Dudely beloved we have gathered here today for largely ceremonial reasons. We are here to participate in a wedding or, in the parlance of our times, to witness these two Dudes in the process of getting hitched (NOTE: Dude is the proper nomenclature for both male and female folks).
By this act we unite Nigel and Sue in dudely matrimony. Wedding are normally complex, lots of ins, lots of outs, lots of what-have-yous. What we do today is simple and is done in harmony with the laws of the state of Arizona and in the beautiful tradition of Dudes throughout history who (while not hee-ros, cause what's a hee-ro?) fit in with their time and place.
Nigel and Sue, before I lose my train of thought, I want to affirm that you stand before me having requested that I marry you both without compulsion but with joy. Do you both do this abidingly and without being uptight?
(They answer "Heck yeah, of course")
Do any of you compeers know of any new shit that's come to light concerning why we may not continue with this wedding?
(Compeers answer "That's cool, that's cool.")
Then let us continue. Sue, if it is your desire to become the exclusive special partner, what-have-you, of Nigel, then repeat after me.
"I,
Sue, take you,Nigel, to be special man/what-have-you. In this moment I promise before these good folks to love and abide with you when life deals strikes and gutters, all the same; to always check in to see what condition our condition is in; and take it easy, from this day forward - until death do us part.
To other partner:
Nigel, if it is your desire to become the exclusive special partner of Sue, then repeat after me.
"I,
Nigel, take you,Sue, to be my special lady/what-have-you. In this moment I promise before these good folks to love and abide with you when life deals strikes and gutters, all the same; to always check in to see what condition our condition is in; and take it easy, from this day forward - until death do us part.
Sue and Nigel, you have shared promises and whatnot and pretty much have taken it easy in our presence. There is nothing separating you now, you are elemental - united, bound - as it may be.
By the power invested in me by The Church of the Latter-Day Dude, according to the laws of the state of Arizona, I now pronounce you husband and wife ... You may seal your promise with a physical act of love (preferably a kiss).
Sue, you may not kiss your husband.
(Couple kisses.)
As it may be, you can imagine where it goes from here. Let me present to thee, Mr. & Mrs. Fullerton.
Our newly united couple would like invite you to the In-n-Out, you know over over of Kino Parkway - by the baseball stadium.
💯