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Tale of The Table Maker --- a code poem by JWL (nemesisfixx)
/*********************** Tale of The Table Maker **********************
* CODE POET: nemesisfixx
* Once, when presented with a box of obscure things,
* and a style of table desired,
* the craftsman had to do his magic on them, then
* hand back a brand-new table, ready to be used!
* It was such an arcane, exhilirating art,
* known to none, but the hell-bent, stone-hearted
* initiates of TOOTA, The Order of Thing-Alchemy.
* However, Nixx the Poet came across their secret recipe,
* Which he only reffered to as "the just code",
* With which he performed these wonders for himself, using
* just guts and arcane spells known to initiates as "procedure calls".
* In utter secrecy, he preserved the most important of their spells,
* in outlandish prose stashed inside a vase labelled
* "This Tool Shall Make Tables of Anything".
this.thisToolShallMakeTablesOfAnything =
function(box_of_things, tableStyleWanted) {
// in the begining, there was no table,
// but, there was...
var first_samples_from_box_of_things = box_of_things[0];
// and an empty idea of what the table shall look like from above..
var the_table_top_stuff = [];
// then, voila!
for (something in first_samples_from_box_of_things) {
// we can make a table rite won!
var theTable = $('<table/>')
, partTableTop = $('<thead/>')
, partTableBase = $('<tbody/>')
, partTableTopSection = $('<tr/>');
// in the style desired, yes!
if (tableStyleWanted)
// starting with the top? Anha..
for (part in the_table_top_stuff) {
partTableTopSection.append($('<th/>', {
'class': the_table_top_stuff[part]
// Ready the table's top already.
* WAIT: welcome to table craftsmanship 101
* *****************************************/
// However, the devil is in the guts of it...
for (element in box_of_things) {
// Make several conjurations on things and hold breath...
var thing = box_of_things[element];
var partTableBaseSection = $('<tr/>');
for (part in the_table_top_stuff) {
var thing_inside_thing = thing[the_table_top_stuff[part]];
(thing_inside_thing != undefined)
&& isBEAN(thing_inside_thing)
// give special attention bean-like-stuff... gooey!
partTableBaseSection.append($('<td/>', {
'class': the_table_top_stuff[part]
'src': thing_inside_thing,
'frameborder': 0,
'style': 'width:100%; height:321px'
}else {
partTableBaseSection.append($('<td/>', {
'class': the_table_top_stuff[part]
// Yippie! We've conjurred the table's base!
// Already all ready!
// Heck, like pizza, just add the top to the base and...
// Guessed right,
// theTable is a perfectly finished Table!
// So, let's hand it over...
return theTable;
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