The Book of Esther opens with a seemingly bizarre story.
Ahasuerus (Xerxes I) is feasting with his ministers and asks his queen to come and show off her beauty. The queen refuses and in a rage Ahasuerus has her banished and decrees that all men should speak their own language, to better rule in their homes.
There seems to be little connection between the goal, that men should be rulers in their homes, and this decree. However groundbreaking archeological research by Dr. Icke helps us explain this connection, as well as many other smaller mysteries throughout the rest of the book.
Historians now believe that following his defeat by the Greeks, Xerxes returned to Persia in a paranoiac state, convinced that many of his closest confidantes were actually Anunnaki in disguise seeking to overthrow his regime. However nothing in the historical record indicates why he came to believe this.
Only by combining the words of the Book of Esther with these archeological facts can explain we both of these things so beautifully.
We know that the reason Queen Vashti refused to come before the king was some combination of flaking skin and the appearance of a tail. Faced with the evidence of his eyes and encouraged by his advisor Memuchan, Ahasuerus came to believe that large segments of the Persian noblewomen had been replaced by shapeshifting reptoids who had learned Persian and were trying to manipulate their husbands to take power.
In a desparate attempt to stop this, he ordered that all households speak their own language and banished Vashti in disgrace.
However throughout the rest of the Book Of Esther, we can find echoes of his lingering paranoia.
Why did all women in his harem need to go through a 12 month process of being annointed with oils and perfumes? That is clearly excessive for any beauty regimen. Instead the goal was to isolate these women while exposing them to substances known to the state of Shushan to cause cancer in reptoids.
Before Esther could approach the king uninvited, she had to further prove herself as a human. By fasting for three days and nights she demonstrated that the stress did not cause her to molt her skin, and by feasting with the king and Haman she demonstrated that, unlike Vashti, her shape remained intact after heavy feasting.
This fact can also explain Ahaserus's confusion about the decree against the Jews. When Haman came to him, talking about a certain strange nation scattered in his kingdom, the king naturally assumed that Haman was talking about these reptoid people. Desparate for any chance to rid himself of these lizard people the king agreed readily without asking many questions.
It was only Esther, who had proven herself completely non-reptilian, who was able to convince the king of his awful mistake and get him to reverse the decree.
In order to commemorate this, our celebration of Purim is devoted to acts which demonstrate that we are not shapeshifting reptoids.
- By wearing costumes and masks, we show that unlike the reptoids we need artificial means to disguise ourselves.
- By getting completely wasted, we demonstrate that even when drunk we retain our human form.
- By distributing and sharing baskets of food, we demonstrate that we are unconcerned with unfamiliar foods which may contain reptoid toxins.
Have a Festive and Happy Purim.