timeteller.py

#!/usr/bin/env python
import os
import sys
import time
import random
messages = {
	0:	"It is Midnight! And that's all",
	1:	"It's 1 o'clock and the weather outside is fine. Do you wanna go out for a walk?", 
	6:	"A third of the number of the beast o'clock",
}
generics = [
	"Let's get back to bed boy! %d o'clock already",
	"%d hours. Oh, how I hate saying hours",
	"It's %d o'clock and I am a stupid laptop",
	"I am a stupid stupid laptop at %d o'clock",
	"It is %d o'clock",
	"Get off me, it's already %d o'clock. Go find another toy",
	"Such a shock, it's %d o'clock",
]
hour = time.localtime().tm_hour if len(sys.argv) < 2 else int(sys.argv[1])
small_hour = hour if hour <= 12 else hour - 12
os.system('say %s' % messages.get(hour, random.choice(generics) % small_hour).replace("'", "\\'"))

I've heard that one a few times