For the parts of this that sound like there’s not hope or you can’t change anything – most of this talk is using the baseline of no treatment/no meds. That is, if you do nothing, then don’t expect a change.
ADHD is a developmental disability. It’s age inappropriate behavior, not abnormal behavior. It’s a delay of a normal trait. By early 30s’, these traits level off for the normal personal, but the ADHD person will always be behind. Without help/meds, the ADHD person is 30% behind their age on average. (10 real age = 7 executive age, 18 = 12, 21 = 14, 30 = 20)
First deficit is inappropriate inhibition. Not suppressing behaviors (motor and verbal), but it’s also not suppressing emotions, snap anger, impatience, quick decision making, not delaying to consider consequences.