marcuszierke/randomQuoteMachine.html

## randomQuoteMachine.html

<html>
<head>
    <title>Random Quote Machine</title>
    <!--<link rel="stylesheet" href="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/3.3.7/css/bootstrap.min.css">-->
	<link href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Source+Sans+Pro:300,400,700,300italic,400italic,700italic" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css">
    <link rel="stylesheet" href="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/3.3.7/css/bootstrap.min.css">
	<style>
		body {
			background: black;
			color: white;
		}
		.general {
			font-family: "Source Sans Pro","Helvetica Neue",Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;
			margin: 12px;
			padding-top: 210px;
			border-top: 500px;
			text-align: center;
			font-size: 1.5em;
		}
		.text {
			padding-top: 30px;
			padding-bottom: 20px;
			font-size: 2em;
			margin: 0px 250px 0px 250px;
			font-weight: 700;
		}
		button {
			color: white;
			outline: 0;
			background: none;
			border: none;
		}
	</style>
	<script src="https://code.jquery.com/jquery-1.9.1.min.js"></script>
	<script src="https://use.fontawesome.com/fae79db71d.js"></script>
	<script>
			var quotes = ["I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.", "A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.", "What, there’s no bodily functions at the deanery? Just catered affairs?", "I don’t just say shit. I mean, I do talk a lot of shit, but I generally mean what I say and I say what I mean.", "We needn’t ever speak of it again but one does not very easily forget the kiss of a beautiful woman. That’s right. I said it. I meant it. I’m here to represent it.", "Down the road, job opportunities tend to dwindle for those in the more naked professions.", "Do you think the ladies have gone too far with the sex-positive feminism? I mean, I know they all say they’re down with the pornography and the shaved pudenda and whatnot, but do we really think that this is the path to liberation?", "Are you sexually harassing me right now? Because if you are, I think I’m gonna have to report you. For giving me a serious boner.", "That is a prime example of what’s wrong with the younger generation today – you leave nothing to the imagination.", "Teenage girls are greatly overrated.", "It is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it. I’ve heard it said that satisfaction is the death of desire.", "I can’t teach you how to write, and anybody who says they can is full of shit.", "Don’t be niggardly with your emotions. Just run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.", "I may be easy, but I’m not sleazy.", "You really have to want to quit. You gotta hit rock bottom.", "You can’t blame everything on the economy, douche bag.", "No time like the present.", "I can write anywhere… Or not, as the case may be, which is not the case.", "I like it here. It’s nice. The sun is chirping. The birds are shining. The water’s wet. Life is good, sweetheart. Life is good.", "There is no life without love. None worth having, anyway.", "Integrity. That’s a fine quality in a mistress.", "Things fall apart. They break. That’s life.", "Friends don’t let friends bang each other’s soul mates.", "I consider that whole area – general area – my cock. Like, from my knees to my nipples – cock.", "Who puts a fuckin’ bush there?", "Declaring Jihad on your pussy.", "Despite all evidence to the contrary, I am a gentleman.", "Wow! First a kiss, now the sweet-talk. What’s next, a little hand release?", "Don’t you sometimes wish you had two cocks? I do.", "Whatever you do, don’t be another brick in the wall!", "Everybody’s a fucking comedian.", "I’ve got a godlike erection. Seems a shame to waste it.", "Stay away from musicians. They’re nothing but trouble.", "Time to hang up your drinking shoes, lady.", "Well, I’m not much one for causes, good or otherwise. I’m not a joiner.", "Well, that’s what I do. I entertain.", "Talk, really? Has anything good ever come of such a thing ever?", "Don’t look a gift piece of overpriced pop art in the mouth.", "You have a dog named Cat Stevens? Holy fuck!", "It’s a “broner”. The word I’m looking for. Unintentionally man-inspired boner… broner. Duly noted. Broner!", "I know that look. That’s the look that shrivels me testies.", "I google myself but I never cheated on you. Never.", "Maybe I should hide under your clit, he’d never find me there.", "Sweet baby Jesus…Hank is going to hell.", "'Life is complicated, man.'' That’s what you got?", "There’s nothing quite like getting stoned on the very bed that your ex-domestic partner shares with her fiancé. It’s the little things.", "Nobody likes you. You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche.", "I think I just lost my manhood. And got hungry at the same time.", "Your assistant makes me want to touch myself in a bad place.", "You looking for a cock punch?", "I’m a writer. Non practicing.", "I’m fine, I’m disgusted with my life and myself but I’m not unhappy about that. How are you?", "Now you’re giving me that look right now…look like I finger banged your cat.", "I think we can all agree by and large that men are assholes.", "Funky back tat on the small of the back. You know what that means. She likes it in the pooper.", "Oh no, my dear. That wasn't sex. That was naked poetry!", "Rehab is for quitters.", "You know, it's not fair to say 'B.R.B' and then never actually B.R.B.", "Hate the game, not the playa.", "Smell you later."];
			$(document).ready(function() {
				var quotPick;
				$("#click").click(function() {
					quotPick = quotes[Math.floor(Math.random()*quotes.length)];
					$("#text").text(quotPick);
				});
				$("#tweet").click(function() {
					window.open('https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?hashtags= californication, hankmoody&text=' + quotPick);
				});
			});
			</script>
	</head>
	<body>
		<section class="general">
		<div>
			<div class="row">
				Best Hank Moody Quotes of all times.
			</div>
			<div id="text" class="text">
				Let the Moody talk	!
			</div>
			<div class="row">
				<div class="col-md-5"></div>
				<div class="row">
					<div class="col-md-1">
                    <button id="tweet">
                        <span class="fa-stack fa-2x">
                            <i class="fa fa-circle-thin fa-stack-2x"></i>
                            <i class="fa fa-twitter fa-stack-1x text-primary" style="color: white;"></i>
                        </span>
                    </button>
                    </div>
					<div class="col-md-1">
                        <button id="click">
                        	<span class="fa-stack fa-2x">
                            	 <i class="fa fa-circle-thin fa-stack-2x"></i>
                            	 <i class="fa fa-play fa-stack-1x text-primary" style="color: white;"></i>
                    		</span>
                    	</button>
                    </div>
				</div>
			</div>
		</div>
	</section>
</body>
</html>

	<html>
	<head>
	<title>Random Quote Machine</title>
	<!--<link rel="stylesheet" href="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/3.3.7/css/bootstrap.min.css">-->
	<link href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Source+Sans+Pro:300,400,700,300italic,400italic,700italic" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css">
	<link rel="stylesheet" href="https://maxcdn.bootstrapcdn.com/bootstrap/3.3.7/css/bootstrap.min.css">
	<style>
	body {
	background: black;
	color: white;
	}
	.general {
	font-family: "Source Sans Pro","Helvetica Neue",Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif;
	margin: 12px;
	padding-top: 210px;
	border-top: 500px;
	text-align: center;
	font-size: 1.5em;
	}
	.text {
	padding-top: 30px;
	padding-bottom: 20px;
	font-size: 2em;
	margin: 0px 250px 0px 250px;
	font-weight: 700;
	}
	button {
	color: white;
	outline: 0;
	background: none;
	border: none;
	}
	</style>
	<script src="https://code.jquery.com/jquery-1.9.1.min.js"></script>
	<script src="https://use.fontawesome.com/fae79db71d.js"></script>
	<script>
	var quotes = ["I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.", "A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness.", "What, there’s no bodily functions at the deanery? Just catered affairs?", "I don’t just say shit. I mean, I do talk a lot of shit, but I generally mean what I say and I say what I mean.", "We needn’t ever speak of it again but one does not very easily forget the kiss of a beautiful woman. That’s right. I said it. I meant it. I’m here to represent it.", "Down the road, job opportunities tend to dwindle for those in the more naked professions.", "Do you think the ladies have gone too far with the sex-positive feminism? I mean, I know they all say they’re down with the pornography and the shaved pudenda and whatnot, but do we really think that this is the path to liberation?", "Are you sexually harassing me right now? Because if you are, I think I’m gonna have to report you. For giving me a serious boner.", "That is a prime example of what’s wrong with the younger generation today – you leave nothing to the imagination.", "Teenage girls are greatly overrated.", "It is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it. I’ve heard it said that satisfaction is the death of desire.", "I can’t teach you how to write, and anybody who says they can is full of shit.", "Don’t be niggardly with your emotions. Just run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.", "I may be easy, but I’m not sleazy.", "You really have to want to quit. You gotta hit rock bottom.", "You can’t blame everything on the economy, douche bag.", "No time like the present.", "I can write anywhere… Or not, as the case may be, which is not the case.", "I like it here. It’s nice. The sun is chirping. The birds are shining. The water’s wet. Life is good, sweetheart. Life is good.", "There is no life without love. None worth having, anyway.", "Integrity. That’s a fine quality in a mistress.", "Things fall apart. They break. That’s life.", "Friends don’t let friends bang each other’s soul mates.", "I consider that whole area – general area – my cock. Like, from my knees to my nipples – cock.", "Who puts a fuckin’ bush there?", "Declaring Jihad on your pussy.", "Despite all evidence to the contrary, I am a gentleman.", "Wow! First a kiss, now the sweet-talk. What’s next, a little hand release?", "Don’t you sometimes wish you had two cocks? I do.", "Whatever you do, don’t be another brick in the wall!", "Everybody’s a fucking comedian.", "I’ve got a godlike erection. Seems a shame to waste it.", "Stay away from musicians. They’re nothing but trouble.", "Time to hang up your drinking shoes, lady.", "Well, I’m not much one for causes, good or otherwise. I’m not a joiner.", "Well, that’s what I do. I entertain.", "Talk, really? Has anything good ever come of such a thing ever?", "Don’t look a gift piece of overpriced pop art in the mouth.", "You have a dog named Cat Stevens? Holy fuck!", "It’s a “broner”. The word I’m looking for. Unintentionally man-inspired boner… broner. Duly noted. Broner!", "I know that look. That’s the look that shrivels me testies.", "I google myself but I never cheated on you. Never.", "Maybe I should hide under your clit, he’d never find me there.", "Sweet baby Jesus…Hank is going to hell.", "'Life is complicated, man.'' That’s what you got?", "There’s nothing quite like getting stoned on the very bed that your ex-domestic partner shares with her fiancé. It’s the little things.", "Nobody likes you. You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you fucking douche.", "I think I just lost my manhood. And got hungry at the same time.", "Your assistant makes me want to touch myself in a bad place.", "You looking for a cock punch?", "I’m a writer. Non practicing.", "I’m fine, I’m disgusted with my life and myself but I’m not unhappy about that. How are you?", "Now you’re giving me that look right now…look like I finger banged your cat.", "I think we can all agree by and large that men are assholes.", "Funky back tat on the small of the back. You know what that means. She likes it in the pooper.", "Oh no, my dear. That wasn't sex. That was naked poetry!", "Rehab is for quitters.", "You know, it's not fair to say 'B.R.B' and then never actually B.R.B.", "Hate the game, not the playa.", "Smell you later."];
	$(document).ready(function() {
	var quotPick;
	$("#click").click(function() {
	quotPick = quotes[Math.floor(Math.random()*quotes.length)];
	$("#text").text(quotPick);
	});
	$("#tweet").click(function() {
	window.open('https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?hashtags= californication, hankmoody&text=' + quotPick);
	});
	});
	</script>
	</head>
	<body>
	<section class="general">
	<div>
	<div class="row">
	Best Hank Moody Quotes of all times.
	</div>
	<div id="text" class="text">
	Let the Moody talk !
	</div>
	<div class="row">
	<div class="col-md-5"></div>
	<div class="row">
	<div class="col-md-1">
	<button id="tweet">
	<span class="fa-stack fa-2x">
	<i class="fa fa-circle-thin fa-stack-2x"></i>
	<i class="fa fa-twitter fa-stack-1x text-primary" style="color: white;"></i>
	</span>
	</button>
	</div>
	<div class="col-md-1">
	<button id="click">
	<span class="fa-stack fa-2x">
	<i class="fa fa-circle-thin fa-stack-2x"></i>
	<i class="fa fa-play fa-stack-1x text-primary" style="color: white;"></i>
	</span>
	</button>
	</div>
	</div>
	</div>
	</div>
	</section>
	</body>
	</html>