Demotivational Scale

gistfile1.txt

// include the library
#include <LiquidCrystal.h>

// init the lcd display according to the circuit
LiquidCrystal lcd(8, 9, 4, 5, 6, 7);

//variables for weight
int weight = 0;
int val = 0;
String insult = "";

// it's a 16x2 LCD so...
int screenWidth = 16;
int screenHeight = 2;

// the two lines
// line1 = scrolling
String line1 = insult;
// line2 = static
String weightDisplay = String(weight) + " ish pounds";

// just some reference flags
int stringStart, stringStop = 0;
int scrollCursor = screenWidth;

// most of the part is pretty basic
void setup() {
  lcd.begin(screenWidth,screenHeight);
}

void loop() {
  //scrolling text stuff by this guy http://bit.ly/1RoUXTd
  lcd.setCursor(scrollCursor, 0);
  lcd.print(line1.substring(stringStart,stringStop));
  lcd.setCursor(0, 1);
  lcd.print(weightDisplay);
  delay(300);
  lcd.clear();
  if(stringStart == 0 && scrollCursor > 0){
    scrollCursor--;
    stringStop++;
  } 
  else if (stringStart == stringStop){
    stringStart = stringStop = 0;
    scrollCursor = screenWidth;
  } 
  else if (stringStop == line1.length() && scrollCursor == 0) {
    stringStart++;
  } 
  else {
    stringStart++;
    stringStop++;
  }

  //weight checking stuff
  val = analogRead(4);
  do
  {
    //checks for the weight when there is no pressure on the scale
    delay (50);
    val = analogRead(4);
    weight = (val - 512) * 13;
    //updates the weight on the lcd
    weightDisplay = String(weight) + " ish pounds";

    if (weight < 90)
    {
      line1 = "What is this a scale for ants?";
    }

    else if (weight == 91)
    {
      line1 = "You're so fat you have more rolls than a bakery";
    }

    else if (weight == 104)
    {
      line1 = "Damn how long have you been pregnant for?";
    }

    else if (weight == 117)
    {
      line1 = "When you stood on the scale I though my phone number popped up";
    }

    else if (weight == 130)
    {
      line1 = "You're not big boned, you're just fat";
    }
    
    else if (weight == 143)
    {
      line1= "Want to look thinner? Hang out with fat people.";
    }
    
    else if (weight == 156)
    {
      line1 = "You're in shape, just not the right one";    
    }
    
    else if (weight == 169)
    {
      line1 = "Fat people are harder to kidnap";
    }
    
    else if (weight == 182)
    {
      line1 = "Even your double chin has a double chin";
    }
    
    else if (weight == 195)
    {
      line1 = "Your couble chin has a double chin";    
    }
    
    else if (weight >= 208)
    {
      line1 = "Can't.. Breathe...";
    }

  } 
  while (val <= 512)  ;
}