Stratton: Yeah, I was at Velocity last week, speaker lounge, and I got me a conversation with Jez Humble.
Cheslock: Hey browski, two sugar free red bulls over here.
Stratton: You want to be on a podcast? You gotta make sure you’re ready.
Cheslock: You know what this is? This is my new fucking continuous delivery pipeline. You know what that means? I’m delivering some fucking software tonight. My boys? They’re deploying software too. They’ve all got the same pipeline too. They’re deploying some fucking software tonight.
I’m going to test every piece of code that hits that git repo. I’m going to test it until my fucking spec tests fall off.
The business fucking loves my pipeline. And if they don’t? They’re fucking redditors. Fucking redditor. Fucking redditors.
Yeah I treat my infrastructure as code. Because I’m the fucking devop. And everyone should know it. I swear to god, if a motherfucker commits code without passing tests, I’m starting a fight. You fucking committing code?
Scrum master: Excuse me, can you participate in standup?
Cheslock: Not now chief, I’m in the fucking hosted zone.
Cheslock: I’m the fucking devop, UGH!
Cheslock: Yeah I use Docker. I containerize that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Cheslock: I’m in control. I’m in fucking control…monitoring agents…WHERE’S THE GODDAMN MONITORING AGENTS, MA?!! I told to you deploy some monitoring agents!
Cheslock: Yeah I fucking tweet when I have a successful deployment to production. That’s because everyone should see how safely and consistently I push my software.
Cheslock: Two fucking DevOpsDays ignite talks over here, chief!
Cheslock; EMPATHY! PHOENIX PROJECT! JEZ HUUUUUUMBLE!!! ETSY!!!!
Cheslock: I’m gonna make critical changes all night. I’m gonna push code with speed and safety all fucking night. AWS? I fucking shower in that shit.
AWS AWS AWS (pushes button to deploy an instance) A. W. S.