my sorry attempt at describing how to make pbj

pbj.md

PBJ

1. If you're not in a well-stocked kitchen, abort, abort.
2. "Retrieve" (look for and pick up in your hands) a "toaster" (a box with slots on top and a "cord" (pronged tail)); we will use this to heat food items in the future, making them more edible
3. Place it on your "workspace" (a clear flat surface)
4. Retrieve a "knife" (a hard, sharp tool); look for "handles" (hand-sized loops attached to sliding bins) and open them until you find a knife, then set it down on your workspace
5. Look along the walls for "electrical sockets" (two slots for the toaster's cord prongs to go into)
6. If the toaster is near enough to the electrical sockets, insert the cord's prongs into an electrical socket
7. If not, pick it up and move it closer, then try again
8. Retrieve a "loaf of bread" (a soft squareish cylinder in a transparent, flimsy bag). There may be more than one bagged item, so use your hands to feel for softness and shape (there's no danger or risk) and choose the one that best matches these critera
9. If there's a "twisty" fastening the bag shut (a flexible band), check the direction in which it's twisting and twist the other way until the bag opens, revealing its loaf
10. If there's a "card" fastening the bag shut (a stiff plastic rectangle), just kind of pull on it until it comes off, that's what I do
11. If you can't get the bread out of its container, abort, abort
12. If the bread is in one piece, take a look back at the toaster's slots, and make note of their size. Place your bread on your workspace with the long side perpendicular to you. Hold the knife above the bread at its end, then move it along above the top of the bread, but stop before you've gone farther than the narrow width of the toaster slot. Move the knife down, dragging bidirectionally, until your knife touches your workspace. Do this once more. Now you have two slices of bread.
13. Else, if the bread is in many pieces, lift the first one up and retrieve the next two.
14. Put your bread back in its container and fasten it; reverse the process of unfastening it
15. Retrieve two "jars" (covered glass cylinders), one with "jelly" (sticky, sweet, red stuff) in it and one with "peanut butter" (thick, brown, rich stuff). Feel free to "open" (turn the lids in either direction until they come off) to test these qualities (by touching your finger to the stuff and then to your tongue).
16. Place your two jars next to your bread
17. Open your jars
18. Place your two slices of bread into two slots of the toaster and "activate" it (push down on its plunger). Wait until the toaster returns your bread, which is now "toast"
19. Retrieve your two pieces of toast and place them on your workspace
20. Insert your knife into one of your jars (pick randomly, no need to get political). Angle the jar 45 degrees with one hand and lift up with your knife-holding-hand until the knife (which now has some stuff on it) has left the jar. Place the stuff-wielding-knife on your first piece of toast, stuff-side-down, and distribute the stuff over one side of the toast
21. Repeat previous step with the other jar and other toast
22. combine your two stuff-covered-toasts, such that the two stuffs are touching
23. Put everything back how you found it, except the PBJ

go to bed :)

@ashleygwilliams i did i fell asleep right then and rewrote on the train this morning :-?