Tale of The Table Maker --- a code poem by JWL (nemesisfixx)

code_poem--the-table-craftsman--JWL.js

/*********************** Tale of The Table Maker  **********************
 ***********************************************************************
 * CODE POET: nemesisfixx
 ***********************************************************************
 *
 * Once, when presented with a box of obscure things,
 * and a style of table desired,
 * the craftsman had to do his magic on them, then 
 * hand back a brand-new table, ready to be used!
 *
 * It was such an arcane, exhilirating art,
 * known to none, but the hell-bent, stone-hearted
 * initiates of TOOTA, The Order of Thing-Alchemy.
 * 
 * However, Nixx the Poet came across their secret recipe,
 * Which he only reffered to as "the just code",
 * With which he performed these wonders for himself, using
 * just guts and arcane spells known to initiates as "procedure calls".
 *
 * In utter secrecy, he preserved the most important of their spells,
 * in outlandish prose stashed inside a vase labelled
 * "This Tool Shall Make Tables of Anything".
 * 
 **********************************************************************/
this.thisToolShallMakeTablesOfAnything = 
    function(box_of_things, tableStyleWanted) {
        // in the begining, there was no table, 
        // but, there was...
        var first_samples_from_box_of_things = box_of_things[0];
        // and an empty idea of what the table shall look like from above..
        var the_table_top_stuff = []; 
        // then, voila!
        for (something in first_samples_from_box_of_things) {
            the_table_top_stuff.push(something);
        }
        // we can make a table rite won!
        var theTable = $('<table/>')
          , partTableTop = $('<thead/>')
          , partTableBase = $('<tbody/>')
          , partTableTopSection = $('<tr/>');
        // in the style desired, yes!
        if (tableStyleWanted)
            theTable.addClass(tableStyleWanted);
        // starting with the top? Anha..
        for (part in the_table_top_stuff) {
            partTableTopSection.append($('<th/>', {
                'class': the_table_top_stuff[part]
            }).text(the_table_top_stuff[part]));
        }
        // Ready the table's top already.
        partTableTop.append(partTableTopSection)

        /********************************************
         * WAIT: welcome to table craftsmanship 101
         * *****************************************/

        // However, the devil is in the guts of it...
        for (element in box_of_things) {
            // Make several conjurations on things and hold breath...
            var thing = box_of_things[element];
            var partTableBaseSection = $('<tr/>');
            for (part in the_table_top_stuff) {
                var thing_inside_thing = thing[the_table_top_stuff[part]];
                if(
                    (thing_inside_thing != undefined) 
                    && isBEAN(thing_inside_thing)
                ){
                    // give special attention bean-like-stuff... gooey!
                    partTableBaseSection.append($('<td/>', {
                        'class': the_table_top_stuff[part]
                    }).append(
                        $('<iframe/>', 
                            {
                                'src': thing_inside_thing, 
                                'frameborder': 0, 
                                'style': 'width:100%; height:321px'
                            })));
                }else {
                    partTableBaseSection.append($('<td/>', {
                        'class': the_table_top_stuff[part]
                    }).text(thing_inside_thing));
                }
            }
            partTableBase.append(partTableBaseSection)
        }

        // Yippie! We've conjurred the table's base!
        // Already all ready!
        // Heck, like pizza, just add the top to the base and...
        theTable.append(partTableTop).append(partTableBase)

        // Guessed right, 
        // theTable is a perfectly finished Table!
        // So, let's hand it over...
        return theTable; 
}