Deep-fried Sarcastic Spongebob on nontrivial package submission

spongebob-trivialpants.R

# Regarding this toot: https://fosstodon.org/@coolbutuseless/111134523140682110
# Referring to this guidance: https://cran.r-project.org/web/packages/policies.html
# Using this deep-fry tech: https://www.rostrum.blog/posts/2021-11-07-deepfry/

library(magick)
library(spongebob)

fry <- function(
    img_path, emoji_path,
    text_top, text_bottom,
    depth = c("shallow", "deep")) {
  
  depth <- match.arg(depth)
  
  cat("Heating oil... ")
  
  emoji <- magick::image_read(emoji_path)
  
  emoji_where <-  sample(c(  
    paste0("north", c("east", "west")),
    paste0("south", c("east", "west")),
    "east", "west"  # e.g. 'east' is right
  ), 1)
  
  img <- image_read(img_path) |> 
    image_annotate(
      text_top, "north", size = 80, font = "Impact",
      color = "white", strokecolor = "black"
    ) |>
    image_annotate(
      text_bottom, "south", size = 80, font = "Impact",
      color = "white", strokecolor = "black"
    ) |>
    image_scale("1000") |> 
    image_composite(emoji, gravity = emoji_where) |> 
    image_colorize(30, "orange") |>  # tint
    image_modulate(brightness = 80, saturation = 120, hue = 90) |>
    image_contrast(sharpen = 100) |> 
    image_noise()
  
  cat("dunking meme... ")
  
  if (depth == "shallow") {
    img <- img %>% image_implode(-0.5)  # bulge
    compress <- 8
  } else if (depth == "deep") {
    img <- img %>% image_implode(-1)  # more bulge
    compress <- 1  # maximum compression
  } 
  
  path_out <- tempfile("meme", fileext = ".jpeg")
  image_write(img, path_out, "jpeg", compress)
  
  cat("crisp.")
  image_read(path_out)
  
}

sponge_path <- paste0(  # URL to meme image
  "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/matt-dray/rostrum-blog/",
  "master/static/post/2021-11-07-deepfry_files/spongebob.jpg"
)

emoji_path <- paste0(  # URL to cry/laugh emoji
  "https://raw.githubusercontent.com/matt-dray/rostrum-blog/",
  "master/static/post/2021-11-07-deepfry_files/deepfry-emoji.jpg"
)

top_txt <- tospongebob("CRAN hosts packages of\npublication quality")
bot_txt <- tospongebob("A package’s contribution\nhas to be non-trivial")

fry(sponge_path, emoji_path, top_txt, bot_txt)