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Big Lebowskemoji
interpreted by Matt Haughey @mathowie
best viewed on Safari or iOS mobile
also on Medium:
We open on the desert, with a tumbleweed bouncing into the city.
In the supermarket dairy section, we find The Dude. He writes a
check while George HW Bush speaks on TV.
At home, The Dude goes through his door only to be dragged by
thugs into the bathroom, where he is dunked in a toilet repeatedly.
He loses his sunglasses and then retrieves them. The "chinaman"
pees on the rug.
Title sequence takes place at the bowling alley, closeups of balls,
gutters, pins, smoking, shoes. The Dude and Walter talk about the
valued rug, and maybe Mr. Jeffery Lebowski could pay for his rug,
while they drink beer.
At The Big Lebowski's mansion, The Dude and Brandt look over the
award wall, hear about the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, talk
about the rug. As The Dude leaves he chats up a girl who tells him
to blow her toenail polish, and the guy in the pool won't mind, and
it's Bunnie, who will "suck your cock for a thousand dollars but
Brandt can't watch or that'll be $100 extra" and The Dude says
he'll go find a cash machine.
At the bowling alley, The Dude and Walter (and the Pomeranian)
talk until Smokey steps over the line. Walter warns Smokey that
he is entering a world of pain, and Smokey relents, finally
marking it zero.
In the parking lot The Dude and Walter argue about pacifism and
"that camel fucker in Iraq" as the police arrive in the background.
Phone messages are heard while The Dude mixes a White Russian,
then his landlord asks him to slip the (very late) rent money under
his door.
๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ˜Žโ™ฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿšฌ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ“ƒ๐Ÿ’ฐ
The Dude is summoned to the mansion, where he learns Bunnie has been
kidnapped while he smokes a jay. "Grown men also cry, grown men also
cry" is heard as The Dude reads the faxed over ransom note asking for
a million dollars.
At the bowling alley, we hear the Gipsy Kings' rendition of Hotel
California on guitars as The Jesus bowls a strike in slo-mo and The
Dude and Walter discuss The Jesus and how he's a "pederast" who
exposed himself to an 8 year old. The Jesus says "If you pull that
gun shit on me I'll stick it up your ass and pull the trigger until
it goes click." 8 year olds, Dude.
At his house The Dude listens to bowling tapes on a walkman then
wakes to two thugs and Maude over him, they punch him out and into
a dream sequence.
The Dude wakes up at home with no more (stolen) rug as his beeper
goes off.
The Dude meets Brandt and gets the briefcase full of money along with
a cell phone.
In his car, The Dude picks up Walter who takes over driving and brings
a fake briefcase full of his undies. The kidnappers call, get angered,
then tell The Dude to drive over a bridge, throw the bag out the left
window, while Walter plans an attack with an uzi after bailing at 15mph
from the car. The kidnappers make a getaway on motorcycles and The Dude
and Walter still have a briefcase.
Back at the bowling alley, The Dude and Walter learn the league game is
on Saturday when Walter can't roll for religious reasons. They ignore
the ringing phone. In the parking lot they learn The Dude's car is gone
from its handicapped spot, likely stolen.
The Dude is at home talking to two police officers questioning him about
what was in the car: a briefcase with "business papers" inside, he gets
a call from Maude telling him she has the rug.
At Maude's, The Dude meets Maude, sees her art and she's naked, they discuss
coitus, Bunnie, coitus, then she shows a porn tape of Logjammin', featuring
a woman exiting a shower. They also discuss a split of recovered money and
how The Dude must see the doctor, who is very thorough.
In a limo The Dude enjoys a white russian with Dom Irrera driving, then
is forceably pulled into The Big Lebowski's limo where he shares all
this new shit that has come to light but then is handed a severed toe.
The Big Lebowski says whatever happens to Bunnie will rain down on The
Dude tenfold.
At a diner, Walter and The Dude discuss the toe, which is no big deal,
Walter can get you a toe by 3pm with nail polish. They argue until a
waitress says Walter must quiet down or get kicked out, and he stays to
finish his coffee. He's finishing his coffee.
At home, The Dude gets a call while in the bath just as the kidnappers
break in to threaten him with a marmot.
In North Hollywood, The Dude meets the cop to retrieve his car. The Dude
asks about "leads" and the cop bursts out laughing.
At the bowling alley, The Dude and Walter discuss things over a white
russian & beer, Walter talks about how nothing changes with The Germans,
who won't cut off The Dude's johnson, and aquatic mammals aren't legal
either. The Dude drinks another white russian and talks to The Stranger
who tells The Dude sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear
eats you. Then The Dude gets a call from Maude.
At Maude's place, The Dude meets a strange video artist, makes a white
russian, talks to Maude who urges seeing the doctor, she mentions the
kidnappers' album, she gets a phone call, they laugh.
The Dude is at the doctor's office, and the doctor is very thorough,
asking The Dude to pull down his shorts.
In his car after the doctor appointment, The Dude smokes a jay, notices
he is being followed, drops the joint in his lap, pours a beer onto his
crotch, then crashes his car. He then finds Larry Sellers' homework.
At an auditorium, the landlord performs his dance quintet. The Dude and
Walter talk about confronting Larry, who lives near the In-N-Out, how
they'll shake him down for the money, then get burgers after.
๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ“๐Ÿš—โ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ—ป๐Ÿ”จ๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”
At Larry's house, The Dude and Walter confront Larry, then when stymied,
Walter goes out to destroy the new corvette, talking of what happens
when you fuck a stranger in the ass. This angers the true owner of the
car, and The Dude's car gets destroyed too, but they do end up with burgers.
At home, The Dude tries to brace his door from intruders by hammering a
board in the floor, but the front door opens out, and Jackie Treehorn's
goons arrive to fetch The Dude.
At Jackie's beach party, he meets The Dude and serves him a white russian,
takes a phone call, The Dude copies a note from the call, gets another
drink then is drugged to blackout, a blackout darker than a moonless night.
Dream sequence number 2: A bowling montage. The Dude gets shoes from Saddamn
Hussein, dances with Maude, then his fantasy is interrupted by the kidnappers
chasing him with giant sisscors to cut his dick off.
It's night, The Dude is running down the streets of Malibu, he gets picked
up by a police car. The Dude sings the theme to Branded.
In the police station, the chief of the beach community police yells at
The Dude and throws a coffee cup at The Dude's head, before kicking him
out of Malibu.
The Dude is in a taxi leaving Malibu, doesn't want to hear The Eagles,
and gets kicked out of the cab for demanding the music is turned off.
Bunnie drives by, with all ten toes.
At home, The Dude meets Maude waiting for him, they make love.
Post-coitus they share a smoke, then The Dude makes a white russian
while Maude does "yoga" to increase the chances of conception. The Dude
calls Walter to pick him up because it's an emergency.
Outside, The Dude confronts the guy following him in a blue car and
learns it's a private eye hired by Bunnie's family.
Walter picks up The Dude
Cut to a diner, where the kidnappers order pancakes, and we see a
girlfriend of theirs (Amiee Mann!) is missing a toe.
In Walter's van, The Dude and Walter talk about the case and judaism's
glorious history. We see Bunnie's car crashed into a fountain.
At the mansion, The Dude and Walter confront Brandt, then the Big
Lebowski about the money and Bunnie and how it was all a fake setup
of The Dude. Walter is convinced the Big Lebowski isn't really disabled,
dumps him from the chair, and the dog licks him while he sobs.
At the bowling alley, The Jesus confronts them to protest moving
the date of the next round of their bowling league event.
In the parking lot, The Dude's car is on fire. The Dude, Walter,
and Donnie take on the kidnappers who demand money. In a fight,
Walter bites part of an ear off, spitting it into the air. He punches
out another kidnapper. Donnie is down with a heart attack and dies.
At the funeral home, they argue over the costs of taking Donnie's remains.
At the beach, The Dude and Walter give a eulogy, dump the ashes, which
get blown into The Dude. Walter apologizes and hugs The Dude who was livid.
At the bowling alley, The Dude picks up beers for him and Walter, saying
hi to The Stranger. The Stranger talks a bit to finish it all up.
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