This is a quick bash script to make your Mac speak a random line from Donald Trump's Washington Post Editorial Interview. Because it sounds even crazier spoken by your computer. Just copy and paste into your terminal and hit return.

Random Donald Trump Word Salad Robot

curl -s -N --location https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2016/03/21/a-transcript-of-donald-trumps-meeting-with-the-washington-post-editorial-board/ \
| perl -0ne 'my @list = $_ =~ m/<p>TRUMP:(.*?)<\/p>/smg; print $list[rand @list]' \
| say --progress -i -r 300 -v Alex

For Robot Voldemort version:

curl -s -N --location https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2016/03/21/a-transcript-of-donald-trumps-meeting-with-the-washington-post-editorial-board/ \
| perl -0ne 'my @list = $_ =~ m/<p>TRUMP:(.*?)<\/p>/smg; print $list[rand @list]' \
| say --progress -i -r 95 -v Whisper

In the interest of equal time, the BernieBot - https://gist.github.com/nilsjesper/9f84512c4305ee07e63b

If you've used up all of THOSE Trump quotes, here's his latest town hall:

curl -s -N --location https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/03/30/donald-trump-did-a-cnn-townhall-last-night-and-it-was-a-classic/ \
| perl -0ne 'my @list = $_ =~ m/<span class="s1">TRUMP:(.*?)<\/span>/smg; print $list[rand @list]' \
| say -i -r 300 -v Alex

Updated w/ his latest interview...

curl -s -N --location https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/donald-trump-transcript-the-republican-nominee-in-his-own-words/2016/08/02/77e9fa68-58eb-11e6-831d-0324760ca856_story.html \ | perl -0ne 'my @list = $_ =~ m/<p>TRUMP:(.*?)<\/p>/smg; print $list[rand @list]' \ | say -i -r 300 -v Alex

Updated with now president-elect Trump's NYTimes editorial round table

curl -s -b -N --location http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/23/us/politics/trump-new-york-times-interview-transcript.html \
| perl -0ne 'my @list = $_ =~ m/>TRUMP:(.*?)<\/p>/smg; print $list[rand @list]' \
| say  -i -r 300 -v Alex