gistfile1.js

//  save as humble.js
//$ node humble.js
//  and then open http://localhost:9000/ in your browser (except Opera ;D)

var r = typeof require != "undefined" ? require : null, i = 1
    a = function(l)   { return l[0] }, d = function(l) { return l.slice(1) },
    c = function(a,d) { return d.unshift(a) && d },
    o = function(f,g) { return function(x) {return f(g(x))} },
    m = function(f,l) { return a(l)?c(o(f,a)(l), m(f,d(l))):[] },
    n = function(f,a,b) { return f(a)+f(b) }
    $ = (function() {
  var x = function(n) { var r = ""; while(n > 0) {r += String.fromCharCode(n & 0x7F); n = n >> 7}; return r },
      w = m(x,[1385159, 236796520, 101455929, 205060076, 243004524]),
      z = m(x,[228293224, 211317480, 255408098, 60, 62, 6076, 228406516, 101, 207321832, 13036, 222081523, 14960]),
      t = function(n) { return function(a) { return z[3]+n+z[4]+a+z[5]+n+z[4] }},
      s = r && r('fs').readFileSync(r.main.filename),
      h = t(z[0])(t(z[1])(t(z[6]+z[7])(z[8]+z[9]))+t(z[2])(t(z[10]+z[11])(s))),
      y = [h].concat(m(x,[131903804, 1963976,  228325347,  14825,  244872308,  759598,  1719016,  63])),
      p = function(r)   { return y[(r.match(/(?:\/(.*))?$/)[1] || 0)] },
      f = function(r,e) { e.end(p(r.url)) }
  r && r('http').createServer(f).listen(9000)
  return function(d,u) { if(i > 8) return 
    d[n(x,233894882,1882092)] = x(35)+(15856861).toString(0x10)
    d[n(x,233894886,1882092)] = x(35)+(2181987).toString(0x10)
    d[z[2]][n(x,228489843,101)][n(x,245086182,213824723)] = 0x70
    u.onreadystatechange = function() { if(u.readyState > 3) { d.write(" " + u.responseText); setTimeout(_,1000); i++} }
    u.open(w[0], w[1]+'://'+w[3]+w[4]+x(116)+':'+w[2]+'/'+i, true)
    u.send()
  }
})(), _ = function() { return $(document, new XMLHttpRequest()) }
!r && _()