will mcafee eat his own dick api in java. requires javalin and unirest

Main.java

package com.company;
import com.mashape.unirest.http.JsonNode;
import com.mashape.unirest.http.Unirest;
import java.text.SimpleDateFormat;
import java.util.HashMap;
import java.util.Map;
import java.util.concurrent.TimeUnit;
import io.javalin.Javalin;
import org.json.JSONObject;

public class Main {

    public static void print(Object x){
        System.out.print(x);
    }

    public static void main(String[] args) throws Exception {
        Javalin app = Javalin.start(5000);
        app.get("/",ctx->ctx.result(new JSONObject(mcafee()).toString()));
    }

    public static Map mcafee() throws Exception{
        Double bpi = get_bpi();
        Double tbpi = 2244.265;
        Double grate = 0.7826319559;
        Long days_elapsed = TimeUnit.MILLISECONDS.toDays(System.currentTimeMillis() - new SimpleDateFormat("yyyy/MM/dd").parse("2017/07/17").getTime());
        Long days_remaining = TimeUnit.MILLISECONDS.toDays(new SimpleDateFormat("yyyy/MM/dd").parse("2020/12/31").getTime() - System.currentTimeMillis());
        Double pprice = Math.pow(10,grate*(new Double(days_elapsed)/new Double(365)))*tbpi;
        Double pdiff = ((bpi-pprice)/pprice)*100;
        String isdickonthemenu = "Yes!";
        if(pdiff>=0 && pdiff<=10){
            isdickonthemenu = "Maybe?";
        }
        if(pdiff>10){
            isdickonthemenu = "No!";
        }
        pprice = (double)Math.round(pprice * 100d) / 100d;
        pdiff = (double)Math.round(pdiff * 100d) / 100d;
        Map result = new HashMap();
        result.put("isdickonthemenu",isdickonthemenu);
        result.put("current_price",bpi);
        result.put("tweet_price",tbpi);
        result.put("goal_rate",grate);
        result.put("days_elapsed",days_elapsed);
        result.put("days_remaining",days_remaining);
        result.put("parity_price",pprice);
        result.put("difference_percent",pdiff);
        return result;
    }

    public static Double get_bpi() throws Exception{
        JsonNode res = Unirest.get("https://min-api.cryptocompare.com/data/price?fsym=BTC&tsyms=USD,EUR").asJson().getBody();
        return res.getObject().getDouble("USD");
    }
}