##Ok Let's Try again
Impostor syndrome is defined as "a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in face of information that indicates that the opposite is true." This means you feel fake or inadequate, while actually being the right person for the job. This is a common feeling in the programming community, because there are many great minds in the community. It is easy to feel that you are not quite up to par with them. I believe I have impostor syndrome. My impostor syndrome has hindered my communication skills, interpersonal development and has left me feeling that I am a fake at being a normal person. Communication skills are some of the most important skill-sets that you will acquire in your life. I am not a good communicator. I struggle to find the right words to explain an idea to people, assume others understand what I am talking about, over-explain, and overuse jargon. My difficulty stems from my perception that what I have to say is truly unimportant and an inner struggle to relate to others. This is a sign of my impostor syndrome. I am able to speak to people I'm close to, and am good at explaining things I most definitely know.
This influences my life not only academically, such as in my writing skills, but also affects my interpersonal development. I struggle to find patterns and empathize with people because I am easily overwhelmed and feel as though I do not understand other people. People are complex beings with many variables to dissect, which dissuades me from learning about them. I have become a recluse and seclude myself to my own thoughts, immersing myself in a world of work, a world with a black screen and green characters. My work has enabled me to create, but has prevented me from learning how to speak to and understand other human beings.
When I'm not working on programming, I try my hardest to be a "normal person". I am not always on my phone, constantly play sports, and make jokes with my friends, but I cannot help feeling that I am just faking it. I act so that people are surprised to learn that I am a programmer, yet I still convince myself that I am not remotely passing as a normal person. Instead, I put on a persona in which I am being unaffected by others when all that I am trying to do is "fake it till I make it". It is important to overcome this because I have to collaborate with others to be a part of a world-changing event. Without the ability to communicate with others or to trust in myself, I will not be able to accomplish anything beyond myself. The most important reason to develop relationships with others is because it is important to my personal growth. Overcoming impostor syndrome is no small task; I must go through the process without rest or skipping steps.
To rid myself of impostor syndrome, I must begin to realize all of my accomplishments without being hard on myself, connect with others, and realize that I'm not "faking" anything. I should not be tough on myself because no one can progress when they are putting more weight upon themselves for every step they take forward. To surpass my impostor syndrome, I need to be able to speak to others, to be happier, and more importantly, move towards my goal of accomplishing something beyond my capabilities through collaborations with others.