delaysquawk.sh

#!/bin/sh
#
# requires httpie

while /bin/true
do
  http --timeout 1 HEAD http://ocean.collinvandyck.com > /dev/null 2>&1

  case "$?"
  2)
    /usr/bin/say -v cello lag lag lag
    ;;
  1)
    /usr/bin/say -v cello ack error
    ;;
  default)
    ;;
  esac

  sleep 1
done