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@orf
Last active March 26, 2019 14:57
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Don't worry, that value is only wrong half of the time
The unit test doesn't cover that eventuality
There was too little data to bother with the extra functionality at the time
I thought you signed off on that?
The program has never collected that information
That's interesting, how did you manage to make it do that?
Your browser must be caching the old content
Our internet connection must not be working
I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere online
I thought I fixed that
The marketing department made us put that there
Somebody must have changed my code
Maybe somebody forgot to pay our hosting company
That was literally a one in a million error
There's currently a problem with our hosting company
I'm not sure as I've never had a look at how that works before
The accounting department must have cancelled that subscription
I'll have to fix that at a later date
I didn't anticipate that I would make any errors
That process requires human oversight that nobody was providing
It worked yesterday
It's a third party application issue
It works, but it's not been tested
Well done, you found my easter egg!
That's already fixed it just hasn't taken effect yet
Well, that's a first
I'm still working on that as we speak
It's always been like that
It's a known bug with the programming language
The code is compiling
It must be because of a leap year
That's not a bug it's a configuration issue
Our code quality is no worse than anyone else in the industry
I haven't touched that code in weeks
I can't make that a priority right now
The problem seems to be with our legacy software
The person responsible doesn't work here anymore
Well at least we know not to try that again
The existing design makes it difficult to do the right thing
The download must have been corrupted
Oh, that was only supposed to be a placeholder
Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
It works for me
How is that possible?
It's a known bug with the server software
It must be because of a leap second
It would have taken twice as long to build it properly
Did you check for a virus on your system?
The request must have dropped some packets
I thought I finished that
I broke that deliberately to do some testing
My time was split in a way that meant I couldn't do either project properly
There must be something strange in your data
Oh, that was just a temporary fix
Everything looks fine my end
It's never shown unexpected behaviour like this before
It's just some unlucky coincidence
The client wanted it changed at the last minute
We outsourced that months ago
It was working in my head
I couldn't find any examples of how that can be done anywhere else in the project
Why do you want to do it that way?
You must have done something wrong
Our hardware is too slow to cope with demand
What did I tell you about using parts of the system you don't understand?
I haven't had the chance to run that code yet
We should have updated our software years ago
That important email must have been marked as spam
You're doing it wrong
Well, at least it displays a very pretty error
The WYSIWYG must have produced an invalid output
That feature was slated for phase two
Where were you when the program blew up?
I'm not getting any error codes
The original specification contained conflicting requirements
You must be missing some of the dependencies
There were too many developers working on that same thing
I told you yesterday it would be done by the end of today
It would take too long to rewrite the code from scratch
Management insisted we wouldn't need to waste our time writing unit tests
Nobody has ever complained about it
I usually get a notification when that happens
I was told to stop working on that when something important came up
I was just fixing that
That behaviour is in the original specification
Our redundant systems must have failed as well
That feature would be outside of the scope
That error means it was successful
The third party API is not responding
It can't be broken, it passes all unit tests
I have never seen that before in my life
I haven't been able to reproduce that
I couldn't find any library that can even do that
THIS can't be the source of THAT
I must not have understood what you were asking for
The user must not know how to use it
That isn't covered by my job description
We spent three months debugging it because we only had one month to build it
You must have the wrong version
The third party documentation doesn't exist
I'm surprised it works as well as it does
I can't test everything
That's the fault of the graphic designer
It probably won't happen again
The third party documentation is wrong
I had to do the project backwards as people demanded results out of order
This is a previously known bug you told me not to work on yet
Nobody asked me how long it would actually take
Actually, that's a feature
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