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Greybeard Definition
Greybeard
An aging [unix hacker] type with an impressive [unix beard] that has now turned grey. Originally a young [neckbeard], these [Gandalf] resembling [curmudgeons] are renowned for their knowledge of theoretical computer science, arcane unix and complete inability to use a remotely contemporary computer.
Typically employed in academia, they are a dying breed from an antediluvian age of 8" [floppies], magnetic tape and timeshared computing. Despite having invented multiuser OSes and the internet, Greybeards prefer to live in the past, where they consider [Fortran] to be a high level programming language. Typical Greybeard computers are dated [Sun workstations] or old PCs running a command line only [BSD] variant, Greybeards shun GUIs, unless they're horrible and dated, like CDE or [Amiga] Workbench.
Some, like Edsger Dijkstra do most of their computer science as entirely theoretical exercises on paper and haven't programmed a computer since 1972.
Contacting a greybeard can be dificult, due to their anti-social and neo-luddite nature. Your best bet is to give up on texting, facebook or the phone and instead try the unix finger command or [HAM radio].
Famous greybeards include: Dennis Ritchie, Brian Kernighan, Ken Thompson, Richard M. Stallman, Edsger Dijkstra.
Note: an actual beard can be optional, as demonstrated by Donald Knuth and Clifford Stoll.
Example: The professor for my CS 320 class is a total greybeard! All his handouts are typset in LaTeX, he uses the chalkboard instead showing slides and the computer in his office is a Sun workstation! He only accepts classwork in Lisp and checks his email once a week!
Source: http://pastebin.com/kMZ4hDf2
@knoebber
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was your professor Mr Stone?

@hashimaziz1
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Enjoyable read, but including Dennis Ritchey but not Brian Kernighan?

@LightAutumnMelancholy
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LightAutumnMelancholy commented Oct 10, 2019

There is no way you were taught by a Greybeard, he would have enforced a per line character limit on this. xD

@lenards
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lenards commented Oct 10, 2019

There is no way you were taught by a Greybeard, he would have enforced a per line character limit on this. xD

Good point. Does it claim I was taught by a Greybeard?

@LightAutumnMelancholy
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There is no way you were taught by a Greybeard, he would have enforced a per line character limit on this. xD

Good point. Does it claim I was taught by a Greybeard?

No. No it does not. Oof.

@lenards
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lenards commented Oct 17, 2019

I would welcome any edits to get it to the essence. I have completely forgot I posted this.

@LightAutumnMelancholy
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Ah no worries, I was just being a bit cheeky that day, it was a lovely read.

@lenards
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lenards commented Oct 17, 2019

Appreciate it!

@LiohMoeller
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It's not dead yet: http://vmssoftware.com/updates_port.html

OpenVMS FTW!

@NealC
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NealC commented May 25, 2022

It's not dead yet: http://vmssoftware.com/updates_port.html

Gives a 404...

...perfect way to end this thread ;-)

@lenards
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lenards commented May 25, 2022

It is a perfect way to end!

But, we can do better. The page is archived on The Wayback Machine:
https://web.archive.org/web/2021*/http://vmssoftware.com/updates_port.html

Looks to be tangentially-related-to-the-topic post:
https://web.archive.org/web/20191015214540/http://vmssoftware.com/updates_port.html

🤷

@lenards
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lenards commented May 25, 2022

I'm surprised no one mentioned that there was a typo in the spelling of Dennis Ritchie's name.

@twome
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twome commented Aug 5, 2023

lmao, love this. really gets right at the core of the phenomenon

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