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Reddit History: /u/BlakeClass's comment on What to do if you win The Lottery
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Congratulations! You just won millions of dollars in the lottery! That's great. | |
Now you're fucked. | |
No really. | |
You are. | |
You're fucked. | |
If you just want to skip the biographical tales of woe of some of the math-tax protagonists, | |
skip on down to the next comment. To see what to do in the event you win the lottery. | |
You see, it's something of an open secret that winners of obnoxiously large jackpots tend to | |
end up badly with alarming regularity. Not the $1 million dollar winners. But anyone in the | |
nine-figure range is at high risk. Eight-figures? Pretty likely to be screwed. Seven-figures? | |
Yep. Painful. Perhaps this is a consequence of the sample. The demographics of lottery players | |
might be exactly the wrong people to win large sums of money. Or perhaps money is the root of | |
all evil. Either way, you are going to have to be careful. Don't believe me? Consider this: | |
Large jackpot winners face double-digit multiples of probability versus the general | |
population to be the victim of: | |
* Homicide (something like 20x more likely) | |
* Drug overdose | |
* Bankruptcy (how's that for irony?) | |
* Kidnapping | |
And triple-digit multiples of probability versus the general population | |
rate to be: | |
* Convicted of drunk driving | |
* The victim of Homicide (at the hands of a family member) 120x more | |
likely in this case, ain't love grand? | |
* A defendant in a civil lawsuit | |
* A defendant in felony criminal proceedings | |
Believe it or not, your biggest enemy if you suddenly become possessed | |
of large sums of money is...you. At least you will have the consolation | |
of meeting your fate by your own hand. But if you can't manage it on | |
your own, don't worry. There are any number of willing participants | |
ready to help you start your vicious downward spiral for you. Mind you, | |
many of these will be "friends," "friendly neighbors," or "family." | |
Often, they won't even have evil intentions. But, as I'm sure you know, | |
that makes little difference in the end. Most aren't evil. Most aren't | |
malicious. Some are. None are good for you. | |
Jack Whittaker, a Johnny Cash attired, West Virginia native, is the | |
poster boy for the dangers of a lump sum award. In 2002 Mr. Whittaker | |
(55 years old at the time) won what was, also at the time, the largest | |
single award jackpot in U.S. history. $315 million. At the time, he | |
planned to live as if nothing had changed, or so he said. He was | |
remarkably modest and decent before the jackpot, and his ship sure | |
came in, right? | |
Wrong. | |
Mr. Whittaker became the subject of a number of personal challenges, | |
escalating into personal tragedies, complicated by a number of legal | |
troubles. | |
Whittaker wasn't a typical lottery winner either. His net worth at the | |
time of his winnings was in excess of $15 million, owing to his | |
ownership of a successful contracting firm in West Virginia. His claim | |
to want to live "as if nothing had changed" actually seemed plausible. | |
He should have been well equipped for wealth. He was already quite | |
wealthy, after all. By all accounts he was somewhat modest, low profile, | |
generous and good-natured. He should have coasted off into the sunset. | |
Yeah. | |
Not exactly. | |
Whittaker took the all-cash option, $170 million, instead of the annuity | |
option, and took possession of $114 million in cash after $56 million in | |
taxes. After that, things went south. | |
Whittaker quickly became the subject of a number of financial stalkers, | |
who would lurk at his regular breakfast hideout and accost him with | |
suggestions for how to spend his money. They were unemployed. No, an | |
interview tomorrow morning wasn't good enough. They needed cash NOW. | |
Perhaps they had a sure-fire business plan. Their daughter had cancer. A | |
niece needed dialysis. Needless to say, Whittaker stopped going to his | |
breakfast haunt. Eventually, they began ringing his doorbell. Sometimes | |
in the early morning. Before long he was paying off-duty deputies to | |
protect his family. He was accused of being heartless. Cold. Stingy. | |
Letters poured in. Children with cancer. Diabetes. MS. You name it. He | |
hired three people to sort the mail. A detective to filter out the false | |
claims and the con men (and women) was retained. | |
Brenda, the clerk who had sold Whittaker the ticket, was a victim of collateral | |
damage. Whittaker had written her a check for $44,000 and bought her house, | |
but she was by no means a millionaire. Rumors that the state routinely paid | |
the clerk who had sold the ticket 10% of the jackpot winnings hounded her. | |
She was followed home from work. Threatened. Assaulted. | |
Whittaker's car was twice broken into, by trusted acquaintances who watched | |
him leave large amounts of cash in it. $500,000 and $200,000 were stolen in | |
two separate instances. The thieves spiked Whittaker's drink with prescription | |
drugs in the first instance. The second incident was the handiwork of his | |
granddaughter's friends, who had been probing the girl for details on | |
Whittaker's cash for weeks. | |
Even Whittaker's good-faith generosity was questioned. When he offered $10,000 | |
to improve the city's water park so that it was more handicap accessible, | |
locals complained that he spent more money at the strip club (amusingly this | |
was true). | |
Whittaker invested quite a bit in his own businesses, tripled the number of | |
people his businesses employed (making him one of the larger employers in the | |
area), and eventually had given away $14 million to charity through a foundation | |
he set up for the purpose. This is, of course, what you are "supposed" to do. | |
Set up a foundation. Be careful about your charitable giving. It made no | |
difference in the end. | |
To top it all off, Whittaker had been accused of ruining a number of marriages. | |
His money made other men look inferior, they said, wherever he went in the small | |
West Virginia town he called home. Resentment grew quickly. And festered. | |
Whittaker paid four settlements related to this sort of claim. Yes, you read | |
that right. Four. | |
His family and their immediate circle were quickly the victims of odds-defying | |
numbers of overdoses, emergency room visits, and even fatalities. His | |
granddaughter, the eighteen-year-old "Brandi" (who Whittaker had been giving | |
a $2100.00 per week allowance) was found dead after having been missing for | |
several weeks. Her death was, apparently, from a drug overdose, but Whittaker | |
suspected foul play. Her body had been wrapped in a tarp and hidden behind a | |
rusted-out van. Her seventeen-year-old boyfriend had expired three months earlier | |
in Whittaker's vacation house, also from an overdose. Some of his friends had | |
robbed the house after his overdose, stepping over his body to make their escape | |
and then returning for more before stepping over his body again to leave. His | |
parents sued for wrongful death claiming that Whittaker's loose purse strings | |
contributed to their son's death. Amazingly, juries are prone to award damages | |
in cases such as these. Whittaker settled. Again. | |
Even before the deaths, the local and state police had taken a special interest | |
in Whittaker after his new-found fame. He was arrested for minor and less minor | |
offenses many times after his winnings, despite having had a nearly spotless | |
record before the award. Whittaker's high profile couldn't have helped him much | |
in this regard. | |
In 18 months Whittaker had been cited for over 250 violations ranging from broken | |
tail lights on every one of his five new cars to the improper display of renewal | |
stickers. A lawsuit charging various police organizations with harassment went | |
nowhere and Whittaker was hit with court costs instead. | |
Whittaker's wife filed for divorce, and in the process froze a number of his | |
assets and the accounts of his operating companies. Caesars in Atlantic City | |
sued him for $1.5 million to cover bounced checks, caused by the asset freeze. | |
Today Whittaker is badly in debt, and bankruptcy looms large in his future. | |
But, hey, that's just one example, right? | |
Wrong. | |
Nearly one-third of multi-million dollar jackpot winners eventually declare | |
bankruptcy. Some end up worse. To give you just a taste of the possibilities, | |
consider the fates of: | |
* Billie Bob Harrell, Jr.: $31 million. Texas, 1997. As of 1999: Committed | |
suicide in the wake of incessant requests for money from friends and family. | |
“Winning the lottery is the worst thing that ever happened to me. | |
* William âBudâ Post: $16.2 million. Pennsylvania. 1988. In 1989: Brother | |
hires a contract murderer to kill him and his sixth wife. Landlady sued for a | |
portion of the jackpot. Convicted of assault for firing a gun at a debt collector. | |
Declared bankruptcy. Dead in 2006. | |
* Evelyn Adams: $5.4 million (won TWICE 1985, 1986). As of 2001: Poor and living | |
in a trailer gave away and gambled most of her fortune. | |
* Suzanne Mullins: $4.2 million. Virginia. 1993. As of 2004: No assets left. | |
* Shefik Tallmadge: $6.7 million. Arizona. 1988. As of 2005: Declared bankruptcy. | |
* Thomas Strong: $3 million. Texas. 1993. As of 2006: Died in a shoot-out with police. | |
* Victoria Zell: $11 million. 2001. Minnesota. As of 2006: Broke. Serving a | |
seven-year sentence for vehicular manslaughter. | |
* Karen Cohen: $1 million. Illinois. 1984. As of 2000: Filed for bankruptcy. As of | |
2006: Sentenced to 22 months for lying to the federal bankruptcy court. | |
* Jeffrey Dampier: $20 million. Illinois. 1996. As of 2006: Kidnapped and murdered | |
by own sister-in-law. | |
* Ed Gildein: $8.8 million. Texas. 1993. As of 2003: Dead. His wife saddled with | |
his debts. As of 2005: His wife was being sued by her own daughter who claimed | |
that she was taking money from a trust fund and squandering cash in Las Vegas. | |
* Willie Hurt: $3.1 million. Michigan. 1989. As of 1991: Addicted to cocaine. | |
Divorced. Broke. Indicted for murder. | |
* Michael Klingebiel: $2 million. As of 1998 sued by his own mother claiming he | |
failed to share the jackpot with her. | |
* Janite Lee: $18 million. 1993. Missouri. As of 2001: Filed for bankruptcy | |
with $700 in assets. | |
So, what the hell DO you do if you are unlucky enough to win the lottery? | |
This is the absolute most important thing you can do right away: NOTHING. | |
Yes. Nothing. | |
DO NOT DECLARE YOURSELF THE WINNER yet. | |
Do NOT tell anyone. The urge is going to be nearly irresistible. | |
Resist it. | |
Trust me. | |
1. IMMEDIATELY retain an attorney. | |
Get a partner from a larger, NATIONAL firm. Don't let them pawn off junior | |
partners or associates on you. They might try, all law firms might but | |
insist instead that your lead be a partner who has been with the firm for a | |
while. Do NOT use your local attorney. Yes, I mean your long-standing family | |
attorney who did your mother's will. Do not use the guy who fought your | |
dry-cleaner bill. Do not use the guy you have trusted your entire life because | |
of his long and faithful service to your family. In fact, do not use any firm | |
that has any connection to family or friends, or community. | |
TRUST me. | |
This is bad. | |
You want someone who has never heard of you, any of your friends, or any | |
member of your family. Go to the closest big city and walk into one of the | |
national firms asking for one of the "Trust and Estates" partners you have | |
previously looked up on http://www.martindale.com from one of the largest | |
50 firms in the United States which have an office near you. You can look | |
up attornies by practice area and firm on Martindale. | |
2. Decide to take the lump sum. | |
Most lotteries pay a really pathetic rate for the annuity. It usually | |
hovers around 4.5% annual return or less, depending. It doesn't take much | |
to do better than this, and if you have the money already in cash, rather | |
than leaving it in the hands of the state, you can pull from the capital | |
whenever you like. If you take the annuity you won't have access to that | |
cash. That could be good. It could be bad. It's probably bad unless you | |
have a very addictive personality. If you need an allowance managed by | |
the state, it is because you didn't listen to point #1 above. | |
Why not let the state just handle it for you and give you your allowance? | |
Many state lotteries pay you your "allowance" (the annuity option) by buying | |
U.S. treasury instruments and running the interest payments through their | |
bureaucracy before sending it to you along with a hunk of the principal | |
every month. You will not be beating inflation by much, if at all. There is | |
no reason you couldn't do this yourself if a low single-digit return is | |
acceptable to you. | |
You aren't going to get even remotely the amount of the actual jackpot. Take | |
our old friend Mr. Whittaker. Using Whittaker is a good model both because of | |
the reminder of his ignominious decline, and the fact that his winning ticket | |
was one of the larger ones on record. If his situation looks less than stellar | |
to you, you might have a better perspective on how "large" your winnings | |
aren't. Whittaker's "jackpot" was $315 million. He selected the lump-sum cash | |
up-front option, which knocked off $145 million (or 46% of the total) leaving | |
him with $170 million. That was then subject to withholding for taxes of $56 | |
million (33%) leaving him with $114 million. | |
In general, you should expect to get about half of the original jackpot if | |
you elect a lump sum (maybe better, it depends). After that, you should expect | |
to lose around 33% of your already pruned figure to state and federal taxes. | |
Your mileage may vary, particularly if you live in a state with aggressive | |
taxation schemes. | |
3. Decide right now, how much you plan to give to family and friends. | |
This really shouldn't be more than 20% or so. Figure it out right now. Pick | |
your number. Tell your lawyer. That's it. Don't change it. 20% of $114 million | |
is $22.8 million. That leaves you with $91.2 million. DO NOT CONSULT WITH FAMILY | |
when deciding how much to give to family. You are going to get advice that is | |
badly tainted by conflict of interest, and if other family members find out that | |
Aunt Flo was consulted and they weren't you will never hear the end of it. | |
Neither will Aunt Flo. This might later form the basis for an allegation that | |
Aunt Flo unduly influenced you and a lawsuit might magically appear on this | |
basis. No, I'm not kidding. I know of one circumstance (related to a business | |
windfall, not a lottery) where the plaintiffs WON this case. | |
Do NOT give anyone cash. Ever. Period. Just don't. Do not buy them houses. Do not | |
buy them cars. Tell your attorney that you want to provide for your family and | |
that you want to set up a series of trusts for them that will total 20% of your | |
after-tax winnings. Tell him you want the trust empowered to fund higher | |
education, some help (not a total) purchase of their first home, some provision | |
for weddings and the like, whatever. Do NOT put yourself in the position of | |
handing out cash. Once you do, if you stop, you will be accused of being a | |
heartless bastard (or bitch). Trust me. It won't go well. | |
It will be easy to lose perspective. It is now the duty of your friends, | |
family, relatives, hangers-on, and their inner circle to skew your perspective, | |
and they take this job quite seriously. Setting up a trust, a managed fund for | |
your family that is in the double-digit millions is AMAZINGLY generous. You | |
need never have trouble sleeping because you didn't lend Uncle Jerry $20,000 | |
in small denomination unmarked bills to start his chain of deep-fried peanut | |
butter pancake restaurants. ("Deep'n 'nutter Restaurants") Your attorney | |
will have a number of good ideas on how to parse this wealth out without | |
turning your siblings/spouse/children/grandchildren/cousins/waitresses into | |
the latest Paris Hilton. | |
4. You will be encouraged to hire an investment manager. | |
Considerable pressure will be applied. Don't. | |
Investment managers charge fees, usually a percentage of assets. | |
Consider this: If they charge 1% (which is low, I doubt you could | |
find this deal, actually) they have to beat the market by 1% every | |
year just to break even with a general market index fund. It is | |
not worth it, and you don't need the extra return or the extra | |
risk. Go for the index fund instead if you must invest in stocks. | |
This is a hard rule to follow. They will come recommended by | |
friends. They will come recommended by family. They will be your | |
second cousin on your mother's side. Investment managers will sound | |
smart. They will have lots of cool acronyms. They will have nice | |
PowerPoint presentations. They might (MIGHT) pay for your shrimp | |
cocktail lunch at TGI Friday's while reminding you how poor their | |
side of the family is. They live for this stuff. | |
You should smile, thank them for their time, and then tell them you | |
will get back to them next week. Don't sign ANYTHING. Don't write it | |
on a cocktail napkin (lottery lawsuit cases have been won and lost | |
over drunkenly scrawled cocktail napkin addition and subtraction | |
figures with lots of zeros on them). Never call them back. Trust me. | |
You will thank me later. This tactic, smiling, thanking people for | |
their time, and promising to get back to people, is going to have to | |
become familiar. You will have to learn to say no gently, without | |
saying the word "no." It sounds underhanded. Sneaky. It is. And it's | |
part of your new survival strategy. I mean the word "survival" quite | |
literally. | |
Get all this figured out BEFORE you claim your winnings. They aren't | |
going anywhere. Just relax. | |
5. Paranoia | |
If you elect to be more global about your paranoia, use between 20.00% | |
and 33.00% of what you have not decided to commit to a family fund | |
IMMEDIATELY to purchase a combination of longer-term U.S. treasuries | |
(5 or 10 years are a good idea) and perhaps even another G7 treasury | |
instrument. This is your safety net. You will be protected...from | |
yourself. | |
You are going to be really tempted to starting being a big investor. | |
You are going to be convinced that you can double your money in Vegas | |
with your awesome Roulette system/by funding your friend's amazing idea | |
to sell Lemming dung/buying land for oil drilling/by shorting the North | |
Pole Ice market (global warming, you know). This all sounds tempting | |
because "Even if I lose it all I still have $XX million left! Anyone | |
could live on that comfortably for the rest of their life." Yeah, | |
except for 33% of everyone who won the lottery. | |
You're not going to double your money, so cool it. Let me say that | |
again. You're not going to double your money, so cool it. Right now, | |
you'll get around 3.5% on the 10 years U.S. treasury. With $18.2 million | |
(20% of $91.2 mil after your absurdly generous family gift) invested in | |
those, you will pull down $638,400 per year. If everything else blows up, | |
you still have that, and you will be in the top 1% of income in the United | |
States. So how about you not fuck with it. Eh? And that's income that is | |
damn safe. If we get to the point where the United States defaults on those | |
instruments, we are in far worse shape than worrying about money. | |
If you are really paranoid, you might consider picking another G7 or otherwise | |
mainstream country other than the U.S. according to where you want to live in | |
the United States dissolves into anarchy or Britney Spears is elected to the | |
United States Senate. Put some fraction in something like Swiss Government | |
Bonds at 3%. If the Swiss stop paying on their government debt, well, then | |
you know money really means nothing anywhere on the globe anymore. I'd | |
study small field sustainable agriculture if you think this is a possibility. | |
You might have to start feeding yourself. | |
6. That leaves, say, 80% of $91.2 million or $72.9 million. | |
Here is where things start to get less clear. Personally, I think you | |
should dump half of this, or $36.4 million, into a boring S&P 500 index fund. | |
Find something with low fees. You are going to be constantly tempted to | |
retain "sophisticated" advisers who charge "nominal fees." Don't. Period. | |
Even if you lose every other dime, you have $638,400 per year you didn't | |
have before that will keep coming in until the United States falls into chaos. | |
Fuck advisers and their fees. Instead, drop your $36.4 million in the market | |
in a low fee vehicle. Unless we have an unprecedented downturn the likes of | |
which the United States has never seen, should return around 7.00% or so over | |
the next 10 years. You should expect to touch not even a dime of this money | |
for 10 or 15 or even 20 years. In 20 years $36.4 million could easily become | |
$115 million. | |
7. So you have put a safety net in place. | |
You have provided for your family beyond your wildest dreams. And you still | |
have $36.4 million in "cash." You know you will be getting $638,400 per year | |
unless the capital building is burning, you don't ever need to give anyone | |
you care about cash, since they are provided for generously and responsibly | |
(and can't blow it in Vegas) and you have a HUGE nest egg that is growing at | |
market rates. (Given the recent dip, you'll be buying in at great prices for | |
the market). What now? Whatever you want. Go ahead and burn through $36.4 | |
million in hookers and blow if you want. You've got more security than 99% of the | |
country. A lot of it is in Trusts so even if you are sued your family will live | |
well, and progress across generations. If your lawyer is worth his salt (I bet he | |
is) then you will be insulated from most lawsuits anyhow. Buy a nice house or two, | |
make sure they aren't stupid investments though. Go ahead and be an angel investor | |
and fund some startups, but REFUSE to do it for anyone you know. (Friends and money, | |
oil and water - Michael Corleone) Play. Have fun. You earned it by putting together | |
the shoe sizes of your whole family on one ticket and winning the jackpot. | |
/u/nreshackleford adds: | |
I might add that if your state requires disclosure of the winner: | |
1. Sign the ticket, and make multiple xerox copies. Store the ticket and the | |
copies in separate safe deposit boxes (in separate banks, jackass). | |
2. Unless signed, the ticket is "bearer paper" and belongs to literally whoever | |
is holding it (at least that's the language on the back of all the tickets I've | |
ever bought). You will now want to form a trust or other legal fiction. | |
3. Sign the ticket over to the legal fiction (trust, LLC, whatever your fancy lawyer | |
tells you is best) by special endorsement. | |
4. Have a representative of the legal fiction collect the prize money. | |
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