EDIT: solved -_-'
Etsy's statsd. Halp.
> node stats.js
/Users/narf/sandbox/statsd/config.js:33
{ graphitePort: 2003, graphiteHost: "localhost", port: 8125 }
^
node.js:201
throw e; // process.nextTick error, or 'error' event on first tick
^
SyntaxError: Unexpected token :
at Module._compile (module.js:429:25)
at Object..js (module.js:459:10)
at Module.load (module.js:348:31)
at Function._load (module.js:308:12)
at Module.require (module.js:354:17)
at require (module.js:370:17)
at Object.<anonymous> (/Users/narf/sandbox/statsd/stats.js:4:14)
at Module._compile (module.js:441:26)
at Object..js (module.js:459:10)
at Module.load (module.js:348:31)
> node --version 1
v0.6.12