Shakespearean Insult Generator

ShakespeareanInsult.js

// Shakespearean Insult Generator
//
// Generates a random Shakespearean insult given three word lists, taken 
// from this web page: http://bit.ly/OBqi3K

var ShakespeareanInsult = function() {

  var words1 = [ 'artless', 'bawdy', 'beslubbering', 'bootless', 'churlish', 
    'cockered', 'clouted', 'craven', 'currish', 'dankish', 'dissembling', 
    'droning', 'errant', 'fawning', 'fobbing', 'froward', 'frothy', 
    'gleeking', 'goatish', 'gorbellied', 'impertinent', 'infectious', 
    'jarring', 'loggerheaded', 'lumpish', 'mammering', 'mangled', 'mewling', 
    'paunchy', 'pribbling', 'puking', 'puny', 'qualling', 'rank', 'reeky', 
    'roguish', 'ruttish', 'saucy', 'spleeny', 'spongy', 'surly', 'tottering', 
    'unmuzzled', 'vain', 'venomed', 'villainous', 'warped', 'wayward', 
    'weedy', 'yeasty' 
  ];

  var words2 = [ 'base-court', 'bat-fowling', 'beef-witted', 'beetle-headed', 
    'boil-brained', 'clapper-clawed', 'clay-brained', 'common-kissing', 
    'crook-pated', 'dismal-dreaming', 'dizzy-eyed', 'doghearted', 
    'dread-bolted', 'earth-vexing', 'elf-skinned', 'fat-kidneyed', 
    'fen-sucked', 'flap-mouthed', 'fly-bitten', 'folly-fallen', 'fool-born', 
    'full-gorged', 'guts-griping', 'half-faced', 'hasty-witted', 'hedge-born', 
    'hell-hated', 'idle-headed', 'ill-breeding', 'ill-nurtured', 
    'knotty-pated', 'milk-livered', 'motley-minded', 'onion-eyed', 
    'plume-plucked', 'pottle-deep', 'pox-marked', 'reeling-ripe', 
    'rough-hewn', 'rude-growing', 'rump-fed', 'shard-borne', 'sheep-biting', 
    'spur-galled', 'swag-bellied', 'tardy-gaited', 'tickle-brained', 
    'toad-spotted', 'unchin-snouted', 'weather-bitten'
  ];

  var words3 = [ 'apple-john', 'baggage', 'barnacle', 'bladder', 'boar-pig', 
    'bugbear', 'bum-bailey', 'canker-blossom', 'clack-dish', 'clotpole', 
    'coxcomb', 'codpiece', 'death-token', 'dewberry', 'flap-dragon', 
    'flax-wench', 'flirt-gill', 'foot-licker', 'fustilarian', 'giglet', 
    'gudgeon', 'haggard', 'harpy', 'hedge-pig', 'horn-beast', 'hugger-mugger', 
    'joithead', 'lewdster', 'lout', 'maggot-pie', 'malt-worm', 'mammet', 
    'measle', 'minnow', 'miscreant', 'moldwarp', 'mumble-news', 'nut-hook', 
    'pigeon-egg', 'pignut', 'puttock', 'pumpion', 'ratsbane', 'scut', 
    'skainsmate', 'strumpet', 'varlot', 'vassal', 'whey-face', 'wagtail'
  ];

  var _insult = function() {
    return [
      'Thou',   _randomElement(words1), 
       _randomElement(words2),  _randomElement(words3) + '!',
    ].join(' ');
  };

  var _randomElement = function(list) {
    var index = Math.floor((Math.random()  * list.length));
    return list[index];
  }

  return {
    insult: _insult
  };
}();

module.exports = ShakespeareanInsult;

if (require.main === module) {
  console.log(ShakespeareanInsult.insult());
}