A Meme regarding Hands and Fingers translated to SQL LOL

HandsAndFingersMeme.sql

/**
 * A Meme regarding Hands and Fingers translated to SQL LOL
 * - MySQL v7.4.13
 */

/**
 * Create Database
 */
CREATE DATABASE IF NOT EXISTS `hands_fingers_meme`
  CHARACTER SET `utf8mb4`
  COLLATE `utf8mb4_unicode_ci`
;

USE `hands_fingers_meme`;

/**
 * Create Tables
 */
CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS `hands` (
  `id` INT UNSIGNED NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,
  `name` VARCHAR(32) NOT NULL,
  PRIMARY KEY (`id`)
);

CREATE TABLE IF NOT EXISTS `fingers` (
  `id` INT UNSIGNED NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT,  
  `name` VARCHAR(32) NOT NULL,
  `number` TINYINT(1) UNSIGNED NOT NULL,
  `hand_id` INT UNSIGNED NOT NULL,
  PRIMARY KEY (`id`),
  FOREIGN KEY (`hand_id`) REFERENCES `hands` (`id`)
);

/**
 * Populate Data
 */
INSERT INTO `hands`(`name`)
VALUES
('right'),
('left')
;

INSERT INTO `fingers`(`name`, `number`, `hand_id`)
VALUES
('thumb', 1, 1),
('index', 2, 1),
('middle', 3, 1),
('ring', 4, 1),
('pinky', 5, 1),
('thumb', 1, 2),
('index', 2, 2),
('middle', 3, 2),
('ring', 4, 2),
('pinky', 5, 2)
;

/**
 * Create Helper Function
 */
DROP FUNCTION IF EXISTS ucfirst;

DELIMITER $$
CREATE FUNCTION ucfirst(str_value VARCHAR(5000))
RETURNS VARCHAR(5000)
DETERMINISTIC
BEGIN
    RETURN CONCAT(
      UCASE(LEFT(str_value, 1)), SUBSTRING(str_value, 2)
    );
END
$$
DELIMITER ;

/**
 * Queries
 */
-- Query Sample 1
SELECT
  ucfirst(`hands`.`name`) AS `Hand`,
  ucfirst(`fingers`.`name`) AS `Finger`
FROM `hands`
  INNER JOIN `fingers`
    ON `hands`.`id` = `fingers`.`hand_id`
  WHERE `hands`.`id` = 1
    AND `fingers`.`number` = 3
;
-- Query Sample 2
SELECT
  CONCAT(ucfirst(`hands`.`name`), ' Hand ', ucfirst(`fingers`.`name`), ' Finger') AS `Result`
FROM `hands`
  INNER JOIN `fingers`
    ON `hands`.`id` = `fingers`.`hand_id`
  WHERE `hands`.`id` = 1
    AND `fingers`.`number` = 3
;

meme-hands-and-fingers-sql-results.jpg