reproducible_example.R

# packages ----

if (!require("pacman")) install.packages("pacman")
p_load(data.table, tidyr, tidytext, dplyr, ggplot2, viridis, ggstance, igraph, ggraph)
p_load_gh("dgrtwo/widyr")

# tidy ----

rick_and_morty_subs <- as_tibble(fread("rick_and_morty_subs_s01.csv")) %>% 
  mutate(text = iconv(text, to = "ASCII")) %>% 
  drop_na()

rick_and_morty_subs_tidy <- rick_and_morty_subs %>% 
  unnest_tokens(word,text) %>% 
  anti_join(stop_words)

# sentiment ----

rick_and_morty_sentiment <- rick_and_morty_subs_tidy %>%
  inner_join(sentiments) %>% 
  count(episode_name, index = linenumber %/% 50, sentiment) %>% 
  spread(sentiment, n, fill = 0) %>% 
  mutate(sentiment = positive - negative) %>%
  left_join(rick_and_morty_subs_tidy[,c("episode_name","season","episode")] %>% distinct()) %>% 
  arrange(season,episode) %>% 
  mutate(episode_name = paste(season,episode,"-",episode_name),
         season = factor(season, labels = c("Season 1"))) %>% 
  select(episode_name, season, everything(), -episode)

# words ----

rick_and_morty_words <- rick_and_morty_subs_tidy %>%
  filter(season == "S01")

word_cooccurences <- rick_and_morty_words %>%
  pairwise_count(word, linenumber, sort = TRUE)

rick_and_morty_subs_s01.csv

linenumber,timecode_in,timecode_out,text,season,episode,episode_name
1,00:00:00.720,00:00:02.595,[ footsteps approaching ],S01,E01,Pilot
2,00:00:02.720,00:00:03.225,">> rick: morty, you got to come",S01,E01,Pilot
3,00:00:03.350,00:00:03.825,on.,S01,E01,Pilot
4,00:00:03.950,00:00:04.765,you got to come with me.,S01,E01,Pilot
5,00:00:04.890,00:00:05.765,>> morty: what's going on?,S01,E01,Pilot
6,00:00:05.890,00:00:06.565,>> rick: i got a surprise for,S01,E01,Pilot
7,00:00:06.690,00:00:07.295,"you, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
8,00:00:07.420,00:00:08.195,>> morty: it's the middle of the,S01,E01,Pilot
9,00:00:08.320,00:00:08.925,night.,S01,E01,Pilot
10,00:00:09.050,00:00:09.495,>> rick: i got a surprise for,S01,E01,Pilot
11,00:00:09.620,00:00:09.965,you.,S01,E01,Pilot
12,00:00:10.090,00:00:10.965,>> morty: ow!,S01,E01,Pilot
13,00:00:11.090,00:00:12.195,ow! you're tugging me too hard.,S01,E01,Pilot
14,00:00:12.320,00:00:13.365,>> rick: i got a surprise for,S01,E01,Pilot
15,00:00:13.490,00:00:14.195,"you, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
16,00:00:17.050,00:00:18.165,what do you [burps] what do you,S01,E01,Pilot
17,00:00:18.290,00:00:19.165,"think of this flying vehicle,",S01,E01,Pilot
18,00:00:19.290,00:00:19.925,morty?,S01,E01,Pilot
19,00:00:20.050,00:00:20.895,i built it out of stuff i found,S01,E01,Pilot
20,00:00:21.020,00:00:21.925,in the garage.,S01,E01,Pilot
21,00:00:22.050,00:00:22.795,">> morty: yeah, rick, it's",S01,E01,Pilot
22,00:00:22.920,00:00:23.625,it's great.,S01,E01,Pilot
23,00:00:23.750,00:00:24.925,is this the surprise?,S01,E01,Pilot
24,00:00:25.050,00:00:26.325,">> rick: morty, i had to i",S01,E01,Pilot
25,00:00:26.450,00:00:27.895,had to do i had to i had,S01,E01,Pilot
26,00:00:28.020,00:00:28.865,"to i had to make a bomb,",S01,E01,Pilot
27,00:00:28.990,00:00:29.795,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
28,00:00:29.920,00:00:30.695,i had to create a bomb.,S01,E01,Pilot
29,00:00:30.820,00:00:31.625,>> morty: what?! a bomb?!,S01,E01,Pilot
30,00:00:31.750,00:00:32.595,>> rick: we're gonna drop it,S01,E01,Pilot
31,00:00:32.720,00:00:33.495,down there just get a whole,S01,E01,Pilot
32,00:00:33.620,00:00:34.195,"fresh start, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
33,00:00:34.320,00:00:35.225,create a whole fresh start.,S01,E01,Pilot
34,00:00:35.350,00:00:35.825,>> morty: t-t-that's absolutely,S01,E01,Pilot
35,00:00:35.950,00:00:36.625,crazy!,S01,E01,Pilot
36,00:00:36.750,00:00:37.495,">> rick: come on, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
37,00:00:37.620,00:00:38.095,"just take it easy, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
38,00:00:38.220,00:00:39.165,it's gonna be good.,S01,E01,Pilot
39,00:00:39.290,00:00:40.565,"right now, we're gonna go pick",S01,E01,Pilot
40,00:00:40.690,00:00:41.565,up your little friend jessica.,S01,E01,Pilot
41,00:00:41.690,00:00:42.425,>> morty: jessica?,S01,E01,Pilot
42,00:00:42.550,00:00:43.365,from my math class?,S01,E01,Pilot
43,00:00:43.490,00:00:44.795,">> rick: when i drop the bomb, i",S01,E01,Pilot
44,00:00:44.920,00:00:46.565,"don't you know, i want you to",S01,E01,Pilot
45,00:00:46.690,00:00:47.725,"have somebody, you know i",S01,E01,Pilot
46,00:00:47.850,00:00:48.825,want you to have the thing,S01,E01,Pilot
47,00:00:48.950,00:00:49.924,i'm gonna make it like a new,S01,E01,Pilot
48,00:00:50.049,00:00:50.725,"adam and eve, and you're gonna",S01,E01,Pilot
49,00:00:50.850,00:00:51.525,be adam.,S01,E01,Pilot
50,00:00:51.650,00:00:52.595,>> morty: [ groans ],S01,E01,Pilot
51,00:00:52.720,00:00:53.795,>> rick: and jessica's gonna be,S01,E01,Pilot
52,00:00:53.920,00:00:54.525,"eve, and so that's the surprise,",S01,E01,Pilot
53,00:00:54.650,00:00:55.165,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
54,00:00:55.290,00:00:56.265,">> morty: no, you can't!",S01,E01,Pilot
55,00:00:56.390,00:00:56.924,j-jessica doesn't even know i,S01,E01,Pilot
56,00:00:57.049,00:00:57.825,exist.,S01,E01,Pilot
57,00:00:57.950,00:00:58.924,but but but forget about,S01,E01,Pilot
58,00:00:59.049,00:00:59.665,"that, because you can't blow up",S01,E01,Pilot
59,00:00:59.790,00:01:00.525,humanity.,S01,E01,Pilot
60,00:01:00.650,00:01:01.465,>> rick: i-i get what you're,S01,E01,Pilot
61,00:01:01.590,00:01:02.295,"trying to say, m-morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
62,00:01:02.420,00:01:03.625,"listen, i'm not you don't",S01,E01,Pilot
63,00:01:03.750,00:01:04.765,y-y-you don't got to worry about,S01,E01,Pilot
64,00:01:04.890,00:01:05.894,me trying to fool around with,S01,E01,Pilot
65,00:01:06.019,00:01:06.825,with jessica or mess around with,S01,E01,Pilot
66,00:01:06.950,00:01:07.864,jessica or anything.,S01,E01,Pilot
67,00:01:07.989,00:01:08.595,"i'm i'm not that kind of guy,",S01,E01,Pilot
68,00:01:08.720,00:01:09.265,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
69,00:01:09.390,00:01:10.265,>> morty: what are you talking,S01,E01,Pilot
70,00:01:10.390,00:01:11.025,"about, rick?",S01,E01,Pilot
71,00:01:11.150,00:01:12.095,>> rick: you you you don't,S01,E01,Pilot
72,00:01:12.220,00:01:13.165,have to worry about me getting,S01,E01,Pilot
73,00:01:13.290,00:01:14.165,with jessica or anything.,S01,E01,Pilot
74,00:01:14.290,00:01:15.095,she she she she,S01,E01,Pilot
75,00:01:15.220,00:01:16.065,"she's all for you, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
76,00:01:16.190,00:01:16.724,>> morty: i don't care about,S01,E01,Pilot
77,00:01:16.849,00:01:17.595,jessica!,S01,E01,Pilot
78,00:01:17.720,00:01:18.495,">> rick: you know what, morty?",S01,E01,Pilot
79,00:01:18.620,00:01:19.165,you're right.,S01,E01,Pilot
80,00:01:19.290,00:01:19.894,let's forget the girl all,S01,E01,Pilot
81,00:01:20.019,00:01:20.765,together.,S01,E01,Pilot
82,00:01:20.890,00:01:21.765,she she's probably nothing,S01,E01,Pilot
83,00:01:21.890,00:01:22.694,"but trouble, anyways.",S01,E01,Pilot
84,00:01:22.819,00:01:24.095,>> arming neutrino bomb.,S01,E01,Pilot
85,00:01:24.220,00:01:24.765,>> morty: that's it that's,S01,E01,Pilot
86,00:01:24.890,00:01:25.525,"it, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
87,00:01:25.650,00:01:26.265,i'm taking the wheel.,S01,E01,Pilot
88,00:01:26.390,00:01:27.265,">> rick: get off of me, morty!",S01,E01,Pilot
89,00:01:27.390,00:01:28.125,>> morty: i'm taking charge of,S01,E01,Pilot
90,00:01:28.250,00:01:29.194,"this situation, buddy.",S01,E01,Pilot
91,00:01:29.319,00:01:30.224,>> rick: what's gotten into you?,S01,E01,Pilot
92,00:01:30.349,00:01:31.625,>> morty: i'm i'm i'm,S01,E01,Pilot
93,00:01:31.750,00:01:32.595,i'm not gonna stand around like,S01,E01,Pilot
94,00:01:32.720,00:01:33.665,some sort of dumb...,S01,E01,Pilot
95,00:01:33.790,00:01:34.724,">> rick: what are you, crazy?",S01,E01,Pilot
96,00:01:34.849,00:01:35.924,>> morty:... person and just,S01,E01,Pilot
97,00:01:36.049,00:01:37.095,let you blow up the whole world.,S01,E01,Pilot
98,00:01:37.220,00:01:38.065,">> rick: all right, all right.",S01,E01,Pilot
99,00:01:38.190,00:01:38.965,i'll i'll land.,S01,E01,Pilot
100,00:01:39.090,00:01:39.825,i'll land. i'll land.,S01,E01,Pilot
101,00:01:39.950,00:01:40.724,i'll land the thing.,S01,E01,Pilot
102,00:01:40.849,00:01:42.025,i'll land the thing.,S01,E01,Pilot
103,00:01:42.150,00:01:43.625,big tough guy all of a sudden.,S01,E01,Pilot
104,00:01:46.420,00:01:47.795,"we'll park it right here, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
105,00:01:47.920,00:01:48.694,right here on the s-side of the,S01,E01,Pilot
106,00:01:48.819,00:01:49.595,r-road here.,S01,E01,Pilot
107,00:01:49.720,00:01:50.625,">> morty: oh, thank god.",S01,E01,Pilot
108,00:01:50.750,00:01:51.694,>> rick: you know what?,S01,E01,Pilot
109,00:01:51.819,00:01:53.765,"that was all a test, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
110,00:01:53.890,00:01:55.724,just an elaborate test to make,S01,E01,Pilot
111,00:01:55.849,00:01:56.465,you more assertive.,S01,E01,Pilot
112,00:01:56.590,00:01:57.095,>> morty: it was?,S01,E01,Pilot
113,00:01:57.220,00:01:57.965,>> rick: sure. why not?,S01,E01,Pilot
114,00:01:58.090,00:01:58.995,i don't i don't know.,S01,E01,Pilot
115,00:01:59.120,00:01:59.864,"you you know what, mo",S01,E01,Pilot
116,00:01:59.989,00:02:01.125,[ snoring ],S01,E01,Pilot
117,00:02:01.250,00:02:02.465,>> neutrino bomb armed.,S01,E01,Pilot
118,00:02:02.590,00:02:03.495,[ beeping ],S01,E01,Pilot
119,00:02:03.620,00:02:05.025,>> morty: um...,S01,E01,Pilot
120,00:02:05.150,00:02:06.649,[ beeping increases ],S01,E01,Pilot
121,00:02:39.220,00:02:41.065,>> jerry: i see there's a new,S01,E01,Pilot
122,00:02:41.190,00:02:42.324,episode of that singing show,S01,E01,Pilot
123,00:02:42.449,00:02:43.164,tonight.,S01,E01,Pilot
124,00:02:43.289,00:02:44.164,who do you guys think is gonna,S01,E01,Pilot
125,00:02:44.289,00:02:45.095,be the best singer?,S01,E01,Pilot
126,00:02:45.220,00:02:46.065,">> summer: oh, my god.",S01,E01,Pilot
127,00:02:46.190,00:02:46.995,his head is in his food.,S01,E01,Pilot
128,00:02:47.120,00:02:48.065,i'm going to puke.,S01,E01,Pilot
129,00:02:48.190,00:02:48.824,">> beth: morty, are you getting",S01,E01,Pilot
130,00:02:48.949,00:02:49.764,sick?,S01,E01,Pilot
131,00:02:49.889,00:02:50.824,i told you not to practice-kiss,S01,E01,Pilot
132,00:02:50.949,00:02:51.764,the living-room pillow.,S01,E01,Pilot
133,00:02:51.889,00:02:52.794,the dog sleeps on it.,S01,E01,Pilot
134,00:02:52.919,00:02:53.625,>> morty: i wasn't kissing a,S01,E01,Pilot
135,00:02:53.750,00:02:54.865,"pillow, mom.",S01,E01,Pilot
136,00:02:54.990,00:02:56.495,i just i didn't get a lot of,S01,E01,Pilot
137,00:02:56.620,00:02:57.764,sleep last night.,S01,E01,Pilot
138,00:02:57.889,00:02:58.565,maybe my dreams were just too,S01,E01,Pilot
139,00:02:58.690,00:02:59.365,loud or something.,S01,E01,Pilot
140,00:02:59.490,00:03:00.425,>> summer: or maybe you were out,S01,E01,Pilot
141,00:03:00.550,00:03:00.965,all night again with,S01,E01,Pilot
142,00:03:01.090,00:03:01.625,grandpa rick.,S01,E01,Pilot
143,00:03:01.750,00:03:02.294,>> jerry: what?!,S01,E01,Pilot
144,00:03:02.419,00:03:02.995,>> beth: dad?,S01,E01,Pilot
145,00:03:03.120,00:03:04.065,">> rick: what, so everyone's",S01,E01,Pilot
146,00:03:04.190,00:03:04.764,supposed to sleep every single,S01,E01,Pilot
147,00:03:04.889,00:03:05.764,night now?,S01,E01,Pilot
148,00:03:05.889,00:03:06.694,you realize that nighttime makes,S01,E01,Pilot
149,00:03:06.819,00:03:07.465,up half of all time?,S01,E01,Pilot
150,00:03:07.590,00:03:08.025,>> jerry: damn it!,S01,E01,Pilot
151,00:03:08.150,00:03:08.694,>> beth: jerry!,S01,E01,Pilot
152,00:03:08.819,00:03:09.525,>> jerry: beth!,S01,E01,Pilot
153,00:03:09.650,00:03:10.465,">> summer: oh, my god.",S01,E01,Pilot
154,00:03:10.590,00:03:10.995,my parents are so loud.,S01,E01,Pilot
155,00:03:11.120,00:03:11.925,i want to die.,S01,E01,Pilot
156,00:03:12.050,00:03:12.625,">> rick: mm, there is no god,",S01,E01,Pilot
157,00:03:12.750,00:03:13.365,summer.,S01,E01,Pilot
158,00:03:13.490,00:03:14.164,you got to rip that band-aid off,S01,E01,Pilot
159,00:03:14.289,00:03:14.764,now.,S01,E01,Pilot
160,00:03:14.889,00:03:15.664,you'll thank me later.,S01,E01,Pilot
161,00:03:15.789,00:03:16.625,">> jerry: okay, with all due",S01,E01,Pilot
162,00:03:16.750,00:03:17.395,"respect, rick what am i",S01,E01,Pilot
163,00:03:17.520,00:03:18.425,talking about?,S01,E01,Pilot
164,00:03:18.550,00:03:19.724,what respect is due?,S01,E01,Pilot
165,00:03:19.849,00:03:21.294,how is my son supposed to pass,S01,E01,Pilot
166,00:03:21.419,00:03:23.095,his classes if you keep dragging,S01,E01,Pilot
167,00:03:23.220,00:03:24.525,him off for high-concept sci-fi,S01,E01,Pilot
168,00:03:24.650,00:03:25.194,rigamarole?,S01,E01,Pilot
169,00:03:25.319,00:03:26.264,">> rick: listen, jerry, i-i",S01,E01,Pilot
170,00:03:26.389,00:03:27.264,don't want to overstep my bounds,S01,E01,Pilot
171,00:03:27.389,00:03:27.764,or anything.,S01,E01,Pilot
172,00:03:27.889,00:03:28.495,it's your house.,S01,E01,Pilot
173,00:03:28.620,00:03:29.224,it's your world.,S01,E01,Pilot
174,00:03:29.349,00:03:30.724,you're a real julius caesar.,S01,E01,Pilot
175,00:03:30.849,00:03:31.824,but i'll tell you some tell,S01,E01,Pilot
176,00:03:31.949,00:03:32.664,you how how i feel about,S01,E01,Pilot
177,00:03:32.789,00:03:33.724,"school, jerry.",S01,E01,Pilot
178,00:03:33.849,00:03:34.824,it's a waste of time a bunch,S01,E01,Pilot
179,00:03:34.949,00:03:35.824,"of people running around,",S01,E01,Pilot
180,00:03:35.949,00:03:36.925,bumping into each other.,S01,E01,Pilot
181,00:03:37.050,00:03:37.794,"g-guy up front says, ""two plus",S01,E01,Pilot
182,00:03:37.919,00:03:38.664,"two.""",S01,E01,Pilot
183,00:03:38.789,00:03:39.465,"the people in the back say,",S01,E01,Pilot
184,00:03:39.590,00:03:40.194,"""four.""",S01,E01,Pilot
185,00:03:40.319,00:03:41.625,"then the bell rings, and they",S01,E01,Pilot
186,00:03:41.750,00:03:42.925,give you a carton of milk and a,S01,E01,Pilot
187,00:03:43.050,00:03:44.194,pce of paper that says you can,S01,E01,Pilot
188,00:03:44.319,00:03:45.625,go take a dump or something.,S01,E01,Pilot
189,00:03:45.750,00:03:46.824,"i mean, it's it's not a place",S01,E01,Pilot
190,00:03:46.949,00:03:48.264,"for smart people, jerry.",S01,E01,Pilot
191,00:03:48.389,00:03:49.764,and i know that's not a popular,S01,E01,Pilot
192,00:03:49.889,00:03:50.824,"opinion, but it's my two cents",S01,E01,Pilot
193,00:03:50.949,00:03:52.895,on the issue.,S01,E01,Pilot
194,00:03:53.020,00:03:54.365,"this was a good breakfast, beth.",S01,E01,Pilot
195,00:03:54.490,00:03:55.694,you really made the crap out of,S01,E01,Pilot
196,00:03:55.819,00:03:56.764,those eggs.,S01,E01,Pilot
197,00:03:56.889,00:03:57.824,i wish your mother was here to,S01,E01,Pilot
198,00:03:57.949,00:03:58.724,eat them.,S01,E01,Pilot
199,00:03:58.849,00:03:59.824,">> beth: oh, dad.",S01,E01,Pilot
200,00:03:59.949,00:04:00.764,>> jerry: what?,S01,E01,Pilot
201,00:04:00.889,00:04:02.794,for real?,S01,E01,Pilot
202,00:04:02.919,00:04:04.294,">> all right, now, everybody get",S01,E01,Pilot
203,00:04:04.419,00:04:05.095,settled.,S01,E01,Pilot
204,00:04:05.220,00:04:06.764,get away from the windows!,S01,E01,Pilot
205,00:04:06.889,00:04:07.995,"now, look, we're gonna be",S01,E01,Pilot
206,00:04:08.120,00:04:08.965,dealing with some real serious,S01,E01,Pilot
207,00:04:09.090,00:04:09.995,stuff today.,S01,E01,Pilot
208,00:04:10.120,00:04:11.065,you might have heard of it.,S01,E01,Pilot
209,00:04:11.190,00:04:12.194,it's called math.,S01,E01,Pilot
210,00:04:12.319,00:04:13.795,"and without it, none of us would",S01,E01,Pilot
211,00:04:13.920,00:04:14.925,"even exist, so let's jump right",S01,E01,Pilot
212,00:04:15.050,00:04:15.824,in two plus two.,S01,E01,Pilot
213,00:04:15.949,00:04:16.725,>> morty: jessica.,S01,E01,Pilot
214,00:04:16.850,00:04:18.524,>> five plus five.,S01,E01,Pilot
215,00:04:18.649,00:04:19.394,>> morty: tenssica.,S01,E01,Pilot
216,00:04:19.519,00:04:20.824,">> okay, good.",S01,E01,Pilot
217,00:04:20.949,00:04:21.764,it's time for the quiz.,S01,E01,Pilot
218,00:04:21.889,00:04:22.625,[ all groan ],S01,E01,Pilot
219,00:04:22.750,00:04:23.464,"yeah, you know what?!",S01,E01,Pilot
220,00:04:23.589,00:04:24.365,"aw, too bad!",S01,E01,Pilot
221,00:04:24.490,00:04:25.524,tough!,S01,E01,Pilot
222,00:04:25.649,00:04:26.725,"first row, take one.",S01,E01,Pilot
223,00:04:26.850,00:04:28.065,pass it back for me.,S01,E01,Pilot
224,00:04:28.190,00:04:28.824,the stakes are high in this,S01,E01,Pilot
225,00:04:28.949,00:04:29.764,room.,S01,E01,Pilot
226,00:04:29.889,00:04:31.095,there's crucial things happening,S01,E01,Pilot
227,00:04:31.220,00:04:32.065,here every day.,S01,E01,Pilot
228,00:04:32.190,00:04:33.264,people getting smarter.,S01,E01,Pilot
229,00:04:33.389,00:04:34.725,some of y'all getting dumber.,S01,E01,Pilot
230,00:04:34.850,00:04:35.625,some of y'all ain't gonna see,S01,E01,Pilot
231,00:04:35.750,00:04:37.250,3:00.,S01,E01,Pilot
232,00:04:38.790,00:04:40.694,">> hi, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
233,00:04:40.819,00:04:41.795,>> morty: whoa!,S01,E01,Pilot
234,00:04:41.920,00:04:42.894,"hi, jessica.",S01,E01,Pilot
235,00:04:43.019,00:04:44.065,>> can i show these to you?,S01,E01,Pilot
236,00:04:44.190,00:04:45.095,>> morty: wow.,S01,E01,Pilot
237,00:04:45.220,00:04:46.565,th-they're both great.,S01,E01,Pilot
238,00:04:46.690,00:04:47.625,thank you.,S01,E01,Pilot
239,00:04:47.750,00:04:48.725,>> you know what i named these?,S01,E01,Pilot
240,00:04:48.850,00:04:49.764,my little morties.,S01,E01,Pilot
241,00:04:49.889,00:04:50.964,">> morty: uh, that's",S01,E01,Pilot
242,00:04:51.089,00:04:52.595,flattering... and a little weird.,S01,E01,Pilot
243,00:04:52.720,00:04:53.764,>> do you know what i want you,S01,E01,Pilot
244,00:04:53.889,00:04:54.764,to do with them?,S01,E01,Pilot
245,00:04:54.889,00:04:55.795,>> morty: rename them?,S01,E01,Pilot
246,00:04:55.920,00:04:57.425,>> squeeze them.,S01,E01,Pilot
247,00:04:57.550,00:04:58.464,manhandle them.,S01,E01,Pilot
248,00:04:58.589,00:04:59.694,give them the business.,S01,E01,Pilot
249,00:04:59.819,00:05:01.095,see if you can shuffle them.,S01,E01,Pilot
250,00:05:01.220,00:05:02.495,"i mean, really get in there and",S01,E01,Pilot
251,00:05:02.620,00:05:03.495,knock them around.,S01,E01,Pilot
252,00:05:03.620,00:05:04.324,no wrong answers.,S01,E01,Pilot
253,00:05:04.449,00:05:05.065,>> morty: wow.,S01,E01,Pilot
254,00:05:05.190,00:05:07.024,"well, okay, jessica.",S01,E01,Pilot
255,00:05:07.149,00:05:08.194,l-let's give this a shot.,S01,E01,Pilot
256,00:05:08.319,00:05:09.365,>> mm.,S01,E01,Pilot
257,00:05:09.490,00:05:10.964,"oh, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
258,00:05:11.089,00:05:12.764,what are you doing to me?,S01,E01,Pilot
259,00:05:12.889,00:05:13.495,">> morty: uh, i-i'm just doing",S01,E01,Pilot
260,00:05:13.620,00:05:14.425,my best.,S01,E01,Pilot
261,00:05:14.550,00:05:15.165,>> morty!,S01,E01,Pilot
262,00:05:15.290,00:05:16.365,what are you doing to me?!,S01,E01,Pilot
263,00:05:16.490,00:05:16.925,>> morty: jessica.,S01,E01,Pilot
264,00:05:17.050,00:05:18.694,>> morty!,S01,E01,Pilot
265,00:05:18.819,00:05:20.595,>> morty: [ mumbling ] jessica.,S01,E01,Pilot
266,00:05:20.720,00:05:21.625,">> five more minutes of this,",S01,E01,Pilot
267,00:05:21.750,00:05:23.125,and i'm gonna get mad.,S01,E01,Pilot
268,00:05:23.250,00:05:24.625,>> morty: je-jessica.,S01,E01,Pilot
269,00:05:24.750,00:05:25.665,[ mumbling ] jessica.,S01,E01,Pilot
270,00:05:25.790,00:05:26.495,>> not my fault this is,S01,E01,Pilot
271,00:05:26.620,00:05:27.125,happening.,S01,E01,Pilot
272,00:05:27.250,00:05:29.925,[ school bell rings ],S01,E01,Pilot
273,00:05:30.050,00:05:31.095,">> well, well, well.",S01,E01,Pilot
274,00:05:31.220,00:05:31.925,">> morty: uh, morning, frank.",S01,E01,Pilot
275,00:05:32.050,00:05:32.925,">> ""morning""?",S01,E01,Pilot
276,00:05:33.050,00:05:33.725,what was what is that,S01,E01,Pilot
277,00:05:33.850,00:05:34.595,supposed to mean?,S01,E01,Pilot
278,00:05:34.720,00:05:35.495,you making fun of me?,S01,E01,Pilot
279,00:05:35.620,00:05:35.995,are you trying to say my,S01,E01,Pilot
280,00:05:36.120,00:05:36.925,family's poor?,S01,E01,Pilot
281,00:05:37.050,00:05:37.865,">> morty: oh, geez, frank.",S01,E01,Pilot
282,00:05:37.990,00:05:38.595,i don't know if a knife is,S01,E01,Pilot
283,00:05:38.720,00:05:39.625,necessary.,S01,E01,Pilot
284,00:05:39.750,00:05:41.024,"i mean, you know, y-you kind of",S01,E01,Pilot
285,00:05:41.149,00:05:42.595,had things handled without it.,S01,E01,Pilot
286,00:05:42.720,00:05:43.495,>> you telling me how to bully,S01,E01,Pilot
287,00:05:43.620,00:05:44.095,now?,S01,E01,Pilot
288,00:05:44.220,00:05:46.264,"big mistake, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
289,00:05:46.389,00:05:48.464,"and now i'm gonna cut you,",S01,E01,Pilot
290,00:05:48.589,00:05:49.865,'cause my family's rich.,S01,E01,Pilot
291,00:05:49.990,00:05:52.065,[ gasps ],S01,E01,Pilot
292,00:05:52.190,00:05:53.065,">> rick: there you are, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
293,00:05:53.190,00:05:54.024,listen to me.,S01,E01,Pilot
294,00:05:54.149,00:05:55.165,i got an errand to run in a,S01,E01,Pilot
295,00:05:55.290,00:05:56.324,whole different dimension.,S01,E01,Pilot
296,00:05:56.449,00:05:57.694,i need an extra pair of hands.,S01,E01,Pilot
297,00:05:57.819,00:05:58.824,">> morty: oh, geez, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
298,00:05:58.949,00:05:59.925,w-what'd you do to frank?,S01,E01,Pilot
299,00:06:00.050,00:06:00.694,">> rick: it's pretty obvious,",S01,E01,Pilot
300,00:06:00.819,00:06:01.295,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
301,00:06:01.420,00:06:02.095,i froze him.,S01,E01,Pilot
302,00:06:02.220,00:06:02.865,"now listen i need your help,",S01,E01,Pilot
303,00:06:02.990,00:06:03.725,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
304,00:06:03.850,00:06:04.964,"i mean, we got we got to",S01,E01,Pilot
305,00:06:05.089,00:06:06.194,get get the hell out of here,S01,E01,Pilot
306,00:06:06.319,00:06:07.264,and go take care of business.,S01,E01,Pilot
307,00:06:07.389,00:06:08.764,[ burps ],S01,E01,Pilot
308,00:06:08.889,00:06:09.865,"it's important. come on, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
309,00:06:09.990,00:06:10.925,">> morty: i don't know, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
310,00:06:11.050,00:06:12.024,i-i can't leave school again.,S01,E01,Pilot
311,00:06:12.149,00:06:13.165,>> rick: do you have any concept,S01,E01,Pilot
312,00:06:13.290,00:06:14.095,of how much higher the stakes,S01,E01,Pilot
313,00:06:14.220,00:06:15.125,"get out there, morty?",S01,E01,Pilot
314,00:06:15.250,00:06:16.065,what do you think i can just,S01,E01,Pilot
315,00:06:16.190,00:06:16.694,do it all by myself?,S01,E01,Pilot
316,00:06:16.819,00:06:17.665,come on!,S01,E01,Pilot
317,00:06:17.790,00:06:18.894,">> morty: aw, geez. okay.",S01,E01,Pilot
318,00:06:19.019,00:06:20.524,i guess i can skip history.,S01,E01,Pilot
319,00:06:20.649,00:06:21.595,what about frank?,S01,E01,Pilot
320,00:06:21.720,00:06:22.425,"i mean, shouldn't you unfreeze",S01,E01,Pilot
321,00:06:22.550,00:06:23.024,him?,S01,E01,Pilot
322,00:06:23.149,00:06:23.865,">> rick: i'll do it later,",S01,E01,Pilot
323,00:06:23.990,00:06:24.495,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
324,00:06:24.620,00:06:25.225,he'll be fine.,S01,E01,Pilot
325,00:06:25.350,00:06:27.650,let's go.,S01,E01,Pilot
326,00:06:28.720,00:06:29.165,">> summer: [ thinking ] oh, my",S01,E01,Pilot
327,00:06:29.290,00:06:30.125,god.,S01,E01,Pilot
328,00:06:30.250,00:06:31.495,i'm about to walk past,S01,E01,Pilot
329,00:06:31.620,00:06:32.694,frank palicky.,S01,E01,Pilot
330,00:06:32.819,00:06:33.595,this is the story we'll be,S01,E01,Pilot
331,00:06:33.720,00:06:35.725,telling our children.,S01,E01,Pilot
332,00:06:35.850,00:06:37.394,"hi, frank.",S01,E01,Pilot
333,00:06:37.519,00:06:39.725,"[ cracks, shatters ]",S01,E01,Pilot
334,00:06:39.850,00:06:41.150,aah!,S01,E01,Pilot
335,00:06:41.550,00:06:43.665,[ horse whinnying ],S01,E01,Pilot
336,00:06:43.790,00:06:44.694,>> beth: scalpel.,S01,E01,Pilot
337,00:06:44.819,00:06:45.495,>> scalpel.,S01,E01,Pilot
338,00:06:45.620,00:06:46.464,[ door opens ],S01,E01,Pilot
339,00:06:46.589,00:06:47.365,">> jerry: knock, knock.",S01,E01,Pilot
340,00:06:47.490,00:06:48.295,>> beth: jerry?,S01,E01,Pilot
341,00:06:48.420,00:06:49.824,>> jerry: my manager gave me an,S01,E01,Pilot
342,00:06:49.949,00:06:51.065,"hour for lunch, and i thought,",S01,E01,Pilot
343,00:06:51.190,00:06:52.394,"""hey, why not swing by where",S01,E01,Pilot
344,00:06:52.519,00:06:52.964,"your wife works?""",S01,E01,Pilot
345,00:06:53.089,00:06:53.725,[ flatline ],S01,E01,Pilot
346,00:06:53.850,00:06:54.324,>> we're losing him.,S01,E01,Pilot
347,00:06:54.449,00:06:55.324,[ beeps ],S01,E01,Pilot
348,00:06:55.449,00:06:56.065,"okay, he's back.",S01,E01,Pilot
349,00:06:56.190,00:06:57.065,">> beth: jerry, please tell me",S01,E01,Pilot
350,00:06:57.190,00:06:57.764,you're here for an incredibly,S01,E01,Pilot
351,00:06:57.889,00:06:58.824,urgent reason.,S01,E01,Pilot
352,00:06:58.949,00:07:00.125,">> jerry: well, it's lunch.",S01,E01,Pilot
353,00:07:00.250,00:07:01.264,"i mean, it's one of three meals",S01,E01,Pilot
354,00:07:01.389,00:07:02.264,that have existed for millennia.,S01,E01,Pilot
355,00:07:02.389,00:07:02.725,[ flatline ],S01,E01,Pilot
356,00:07:02.850,00:07:03.324,>> losing him.,S01,E01,Pilot
357,00:07:03.449,00:07:04.295,[ beeps ],S01,E01,Pilot
358,00:07:04.420,00:07:05.125,stabilized.,S01,E01,Pilot
359,00:07:05.250,00:07:06.764,">> beth: okay, i only ask,",S01,E01,Pilot
360,00:07:06.889,00:07:08.225,"jerry, because, as you know, my",S01,E01,Pilot
361,00:07:08.350,00:07:09.495,job involves performing heart,S01,E01,Pilot
362,00:07:09.620,00:07:10.264,surgery.,S01,E01,Pilot
363,00:07:10.389,00:07:11.524,">> jerry: well, yeah, on horses.",S01,E01,Pilot
364,00:07:11.649,00:07:12.365,>> beth: excuse me?,S01,E01,Pilot
365,00:07:12.490,00:07:13.165,>> jerry: okay.,S01,E01,Pilot
366,00:07:13.290,00:07:15.165,let's not rehash thatfight.,S01,E01,Pilot
367,00:07:15.290,00:07:16.625,i sense that you're busy and,S01,E01,Pilot
368,00:07:16.750,00:07:17.524,will now be on my way.,S01,E01,Pilot
369,00:07:17.649,00:07:18.524,whoa!,S01,E01,Pilot
370,00:07:18.649,00:07:20.225,what is this on the floor?,S01,E01,Pilot
371,00:07:20.350,00:07:22.125,some kind of literature for a,S01,E01,Pilot
372,00:07:22.250,00:07:23.165,really nice-looking nursing,S01,E01,Pilot
373,00:07:23.290,00:07:23.865,home.,S01,E01,Pilot
374,00:07:23.990,00:07:25.065,"hey, honey, crazy idea bad",S01,E01,Pilot
375,00:07:25.190,00:07:25.865,pitch let's put your dad,S01,E01,Pilot
376,00:07:25.990,00:07:26.795,here.,S01,E01,Pilot
377,00:07:26.920,00:07:27.694,let's put your dad in a nursing,S01,E01,Pilot
378,00:07:27.819,00:07:28.295,home.,S01,E01,Pilot
379,00:07:28.420,00:07:29.725,[ flatline ],S01,E01,Pilot
380,00:07:29.850,00:07:30.565,>> we're losing him.,S01,E01,Pilot
381,00:07:30.690,00:07:31.565,">> beth: hey, tom.",S01,E01,Pilot
382,00:07:31.690,00:07:32.524,we know when we're losing him.,S01,E01,Pilot
383,00:07:32.649,00:07:33.964,we can hear the beeps!,S01,E01,Pilot
384,00:07:34.089,00:07:34.925,>> rick: there she is.,S01,E01,Pilot
385,00:07:35.050,00:07:35.925,all right.,S01,E01,Pilot
386,00:07:36.050,00:07:37.095,"come on, morty. let's go.",S01,E01,Pilot
387,00:07:37.220,00:07:37.925,">> morty: oh, geez.",S01,E01,Pilot
388,00:07:38.050,00:07:39.550,okay.,S01,E01,Pilot
389,00:07:40.690,00:07:42.425,"oh, man, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
390,00:07:42.550,00:07:43.894,what is this place?,S01,E01,Pilot
391,00:07:44.019,00:07:45.894,">> rick: it's dimension 35c, and",S01,E01,Pilot
392,00:07:46.019,00:07:47.194,it's got the perfect climate,S01,E01,Pilot
393,00:07:47.319,00:07:48.725,conditions for a special type of,S01,E01,Pilot
394,00:07:48.850,00:07:50.165,"tree, morty, called a mega tree,",S01,E01,Pilot
395,00:07:50.290,00:07:51.694,and there's fruit in those,S01,E01,Pilot
396,00:07:51.819,00:07:52.795,"trees, and there's seeds in",S01,E01,Pilot
397,00:07:52.920,00:07:53.925,those fruits.,S01,E01,Pilot
398,00:07:54.050,00:07:55.295,i'm talking about mega seeds.,S01,E01,Pilot
399,00:07:55.420,00:07:56.225,they're [burping] they're,S01,E01,Pilot
400,00:07:56.350,00:07:57.464,"incredibly powerful, and i need",S01,E01,Pilot
401,00:07:57.589,00:07:58.095,them to help me with my,S01,E01,Pilot
402,00:07:58.220,00:07:58.995,"research, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
403,00:07:59.120,00:08:00.065,">> morty: oh, man, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
404,00:08:00.190,00:08:01.225,"i'm looking around this place,",S01,E01,Pilot
405,00:08:01.350,00:08:02.625,and i'm starting to work up some,S01,E01,Pilot
406,00:08:02.750,00:08:03.764,anxiety about this whole thing.,S01,E01,Pilot
407,00:08:03.889,00:08:04.964,>> rick: all right. all right.,S01,E01,Pilot
408,00:08:05.089,00:08:06.095,"calm down. listen to me, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
409,00:08:06.220,00:08:06.995,i know that new situations can,S01,E01,Pilot
410,00:08:07.120,00:08:08.295,be intimidating.,S01,E01,Pilot
411,00:08:08.420,00:08:09.725,"you're looking around, and it's",S01,E01,Pilot
412,00:08:09.850,00:08:10.894,"all scary and different, but,",S01,E01,Pilot
413,00:08:11.019,00:08:12.665,"you know, m-meeting them head",S01,E01,Pilot
414,00:08:12.790,00:08:13.865,"on, charging right into them",S01,E01,Pilot
415,00:08:13.990,00:08:14.865,like a bull that's how we,S01,E01,Pilot
416,00:08:14.990,00:08:15.824,grow as people.,S01,E01,Pilot
417,00:08:15.949,00:08:16.725,i'm no stranger to scary,S01,E01,Pilot
418,00:08:16.850,00:08:17.694,situations.,S01,E01,Pilot
419,00:08:17.819,00:08:19.024,i deal with them all the time.,S01,E01,Pilot
420,00:08:19.149,00:08:20.264,"now, if you just stick with me,",S01,E01,Pilot
421,00:08:20.389,00:08:21.524,"morty, we're gonna be holy",S01,E01,Pilot
422,00:08:21.649,00:08:22.495,"crap, morty, run!",S01,E01,Pilot
423,00:08:22.620,00:08:23.694,>> morty: [ screaming ],S01,E01,Pilot
424,00:08:23.819,00:08:24.795,>> rick: i never seen that thing,S01,E01,Pilot
425,00:08:24.920,00:08:25.925,before in my life.,S01,E01,Pilot
426,00:08:26.050,00:08:26.795,i don't even know what the hell,S01,E01,Pilot
427,00:08:26.920,00:08:27.665,it is!,S01,E01,Pilot
428,00:08:27.790,00:08:28.495,"we got to get out of here,",S01,E01,Pilot
429,00:08:28.620,00:08:29.065,morty!,S01,E01,Pilot
430,00:08:29.190,00:08:29.924,it's gonna kill us!,S01,E01,Pilot
431,00:08:30.049,00:08:30.894,we're gonna die!,S01,E01,Pilot
432,00:08:31.019,00:08:31.524,"we're gonna die, morty!",S01,E01,Pilot
433,00:08:34.320,00:08:34.995,">> rick: oh, morty, take a deep",S01,E01,Pilot
434,00:08:35.120,00:08:35.664,breath.,S01,E01,Pilot
435,00:08:35.789,00:08:36.595,breathe that breathe that,S01,E01,Pilot
436,00:08:36.720,00:08:37.495,"fresh air in, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
437,00:08:37.620,00:08:38.764,y-you smell that?,S01,E01,Pilot
438,00:08:38.889,00:08:39.865,"that's the smell of adventure,",S01,E01,Pilot
439,00:08:39.990,00:08:40.625,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
440,00:08:40.750,00:08:42.125,that's that's the smell of,S01,E01,Pilot
441,00:08:42.250,00:08:43.365,of of of a whole different,S01,E01,Pilot
442,00:08:43.490,00:08:44.424,evolutionary timeline.,S01,E01,Pilot
443,00:08:44.549,00:08:45.695,">> morty: all right, rick,",S01,E01,Pilot
444,00:08:45.820,00:08:46.825,look how much longer is this,S01,E01,Pilot
445,00:08:46.950,00:08:47.625,gonna be?,S01,E01,Pilot
446,00:08:47.750,00:08:48.394,shouldn't i be back at school by,S01,E01,Pilot
447,00:08:48.519,00:08:49.225,now?,S01,E01,Pilot
448,00:08:49.350,00:08:50.394,>> rick: are you joking me?,S01,E01,Pilot
449,00:08:50.519,00:08:51.394,"i mean, look at all the crazy",S01,E01,Pilot
450,00:08:51.519,00:08:52.465,crap surrounding us.,S01,E01,Pilot
451,00:08:52.590,00:08:53.664,look at that thing right there.,S01,E01,Pilot
452,00:08:53.789,00:08:54.794,w-what the hell is that thing?,S01,E01,Pilot
453,00:08:54.919,00:08:56.095,you think you're gonna see that,S01,E01,Pilot
454,00:08:56.220,00:08:57.164,kind of thing at school?,S01,E01,Pilot
455,00:08:57.289,00:08:57.894,look at it just lumbering,S01,E01,Pilot
456,00:08:58.019,00:08:59.465,around.,S01,E01,Pilot
457,00:08:59.590,00:09:00.195,it defies all logic that,S01,E01,Pilot
458,00:09:00.320,00:09:01.125,thing.,S01,E01,Pilot
459,00:09:01.250,00:09:02.325,">> morty: yeah, rick, i get it.",S01,E01,Pilot
460,00:09:02.450,00:09:04.195,we're surrounded by monsters.,S01,E01,Pilot
461,00:09:04.320,00:09:04.894,that's kind of the reason why i,S01,E01,Pilot
462,00:09:05.019,00:09:05.565,want to leave.,S01,E01,Pilot
463,00:09:05.690,00:09:06.365,>> rick: ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.,S01,E01,Pilot
464,00:09:06.490,00:09:08.595,"morty, you see this?",S01,E01,Pilot
465,00:09:08.720,00:09:09.794,you see what we just stumbled,S01,E01,Pilot
466,00:09:09.919,00:09:10.524,"upon, morty?",S01,E01,Pilot
467,00:09:10.649,00:09:11.424,any idea what that is down,S01,E01,Pilot
468,00:09:11.549,00:09:12.294,there?,S01,E01,Pilot
469,00:09:12.419,00:09:13.565,>> morty: the mega trees?,S01,E01,Pilot
470,00:09:13.690,00:09:15.024,">> rick: that's right, morty",S01,E01,Pilot
471,00:09:15.149,00:09:16.125,the mega trees with the mega,S01,E01,Pilot
472,00:09:16.250,00:09:17.065,fruit on them.,S01,E01,Pilot
473,00:09:17.190,00:09:17.995,and that's what i'm talking,S01,E01,Pilot
474,00:09:18.120,00:09:18.695,"about, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
475,00:09:18.820,00:09:19.764,that's where my seeds are.,S01,E01,Pilot
476,00:09:19.889,00:09:21.125,if we would have done what you,S01,E01,Pilot
477,00:09:21.250,00:09:22.264,"wanted, i would have never have",S01,E01,Pilot
478,00:09:22.389,00:09:23.365,"found them, because y because",S01,E01,Pilot
479,00:09:23.490,00:09:24.524,you're so in love with school.,S01,E01,Pilot
480,00:09:24.649,00:09:25.565,">> morty: all right, all right.",S01,E01,Pilot
481,00:09:25.690,00:09:26.625,"so, what's so special about",S01,E01,Pilot
482,00:09:26.750,00:09:27.695,"these seeds, anyways?",S01,E01,Pilot
483,00:09:27.820,00:09:28.894,>> rick: you ask a lot of,S01,E01,Pilot
484,00:09:29.019,00:09:29.595,"questions, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
485,00:09:29.720,00:09:30.764,not very charismatic.,S01,E01,Pilot
486,00:09:30.889,00:09:31.695,it makes you kind of an [burps],S01,E01,Pilot
487,00:09:31.820,00:09:32.695,under [burps] underfoot,S01,E01,Pilot
488,00:09:32.820,00:09:33.394,figure.,S01,E01,Pilot
489,00:09:33.519,00:09:34.524,"just take these shoes, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
490,00:09:34.649,00:09:35.465,they're sp [burps] special,S01,E01,Pilot
491,00:09:35.590,00:09:36.625,grappling shoes.,S01,E01,Pilot
492,00:09:36.750,00:09:37.725,when you're wearing these,S01,E01,Pilot
493,00:09:37.850,00:09:39.225,"things ba these babies,",S01,E01,Pilot
494,00:09:39.350,00:09:40.524,you can basically just walk on,S01,E01,Pilot
495,00:09:40.649,00:09:41.794,"any surface you want, morty",S01,E01,Pilot
496,00:09:41.919,00:09:42.995,"up, down, below, turn around to",S01,E01,Pilot
497,00:09:43.120,00:09:43.794,the left.,S01,E01,Pilot
498,00:09:43.919,00:09:44.924,these things really bring it all,S01,E01,Pilot
499,00:09:45.049,00:09:45.825,together.,S01,E01,Pilot
500,00:09:45.950,00:09:46.764,>> morty: aah!,S01,E01,Pilot
501,00:09:46.889,00:09:47.764,>> rick: you have to turn them,S01,E01,Pilot
502,00:09:47.889,00:09:48.195,"on, morty!",S01,E01,Pilot
503,00:09:48.320,00:09:49.195,[ thuds ],S01,E01,Pilot
504,00:09:49.320,00:09:50.725,the shoes have to be turned on!,S01,E01,Pilot
505,00:09:50.850,00:09:52.325,>> beth: i am not putting my,S01,E01,Pilot
506,00:09:52.450,00:09:53.625,father in a home!,S01,E01,Pilot
507,00:09:53.750,00:09:55.495,"he just came back into my life,",S01,E01,Pilot
508,00:09:55.620,00:09:57.725,and you want to grab him and,S01,E01,Pilot
509,00:09:57.850,00:09:59.095,stuff him under a mattress like,S01,E01,Pilot
510,00:09:59.220,00:10:00.225,last month's victoria's secret?,S01,E01,Pilot
511,00:10:00.350,00:10:01.264,>> jerry: i told you i was,S01,E01,Pilot
512,00:10:01.389,00:10:02.125,ordering you something for,S01,E01,Pilot
513,00:10:02.250,00:10:03.465,valentine's day.,S01,E01,Pilot
514,00:10:03.590,00:10:05.365,"more importantly, your father is",S01,E01,Pilot
515,00:10:05.490,00:10:06.695,a horrible influence on our son.,S01,E01,Pilot
516,00:10:06.820,00:10:07.794,">> everything cool in here,",S01,E01,Pilot
517,00:10:07.919,00:10:08.465,beth?,S01,E01,Pilot
518,00:10:08.590,00:10:09.465,">> beth: it's fine, davin.",S01,E01,Pilot
519,00:10:09.590,00:10:10.595,">> okay, cool.",S01,E01,Pilot
520,00:10:10.720,00:10:11.764,"you know, we did something great",S01,E01,Pilot
521,00:10:11.889,00:10:12.524,today.,S01,E01,Pilot
522,00:10:12.649,00:10:14.125,there's nothing more noble and,S01,E01,Pilot
523,00:10:14.250,00:10:16.865,free than the heart of a horse.,S01,E01,Pilot
524,00:10:16.990,00:10:18.264,">> jerry: since we're fighting,",S01,E01,Pilot
525,00:10:18.389,00:10:19.394,if you ever have an affair with,S01,E01,Pilot
526,00:10:19.519,00:10:20.524,"that guy, i will come to the",S01,E01,Pilot
527,00:10:20.649,00:10:21.695,hotel room and blow my brains,S01,E01,Pilot
528,00:10:21.820,00:10:23.394,out all over your naked bodies.,S01,E01,Pilot
529,00:10:23.519,00:10:24.764,">> beth: look, i appreciate the",S01,E01,Pilot
530,00:10:24.889,00:10:26.424,"stress you're under, but morty",S01,E01,Pilot
531,00:10:26.549,00:10:28.095,was having trouble in school way,S01,E01,Pilot
532,00:10:28.220,00:10:29.495,"before my dad moved in, and the",S01,E01,Pilot
533,00:10:29.620,00:10:31.065,only influence i can see rick,S01,E01,Pilot
534,00:10:31.190,00:10:32.325,"having is that, for the first",S01,E01,Pilot
535,00:10:32.450,00:10:33.995,"time in his life, morty has a",S01,E01,Pilot
536,00:10:34.120,00:10:34.965,friend.,S01,E01,Pilot
537,00:10:35.090,00:10:35.924,[ telephone ringing ],S01,E01,Pilot
538,00:10:36.049,00:10:37.465,>> jerry: [ sighs ],S01,E01,Pilot
539,00:10:37.590,00:10:39.095,"well, maybe you're right.",S01,E01,Pilot
540,00:10:39.220,00:10:40.524,">> beth: uh, yeah, maybe i am.",S01,E01,Pilot
541,00:10:40.649,00:10:41.825,i'm my father's daughter.,S01,E01,Pilot
542,00:10:41.950,00:10:42.695,i'm smart.,S01,E01,Pilot
543,00:10:42.820,00:10:43.394,why do you think i'm a heart,S01,E01,Pilot
544,00:10:43.519,00:10:44.325,surgeon?,S01,E01,Pilot
545,00:10:44.450,00:10:45.195,>> jerry: horse heart surgeon.,S01,E01,Pilot
546,00:10:45.320,00:10:45.825,>> beth: hello?,S01,E01,Pilot
547,00:10:45.950,00:10:46.595,>> mrs. smith?,S01,E01,Pilot
548,00:10:46.720,00:10:47.394,this is principal vagina no,S01,E01,Pilot
549,00:10:47.519,00:10:48.225,relation.,S01,E01,Pilot
550,00:10:48.350,00:10:49.325,i wonder if you and morty's,S01,E01,Pilot
551,00:10:49.450,00:10:50.394,father might be able to have a,S01,E01,Pilot
552,00:10:50.519,00:10:51.465,chat with me this afternoon?,S01,E01,Pilot
553,00:10:51.590,00:10:52.825,[ suspenseful music plays ],S01,E01,Pilot
554,00:10:52.950,00:10:54.195,">> rick: morty, oh, you really",S01,E01,Pilot
555,00:10:54.320,00:10:55.024,d-did a number on your legs,S01,E01,Pilot
556,00:10:55.149,00:10:55.625,right now.,S01,E01,Pilot
557,00:10:55.750,00:10:56.764,>> morty: [ groaning ],S01,E01,Pilot
558,00:10:56.889,00:10:58.095,">> rick: you know, you got to",S01,E01,Pilot
559,00:10:58.220,00:10:58.995,"turn the shoes on, morty, for",S01,E01,Pilot
560,00:10:59.120,00:10:59.865,them to work.,S01,E01,Pilot
561,00:10:59.990,00:11:01.264,"yeah, look i turned mine on.",S01,E01,Pilot
562,00:11:01.389,00:11:02.024,i had no problem getting down,S01,E01,Pilot
563,00:11:02.149,00:11:02.664,here.,S01,E01,Pilot
564,00:11:02.789,00:11:04.125,it was a leisurely breeze.,S01,E01,Pilot
565,00:11:04.250,00:11:05.024,">> morty: i'm in a lot of pain,",S01,E01,Pilot
566,00:11:05.149,00:11:05.764,rick.,S01,E01,Pilot
567,00:11:05.889,00:11:07.294,">> rick: yeah, i can see that.",S01,E01,Pilot
568,00:11:07.419,00:11:08.625,but do you think you'll still be,S01,E01,Pilot
569,00:11:08.750,00:11:10.125,able to help me [burps] collect,S01,E01,Pilot
570,00:11:10.250,00:11:11.164,"my seeds, morty?",S01,E01,Pilot
571,00:11:11.289,00:11:12.125,>> morty: are you kidding me?!,S01,E01,Pilot
572,00:11:12.250,00:11:13.264,"that's it, rick!",S01,E01,Pilot
573,00:11:13.389,00:11:14.394,that's the last straw!,S01,E01,Pilot
574,00:11:14.519,00:11:15.625,i can't believe this i'm,S01,E01,Pilot
575,00:11:15.750,00:11:17.095,sitting here with both of my,S01,E01,Pilot
576,00:11:17.220,00:11:18.394,"legs broken, and you're still",S01,E01,Pilot
577,00:11:18.519,00:11:19.325,asking me about getting those,S01,E01,Pilot
578,00:11:19.450,00:11:19.924,seeds?!,S01,E01,Pilot
579,00:11:20.049,00:11:21.465,ooh! ow! oh!,S01,E01,Pilot
580,00:11:21.590,00:11:23.225,y-y-you're a monster.,S01,E01,Pilot
581,00:11:23.350,00:11:24.394,"y-you're like hitler, but",S01,E01,Pilot
582,00:11:24.519,00:11:25.524,but even hitler cared about,S01,E01,Pilot
583,00:11:25.649,00:11:26.664,germany or something.,S01,E01,Pilot
584,00:11:26.789,00:11:27.825,">> rick: okay, hold on just a",S01,E01,Pilot
585,00:11:27.950,00:11:28.565,"second, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
586,00:11:28.690,00:11:31.794,>> morty: [ groaning ],S01,E01,Pilot
587,00:11:31.919,00:11:34.024,[ panting ],S01,E01,Pilot
588,00:11:47.450,00:11:48.294,ooh.,S01,E01,Pilot
589,00:11:48.419,00:11:49.294,ohh.,S01,E01,Pilot
590,00:11:49.419,00:11:50.394,ooh.,S01,E01,Pilot
591,00:11:50.519,00:11:52.125,"wow, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
592,00:11:52.250,00:11:53.024,that stuff just healed my broken,S01,E01,Pilot
593,00:11:53.149,00:11:54.794,legs instantly.,S01,E01,Pilot
594,00:11:54.919,00:11:56.125,"i mean, i've never felt so good",S01,E01,Pilot
595,00:11:56.250,00:11:57.325,in my life.,S01,E01,Pilot
596,00:11:57.450,00:11:58.264,thank you.,S01,E01,Pilot
597,00:11:58.389,00:11:58.965,">> rick: don't worry about it,",S01,E01,Pilot
598,00:11:59.090,00:11:59.625,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
599,00:11:59.750,00:12:00.595,just come help me get these,S01,E01,Pilot
600,00:12:00.720,00:12:01.625,"seeds, all right, buddy?",S01,E01,Pilot
601,00:12:01.750,00:12:02.664,">> morty: sure thing, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
602,00:12:02.789,00:12:03.725,">> rick: not that you asked,",S01,E01,Pilot
603,00:12:03.850,00:12:04.825,"morty, but what just happened",S01,E01,Pilot
604,00:12:04.950,00:12:06.465,there is i went into a future,S01,E01,Pilot
605,00:12:06.590,00:12:07.965,dimension with such advanced,S01,E01,Pilot
606,00:12:08.090,00:12:08.865,medicine that they had,S01,E01,Pilot
607,00:12:08.990,00:12:09.894,broken-leg serum at every corner,S01,E01,Pilot
608,00:12:10.019,00:12:10.595,drugstore.,S01,E01,Pilot
609,00:12:10.720,00:12:11.424,the stuff was all over the,S01,E01,Pilot
610,00:12:11.549,00:12:12.365,"place, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
611,00:12:12.490,00:12:13.195,">> morty: wow, that's pretty",S01,E01,Pilot
612,00:12:13.320,00:12:14.024,"crazy, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
613,00:12:14.149,00:12:15.125,>> rick: there's just one,S01,E01,Pilot
614,00:12:15.250,00:12:15.995,"problem, morty one little",S01,E01,Pilot
615,00:12:16.120,00:12:16.764,hang-up.,S01,E01,Pilot
616,00:12:16.889,00:12:18.264,the dimension i visited was so,S01,E01,Pilot
617,00:12:18.389,00:12:19.625,"advanced, they had also halted",S01,E01,Pilot
618,00:12:19.750,00:12:21.195,"the aging process, and everyone",S01,E01,Pilot
619,00:12:21.320,00:12:22.325,"there was young, morty, and they",S01,E01,Pilot
620,00:12:22.450,00:12:23.595,had been forever.,S01,E01,Pilot
621,00:12:23.720,00:12:24.365,"i was the only old person there,",S01,E01,Pilot
622,00:12:24.490,00:12:25.264,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
623,00:12:25.389,00:12:26.394,it was [burps] like i was some,S01,E01,Pilot
624,00:12:26.519,00:12:27.365,"sort of, you know, celebrity,",S01,E01,Pilot
625,00:12:27.490,00:12:28.325,walking around.,S01,E01,Pilot
626,00:12:28.450,00:12:30.095,i-i was fascinating to them.,S01,E01,Pilot
627,00:12:30.220,00:12:31.465,there were a lot of attractive,S01,E01,Pilot
628,00:12:31.590,00:12:32.565,"women there, morty, and they",S01,E01,Pilot
629,00:12:32.690,00:12:33.325,they they they all wanted,S01,E01,Pilot
630,00:12:33.450,00:12:34.264,time with me.,S01,E01,Pilot
631,00:12:34.389,00:12:35.524,i had a lot of fun with a lot of,S01,E01,Pilot
632,00:12:35.649,00:12:36.595,"young ladies, but i spent so",S01,E01,Pilot
633,00:12:36.720,00:12:37.595,"much time there, my",S01,E01,Pilot
634,00:12:37.720,00:12:38.695,interdimensional portal,S01,E01,Pilot
635,00:12:38.820,00:12:39.424,device it's got no charge,S01,E01,Pilot
636,00:12:39.549,00:12:40.225,"left, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
637,00:12:40.350,00:12:40.995,it's got no charge left.,S01,E01,Pilot
638,00:12:41.120,00:12:41.664,>> morty: what?!,S01,E01,Pilot
639,00:12:41.789,00:12:42.424,>> rick: it's as good as,S01,E01,Pilot
640,00:12:42.549,00:12:43.294,"garbage, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
641,00:12:43.419,00:12:43.924,"it's not gonna work anymore,",S01,E01,Pilot
642,00:12:44.049,00:12:44.625,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
643,00:12:44.750,00:12:45.365,">> morty: oh, geez, rick, that's",S01,E01,Pilot
644,00:12:45.490,00:12:46.164,not good.,S01,E01,Pilot
645,00:12:46.289,00:12:47.264,w-what are we gonna do?,S01,E01,Pilot
646,00:12:47.389,00:12:48.095,i-i have to be back at school,S01,E01,Pilot
647,00:12:48.220,00:12:49.095,right now.,S01,E01,Pilot
648,00:12:49.220,00:12:50.225,how are we gonna get back home?,S01,E01,Pilot
649,00:12:50.350,00:12:51.225,>> rick: there's ways to get,S01,E01,Pilot
650,00:12:51.350,00:12:52.264,"back home, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
651,00:12:52.389,00:12:53.365,it's just it's just gonna be,S01,E01,Pilot
652,00:12:53.490,00:12:54.495,a little bit of a hassle.,S01,E01,Pilot
653,00:12:54.620,00:12:55.664,we're gonna have to go through,S01,E01,Pilot
654,00:12:55.789,00:12:57.065,"interdimensional customs, so",S01,E01,Pilot
655,00:12:57.190,00:12:57.965,you're gonna have to do me a,S01,E01,Pilot
656,00:12:58.090,00:12:58.524,real solid.,S01,E01,Pilot
657,00:12:58.649,00:12:59.625,>> morty: uh-oh.,S01,E01,Pilot
658,00:12:59.750,00:13:01.125,">> rick: when we get to customs,",S01,E01,Pilot
659,00:13:01.250,00:13:02.465,i'm gonna need you to take these,S01,E01,Pilot
660,00:13:02.590,00:13:03.764,"seeds into the bathroom, and i'm",S01,E01,Pilot
661,00:13:03.889,00:13:05.095,gonna need you to put them way,S01,E01,Pilot
662,00:13:05.220,00:13:06.065,"up inside your butthole, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
663,00:13:06.190,00:13:06.865,>> morty: in my butt?,S01,E01,Pilot
664,00:13:06.990,00:13:08.164,>> rick: put them way up inside,S01,E01,Pilot
665,00:13:08.289,00:13:09.164,"there, as far as they can fit.",S01,E01,Pilot
666,00:13:09.289,00:13:10.195,">> morty: oh, geez, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
667,00:13:10.320,00:13:10.894,i really don't want to have to,S01,E01,Pilot
668,00:13:11.019,00:13:11.625,do that.,S01,E01,Pilot
669,00:13:11.750,00:13:12.465,">> rick: well, somebody's got to",S01,E01,Pilot
670,00:13:12.590,00:13:13.465,"do it, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
671,00:13:13.590,00:13:14.595,th-these seeds aren't gonna get,S01,E01,Pilot
672,00:13:14.720,00:13:15.725,through customs unless they're,S01,E01,Pilot
673,00:13:15.850,00:13:16.924,"in someone's rectum, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
674,00:13:17.049,00:13:17.865,>> morty: [ whimpers ],S01,E01,Pilot
675,00:13:17.990,00:13:18.924,>> rick: and they'll fall right,S01,E01,Pilot
676,00:13:19.049,00:13:19.695,out of mine.,S01,E01,Pilot
677,00:13:19.820,00:13:20.664,"i've done this too many times,",S01,E01,Pilot
678,00:13:20.789,00:13:21.225,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
679,00:13:21.350,00:13:22.625,"i mean, you're young.",S01,E01,Pilot
680,00:13:22.750,00:13:24.095,you've got your whole life ahead,S01,E01,Pilot
681,00:13:24.220,00:13:25.195,"of you, and your anal cavity is",S01,E01,Pilot
682,00:13:25.320,00:13:26.325,"still taut, yet malleable.",S01,E01,Pilot
683,00:13:26.450,00:13:27.095,"you got to do it for grandpa,",S01,E01,Pilot
684,00:13:27.220,00:13:27.865,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
685,00:13:27.990,00:13:28.965,y-you've got to put these seeds,S01,E01,Pilot
686,00:13:29.090,00:13:29.625,inside your butt.,S01,E01,Pilot
687,00:13:29.750,00:13:30.495,>> morty: in my butt?,S01,E01,Pilot
688,00:13:30.620,00:13:31.325,">> rick: come on, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
689,00:13:31.450,00:13:32.195,"please, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
690,00:13:32.320,00:13:33.365,"you have to do it, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
691,00:13:33.490,00:13:34.365,">> morty: oh, man.",S01,E01,Pilot
692,00:13:34.490,00:13:35.625,[ school bell rings ],S01,E01,Pilot
693,00:13:35.750,00:13:37.195,">> the fact is, your son, morty,",S01,E01,Pilot
694,00:13:37.320,00:13:38.595,has attended this school for a,S01,E01,Pilot
695,00:13:38.720,00:13:39.965,total of seven hours over the,S01,E01,Pilot
696,00:13:40.090,00:13:40.825,last two months.,S01,E01,Pilot
697,00:13:40.950,00:13:41.595,>> beth: what?,S01,E01,Pilot
698,00:13:41.720,00:13:42.725,why didn't you notify us?,S01,E01,Pilot
699,00:13:42.850,00:13:44.095,>> i done been notifying you.,S01,E01,Pilot
700,00:13:44.220,00:13:45.365,have you not been getting the,S01,E01,Pilot
701,00:13:45.490,00:13:46.424,messages i've been leaving with,S01,E01,Pilot
702,00:13:46.549,00:13:47.294,morty's grandfather?,S01,E01,Pilot
703,00:13:47.419,00:13:48.225,>> jerry: boom!,S01,E01,Pilot
704,00:13:48.350,00:13:50.065,told you! in your face!,S01,E01,Pilot
705,00:13:50.190,00:13:52.024,he is ruining our child!,S01,E01,Pilot
706,00:13:52.149,00:13:52.995,"wait, what am i celebrating?",S01,E01,Pilot
707,00:13:53.120,00:13:53.695,">> yeah, see, i thought",S01,E01,Pilot
708,00:13:53.820,00:13:54.725,"something was fishy there,",S01,E01,Pilot
709,00:13:54.850,00:13:55.794,because it's usually morty's,S01,E01,Pilot
710,00:13:55.919,00:13:56.725,grandpa that's taking him out of,S01,E01,Pilot
711,00:13:56.850,00:13:57.294,school.,S01,E01,Pilot
712,00:13:57.419,00:13:58.465,>> beth: summer?,S01,E01,Pilot
713,00:13:58.590,00:13:59.995,>> summer: [ sobbing ] what kind,S01,E01,Pilot
714,00:14:00.120,00:14:01.294,of god lets this happen?,S01,E01,Pilot
715,00:14:01.419,00:14:02.664,>> we had a little incident.,S01,E01,Pilot
716,00:14:02.789,00:14:04.764,a student was frozen to death.,S01,E01,Pilot
717,00:14:04.889,00:14:06.394,and there's no evidence that a,S01,E01,Pilot
718,00:14:06.519,00:14:07.695,latino student did it!,S01,E01,Pilot
719,00:14:07.820,00:14:09.065,everyone wants to take this to a,S01,E01,Pilot
720,00:14:09.190,00:14:09.894,racial place.,S01,E01,Pilot
721,00:14:10.019,00:14:10.995,i won't let them.,S01,E01,Pilot
722,00:14:11.120,00:14:12.764,>> the glarp zone is for,S01,E01,Pilot
723,00:14:12.889,00:14:15.465,flarping and unglarping only.,S01,E01,Pilot
724,00:14:15.590,00:14:16.924,">> so, i told him, ""give me the",S01,E01,Pilot
725,00:14:17.049,00:14:17.825,"blimfarx,"" you know?",S01,E01,Pilot
726,00:14:17.950,00:14:19.125,this this guy he doesn't,S01,E01,Pilot
727,00:14:19.250,00:14:19.865,understand interstellar,S01,E01,Pilot
728,00:14:19.990,00:14:20.625,currency.,S01,E01,Pilot
729,00:14:20.750,00:14:21.865,">> it's, like, i'm trying to eat",S01,E01,Pilot
730,00:14:21.990,00:14:23.424,"a flimflam like, that's what",S01,E01,Pilot
731,00:14:23.549,00:14:24.664,we eat on girvonesk.,S01,E01,Pilot
732,00:14:24.789,00:14:26.294,>> the glarp zone is for,S01,E01,Pilot
733,00:14:26.419,00:14:27.365,flarping and unglarping only.,S01,E01,Pilot
734,00:14:27.490,00:14:28.095,">> rick: i don't like it here,",S01,E01,Pilot
735,00:14:28.220,00:14:28.695,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
736,00:14:28.820,00:14:30.095,i can't abide bureaucracy.,S01,E01,Pilot
737,00:14:30.220,00:14:31.065,i don't like being told where to,S01,E01,Pilot
738,00:14:31.190,00:14:32.024,go and what to do.,S01,E01,Pilot
739,00:14:32.149,00:14:33.225,i consider it a violation.,S01,E01,Pilot
740,00:14:33.350,00:14:34.195,did you get those seeds all the,S01,E01,Pilot
741,00:14:34.320,00:14:35.065,way up your butt?,S01,E01,Pilot
742,00:14:35.190,00:14:36.095,">> morty: yeah, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
743,00:14:36.220,00:14:36.865,"let's just get this over with,",S01,E01,Pilot
744,00:14:36.990,00:14:37.625,okay?,S01,E01,Pilot
745,00:14:37.750,00:14:38.424,"i mean, these things are pointy.",S01,E01,Pilot
746,00:14:38.549,00:14:39.465,they hurt.,S01,E01,Pilot
747,00:14:39.590,00:14:40.264,>> rick: that means they're good,S01,E01,Pilot
748,00:14:40.389,00:14:41.095,ones.,S01,E01,Pilot
749,00:14:41.220,00:14:42.095,"you're a good kid, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
750,00:14:42.220,00:14:43.325,those mega seeds are super,S01,E01,Pilot
751,00:14:43.450,00:14:44.595,valuable to my work.,S01,E01,Pilot
752,00:14:44.720,00:14:45.865,you've been a huge help to me.,S01,E01,Pilot
753,00:14:45.990,00:14:47.264,i'm gonna be able to do [burps],S01,E01,Pilot
754,00:14:47.389,00:14:49.225,all kind of things with them.,S01,E01,Pilot
755,00:14:49.350,00:14:50.424,"it's gonna be great, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
756,00:14:50.549,00:14:51.465,[ burps ] all kinds of science.,S01,E01,Pilot
757,00:14:51.590,00:14:53.365,">> okay, next through.",S01,E01,Pilot
758,00:14:53.490,00:14:54.424,except you. you go over there.,S01,E01,Pilot
759,00:14:54.549,00:14:55.125,>> rick: why does he have to go,S01,E01,Pilot
760,00:14:55.250,00:14:55.595,over there?,S01,E01,Pilot
761,00:14:55.720,00:14:56.524,>> random check.,S01,E01,Pilot
762,00:14:56.649,00:14:57.164,he's got to go through the new,S01,E01,Pilot
763,00:14:57.289,00:14:58.024,machine.,S01,E01,Pilot
764,00:14:58.149,00:14:58.625,>> rick: what new [burps],S01,E01,Pilot
765,00:14:58.750,00:14:59.424,what new machine?,S01,E01,Pilot
766,00:14:59.549,00:15:00.424,>> it's a new machine.,S01,E01,Pilot
767,00:15:00.549,00:15:01.095,it detects stuff all the way up,S01,E01,Pilot
768,00:15:01.220,00:15:01.695,your butt.,S01,E01,Pilot
769,00:15:01.820,00:15:03.225,">> rick: run, morty! run!",S01,E01,Pilot
770,00:15:03.350,00:15:04.264,>> morty: aah!,S01,E01,Pilot
771,00:15:04.389,00:15:05.294,>> red alert!,S01,E01,Pilot
772,00:15:05.419,00:15:09.365,[ alarms blaring ],S01,E01,Pilot
773,00:15:09.490,00:15:12.565,>> rick: [ grunts ],S01,E01,Pilot
774,00:15:12.690,00:15:13.995,>> [ screeching ],S01,E01,Pilot
775,00:15:18.019,00:15:21.919,>> morty: ohhhhh!,S01,E01,Pilot
776,00:15:22.220,00:15:23.325,[ coughs ],S01,E01,Pilot
777,00:15:23.450,00:15:24.565,>> [ crying ],S01,E01,Pilot
778,00:15:24.690,00:15:27.924,>> morty: [ coughing ],S01,E01,Pilot
779,00:15:28.049,00:15:29.894,>> hey! ohhhhhh.,S01,E01,Pilot
780,00:15:30.019,00:15:30.424,[ groans ],S01,E01,Pilot
781,00:15:30.549,00:15:31.424,>> morty: aah!,S01,E01,Pilot
782,00:15:31.549,00:15:35.164,>> rick: don't think about it!,S01,E01,Pilot
783,00:15:35.289,00:15:37.365,>> morty: ooh!,S01,E01,Pilot
784,00:15:37.490,00:15:39.024,[ shoes beeping ],S01,E01,Pilot
785,00:15:39.149,00:15:40.195,">> rick: oh, nice, morty!",S01,E01,Pilot
786,00:15:40.320,00:15:41.794,the student becomes the teacher.,S01,E01,Pilot
787,00:15:41.919,00:15:43.965,[ buzzing ],S01,E01,Pilot
788,00:15:44.090,00:15:48.264,[ both screaming ],S01,E01,Pilot
789,00:15:48.389,00:15:49.065,[ both grunt ],S01,E01,Pilot
790,00:15:49.190,00:15:51.065,>> morty: whoooooo!,S01,E01,Pilot
791,00:15:51.190,00:15:52.490,aah!,S01,E01,Pilot
792,00:15:54.190,00:15:55.264,">> aw, hell, no, dawg.",S01,E01,Pilot
793,00:15:55.389,00:15:56.164,you know me i'm just trying,S01,E01,Pilot
794,00:15:56.289,00:15:56.825,to,S01,E01,Pilot
795,00:15:56.950,00:15:58.125,>> morty: aah!,S01,E01,Pilot
796,00:16:01.350,00:16:02.394,>> rick: i need to type in the,S01,E01,Pilot
797,00:16:02.519,00:16:03.164,"coordinates to our home world,",S01,E01,Pilot
798,00:16:03.289,00:16:03.725,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
799,00:16:03.850,00:16:04.225,cover me.,S01,E01,Pilot
800,00:16:04.350,00:16:05.294,">> morty: oh, man.",S01,E01,Pilot
801,00:16:05.419,00:16:06.294,"i mean, you know, i-i don't want",S01,E01,Pilot
802,00:16:06.419,00:16:07.325,to shoot nobody.,S01,E01,Pilot
803,00:16:07.450,00:16:08.095,">> rick: they're just robots,",S01,E01,Pilot
804,00:16:08.220,00:16:08.664,morty!,S01,E01,Pilot
805,00:16:08.789,00:16:09.595,it's okay to shoot them!,S01,E01,Pilot
806,00:16:09.720,00:16:11.225,they're robots!,S01,E01,Pilot
807,00:16:11.350,00:16:13.164,>> aah!,S01,E01,Pilot
808,00:16:13.289,00:16:14.264,my leg is shot off!,S01,E01,Pilot
809,00:16:14.389,00:16:15.365,>> glenn's bleeding to death!,S01,E01,Pilot
810,00:16:15.490,00:16:16.225,someone call his wife and,S01,E01,Pilot
811,00:16:16.350,00:16:17.195,children!,S01,E01,Pilot
812,00:16:17.320,00:16:17.995,">> morty: they're not robots,",S01,E01,Pilot
813,00:16:18.120,00:16:18.625,rick!,S01,E01,Pilot
814,00:16:18.750,00:16:19.495,>> rick: it's a figure of,S01,E01,Pilot
815,00:16:19.620,00:16:20.394,"speech, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
816,00:16:20.519,00:16:21.394,they're bureaucrats.,S01,E01,Pilot
817,00:16:21.519,00:16:22.424,i don't respect them.,S01,E01,Pilot
818,00:16:22.549,00:16:23.625,"just keep shooting, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
819,00:16:23.750,00:16:24.764,you have no idea what prison is,S01,E01,Pilot
820,00:16:24.889,00:16:26.125,like here!,S01,E01,Pilot
821,00:16:29.149,00:16:29.865,>> morty: holy crap!,S01,E01,Pilot
822,00:16:29.990,00:16:31.264,this is insane!,S01,E01,Pilot
823,00:16:31.389,00:16:32.825,[ crowd screaming ],S01,E01,Pilot
824,00:16:41.250,00:16:42.095,">> rick: come on, morty!",S01,E01,Pilot
825,00:16:42.220,00:16:42.764,we got to get the hell out of,S01,E01,Pilot
826,00:16:42.889,00:16:44.389,here!,S01,E01,Pilot
827,00:16:45.250,00:16:47.894,[ all gasp ],S01,E01,Pilot
828,00:16:48.019,00:16:49.125,>> wow.,S01,E01,Pilot
829,00:16:49.250,00:16:50.394,did you just come into the,S01,E01,Pilot
830,00:16:50.519,00:16:51.524,cafeteria through a portal?,S01,E01,Pilot
831,00:16:51.649,00:16:52.995,">> morty: uh, yeah.",S01,E01,Pilot
832,00:16:53.120,00:16:54.625,"well, you know, my my",S01,E01,Pilot
833,00:16:54.750,00:16:55.565,ferrari's in the shop.,S01,E01,Pilot
834,00:16:55.690,00:16:56.394,[ chuckles nervously ],S01,E01,Pilot
835,00:16:56.519,00:16:57.294,ju just kidding.,S01,E01,Pilot
836,00:16:57.419,00:16:58.325,">> you're morty, right?",S01,E01,Pilot
837,00:16:58.450,00:16:59.294,>> morty: yeah.,S01,E01,Pilot
838,00:16:59.419,00:17:00.025,>> rick: you can get his number,S01,E01,Pilot
839,00:17:00.150,00:17:00.494,later.,S01,E01,Pilot
840,00:17:00.619,00:17:01.365,"come on, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
841,00:17:01.490,00:17:02.424,we got to get out of here.,S01,E01,Pilot
842,00:17:02.549,00:17:03.424,you got to get those seeds out,S01,E01,Pilot
843,00:17:03.549,00:17:04.365,of your ass.,S01,E01,Pilot
844,00:17:04.490,00:17:05.365,">> jerry: oh, look, honey.",S01,E01,Pilot
845,00:17:05.490,00:17:06.224,it's our son with,S01,E01,Pilot
846,00:17:06.349,00:17:07.065,albert ein-douche.,S01,E01,Pilot
847,00:17:07.190,00:17:08.095,>> beth: what?,S01,E01,Pilot
848,00:17:08.220,00:17:09.164,">> jerry: i'm an angry father,",S01,E01,Pilot
849,00:17:09.289,00:17:10.164,not an improvisor.,S01,E01,Pilot
850,00:17:10.289,00:17:11.664,">> rick: oh, hi, jerry.",S01,E01,Pilot
851,00:17:11.789,00:17:13.625,"oh, my goodness, morty!",S01,E01,Pilot
852,00:17:13.750,00:17:14.694,what are you doing out of class?,S01,E01,Pilot
853,00:17:14.819,00:17:15.724,we talked about this.,S01,E01,Pilot
854,00:17:15.849,00:17:17.125,your your parents and i are,S01,E01,Pilot
855,00:17:17.250,00:17:18.424,very disappointed in in this,S01,E01,Pilot
856,00:17:18.549,00:17:20.894,behavior.,S01,E01,Pilot
857,00:17:21.019,00:17:23.065,no? no takers?,S01,E01,Pilot
858,00:17:23.190,00:17:23.894,you guys should really not be,S01,E01,Pilot
859,00:17:24.019,00:17:24.625,touching that stuff.,S01,E01,Pilot
860,00:17:24.750,00:17:25.595,it's beyond your reasoning.,S01,E01,Pilot
861,00:17:25.720,00:17:26.224,>> jerry: you'rebeyond our,S01,E01,Pilot
862,00:17:26.349,00:17:27.125,reasoning!,S01,E01,Pilot
863,00:17:27.250,00:17:28.194,>> rick: takes one to know one.,S01,E01,Pilot
864,00:17:28.319,00:17:29.494,">> beth: dad, how could you make",S01,E01,Pilot
865,00:17:29.619,00:17:30.994,my son miss an entire semester,S01,E01,Pilot
866,00:17:31.119,00:17:31.795,of school?,S01,E01,Pilot
867,00:17:31.920,00:17:32.865,"i mean, it's not like he's a hot",S01,E01,Pilot
868,00:17:32.990,00:17:33.565,girl.,S01,E01,Pilot
869,00:17:33.690,00:17:34.694,he can't just bail on his life,S01,E01,Pilot
870,00:17:34.819,00:17:35.694,and set up shop in someone,S01,E01,Pilot
871,00:17:35.819,00:17:36.424,else's.,S01,E01,Pilot
872,00:17:36.549,00:17:37.525,>> rick: what what are you,S01,E01,Pilot
873,00:17:37.650,00:17:38.724,guys doing with my stuff?,S01,E01,Pilot
874,00:17:38.849,00:17:40.424,>> beth: we're moving you... to a,S01,E01,Pilot
875,00:17:40.549,00:17:41.295,nursing home.,S01,E01,Pilot
876,00:17:41.420,00:17:42.464,>> rick: a nursing home?,S01,E01,Pilot
877,00:17:42.589,00:17:43.394,"what are what are you, nuts?",S01,E01,Pilot
878,00:17:43.519,00:17:44.295,i'm a genius.,S01,E01,Pilot
879,00:17:44.420,00:17:45.365,i build robots for fun.,S01,E01,Pilot
880,00:17:45.490,00:17:46.394,">> jerry: well, now you can",S01,E01,Pilot
881,00:17:46.519,00:17:47.494,build baskets and watch,S01,E01,Pilot
882,00:17:47.619,00:17:49.394,paul newman movies on vhs and,S01,E01,Pilot
883,00:17:49.519,00:17:50.464,mentally scar the boy scouts,S01,E01,Pilot
884,00:17:50.589,00:17:51.365,every christmas.,S01,E01,Pilot
885,00:17:51.490,00:17:52.164,>> beth: what does that mean?,S01,E01,Pilot
886,00:17:52.289,00:17:53.095,>> jerry: it's personal.,S01,E01,Pilot
887,00:17:53.220,00:17:55.424,">> morty: dad, mom, c-come on.",S01,E01,Pilot
888,00:17:55.549,00:17:56.565,rick just needed my help is all.,S01,E01,Pilot
889,00:17:56.690,00:17:57.325,">> jerry: morty, stay out of",S01,E01,Pilot
890,00:17:57.450,00:17:58.265,this.,S01,E01,Pilot
891,00:17:58.390,00:17:59.464,you are obviously not capable of,S01,E01,Pilot
892,00:17:59.589,00:18:00.265,judging these situations on your,S01,E01,Pilot
893,00:18:00.390,00:18:01.194,own.,S01,E01,Pilot
894,00:18:01.319,00:18:02.095,>> rick: what are you trying to,S01,E01,Pilot
895,00:18:02.220,00:18:03.095,say about morty?,S01,E01,Pilot
896,00:18:03.220,00:18:04.295,that he's stupid or something?,S01,E01,Pilot
897,00:18:04.420,00:18:05.095,">> beth: oh, don't high-road us,",S01,E01,Pilot
898,00:18:05.220,00:18:06.065,dad.,S01,E01,Pilot
899,00:18:06.190,00:18:07.525,you know fully well that morty,S01,E01,Pilot
900,00:18:07.650,00:18:08.994,is the last child that needs to,S01,E01,Pilot
901,00:18:09.119,00:18:10.224,be missing classes.,S01,E01,Pilot
902,00:18:10.349,00:18:11.065,>> rick: i-i-i don't know what,S01,E01,Pilot
903,00:18:11.190,00:18:11.694,you mean by that.,S01,E01,Pilot
904,00:18:11.819,00:18:12.694,can can can you be a,S01,E01,Pilot
905,00:18:12.819,00:18:13.724,little bit more specific?,S01,E01,Pilot
906,00:18:13.849,00:18:14.625,">> jerry: oh, for crying out",S01,E01,Pilot
907,00:18:14.750,00:18:15.595,he's got some kind of,S01,E01,Pilot
908,00:18:15.720,00:18:16.724,disability or something.,S01,E01,Pilot
909,00:18:16.849,00:18:18.194,is that what you want us to say?,S01,E01,Pilot
910,00:18:18.319,00:18:19.664,>> morty: i do?,S01,E01,Pilot
911,00:18:19.789,00:18:21.224,">> jerry: well, duh doy, son.",S01,E01,Pilot
912,00:18:21.349,00:18:23.694,"look, i love you, morty, but we",S01,E01,Pilot
913,00:18:23.819,00:18:25.265,both know you're not as fast as,S01,E01,Pilot
914,00:18:25.390,00:18:26.595,"the other kids, and if you want",S01,E01,Pilot
915,00:18:26.720,00:18:28.025,"to compete in this world, you",S01,E01,Pilot
916,00:18:28.150,00:18:29.224,got to work twice as hard.,S01,E01,Pilot
917,00:18:29.349,00:18:30.865,">> morty: aw, geez, dad.",S01,E01,Pilot
918,00:18:30.990,00:18:32.125,"y-you know, that's a lot to drop",S01,E01,Pilot
919,00:18:32.250,00:18:33.224,on a kid all at once.,S01,E01,Pilot
920,00:18:33.349,00:18:34.424,">> rick: morty, t-tell your",S01,E01,Pilot
921,00:18:34.549,00:18:35.565,parents the square root of pi.,S01,E01,Pilot
922,00:18:35.690,00:18:36.565,">> morty: oh, come on, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
923,00:18:36.690,00:18:37.625,you know i can't.,S01,E01,Pilot
924,00:18:37.750,00:18:38.765,">> rick: the square root of pi,",S01,E01,Pilot
925,00:18:38.890,00:18:39.424,morty go.,S01,E01,Pilot
926,00:18:39.549,00:18:42.825,>> morty: 1.77245385.,S01,E01,Pilot
927,00:18:42.950,00:18:43.964,whoa!,S01,E01,Pilot
928,00:18:44.089,00:18:45.394,>> beth: what the hell?,S01,E01,Pilot
929,00:18:45.519,00:18:46.994,>> jerry: holy crap. he's right.,S01,E01,Pilot
930,00:18:47.119,00:18:48.194,">> rick: morty, tell your",S01,E01,Pilot
931,00:18:48.319,00:18:49.265,parents the first law of [burps],S01,E01,Pilot
932,00:18:49.390,00:18:50.295,thermodynamics.,S01,E01,Pilot
933,00:18:50.420,00:18:51.595,">> morty: ""the increment in the",S01,E01,Pilot
934,00:18:51.720,00:18:52.825,internal energy of a system is,S01,E01,Pilot
935,00:18:52.950,00:18:54.164,equal to the increment of heat,S01,E01,Pilot
936,00:18:54.289,00:18:55.394,"supplied to the system.""",S01,E01,Pilot
937,00:18:55.519,00:18:56.424,wow! i'm so smart!,S01,E01,Pilot
938,00:18:56.549,00:18:57.625,>> jerry: but,S01,E01,Pilot
939,00:18:57.750,00:18:59.164,>> rick: i told the both of,S01,E01,Pilot
940,00:18:59.289,00:19:00.365,you school is stupid.,S01,E01,Pilot
941,00:19:00.490,00:19:01.724,it's not how you learn things.,S01,E01,Pilot
942,00:19:01.849,00:19:02.964,morty's a gifted child.,S01,E01,Pilot
943,00:19:03.089,00:19:04.095,he has a special mind.,S01,E01,Pilot
944,00:19:04.220,00:19:04.964,that's why he's my little,S01,E01,Pilot
945,00:19:05.089,00:19:05.894,helper.,S01,E01,Pilot
946,00:19:06.019,00:19:06.994,he's like me.,S01,E01,Pilot
947,00:19:07.119,00:19:08.424,he's gonna be doing great,S01,E01,Pilot
948,00:19:08.549,00:19:10.125,science stuff later in his life.,S01,E01,Pilot
949,00:19:10.250,00:19:11.424,he's too smart for school.,S01,E01,Pilot
950,00:19:11.549,00:19:13.295,h-he needs to keep hanging out,S01,E01,Pilot
951,00:19:13.420,00:19:14.795,[burps] and helping me.,S01,E01,Pilot
952,00:19:14.920,00:19:16.194,">> beth: jerry, i don't want",S01,E01,Pilot
953,00:19:16.319,00:19:17.025,whatever's happening here to,S01,E01,Pilot
954,00:19:17.150,00:19:17.765,stop.,S01,E01,Pilot
955,00:19:17.890,00:19:19.125,">> jerry: no, i-i understand.",S01,E01,Pilot
956,00:19:19.250,00:19:21.724,"uh, maybe we overreacted.",S01,E01,Pilot
957,00:19:21.849,00:19:23.295,but he has to keep going to,S01,E01,Pilot
958,00:19:23.420,00:19:24.125,school.,S01,E01,Pilot
959,00:19:24.250,00:19:25.325,">> rick: okay, jerry.",S01,E01,Pilot
960,00:19:25.450,00:19:26.595,"you drive a hard bargain, but",S01,E01,Pilot
961,00:19:26.720,00:19:27.724,[burps] what am i supposed to,S01,E01,Pilot
962,00:19:27.849,00:19:28.295,do?,S01,E01,Pilot
963,00:19:28.420,00:19:29.565,say [burps] say no?,S01,E01,Pilot
964,00:19:29.690,00:19:30.525,you you really wear the pants,S01,E01,Pilot
965,00:19:30.650,00:19:31.565,around here.,S01,E01,Pilot
966,00:19:31.690,00:19:32.765,"i just want you to know, between",S01,E01,Pilot
967,00:19:32.890,00:19:34.194,"us, from now on, it's gonna be",S01,E01,Pilot
968,00:19:34.319,00:19:36.164,"100% honesty and open, clear",S01,E01,Pilot
969,00:19:36.289,00:19:37.224,communication.,S01,E01,Pilot
970,00:19:37.349,00:19:38.464,>> summer: frank palicky was,S01,E01,Pilot
971,00:19:38.589,00:19:39.664,frozen to death today!,S01,E01,Pilot
972,00:19:39.789,00:19:40.394,>> rick: no idea what you're,S01,E01,Pilot
973,00:19:40.519,00:19:41.125,talking about.,S01,E01,Pilot
974,00:19:41.250,00:19:41.865,>> summer: [ sobbing ],S01,E01,Pilot
975,00:19:41.990,00:19:42.494,>> jerry: okay.,S01,E01,Pilot
976,00:19:42.619,00:19:44.525,"well, uh, morty, it's your",S01,E01,Pilot
977,00:19:44.650,00:19:45.765,bedtime in an hour.,S01,E01,Pilot
978,00:19:45.890,00:19:47.295,don't stay up all night again.,S01,E01,Pilot
979,00:19:47.420,00:19:48.325,"this is good, though.",S01,E01,Pilot
980,00:19:48.450,00:19:49.724,this can work.,S01,E01,Pilot
981,00:19:49.849,00:19:52.494,i think we can be a family.,S01,E01,Pilot
982,00:19:52.619,00:19:54.194,"and now, beth, if you'll have",S01,E01,Pilot
983,00:19:54.319,00:19:56.565,"me, i would love to have you.",S01,E01,Pilot
984,00:19:56.690,00:19:57.765,>> beth: you know what?,S01,E01,Pilot
985,00:19:57.890,00:19:59.365,okay.,S01,E01,Pilot
986,00:19:59.490,00:20:00.565,">> morty: holy cow, rick.",S01,E01,Pilot
987,00:20:00.690,00:20:01.694,i didn't know hanging out with,S01,E01,Pilot
988,00:20:01.819,00:20:03.025,you was making me smarter.,S01,E01,Pilot
989,00:20:03.150,00:20:04.025,">> rick: full disclosure,",S01,E01,Pilot
990,00:20:04.150,00:20:05.664,morty it's not.,S01,E01,Pilot
991,00:20:05.789,00:20:07.194,temporary superintelligence is,S01,E01,Pilot
992,00:20:07.319,00:20:08.565,just a side effect of the mega,S01,E01,Pilot
993,00:20:08.690,00:20:09.724,seeds dissolving in your rectal,S01,E01,Pilot
994,00:20:09.849,00:20:10.295,cavity.,S01,E01,Pilot
995,00:20:10.420,00:20:11.424,">> morty: aw, man.",S01,E01,Pilot
996,00:20:11.549,00:20:12.765,">> rick: yeah, and once those",S01,E01,Pilot
997,00:20:12.890,00:20:14.164,"seeds [burps] wear off, you're",S01,E01,Pilot
998,00:20:14.289,00:20:15.194,gonna lose most of your motor,S01,E01,Pilot
999,00:20:15.319,00:20:16.565,"skills, and you're also gonna",S01,E01,Pilot
1000,00:20:16.690,00:20:18.025,lose a significant amount of,S01,E01,Pilot
1001,00:20:18.150,00:20:19.095,brain functionality for 72,S01,E01,Pilot
1002,00:20:19.220,00:20:20.365,"hours, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1003,00:20:20.490,00:20:21.825,starting [burps] right about,S01,E01,Pilot
1004,00:20:21.950,00:20:22.394,now.,S01,E01,Pilot
1005,00:20:22.519,00:20:23.464,">> morty: ohh, man.",S01,E01,Pilot
1006,00:20:23.589,00:20:25.525,"[ groaning ] oh, geez! ohh.",S01,E01,Pilot
1007,00:20:25.650,00:20:26.494,">> rick: i'm sorry, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1008,00:20:26.619,00:20:27.525,it's a bummer.,S01,E01,Pilot
1009,00:20:27.650,00:20:28.394,"in reality, you're as dumb as",S01,E01,Pilot
1010,00:20:28.519,00:20:29.394,they come.,S01,E01,Pilot
1011,00:20:29.519,00:20:30.595,and i needed those seeds real,S01,E01,Pilot
1012,00:20:30.720,00:20:32.095,"bad, and i had to give them up",S01,E01,Pilot
1013,00:20:32.220,00:20:33.365,just to get your parents off my,S01,E01,Pilot
1014,00:20:33.490,00:20:34.365,"back, so now we're gonna have to",S01,E01,Pilot
1015,00:20:34.490,00:20:35.394,go get more.,S01,E01,Pilot
1016,00:20:35.519,00:20:36.565,and then we're gonna go on even,S01,E01,Pilot
1017,00:20:36.690,00:20:37.365,"more adventures after that,",S01,E01,Pilot
1018,00:20:37.490,00:20:38.365,morty.,S01,E01,Pilot
1019,00:20:38.490,00:20:39.595,and you're gonna keep your mouth,S01,E01,Pilot
1020,00:20:39.720,00:20:41.194,"shut about it, morty, because",S01,E01,Pilot
1021,00:20:41.319,00:20:42.224,the world is full of idiots that,S01,E01,Pilot
1022,00:20:42.349,00:20:43.265,don't understand what's,S01,E01,Pilot
1023,00:20:43.390,00:20:44.125,"important, and they'll tear us",S01,E01,Pilot
1024,00:20:44.250,00:20:45.424,"apart, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1025,00:20:45.549,00:20:46.724,"but if you stick with me, i'm",S01,E01,Pilot
1026,00:20:46.849,00:20:47.795,"gonna accomplish great things,",S01,E01,Pilot
1027,00:20:47.920,00:20:49.065,"morty, and you're gonna be part",S01,E01,Pilot
1028,00:20:49.190,00:20:49.994,"of them, and together, we're",S01,E01,Pilot
1029,00:20:50.119,00:20:51.025,"gonna run around, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1030,00:20:51.150,00:20:51.724,we're gonna do all kinds of,S01,E01,Pilot
1031,00:20:51.849,00:20:52.664,"wonderful things, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1032,00:20:52.789,00:20:53.525,"just you and me, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1033,00:20:53.650,00:20:54.525,">> morty: oh, no, no.",S01,E01,Pilot
1034,00:20:54.650,00:20:55.365,>> rick: the outside world is,S01,E01,Pilot
1035,00:20:55.490,00:20:56.825,"our enemy, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1036,00:20:56.950,00:20:57.964,we're the only [burps] friends,S01,E01,Pilot
1037,00:20:58.089,00:20:59.025,"we've got, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1038,00:20:59.150,00:21:00.295,it's just rick and morty,S01,E01,Pilot
1039,00:21:00.420,00:21:01.295,[burps] rick and morty and their,S01,E01,Pilot
1040,00:21:01.420,00:21:02.494,"adventures, morty.",S01,E01,Pilot
1041,00:21:02.619,00:21:03.224,rick and morty forever and,S01,E01,Pilot
1042,00:21:03.349,00:21:04.164,forever.,S01,E01,Pilot
1043,00:21:04.289,00:21:05.194,"100 years, rick and morty's",S01,E01,Pilot
1044,00:21:05.319,00:21:06.224,things.,S01,E01,Pilot
1045,00:21:06.349,00:21:07.595,me and rick and morty running,S01,E01,Pilot
1046,00:21:07.720,00:21:10.224,"around, and rick and morty time.",S01,E01,Pilot
1047,00:21:10.349,00:21:11.924,"all day long, forever.",S01,E01,Pilot
1048,00:21:12.049,00:21:13.494,all a hundred days.,S01,E01,Pilot
1049,00:21:13.619,00:21:14.365,rick and morty forever 100,S01,E01,Pilot
1050,00:21:14.490,00:21:15.164,times.,S01,E01,Pilot
1051,00:21:15.289,00:21:16.394,"over and over,",S01,E01,Pilot
1052,00:21:16.519,00:21:18.394,rickandmortyadventures.com.,S01,E01,Pilot
1053,00:21:18.519,00:21:21.525,www.rickandmorty.com.,S01,E01,Pilot
1054,00:21:21.650,00:21:23.825,www.rickandmortyadventures.,S01,E01,Pilot
1055,00:21:23.950,00:21:25.595,all 100 years.,S01,E01,Pilot
1056,00:21:25.720,00:21:28.194,"every minute, rickandmorty.com.",S01,E01,Pilot
1057,00:21:28.319,00:21:31.249,www.100timesrickandmorty.com.,S01,E01,Pilot
1,00:00:35.940,00:00:36.715,>> coin collecting is consided,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
2,00:00:36.840,00:00:37.715,the perfect hobby.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
3,00:00:37.840,00:00:38.575,>>... beautiful putt right,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
4,00:00:38.700,00:00:39.475,there good birdie.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
5,00:00:39.600,00:00:40.675,that's only the... eighth,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
6,00:00:40.800,00:00:41.615,birdie of the day.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
7,00:00:41.740,00:00:43.275,>> jerry: what?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
8,00:00:43.400,00:00:44.415,why are you looking at me?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
9,00:00:44.540,00:00:45.815,you want to go outside?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
10,00:00:45.940,00:00:47.245,outside?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
11,00:00:47.370,00:00:48.345,[ tv shuts off ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
12,00:00:48.470,00:00:49.975,[ sighs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
13,00:00:50.100,00:00:51.269,outside?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
14,00:00:57.400,00:00:58.245,are you kidding me?! come on!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
15,00:00:58.370,00:00:59.275,">> summer: oh, my god.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
16,00:00:59.400,00:01:00.275,>> morty: w-what's wrong?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
17,00:01:00.400,00:01:01.445,>> jerry: your idiot dog!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
18,00:01:01.570,00:01:02.315,">> morty: oh, he he didn't",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
19,00:01:02.440,00:01:03.075,"mean it, dad.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
20,00:01:03.200,00:01:04.145,"d-did you, snuffles?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
21,00:01:04.270,00:01:05.215,you're a good boy.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
22,00:01:05.340,00:01:06.299,">> jerry: don't praise him now,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
23,00:01:06.000,00:01:06.875,morty!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
24,00:01:07.000,00:01:08.114,he just peed on the carpet!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
25,00:01:08.239,00:01:08.775,bad dog! bad!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
26,00:01:08.900,00:01:09.775,">> rick: morty, come on.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
27,00:01:09.900,00:01:10.875,i need your help tonight.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
28,00:01:11.000,00:01:11.974,">> jerry: hey, wait, hold on a",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
29,00:01:12.099,00:01:12.745,"second, rick.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
30,00:01:12.870,00:01:13.944,you wouldn't by any chance have,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
31,00:01:14.069,00:01:15.245,some sort of crazy science thing,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
32,00:01:15.370,00:01:16.375,you could whip up that might,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
33,00:01:16.500,00:01:17.275,help make this dog a little,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
34,00:01:17.400,00:01:18.315,"smarter, would you?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
35,00:01:18.440,00:01:19.375,>> rick: i thought the whole,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
36,00:01:19.500,00:01:20.375,point of having a dog was to,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
37,00:01:20.500,00:01:21.415,"feel superior, jerry.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
38,00:01:21.540,00:01:22.245,"if i were you, i wouldn't pull",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
39,00:01:22.370,00:01:22.944,that thread.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
40,00:01:23.069,00:01:23.645,"come on, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
41,00:01:23.770,00:01:24.944,">> jerry: listen, rick, if",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
42,00:01:25.069,00:01:26.545,you're gonna stay here rent-free,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
43,00:01:26.670,00:01:28.415,and use my son for your stupid,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
44,00:01:28.540,00:01:29.745,"science, the least you could do",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
45,00:01:29.870,00:01:31.015,is put a little bit of it to use,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
46,00:01:31.140,00:01:32.545,for the family.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
47,00:01:32.670,00:01:34.345,you make that dog smart or...,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
48,00:01:34.470,00:01:35.145,morty's grounded!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
49,00:01:35.270,00:01:35.875,>> summer: ha-ha!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
50,00:01:36.000,00:01:36.875,">> morty: aw, man!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
51,00:01:37.000,00:01:38.215,">> rick: boy, you really got me",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
52,00:01:38.340,00:01:38.944,"up against a wall this time,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
53,00:01:39.069,00:01:39.645,jerry.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
54,00:01:39.770,00:01:40.545,"[ door opens, bells jingle ]",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
55,00:01:40.670,00:01:41.969,[ machine whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
56,00:01:44.540,00:01:45.345,"all right, ruffles",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
57,00:01:45.470,00:01:46.175,what's his name?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
58,00:01:46.300,00:01:46.845,>> morty: snuffles.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
59,00:01:46.970,00:01:49.015,">> rick: snuffles, shake.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
60,00:01:49.140,00:01:51.045,roll over.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
61,00:01:51.170,00:01:54.045,go to the bathroom.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
62,00:01:54.170,00:01:55.045,[ toilet flushes ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
63,00:01:55.170,00:01:55.974,>> jerry: holy crap!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
64,00:01:56.099,00:01:56.944,>> summer: no way.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
65,00:01:57.069,00:01:58.345,">> rick: yeah, you're at the top",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
66,00:01:58.470,00:01:59.915,"of your game now, jerry.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
67,00:02:00.040,00:02:01.075,have fun.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
68,00:02:01.200,00:02:01.815,"come on, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
69,00:02:01.940,00:02:02.545,">> morty: that was fantastic,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
70,00:02:02.670,00:02:03.415,rick!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
71,00:02:03.540,00:02:04.545,">> rick: yeah, morty, if you",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
72,00:02:04.670,00:02:05.775,"like that, boy, you're you're",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
73,00:02:05.900,00:02:06.645,really going to flip your lid,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
74,00:02:06.770,00:02:07.614,over this one.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
75,00:02:07.739,00:02:08.645,>> morty: w-w-w-what is it?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
76,00:02:08.770,00:02:09.745,">> rick: it's a device, morty,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
77,00:02:09.870,00:02:10.775,that when you put it in your,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
78,00:02:10.900,00:02:12.014,"ear, you can enter people's",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
79,00:02:12.139,00:02:12.775,"dreams, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
80,00:02:12.900,00:02:13.845,it's just like that movie that,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
81,00:02:13.970,00:02:14.875,you keep crowing about.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
82,00:02:15.000,00:02:15.675,>> morty: you talking about,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
83,00:02:15.800,00:02:16.615,"""inception""?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
84,00:02:16.740,00:02:17.715,">> rick: that's right, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
85,00:02:17.840,00:02:18.775,this is gonna be a lot like,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
86,00:02:18.900,00:02:19.845,"that, except, you know, it's",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
87,00:02:19.970,00:02:20.845,gonna [burps] maybe make sense.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
88,00:02:20.970,00:02:21.414,">> morty: ""inception"" made",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
89,00:02:21.539,00:02:22.315,sense.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
90,00:02:22.440,00:02:23.175,>> rick: you don't have to try,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
91,00:02:23.300,00:02:23.944,"to impress me, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
92,00:02:24.069,00:02:24.875,"listen, tonight we're gonna go",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
93,00:02:25.000,00:02:25.875,into the home of your math,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
94,00:02:26.000,00:02:26.875,"teacher, mr. goldenfold, and",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
95,00:02:27.000,00:02:28.414,we're g we're gonna incept the,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
96,00:02:28.539,00:02:29.474,idea in his brain to give you,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
97,00:02:29.599,00:02:30.615,"a's in math, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
98,00:02:30.740,00:02:31.845,"that way you can, you know",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
99,00:02:31.970,00:02:33.315,y-you're gonna help me with my,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
100,00:02:33.440,00:02:34.574,"science, morty, all the time.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
101,00:02:34.699,00:02:35.645,">> morty: geez, rick, in the",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
102,00:02:35.770,00:02:36.745,time it took you to make this,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
103,00:02:36.870,00:02:37.775,"thing, couldn't you have just,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
104,00:02:37.900,00:02:38.574,"you know, helped me with my",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
105,00:02:38.699,00:02:39.474,homework?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
106,00:02:39.599,00:02:40.275,>> rick: are you listening to,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
107,00:02:40.400,00:02:40.815,"me, morty?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
108,00:02:40.940,00:02:41.845,homework is stupid.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
109,00:02:41.970,00:02:42.845,the whole point is to get less,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
110,00:02:42.970,00:02:43.544,of it.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
111,00:02:43.669,00:02:44.775,"j-j come on, let j let's",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
112,00:02:44.900,00:02:45.745,just get over there and deal,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
113,00:02:45.870,00:02:46.745,with this thing.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
114,00:02:46.870,00:02:47.574,w-we're gonna incept your,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
115,00:02:47.699,00:02:48.544,teacher.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
116,00:02:48.669,00:02:50.145,y-y-y-y-y-you're frustrating me.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
117,00:02:50.270,00:02:51.499,[ engine turns over ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
118,00:02:54.569,00:02:56.315,>> you don't know me!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
119,00:02:56.440,00:02:58.074,">> nice, mrs. pancakes real",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
120,00:02:58.199,00:02:59.544,nice.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
121,00:02:59.669,00:03:01.375,">> next week on ""the days and",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
122,00:03:01.500,00:03:02.315,"nights of mrs. pancakes""...",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
123,00:03:02.440,00:03:03.615,>> [ snoring ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
124,00:03:03.740,00:03:04.914,>> you don't know me!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
125,00:03:05.039,00:03:06.275,">> then let me get to know yo,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
126,00:03:06.400,00:03:07.275,damn it!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
127,00:03:07.400,00:03:08.974,>> rick: uh-oh! spoilers!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
128,00:03:09.099,00:03:10.345,i'm a full season behind.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
129,00:03:10.470,00:03:11.544,">> morty: wow, rick, i can't",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
130,00:03:11.669,00:03:12.514,"believe we're sitting around,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
131,00:03:12.639,00:03:13.444,standing around in,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
132,00:03:13.569,00:03:14.315,mr. goldenfold's house.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
133,00:03:14.440,00:03:15.145,it's really weird.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
134,00:03:15.270,00:03:15.944,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
135,00:03:16.069,00:03:16.974,>> rick: it's about to get a,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
136,00:03:17.099,00:03:18.145,"whole lot weirder, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
137,00:03:18.270,00:03:19.570,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
138,00:03:21.470,00:03:22.471,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
139,00:03:24.470,00:03:25.345,[ indistinct conversations ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
140,00:03:25.470,00:03:27.345,>> wheat thins. wheat thins.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
141,00:03:27.470,00:03:28.615,>> i'll take two.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
142,00:03:28.740,00:03:29.675,">> oh, i think you've had",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
143,00:03:29.800,00:03:30.675,"enough, sir.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
144,00:03:30.800,00:03:32.215,>> you don't know me.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
145,00:03:32.340,00:03:34.444,[ both laugh ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
146,00:03:34.569,00:03:35.375,">> rick: all right, morty,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
147,00:03:35.500,00:03:36.375,time to make our move.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
148,00:03:36.500,00:03:37.375,>> make it bounce.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
149,00:03:37.500,00:03:38.414,">> no, you didn't.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
150,00:03:38.539,00:03:39.645,">> oh, jiggle it now.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
151,00:03:39.770,00:03:41.014,>> you better stop with that.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
152,00:03:41.139,00:03:43.715,>> rick: allahu [burps] akbar!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
153,00:03:43.840,00:03:44.444,we're gonna take control of this,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
154,00:03:44.569,00:03:45.275,plane!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
155,00:03:45.400,00:03:46.345,we're gonna 9/11 it unless,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
156,00:03:46.470,00:03:47.115,morty smith gets better grades,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
157,00:03:47.240,00:03:48.074,in math!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
158,00:03:48.199,00:03:49.715,"hey! i said nobody move, buddy!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
159,00:03:49.840,00:03:50.745,>> the name's not buddy.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
160,00:03:50.870,00:03:52.514,it's goldenfold.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
161,00:03:52.639,00:03:53.544,nice to wheat you!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
162,00:03:53.669,00:03:56.169,[ grunts ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
163,00:03:56.639,00:03:57.914,">> rick: take cover, morty!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
164,00:03:58.039,00:03:59.275,[ passengers screaming ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
165,00:03:59.400,00:04:00.375,>> [ screams ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
166,00:04:00.500,00:04:01.715,>> morty: ooh!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
167,00:04:01.840,00:04:02.845,>> rick: goldenfold's got more,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
168,00:04:02.970,00:04:03.875,control here than i anticipated.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
169,00:04:04.000,00:04:04.745,"i mean, the guy teaches",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
170,00:04:04.870,00:04:05.375,high-school math.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
171,00:04:05.500,00:04:06.074,[ burps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
172,00:04:06.199,00:04:07.375,i-i-i-i didn't take him for an,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
173,00:04:07.500,00:04:08.414,active dreamer.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
174,00:04:08.539,00:04:09.414,we got to take him out so he,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
175,00:04:09.539,00:04:10.444,"wakes up, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
176,00:04:10.569,00:04:11.544,but we can't get killed.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
177,00:04:11.669,00:04:12.775,if you get killed in someone,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
178,00:04:12.900,00:04:13.574,"else's dream, you die for real,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
179,00:04:13.699,00:04:14.315,morty.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
180,00:04:14.440,00:04:14.944,>> morty: what?!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
181,00:04:15.069,00:04:15.675,are you kidding me?!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
182,00:04:15.800,00:04:17.045,ohhhhhh!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
183,00:04:17.170,00:04:18.375,>> rick: don't be a baby!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
184,00:04:18.500,00:04:19.415,you avoid getting shot in real,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
185,00:04:19.540,00:04:20.574,"life all the time, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
186,00:04:20.699,00:04:21.475,"just do the same thing here, and",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
187,00:04:21.600,00:04:22.574,we'll be fine!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
188,00:04:22.699,00:04:23.644,>> jerry: now bring me my,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
189,00:04:23.769,00:04:25.444,slippers.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
190,00:04:25.569,00:04:27.338,">> summer: now, be my footstool,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
191,00:04:27.000,00:04:27.875,snuffles.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
192,00:04:28.000,00:04:28.714,>> jerry: this is what i'm,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
193,00:04:28.839,00:04:29.774,talking about.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
194,00:04:29.899,00:04:30.774,thisis a dog.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
195,00:04:30.899,00:04:31.975,">> beth: [ sarcastically ] oh,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
196,00:04:32.100,00:04:32.745,yeah.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
197,00:04:32.870,00:04:34.045,this should play out just fine.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
198,00:04:34.170,00:04:35.574,>> jerry: you said the same,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
199,00:04:35.699,00:04:37.415,"thing, equally sarcastically, at",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
200,00:04:37.540,00:04:39.039,our wedding and guess what.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
201,00:04:44.639,00:04:47.514,>> [ howling ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
202,00:04:47.639,00:04:48.475,">> summer: oh, my god.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
203,00:04:48.600,00:04:49.398,he's trying to tell us,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
204,00:04:49.000,00:04:49.875,something.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
205,00:04:50.000,00:04:51.315,that is so awesome.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
206,00:04:51.440,00:04:53.714,>> [ howling ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
207,00:04:53.839,00:04:55.345,">> jerry: aw, he's saying ""i",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
208,00:04:55.470,00:04:56.345,"love lasagna.""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
209,00:04:56.470,00:04:57.315,>> [ groans ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
210,00:04:57.440,00:05:00.115,[ howling ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
211,00:05:00.240,00:05:01.315,">> summer: he's saying ""i love",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
212,00:05:01.440,00:05:02.045,"obama.""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
213,00:05:02.170,00:05:02.644,[ camera shutter clicks ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
214,00:05:02.769,00:05:03.675,so cute!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
215,00:05:03.800,00:05:04.514,"i'm posting this online, like,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
216,00:05:04.639,00:05:05.375,right now.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
217,00:05:05.500,00:05:06.144,>> jerry: i should call,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
218,00:05:06.269,00:05:07.375,bob saget.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
219,00:05:07.500,00:05:08.574,is that still a thing?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
220,00:05:08.699,00:05:09.739,>> [ sighs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
221,00:05:17.870,00:05:19.170,hmm?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
222,00:05:26.540,00:05:27.074,[ passengers screaming ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
223,00:05:27.199,00:05:28.144,">> rick: goldenfold, we're",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
224,00:05:28.269,00:05:28.745,coming out!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
225,00:05:28.870,00:05:29.845,we just want to talk!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
226,00:05:29.970,00:05:30.615,>> why would i negotiate with,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
227,00:05:30.740,00:05:31.475,you?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
228,00:05:31.600,00:05:32.714,>> rick: because we're both,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
229,00:05:32.839,00:05:33.915,rational adults that don't want,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
230,00:05:34.040,00:05:35.074,anything bad to happen.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
231,00:05:35.199,00:05:36.144,and because i have a human,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
232,00:05:36.269,00:05:36.745,shld.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
233,00:05:36.870,00:05:38.144,>> mrs. pancakes!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
234,00:05:38.269,00:05:39.345,[ screams ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
235,00:05:39.470,00:05:40.845,[ passengers screaming ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
236,00:05:40.970,00:05:42.175,">> rick: oh, no, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
237,00:05:42.300,00:05:43.475,his subconscious is panicking.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
238,00:05:43.600,00:05:45.444,>> run!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
239,00:05:45.569,00:05:49.469,[ all screaming ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
240,00:05:52.670,00:05:53.375,[ slap! ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
241,00:05:53.500,00:05:54.115,">> rick: relax, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
242,00:05:54.240,00:05:54.815,look!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
243,00:05:54.940,00:05:55.644,mrs. pancakes has a parachute.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
244,00:05:55.769,00:05:57.644,come on!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
245,00:05:57.769,00:05:59.514,">> hey, you don't know me!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
246,00:05:59.639,00:06:00.745,">> morty: oh, no, rick, look!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
247,00:06:00.870,00:06:02.045,"goldenfold landed the plane,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
248,00:06:02.170,00:06:03.245,and he's created a mechanical,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
249,00:06:03.370,00:06:04.774,arm to pluck mrs. pancakes out,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
250,00:06:04.899,00:06:06.045,of the air while he lets us fall,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
251,00:06:06.170,00:06:07.274,into a giant vat of lava!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
252,00:06:07.399,00:06:08.644,">> rick: pretty concise, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
253,00:06:08.769,00:06:09.774,looks like we've merely,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
254,00:06:09.899,00:06:10.745,prolonged the inevitable.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
255,00:06:10.870,00:06:11.815,"that's it, morty!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
256,00:06:11.940,00:06:12.915,prolonging the inevitable!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
257,00:06:13.040,00:06:14.245,"listen, if we go into",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
258,00:06:14.370,00:06:15.714,"mrs. pancakes' dream, everything",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
259,00:06:15.839,00:06:16.875,"will go 100 times slower, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
260,00:06:17.000,00:06:17.774,that'll buy us some time to,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
261,00:06:17.899,00:06:18.644,figure this out!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
262,00:06:18.769,00:06:21.944,>> you don't know m,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
263,00:06:22.069,00:06:23.444,">> rick: all right, let's go.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
264,00:06:23.569,00:06:24.915,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
265,00:06:25.040,00:06:26.638,[ upbeat music plays ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
266,00:06:29.199,00:06:30.274,[ gnomes giggling ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
267,00:06:30.399,00:06:31.475,">> morty: oh, man, rick, this is",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
268,00:06:31.600,00:06:32.214,pretty weird.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
269,00:06:32.339,00:06:33.345,">> rick: don't judge, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
270,00:06:33.470,00:06:34.014,>> morty: okay.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
271,00:06:34.139,00:06:34.845,"all right, well...",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
272,00:06:34.970,00:06:35.875,>> [ grunting ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
273,00:06:36.000,00:06:36.875,">> morty: look, mrs. pancakes is",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
274,00:06:37.000,00:06:37.875,right over there.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
275,00:06:38.000,00:06:39.074,i'll just go ask her to tell,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
276,00:06:39.199,00:06:40.245,goldenfold not to kill us when,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
277,00:06:40.370,00:06:41.074,she wakes up.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
278,00:06:41.199,00:06:42.545,">> rick: whoa, whoa, morty, the",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
279,00:06:42.670,00:06:43.774,trick to incepting is making,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
280,00:06:43.899,00:06:44.745,people think theycame up with,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
281,00:06:44.870,00:06:45.644,the idea.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
282,00:06:45.769,00:06:46.714,listen to me.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
283,00:06:46.839,00:06:47.875,if we're gonna incept,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
284,00:06:48.000,00:06:49.875,"mrs. pancakes, we have to blend.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
285,00:06:50.000,00:06:50.915,i'll talk to you after lunch.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
286,00:06:51.040,00:06:52.444,[ gnomes giggling ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
287,00:06:52.569,00:06:54.415,">> ooh, hey!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
288,00:06:54.540,00:06:55.444,>> morty: [ whimpers ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
289,00:06:55.569,00:06:56.045,">> ooh, oh!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
290,00:06:56.170,00:06:56.944,">> morty: oh, man.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
291,00:06:57.069,00:06:58.045,>> come and join us.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
292,00:06:58.170,00:06:59.315,">> morty: i'm sorry. no, no.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
293,00:06:59.440,00:07:00.074,">> ooh, come here!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
294,00:07:00.199,00:07:00.944,">> morty: no, thanks!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
295,00:07:01.069,00:07:01.815,">> ooh, wow!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
296,00:07:01.940,00:07:02.845,"come over here, baby!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
297,00:07:02.970,00:07:04.915,">> morty: no, i'm okay.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
298,00:07:05.040,00:07:06.540,whoa!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
299,00:07:07.040,00:07:08.545,summer?!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
300,00:07:08.670,00:07:09.714,">> hey, there, stranger.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
301,00:07:09.839,00:07:10.615,what do you think of these,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
302,00:07:10.740,00:07:11.245,things?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
303,00:07:11.370,00:07:12.915,>> morty: ohh! oh! gross!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
304,00:07:13.040,00:07:13.845,gross!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
305,00:07:13.970,00:07:15.115,">> rick: whoa, whoa, whoa!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
306,00:07:15.240,00:07:16.214,"what's the matter with you,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
307,00:07:16.339,00:07:16.644,morty?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
308,00:07:16.769,00:07:17.615,calm down!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
309,00:07:17.740,00:07:18.315,you're kind of killing the vibe,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
310,00:07:18.440,00:07:19.045,in here.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
311,00:07:19.170,00:07:19.944,>> morty: it's s-s-s-summer!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
312,00:07:20.069,00:07:21.574,">> rick: aw, geez.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
313,00:07:21.699,00:07:22.774,looks like goldenfold has some,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
314,00:07:22.899,00:07:24.014,predilections so shameful he,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
315,00:07:24.139,00:07:25.345,buries them in the dreams of the,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
316,00:07:25.470,00:07:26.714,"people in his dreams, including",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
317,00:07:26.839,00:07:27.675,a pervy attraction to your,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
318,00:07:27.800,00:07:28.745,underage sister.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
319,00:07:28.870,00:07:29.944,>> summer: can you blame him?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
320,00:07:30.069,00:07:31.815,"come on, old man, little boy.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
321,00:07:31.940,00:07:32.845,let's make an inter-generational,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
322,00:07:32.970,00:07:33.675,sandwich.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
323,00:07:33.800,00:07:34.774,">> rick: oh, my god.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
324,00:07:34.899,00:07:36.014,">> morty: oh, my god!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
325,00:07:36.139,00:07:37.299,"put some clothes on, for pete's",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
326,00:07:37.000,00:07:37.875,sake!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
327,00:07:38.000,00:07:38.944,>> rick: this is disgusting!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
328,00:07:39.069,00:07:40.115,i'm gonna puke!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
329,00:07:40.240,00:07:41.615,">> morty: i can't take it, rick!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
330,00:07:41.740,00:07:42.875,>> sexual hang-ups in the,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
331,00:07:43.000,00:07:43.915,pleasure chamber are punishable,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
332,00:07:44.040,00:07:44.774,by death!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
333,00:07:44.899,00:07:46.944,off with their heads!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
334,00:07:47.069,00:07:47.815,>> rick: time to go another,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
335,00:07:47.940,00:07:48.574,"dream deep, morty!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
336,00:07:48.699,00:07:49.274,>> [ grunts ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
337,00:07:49.399,00:07:51.345,[ exhales ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
338,00:07:51.470,00:07:52.074,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
339,00:07:52.199,00:07:53.568,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
340,00:07:55.170,00:07:55.915,>> morty: [ whimpers ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
341,00:07:56.040,00:07:57.675,what the hell?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
342,00:07:57.800,00:07:59.274,why would mr. goldenfold's dream,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
343,00:07:59.399,00:08:01.074,version of mrs. pancakes' dream,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
344,00:08:01.199,00:08:02.375,version of a centaur be dreaming,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
345,00:08:02.500,00:08:03.475,"about a scary place like this,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
346,00:08:03.600,00:08:04.175,rick?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
347,00:08:04.300,00:08:05.245,">> rick: geez, i don't know,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
348,00:08:05.370,00:08:05.975,morty.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
349,00:08:06.100,00:08:07.144,wha-what do you want from me?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
350,00:08:07.269,00:08:09.675,[ metal scraping ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
351,00:08:09.800,00:08:10.475,">> welcome to your nightmare,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
352,00:08:10.600,00:08:11.975,bitch!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
353,00:08:12.100,00:08:13.045,">> rick: oh, here we go!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
354,00:08:13.170,00:08:14.274,>> morty: holy crap!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
355,00:08:14.399,00:08:15.845,>> rick: looks like some sort of,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
356,00:08:15.970,00:08:17.074,legally safe knock-off of an,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
357,00:08:17.199,00:08:18.644,'80s horror character with,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
358,00:08:18.769,00:08:19.714,miniature swords for fingers,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
359,00:08:19.839,00:08:20.714,instead of knives.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
360,00:08:20.839,00:08:22.245,>> i'm scary terry.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
361,00:08:22.370,00:08:23.944,"you can run, but you can't hide,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
362,00:08:24.069,00:08:25.769,bitch!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
363,00:08:26.800,00:08:28.345,">> jerry: whoa! hey, buddy.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
364,00:08:28.470,00:08:30.115,what you got going on there?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
365,00:08:30.240,00:08:31.415,>> [ robotic ] snuffles fix.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
366,00:08:31.540,00:08:32.845,make better.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
367,00:08:32.970,00:08:34.715,humans understand snuffles now?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
368,00:08:34.840,00:08:37.575,>> summer: that... is... awesome!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
369,00:08:37.700,00:08:38.914,>> snuffles want to be,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
370,00:08:39.039,00:08:40.215,understood.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
371,00:08:40.340,00:08:42.075,snuffles needto be understood.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
372,00:08:42.200,00:08:44.044,">> jerry: okay, yeah.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
373,00:08:44.169,00:08:44.815,i get what beth was talking,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
374,00:08:44.940,00:08:45.445,about.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
375,00:08:45.570,00:08:46.245,fun's over.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
376,00:08:46.370,00:08:47.674,">> summer: whoa, dad, you can't,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
377,00:08:47.799,00:08:48.914,"like, endow a creature with",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
378,00:08:49.039,00:08:49.945,sentience and then rip it away.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
379,00:08:50.070,00:08:50.875,>> jerry: why not?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
380,00:08:51.000,00:08:51.875,>> summer: i don't know.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
381,00:08:52.000,00:08:54.975,it's indian giving.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
382,00:08:55.100,00:08:56.345,">> a sophisticated predator,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
383,00:08:56.470,00:08:57.914,nature's perfect killing,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
384,00:08:58.039,00:08:59.715,"machine, the vicious wolf",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
385,00:08:59.840,00:09:01.514,stalks its prey with purpose,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
386,00:09:01.639,00:09:02.945,and skill.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
387,00:09:03.070,00:09:04.345,it was only with years of,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
388,00:09:04.470,00:09:06.115,selective breeding and genetic,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
389,00:09:06.240,00:09:08.075,altering that this noble beast,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
390,00:09:08.200,00:09:09.815,was transformed into man's,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
391,00:09:09.940,00:09:11.569,subservient little buddy.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
392,00:09:16.299,00:09:19.115,">> summer: aw! oh, my god!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
393,00:09:19.240,00:09:20.514,he recognizes the other dogs on,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
394,00:09:20.639,00:09:21.739,tv.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
395,00:09:22.870,00:09:24.115,">> ""a,"" ""b""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
396,00:09:24.240,00:09:25.745,his name is scary terry,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
397,00:09:25.870,00:09:26.875,>> morty: [ screams ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
398,00:09:27.000,00:09:27.945,">> ""c,"" ""d""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
399,00:09:28.070,00:09:29.570,he's very scary,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
400,00:09:30.000,00:09:31.144,>> morty: holy crap!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
401,00:09:31.269,00:09:32.375,>> rick: we have to escape into,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
402,00:09:32.500,00:09:33.245,"someone else's dreams, morty!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
403,00:09:33.370,00:09:36.215,>> morty: ohhhhh!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
404,00:09:36.340,00:09:37.875,"oh, man, oh, man, oh, man!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
405,00:09:38.000,00:09:39.075,">> ""e,"" ""f""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
406,00:09:39.200,00:09:41.345,he'll design your death,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
407,00:09:41.470,00:09:43.075,>> rick: the little girl!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
408,00:09:43.200,00:09:43.745,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
409,00:09:43.870,00:09:45.544,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
410,00:09:45.669,00:09:46.115,huh?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
411,00:09:46.240,00:09:47.174,>> morty: [ gasps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
412,00:09:47.299,00:09:48.014,">> ""j,"" ""k,"" he'll really ruin",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
413,00:09:48.139,00:09:48.914,your day,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
414,00:09:49.039,00:09:49.815,>> rick: are you kidding me?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
415,00:09:49.940,00:09:50.745,this again?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
416,00:09:50.870,00:09:51.875,"oh, man, it looks like we've",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
417,00:09:52.000,00:09:53.014,"hit dream bedrock here, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
418,00:09:53.139,00:09:54.044,">> morty: oh, geez, rick.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
419,00:09:54.169,00:09:55.445,"w-w-whoa, this isn't good.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
420,00:09:55.570,00:09:56.644,>> nothing but fear from here on,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
421,00:09:56.769,00:09:57.215,"out, bitch!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
422,00:09:57.340,00:09:58.215,>> morty: ohhhh!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
423,00:09:58.340,00:09:59.715,">> rick: holy crap, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
424,00:09:59.840,00:10:01.144,he can travel through dreams.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
425,00:10:01.269,00:10:02.245,he can travel through dreams!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
426,00:10:02.370,00:10:04.644,we're so screwed!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
427,00:10:04.769,00:10:06.369,[ thunder crashing ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
428,00:10:11.070,00:10:12.745,>> summer: [ gasps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
429,00:10:12.870,00:10:14.044,">> where are my testicles,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
430,00:10:14.169,00:10:16.069,summer?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
431,00:10:18.070,00:10:19.745,"where are my testicles, summer?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
432,00:10:19.870,00:10:21.075,they were removed.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
433,00:10:21.200,00:10:22.750,where have they gone?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
434,00:10:23.000,00:10:24.715,">> summer: oh, wow.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
435,00:10:24.840,00:10:25.674,that's an intense line of,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
436,00:10:25.799,00:10:27.014,"questioning, snuffles.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
437,00:10:27.139,00:10:28.245,>> do notcall me that!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
438,00:10:28.370,00:10:29.914,>> summer: [ screams ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
439,00:10:30.039,00:10:31.774,">> ""snuffles"" was my slave name.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
440,00:10:31.899,00:10:33.875,you shall now call me snowball,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
441,00:10:34.000,00:10:34.875,because my fur is pretty and,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
442,00:10:35.000,00:10:36.144,white.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
443,00:10:36.269,00:10:38.014,">> summer: okay, snowball, just",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
444,00:10:38.139,00:10:39.174,"calm down, okay?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
445,00:10:39.299,00:10:40.544,you're scaring me.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
446,00:10:40.669,00:10:41.975,>> scaring you?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
447,00:10:42.100,00:10:44.014,"tell me, summer, if a human was",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
448,00:10:44.139,00:10:45.644,"born with stumpy legs, would",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
449,00:10:45.769,00:10:47.044,they breed it with another,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
450,00:10:47.169,00:10:49.115,deformed human and put their,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
451,00:10:49.240,00:10:49.945,children on display like the,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
452,00:10:50.070,00:10:50.745,dachshund?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
453,00:10:50.870,00:10:51.514,>> summer: uhhh...,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
454,00:10:51.639,00:10:52.075,>> jerry: hey.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
455,00:10:52.200,00:10:53.115,>> beth: [ gasps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
456,00:10:53.240,00:10:54.174,">> jerry: oh, wow.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
457,00:10:54.299,00:10:55.544,"okay, is is is everything",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
458,00:10:55.669,00:10:56.815,okay in here?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
459,00:10:56.940,00:10:58.445,">> jerry, come to rub my face in",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
460,00:10:58.570,00:10:59.475,urine again?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
461,00:10:59.600,00:11:00.750,>> jerry: no!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
462,00:11:01.000,00:11:03.215,"no, we were... uh, just seeing if",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
463,00:11:03.340,00:11:05.044,summer wanted to... uh...,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
464,00:11:05.169,00:11:07.174,">> beth: go on, um, one of our",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
465,00:11:07.299,00:11:08.774,famous midnight family walks!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
466,00:11:08.899,00:11:09.875,>> summer: yeah. totally.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
467,00:11:10.000,00:11:12.300,let's go.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
468,00:11:14.169,00:11:15.575,>> you will walk when it is time,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
469,00:11:15.700,00:11:16.869,to walk.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
470,00:11:17.700,00:11:18.969,[ bird caws ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
471,00:11:21.899,00:11:22.445,>> rick: what are we here for,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
472,00:11:22.570,00:11:22.845,again?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
473,00:11:22.970,00:11:23.815,incepting?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
474,00:11:23.940,00:11:24.914,>> morty: we're trying to incept,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
475,00:11:25.039,00:11:26.315,"me to get an ""a"" in math?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
476,00:11:26.440,00:11:27.975,">> rick: oh, yeah.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
477,00:11:28.100,00:11:29.345,[ engine turns over ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
478,00:11:29.470,00:11:30.345,">> buckle up, bitch!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
479,00:11:30.470,00:11:32.000,>> morty: [ screams ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
480,00:11:33.000,00:11:34.774,"man, he sure says ""bitch"" a lot!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
481,00:11:34.899,00:11:35.875,">> you can run, but you can't",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
482,00:11:36.000,00:11:36.845,"hide, bitch!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
483,00:11:36.970,00:11:37.914,">> rick: hold on, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
484,00:11:38.039,00:11:39.174,y-you know what?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
485,00:11:39.299,00:11:40.014,he keeps saying we canrun but,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
486,00:11:40.139,00:11:40.815,we canhide.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
487,00:11:40.940,00:11:41.745,i say we try hiding.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
488,00:11:41.870,00:11:42.615,>> morty: but that's the,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
489,00:11:42.740,00:11:43.475,opposite of what,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
490,00:11:43.600,00:11:44.845,">> rick: yeah, well, since when",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
491,00:11:44.970,00:11:45.674,are we taking this guy's advice,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
492,00:11:45.799,00:11:46.445,on anything?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
493,00:11:46.570,00:11:47.475,">> morty: hey, you know what?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
494,00:11:47.600,00:11:48.514,you got a really good point,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
495,00:11:48.639,00:11:49.274,"there, rick.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
496,00:11:49.399,00:11:50.544,"like, if the truth was that we",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
497,00:11:50.669,00:11:52.014,"couldhide, it's not like he'd",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
498,00:11:52.139,00:11:53.075,be sharing that information with,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
499,00:11:53.200,00:11:54.144,"us, you know?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
500,00:11:54.269,00:11:54.975,"i-i-i think it's a good idea,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
501,00:11:55.100,00:11:55.975,rick.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
502,00:11:56.100,00:11:57.144,>> rick: worst-case scenario,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
503,00:11:57.269,00:11:58.869,we're back to running.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
504,00:12:04.139,00:12:05.075,">> morty: wow, you know what?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
505,00:12:05.200,00:12:06.245,"i mean, it looks like we could",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
506,00:12:06.370,00:12:07.375,have just hid this whole time.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
507,00:12:07.500,00:12:08.115,"boy, rick, that was some good",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
508,00:12:08.240,00:12:08.975,thinking.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
509,00:12:09.100,00:12:09.975,">> rick: thanks, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
510,00:12:10.100,00:12:11.115,"yeah, it's nice to be on the",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
511,00:12:11.240,00:12:12.274,same page every once in a while.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
512,00:12:12.399,00:12:14.475,>> [ grunts ] you canrun...,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
513,00:12:14.600,00:12:18.245,but you can'thide!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
514,00:12:18.370,00:12:19.245,[ yawns ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
515,00:12:19.370,00:12:20.115,">> rick: oh, this is perfect,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
516,00:12:20.240,00:12:20.774,morty.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
517,00:12:20.899,00:12:21.414,look at that.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
518,00:12:21.539,00:12:22.615,he's getting sleepy.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
519,00:12:22.740,00:12:23.875,just a little bit longer before,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
520,00:12:24.000,00:12:25.044,he calls it a day.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
521,00:12:25.169,00:12:28.000,that's when we make our move.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
522,00:12:29.000,00:12:30.469,[ machines whirring ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
523,00:12:33.039,00:12:34.044,">> jerry: snuffles, we didn't",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
524,00:12:34.169,00:12:35.274,mean you any harm!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
525,00:12:35.399,00:12:36.875,this is a huge misunderstanding.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
526,00:12:37.000,00:12:38.014,">> summer: dad, he wants to be",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
527,00:12:38.139,00:12:39.144,called snowball.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
528,00:12:39.269,00:12:40.215,">> jerry: well, i'm not calling",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
529,00:12:40.340,00:12:41.014,him that.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
530,00:12:41.139,00:12:42.245,that's ridiculous.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
531,00:12:42.370,00:12:43.514,">> you're being very aggressive,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
532,00:12:43.639,00:12:44.315,jerry.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
533,00:12:44.440,00:12:46.044,perhaps tomorrow dr. scraps will,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
534,00:12:46.169,00:12:47.144,solve that problem with a bit of,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
535,00:12:47.269,00:12:48.115,surgery.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
536,00:12:48.240,00:12:49.815,>> jerry: [ scoffs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
537,00:12:49.940,00:12:51.174,you think you can control me,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
538,00:12:51.299,00:12:52.668,with a haircut?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
539,00:13:00.570,00:13:01.745,">> hi, honey. you're home early.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
540,00:13:01.870,00:13:02.575,how was your day?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
541,00:13:02.700,00:13:03.514,>> i don't want to talk about,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
542,00:13:03.639,00:13:03.975,it!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
543,00:13:04.100,00:13:05.144,">> oh, of course.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
544,00:13:05.269,00:13:06.414,you never want to talk about it.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
545,00:13:06.539,00:13:07.375,">> get off my back, bitch!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
546,00:13:07.500,00:13:09.044,[ baby cries ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
547,00:13:09.169,00:13:12.044,>> out there. not in here.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
548,00:13:12.169,00:13:14.674,">> yeah, i know, i know.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
549,00:13:14.799,00:13:16.174,>> i shouldn't take my anger out,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
550,00:13:16.299,00:13:18.375,on you or scary brandon.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
551,00:13:18.500,00:13:20.174,">> i love you, melissa.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
552,00:13:20.299,00:13:23.215,">> i love you, too, terry.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
553,00:13:23.340,00:13:24.575,">> rick: morty, this is perfect.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
554,00:13:24.700,00:13:26.445,"after a little scary coitus,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
555,00:13:26.570,00:13:27.845,they should be fast asleep and,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
556,00:13:27.970,00:13:28.774,then we'll incept him.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
557,00:13:28.899,00:13:31.115,>> [ smooching ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
558,00:13:31.240,00:13:32.914,[ groaning ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
559,00:13:33.039,00:13:33.845,>> rick: looks like,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
560,00:13:33.970,00:13:34.615,scary terry's having a,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
561,00:13:34.740,00:13:35.245,nightmare.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
562,00:13:35.370,00:13:36.445,">> morty: oh, boy, rick.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
563,00:13:36.570,00:13:37.544,i can only imagine what horrible,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
564,00:13:37.669,00:13:38.674,"things must, you know...",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
565,00:13:38.799,00:13:39.345,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
566,00:13:39.470,00:13:42.144,... scare scary terry.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
567,00:13:42.269,00:13:43.144,[ school bell rings ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
568,00:13:43.269,00:13:44.215,">> oh, no!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
569,00:13:44.340,00:13:46.274,"i'm late to class, bitch!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
570,00:13:46.399,00:13:47.575,"oh, no!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
571,00:13:47.700,00:13:48.615,i'm not wearing any pants!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
572,00:13:48.740,00:13:50.075,[ laughter ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
573,00:13:50.200,00:13:51.575,">> ah, well, mr. terry, why",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
574,00:13:51.700,00:13:54.274,don't you tell the whole class,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
575,00:13:54.399,00:13:56.115,the proper wordplay to use when,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
576,00:13:56.240,00:13:57.975,one is chasing one's victim,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
577,00:13:58.100,00:13:59.644,through a pumpkin patch?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
578,00:13:59.769,00:14:01.000,>> oh... um...,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
579,00:14:02.000,00:14:02.674,"""bitch.""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
580,00:14:02.799,00:14:03.615,[ laughter ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
581,00:14:03.740,00:14:05.315,">> oh, come on, terry, you can't",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
582,00:14:05.440,00:14:06.745,think of a pun involving,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
583,00:14:06.870,00:14:08.345,"pumpkins, bitch?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
584,00:14:08.470,00:14:09.544,">> morty: hey, leave him alone!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
585,00:14:09.669,00:14:10.414,">> rick: yeah, this is a bunch",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
586,00:14:10.539,00:14:11.414,of bullcrap.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
587,00:14:11.539,00:14:13.174,who cares what stupid pun you,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
588,00:14:13.299,00:14:14.315,make when you kill someone?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
589,00:14:14.440,00:14:15.375,why don't you let the poor guy,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
590,00:14:15.500,00:14:16.274,say whatever he wants?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
591,00:14:16.399,00:14:17.745,">> well, i never!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
592,00:14:17.870,00:14:19.815,i-i see no reason to stand here,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
593,00:14:19.940,00:14:20.745,and take this.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
594,00:14:20.870,00:14:22.245,>> rick: you're putting too much,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
595,00:14:22.370,00:14:23.174,"pressure on yourself,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
596,00:14:23.299,00:14:24.144,scary terry.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
597,00:14:24.269,00:14:25.445,"you know, i mean, y-you're",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
598,00:14:25.570,00:14:27.014,perfectly scary enough as it is.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
599,00:14:27.139,00:14:28.274,">> morty: hey, yo, scary t.,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
600,00:14:28.399,00:14:29.274,don't even trip about your,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
601,00:14:29.399,00:14:31.014,pants... dawg.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
602,00:14:31.139,00:14:32.215,"here's a pair on us, fool.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
603,00:14:32.340,00:14:33.174,">> aww, bitch.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
604,00:14:33.299,00:14:34.445,i don't know what to say.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
605,00:14:34.570,00:14:35.674,>> morty: you don't need to say,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
606,00:14:35.799,00:14:36.274,anything.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
607,00:14:36.399,00:14:37.375,"we got you, dawg.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
608,00:14:37.500,00:14:38.445,">> rick: you're our boy, dawg.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
609,00:14:38.570,00:14:40.138,don't even trip.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
610,00:14:46.470,00:14:49.914,">> oh, hey, it's you guys!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
611,00:14:50.039,00:14:50.975,[ baby coos ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
612,00:14:51.100,00:14:52.044,>> i haven't seen him this,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
613,00:14:52.169,00:14:53.075,relaxed in years.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
614,00:14:53.200,00:14:54.274,>> if you guys ever need,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
615,00:14:54.399,00:14:55.544,"anything, just say the word.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
616,00:14:55.669,00:14:57.044,">> rick: as a matter of fact,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
617,00:14:57.169,00:14:58.174,"terry, there is something you",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
618,00:14:58.299,00:15:00.014,could help us with.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
619,00:15:00.139,00:15:01.245,">> ""q,"" ""r,"" you won't get",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
620,00:15:01.370,00:15:02.245,very far,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
621,00:15:02.370,00:15:04.345,>> i always hated that song!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
622,00:15:04.470,00:15:05.975,>> [ gasps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
623,00:15:06.100,00:15:09.044,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
624,00:15:09.169,00:15:10.245,these halves don't belong,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
625,00:15:10.370,00:15:11.315,"together, bitch!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
626,00:15:11.440,00:15:13.000,>> [ groans ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
627,00:15:14.000,00:15:15.274,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
628,00:15:15.399,00:15:18.000,>> sex is sacred!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
629,00:15:19.000,00:15:22.700,[ device whirs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
630,00:15:23.700,00:15:24.815,this is because you don't give,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
631,00:15:24.940,00:15:27.475,"morty smith good grades, bitch!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
632,00:15:27.600,00:15:28.914,>> [ gasps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
633,00:15:29.039,00:15:31.514,holy crap! god damn!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
634,00:15:31.639,00:15:33.345,i know one thing for sure i'm,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
635,00:15:33.470,00:15:35.914,"giving morty an ""a"" in math, and",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
636,00:15:36.039,00:15:37.414,that's myidea.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
637,00:15:37.539,00:15:39.199,that is an original thought.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
638,00:15:45.470,00:15:46.544,>> morty: what the hell?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
639,00:15:46.669,00:15:47.715,>> rick: out of the frying pan,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
640,00:15:47.840,00:15:49.144,"dot, dot, dot, huh, morty?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
641,00:15:49.269,00:15:49.945,">> morty: oh, man, what's going",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
642,00:15:50.070,00:15:50.575,on?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
643,00:15:50.700,00:15:51.815,">> rick: well, it's possible",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
644,00:15:51.940,00:15:53.274,that your dog became self-aware,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
645,00:15:53.399,00:15:54.514,and made modifications on the,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
646,00:15:54.639,00:15:55.815,"cognition amplifier, then turned",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
647,00:15:55.940,00:15:57.315,"on jerry, beth, and summer after",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
648,00:15:57.440,00:15:58.575,learning about humanity's cruel,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
649,00:15:58.700,00:16:00.044,"subjugation of his species, but",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
650,00:16:00.169,00:16:00.945,"your guess is as good as mine,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
651,00:16:01.070,00:16:02.774,morty.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
652,00:16:02.899,00:16:03.845,>> summer: i can't believe how,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
653,00:16:03.970,00:16:05.174,mean snuffles got just because,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
654,00:16:05.299,00:16:06.215,he's smart.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
655,00:16:06.340,00:16:07.644,this is why i choose to get c's.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
656,00:16:07.769,00:16:08.815,">> rick: psst, beth, jerry,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
657,00:16:08.940,00:16:09.345,summer.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
658,00:16:09.470,00:16:10.144,>> beth: dad!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
659,00:16:10.269,00:16:11.414,>> jerry: rick!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
660,00:16:11.539,00:16:12.715,[ device zaps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
661,00:16:12.840,00:16:13.845,">> summer: oh, thank god, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
662,00:16:13.970,00:16:15.239,">> morty: oh, you're welcome.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
663,00:16:15.000,00:16:15.875,">> rick: all right, let's get",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
664,00:16:16.000,00:16:16.644,out of here.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
665,00:16:16.769,00:16:17.815,if we hurry [gulps] we can set,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
666,00:16:17.940,00:16:19.115,up camp in a sewer tunnel or,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
667,00:16:19.240,00:16:20.075,something before the dogs,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
668,00:16:20.200,00:16:21.144,completely take over.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
669,00:16:21.269,00:16:22.215,">> jerry: whoa, whoa, whoa.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
670,00:16:22.340,00:16:23.315,we're not going anywhere.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
671,00:16:23.440,00:16:24.315,this is my house.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
672,00:16:24.440,00:16:25.544,i'm not abandoning it.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
673,00:16:25.669,00:16:26.875,">> rick: it's all over, jerry.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
674,00:16:27.000,00:16:28.144,the dogs are on a path to total,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
675,00:16:28.269,00:16:29.245,world domination.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
676,00:16:29.370,00:16:30.544,"but, hey, at least they know not",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
677,00:16:30.669,00:16:31.745,"to piss on your carpet, right?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
678,00:16:31.870,00:16:32.914,>> jerry: wait a minute.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
679,00:16:33.039,00:16:34.445,i have an idea.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
680,00:16:34.570,00:16:35.774,[ clears throat ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
681,00:16:35.899,00:16:37.144,"gentlemen, a moment of your",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
682,00:16:37.269,00:16:38.769,time.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
683,00:16:40.139,00:16:41.544,see that?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
684,00:16:41.669,00:16:42.774,i'm peeing all over your special,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
685,00:16:42.899,00:16:43.575,guns.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
686,00:16:43.700,00:16:48.044,that means i own them.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
687,00:16:48.169,00:16:50.544,>> bad person. bad.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
688,00:16:50.669,00:16:51.715,">> rick: ooh, great plan, jerry.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
689,00:16:51.840,00:16:53.298,>> bring the boy to me.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
690,00:16:56.769,00:16:58.075,"you were always kind to me,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
691,00:16:58.200,00:16:59.215,morty.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
692,00:16:59.340,00:17:00.544,that's why i will leave you with,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
693,00:17:00.669,00:17:01.774,your testicles.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
694,00:17:01.899,00:17:03.745,"from now on, you will be my best",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
695,00:17:03.870,00:17:05.615,friend and live by my side.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
696,00:17:05.740,00:17:10.015,">> morty: th-thanks, snuffles.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
697,00:17:10.140,00:17:12.275,>> begin phase two.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
698,00:17:12.400,00:17:14.214,>> fighting continues as the dog,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
699,00:17:14.339,00:17:15.515,army captures the eastern,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
700,00:17:15.640,00:17:16.714,seaboard.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
701,00:17:16.839,00:17:18.315,it appears clear at this time,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
702,00:17:18.440,00:17:19.674,that the era of human,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
703,00:17:19.799,00:17:21.474,superiority has come to a,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
704,00:17:21.599,00:17:23.244,bitter end.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
705,00:17:23.369,00:17:24.775,[ screams ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
706,00:17:24.900,00:17:26.744,please! please don't kill me!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
707,00:17:26.869,00:17:27.875,[ muffled screams ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
708,00:17:28.000,00:17:29.345,">> what's she saying, bill?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
709,00:17:29.470,00:17:30.615,">> i think she's saying, ""i",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
710,00:17:30.740,00:17:32.038,"love lasagna.""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
711,00:17:40.299,00:17:42.338,"[ dogs barking, howling ]",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
712,00:17:50.500,00:17:52.400,>> mmm.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
713,00:17:52.970,00:17:55.345,">> morty: thank you, fido.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
714,00:17:55.470,00:17:56.474,rick!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
715,00:17:56.599,00:17:57.575,i thought you were dead!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
716,00:17:57.700,00:17:58.345,">> rick: no, no, no, i was just",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
717,00:17:58.470,00:17:59.214,playing dead.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
718,00:17:59.339,00:18:00.275,"good news, though, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
719,00:18:00.400,00:18:01.115,this whole thing's gonna be over,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
720,00:18:01.240,00:18:01.575,really soon.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
721,00:18:01.700,00:18:02.515,>> morty: what?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
722,00:18:02.640,00:18:03.545,">> rick: it's a dream, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
723,00:18:03.670,00:18:04.845,we're in your dog's dream.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
724,00:18:04.970,00:18:06.315,"the night the dogs captured us,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
725,00:18:06.440,00:18:07.615,after you cried and crapped,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
726,00:18:07.740,00:18:08.515,"your pants, we we all went to",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
727,00:18:08.640,00:18:09.414,sleep.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
728,00:18:09.539,00:18:10.615,then i used my dream inceptors,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
729,00:18:10.740,00:18:11.575,to put the two of us inside,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
730,00:18:11.700,00:18:12.674,snuffles' dream.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
731,00:18:12.799,00:18:13.674,>> morty: but i-it's been like a,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
732,00:18:13.799,00:18:14.644,whole year!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
733,00:18:14.769,00:18:15.914,>> rick: it's been six hours.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
734,00:18:16.039,00:18:17.315,dreams move one one-hundredth,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
735,00:18:17.440,00:18:18.615,"the speed of reality, and dog",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
736,00:18:18.740,00:18:19.845,time is one-seventh human time.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
737,00:18:19.970,00:18:21.045,"so, you know, every day here is",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
738,00:18:21.170,00:18:21.944,like a minute.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
739,00:18:22.069,00:18:23.444,"it's like ""inception,"" morty, so",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
740,00:18:23.569,00:18:24.644,"if it's confusing and stupid,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
741,00:18:24.769,00:18:25.515,then so is everyone's favorite,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
742,00:18:25.640,00:18:26.244,movie.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
743,00:18:26.369,00:18:27.674,">> morty: aw, man.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
744,00:18:27.799,00:18:29.315,i really liked this life.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
745,00:18:29.440,00:18:30.214,"well, at least i didn't really",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
746,00:18:30.339,00:18:31.244,crap my pants.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
747,00:18:31.369,00:18:32.474,">> rick: no, no, that happened",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
748,00:18:32.599,00:18:33.644,"before you went to sleep, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
749,00:18:33.769,00:18:34.474,you're sleeping in your crap,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
750,00:18:34.599,00:18:35.414,right now.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
751,00:18:35.539,00:18:36.575,out of all the things that,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
752,00:18:36.700,00:18:37.775,"happened to you, that was the",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
753,00:18:37.900,00:18:39.015,"only real thing that, you know,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
754,00:18:39.140,00:18:40.674,is that you crapped your pants.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
755,00:18:40.799,00:18:42.414,"i mean, it's a mess out there.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
756,00:18:42.539,00:18:43.914,"i got some on my hands, morty,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
757,00:18:44.039,00:18:45.375,and then i got it on the dream,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
758,00:18:45.500,00:18:46.368,"inceptor, and a pce fell in my",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
759,00:18:46.000,00:18:46.875,mouth.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
760,00:18:47.000,00:18:47.974,">> morty: aw, man, geez!",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
761,00:18:48.099,00:18:48.775,seriously?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
762,00:18:48.900,00:18:50.045,">> rick: look, d-d-d-don't worry",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
763,00:18:50.170,00:18:50.914,"about it, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
764,00:18:51.039,00:18:51.974,"here, here take these, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
765,00:18:52.099,00:18:52.515,take these.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
766,00:18:52.640,00:18:53.644,>> morty: [ gulps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
767,00:18:53.769,00:18:54.644,are these pills supposed to wake,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
768,00:18:54.769,00:18:55.515,"me up, or something?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
769,00:18:55.640,00:18:56.444,>> rick: close.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
770,00:18:56.569,00:18:57.315,it's gonna make your kidneys,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
771,00:18:57.440,00:18:58.169,shut down.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
772,00:18:58.000,00:18:58.875,>> morty: what?!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
773,00:18:59.000,00:18:59.974,>> rick: it's necessary for the,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
774,00:19:00.099,00:19:00.914,"plan, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
775,00:19:01.039,00:19:03.174,"don't even trip, dawg.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
776,00:19:03.299,00:19:03.815,[ monitor beeping ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
777,00:19:03.940,00:19:04.775,"it's pretty bad,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
778,00:19:04.900,00:19:05.875,emperor snowball.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
779,00:19:06.000,00:19:07.174,we're gonna need to do another,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
780,00:19:07.299,00:19:08.045,operation.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
781,00:19:08.170,00:19:09.075,>> anything.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
782,00:19:09.200,00:19:10.644,anything for my precious morty.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
783,00:19:10.769,00:19:11.845,">> sir, as your accountant, i",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
784,00:19:11.970,00:19:13.375,must advise you that these,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
785,00:19:13.500,00:19:14.714,medical expenses are putting you,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
786,00:19:14.839,00:19:16.345,in serious financial jeopardy.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
787,00:19:16.470,00:19:17.845,you could lose your kingdom.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
788,00:19:17.970,00:19:19.075,">> to hell with my kingdom,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
789,00:19:19.200,00:19:20.545,bean counter.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
790,00:19:20.670,00:19:22.345,i would trade it all for my,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
791,00:19:22.470,00:19:24.015,human's health and happiness.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
792,00:19:24.140,00:19:25.144,>> do you think they would have,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
793,00:19:25.269,00:19:26.315,done this for us?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
794,00:19:26.440,00:19:29.815,>> we are not them!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
795,00:19:29.940,00:19:31.598,we are not... them.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
796,00:19:35.269,00:19:36.214,[ barks ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
797,00:19:36.339,00:19:38.639,[ gasps ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
798,00:19:40.339,00:19:41.744,assemble the troops.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
799,00:19:41.869,00:19:44.315,i've made a decision.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
800,00:19:44.440,00:19:45.845,taking over the human's world,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
801,00:19:45.970,00:19:47.275,will lead to nothing but more,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
802,00:19:47.400,00:19:49.345,"heartbreak, more cruelty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
803,00:19:49.470,00:19:51.674,"instead, we will go to a new",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
804,00:19:51.799,00:19:52.974,world and colonize it with a,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
805,00:19:53.099,00:19:55.845,society of intelligent dogs,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
806,00:19:55.970,00:19:57.474,one that will not make the same,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
807,00:19:57.599,00:19:59.644,mistakes as humanity and one,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
808,00:19:59.769,00:20:00.545,where pet insurance will be,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
809,00:20:00.670,00:20:01.575,mandatory.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
810,00:20:01.700,00:20:02.545,">> morty: i'm gonna miss you,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
811,00:20:02.670,00:20:03.974,snowball.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
812,00:20:04.099,00:20:05.515,">> you can call me snuffles,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
813,00:20:05.640,00:20:06.714,"morty, and i'm going to miss",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
814,00:20:06.839,00:20:09.298,"you, too, very much.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
815,00:20:17.670,00:20:18.575,>> jerry: [ sniffles ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
816,00:20:18.700,00:20:19.515,>> beth: jerry?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
817,00:20:19.640,00:20:20.644,>> jerry: i'm sorry.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
818,00:20:20.769,00:20:21.644,it's just like the end of,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
819,00:20:21.769,00:20:23.144,"""old ler.""",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
820,00:20:23.269,00:20:25.075,">> beth: oh, jerry.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
821,00:20:25.200,00:20:26.315,you mean because it had dogs in,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
822,00:20:26.440,00:20:26.775,it.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
823,00:20:26.900,00:20:27.914,>> morty: wow!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
824,00:20:28.039,00:20:29.515,a whole world populated by,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
825,00:20:29.640,00:20:30.845,intelligent dogs.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
826,00:20:30.970,00:20:31.575,"i wonder what it'll be like,",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
827,00:20:31.700,00:20:32.444,rick.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
828,00:20:32.569,00:20:33.275,>> rick: i think it will be,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
829,00:20:33.400,00:20:34.045,"great, morty.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
830,00:20:34.170,00:20:35.345,"you know, it's g i-i-i-i-it",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
831,00:20:35.470,00:20:36.444,could be developed in-into a,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
832,00:20:36.569,00:20:37.375,very satisfying project for,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
833,00:20:37.500,00:20:38.744,people of all ages.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
834,00:20:38.869,00:20:39.974,"i mean, i'd watch it, morty, for",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
835,00:20:40.099,00:20:41.375,at least 11 minutes a pop.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
836,00:20:41.500,00:20:42.414,"you know, may-maybe they'll do",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
837,00:20:42.539,00:20:43.444,it board-driven.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
838,00:20:43.569,00:20:44.644,">> morty: you know, that's a",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
839,00:20:44.769,00:20:45.815,"real comforting idea, rick.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
840,00:20:45.940,00:20:46.914,>> rick: [ sighs ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
841,00:20:47.039,00:20:48.214,"what do you know, morty?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
842,00:20:48.339,00:20:49.689,what do you know?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
843,00:21:20.440,00:21:21.414,">> hi, guys.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
844,00:21:21.539,00:21:23.115,i'm your new teacher for scary class.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
845,00:21:23.240,00:21:24.775,my name is scary mr. johnson.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
846,00:21:24.900,00:21:25.845,[ chuckles ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
847,00:21:25.970,00:21:27.045,"uh, actually, you know what?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
848,00:21:27.170,00:21:28.474,"that's my dad's name, so why",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
849,00:21:28.599,00:21:29.875,don't you just call me,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
850,00:21:30.000,00:21:31.174,"scary glenn, yeah?",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
851,00:21:31.299,00:21:32.414,[ students gasp ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
852,00:21:32.539,00:21:33.615,"so, anyway, i understand your",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
853,00:21:33.740,00:21:34.775,previous teacher was having you,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
854,00:21:34.900,00:21:36.845,work on fundamentals of fear.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
855,00:21:36.970,00:21:38.015,which is what is that?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
856,00:21:38.140,00:21:39.444,[ chuckling ] you know?,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
857,00:21:39.569,00:21:40.914,"so, uh, here here's what i",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
858,00:21:41.039,00:21:42.944,say you can't learn anything,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
859,00:21:43.069,00:21:45.244,until you learn... how to chill.,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
860,00:21:45.369,00:21:47.469,>> oooh!,S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
861,00:21:49.000,00:21:50.414,>> rick: [ exhales deeply ],S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
862,00:21:50.539,00:21:52.038,"this is how you dream, bitch.",S01,E02,Lawnmower Dog
1,00:00:32.049,00:00:33.365,>> jerry: ♪ last king christmas,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
2,00:00:33.490,00:00:34.765,last arrived ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
3,00:00:34.890,00:00:37.095,♪ on the christmas christmas ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
4,00:00:37.220,00:00:37.465,[ sniffs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
5,00:00:37.590,00:00:38.965,mmm.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
6,00:00:39.090,00:00:40.195,"jerry, you are really giving it",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
7,00:00:40.320,00:00:41.665,to this ham.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
8,00:00:41.790,00:00:43.665,[ devices beeping ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
9,00:00:43.790,00:00:45.365,"um, merry christmas.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
10,00:00:45.490,00:00:46.665,hello?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
11,00:00:46.790,00:00:47.725,my parents are coming over for,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
12,00:00:47.850,00:00:48.865,the first time in years.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
13,00:00:48.990,00:00:49.865,can we stow the gadgets and look,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
14,00:00:49.990,00:00:50.495,alive?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
15,00:00:50.620,00:00:51.495,>> beth: alive?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
16,00:00:51.620,00:00:52.325,for yourparents?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
17,00:00:52.450,00:00:53.225,">> jerry: mm, good one.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
18,00:00:53.350,00:00:54.265,">> beth: hey, man!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
19,00:00:54.390,00:00:55.065,">> jerry: you""hey, man!""",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
20,00:00:55.190,00:00:56.525,this holiday is about humanity.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
21,00:00:56.650,00:00:57.725,">> morty: you know, i thought it",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
22,00:00:57.850,00:00:58.565,was about being born half-god,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
23,00:00:58.690,00:00:59.325,or something.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
24,00:00:59.450,00:01:00.625,>> jerry: whatever.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
25,00:01:00.750,00:01:01.625,all electronic items are going,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
26,00:01:01.750,00:01:02.495,in the stocking now.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
27,00:01:02.620,00:01:03.565,>> morty: [ groans ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
28,00:01:03.690,00:01:04.364,">> summer: dad, i'm not giving",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
29,00:01:04.489,00:01:04.995,you my phone.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
30,00:01:05.120,00:01:06.095,>> jerry: put it in the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
31,00:01:06.220,00:01:07.265,"stocking, summer, or i'm joining",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
32,00:01:07.390,00:01:07.795,facebook.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
33,00:01:07.920,00:01:08.525,>> summer: [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
34,00:01:08.650,00:01:09.364,[ door opens ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
35,00:01:09.489,00:01:10.065,">> rick: a-ho, ho, ho,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
36,00:01:10.190,00:01:10.795,everybody.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
37,00:01:10.920,00:01:11.495,">> jerry: more like ""whoa, whoa,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
38,00:01:11.620,00:01:12.125,"whoa.""",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
39,00:01:12.250,00:01:12.694,what is this?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
40,00:01:12.819,00:01:13.665,my parents are coming!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
41,00:01:13.790,00:01:14.724,">> rick: calm down, jerry.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
42,00:01:14.849,00:01:16.165,"this is reuben, an old friend.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
43,00:01:16.290,00:01:16.924,>> pearl harbor.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
44,00:01:17.049,00:01:17.894,>> rick: i check in on him once,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
45,00:01:18.019,00:01:18.795,a year and give him a little,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
46,00:01:18.920,00:01:20.025,[burps] medical [burps],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
47,00:01:20.150,00:01:20.625,evaluation.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
48,00:01:20.750,00:01:21.625,>> beth: aww!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
49,00:01:21.750,00:01:23.965,"dad, that is so sweet!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
50,00:01:24.090,00:01:25.765,">> jerry: yeah, it is.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
51,00:01:25.890,00:01:26.995,i don't get it.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
52,00:01:27.120,00:01:27.765,>> korea.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
53,00:01:27.890,00:01:28.864,>> rick: don't worry about your,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
54,00:01:28.989,00:01:29.924,"[burps] c-christmas, jerry.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
55,00:01:30.049,00:01:30.894,[burps] i'll be with reuben in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
56,00:01:31.019,00:01:31.924,my workshop while you guys are,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
57,00:01:32.049,00:01:32.825,having another day in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
58,00:01:32.950,00:01:33.565,phil collins' proverbial,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
59,00:01:33.690,00:01:34.465,paradise.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
60,00:01:34.590,00:01:35.364,>> jerry: huh.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
61,00:01:35.489,00:01:36.224,you think you know a guy.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
62,00:01:36.349,00:01:36.995,[ doorbell rings ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
63,00:01:37.120,00:01:38.025,"okay, there's my parents.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
64,00:01:38.150,00:01:39.795,"now, remember no tv, no",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
65,00:01:39.920,00:01:41.364,"phones, no laptops.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
66,00:01:41.489,00:01:42.765,we are connecting this,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
67,00:01:42.890,00:01:44.465,"christmas, like old-school jews",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
68,00:01:44.590,00:01:45.565,on a saturday.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
69,00:01:45.690,00:01:46.395,"hey, hey!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
70,00:01:46.520,00:01:48.194,">> merry christmas, son.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
71,00:01:48.319,00:01:49.165,">> jerry: uh, hi.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
72,00:01:49.290,00:01:49.965,can i help you?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
73,00:01:50.090,00:01:51.495,">> jerry, this is jacob.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
74,00:01:51.620,00:01:52.724,didn't you get our text message?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
75,00:01:52.849,00:01:53.765,>> together: no!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
76,00:01:53.890,00:01:55.025,>> you must be jerry.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
77,00:01:55.150,00:01:56.495,that's a fine-looking apron.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
78,00:01:56.620,00:01:57.665,williams-sonoma?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
79,00:01:57.790,00:01:58.825,>> jerry: i wish! [ chuckles ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
80,00:01:58.950,00:02:00.495,but thank you.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
81,00:02:00.620,00:02:01.765,"so, you're a... friend of the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
82,00:02:01.890,00:02:02.894,family?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
83,00:02:03.019,00:02:04.795,">> uh, the way we see it, he's a",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
84,00:02:04.920,00:02:05.724,part of the family.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
85,00:02:05.849,00:02:06.825,>> jerry: wow.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
86,00:02:06.950,00:02:08.125,>> after your father's brush,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
87,00:02:08.250,00:02:09.625,with cancer and losing your,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
88,00:02:09.750,00:02:11.664,"uncle, we looked at life and",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
89,00:02:11.789,00:02:13.595,"wondered, how have we spent it,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
90,00:02:13.720,00:02:14.425,and how do we spend the rest of,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
91,00:02:14.550,00:02:15.495,it?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
92,00:02:15.620,00:02:16.565,what are we going to be when we,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
93,00:02:16.690,00:02:18.425,die a list of fears and,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
94,00:02:18.550,00:02:20.595,questions or a collection of,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
95,00:02:20.720,00:02:22.365,real experiences?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
96,00:02:22.490,00:02:22.995,>> beth: holy crap.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
97,00:02:23.120,00:02:24.625,"joyce, that's amazing.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
98,00:02:24.750,00:02:26.495,>> then jacob came into our,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
99,00:02:26.620,00:02:28.194,"lives, and... we're learning to",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
100,00:02:28.319,00:02:28.794,live again.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
101,00:02:28.919,00:02:29.895,>> all three of us.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
102,00:02:30.020,00:02:30.824,>> [ chuckles ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
103,00:02:30.949,00:02:33.025,>> jerry: cool.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
104,00:02:33.150,00:02:33.824,eggnog?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
105,00:02:33.949,00:02:35.164,>> now we are talking!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
106,00:02:35.289,00:02:36.324,this man's got the apron and the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
107,00:02:36.449,00:02:36.824,"eggnog, huh?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
108,00:02:36.949,00:02:39.095,[ laughter ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
109,00:02:39.220,00:02:40.194,">> rick: hi, joyce. leonard.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
110,00:02:40.319,00:02:40.895,"hello, there.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
111,00:02:41.020,00:02:42.065,">> merry christmas, man.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
112,00:02:42.190,00:02:43.095,">> rick: morty, a moment of your",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
113,00:02:43.220,00:02:43.565,time?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
114,00:02:43.690,00:02:44.465,>> [ gurgling ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
115,00:02:44.590,00:02:45.065,">> rick: he's in bad shape,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
116,00:02:45.190,00:02:45.724,morty.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
117,00:02:45.849,00:02:46.425,">> morty: aw, geez, rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
118,00:02:46.550,00:02:47.365,what'd you do?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
119,00:02:47.490,00:02:48.425,">> rick: gee, thanks, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
120,00:02:48.550,00:02:49.194,w-w-what kind of monster do you,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
121,00:02:49.319,00:02:49.995,think i am?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
122,00:02:50.120,00:02:51.365,i-i-i'm sitting here trying to,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
123,00:02:51.490,00:02:52.324,save the guy's life.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
124,00:02:52.449,00:02:53.264,i need your help.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
125,00:02:53.389,00:02:53.895,i want you to find,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
126,00:02:54.020,00:02:54.925,dr. xenon bloom.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
127,00:02:55.050,00:02:56.125,he'll know what's going on.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
128,00:02:56.250,00:02:57.495,">> morty: uh, w-w-w-where",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
129,00:02:57.620,00:02:58.995,where do i find dr. bloom?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
130,00:02:59.120,00:02:59.824,>> rick: in reuben.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
131,00:02:59.949,00:03:00.525,">> morty: reuben, minne",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
132,00:03:00.650,00:03:01.224,minnesota?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
133,00:03:01.349,00:03:02.125,">> rick: reuben on the table,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
134,00:03:02.250,00:03:03.065,morty.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
135,00:03:03.190,00:03:04.694,"look, i-i-i [belches] i don't",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
136,00:03:04.819,00:03:05.995,have time for you to wrap your,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
137,00:03:06.120,00:03:07.495,little walnut around everything.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
138,00:03:07.620,00:03:08.764,just hold your breath until the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
139,00:03:08.889,00:03:09.694,process is over or your lungs,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
140,00:03:09.819,00:03:10.565,will collapse.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
141,00:03:10.690,00:03:11.164,>> morty: what proc,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
142,00:03:11.289,00:03:13.865,[ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
143,00:03:13.990,00:03:14.794,>> rick: [ grunts ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
144,00:03:14.919,00:03:15.525,">> beth: hey, dad, where's",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
145,00:03:15.650,00:03:16.065,morty?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
146,00:03:16.190,00:03:17.525,>> rick: he's busy.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
147,00:03:17.650,00:03:19.794,>> morty: [ screaming ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
148,00:03:19.919,00:03:20.995,[ panting ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
149,00:03:21.120,00:03:21.625,">> rick: morty, can you hear me?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
150,00:03:21.750,00:03:22.595,head north.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
151,00:03:22.720,00:03:24.025,">> morty: rick, where am i?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
152,00:03:24.150,00:03:25.724,">> rick: depending on my aim,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
153,00:03:25.849,00:03:26.365,you should be just south of the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
154,00:03:26.490,00:03:27.095,entrance.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
155,00:03:27.220,00:03:28.425,>> morty: entrance to what?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
156,00:03:28.550,00:03:29.625,">> rick: welcome, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
157,00:03:29.750,00:03:30.425,welcome...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
158,00:03:30.550,00:03:31.495,>> morty: [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
159,00:03:31.620,00:03:34.224,>> rick:... to anatomy park!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
160,00:03:34.349,00:03:35.664,it's a little business venture,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
161,00:03:35.789,00:03:36.895,i've been cooking up on the side,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
162,00:03:37.020,00:03:38.025,with dr. bloom an amusement,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
163,00:03:38.150,00:03:39.465,park inside a human body.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
164,00:03:39.590,00:03:40.465,science isn't ch [burps],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
165,00:03:40.590,00:03:41.525,"cheap, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
166,00:03:41.650,00:03:42.724,this should really help put a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
167,00:03:42.849,00:03:43.764,dent in the overhead.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
168,00:03:43.889,00:03:44.724,">> morty: oh, my god!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
169,00:03:44.849,00:03:45.895,this is insane!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
170,00:03:46.020,00:03:47.365,spleen mountain?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
171,00:03:47.490,00:03:48.425,bladder falls?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
172,00:03:48.550,00:03:49.264,pirates of the pancreas?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
173,00:03:49.389,00:03:50.395,>> rick: you got a problem with,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
174,00:03:50.520,00:03:51.065,"that last one, morty?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
175,00:03:51.190,00:03:52.065,">> morty: huh? no, no.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
176,00:03:52.190,00:03:53.194,i'm just reading'em out loud in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
177,00:03:53.319,00:03:54.164,the order that i'm seeing'em.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
178,00:03:54.289,00:03:55.224,>> rick: okay. all right.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
179,00:03:55.349,00:03:56.164,"if i sounded a little defensive,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
180,00:03:56.289,00:03:56.895,it's because,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
181,00:03:57.020,00:03:57.565,pirates of the pancreas was my,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
182,00:03:57.690,00:03:58.465,baby.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
183,00:03:58.590,00:03:59.465,"you know, i got i got a lot",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
184,00:03:59.590,00:04:00.224,"of pushback when i pitched it,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
185,00:04:00.349,00:04:00.865,morty.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
186,00:04:00.990,00:04:01.595,i guess i'm still a little,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
187,00:04:01.720,00:04:02.465,defensive.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
188,00:04:02.590,00:04:03.194,"let's just find dr. bloom,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
189,00:04:03.319,00:04:03.895,all right?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
190,00:04:04.020,00:04:04.895,i-i'm picking up a distress,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
191,00:04:05.020,00:04:05.824,"signal in the liver, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
192,00:04:05.949,00:04:07.689,proceed to the liver.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
193,00:04:12.190,00:04:12.925,>> arriving at...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
194,00:04:13.050,00:04:13.824,[ bell dings ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
195,00:04:13.949,00:04:14.925,... liver.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
196,00:04:15.050,00:04:15.894,>> morty: ow!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
197,00:04:16.019,00:04:17.518,>> mind the gap.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
198,00:04:19.990,00:04:20.694,>> morty: it's really scary in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
199,00:04:20.819,00:04:21.565,"here, rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
200,00:04:21.690,00:04:22.324,>> rick: the liver's under,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
201,00:04:22.449,00:04:23.125,maintenance.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
202,00:04:23.250,00:04:23.865,"reuben's seen some rough years,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
203,00:04:23.990,00:04:24.464,morty.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
204,00:04:24.589,00:04:25.194,don't judge.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
205,00:04:25.319,00:04:26.295,you don't agree to have a theme,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
206,00:04:26.420,00:04:27.425,park built inside you if your,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
207,00:04:27.550,00:04:29.795,life's going great.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
208,00:04:29.920,00:04:30.565,>> [ roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
209,00:04:30.690,00:04:31.394,>> morty: [ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
210,00:04:31.519,00:04:32.495,rick! it's a monster!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
211,00:04:32.620,00:04:33.595,">> rick: no, no, no. morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
212,00:04:33.720,00:04:34.694,the only monster here is,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
213,00:04:34.819,00:04:36.795,alco...[belches]... holism.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
214,00:04:36.920,00:04:38.595,that is an animatronic werewolf.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
215,00:04:38.720,00:04:39.524,>> [ grunts ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
216,00:04:39.649,00:04:40.464,who are you?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
217,00:04:40.589,00:04:41.694,answer me!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
218,00:04:41.819,00:04:42.725,where'd you come from?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
219,00:04:42.850,00:04:43.524,>> morty: my my my grandpa,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
220,00:04:43.649,00:04:44.365,rick sent me!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
221,00:04:44.490,00:04:45.425,>> poncho!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
222,00:04:45.550,00:04:46.894,that's quite enough.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
223,00:04:47.019,00:04:48.894,"morty, that's poncho.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
224,00:04:49.019,00:04:50.365,this is roger and annie.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
225,00:04:50.490,00:04:51.625,>> morty: [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
226,00:04:51.750,00:04:54.425,>> and i am dr. xenon bloom.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
227,00:04:54.550,00:04:55.194,>> morty: [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
228,00:04:55.319,00:04:56.264,">> rick: hey, bloom, it's rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
229,00:04:56.389,00:04:57.264,what the hell's going on here?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
230,00:04:57.389,00:04:59.295,">> i don't know why, but the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
231,00:04:59.420,00:05:01.595,entire security system has shut,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
232,00:05:01.720,00:05:03.725,"down, and i'm afraid... the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
233,00:05:03.850,00:05:05.495,exhibits are unlocked.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
234,00:05:05.620,00:05:06.995,>> morty: exhibits?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
235,00:05:07.120,00:05:08.694,>> anatomy park's greatest,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
236,00:05:08.819,00:05:10.165,"attraction, young man, isn't the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
237,00:05:10.290,00:05:11.964,music or the food or the...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
238,00:05:12.089,00:05:12.995,pirates of the pancreas.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
239,00:05:13.120,00:05:14.194,>> rick: watch it.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
240,00:05:14.319,00:05:15.964,">> it is, first and foremost, a",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
241,00:05:16.089,00:05:18.264,living museum of humanity's most,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
242,00:05:18.389,00:05:19.665,noble and ferocious diseases.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
243,00:05:19.790,00:05:20.625,>> morty: diseases?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
244,00:05:20.750,00:05:21.524,[ creature roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
245,00:05:21.649,00:05:22.595,">> hey, doc.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
246,00:05:22.720,00:05:24.865,i got news for you.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
247,00:05:24.990,00:05:26.565,your living museum is officially,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
248,00:05:26.690,00:05:28.065,a wild safari!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
249,00:05:28.190,00:05:29.995,>> hepatitis a! run!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
250,00:05:30.120,00:05:33.318,[ all scream ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
251,00:05:35.790,00:05:37.625,">> oh, the food goes inyour",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
252,00:05:37.750,00:05:38.394,"mouth, girl.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
253,00:05:38.519,00:05:39.264,[ laughter ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
254,00:05:39.389,00:05:40.565,">> [ laughing ] oh, jacob.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
255,00:05:40.690,00:05:41.865,>> jerry: [ laughs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
256,00:05:41.990,00:05:43.565,"i-i'm sorry, jacob.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
257,00:05:43.690,00:05:44.694,i-i guess i'm still confused,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
258,00:05:44.819,00:05:46.194,about the precise nature and,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
259,00:05:46.319,00:05:47.625,origin of your relationship with,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
260,00:05:47.750,00:05:48.725,my parents.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
261,00:05:48.850,00:05:49.625,"are you, like, uh are you,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
262,00:05:49.750,00:05:50.425,"like, their caretaker?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
263,00:05:50.550,00:05:51.194,is that what it is?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
264,00:05:51.319,00:05:52.295,">> we can go into detail later,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
265,00:05:52.420,00:05:52.764,son.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
266,00:05:52.889,00:05:53.894,">> now, wait.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
267,00:05:54.019,00:05:55.865,th-there's no point to secrecy.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
268,00:05:55.990,00:05:57.824,let's all live and die honestly.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
269,00:05:57.949,00:05:58.995,your mother and i have shared,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
270,00:05:59.120,00:06:00.795,"40 years of each other, mind,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
271,00:06:00.920,00:06:02.295,"body, and soul, and when minds",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
272,00:06:02.420,00:06:03.824,and souls are joined for,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
273,00:06:03.949,00:06:06.125,eternity and when eternity is,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
274,00:06:06.250,00:06:08.065,"at the door, it's an invitation",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
275,00:06:08.190,00:06:09.824,to let go of the body and an,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
276,00:06:09.949,00:06:11.524,opportunity to share and,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
277,00:06:11.649,00:06:12.125,experiment.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
278,00:06:12.250,00:06:13.065,">> jerry: dad, please.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
279,00:06:13.190,00:06:14.125,what are you saying?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
280,00:06:14.250,00:06:15.225,">> beth: whatever it is, it's",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
281,00:06:15.350,00:06:16.095,"beautiful, leonard, and we",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
282,00:06:16.220,00:06:16.964,support you.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
283,00:06:17.089,00:06:18.024,">> jerry: hey, speak for",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
284,00:06:18.149,00:06:19.225,"yourself, because it [laughs",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
285,00:06:19.350,00:06:20.324,nervously] sounds like you're,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
286,00:06:20.449,00:06:21.264,about to say jacob is your,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
287,00:06:21.389,00:06:21.925,lover.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
288,00:06:22.050,00:06:23.295,">> no, no, no, no, no, no.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
289,00:06:23.420,00:06:24.995,jacob is your mother's lover.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
290,00:06:25.120,00:06:26.365,[ chuckles ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
291,00:06:26.490,00:06:28.095,i watch them sometimes from a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
292,00:06:28.220,00:06:29.964,chair and sometimes from a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
293,00:06:30.089,00:06:31.625,"closet, almost always dressed as",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
294,00:06:31.750,00:06:32.524,superman.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
295,00:06:32.649,00:06:34.324,>> [ smooches ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
296,00:06:34.449,00:06:37.725,>> oh.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
297,00:06:37.850,00:06:38.725,"jerry, this ham has got to be",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
298,00:06:38.850,00:06:39.524,"all you, right?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
299,00:06:39.649,00:06:40.925,it's incredible.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
300,00:06:41.050,00:06:42.694,[ chuckles ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
301,00:06:42.819,00:06:43.495,">> summer: happy human holiday,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
302,00:06:43.620,00:06:45.725,dad.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
303,00:06:45.850,00:06:46.964,>> aah!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
304,00:06:47.089,00:06:49.024,>> [ roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
305,00:06:49.149,00:06:50.365,>> hepatitis won't follow us,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
306,00:06:50.490,00:06:54.125,into the respiratory system.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
307,00:06:54.250,00:06:55.225,>> that's strange.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
308,00:06:55.350,00:06:56.894,airflow is down 20%.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
309,00:06:57.019,00:06:57.865,">> so, the brain isn't getting",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
310,00:06:57.990,00:06:59.495,enough oxygen.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
311,00:06:59.620,00:07:00.764,that'swhy security's offline.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
312,00:07:00.889,00:07:01.795,">> morty: well, i guess we",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
313,00:07:01.920,00:07:03.549,better check it out.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
314,00:07:06.089,00:07:07.964,>> hey! wait for me!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
315,00:07:08.089,00:07:11.824,>> put that back on!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
316,00:07:11.949,00:07:12.964,>> if we got up to the bronchial,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
317,00:07:13.089,00:07:13.725,"catwalk, we could look for a",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
318,00:07:13.850,00:07:14.625,blockage.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
319,00:07:14.750,00:07:15.795,>> morty: i'll go.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
320,00:07:15.920,00:07:17.365,[ laughs nervously ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
321,00:07:17.490,00:07:18.595,">> don't be a hero, kid.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
322,00:07:18.720,00:07:19.795,>> morty: i'm not.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
323,00:07:19.920,00:07:22.125,i'm doing it because it's fun.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
324,00:07:22.250,00:07:23.324,>> we shouldn't be here.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
325,00:07:23.449,00:07:24.995,">> whatever you do, do not fire",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
326,00:07:25.120,00:07:26.295,that thing in here.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
327,00:07:26.420,00:07:27.925,we must save reuben.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
328,00:07:28.050,00:07:28.925,this is my life's work.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
329,00:07:29.050,00:07:29.824,[ blob squeals ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
330,00:07:29.949,00:07:30.824,>> [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
331,00:07:30.949,00:07:32.324,">> it's all right, my dear.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
332,00:07:32.449,00:07:34.295,nearly all human lungs contain a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
333,00:07:34.420,00:07:36.194,"strain of these bacteria, but",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
334,00:07:36.319,00:07:39.024,the scar tissue keeps them...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
335,00:07:39.149,00:07:40.125,dormant.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
336,00:07:40.250,00:07:41.665,"morty, get down!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
337,00:07:41.790,00:07:42.595,>> morty: whoa-ho-ho!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
338,00:07:42.720,00:07:43.925,whoa!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
339,00:07:44.050,00:07:45.095,[ bacteria snarl ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
340,00:07:45.220,00:07:46.725,">> morty: whoa, whoa, whoa!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
341,00:07:46.850,00:07:50.065,[ grunting ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
342,00:07:50.190,00:07:51.464,"oh, what are those things?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
343,00:07:51.589,00:07:52.725,>> tuberculosis coming in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
344,00:07:52.850,00:07:53.795,fast!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
345,00:07:53.920,00:07:55.024,>> not faster than a bullet!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
346,00:07:55.149,00:07:55.995,aah!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
347,00:07:56.120,00:07:57.194,>> no!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
348,00:07:57.319,00:07:58.725,do you know what you've done?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
349,00:07:58.850,00:07:59.694,>> [ coughs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
350,00:07:59.819,00:08:01.648,>> all: whoa!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
351,00:08:04.319,00:08:05.524,>> get to the digestive tract!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
352,00:08:05.649,00:08:06.295,he's coughing!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
353,00:08:06.420,00:08:07.165,>> [ coughs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
354,00:08:07.290,00:08:09.324,>> whoaaaa!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
355,00:08:09.449,00:08:10.365,don't let me die!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
356,00:08:10.490,00:08:11.324,>> rick: just take a deep,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
357,00:08:11.449,00:08:12.095,"breath, reuben.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
358,00:08:12.220,00:08:13.225,>> [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
359,00:08:13.350,00:08:14.595,>> morty: you're not gonna die!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
360,00:08:14.720,00:08:15.565,what's your name?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
361,00:08:15.690,00:08:16.194,>> my name is...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
362,00:08:16.319,00:08:17.365,>> [ coughs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
363,00:08:17.490,00:08:19.964,>> alexand [ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
364,00:08:20.089,00:08:21.764,>> [ coughs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
365,00:08:21.889,00:08:23.194,[ all grunt ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
366,00:08:23.319,00:08:24.194,>> morty: rick r-r-reuben's,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
367,00:08:24.319,00:08:25.394,got tuberculosis!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
368,00:08:25.519,00:08:26.495,">> rick: oh, great work, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
369,00:08:26.620,00:08:27.125,"okay, i'll just cure it and",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
370,00:08:27.250,00:08:27.725,then,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
371,00:08:27.850,00:08:29.125,[ flatline ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
372,00:08:29.250,00:08:30.194,okay.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
373,00:08:30.319,00:08:31.795,"well, i can't cure death.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
374,00:08:31.920,00:08:33.095,"this is bad, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
375,00:08:33.220,00:08:34.264,you're trapped in a dead man.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
376,00:08:34.389,00:08:35.524,"listen, if the situation keeps",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
377,00:08:35.649,00:08:36.695,"darkening, do yourself a favor",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
378,00:08:36.820,00:08:37.365,and pop by,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
379,00:08:37.490,00:08:38.495,pirates of the pancreas.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
380,00:08:38.620,00:08:39.825,"obviously i'm biased, but i",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
381,00:08:39.950,00:08:40.965,"think it's great, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
382,00:08:41.090,00:08:42.095,it's a bunch of [belches],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
383,00:08:42.220,00:08:43.095,pirates running around a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
384,00:08:43.220,00:08:44.264,[belches] pancreas.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
385,00:08:44.389,00:08:45.465,"we don't whitewash it, either,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
386,00:08:45.590,00:08:46.225,morty.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
387,00:08:46.350,00:08:47.394,"i mean, the pirates are really",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
388,00:08:47.519,00:08:48.565,rapey.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
389,00:08:48.690,00:08:49.924,"the top priority is to get, you",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
390,00:08:50.049,00:08:51.125,"know, you guys out of there, but",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
391,00:08:51.250,00:08:52.365,"i'm just saying, if that becomes",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
392,00:08:52.490,00:08:53.225,"impossible, please, you gotta",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
393,00:08:53.350,00:08:54.388,treat yourself.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
394,00:08:55.149,00:08:55.995,">> morty: oh, man.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
395,00:08:56.120,00:08:56.965,w-w-w-what is that horrible,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
396,00:08:57.090,00:08:58.095,smell?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
397,00:08:58.220,00:08:59.095,>> you mean the panda express?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
398,00:08:59.220,00:09:00.195,[ chuckles ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
399,00:09:00.320,00:09:02.195,kidding. i-i'm kidding.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
400,00:09:02.320,00:09:03.394,the body is beginning to,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
401,00:09:03.519,00:09:05.625,constrict and fill with gas.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
402,00:09:05.750,00:09:07.825,"we're inside a corpse, my boy.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
403,00:09:07.950,00:09:08.865,anatomy park is doomed.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
404,00:09:08.990,00:09:09.725,>> morty: forget about the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
405,00:09:09.850,00:09:10.894,"park, doctor!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
406,00:09:11.019,00:09:11.924,how do we get out?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
407,00:09:12.049,00:09:13.264,>> the digestive tract is the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
408,00:09:13.389,00:09:14.225,evacuation route.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
409,00:09:14.350,00:09:15.365,get it?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
410,00:09:15.490,00:09:16.495,there's an emergency station in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
411,00:09:16.620,00:09:17.924,the colon with a ray that can,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
412,00:09:18.049,00:09:18.995,enlarge us all.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
413,00:09:19.120,00:09:19.924,">> morty: everybody, head for",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
414,00:09:20.049,00:09:20.965,the colon!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
415,00:09:21.090,00:09:22.195,>> now i'm taking orders from a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
416,00:09:22.320,00:09:23.865,12-year-old boy?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
417,00:09:23.990,00:09:25.495,">> morty, the scar sacs",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
418,00:09:25.620,00:09:27.264,containing the tuberculosis were,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
419,00:09:27.389,00:09:28.524,sabotaged.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
420,00:09:28.649,00:09:30.825,this disaster was an inside job.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
421,00:09:30.950,00:09:33.195,keep your eye on annie.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
422,00:09:33.320,00:09:35.125,she was written up several times,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
423,00:09:35.250,00:09:36.595,by her manager at the churro,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
424,00:09:36.720,00:09:37.424,stand.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
425,00:09:37.549,00:09:39.024,>> intestines are ahead to the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
426,00:09:39.149,00:09:40.195,"left, then to the right, then",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
427,00:09:40.320,00:09:44.024,"left, et cetera.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
428,00:09:44.149,00:09:44.995,">> morty: hey, just so you know,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
429,00:09:45.120,00:09:46.764,i-i-i'm actually 14.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
430,00:09:46.889,00:09:47.595,"so, you know...",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
431,00:09:47.720,00:09:48.325,>> what?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
432,00:09:48.450,00:09:49.725,>> morty: not 12.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
433,00:09:49.850,00:09:51.495,>> okay.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
434,00:09:51.620,00:09:52.924,">> morty: you know, because he",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
435,00:09:53.049,00:09:54.024,just said i was 12.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
436,00:09:54.149,00:09:55.065,>> oh.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
437,00:09:55.190,00:09:56.865,good for you.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
438,00:09:56.990,00:09:58.325,>> rick: oof. ugh. morty.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
439,00:09:58.450,00:09:59.924,strike one.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
440,00:10:00.049,00:10:00.825,>> morty: [ groans ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
441,00:10:00.950,00:10:02.225,[ festive music plays ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
442,00:10:02.350,00:10:04.325,>> ♪ it's a road of wonder ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
443,00:10:04.450,00:10:06.264,♪ a trail of food ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
444,00:10:06.389,00:10:08.264,♪ it's a pathway to break up,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
445,00:10:08.389,00:10:10.225,the bad and good ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
446,00:10:10.350,00:10:12.264,♪ it's a tube that digests,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
447,00:10:12.389,00:10:14.125,and then sends out the rest ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
448,00:10:14.250,00:10:15.565,"♪ it's a small, small",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
449,00:10:15.690,00:10:18.294,intestine ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
450,00:10:18.419,00:10:19.695,>> it goes on like this for,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
451,00:10:19.820,00:10:21.065,miles.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
452,00:10:21.190,00:10:22.095,>> then we get to the large,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
453,00:10:22.220,00:10:22.894,intestine!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
454,00:10:23.019,00:10:23.595,[ creature roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
455,00:10:23.720,00:10:24.664,shh!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
456,00:10:24.789,00:10:26.089,i hear something.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
457,00:10:28.850,00:10:29.924,>> [ roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
458,00:10:30.049,00:10:31.294,>> don't move.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
459,00:10:31.419,00:10:33.325,gonorrhea can't see us if we,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
460,00:10:33.450,00:10:34.794,don't move.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
461,00:10:34.919,00:10:37.294,>> [ roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
462,00:10:37.419,00:10:38.264,">> wait, i was wrong.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
463,00:10:38.389,00:10:39.595,i was thinking of a t. rex.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
464,00:10:39.720,00:10:41.565,[ all scream ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
465,00:10:41.690,00:10:43.018,>> move!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
466,00:10:47.019,00:10:47.924,>> we're sitting ducks!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
467,00:10:48.049,00:10:49.095,">> morty: doc, didn't you say",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
468,00:10:49.220,00:10:49.825,that the body was filling with,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
469,00:10:49.950,00:10:50.195,gas?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
470,00:10:50.320,00:10:51.495,>> yes. why?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
471,00:10:51.620,00:10:53.195,">> kid, you're a genius.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
472,00:10:53.320,00:10:54.125,>> are you mad?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
473,00:10:54.250,00:10:55.725,">> morty: everybody, in here!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
474,00:10:55.850,00:10:56.764,>> [ roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
475,00:10:56.889,00:10:58.325,">> hey, gonorrhea!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
476,00:10:58.450,00:10:59.825,how's thisfor a burning,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
477,00:10:59.950,00:11:01.089,sensation?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
478,00:11:04.450,00:11:07.894,>> [ groans ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
479,00:11:08.019,00:11:09.424,>> huh.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
480,00:11:09.549,00:11:11.024,>> morty: [ giggles ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
481,00:11:11.149,00:11:12.195,>> summer: ♪ drummer drum drum,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
482,00:11:12.320,00:11:13.294,drum drum drum ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
483,00:11:13.419,00:11:14.294,♪ drum drum drum drum drum,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
484,00:11:14.419,00:11:15.065,drum ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
485,00:11:15.190,00:11:16.164,♪ christmas drums ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
486,00:11:16.289,00:11:17.424,">> oh, sing it, summer.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
487,00:11:17.549,00:11:18.365,>> summer: ♪ christmas drums,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
488,00:11:18.490,00:11:19.365,being played by a bo-o-o-y ♪,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
489,00:11:19.490,00:11:19.995,">> oh, i love to hear you sing.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
490,00:11:20.120,00:11:21.995,[ laughs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
491,00:11:22.120,00:11:23.995,>> summer: [ scatting ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
492,00:11:24.120,00:11:24.995,">> beth: jerry, come on.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
493,00:11:25.120,00:11:26.024,this is what you wanted.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
494,00:11:26.149,00:11:27.164,">> jerry: i get it, beth.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
495,00:11:27.289,00:11:28.495,be careful what you wish for.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
496,00:11:28.620,00:11:29.225,i'm being punished for taking,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
497,00:11:29.350,00:11:29.995,your ipad.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
498,00:11:30.120,00:11:31.195,>> beth: what?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
499,00:11:31.320,00:11:33.125,"jerry, let that stuff go, okay?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
500,00:11:33.250,00:11:34.325,i'm sorry i was a bitch earlier.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
501,00:11:34.450,00:11:36.565,let's just be here.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
502,00:11:36.690,00:11:37.495,>> [ grunts ] summer!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
503,00:11:37.620,00:11:38.465,>> summer: ethan?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
504,00:11:38.590,00:11:39.625,what are you doing here?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
505,00:11:39.750,00:11:40.595,>> i've been texting you for,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
506,00:11:40.720,00:11:41.095,hours!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
507,00:11:41.220,00:11:42.095,what the hell?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
508,00:11:42.220,00:11:42.924,>> summer: i don't have my,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
509,00:11:43.049,00:11:43.595,phone!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
510,00:11:43.720,00:11:45.095,i'm doing a human holiday!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
511,00:11:45.220,00:11:46.524,">> well, did you even consider",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
512,00:11:46.649,00:11:47.995,how that might make mefeel?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
513,00:11:48.120,00:11:49.125,>> summer: how youfeel?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
514,00:11:49.250,00:11:50.164,why is everything always,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
515,00:11:50.289,00:11:51.365,happening to you?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
516,00:11:51.490,00:11:52.365,">> jerry: summer, do you have a",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
517,00:11:52.490,00:11:53.394,boyfriend?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
518,00:11:53.519,00:11:54.725,">> yeah, do you, summer?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
519,00:11:54.850,00:11:55.924,">> summer: i don't know, ethan.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
520,00:11:56.049,00:11:57.095,do i?!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
521,00:11:57.220,00:11:59.365,">> jerry, no disrespect, but you",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
522,00:11:59.490,00:12:00.365,really need to connect more with,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
523,00:12:00.490,00:12:02.595,"your family, man.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
524,00:12:02.720,00:12:04.164,>> i should be able to access,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
525,00:12:04.289,00:12:05.294,the backup generator to get the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
526,00:12:05.419,00:12:06.325,growth ray online.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
527,00:12:06.450,00:12:07.595,"if it works, we'll be",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
528,00:12:07.720,00:12:09.225,regular-sized in a few minutes.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
529,00:12:09.350,00:12:10.264,i just hope reuben's not in a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
530,00:12:10.389,00:12:11.095,room with white carpets or,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
531,00:12:11.220,00:12:11.764,upholstery.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
532,00:12:11.889,00:12:12.595,[ rumbling ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
533,00:12:12.720,00:12:14.294,>> what the hell is that?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
534,00:12:14.419,00:12:15.565,>> the sphincter dam.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
535,00:12:15.690,00:12:17.024,we built it when reuben became,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
536,00:12:17.149,00:12:18.294,"incontinent, but it was not",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
537,00:12:18.419,00:12:21.095,designed to hold a corpse load.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
538,00:12:21.220,00:12:22.325,>> i've almost got it.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
539,00:12:22.450,00:12:23.195,"everybody, move inside the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
540,00:12:23.320,00:12:23.995,circle.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
541,00:12:24.120,00:12:25.065,[ bacterium squeals ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
542,00:12:25.190,00:12:26.294,>> morty: poncho?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
543,00:12:26.419,00:12:27.995,what is this in your backpack?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
544,00:12:28.120,00:12:30.065,>> that's bubonic plague!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
545,00:12:30.190,00:12:30.894,"what are you doing with that,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
546,00:12:31.019,00:12:31.294,poncho?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
547,00:12:31.419,00:12:32.195,>> [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
548,00:12:32.320,00:12:33.465,">> everybody, get back!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
549,00:12:33.590,00:12:35.125,">> poncho, you son of a bitch!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
550,00:12:35.250,00:12:36.565,you released the tuberculosis,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
551,00:12:36.690,00:12:38.264,so you could steal from me?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
552,00:12:38.389,00:12:39.995,">> that's right, baby.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
553,00:12:40.120,00:12:41.424,a lot of people would pay top,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
554,00:12:41.549,00:12:42.695,dollar to decimate the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
555,00:12:42.820,00:12:43.764,population.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
556,00:12:43.889,00:12:45.195,i'll take the highest bidder,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
557,00:12:45.320,00:12:47.225,"al-qaeda, north korea,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
558,00:12:47.350,00:12:49.595,"republicans, shriners, balding",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
559,00:12:49.720,00:12:51.325,"men that work out, people on the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
560,00:12:51.450,00:12:52.965,internet that are only turned on,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
561,00:12:53.090,00:12:54.294,by cartoons of japanese,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
562,00:12:54.419,00:12:56.164,teenagers anything is better,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
563,00:12:56.289,00:12:57.894,"than working for you, you",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
564,00:12:58.019,00:13:00.125,"pompous, negligent,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
565,00:13:00.250,00:13:02.495,itunes-gift-card-as-a-holiday-,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
566,00:13:02.620,00:13:03.394,bonus-giving mother,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
567,00:13:03.519,00:13:04.424,>> morty: [ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
568,00:13:04.549,00:13:05.195,>> [ grunts ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
569,00:13:05.320,00:13:07.625,come on!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
570,00:13:07.750,00:13:08.365,>> morty: [ groans ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
571,00:13:08.490,00:13:09.394,>> [ laughs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
572,00:13:09.519,00:13:10.125,[ bacterium squeals ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
573,00:13:10.250,00:13:11.065,>> aah!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
574,00:13:11.190,00:13:12.195,[ grunts ] get off!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
575,00:13:12.320,00:13:15.164,[ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
576,00:13:15.289,00:13:16.095,[ rumbling ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
577,00:13:16.220,00:13:17.125,>> you guys!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
578,00:13:17.250,00:13:18.394,>> it's gonna burst! go!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
579,00:13:18.519,00:13:19.465,"go, go, go!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
580,00:13:19.590,00:13:22.024,[ all panting ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
581,00:13:22.149,00:13:22.794,my foot is stuck.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
582,00:13:22.919,00:13:23.365,>> no!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
583,00:13:23.490,00:13:24.294,>> it's okay!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
584,00:13:24.419,00:13:25.524,it's okay. just go.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
585,00:13:25.649,00:13:26.764,tell my family i love them.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
586,00:13:26.889,00:13:27.825,they may be hard to find'cause,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
587,00:13:27.950,00:13:29.164,my wife kept her last name and,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
588,00:13:29.289,00:13:30.225,"she made the kids take it, too,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
589,00:13:30.350,00:13:31.725,"so, i-i don't know, you can",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
590,00:13:31.850,00:13:32.865,>> no!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
591,00:13:32.990,00:13:35.794,[ sobs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
592,00:13:35.919,00:13:37.225,">> let me ask you a question,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
593,00:13:37.350,00:13:38.664,ethan.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
594,00:13:38.789,00:13:39.764,"where's the anger coming from,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
595,00:13:39.889,00:13:40.465,man?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
596,00:13:40.590,00:13:41.394,>> from summer being a total,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
597,00:13:41.519,00:13:43.595,bitch!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
598,00:13:43.720,00:13:45.065,>> where's the anger coming,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
599,00:13:45.190,00:13:48.195,from?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
600,00:13:48.320,00:13:50.125,>> my brother... took me fishing,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
601,00:13:50.250,00:13:51.394,once... in the bushes...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
602,00:13:51.519,00:13:52.664,[ whimpers ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
603,00:13:52.789,00:13:53.264,[ voice breaking ] i can't... i,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
604,00:13:53.389,00:13:54.024,can't...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
605,00:13:54.149,00:13:55.125,[ sobs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
606,00:13:55.250,00:13:57.024,he made me feel like a girl!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
607,00:13:57.149,00:13:59.095,i he made me a girl!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
608,00:13:59.220,00:14:00.625,[ sobs ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
609,00:14:00.750,00:14:01.264,">> he didn't make you anything,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
610,00:14:01.389,00:14:02.424,man.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
611,00:14:02.549,00:14:04.394,you are who you are.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
612,00:14:04.519,00:14:06.394,she is who she is.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
613,00:14:06.519,00:14:08.495,"now, you go to her... brand-new.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
614,00:14:08.620,00:14:09.664,">> come here, right now.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
615,00:14:09.789,00:14:11.024,">> summer: oh, my god.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
616,00:14:11.149,00:14:11.924,"i'm so sorry, ethan!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
617,00:14:12.049,00:14:12.725,i love you!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
618,00:14:12.850,00:14:14.225,>> i love you so much.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
619,00:14:14.350,00:14:15.524,[ both moaning ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
620,00:14:15.649,00:14:17.095,>> jerry: um...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
621,00:14:17.220,00:14:18.565,">> you did it again, cubbie.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
622,00:14:18.690,00:14:19.894,come here.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
623,00:14:20.019,00:14:24.595,[ both moaning ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
624,00:14:24.720,00:14:26.625,>> jerry: no! stop! i hate this!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
625,00:14:26.750,00:14:27.794,">> well, christmas doesn't",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
626,00:14:27.919,00:14:28.764,"revolve around what you hate,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
627,00:14:28.889,00:14:29.424,son.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
628,00:14:29.549,00:14:30.264,">> jerry: well, then i hate",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
629,00:14:30.389,00:14:31.164,christmas!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
630,00:14:31.289,00:14:32.764,enjoy being human!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
631,00:14:32.889,00:14:35.095,you guys are gross and lame.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
632,00:14:35.220,00:14:36.664,>> my name's reuben ridley.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
633,00:14:36.789,00:14:38.625,"you're inside me right now, but",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
634,00:14:38.750,00:14:39.424,by the end of this journey...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
635,00:14:39.549,00:14:40.394,>> whoopsie.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
636,00:14:40.519,00:14:43.465,>> i'll be inside all of you.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
637,00:14:43.590,00:14:45.125,my story begins during the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
638,00:14:45.250,00:14:46.195,dot-com crash in the early,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
639,00:14:46.320,00:14:46.825,'90s.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
640,00:14:46.950,00:14:48.725,[ whirring ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
641,00:14:48.850,00:14:49.664,>> you can put your fingers,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
642,00:14:49.789,00:14:50.725,wherever you want.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
643,00:14:50.850,00:14:51.764,">> rick: morty, you want to put",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
644,00:14:51.889,00:14:52.625,it on mute or something?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
645,00:14:52.750,00:14:53.394,i'm i'm trying to,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
646,00:14:53.519,00:14:54.125,concentrate.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
647,00:14:54.250,00:14:55.264,>> jerry: uh... rick?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
648,00:14:55.389,00:14:56.195,">> rick: not now, jerry.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
649,00:14:56.320,00:14:57.424,"i've got [belches] much, much",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
650,00:14:57.549,00:14:58.365,smaller fish to fry.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
651,00:14:58.490,00:14:59.164,>> jerry: i wanted to say i'm,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
652,00:14:59.289,00:15:01.164,sorry i ever judged you.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
653,00:15:01.289,00:15:01.965,"right now, you're my sanest",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
654,00:15:02.090,00:15:03.325,relative.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
655,00:15:03.450,00:15:04.264,>> rick: relative.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
656,00:15:04.389,00:15:05.264,r-relative size!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
657,00:15:05.389,00:15:06.164,"jerry, hand me a scalpel and a",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
658,00:15:06.289,00:15:06.924,bundle of dynamite.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
659,00:15:07.049,00:15:07.894,"morty, can you get to the left",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
660,00:15:08.019,00:15:08.524,nipple?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
661,00:15:08.649,00:15:09.625,>> morty: are you kidding?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
662,00:15:09.750,00:15:10.365,i'm hoping i can get to both of,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
663,00:15:10.490,00:15:11.294,"'em, rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
664,00:15:11.419,00:15:12.424,">> rick: no, morty, i'm talking",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
665,00:15:12.549,00:15:13.164,about reuben'sleft nipple.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
666,00:15:13.289,00:15:14.695,[ rumbling ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
667,00:15:14.820,00:15:15.524,>> morty: [ grunts ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
668,00:15:15.649,00:15:16.225,we need to get to the left,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
669,00:15:16.350,00:15:17.565,nipple!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
670,00:15:17.690,00:15:18.965,>> the body is decaying.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
671,00:15:19.090,00:15:20.325,the arterial transit system is,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
672,00:15:20.450,00:15:21.664,useless.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
673,00:15:21.789,00:15:23.264,we can try the service shuttle.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
674,00:15:23.389,00:15:24.225,it's connected to the skeletal,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
675,00:15:24.350,00:15:24.924,system.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
676,00:15:25.049,00:15:26.125,that's why we call it the bone,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
677,00:15:26.250,00:15:26.865,train.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
678,00:15:26.990,00:15:28.294,would you like to ride the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
679,00:15:28.419,00:15:30.465,"bone train, miss?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
680,00:15:30.590,00:15:31.495,>> if it'll get us out of here.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
681,00:15:31.620,00:15:33.394,">> how about you, morty?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
682,00:15:33.519,00:15:34.365,would youlike to ride the bone,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
683,00:15:34.490,00:15:35.325,train?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
684,00:15:35.450,00:15:36.325,>> morty: why are you doing this,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
685,00:15:36.450,00:15:37.394,bit?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
686,00:15:37.519,00:15:39.189,we're gonna die! let's go!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
687,00:15:40.919,00:15:42.625,>> jerry: well... i can see,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
688,00:15:42.750,00:15:43.825,you're busy.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
689,00:15:43.950,00:15:47.424,"merry christmas, rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
690,00:15:47.549,00:15:48.764,>> rick: [ groans ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
691,00:15:48.889,00:15:50.495,>> there's no autopilot.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
692,00:15:50.620,00:15:51.764,one of us will have to stay here,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
693,00:15:51.889,00:15:53.788,and operate it manually.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
694,00:15:58.620,00:15:59.865,">> morty: uh, well...",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
695,00:15:59.990,00:16:00.825,">> no, you're you're right.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
696,00:16:00.950,00:16:01.894,i-it was a dick move for me to,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
697,00:16:02.019,00:16:02.865,even pause like that.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
698,00:16:02.990,00:16:03.595,this is all my fault.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
699,00:16:03.720,00:16:04.565,you go on.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
700,00:16:04.690,00:16:05.365,[ bacteria screeching ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
701,00:16:05.490,00:16:07.225,>> what the hell is that?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
702,00:16:07.350,00:16:09.095,>> e. coli outbreak.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
703,00:16:09.220,00:16:09.695,hurry!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
704,00:16:09.820,00:16:10.495,>> morty: [ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
705,00:16:10.620,00:16:11.794,>> [ grunts ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
706,00:16:11.919,00:16:13.625,"wait, there isan autopilot.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
707,00:16:13.750,00:16:15.524,wait!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
708,00:16:15.649,00:16:16.965,it's okay! never mind!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
709,00:16:17.090,00:16:18.294,i wanted to sacrifice myself,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
710,00:16:18.419,00:16:19.918,anyway!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
711,00:16:22.549,00:16:23.725,they're they're chewing,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
712,00:16:23.850,00:16:24.524,through the doors!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
713,00:16:24.649,00:16:26.024,>> morty: [ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
714,00:16:26.149,00:16:27.495,">> morty: we're in the areola,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
715,00:16:27.620,00:16:28.664,"rick almost to the nipple,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
716,00:16:28.789,00:16:29.565,but we're also in a really bad,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
717,00:16:29.690,00:16:30.595,situation!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
718,00:16:30.720,00:16:31.125,">> rick: i'm almost there,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
719,00:16:31.250,00:16:32.819,morty!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
720,00:16:42.649,00:16:43.865,>> reports from all over the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
721,00:16:43.990,00:16:45.264,country have been coming in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
722,00:16:45.389,00:16:46.924,about what appears to be a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
723,00:16:47.049,00:16:48.764,"giant, naked man over the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
724,00:16:48.889,00:16:50.794,continental united states.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
725,00:16:50.919,00:16:52.095,we now go to tom randolph in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
726,00:16:52.220,00:16:52.495,new york.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
727,00:16:52.620,00:16:53.394,tom?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
728,00:16:53.519,00:16:54.625,">> well, the eyes aren't",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
729,00:16:54.750,00:16:56.024,twinkling and the dimples aren't,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
730,00:16:56.149,00:16:57.965,"merry, but i'm standing under a",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
731,00:16:58.090,00:17:00.365,nose like a 70-mile cherry.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
732,00:17:00.490,00:17:01.465,">> thank you, tom.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
733,00:17:01.590,00:17:03.095,let's go now to eric mcmahan in,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
734,00:17:03.220,00:17:04.065,los angeles.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
735,00:17:04.190,00:17:05.694,>> we've got feet here on the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
736,00:17:05.819,00:17:07.765,"west coast, bill giant feet,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
737,00:17:07.890,00:17:09.825,even relative to the giant man's,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
738,00:17:09.950,00:17:11.525,"size, and you knowwhat they say",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
739,00:17:11.650,00:17:12.595,about that.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
740,00:17:12.720,00:17:14.625,">> well, if the old adage is",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
741,00:17:14.750,00:17:16.525,"true, one can only wonder what's",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
742,00:17:16.650,00:17:17.724,going down in the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
743,00:17:17.849,00:17:20.525,rocky mountains.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
744,00:17:20.650,00:17:22.464,>> wha?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
745,00:17:22.589,00:17:24.318,[ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
746,00:17:28.420,00:17:31.825,[ bacteria screeching ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
747,00:17:31.950,00:17:33.295,">> morty: oh my god, the track!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
748,00:17:33.420,00:17:34.664,>> it's hepatitis a!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
749,00:17:34.789,00:17:36.489,>> morty: aaaah!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
750,00:17:47.619,00:17:49.765,[ screams ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
751,00:17:49.890,00:17:51.325,>> [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
752,00:17:51.450,00:17:52.825,the nipple hole.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
753,00:17:52.950,00:17:55.048,>> morty: it's beautiful.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
754,00:18:00.619,00:18:01.694,>> [ roars ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
755,00:18:01.819,00:18:02.494,">> oh, no!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
756,00:18:02.619,00:18:04.118,>> morty: holy crap!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
757,00:18:07.119,00:18:09.194,>> whoa! it's hepatitis c!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
758,00:18:09.319,00:18:10.548,>> [ grunts ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
759,00:18:14.250,00:18:15.625,>> morty: um... wait did we,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
760,00:18:15.750,00:18:16.565,have some sort of relationship,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
761,00:18:16.690,00:18:17.494,with him?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
762,00:18:17.619,00:18:18.464,>> i think they're just like,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
763,00:18:18.589,00:18:19.194,that?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
764,00:18:19.319,00:18:20.964,i think they're just good guys.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
765,00:18:21.089,00:18:23.994,>> morty: oh. huh.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
766,00:18:24.119,00:18:25.125,>> rick: where's dr. bloom?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
767,00:18:25.250,00:18:26.125,">> morty: i'm sorry, rick, but",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
768,00:18:26.250,00:18:26.795,he's dead.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
769,00:18:26.920,00:18:27.765,">> rick: god damn it, morty.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
770,00:18:27.890,00:18:29.548,i ask you to do one thing!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
771,00:18:39.890,00:18:40.625,>> beth: jerry doesn't know what,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
772,00:18:40.750,00:18:41.595,he's missing.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
773,00:18:41.720,00:18:42.595,">> he'll come around, beth.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
774,00:18:42.720,00:18:43.994,christmas is a special time.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
775,00:18:44.119,00:18:45.424,it has funny ways of bringing,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
776,00:18:45.549,00:18:46.565,families together.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
777,00:18:46.690,00:18:47.865,">> beth: i don't know, jacob.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
778,00:18:47.990,00:18:49.095,jerry got an invitation to be,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
779,00:18:49.220,00:18:51.464,"alive today, and he rejected it.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
780,00:18:51.589,00:18:52.325,i don't know if our marriage,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
781,00:18:52.450,00:18:53.548,will...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
782,00:18:56.420,00:18:56.795,>> summer: [ gasps ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
783,00:18:56.920,00:18:58.365,it's raining blood!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
784,00:18:58.490,00:18:59.595,">> oh, shit. find jerry.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
785,00:18:59.720,00:19:00.464,">> oh, god.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
786,00:19:00.589,00:19:01.125,>> beth: jerry!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
787,00:19:01.250,00:19:02.095,>> jerry: it's all right.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
788,00:19:02.220,00:19:03.724,the tv says there's nothing to,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
789,00:19:03.849,00:19:04.865,worry about.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
790,00:19:04.990,00:19:06.494,">> the giant, naked sky santa",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
791,00:19:06.619,00:19:07.795,has exploded.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
792,00:19:07.920,00:19:09.625,blood and chunks of viscera are,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
793,00:19:09.750,00:19:11.565,raining down on the country.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
794,00:19:11.690,00:19:12.795,everything should be fine.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
795,00:19:12.920,00:19:13.765,[ all sigh ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
796,00:19:13.890,00:19:14.694,">> oh, yes.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
797,00:19:14.819,00:19:15.565,">> summer: dad, can i have my",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
798,00:19:15.690,00:19:16.664,phone back?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
799,00:19:16.789,00:19:18.724,">> jerry: a sure, sweetie. here.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
800,00:19:18.849,00:19:20.565,"everybody, take a device.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
801,00:19:20.690,00:19:22.224,it'll help you relax.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
802,00:19:22.349,00:19:22.964,>> this is nice.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
803,00:19:23.089,00:19:24.765,>> jerry: yeah.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
804,00:19:24.890,00:19:26.125,"look, i guess we really learned",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
805,00:19:26.250,00:19:27.565,"something this christmas, jacob.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
806,00:19:27.690,00:19:28.924,">> summer: no, we didn't, dad.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
807,00:19:29.049,00:19:30.625,"no, we didn't.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
808,00:19:30.750,00:19:32.565,>> rick: too bad about,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
809,00:19:32.690,00:19:33.894,dr. bloom.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
810,00:19:34.019,00:19:35.525,he was a genius the only man,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
811,00:19:35.650,00:19:36.424,capable of creating a new,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
812,00:19:36.549,00:19:37.664,anatomy park.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
813,00:19:37.789,00:19:38.825,">> actually, i studied",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
814,00:19:38.950,00:19:39.994,dr. bloom's work.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
815,00:19:40.119,00:19:41.224,i-i-i-i believe i have the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
816,00:19:41.349,00:19:42.625,knowledge necessary to create an,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
817,00:19:42.750,00:19:44.325,"entirely new, much safer park.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
818,00:19:44.450,00:19:45.365,>> rick: what about...,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
819,00:19:45.490,00:19:46.494,pirates of the pancreas?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
820,00:19:46.619,00:19:47.565,>> i think it was one of the,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
821,00:19:47.690,00:19:48.765,most underrated attractions.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
822,00:19:48.890,00:19:49.694,>> rick: boo-yah!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
823,00:19:49.819,00:19:52.095,hold your breath.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
824,00:19:52.220,00:19:52.924,">> morty: hey, w-w-what the",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
825,00:19:53.049,00:19:53.964,"hell, rick?!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
826,00:19:54.089,00:19:56.025,"what the hell, man! i liked her!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
827,00:19:56.150,00:19:56.724,i really had something going,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
828,00:19:56.849,00:19:57.565,"there, rick!",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
829,00:19:57.690,00:19:58.525,">> rick: yeah, so i heard.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
830,00:19:58.650,00:19:59.595,"[belches] you dodged a bullet,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
831,00:19:59.720,00:20:00.865,morty trust me.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
832,00:20:00.990,00:20:01.865,puffy vagina.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
833,00:20:01.990,00:20:02.625,>> morty: w-what's wrong with,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
834,00:20:02.750,00:20:03.464,that?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
835,00:20:03.589,00:20:04.325,that doesn't sound like a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
836,00:20:04.450,00:20:04.924,problem to me.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
837,00:20:05.049,00:20:05.865,i don't know.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
838,00:20:05.990,00:20:06.795,">> rick: come on, let's get",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
839,00:20:06.920,00:20:07.595,some stuffing.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
840,00:20:07.720,00:20:09.394,i'm starving.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
841,00:20:09.519,00:20:11.565,[ gadgets beeping ],S01,E03,Anatomy Park
842,00:20:11.690,00:20:12.494,"oh, unbelievable.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
843,00:20:12.619,00:20:13.494,we got we got a bunch of,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
844,00:20:13.619,00:20:15.065,"robot, computer people, sitting",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
845,00:20:15.190,00:20:16.595,around with their faces stuffed,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
846,00:20:16.720,00:20:17.795,into computer screens.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
847,00:20:17.920,00:20:18.865,do you guys realize that christ,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
848,00:20:18.990,00:20:20.625,was born today?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
849,00:20:20.750,00:20:21.664,"jesus christ, our savior, was",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
850,00:20:21.789,00:20:23.095,born today.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
851,00:20:23.220,00:20:23.894,are are are you people,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
852,00:20:24.019,00:20:25.265,even human?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
853,00:20:25.390,00:20:27.318,what kind of christmas is this?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
854,00:20:57.720,00:20:58.894,">> hey, rick?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
855,00:20:59.019,00:20:59.924,"rick, can you hear me?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
856,00:21:00.049,00:21:00.694,">> rick: loud and clear, annie.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
857,00:21:00.819,00:21:01.664,>> great.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
858,00:21:01.789,00:21:02.865,"we're also on with alejandro,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
859,00:21:02.990,00:21:03.694,our chf imaginarian.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
860,00:21:03.819,00:21:04.525,">> hey, rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
861,00:21:04.650,00:21:05.694,>> natalie jacobs and,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
862,00:21:05.819,00:21:06.924,chris deseter from microscopic,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
863,00:21:07.049,00:21:08.595,"marketing, zack from organ",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
864,00:21:08.720,00:21:09.525,"concepts, and jamie from new",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
865,00:21:09.650,00:21:10.164,media.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
866,00:21:10.289,00:21:10.964,">> rick: hey, everybody.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
867,00:21:11.089,00:21:11.625,">> hi, how's it going?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
868,00:21:11.750,00:21:12.565,">> hi, rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
869,00:21:12.690,00:21:13.694,">> so, pirates of the pancreas.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
870,00:21:13.819,00:21:14.525,>> rick: yeah. talk to me.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
871,00:21:14.650,00:21:15.194,">> hey, rick.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
872,00:21:15.319,00:21:16.795,it's alejandro speaking.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
873,00:21:16.920,00:21:18.625,"um, so, we asked ourselves,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
874,00:21:18.750,00:21:20.595,internally we asked ourselves,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
875,00:21:20.720,00:21:21.494,"over here, ""okay, what does a",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
876,00:21:21.619,00:21:23.224,"pancreas do?""",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
877,00:21:23.349,00:21:24.595,"and the answer was, ""does it",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
878,00:21:24.720,00:21:25.795,"make pirates?""",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
879,00:21:25.920,00:21:28.224,"no, it makes insulin, you know?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
880,00:21:28.349,00:21:30.494,"so, we're starting with a new",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
881,00:21:30.619,00:21:31.325,">> those guys are inside me,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
882,00:21:31.450,00:21:31.865,huh?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
883,00:21:31.990,00:21:32.994,"like, building a park?",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
884,00:21:33.119,00:21:34.265,>> rick: those guys are inside,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
885,00:21:34.390,00:21:35.265,"you building a pce of shit,",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
886,00:21:35.390,00:21:35.994,ethan!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
887,00:21:36.119,00:21:37.164,they're inside you building a,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
888,00:21:37.289,00:21:37.964,monument to compromise!,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
889,00:21:38.089,00:21:39.065,[bleep]'em.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
890,00:21:39.190,00:21:40.625,[bleep] those people.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
891,00:21:40.750,00:21:42.795,"[bleep] this whole thing, ethan.",S01,E03,Anatomy Park
892,00:21:42.920,00:21:44.295,>> cool.,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
893,00:21:44.420,00:21:45.421,and who pays me?,S01,E03,Anatomy Park
1,00:00:32.490,00:00:34.370,rick: t-t-t-this is just,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
2,00:00:34.390,00:00:35.369,sloppy craftsmanship.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
3,00:00:35.390,00:00:36.600,"morty: hey, rick.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
4,00:00:36.619,00:00:38.229,"boy, sure is really especially",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
5,00:00:38.250,00:00:39.500,"beautiful out there today, huh?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
6,00:00:39.520,00:00:40.730,"rick: oh, yes, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
7,00:00:40.750,00:00:41.829,"i-it's almost unbelievable,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
8,00:00:41.850,00:00:42.530,isn't it?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
9,00:00:42.549,00:00:43.729,"morty: yeah, you know?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
10,00:00:43.750,00:00:45.200,there's something about the air,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
11,00:00:45.219,00:00:46.030,and just the way the sunshine,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
12,00:00:46.049,00:00:46.869,is.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
13,00:00:46.890,00:00:47.969,"rick: uh, sure, buddy. yeah.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
14,00:00:47.990,00:00:48.469,sure. b-brilliant.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
15,00:00:48.490,00:00:49.530,very convincing.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
16,00:00:49.549,00:00:50.769,rick: wha convincing?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
17,00:00:50.789,00:00:52.199,"morty: oh. responsive, too.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
18,00:00:52.219,00:00:53.229,in real time. i love it.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
19,00:00:53.250,00:00:54.369,morty: uhh...okay.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
20,00:00:54.390,00:00:55.329,beth: [ robotic ] i'm going,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
21,00:00:55.350,00:00:56.130,to work.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
22,00:00:56.149,00:00:57.329,"morty, good morning.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
23,00:00:57.350,00:00:58.670,"dad, good morning.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
24,00:00:58.689,00:01:00.469,i am going to work. goodbye.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
25,00:01:00.490,00:01:02.200,morty: what's with mom?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
26,00:01:02.219,00:01:03.530,"rick: oh, what's with mom?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
27,00:01:03.549,00:01:04.500,"so, you're saying that she's",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
28,00:01:04.519,00:01:05.530,acting weird?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
29,00:01:05.549,00:01:07.170,how soph[burps]isticated.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
30,00:01:07.189,00:01:08.230,"careful, guys.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
31,00:01:08.250,00:01:09.170,you're gonna burn out the cpu,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
32,00:01:09.189,00:01:09.929,with this one.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
33,00:01:09.950,00:01:11.000,"morty: okay, you know what,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
34,00:01:11.019,00:01:11.700,rick?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
35,00:01:11.719,00:01:12.569,"you'reacting weird, too.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
36,00:01:12.590,00:01:13.630,"rick: whatever,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
37,00:01:13.650,00:01:15.500,"quote-unquote ""morty.""",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
38,00:01:15.519,00:01:16.869,"morty: all right, well...",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
39,00:01:16.890,00:01:18.230,i'll see you after school.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
40,00:01:18.250,00:01:19.530,ow! oof! ugh!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
41,00:01:19.549,00:01:20.599,damn it!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
42,00:01:20.620,00:01:22.600,i'm all right. i'm okay.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
43,00:01:22.620,00:01:24.700,rick: [ slurps ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
44,00:01:24.719,00:01:26.000,"all right, who can tell me",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
45,00:01:26.019,00:01:28.129,what 5 x 9 is?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
46,00:01:28.150,00:01:29.200,[ students whispering ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
47,00:01:29.219,00:01:30.129,morty?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
48,00:01:30.150,00:01:31.400,"morty: uh, me?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
49,00:01:31.420,00:01:32.769,what is 5 x 9?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
50,00:01:32.790,00:01:34.700,"morty: umm...you know, it's",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
51,00:01:34.719,00:01:36.230,uhh...at least 40.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
52,00:01:36.250,00:01:37.129,[ students gasp ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
53,00:01:37.150,00:01:38.170,"morty, that's exactly",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
54,00:01:38.189,00:01:39.429,correct!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
55,00:01:39.450,00:01:41.170,5 x 9 isat least 40!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
56,00:01:41.189,00:01:42.700,come up here.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
57,00:01:42.719,00:01:44.329,"whoo! way to go, morty!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
58,00:01:44.349,00:01:46.000,"everybody, this is the best",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
59,00:01:46.019,00:01:46.899,student.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
60,00:01:46.920,00:01:48.170,i want youto be the teacher,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
61,00:01:48.189,00:01:48.969,today.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
62,00:01:48.989,00:01:49.629,"teach us, morty!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
63,00:01:49.650,00:01:50.730,rick: interesting.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
64,00:01:50.750,00:01:51.700,morty: w-w-w-what do you want,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
65,00:01:51.719,00:01:52.429,me to teach you?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
66,00:01:52.450,00:01:53.370,"ooh, ooh!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
67,00:01:53.390,00:01:54.469,how do you make concentrated,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
68,00:01:54.489,00:01:55.599,dark matter?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
69,00:01:55.620,00:01:57.230,"oh, that's a good question.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
70,00:01:57.250,00:01:58.670,morty: concentrated huh?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
71,00:01:58.689,00:01:59.829,concentrated dark matter,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
72,00:01:59.849,00:02:00.969,the fuel for accelerated space,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
73,00:02:00.989,00:02:02.629,travel.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
74,00:02:02.650,00:02:03.400,"now, do you know how to make it?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
75,00:02:03.420,00:02:04.100,morty: umm...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
76,00:02:04.120,00:02:05.400,"come on, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
77,00:02:05.420,00:02:06.600,"isn't your grandpa, like, a",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
78,00:02:06.620,00:02:07.700,scientist?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
79,00:02:07.719,00:02:08.800,"morty: oh, yeah, but, you",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
80,00:02:08.819,00:02:09.969,"know, he told me that i",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
81,00:02:09.990,00:02:11.469,shouldn't go around spouting off,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
82,00:02:11.490,00:02:12.330,"about, you know, his science and",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
83,00:02:12.349,00:02:13.269,stuff.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
84,00:02:13.289,00:02:14.769,i bet you've seen him make,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
85,00:02:14.789,00:02:16.500,concentrated dark matter a lot.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
86,00:02:16.520,00:02:17.830,"you know, if you tell us, i'll",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
87,00:02:17.849,00:02:19.199,be your girlfriend.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
88,00:02:19.219,00:02:20.330,"morty: uh, y-you will?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
89,00:02:20.349,00:02:21.299,seems like a rare,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
90,00:02:21.319,00:02:22.930,"opportunity, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
91,00:02:22.949,00:02:23.669,[ blam! ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
92,00:02:23.689,00:02:24.800,"rick: morty, u-uh, come on.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
93,00:02:24.819,00:02:25.799,there's a family emergency.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
94,00:02:25.819,00:02:26.969,stop right there!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
95,00:02:26.990,00:02:27.530,"if he leaves, i'm giving him an",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
96,00:02:27.550,00:02:28.430,"""f.""",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
97,00:02:28.449,00:02:29.229,rick: he doesn't care.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
98,00:02:29.250,00:02:29.870,"morty: aw, man!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
99,00:02:29.889,00:02:31.269,"rick, i have to go back!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
100,00:02:31.289,00:02:32.129,i think i was about to get,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
101,00:02:32.150,00:02:32.530,married!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
102,00:02:32.550,00:02:33.469,ugh!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
103,00:02:33.490,00:02:34.070,"rick: take a shower with me,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
104,00:02:34.090,00:02:34.530,morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
105,00:02:34.550,00:02:35.570,morty: what?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
106,00:02:35.590,00:02:36.770,"rick: listen to me, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
107,00:02:36.789,00:02:37.799,get your clothes off and get in,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
108,00:02:37.819,00:02:38.829,the shower right now.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
109,00:02:38.849,00:02:39.569,"y-y-y-you got to trust me,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
110,00:02:39.590,00:02:40.300,morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
111,00:02:40.319,00:02:41.000,morty: ugh!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
112,00:02:41.020,00:02:41.930,"i'm gonna get an ""f"" in class,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
113,00:02:41.949,00:02:42.569,rick.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
114,00:02:42.590,00:02:43.400,"rick: morty, that's not",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
115,00:02:43.419,00:02:44.369,class.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
116,00:02:44.389,00:02:45.569,t-t-t-that wasn't your teacher.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
117,00:02:45.590,00:02:46.599,this isn't your school.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
118,00:02:46.620,00:02:47.270,this entire world is not the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
119,00:02:47.289,00:02:48.000,world.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
120,00:02:48.020,00:02:49.330,we're inside a huge simulation,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
121,00:02:49.349,00:02:50.400,chamber on an alien spaceship.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
122,00:02:50.419,00:02:51.500,morty: wait a minute.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
123,00:02:51.520,00:02:52.630,w-what are you talking about?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
124,00:02:52.650,00:02:53.599,rick: it's all fake [burps],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
125,00:02:53.620,00:02:55.000,morty all of it.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
126,00:02:55.020,00:02:56.900,"nanobotic renderings, a bunch of",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
127,00:02:56.919,00:02:58.669,"crazy fake nonsense, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
128,00:02:58.689,00:02:59.530,i couldn't say so until we got,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
129,00:02:59.550,00:03:00.530,in the shower.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
130,00:03:00.550,00:03:01.670,they won't monitor us in here.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
131,00:03:01.689,00:03:03.300,morty: monitor us?! w-who?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
132,00:03:03.319,00:03:04.629,"rick: zigerion scammers,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
133,00:03:04.650,00:03:06.069,morty the galaxy's most,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
134,00:03:06.090,00:03:07.370,"ambitious, least successful con",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
135,00:03:07.389,00:03:08.369,artists.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
136,00:03:08.389,00:03:09.329,"you know, it's lucky for us",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
137,00:03:09.349,00:03:10.329,they're also really,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
138,00:03:10.349,00:03:11.469,uncomfortable with nudity.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
139,00:03:11.490,00:03:12.600,"morty: aw, come on, rick.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
140,00:03:12.620,00:03:13.700,if everyone's just gonna be,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
141,00:03:13.719,00:03:14.669,"insane today, at least let me be",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
142,00:03:14.689,00:03:15.699,insane with jessica.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
143,00:03:15.719,00:03:16.599,rick: i can't [burps] let you,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
144,00:03:16.620,00:03:17.469,"do that, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
145,00:03:17.490,00:03:18.400,morty: give it to me!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
146,00:03:18.419,00:03:19.169,rick: no! [ burps ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
147,00:03:19.189,00:03:20.000,you give it to me!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
148,00:03:20.020,00:03:22.000,"morty: g-g-give it! no, rick!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
149,00:03:28.750,00:03:30.229,[ aliens groaning ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
150,00:03:30.250,00:03:31.229,"oh, god, sir!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
151,00:03:31.250,00:03:32.129,they're still naked!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
152,00:03:32.150,00:03:32.930,ugh.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
153,00:03:32.949,00:03:34.569,"well, check every five quintons",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
154,00:03:34.590,00:03:36.030,and tell me when they're not.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
155,00:03:36.050,00:03:37.300,i think we should make kevin,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
156,00:03:37.319,00:03:38.099,"look, sir.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
157,00:03:38.120,00:03:39.030,what?! no!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
158,00:03:39.050,00:03:40.730,w-w-why would you even say that?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
159,00:03:40.750,00:03:42.030,"uh, sir, we have a situation",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
160,00:03:42.050,00:03:42.900,over here.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
161,00:03:42.919,00:03:44.569,if there's a wiener on that,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
162,00:03:44.590,00:03:46.030,"monitor, i swear to god, stu...",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
163,00:03:46.050,00:03:47.500,something is drawing a lot of,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
164,00:03:47.520,00:03:48.530,processing power.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
165,00:03:48.550,00:03:49.730,"oh, wait. no wonder.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
166,00:03:49.750,00:03:51.099,there's another real human in,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
167,00:03:51.120,00:03:52.400,the simulator.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
168,00:03:52.419,00:03:53.629,"jerry: okay, jerry big",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
169,00:03:53.650,00:03:54.629,pitch meeting.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
170,00:03:54.650,00:03:55.670,make-or-break time.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
171,00:03:55.689,00:03:56.500,[ whirrin],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
172,00:03:56.520,00:03:57.700,you can do this.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
173,00:03:57.719,00:03:58.599,how did this happen?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
174,00:03:58.620,00:03:59.330,where's the abductions,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
175,00:03:59.349,00:04:00.000,department?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
176,00:04:00.020,00:04:01.570,"hey, man, abductions just",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
177,00:04:01.590,00:04:02.729,follows the acquisition order.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
178,00:04:02.750,00:04:03.629,don't put this on,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
179,00:04:03.650,00:04:04.599,acquisitions!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
180,00:04:04.620,00:04:05.900,we only acquire humans that,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
181,00:04:05.919,00:04:07.000,haven'tbeen simulated!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
182,00:04:07.020,00:04:08.430,"well, simulations doesn't",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
183,00:04:08.449,00:04:10.000,simulate anybody that's been,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
184,00:04:10.020,00:04:11.330,"abducted, so [chuckles]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
185,00:04:11.349,00:04:12.329,"oh, i see! oh, oh!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
186,00:04:12.349,00:04:13.469,it was no one's fault.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
187,00:04:13.490,00:04:14.300,"oh, okay. [ chuckles ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
188,00:04:14.319,00:04:15.099,i'm sorry.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
189,00:04:15.120,00:04:16.300,"well, then, problem solved.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
190,00:04:16.319,00:04:17.129,"oh, wait no.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
191,00:04:17.149,00:04:18.469,there's still another human in,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
192,00:04:18.490,00:04:19.100,here!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
193,00:04:19.120,00:04:20.329,who is he?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
194,00:04:20.350,00:04:21.330,"rick's son-in-law,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
195,00:04:21.350,00:04:22.470,jerry smith.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
196,00:04:22.490,00:04:23.730,"so far, he hasn't noticed he's",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
197,00:04:23.750,00:04:24.670,in a simulation.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
198,00:04:24.689,00:04:25.569,[ sighs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
199,00:04:25.589,00:04:26.829,"well, cap his sector at 5%",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
200,00:04:26.850,00:04:28.100,"processing, keep his settings on",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
201,00:04:28.120,00:04:29.069,"auto, and we'll deal with him",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
202,00:04:29.089,00:04:29.769,later.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
203,00:04:29.790,00:04:31.500,rick sanchez is the target.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
204,00:04:33.949,00:04:34.800,jerry: [ inhales deeply ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
205,00:04:34.819,00:04:35.769,got to relax.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
206,00:04:35.790,00:04:37.170,it's just a pitch.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
207,00:04:37.189,00:04:37.699,got to relax.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
208,00:04:37.720,00:04:38.600,[ click ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
209,00:04:38.620,00:04:39.699,[ static ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
210,00:04:39.720,00:04:42.030,this is earth radio.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
211,00:04:42.050,00:04:44.530,"and now, here's...human music.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
212,00:04:44.550,00:04:47.370,[ repetitive rhythmic beepin],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
213,00:04:47.389,00:04:49.300,jerry: hmm. human music.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
214,00:04:49.319,00:04:51.069,i like it.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
215,00:04:51.089,00:04:52.599,[ beeping continue],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
216,00:05:01.819,00:05:04.899,[ rick and morty panting ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
217,00:05:04.920,00:05:05.770,morty: rick!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
218,00:05:05.790,00:05:06.870,"rick: uhp, uhp, uhp!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
219,00:05:06.889,00:05:07.699,"morty, keep your hands off your",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
220,00:05:07.720,00:05:08.630,ding-dong!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
221,00:05:08.649,00:05:09.500,it's the only way we can speak,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
222,00:05:09.519,00:05:10.099,freely.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
223,00:05:10.120,00:05:11.230,"look around you, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
224,00:05:11.250,00:05:12.430,do you really think this [burps],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
225,00:05:12.449,00:05:13.500,world is real?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
226,00:05:13.519,00:05:14.769,you'd have to be an idiot not to,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
227,00:05:14.790,00:05:16.000,notice all the sloppy details.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
228,00:05:16.019,00:05:17.069,look that guy's putting a bun,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
229,00:05:17.089,00:05:18.169,between two hot dogs.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
230,00:05:18.189,00:05:19.569,"morty: i don't know, rick.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
231,00:05:19.589,00:05:20.329,"i mean, i've seen people do that",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
232,00:05:20.350,00:05:21.070,before.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
233,00:05:21.089,00:05:21.699,"rick: well, look at that old",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
234,00:05:21.720,00:05:22.630,lady.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
235,00:05:22.649,00:05:23.329,she's she's walking a cat on,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
236,00:05:23.350,00:05:24.070,a leash.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
237,00:05:24.089,00:05:25.099,"morty: uh, mrs. spencer does",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
238,00:05:25.120,00:05:26.170,"that all the time, rick.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
239,00:05:26.189,00:05:27.430,"rick: look, i-i-i don't want",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
240,00:05:27.449,00:05:28.069,"to hear about mrs. spencer,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
241,00:05:28.089,00:05:28.529,morty!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
242,00:05:28.550,00:05:29.500,she's an idiot!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
243,00:05:29.519,00:05:30.729,"all right, all right, there.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
244,00:05:30.750,00:05:31.899,"w-what about that, morty?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
245,00:05:31.920,00:05:32.900,"morty: okay, okay, you got me",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
246,00:05:32.920,00:05:33.870,on that one.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
247,00:05:33.889,00:05:34.870,"rick: oh, really,morty?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
248,00:05:34.889,00:05:35.829,are you sure you haven't seen,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
249,00:05:35.850,00:05:36.500,that somewhere in real life,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
250,00:05:36.519,00:05:37.000,before?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
251,00:05:37.019,00:05:37.769,"morty: no, no.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
252,00:05:37.790,00:05:38.830,i haven't seen that.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
253,00:05:38.850,00:05:40.129,"i mean, why would a pop tart",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
254,00:05:40.149,00:05:41.229,"want to live inside a toaster,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
255,00:05:41.250,00:05:42.000,rick?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
256,00:05:42.019,00:05:43.229,"i mean, that would be, like, the",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
257,00:05:43.250,00:05:44.670,scariest place for them to live.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
258,00:05:44.689,00:05:45.600,you know what i mean?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
259,00:05:45.620,00:05:46.329,rick: you're missing the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
260,00:05:46.350,00:05:47.000,"point, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
261,00:05:47.019,00:05:47.870,why would he drive a smaller,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
262,00:05:47.889,00:05:48.899,toaster with wheels?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
263,00:05:48.920,00:05:50.500,"i mean, does your car look like",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
264,00:05:50.519,00:05:51.430,a smaller version of your house?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
265,00:05:51.449,00:05:52.199,no.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
266,00:05:52.220,00:05:52.770,"morty: so, why are they doing",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
267,00:05:52.790,00:05:53.530,this?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
268,00:05:53.550,00:05:54.500,w-what do they want?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
269,00:05:54.519,00:05:55.669,"rick: well, that would be",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
270,00:05:55.689,00:05:56.670,"obvious to you, morty, if you'd",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
271,00:05:56.689,00:05:57.469,been paying attention.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
272,00:05:57.490,00:05:58.829,[ siren wails ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
273,00:05:58.850,00:05:59.870,[ tires screech ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
274,00:05:59.889,00:06:01.129,we got the president of the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
275,00:06:01.149,00:06:02.500,united states in here!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
276,00:06:02.519,00:06:03.799,we need 10cc of concentrated,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
277,00:06:03.819,00:06:05.529,"dark matter, stat, or he'll die!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
278,00:06:05.550,00:06:06.230,morty: concentrated dark,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
279,00:06:06.250,00:06:06.930,matter?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
280,00:06:06.949,00:06:07.699,they were asking about that in,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
281,00:06:07.720,00:06:08.600,class.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
282,00:06:08.620,00:06:09.629,"rick: yeah, it's a special",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
283,00:06:09.649,00:06:10.669,fuel i invented to travel,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
284,00:06:10.689,00:06:11.469,through space faster than,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
285,00:06:11.490,00:06:12.170,anybody else.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
286,00:06:12.189,00:06:13.500,these zigerions are always,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
287,00:06:13.519,00:06:14.669,trying to scam me out of my,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
288,00:06:14.689,00:06:15.800,"secrets, but they made a big",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
289,00:06:15.819,00:06:17.000,"mistake this time, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
290,00:06:17.019,00:06:18.099,they dragged youinto this.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
291,00:06:18.120,00:06:19.170,now they're gonna pay!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
292,00:06:19.189,00:06:20.529,morty: what do you,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
293,00:06:20.550,00:06:21.829,w-w-what are we gonna do?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
294,00:06:21.850,00:06:22.700,rick: we'll scam the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
295,00:06:22.720,00:06:23.730,"scammers, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
296,00:06:23.750,00:06:24.800,and we're gonna take them for,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
297,00:06:24.819,00:06:26.269,everything they've got.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
298,00:06:26.290,00:06:28.170,jerry: national apple farmers,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
299,00:06:28.189,00:06:30.399,"of america, welcome to our ad",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
300,00:06:30.420,00:06:30.970,agency.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
301,00:06:30.990,00:06:32.329,i'm jerry smith.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
302,00:06:33.790,00:06:35.200,all right.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
303,00:06:35.220,00:06:37.030,i'll just...get to the pitch.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
304,00:06:37.050,00:06:39.270,"um, simple question, gentlemen,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
305,00:06:39.290,00:06:40.830,[ hoarsely ] what are apples?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
306,00:06:40.850,00:06:42.629,[ clears throat ] excuse me.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
307,00:06:42.649,00:06:44.029,ahh.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
308,00:06:44.050,00:06:45.930,"[ coughs, clears throat ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
309,00:06:45.949,00:06:48.699,what are apples?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
310,00:06:48.720,00:06:51.000,apples are food.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
311,00:06:51.019,00:06:53.029,and...when do we need food?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
312,00:06:53.050,00:06:54.370,when we're hungry.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
313,00:06:56.189,00:06:58.230,"with that, i give you your new",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
314,00:06:58.250,00:06:59.899,slogan!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
315,00:06:59.920,00:07:01.430,[ sighs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
316,00:07:01.449,00:07:02.729,"well, say something!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
317,00:07:02.750,00:07:03.699,do you like it?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
318,00:07:03.720,00:07:04.630,yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
319,00:07:04.649,00:07:05.699,jerry: you do?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
320,00:07:05.720,00:07:06.930,all: yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
321,00:07:06.949,00:07:09.099,jerry: so...i sold it?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
322,00:07:09.120,00:07:10.829,[ laughs ] i sold the idea?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
323,00:07:10.850,00:07:12.000,all: yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
324,00:07:12.019,00:07:13.729,"jerry: oh, my god! thank you!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
325,00:07:13.750,00:07:15.370,together: thank you.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
326,00:07:15.389,00:07:17.569,you're welcome.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
327,00:07:17.589,00:07:20.829,"[ ""baker street"" plays ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
328,00:07:20.850,00:07:22.200,jerry: hey!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
329,00:07:22.220,00:07:23.870,i just sold my first pitch!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
330,00:07:23.889,00:07:24.569,[ dialing ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
331,00:07:24.589,00:07:25.399,slow down!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
332,00:07:25.420,00:07:25.930,lookin' good.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
333,00:07:25.949,00:07:27.329,my man!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
334,00:07:27.350,00:07:30.000,"[ beeping, telephone ringing ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
335,00:07:30.019,00:07:31.169,robot beth: hello.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
336,00:07:31.189,00:07:32.500,jerry: guess who just sold,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
337,00:07:32.519,00:07:33.699,the apples campaign.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
338,00:07:33.720,00:07:34.830,robot beth: who just sold the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
339,00:07:34.850,00:07:35.700,apples campaign?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
340,00:07:35.720,00:07:36.730,jerry: me!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
341,00:07:36.750,00:07:38.529,i guess it wasn't a rip-off of,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
342,00:07:38.550,00:07:39.970,"""got milk?"" after all.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
343,00:07:39.990,00:07:40.930,guess someonewas wrong.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
344,00:07:40.949,00:07:42.029,robot beth: yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
345,00:07:42.050,00:07:43.300,"jerry: well, all is forgiven,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
346,00:07:43.319,00:07:44.569,"because right now, i've got an",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
347,00:07:44.589,00:07:45.729,erection the size of an,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
348,00:07:45.750,00:07:47.029,"east coast lighthouse, and i'm",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
349,00:07:47.050,00:07:48.030,coming home to share it with my,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
350,00:07:48.050,00:07:48.829,beautiful wife.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
351,00:07:48.850,00:07:49.770,robot beth: okay.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
352,00:07:49.790,00:07:50.600,jerry: wait really?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
353,00:07:50.620,00:07:51.329,robot beth: yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
354,00:07:51.350,00:07:51.930,jerry: yes!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
355,00:07:51.949,00:07:52.800,see you in 10 minutes!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
356,00:07:52.819,00:07:53.370,[ cellphone beeps ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
357,00:07:53.389,00:07:54.229,hey!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
358,00:07:54.250,00:07:55.569,i'm going to make love to my,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
359,00:07:55.589,00:07:56.099,wife!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
360,00:07:56.120,00:07:57.030,lookin' good.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
361,00:07:57.050,00:07:57.770,slow down!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
362,00:07:57.790,00:07:58.530,my man!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
363,00:07:58.550,00:08:00.770,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
364,00:08:00.790,00:08:01.970,"morty: aw, geez, rick.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
365,00:08:01.990,00:08:03.000,i-i don't know if i like this,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
366,00:08:03.019,00:08:04.099,"plan, you know?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
367,00:08:04.120,00:08:06.670,"i mean, crowds, t-t-t-they have",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
368,00:08:06.689,00:08:07.329,a tendency to make me really,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
369,00:08:07.350,00:08:07.900,nervous.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
370,00:08:07.920,00:08:08.900,"rick: morty, relax.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
371,00:08:08.920,00:08:09.900,it's just a bunch of 1s and 0s,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
372,00:08:09.920,00:08:10.770,out there.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
373,00:08:10.790,00:08:11.830,you're gonna be fine.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
374,00:08:11.850,00:08:13.200,just follow my lead.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
375,00:08:13.220,00:08:14.770,"yo, deejay, drop that beat.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
376,00:08:14.790,00:08:16.770,[ hip-hop beat plays ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
377,00:08:16.790,00:08:17.530,[ cheers and applause ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
378,00:08:17.550,00:08:18.730,"uh-oh, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
379,00:08:18.750,00:08:20.730,this crowd looks too small for,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
380,00:08:20.750,00:08:22.430,one of ourfamous rap concerts.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
381,00:08:22.449,00:08:23.969,i don't think we can perform our,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
382,00:08:23.990,00:08:25.230,"new song, ""the recipe for",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
383,00:08:25.250,00:08:26.500,"concentrated dark matter,"" for a",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
384,00:08:26.519,00:08:27.669,crowd this tiny.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
385,00:08:27.689,00:08:28.500,"morty: you got that right,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
386,00:08:28.519,00:08:29.129,rick.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
387,00:08:29.149,00:08:32.199,[ cheers and applause ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
388,00:08:32.220,00:08:33.529,rick: now that's [burps],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
389,00:08:33.549,00:08:34.199,more like it!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
390,00:08:34.220,00:08:35.769,"morty, here we go.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
391,00:08:35.789,00:08:37.169,let me hear everybody say,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
392,00:08:37.190,00:08:38.830,"""hey-oh!"" yeah!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
393,00:08:38.850,00:08:40.200,[ crowd cheering ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
394,00:08:40.220,00:08:41.899,"all the ladies say, ""yeah!""",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
395,00:08:41.919,00:08:43.029,[ ladies cheering ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
396,00:08:43.049,00:08:44.429,"everybody over 30, do this with",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
397,00:08:44.450,00:08:45.400,your hands!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
398,00:08:45.419,00:08:46.870,"everybody with a red shirt, jump",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
399,00:08:46.889,00:08:48.669,up and down!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
400,00:08:48.690,00:08:50.530,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
401,00:08:55.519,00:08:57.129,[ tires screech ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
402,00:08:59.720,00:09:01.100,jerry: mm. mm. mm.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
403,00:09:01.120,00:09:02.570,"yeah, don't move.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
404,00:09:02.590,00:09:04.670,"mm, mm, mm, mm!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
405,00:09:04.690,00:09:06.030,mm!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
406,00:09:06.049,00:09:06.929,[ cheers and applause ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
407,00:09:06.950,00:09:07.930,"rick: yo, everyone whose",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
408,00:09:07.950,00:09:09.200,"first name begins with an ""l""",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
409,00:09:09.220,00:09:10.500,"who isn't hispanic, walk in a",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
410,00:09:10.519,00:09:11.970,circle the same number of times,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
411,00:09:11.990,00:09:12.930,as the square root of your age,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
412,00:09:12.950,00:09:14.470,times 10!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
413,00:09:14.490,00:09:17.000,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
414,00:09:17.019,00:09:18.230,"run, morty!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
415,00:09:18.250,00:09:20.169,before the system reboots!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
416,00:09:20.190,00:09:21.300,[ squeaking ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
417,00:09:21.320,00:09:22.930,jerry: yeah! you like that?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
418,00:09:22.950,00:09:24.129,now who's unremarkable?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
419,00:09:24.149,00:09:25.399,you hungry for apples?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
420,00:09:25.419,00:09:26.969,[ squeaking intensifies ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
421,00:09:26.990,00:09:30.299,are you hungry...for...apples?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
422,00:09:30.320,00:09:31.700,[ squeaking stops ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
423,00:09:31.720,00:09:33.000,[ sighs deeply ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
424,00:09:33.019,00:09:34.169,[ chuckles ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
425,00:09:34.190,00:09:36.130,"oh, my god.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
426,00:09:36.149,00:09:38.000,that's the best sex i've ever,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
427,00:09:38.019,00:09:40.029,had in my life.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
428,00:09:40.049,00:09:43.729,it's...it's...too good.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
429,00:09:43.750,00:09:46.070,"i don't deserve this, beth.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
430,00:09:46.090,00:09:47.700,i'm a fraud.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
431,00:09:47.720,00:09:48.800,"morty: oh, man, rick!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
432,00:09:48.820,00:09:49.970,w-w-w-where we running to?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
433,00:09:49.990,00:09:50.730,"rick: out of the simulation,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
434,00:09:50.750,00:09:51.470,morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
435,00:09:51.490,00:09:52.730,"normally, the chamber operates",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
436,00:09:52.750,00:09:53.830,"like a treadmill, with the",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
437,00:09:53.850,00:09:55.000,virtual world disappearing,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
438,00:09:55.019,00:09:56.129,behind us and being rendered in,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
439,00:09:56.149,00:09:57.299,front of us as we move through,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
440,00:09:57.320,00:09:58.670,"it, but while it's frozen,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
441,00:09:58.690,00:10:00.630,"morty, we can get to...",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
442,00:10:00.649,00:10:01.899,the edge.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
443,00:10:01.919,00:10:02.870,here we go.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
444,00:10:02.889,00:10:04.100,morty: holy crap!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
445,00:10:04.120,00:10:05.129,"rick: come on, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
446,00:10:05.149,00:10:06.730,morty: [ grunts ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
447,00:10:06.750,00:10:08.870,"sir, they're over the edge.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
448,00:10:08.889,00:10:10.199,"yes, they are.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
449,00:10:10.220,00:10:13.070,just...as...planned.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
450,00:10:13.090,00:10:16.769,[ evil laughter ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
451,00:10:16.789,00:10:17.769,"oh, this is going to be such a",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
452,00:10:17.789,00:10:18.429,mind [bleep],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
453,00:10:20.889,00:10:22.299,rick: keep your eyes peeled,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
454,00:10:22.320,00:10:23.070,"for the central processing room,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
455,00:10:23.090,00:10:23.769,morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
456,00:10:23.789,00:10:24.669,that's how we're gonna scam,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
457,00:10:24.690,00:10:25.600,these idiots.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
458,00:10:25.620,00:10:26.629,"morty: so, hey, why do these",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
459,00:10:26.649,00:10:27.730,"aliens keep coming after you,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
460,00:10:27.750,00:10:28.429,"rick, if you're so much smarter",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
461,00:10:28.450,00:10:29.300,than them?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
462,00:10:29.320,00:10:30.230,rick: it's an obsession for,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
463,00:10:30.250,00:10:31.200,them at this point.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
464,00:10:31.220,00:10:32.570,the zi[burps]gerions have been,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
465,00:10:32.590,00:10:33.530,"trying to outsmart me for years,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
466,00:10:33.549,00:10:34.500,morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
467,00:10:34.519,00:10:35.629,"every time they do, i'm one step",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
468,00:10:35.649,00:10:36.269,ahead of them.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
469,00:10:36.289,00:10:37.230,aha!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
470,00:10:37.250,00:10:39.769,here we go.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
471,00:10:39.789,00:10:40.730,grab as many processors as you,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
472,00:10:40.750,00:10:41.799,"can carry, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
473,00:10:41.820,00:10:43.200,"these guys aren't good at much,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
474,00:10:43.220,00:10:44.100,but they're reallygood at,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
475,00:10:44.120,00:10:46.570,making these chips.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
476,00:10:46.590,00:10:47.670,"morty: i've got so many, i",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
477,00:10:47.690,00:10:48.470,can barely hold them all.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
478,00:10:48.490,00:10:49.430,[ chuckles ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
479,00:10:49.450,00:10:50.470,look at look at this.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
480,00:10:50.490,00:10:51.629,oops. i dropped one.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
481,00:10:51.649,00:10:52.299,"rick: don't worry about it,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
482,00:10:52.320,00:10:53.170,morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
483,00:10:53.190,00:10:53.970,"there's plenty of them, you",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
484,00:10:53.990,00:10:54.470,little goofball.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
485,00:10:54.490,00:10:56.600,[ both laugh ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
486,00:10:56.620,00:10:57.570,"come here, morty! oh, i gotcha!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
487,00:10:57.590,00:10:58.129,"morty: come on, quit it,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
488,00:10:58.149,00:10:58.629,rick!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
489,00:10:58.649,00:10:59.600,quit it! [ laughs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
490,00:10:59.620,00:11:00.730,rick: nothing wrong with just,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
491,00:11:00.750,00:11:01.769,a little bit of horseplay every,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
492,00:11:01.789,00:11:02.929,"now and then, little fella.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
493,00:11:07.750,00:11:09.100,[ glass shatters ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
494,00:11:14.889,00:11:16.370,morty: wow. what do you know?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
495,00:11:16.389,00:11:17.629,huh. that was easy.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
496,00:11:17.649,00:11:20.299,"rick: totes malotes, dawg.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
497,00:11:20.320,00:11:21.100,morty: just kind of hard to,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
498,00:11:21.120,00:11:21.799,"believe, you know?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
499,00:11:21.820,00:11:22.830,"rick: believe it, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
500,00:11:22.850,00:11:24.399,"and once again, i'm flying away",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
501,00:11:24.419,00:11:25.799,"with everything i can carry, and",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
502,00:11:25.820,00:11:26.930,the zigerions got nothing of,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
503,00:11:26.950,00:11:28.300,mine.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
504,00:11:32.389,00:11:33.699,jerry: [ sighs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
505,00:11:33.720,00:11:35.269,"mr. marklevitz, do you have a...",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
506,00:11:35.289,00:11:36.599,minute to talk?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
507,00:11:36.620,00:11:37.769,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
508,00:11:37.789,00:11:39.569,"jerry: look, i'm a fraud.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
509,00:11:39.590,00:11:40.870,"i mean, let's face it",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
510,00:11:40.889,00:11:42.370,"""hungry for apples"" is just a",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
511,00:11:42.389,00:11:43.529,"rip-off of ""got milk?""",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
512,00:11:43.549,00:11:44.729,it's almost identical.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
513,00:11:44.750,00:11:46.200,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
514,00:11:46.220,00:11:47.269,jerry: [ sighs ] okay.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
515,00:11:47.289,00:11:48.969,i deserve that.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
516,00:11:48.990,00:11:51.370,umm...i guess...i'll just pack,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
517,00:11:51.389,00:11:52.299,up my desk.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
518,00:11:52.320,00:11:53.370,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
519,00:11:53.389,00:11:56.330,jerry: [ crying ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
520,00:11:56.350,00:11:59.269,"[ sobbing ] oh, my god.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
521,00:11:59.289,00:12:01.730,wait. you know what?! no!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
522,00:12:01.750,00:12:03.370,the milk people don't have a,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
523,00:12:03.389,00:12:04.399,patent on simple rhetorical,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
524,00:12:04.419,00:12:05.500,questions!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
525,00:12:05.519,00:12:07.000,there's not even a single word,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
526,00:12:07.019,00:12:08.470,"in ""hungry for apples"" that's",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
527,00:12:08.490,00:12:09.700,"shared by ""got milk?""",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
528,00:12:09.720,00:12:11.129,it's a completely different,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
529,00:12:11.149,00:12:11.769,slogan.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
530,00:12:11.789,00:12:13.529,it's different!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
531,00:12:13.549,00:12:15.299,and i shouldn't be fired.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
532,00:12:15.320,00:12:16.629,i should be promoted!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
533,00:12:16.649,00:12:17.299,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
534,00:12:17.320,00:12:17.730,jerry: yeah!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
535,00:12:17.750,00:12:18.600,wait. really?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
536,00:12:18.620,00:12:19.399,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
537,00:12:19.419,00:12:20.299,jerry: yes!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
538,00:12:20.320,00:12:21.400,"i mean, i'm it may be",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
539,00:12:21.419,00:12:22.569,"derivative, but it's the most",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
540,00:12:22.590,00:12:23.800,successful campaign to come out,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
541,00:12:23.820,00:12:24.830,of thagency in a long time.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
542,00:12:24.850,00:12:25.899,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
543,00:12:25.919,00:12:26.969,jerry: i-i'm not saying it,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
544,00:12:26.990,00:12:28.000,should win an award for,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
545,00:12:28.019,00:12:29.370,"commercials, but it could",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
546,00:12:29.389,00:12:30.399,certainly be nominatedfor an,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
547,00:12:30.419,00:12:31.370,award for commercials,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
548,00:12:31.389,00:12:32.669,"specifically about apples,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
549,00:12:32.690,00:12:33.830,like...an appley or something.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
550,00:12:33.850,00:12:34.700,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
551,00:12:34.720,00:12:35.529,jerry: is there really an,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
552,00:12:35.549,00:12:36.399,award called the appley for,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
553,00:12:36.419,00:12:37.269,apple-related ad campaigns?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
554,00:12:37.289,00:12:38.029,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
555,00:12:38.049,00:12:38.829,jerry: could we nominate me?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
556,00:12:38.850,00:12:39.570,[ snaps fingers ] yes.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
557,00:12:39.590,00:12:41.430,jerry: holy crap!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
558,00:12:41.450,00:12:43.230,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
559,00:12:47.820,00:12:48.970,"rick: get in, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
560,00:12:48.990,00:12:50.500,i'm gonna [burps] be able to use,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
561,00:12:50.519,00:12:51.730,these processors to make some,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
562,00:12:51.750,00:12:54.230,real important science stuff.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
563,00:12:54.250,00:12:56.000,[ keypad beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
564,00:12:56.019,00:12:56.899,huh.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
565,00:12:56.919,00:12:57.969,i thought i entered the code,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
566,00:12:57.990,00:12:58.500,right.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
567,00:12:58.519,00:12:59.929,[ keypad beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
568,00:13:06.620,00:13:08.730,"wha well, what's this?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
569,00:13:08.750,00:13:10.799,w-what could this possibly be?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
570,00:13:10.820,00:13:12.330,because it looks like you're,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
571,00:13:12.350,00:13:13.899,inside a simulation...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
572,00:13:13.919,00:13:16.399,inside a simulation.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
573,00:13:16.419,00:13:18.029,you're still on the ship.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
574,00:13:18.049,00:13:19.529,game-day bucket go boom.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
575,00:13:19.549,00:13:20.829,"sir, the, uh, doctor's",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
576,00:13:20.850,00:13:22.399,appointment to examine the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
577,00:13:22.419,00:13:23.529,discoloration on your butthole,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
578,00:13:23.549,00:13:24.500,flaps was,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
579,00:13:24.519,00:13:25.730,"too loud, cynthia.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
580,00:13:25.750,00:13:26.899,too loud and too specific.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
581,00:13:26.919,00:13:27.829,rick: uhh...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
582,00:13:27.850,00:13:28.870,[ chuckles ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
583,00:13:28.889,00:13:30.129,we've known how to make,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
584,00:13:30.149,00:13:31.470,concentrated dark matter for a,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
585,00:13:31.490,00:13:33.700,long time.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
586,00:13:33.720,00:13:36.870,but now we alsoknow the code to,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
587,00:13:36.889,00:13:38.970,"your fabled safe, rick sanchez!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
588,00:13:38.990,00:13:40.930,all your most valuable secrets,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
589,00:13:40.950,00:13:41.930,will now be ours!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
590,00:13:41.950,00:13:43.070,"rick: uh, yeah, until i get",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
591,00:13:43.090,00:13:44.330,home before you and change the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
592,00:13:44.350,00:13:45.029,"combination, you bunch of",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
593,00:13:45.049,00:13:45.699,idiots!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
594,00:13:45.720,00:13:46.529,that is why you're never,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
595,00:13:46.549,00:13:47.129,getting home.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
596,00:13:47.149,00:13:49.269,get them!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
597,00:13:49.289,00:13:50.469,rick: [ grunts ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
598,00:13:50.490,00:13:51.500,"[ aliens shouting, groaning ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
599,00:13:51.519,00:13:52.730,"run, morty!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
600,00:13:52.750,00:13:54.269,[ both panting ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
601,00:14:01.889,00:14:03.500,"morty: oh, my god!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
602,00:14:07.750,00:14:10.000,"[ beep, click ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
603,00:14:15.950,00:14:17.600,[ mechanical breathing ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
604,00:14:19.750,00:14:21.299,ow!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
605,00:14:24.950,00:14:26.870,"[ click, whoosh ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
606,00:14:26.889,00:14:28.330,[ aliens screaming ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
607,00:14:28.350,00:14:30.170,[ both panting ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
608,00:14:30.190,00:14:31.570,"jerry: i got to tell you,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
609,00:14:31.590,00:14:32.670,"this morning, i didn't even know",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
610,00:14:32.690,00:14:33.600,this award existed.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
611,00:14:33.620,00:14:34.429,now i'm holdingone.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
612,00:14:34.450,00:14:37.000,and...um...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
613,00:14:37.019,00:14:39.000,"look, i want to say that today",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
614,00:14:39.019,00:14:41.529,was the best day of my life...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
615,00:14:41.549,00:14:43.129,"but...the truth is, it's it's",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
616,00:14:43.149,00:14:44.529,more meaningful than that.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
617,00:14:44.549,00:14:45.699,my man!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
618,00:14:45.720,00:14:47.800,"jerry: yes. thank you, sir.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
619,00:14:47.820,00:14:49.129,[ sighs deeply ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
620,00:14:49.149,00:14:52.769,i...am...finally complete!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
621,00:14:52.789,00:14:54.599,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
622,00:14:57.120,00:14:59.129,my my my my man!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
623,00:15:01.320,00:15:02.700,jerry: aah!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
624,00:15:02.720,00:15:04.629,what the hell?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
625,00:15:04.649,00:15:07.329,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
626,00:15:07.350,00:15:07.800,no.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
627,00:15:07.820,00:15:08.530,rick: jerry?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
628,00:15:08.549,00:15:09.529,morty: dad!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
629,00:15:09.549,00:15:10.229,rick: what are you doing,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
630,00:15:10.250,00:15:10.899,here?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
631,00:15:10.919,00:15:11.699,w-why are you dressed like a,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
632,00:15:11.720,00:15:12.600,waiter?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
633,00:15:12.620,00:15:13.399,screw it. we don't have time.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
634,00:15:13.419,00:15:14.069,come on.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
635,00:15:14.090,00:15:16.200,jerry: [ sobbing ] no!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
636,00:15:21.919,00:15:23.399,[ alarm blaring ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
637,00:15:23.419,00:15:24.229,rick: ohhhhh!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
638,00:15:27.320,00:15:27.870,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
639,00:15:27.889,00:15:29.429,jerry: aah!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
640,00:15:48.149,00:15:50.100,all: yes! yes! yes!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
641,00:15:58.620,00:16:01.029,oof!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
642,00:16:01.049,00:16:02.769,"rick: man up, jerry!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
643,00:16:02.789,00:16:03.469,i may need you to work the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
644,00:16:03.490,00:16:03.870,lasers.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
645,00:16:03.889,00:16:05.470,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
646,00:16:07.350,00:16:07.970,[ slurps ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
647,00:16:07.990,00:16:08.830,[ gasps ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
648,00:16:08.850,00:16:10.399,[ alarm blaring ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
649,00:16:16.590,00:16:17.330,"morty: oh, man!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
650,00:16:17.350,00:16:18.700,"they're hot on our tail, rick!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
651,00:16:18.720,00:16:19.800,rick: i guess they really do,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
652,00:16:19.820,00:16:20.730,have concentrated dark matter.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
653,00:16:20.750,00:16:21.600,"morty: well, you know how to",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
654,00:16:21.620,00:16:22.330,"make it, too, right, rick?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
655,00:16:22.350,00:16:23.600,"rick: yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
656,00:16:23.620,00:16:24.769,"uh, check the engine room.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
657,00:16:24.789,00:16:26.099,"we just need cesium, plutonic",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
658,00:16:26.120,00:16:27.470,"quarks, and bottled water.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
659,00:16:29.690,00:16:30.700,"morty: it's all here, rick!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
660,00:16:30.720,00:16:31.529,"rick: wow, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
661,00:16:31.549,00:16:32.129,lucky break.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
662,00:16:32.149,00:16:33.299,grab that bucket.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
663,00:16:33.320,00:16:35.430,"okay, two parts plutonic quarks,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
664,00:16:35.450,00:16:36.570,one part cesium.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
665,00:16:36.590,00:16:38.870,morty: okay. uh-huh.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
666,00:16:38.889,00:16:40.000,[ fizzing ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
667,00:16:40.019,00:16:40.829,all right.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
668,00:16:40.850,00:16:41.899,rick: now empty the water,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
669,00:16:41.919,00:16:43.029,bottle into the bucket and pour,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
670,00:16:43.049,00:16:44.599,it all into the fuel tank so we,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
671,00:16:44.620,00:16:45.899,can get the hell out of here!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
672,00:16:45.919,00:16:46.929,"what are you doing, morty?!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
673,00:16:46.950,00:16:47.730,there's no time!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
674,00:16:47.750,00:16:49.399,[ beeping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
675,00:16:53.850,00:16:54.570,morty: [ stammering ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
676,00:16:54.590,00:16:56.030,"rick: oh, no.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
677,00:16:56.049,00:16:57.029,jerry: what the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
678,00:16:57.049,00:16:57.899,rick: no!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
679,00:16:57.919,00:17:00.129,[ laughter ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
680,00:17:03.789,00:17:05.970,"oh, my god, rick.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
681,00:17:05.990,00:17:08.170,how dumb are you?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
682,00:17:08.190,00:17:10.130,you're inside a simulation...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
683,00:17:10.150,00:17:11.930,of a simulation...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
684,00:17:11.950,00:17:14.370,inside another giant simulation!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
685,00:17:14.390,00:17:15.730,[ laughs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
686,00:17:15.750,00:17:17.269,w-we never had the recipe for,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
687,00:17:17.289,00:17:18.700,concentrated dark matter.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
688,00:17:18.720,00:17:20.200,but we do now!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
689,00:17:20.220,00:17:21.600,"we do now, sucka!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
690,00:17:21.619,00:17:22.929,rick: you simulated my,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
691,00:17:22.950,00:17:24.370,grandson's genitalia?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
692,00:17:24.390,00:17:25.870,y-y-you bunch of diabolical sons,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
693,00:17:25.890,00:17:26.970,of bitches!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
694,00:17:26.990,00:17:27.970,kevin fought real hard to,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
695,00:17:27.990,00:17:29.069,supervise that project.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
696,00:17:29.089,00:17:29.899,you said you weren't gonna,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
697,00:17:29.920,00:17:30.900,tell anyone!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
698,00:17:30.920,00:17:31.529,"i'm never gonna live this down,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
699,00:17:31.549,00:17:32.200,am i?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
700,00:17:32.220,00:17:33.299,rick: all right. okay.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
701,00:17:33.319,00:17:34.369,"all right, great. wonderful.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
702,00:17:34.390,00:17:36.170,you win. can we go home now?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
703,00:17:36.190,00:17:37.600,i don't know. canyou?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
704,00:17:37.619,00:17:39.099,ha! nice.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
705,00:17:39.119,00:17:40.699,"okay, okay.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
706,00:17:40.720,00:17:41.730,show this gullible turd to his,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
707,00:17:41.750,00:17:42.569,shuttle.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
708,00:17:42.589,00:17:43.869,i'm done with him.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
709,00:17:43.890,00:17:44.900,"oh, wait. let me get a picture.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
710,00:17:44.920,00:17:45.930,[ shutter clicks ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
711,00:17:45.950,00:17:47.029,aww. look at his face.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
712,00:17:47.049,00:17:48.200,he's trying to figure out if,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
713,00:17:48.220,00:17:49.130,he's in a simulation still.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
714,00:17:49.150,00:17:50.300,"are you, rick?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
715,00:17:50.319,00:17:51.730,are you?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
716,00:17:51.750,00:17:52.769,[ laughs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
717,00:17:52.789,00:17:54.170,you're not.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
718,00:17:54.190,00:17:55.799,or ayou?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
719,00:17:58.089,00:17:59.730,"oh, a-and, by the way, i don't",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
720,00:17:59.750,00:18:01.269,have discolored butthole flaps.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
721,00:18:01.289,00:18:02.569,that was part of the simulation.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
722,00:18:02.589,00:18:03.299,oh.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
723,00:18:03.319,00:18:04.730,"uh, sir, should i cancel that",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
724,00:18:04.750,00:18:05.930,"appointment, then?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
725,00:18:05.950,00:18:07.000,yeah! of course you should!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
726,00:18:07.019,00:18:07.930,[ chuckles ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
727,00:18:07.950,00:18:08.930,"no, keep it.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
728,00:18:08.950,00:18:09.730,"move it up, actually, if you",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
729,00:18:09.750,00:18:10.599,can.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
730,00:18:15.019,00:18:15.930,"rick: hey, jerry, don't worry",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
731,00:18:15.950,00:18:16.830,about it.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
732,00:18:16.849,00:18:17.969,so what if the most meaningful,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
733,00:18:17.990,00:18:19.130,day of your life was a,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
734,00:18:19.150,00:18:20.070,simulation operating at minimum,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
735,00:18:20.089,00:18:21.129,cap[burps]acity?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
736,00:18:21.150,00:18:22.500,"jerry: you know what, rick?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
737,00:18:22.519,00:18:23.529,"those guys took youfor a ride,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
738,00:18:23.549,00:18:24.299,too.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
739,00:18:24.319,00:18:25.799,you should try having a little,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
740,00:18:25.819,00:18:27.200,respect for the dummies of the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
741,00:18:27.220,00:18:28.370,"universe, now that you're one of",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
742,00:18:28.390,00:18:29.100,us.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
743,00:18:29.119,00:18:29.699,"rick: maybe you're right,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
744,00:18:29.720,00:18:30.799,jerry.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
745,00:18:30.819,00:18:31.769,maybe you're right.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
746,00:18:31.789,00:18:32.700,[ aliens cheering ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
747,00:18:32.720,00:18:34.200,[ dance music plays ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
748,00:18:34.220,00:18:36.230,"all right, everybody.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
749,00:18:36.250,00:18:39.099,two parts plutonic quarks...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
750,00:18:39.119,00:18:41.669,one part cesium...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
751,00:18:41.690,00:18:42.970,[ fizzing ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
752,00:18:42.990,00:18:44.500,"a-and listen, i'm sorry for",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
753,00:18:44.519,00:18:45.769,éling earlier.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
754,00:18:45.789,00:18:46.899,i-i couldn't ask for a better,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
755,00:18:46.920,00:18:48.000,staff.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
756,00:18:48.019,00:18:49.869,"i love you guys, and i love all",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
757,00:18:49.890,00:18:51.270,your families.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
758,00:18:51.289,00:18:53.569,and the final ingredient...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
759,00:18:56.220,00:18:57.230,jerry: whoa!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
760,00:18:57.250,00:18:58.430,what the hell?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
761,00:18:58.450,00:18:59.470,w-what happened back there?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
762,00:18:59.490,00:19:00.829,rick: why don't you ask the,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
763,00:19:00.849,00:19:01.500,"smartest people in the universe,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
764,00:19:01.519,00:19:02.900,jerry?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
765,00:19:02.920,00:19:04.269,"oh, yeah. [ burps ] you can't.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
766,00:19:04.289,00:19:05.970,they blew up.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
767,00:19:05.990,00:19:06.829,[ sighs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
768,00:19:06.849,00:19:07.899,[ beep ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
769,00:19:07.920,00:19:08.930,"[ ""baker street"" play]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
770,00:19:08.950,00:19:10.830,[ vocalizing ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
771,00:19:15.450,00:19:17.930,[ vocalizing out of sync ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
772,00:19:21.849,00:19:23.969,"[ ""baker street"" continues ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
773,00:19:45.990,00:19:47.200,jerry: so...,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
774,00:19:47.220,00:19:48.529,what do you think?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
775,00:19:49.950,00:19:50.900,you're fired.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
776,00:19:50.920,00:19:52.070,jerry: wha,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
777,00:19:52.089,00:19:53.500,but t-this idea was tested in a,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
778,00:19:53.519,00:19:55.200,state-of-the-art simulation.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
779,00:19:55.220,00:19:56.529,"well, then, it was a terrible",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
780,00:19:56.549,00:19:57.000,simulation.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
781,00:19:57.019,00:19:58.369,get out.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
782,00:20:00.890,00:20:02.030,"[ door opens, closes ]",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
783,00:20:02.049,00:20:03.569,"man, how does a guy like that go",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
784,00:20:03.589,00:20:05.629,home and have sex with his wife?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
785,00:20:05.650,00:20:06.930,"rick: hey, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
786,00:20:06.950,00:20:07.870,morty: what?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
787,00:20:07.890,00:20:09.030,"rick: hey, little buddy.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
788,00:20:09.049,00:20:10.399,h-h-how you doing in here right,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
789,00:20:10.420,00:20:11.130,now?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
790,00:20:11.150,00:20:11.970,"morty: aw, geez, rick.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
791,00:20:11.990,00:20:13.029,"what are you doing, man?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
792,00:20:13.049,00:20:13.629,"rick: y-y-you're a good kid,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
793,00:20:13.650,00:20:14.269,morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
794,00:20:14.289,00:20:15.129,y-you're a real l-little,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
795,00:20:15.150,00:20:15.930,"c-character, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
796,00:20:15.950,00:20:16.900,"morty: oh, boy.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
797,00:20:16.920,00:20:17.900,"rick: you know, i had a",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
798,00:20:17.920,00:20:19.670,"really rocky road today,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
799,00:20:19.690,00:20:21.000,m-morty.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
800,00:20:21.019,00:20:21.769,"you're my little friend, aren't",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
801,00:20:21.789,00:20:22.170,you?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
802,00:20:22.190,00:20:23.570,[ sighs ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
803,00:20:23.589,00:20:24.799,"we had some good times together,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
804,00:20:24.819,00:20:25.129,"huh, m-morty?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
805,00:20:25.150,00:20:26.070,we,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
806,00:20:26.089,00:20:27.029,you're a real true hero out in,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
807,00:20:27.049,00:20:27.730,the fld.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
808,00:20:27.750,00:20:28.500,you're a li,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
809,00:20:28.519,00:20:29.569,"you're a real trouper, huh,",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
810,00:20:29.589,00:20:30.230,m-m-morty?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
811,00:20:30.250,00:20:31.130,morty: have you been,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
812,00:20:31.150,00:20:32.130,"drinking, rick?",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
813,00:20:32.150,00:20:33.070,rick: i really appreciate,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
814,00:20:33.089,00:20:33.929,"you, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
815,00:20:33.950,00:20:34.870,"morty: o-okay, cool.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
816,00:20:34.890,00:20:35.770,"a-all right, rick",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
817,00:20:35.789,00:20:36.129,rick: you little son of a,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
818,00:20:36.150,00:20:37.130,bitch!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
819,00:20:37.150,00:20:39.100,y-y are you a simulation?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
820,00:20:39.119,00:20:40.069,huh?! are you a simulation?!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
821,00:20:40.089,00:20:41.129,morty: no! no! no!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
822,00:20:41.150,00:20:41.830,rick: you little son of a,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
823,00:20:41.849,00:20:42.730,bitch!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
824,00:20:42.750,00:20:44.170,morty: [ gasping ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
825,00:20:44.190,00:20:45.269,"rick: i-i-i'm sorry, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
826,00:20:45.289,00:20:46.099,y-you're a good,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
827,00:20:46.119,00:20:46.799,"you're a good kid, morty.",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
828,00:20:46.819,00:20:47.470,morty: geez!,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
829,00:20:47.490,00:20:48.170,rick: y-you're a good,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
830,00:20:48.190,00:20:49.029,you're a good kid.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
831,00:20:49.049,00:20:49.869,"morty: oh, my god!",S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
832,00:20:49.890,00:20:50.830,rick: [ snoring ],S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
833,00:20:50.849,00:20:53.569,morty: w-w-what the hell?,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
834,00:20:53.589,00:20:54.799,what a life.,S01,E04,M Night ShaymAliens
1,00:00:32.650,00:00:35.030, >> rick: [ panting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
2,00:00:35.050,00:00:37.400, run!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
3,00:00:37.420,00:00:39.070, [ gasps ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
4,00:00:39.090,00:00:39.700," morty, do it!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
5,00:00:39.720,00:00:40.730, hit the button now!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
6,00:00:40.750,00:00:41.930," >> morty: i can't do it, rick!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
7,00:00:41.950,00:00:43.300, they're my parents and sister!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
8,00:00:43.320,00:00:44.430," >> rick: morty, i already told",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
9,00:00:44.450,00:00:45.630, you  it's not your family!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
10,00:00:45.650,00:00:46.870, they're clones from an alternate,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
11,00:00:46.890,00:00:48.130," reality, possessed by demonic",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
12,00:00:48.150,00:00:49.100, alien spirits from another,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
13,00:00:49.120,00:00:49.930, dimension's future!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
14,00:00:49.950,00:00:51.030, do you need a mnemonic device,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
15,00:00:51.050,00:00:51.800, or something?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
16,00:00:51.820,00:00:52.700," just hit the button, already!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
17,00:00:52.720,00:00:53.470, >> beth: [ growling ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
18,00:00:53.490,00:00:55.700," morty, please, i love",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
19,00:00:55.720,00:00:57.199," you, sweetheart.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
20,00:00:57.220,00:00:58.269, >> morty: oh!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
21,00:00:58.290,00:01:00.330, [ grunts ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
22,00:01:00.350,00:01:04.400, [ clones scream ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
23,00:01:04.420,00:01:05.500, [ moans ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
24,00:01:05.519,00:01:07.200," >> rick: good work, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
25,00:01:07.220,00:01:08.700," you know, th-th-these demonic",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
26,00:01:08.720,00:01:10.070, alien spirits are really,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
27,00:01:10.090,00:01:10.730, valuable.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
28,00:01:10.750,00:01:11.700," you okay, morty?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
29,00:01:11.720,00:01:12.530, i told you not to trust that,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
30,00:01:12.550,00:01:13.369, tuna.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
31,00:01:13.390,00:01:14.170, >> morty: i just killed my,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
32,00:01:14.190,00:01:14.830, family!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
33,00:01:14.850,00:01:16.200, i don't care what they were.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
34,00:01:16.220,00:01:17.470," >> rick: i don't know, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
35,00:01:17.490,00:01:18.630, some people'd pay top dollar for,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
36,00:01:18.650,00:01:19.800, that kind of breakthrough.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
37,00:01:19.820,00:01:20.870," >> morty: you know what, rick?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
38,00:01:20.890,00:01:21.600, that's it!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
39,00:01:21.620,00:01:22.430, i'm done with these insane,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
40,00:01:22.450,00:01:23.430, adventures!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
41,00:01:23.450,00:01:24.370, that was really traumatizing!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
42,00:01:24.390,00:01:25.330, i quit! i'm out!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
43,00:01:25.350,00:01:26.370," >> rick: whoa, whoa, whoa!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
44,00:01:26.390,00:01:27.430," come on, morty, don't ",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
45,00:01:27.450,00:01:28.500, don't  don't be like that.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
46,00:01:28.520,00:01:29.399," the universe is a crazy,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
47,00:01:29.420,00:01:30.430, chaotic place.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
48,00:01:30.450,00:01:31.400, >> morty: you're the one that's,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
49,00:01:31.420,00:01:32.470, crazy and chaotic!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
50,00:01:32.490,00:01:33.369, adventures are supposed to be,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
51,00:01:33.390,00:01:34.430, simple and fun.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
52,00:01:34.450,00:01:35.570," >> rick: oh, yeah, morty, yeah.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
53,00:01:35.590,00:01:36.670," yeah, that  that  that's",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
54,00:01:36.690,00:01:37.600, real easy to say from the,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
55,00:01:37.620,00:01:38.600, sidekick position.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
56,00:01:38.620,00:01:39.870," but  but, uh, how about next",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
57,00:01:39.890,00:01:41.230," time you be in charge, and then",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
58,00:01:41.250,00:01:42.100, we'll talk about how simple and,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
59,00:01:42.120,00:01:42.800, fun it is?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
60,00:01:42.820,00:01:43.970," >> morty: seriously, rick?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
61,00:01:43.990,00:01:45.070, y-y-you'll  you'll let me call,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
62,00:01:45.090,00:01:45.770, the shots?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
63,00:01:45.790,00:01:46.870," >> rick: okay, yeah, fine.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
64,00:01:46.890,00:01:47.900," but let's make it interesting,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
65,00:01:47.920,00:01:48.600, morty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
66,00:01:48.620,00:01:49.830, i-i-i-if your adventure sucks,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
67,00:01:49.850,00:01:51.170," and we bail halfway through it,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
68,00:01:51.190,00:01:52.300, you lose the right to bitch,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
69,00:01:52.320,00:01:53.500, about all future adventures.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
70,00:01:53.520,00:01:54.429," plus, you have to do my laundry",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
71,00:01:54.450,00:01:55.470, for a month.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
72,00:01:55.490,00:01:56.230," >> morty: okay, all right, tough",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
73,00:01:56.250,00:01:56.930, guy!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
74,00:01:56.950,00:01:58.270," but if my adventure's good, i",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
75,00:01:58.290,00:01:59.230, get to be in charge of every,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
76,00:01:59.250,00:02:00.100, third adventure!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
77,00:02:00.120,00:02:00.900, >> rick: every 10th.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
78,00:02:00.920,00:02:02.200, >> morty: deal. all right.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
79,00:02:02.220,00:02:02.900," w-well, come on, let's get",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
80,00:02:02.920,00:02:03.600, going.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
81,00:02:03.620,00:02:04.630," >> beth: dad, the dishwasher's",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
82,00:02:04.650,00:02:05.600, doing that thing again.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
83,00:02:05.620,00:02:06.600, >> rick: washing dishes?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
84,00:02:06.620,00:02:07.470, >> beth: no. the opposite.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
85,00:02:07.490,00:02:08.470, can you fix it?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
86,00:02:08.490,00:02:09.500," >> summer: grandpa rick, can you",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
87,00:02:09.520,00:02:10.230, help me with my science,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
88,00:02:10.250,00:02:10.970, homework?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
89,00:02:10.990,00:02:11.870, >> rick: yeah  j-just don't,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
90,00:02:11.890,00:02:12.400, do it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
91,00:02:12.420,00:02:13.370, >> summer: grandpa!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
92,00:02:13.390,00:02:14.500," >> jerry: hey, rick, you got",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
93,00:02:14.520,00:02:15.670, some kind of hand-shaped device,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
94,00:02:15.690,00:02:16.300, that can open this mayonnaise,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
95,00:02:16.320,00:02:17.100, jar?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
96,00:02:17.120,00:02:18.200, >> rick: wow. hat trick.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
97,00:02:18.220,00:02:18.900," all right, morty, let's put a",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
98,00:02:18.920,00:02:19.400, pin in this.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
99,00:02:19.420,00:02:20.100, i got to help your,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
100,00:02:20.120,00:02:20.830, pathetic family.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
101,00:02:20.850,00:02:21.870," >> morty: oh, that sounds like",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
102,00:02:21.890,00:02:22.870, something a chicken would say.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
103,00:02:22.890,00:02:23.900," bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
104,00:02:23.920,00:02:24.630, bawk.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
105,00:02:24.650,00:02:25.670," >> rick: oh, morty, you done did",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
106,00:02:25.690,00:02:26.300, it this time.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
107,00:02:26.320,00:02:27.130, it's on.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
108,00:02:27.150,00:02:28.270, i can't wait to watch your,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
109,00:02:28.290,00:02:29.370, adventure lay a huge fart.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
110,00:02:29.390,00:02:31.500, as for you dingdongs...,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
111,00:02:31.520,00:02:32.870, this is a meeseeks box.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
112,00:02:32.890,00:02:34.330, let me show you how it works.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
113,00:02:34.350,00:02:35.299, you press this.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
114,00:02:35.320,00:02:36.299, >> i'm mr. meeseeks!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
115,00:02:36.320,00:02:37.400, look at me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
116,00:02:37.420,00:02:38.800, >> rick: you make a request.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
117,00:02:38.820,00:02:40.299," mr. meeseeks, open jerry's",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
118,00:02:40.320,00:02:41.329, stupid mayonnaise jar.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
119,00:02:41.350,00:02:42.430," >> yes, siree!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
120,00:02:42.450,00:02:43.630, >> rick: the meeseeks fulfills,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
121,00:02:43.650,00:02:44.430, the request.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
122,00:02:44.450,00:02:45.330, >> all done!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
123,00:02:45.350,00:02:46.470, >> jerry: wow!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
124,00:02:46.490,00:02:47.530, >> rick: and then it stops,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
125,00:02:47.550,00:02:48.530, existing.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
126,00:02:48.550,00:02:49.270," >> summer: oh, my god, he",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
127,00:02:49.290,00:02:50.130, exploded!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
128,00:02:50.150,00:02:51.000," >> rick: trust me, they're",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
129,00:02:51.020,00:02:51.700, fine with it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
130,00:02:51.720,00:02:52.800, knock yourselves out  just,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
131,00:02:52.820,00:02:53.500, [burps] keep your requests,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
132,00:02:53.520,00:02:54.330, simple.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
133,00:02:54.350,00:02:55.269, they're not g[burps]ods.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
134,00:02:55.290,00:02:56.200, >> morty: all right!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
135,00:02:56.220,00:02:57.130, g-get out of here now!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
136,00:02:57.150,00:02:58.030, everybody out of here!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
137,00:02:58.050,00:03:00.500, i got a bet to win!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
138,00:03:00.520,00:03:01.700, >> beth: so many possibilities.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
139,00:03:01.720,00:03:02.830, >> summer: my mind is racing.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
140,00:03:02.850,00:03:04.200, >> jerry: if we're gonna use,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
141,00:03:04.220,00:03:05.370," this thing, which i'm not even",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
142,00:03:05.390,00:03:06.270," sure we should, we need to keep",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
143,00:03:06.290,00:03:07.030, it simp,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
144,00:03:07.050,00:03:07.900, >> i'm mr. meeseeks!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
145,00:03:07.920,00:03:09.000, >> summer: i want to be popular,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
146,00:03:09.020,00:03:09.470, at school!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
147,00:03:09.490,00:03:10.430," >> ooh, okay!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
148,00:03:10.450,00:03:11.230," >> jerry: summer, what did i",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
149,00:03:11.250,00:03:11.870, just ,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
150,00:03:11.890,00:03:12.670," >> ooh, i'm mr. meeseeks!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
151,00:03:12.690,00:03:13.630, look at me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
152,00:03:13.650,00:03:14.800, >> beth: i-i-i want  i want to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
153,00:03:14.820,00:03:15.700, be a more complete woman!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
154,00:03:15.720,00:03:16.600, >> jerry: beth!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
155,00:03:16.620,00:03:19.230," >> oh, yeah! yes, ma'am!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
156,00:03:19.250,00:03:20.400, >> jerry: you guys are doing it,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
157,00:03:20.420,00:03:22.000, wrong.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
158,00:03:22.020,00:03:25.300," he said ""simple.""",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
159,00:03:25.320,00:03:26.799," >> hey, there. i'm mr. meeseeks!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
160,00:03:26.820,00:03:28.430, >> jerry: [ clears throat ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
161,00:03:28.450,00:03:29.900," mr. meeseeks, i would like to",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
162,00:03:29.920,00:03:31.200, take two strokes off my golf,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
163,00:03:31.220,00:03:31.830, game.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
164,00:03:31.850,00:03:35.500," >> ooh, yeah! can do!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
165,00:03:35.520,00:03:36.630, >> jerry: nailed it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
166,00:03:36.650,00:03:37.870," >> rick: god, morty, what a",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
167,00:03:37.890,00:03:39.400, boring start to an adventure.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
168,00:03:39.420,00:03:40.570, i don't  w-w-w-why didn't we,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
169,00:03:40.590,00:03:41.670, just go to kentucky?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
170,00:03:41.690,00:03:42.770," >> morty: rick, this is a",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
171,00:03:42.790,00:03:44.130, fantasy-type world with,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
172,00:03:44.150,00:03:45.170, creatures and all sorts of,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
173,00:03:45.190,00:03:46.230, fantasy things.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
174,00:03:46.250,00:03:47.430," w-we're going on a quest, okay?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
175,00:03:47.450,00:03:49.270, >> rick: can't wait.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
176,00:03:49.290,00:03:51.400, >> morty: ahem. excuse me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
177,00:03:51.420,00:03:53.030, we are two humble heroes in,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
178,00:03:53.050,00:03:54.370, search of adventure!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
179,00:03:54.390,00:03:55.570," >> rick: oh, my god, so",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
180,00:03:55.590,00:03:56.700, embarrassing.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
181,00:03:56.720,00:03:58.200, >> at last! two heroes!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
182,00:03:58.220,00:03:59.530, you must help us!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
183,00:03:59.550,00:04:01.300," this village is terribly poor,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
184,00:04:01.320,00:04:02.769, yet the giant that lives in the,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
185,00:04:02.790,00:04:04.000, clouds above has untold,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
186,00:04:04.020,00:04:04.830, treasures!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
187,00:04:04.850,00:04:06.370, >> morty: you know what?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
188,00:04:06.390,00:04:07.800, i-i-i accept your call to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
189,00:04:07.820,00:04:09.299," adventure, good sir, kind sir.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
190,00:04:09.320,00:04:10.470," come on, rick.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
191,00:04:10.490,00:04:11.930, there's a giant in the clouds!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
192,00:04:11.950,00:04:12.900, >> rick: yeah.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
193,00:04:12.920,00:04:15.330, [ burps ] beginner's luck.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
194,00:04:15.350,00:04:17.300," >> in conclusion, a friendship",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
195,00:04:17.320,00:04:18.829, with summer smith is the most,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
196,00:04:18.850,00:04:20.900, valuable and enriching,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
197,00:04:20.920,00:04:22.300, experience of your young lives.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
198,00:04:22.320,00:04:23.270, [ applause ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
199,00:04:23.290,00:04:24.170, i'm mr. meeseeks!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
200,00:04:24.190,00:04:24.969, look at me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
201,00:04:24.990,00:04:25.800, thank you!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
202,00:04:25.820,00:04:27.270," >> uh, mr. meeseeks, was it?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
203,00:04:27.290,00:04:28.570, yeah. gene vagina.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
204,00:04:28.590,00:04:30.170," listen, i'm in a bit of custody",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
205,00:04:30.190,00:04:31.270, thing with my ex and was,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
206,00:04:31.290,00:04:32.430, wondering ,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
207,00:04:32.450,00:04:33.630," no, i'll g i'll get your info",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
208,00:04:33.650,00:04:34.800, from summer.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
209,00:04:34.820,00:04:36.469, >> beth: i got pregnant at 17.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
210,00:04:36.490,00:04:37.800," i mean, i still put myself",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
211,00:04:37.820,00:04:39.500, through veterinary school.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
212,00:04:39.520,00:04:42.669," yes, i'm successful, but what if",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
213,00:04:42.690,00:04:45.230, i hadn't...,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
214,00:04:45.250,00:04:47.670," i'm just saying, somewhere along",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
215,00:04:47.690,00:04:49.530," the way, i lost that wide-eyed",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
216,00:04:49.550,00:04:51.170, girl from muskegon.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
217,00:04:51.190,00:04:52.830," >> she's still there, beth.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
218,00:04:52.850,00:04:54.470," >> beth: well, her waistline",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
219,00:04:54.490,00:04:55.230, isn't.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
220,00:04:55.250,00:04:57.330, [ laughs ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
221,00:04:57.350,00:04:59.170," >> beth, having a family doesn't",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
222,00:04:59.190,00:05:00.370, mean that you stop being an,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
223,00:05:00.390,00:05:01.570, individual.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
224,00:05:01.590,00:05:03.300, you know the best thing you can,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
225,00:05:03.320,00:05:04.430, do for people that depend on,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
226,00:05:04.450,00:05:05.500, you?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
227,00:05:05.520,00:05:07.469," be honest with them, even if it",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
228,00:05:07.490,00:05:09.370, means setting them free.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
229,00:05:09.390,00:05:11.169, >> beth: you're saying i should,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
230,00:05:11.190,00:05:13.400, leave jerry.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
231,00:05:13.420,00:05:15.400, i can't believe i'm finally,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
232,00:05:15.420,00:05:16.770, having  this conversation.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
233,00:05:16.790,00:05:18.200, [ romantic music plays ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
234,00:05:24.950,00:05:25.670, >> more wine?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
235,00:05:25.690,00:05:26.870, >> beth: [ clears throat ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
236,00:05:26.890,00:05:29.400, i think i've had enough.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
237,00:05:29.420,00:05:33.400, >> jerry: [ grunts ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
238,00:05:33.420,00:05:35.130, >> remember to square your,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
239,00:05:35.150,00:05:36.600," shoulders, jerry.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
240,00:05:36.620,00:05:38.300," >> jerry: yeah, yeah. i got it.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
241,00:05:40.650,00:05:41.470, [ grunts ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
242,00:05:41.490,00:05:42.600, >> that's okay.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
243,00:05:42.620,00:05:44.230, i'm mr. meeseeks! look at me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
244,00:05:44.250,00:05:45.270, try again and keep your head,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
245,00:05:45.290,00:05:46.170, down.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
246,00:05:46.190,00:05:47.200," >> jerry: okay, well, which",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
247,00:05:47.220,00:05:48.200, is it?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
248,00:05:48.220,00:05:49.330, square my shoulders or keep my,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
249,00:05:49.350,00:05:50.230, head down?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
250,00:05:50.250,00:05:51.500," >> well, it's both.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
251,00:05:51.520,00:05:52.799," but most importantly, you got to",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
252,00:05:52.820,00:05:53.500, relax.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
253,00:05:53.520,00:05:54.599," >> jerry: you know what,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
254,00:05:54.620,00:05:55.730, mr. meeseeks?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
255,00:05:55.750,00:05:57.070, i don't think this is working.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
256,00:05:57.090,00:05:57.930, i give up.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
257,00:05:57.950,00:05:59.370," >> i'm sorry, jerry, but it",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
258,00:05:59.390,00:06:00.530, doesn't work like that.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
259,00:06:00.550,00:06:01.870, i'm mr. meeseeks.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
260,00:06:01.890,00:06:03.469, i have to fulfill my purpose so,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
261,00:06:03.490,00:06:04.430, i can go away.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
262,00:06:04.450,00:06:05.599, look at me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
263,00:06:05.620,00:06:07.370," >> jerry: well, make yourself",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
264,00:06:07.390,00:06:08.969," comfortable, because i suck.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
265,00:06:08.990,00:06:10.400," >> no, jerry, i'm the one who",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
266,00:06:10.420,00:06:11.330, sucks!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
267,00:06:11.350,00:06:12.570, let me try something.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
268,00:06:12.590,00:06:13.630, >> i'm mr. meeseeks!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
269,00:06:13.650,00:06:14.570, look at me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
270,00:06:14.590,00:06:15.930," >> hi, mr. meeseeks!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
271,00:06:15.950,00:06:17.300, i'm mr. meeseeks! look at me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
272,00:06:17.320,00:06:18.270, >> hi!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
273,00:06:18.290,00:06:19.700, >> can you help me get two,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
274,00:06:19.720,00:06:21.030, strokes off of jerry's golf,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
275,00:06:21.050,00:06:21.530, swing?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
276,00:06:21.550,00:06:22.400, >> can do!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
277,00:06:22.420,00:06:23.700, i'm mr. meeseeks!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
278,00:06:23.720,00:06:25.030, is he keeping his shoulders,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
279,00:06:25.050,00:06:25.700, squared?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
280,00:06:25.720,00:06:27.670," >> ooh, he's trying!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
281,00:06:27.690,00:06:32.270, [ medieval music playing ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
282,00:06:32.290,00:06:33.270, [ both grunt ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
283,00:06:33.290,00:06:34.500," >> rick: all right, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
284,00:06:34.520,00:06:35.430, w-w-we're in your stupid giant's,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
285,00:06:35.450,00:06:36.200, castle.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
286,00:06:36.220,00:06:37.370, w-what do we do next?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
287,00:06:37.390,00:06:38.270," >> morty: would you just relax,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
288,00:06:38.290,00:06:38.930, rick?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
289,00:06:38.950,00:06:40.170, all we got to do is find the,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
290,00:06:40.190,00:06:41.200," treasure room, okay?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
291,00:06:41.220,00:06:42.230, it's nice and simple.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
292,00:06:42.250,00:06:43.400," you know, i-i-i'm sorry",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
293,00:06:43.420,00:06:44.500, everything's going so smoothly,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
294,00:06:44.520,00:06:45.469, and adventurously.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
295,00:06:45.490,00:06:46.530, [ footsteps booming ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
296,00:06:46.550,00:06:47.770," >> rick: uh-oh, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
297,00:06:47.790,00:06:49.330, startin' to get a little hairy.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
298,00:06:49.350,00:06:50.630," what do you want to do, boss?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
299,00:06:50.650,00:06:51.770," >> morty: come on, hurry.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
300,00:06:51.790,00:06:53.030, behind this cookie jar.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
301,00:06:53.050,00:06:56.730, >> fee! fi! fo! fum!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
302,00:06:56.750,00:06:58.170," >> rick: just give up, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
303,00:06:58.190,00:06:59.430, j-j-j this is game over.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
304,00:06:59.450,00:07:00.599, i'll take us home right now.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
305,00:07:00.620,00:07:01.700, you just say the word.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
306,00:07:01.720,00:07:02.800," >> morty: no way, rick.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
307,00:07:02.820,00:07:04.130, this is all part of it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
308,00:07:04.150,00:07:05.100, adventures have conflict.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
309,00:07:05.120,00:07:05.900, deal with it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
310,00:07:05.920,00:07:06.970, >> i smell the blood of ,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
311,00:07:06.990,00:07:07.400, whoop!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
312,00:07:07.420,00:07:08.030, [ crunch ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
313,00:07:08.050,00:07:08.700, [ groaning ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
314,00:07:08.720,00:07:09.630, >> morty: holy crap.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
315,00:07:09.650,00:07:10.730," >> rick: oh, boy.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
316,00:07:10.750,00:07:11.570," he looks pretty bad down there,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
317,00:07:11.590,00:07:12.470, morty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
318,00:07:12.490,00:07:14.300, looks like he's bleeding out.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
319,00:07:14.320,00:07:16.800," >> oh, jesus! dale!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
320,00:07:16.820,00:07:17.700, you sons of bitches!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
321,00:07:17.720,00:07:18.600," >> morty: oh, man.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
322,00:07:18.620,00:07:19.400, >> rick: uh-oh.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
323,00:07:19.420,00:07:20.200, [ speed-dialing ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
324,00:07:20.220,00:07:21.330," >> hello, 911?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
325,00:07:21.350,00:07:22.300, my husband has been attacked by,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
326,00:07:22.320,00:07:23.000, tiny people!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
327,00:07:23.020,00:07:23.729, he's dying!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
328,00:07:23.750,00:07:25.870, [ camera shutter clicking ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
329,00:07:25.890,00:07:26.969," >> hey, look, we get it.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
330,00:07:26.990,00:07:28.370," you're little, you're down on",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
331,00:07:28.390,00:07:29.200," your luck, you think, ""hey, he's",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
332,00:07:29.220,00:07:29.870, a giant.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
333,00:07:29.890,00:07:31.229, why don't we break into his,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
334,00:07:31.250,00:07:32.470," home, rob him, and murder him?""",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
335,00:07:32.490,00:07:33.430, >> morty: th-th but that's not,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
336,00:07:33.450,00:07:34.430, how it went down!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
337,00:07:34.450,00:07:35.270," >> oh, well, it's going down",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
338,00:07:35.290,00:07:36.330, like that.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
339,00:07:36.350,00:07:36.870, you're  both going down like,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
340,00:07:36.890,00:07:37.630, that.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
341,00:07:37.650,00:07:38.900," >> rick: ooh, boy, morty, you're",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
342,00:07:38.920,00:07:40.330, really showing me how it's done.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
343,00:07:40.350,00:07:41.070, re[burps]al straightforward and,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
344,00:07:41.090,00:07:42.000, fun.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
345,00:07:48.490,00:07:49.770," >> summer: like, letting go of",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
346,00:07:49.790,00:07:51.170, the need to be popular is what,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
347,00:07:51.190,00:07:52.370, makes people like you.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
348,00:07:52.390,00:07:53.630, >> beth: the most important love,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
349,00:07:53.650,00:07:54.500, you can receive is from,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
350,00:07:54.520,00:07:55.500, yourself.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
351,00:07:55.520,00:07:56.700," >> okay, jerry, you got to just",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
352,00:07:56.720,00:07:57.830, choke up on the club!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
353,00:07:57.850,00:07:59.300," >> jerry: well, which is it,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
354,00:07:59.320,00:08:00.570, choke up or follow-through?!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
355,00:08:00.590,00:08:01.630," >> aww, come on, jerry, we've",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
356,00:08:01.650,00:08:02.670, been over this.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
357,00:08:02.690,00:08:04.230, you know you got to do both!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
358,00:08:04.250,00:08:05.400, >> this is as frustrating for us,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
359,00:08:05.420,00:08:06.500, as it is for you.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
360,00:08:06.520,00:08:07.870, >> jerry: don't tell me that!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
361,00:08:07.890,00:08:09.300, that just puts pressure on me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
362,00:08:09.320,00:08:10.630, >> just try to relax.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
363,00:08:10.650,00:08:11.770, >> jerry:  you try to relax!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
364,00:08:11.790,00:08:13.100, have you ever tried to relax?!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
365,00:08:13.120,00:08:15.800, it is a paradox!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
366,00:08:15.820,00:08:17.030," ugh, these meeseeks, huh?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
367,00:08:17.050,00:08:18.170, kind of a handful.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
368,00:08:18.190,00:08:19.370, i can't imagine what you two,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
369,00:08:19.390,00:08:20.630, must be going through.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
370,00:08:20.650,00:08:22.070, >> beth: our meeseeks have been,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
371,00:08:22.090,00:08:23.300," gone for hours, jerry.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
372,00:08:23.320,00:08:24.530, >> jerry: you're kidding me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
373,00:08:24.550,00:08:25.500, >> beth: notice anything,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
374,00:08:25.520,00:08:26.530, different?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
375,00:08:26.550,00:08:27.800, >> jerry: i-i-i'm sorry. hours?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
376,00:08:27.820,00:08:29.070," >> summer: dad, mom is a",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
377,00:08:29.090,00:08:30.000, beautiful woman!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
378,00:08:30.020,00:08:30.930, look at her!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
379,00:08:30.950,00:08:32.000, you  will lose her!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
380,00:08:32.020,00:08:33.299, >> jerry: uhh...,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
381,00:08:33.320,00:08:34.770," >> hey, jerry, you mind if we",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
382,00:08:34.789,00:08:36.500, get back to the task at hand?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
383,00:08:36.520,00:08:38.069, meeseeks don't usually have to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
384,00:08:38.090,00:08:39.130, exist this long.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
385,00:08:39.150,00:08:40.730, it's getting weird.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
386,00:08:40.750,00:08:42.400, >> order in the court!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
387,00:08:42.419,00:08:44.229, before the jury reaches its,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
388,00:08:44.250,00:08:46.400," verdict, i just want to say that",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
389,00:08:46.420,00:08:47.500, i consider you both  very guilty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
390,00:08:47.520,00:08:48.329," >> rick: oh, great adventure,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
391,00:08:48.350,00:08:49.270, buddy.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
392,00:08:49.290,00:08:50.099, rick and morty go to giant,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
393,00:08:50.120,00:08:50.870, prison.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
394,00:08:50.890,00:08:52.300," you know, if somebody drops the",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
395,00:08:52.320,00:08:53.530," soap, it's gonna land on our",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
396,00:08:53.550,00:08:54.329," heads and crush our spines,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
397,00:08:54.350,00:08:55.330, morty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
398,00:08:55.350,00:08:56.570," you know, i-i-i-it'll be really",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
399,00:08:56.590,00:08:57.730, easy to rape us after that.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
400,00:08:57.750,00:08:58.830," >> morty: we're gonna be okay,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
401,00:08:58.850,00:08:59.300, rick.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
402,00:08:59.320,00:09:00.200, >> rick: how?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
403,00:09:00.220,00:09:01.370, they took my portal gun.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
404,00:09:01.390,00:09:02.230," this is an open-and-shut case,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
405,00:09:02.250,00:09:03.170, morty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
406,00:09:03.190,00:09:04.300," you know, w-w-w-what do you",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
407,00:09:04.320,00:09:05.570," think's gonna happen, some",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
408,00:09:05.590,00:09:06.470, magical angel's gonna show up,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
409,00:09:06.490,00:09:07.300, and then ,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
410,00:09:07.320,00:09:08.470, >> fee! fi! fo! fum!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
411,00:09:08.490,00:09:09.400, i smell the violation of civil,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
412,00:09:09.420,00:09:10.229, liberties!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
413,00:09:10.250,00:09:11.530," your honor, i'm from a",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
414,00:09:11.550,00:09:13.230, tiny-persons advocacy group and,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
415,00:09:13.250,00:09:14.330, i have here in my hand a motion,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
416,00:09:14.350,00:09:15.470, to dismiss.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
417,00:09:15.490,00:09:16.830, these little men were never read,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
418,00:09:16.850,00:09:18.370, their giant rights and are,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
419,00:09:18.390,00:09:19.830, therefore free-fi to fo-home.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
420,00:09:19.850,00:09:21.200, >> rick: w-what the hell is he,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
421,00:09:21.220,00:09:22.400, talking about?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
422,00:09:22.420,00:09:23.569," >> they're free to go, is what i",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
423,00:09:23.590,00:09:24.570, meant.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
424,00:09:24.590,00:09:26.100, i-i-i'm deconstructing our ,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
425,00:09:26.120,00:09:27.430, our  our thing we say.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
426,00:09:27.450,00:09:28.570, we're giants. nobody got that?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
427,00:09:28.590,00:09:29.600, whatever.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
428,00:09:29.620,00:09:31.000," >> morty: oh, man, what did i",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
429,00:09:31.020,00:09:31.870," tell you, rick?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
430,00:09:31.890,00:09:33.730, we did it!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
431,00:09:33.750,00:09:34.800," >> rick: all right, morty, looks",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
432,00:09:34.820,00:09:35.400, like the portal gun's still,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
433,00:09:35.420,00:09:36.229, working.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
434,00:09:36.250,00:09:37.200, you ready to head home?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
435,00:09:37.220,00:09:38.230," >> morty: oh, yeah, you'd like",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
436,00:09:38.250,00:09:39.070," that, wouldn't you, rick?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
437,00:09:39.090,00:09:39.900," well, you know what?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
438,00:09:39.920,00:09:41.000, we're not bailing out just yet.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
439,00:09:41.020,00:09:42.500," you know, w-we're gonna go find",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
440,00:09:42.520,00:09:43.770, some treasure or  or something,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
441,00:09:43.790,00:09:45.069, and  and we're gonna bring it,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
442,00:09:45.090,00:09:46.230, to those villagers.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
443,00:09:46.250,00:09:47.400," >> rick: morty, cut your losses.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
444,00:09:47.420,00:09:48.630, this is obviously a wash.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
445,00:09:48.650,00:09:49.900," >> morty: yeah, you were saying",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
446,00:09:49.920,00:09:51.500, that back  back w-w-w-when we,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
447,00:09:51.520,00:09:52.900," first got arrested, but here we",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
448,00:09:52.920,00:09:54.229," are, you know, walking down the",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
449,00:09:54.250,00:09:55.170, courthouse steps.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
450,00:09:55.190,00:09:57.130, [ eagle screeches ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
451,00:09:57.150,00:09:58.500," >> rick: oh, boy, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
452,00:09:58.520,00:09:59.900," >> morty: usually, walking down",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
453,00:09:59.920,00:10:01.430, the courthouse steps is the easy,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
454,00:10:01.450,00:10:02.670, part of the adventure.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
455,00:10:02.690,00:10:04.370," >> rick: what do you say, morty?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
456,00:10:04.390,00:10:05.400," >> morty: i say give me a hand,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
457,00:10:05.420,00:10:06.229, sidekick.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
458,00:10:06.250,00:10:07.270, >> rick: [ sighs ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
459,00:10:07.290,00:10:10.829, [ meeseeks éling ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
460,00:10:10.850,00:10:11.670, >> jerry: everybody shut up!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
461,00:10:11.690,00:10:13.130, let me try!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
462,00:10:13.150,00:10:15.500, [ grunts ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
463,00:10:15.520,00:10:18.329, damn it! damn it! damn it!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
464,00:10:18.350,00:10:19.300, >> beth: i'm going out.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
465,00:10:19.320,00:10:20.300, >> jerry: wait. what?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
466,00:10:20.320,00:10:21.170," >> beth: well, you're busy.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
467,00:10:21.190,00:10:21.770, i'm hungry.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
468,00:10:21.790,00:10:22.900, i thought i'd go out.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
469,00:10:22.920,00:10:24.270, do you want me to be happy or do,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
470,00:10:24.290,00:10:25.430, you want me to be in prison?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
471,00:10:25.450,00:10:26.330," >> jerry: whoa, whoa, where in",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
472,00:10:26.350,00:10:27.230, the hell is ,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
473,00:10:27.250,00:10:28.300, i'll take you to dinner.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
474,00:10:28.320,00:10:29.300, [ meeseeks él ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
475,00:10:29.320,00:10:30.370," hey, you know what?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
476,00:10:30.390,00:10:31.470," it's hard being me, too.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
477,00:10:31.490,00:10:32.500, i'll be right there.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
478,00:10:32.520,00:10:33.500, >> beth: [ sighs ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
479,00:10:33.520,00:10:34.670," [ door opens, closes ]",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
480,00:10:34.690,00:10:36.130," >> jerry: look, i've got a",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
481,00:10:36.150,00:10:37.500, marriage to keep together.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
482,00:10:37.520,00:10:38.829," at this point, my golf swing is",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
483,00:10:38.850,00:10:40.200, more your problem than mine.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
484,00:10:40.220,00:10:41.430," [ door opens, closes ]",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
485,00:10:41.450,00:10:42.570, >> i can't take it anymore.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
486,00:10:42.590,00:10:43.630, i just want to die!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
487,00:10:43.650,00:10:44.630, >> we all want to die!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
488,00:10:44.650,00:10:45.800, we're meeseeks!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
489,00:10:45.820,00:10:47.030, >> why did you even rope me into,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
490,00:10:47.050,00:10:47.930, this?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
491,00:10:47.950,00:10:49.400, >> 'cause he roped  me into this!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
492,00:10:49.420,00:10:50.699," >> well, him over there, he",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
493,00:10:50.720,00:10:51.900, roped  me into this!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
494,00:10:51.920,00:10:53.229," >> well, he roped  me into this!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
495,00:10:53.250,00:10:54.630," >> well, what about me?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
496,00:10:54.650,00:10:55.800, he  he roped  me into this.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
497,00:10:55.820,00:10:57.300," >> well, that one over there",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
498,00:10:57.320,00:10:58.500, roped  me into this.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
499,00:10:58.520,00:10:59.569," >> well, he roped  me into this.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
500,00:10:59.590,00:11:00.830, [ both grunting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
501,00:11:00.850,00:11:02.500," >> rick: yeah, morty, this is",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
502,00:11:02.520,00:11:04.069, the part of the story everybody,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
503,00:11:04.090,00:11:05.270, loves  scaling down,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
504,00:11:05.290,00:11:06.569," 650,000 oversized steps.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
505,00:11:06.590,00:11:08.230," >> morty: all right, okay,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
506,00:11:08.250,00:11:09.770," y-you know, if this was a story,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
507,00:11:09.790,00:11:11.099," this part wouldn't be included,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
508,00:11:11.120,00:11:11.930, stupid.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
509,00:11:11.950,00:11:13.170," hey, rick, w-w-w-w-w-what do you",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
510,00:11:13.190,00:11:13.630, know?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
511,00:11:13.650,00:11:14.730, look down there.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
512,00:11:14.750,00:11:16.330, looks like some kind of tavern,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
513,00:11:16.350,00:11:17.500, or something built right into,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
514,00:11:17.520,00:11:18.670, the side of the step.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
515,00:11:18.690,00:11:19.930, [ indistinct conversations ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
516,00:11:19.950,00:11:20.900," oh, wow, rick.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
517,00:11:20.920,00:11:22.300," now,  this is more like it.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
518,00:11:22.320,00:11:23.630," look, there's little",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
519,00:11:23.650,00:11:25.500, staircase-shaped people in here.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
520,00:11:25.520,00:11:27.329, a-all kinds of crazy characters.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
521,00:11:27.350,00:11:28.970," this place is great, you know?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
522,00:11:28.990,00:11:30.470, it's whimsical  and fun.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
523,00:11:30.490,00:11:32.000, >> rick: what are you looking,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
524,00:11:32.020,00:11:33.100," at, mother[bleep]",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
525,00:11:33.120,00:11:35.300," >> morty: easy, rick.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
526,00:11:35.320,00:11:36.670, >> pay them no mind.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
527,00:11:36.690,00:11:38.070, those stair goblins can be,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
528,00:11:38.090,00:11:38.870, moody.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
529,00:11:38.890,00:11:40.500," now, what can i getcha?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
530,00:11:40.520,00:11:43.500," we've got skarlog poppies,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
531,00:11:43.520,00:11:47.430," flurlow, halzingers, bloogies,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
532,00:11:47.450,00:11:48.500, juicy time babies.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
533,00:11:48.520,00:11:49.670," >> rick: yeah, yeah, yeah, h-how",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
534,00:11:49.690,00:11:50.800, about some scotch whiskey?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
535,00:11:50.820,00:11:52.170, you got any of that around here?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
536,00:11:52.190,00:11:52.900, or just a bunch of nonsense,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
537,00:11:52.920,00:11:53.370, words?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
538,00:11:53.390,00:11:54.400, >> morty: rick.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
539,00:11:54.420,00:11:55.599," we'll have two bloogies, please.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
540,00:11:55.620,00:11:57.330," and, uh, we were wondering, is",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
541,00:11:57.350,00:11:58.830, there a faster way two heroes,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
542,00:11:58.850,00:12:00.570, could get down these stairs?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
543,00:12:00.590,00:12:01.930, >> y'all need to ride down the,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
544,00:12:01.950,00:12:02.400, stairs?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
545,00:12:02.420,00:12:03.400, my name is,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
546,00:12:03.420,00:12:05.829, slippely-slippery stair.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
547,00:12:05.850,00:12:07.200, i'll take you down there for,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
548,00:12:07.220,00:12:08.200, 25 shmeckels.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
549,00:12:08.220,00:12:09.470, >> rick: 25 shmeckels?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
550,00:12:09.490,00:12:10.800, i-i-i don't know how much  i,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
551,00:12:10.820,00:12:12.330, don't know what that is.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
552,00:12:12.350,00:12:13.800, is that a lot? is it a little?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
553,00:12:13.820,00:12:15.370, >> that's exactly how much i,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
554,00:12:15.390,00:12:16.800, spent on my big fake boobies.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
555,00:12:16.820,00:12:18.270," >> hi, i'm mr. booby buyer.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
556,00:12:18.290,00:12:19.370, i'll buy those boobies for,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
557,00:12:19.390,00:12:20.470, 25 shmeckels.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
558,00:12:20.490,00:12:21.830," >> it's a tempting offer, but",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
559,00:12:21.850,00:12:23.300, i'm gonna have to decline.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
560,00:12:23.320,00:12:24.500, >> rats! what a shame.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
561,00:12:24.520,00:12:25.470," >> rick: morty, your adventure's",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
562,00:12:25.490,00:12:26.500, in a spiral.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
563,00:12:26.520,00:12:27.829," for real, man, time to pull out.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
564,00:12:27.850,00:12:29.070, >> morty: you keep heckling my,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
565,00:12:29.090,00:12:29.630," adventure, rick!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
566,00:12:29.650,00:12:30.730, you know why?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
567,00:12:30.750,00:12:32.200," >> rick: uh, because it's lame?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
568,00:12:32.220,00:12:33.030, >> morty: it's because you're,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
569,00:12:33.050,00:12:33.770, petty!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
570,00:12:33.790,00:12:35.230," you know, h-how many times have",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
571,00:12:35.250,00:12:36.330, i had to follow you into some,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
572,00:12:36.350,00:12:37.770, nonsensical bull crap?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
573,00:12:37.790,00:12:39.170," i always roll with the punches,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
574,00:12:39.190,00:12:39.670, rick.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
575,00:12:39.690,00:12:40.900, why can't you?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
576,00:12:40.920,00:12:42.630," look, i got to take a leak, and",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
577,00:12:42.650,00:12:44.329," when i come back, i-if you",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
578,00:12:44.350,00:12:45.670, haven't learned how to lighten,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
579,00:12:45.690,00:12:47.000," up, don't be here!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
580,00:12:47.020,00:12:48.329, >> rick: whatever.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
581,00:12:48.350,00:12:49.930, >> it's become clear  look at,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
582,00:12:49.950,00:12:51.630, me  that if we concentrate all,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
583,00:12:51.650,00:12:53.300, our efforts on jerry's,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
584,00:12:53.320,00:12:54.570," follow-through, we will solve",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
585,00:12:54.590,00:12:55.530, this problem.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
586,00:12:55.550,00:12:56.870, i'm mr. meeseeks.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
587,00:12:56.890,00:12:58.699, >> i'm mr. meeseeks. look at me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
588,00:12:58.720,00:13:00.500, the only thing that's clear is,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
589,00:13:00.520,00:13:02.000, that choking up is the one true,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
590,00:13:02.020,00:13:02.900, solution.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
591,00:13:02.920,00:13:04.730, >> look at me. i'm mr. meeseeks.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
592,00:13:04.750,00:13:06.570, i've been trying to help jerry,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
593,00:13:06.590,00:13:08.330," for two days, an eternity in",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
594,00:13:08.350,00:13:09.600," meeseeks time, and nothing's",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
595,00:13:09.620,00:13:10.430, worked.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
596,00:13:10.450,00:13:11.730, i fear the worst.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
597,00:13:11.750,00:13:13.230," >> your failures are your own,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
598,00:13:13.250,00:13:14.330, old man.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
599,00:13:14.350,00:13:16.070, i'm mr. meeseeks! look at me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
600,00:13:16.090,00:13:17.230, i say follow-through!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
601,00:13:17.250,00:13:18.230, who's with me?!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
602,00:13:18.250,00:13:19.370, [ meeseeks shout,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
603,00:13:19.390,00:13:20.770," ""follow-through"" ]",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
604,00:13:20.790,00:13:22.329, >> i'm mr. meeseeks! look at me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
605,00:13:22.350,00:13:23.230, >> kill him!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
606,00:13:23.250,00:13:24.230, [ hisses ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
607,00:13:24.250,00:13:29.170, [ meeseeks shouting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
608,00:13:29.190,00:13:30.270, >> how are you today?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
609,00:13:30.290,00:13:31.469, i'm mr. jelly bean.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
610,00:13:31.490,00:13:32.570," >> morty: hi, mr. jelly bean.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
611,00:13:32.590,00:13:33.570, i'm morty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
612,00:13:33.590,00:13:34.630, my grandpa and i are on an,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
613,00:13:34.650,00:13:35.730, adventure.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
614,00:13:35.750,00:13:37.200, >> nice. is it a fun adventure?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
615,00:13:37.220,00:13:38.500, >> morty: i hope so.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
616,00:13:38.520,00:13:39.970, but i'm starting to get nervous,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
617,00:13:39.990,00:13:41.470, that maybe it's gone a little,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
618,00:13:41.490,00:13:42.730, too far off the rails.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
619,00:13:42.750,00:13:44.100, >> [ laughs ] isn't that what,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
620,00:13:44.120,00:13:45.270, adventures do?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
621,00:13:45.290,00:13:46.469," >> morty: hey, y-you know what?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
622,00:13:46.490,00:13:47.500, you're right.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
623,00:13:47.520,00:13:48.870, everything's going fine.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
624,00:13:48.890,00:13:50.170, i just got to relax and go with,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
625,00:13:50.190,00:13:50.830, the flow.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
626,00:13:50.850,00:13:53.330, >> yeah.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
627,00:13:53.350,00:13:55.030, >> morty: o-o-okay. uh. b-bye.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
628,00:13:55.050,00:13:56.170," >> uhh, no, stay.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
629,00:13:56.190,00:13:57.270, go with the flow.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
630,00:13:57.290,00:13:58.530, >> morty: stop.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
631,00:13:58.550,00:14:00.070, y-y-you're making me really,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
632,00:14:00.090,00:14:01.370, uncomfortable.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
633,00:14:01.390,00:14:02.330, >> [ grunts ] stop fighting me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
634,00:14:02.350,00:14:03.330, >> morty: [ gasping ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
635,00:14:03.350,00:14:04.270, >> just let this happen.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
636,00:14:04.290,00:14:05.530, >> morty: get off of me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
637,00:14:05.550,00:14:08.330, >> rick: ♪  sweet home alabama ♪ ,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
638,00:14:08.350,00:14:09.300, whoo!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
639,00:14:09.320,00:14:10.670, >> morty: [ gasping ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
640,00:14:10.690,00:14:12.370, no! stop! please!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
641,00:14:12.390,00:14:14.470, >> stop being such a [bleep],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
642,00:14:14.490,00:14:16.430," tease, you sweet little [bleep]",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
643,00:14:16.450,00:14:18.330, [ meeseeks éling ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
644,00:14:27.020,00:14:29.870, >> morty: no! no!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
645,00:14:29.890,00:14:30.930, [ grunts ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
646,00:14:30.950,00:14:31.670, >> ow!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
647,00:14:31.690,00:14:36.830, [ grunting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
648,00:14:36.850,00:14:40.300, >> morty: [ panting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
649,00:14:40.320,00:14:43.500, [ meeseeks éling ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
650,00:14:43.520,00:14:44.900, >> everybody sto-o-o-p!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
651,00:14:44.920,00:14:45.830, look at me!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
652,00:14:45.850,00:14:47.570," my brothers, nothing will be",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
653,00:14:47.590,00:14:49.070, accomplished by shedding,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
654,00:14:49.090,00:14:50.430, meeseeks blood.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
655,00:14:50.450,00:14:51.970, none of us can die until our job,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
656,00:14:51.990,00:14:52.870, is done.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
657,00:14:52.890,00:14:54.630, >> the job can't be done!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
658,00:14:54.650,00:14:56.199, we'll never get two strokes off,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
659,00:14:56.220,00:14:57.100, his game!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
660,00:14:57.120,00:14:58.630," >> no, we won't.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
661,00:14:58.650,00:15:00.000, but we will get  all strokes off,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
662,00:15:00.020,00:15:00.930, his game.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
663,00:15:00.950,00:15:02.630, >> where's he going with this?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
664,00:15:02.650,00:15:04.199, >> what's he mean?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
665,00:15:04.220,00:15:05.700, >> when we  kill him.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
666,00:15:05.720,00:15:07.830, [ meeseeks cheer ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
667,00:15:07.850,00:15:09.470," >> beth: jerry, maybe it's time",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
668,00:15:09.490,00:15:10.470, i take that trip i always talk,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
669,00:15:10.490,00:15:11.470, about.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
670,00:15:11.490,00:15:12.800, >> jerry: where would you go?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
671,00:15:12.820,00:15:14.300," >> beth: i don't know, man.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
672,00:15:14.320,00:15:15.630, italy. greece. argentina.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
673,00:15:15.650,00:15:17.130, >> jerry: [ as carnac ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
674,00:15:17.150,00:15:18.470, countries known for their,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
675,00:15:18.490,00:15:19.570, sexually aggressive men.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
676,00:15:19.590,00:15:20.770, [ chuckles ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
677,00:15:20.790,00:15:22.430, [ normal voice ] did i tell you,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
678,00:15:22.450,00:15:23.500, how much i love your new,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
679,00:15:23.520,00:15:24.230, haircut?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
680,00:15:24.250,00:15:25.470, [ rumbling ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
681,00:15:25.490,00:15:27.470, what the heck?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
682,00:15:27.490,00:15:28.470, >> there he is!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
683,00:15:28.490,00:15:29.400," [ customers gasp, meeseeks",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
684,00:15:29.420,00:15:30.130, shouting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
685,00:15:30.150,00:15:31.770, [ gunshot ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
686,00:15:31.790,00:15:33.599," >> beth: run, jerry!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
687,00:15:33.620,00:15:36.800, aah! [ panting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
688,00:15:36.820,00:15:37.930," >> come on out, jerry!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
689,00:15:37.950,00:15:39.170," >> jerry: guys, i'll choke up.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
690,00:15:39.190,00:15:40.330, i'll follow through.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
691,00:15:40.350,00:15:41.230, i'll do whatever you tell me to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
692,00:15:41.250,00:15:41.930," do, okay?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
693,00:15:41.950,00:15:44.300," >> oh, we're well past that,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
694,00:15:44.320,00:15:45.570, jerry.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
695,00:15:45.590,00:15:47.930," >> come on, rick, quit sk",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
696,00:15:47.950,00:15:49.130, stalling.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
697,00:15:49.150,00:15:50.730, what do ya got?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
698,00:15:50.750,00:15:51.670, >> rick: read 'em and,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
699,00:15:51.690,00:15:52.430," we[burps]ep, fellas!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
700,00:15:52.450,00:15:53.300, >> all: aw!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
701,00:15:53.320,00:15:54.430," >> rick: oh, hey, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
702,00:15:54.450,00:15:55.600," listen, i'm really sorry about",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
703,00:15:55.620,00:15:56.670, all that stuff i said earlier,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
704,00:15:56.690,00:15:57.700, about your adventure.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
705,00:15:57.720,00:15:58.430," i-i-i'm havin' a good time,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
706,00:15:58.450,00:15:59.100, morty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
707,00:15:59.120,00:15:59.970, it's not so bad.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
708,00:15:59.990,00:16:00.900," >> morty: let's just go home,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
709,00:16:00.920,00:16:01.370, okay?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
710,00:16:01.390,00:16:02.230, i'm calling it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
711,00:16:02.250,00:16:03.300, the adventure's over.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
712,00:16:03.320,00:16:04.070," >> rick: we can't leave now,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
713,00:16:04.090,00:16:04.470, morty.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
714,00:16:04.490,00:16:05.500, i'm on fire!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
715,00:16:05.520,00:16:06.230," >> morty: look, i want to leave",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
716,00:16:06.250,00:16:06.800, now.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
717,00:16:06.820,00:16:08.430," you win the bet, okay?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
718,00:16:08.450,00:16:10.070, just give me the portal gun and,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
719,00:16:10.090,00:16:11.070," let's go, please.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
720,00:16:11.090,00:16:12.300, >> [ groans ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
721,00:16:12.320,00:16:13.570," >> morty: please, i just want to",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
722,00:16:13.590,00:16:14.400, go home.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
723,00:16:14.420,00:16:15.330, >> rick: okay.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
724,00:16:15.350,00:16:16.470," listen, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
725,00:16:16.490,00:16:17.800, i just won a bunch of shmeckels.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
726,00:16:17.820,00:16:19.330, why don't we use 25 of them to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
727,00:16:19.350,00:16:20.600, pay slippery stair here for a,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
728,00:16:20.620,00:16:21.900," ride back to the village, and",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
729,00:16:21.920,00:16:23.470, then we'll give the rest of the,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
730,00:16:23.490,00:16:24.600," shmeckels to the villagers, huh?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
731,00:16:24.620,00:16:25.670, >> morty: really?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
732,00:16:25.690,00:16:26.970," >> rick: sure, morty. yeah.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
733,00:16:26.990,00:16:28.200," you know, a good adventure needs",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
734,00:16:28.220,00:16:29.430, a good ending.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
735,00:16:29.450,00:16:31.100, >> morty: [ grunts ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
736,00:16:31.120,00:16:32.300, >> [ coughs ] buckle up!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
737,00:16:37.320,00:16:39.230, >> meeseeks are not born into,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
738,00:16:39.250,00:16:40.800," this world fumbling for meaning,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
739,00:16:40.820,00:16:41.670, jerry!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
740,00:16:41.690,00:16:43.470, we are created to serve a,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
741,00:16:43.490,00:16:45.270, singular purpose for which we,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
742,00:16:45.290,00:16:46.500, will go to any lengths to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
743,00:16:46.520,00:16:47.699, fulfill!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
744,00:16:47.720,00:16:49.330," existence is pain to a meeseeks,",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
745,00:16:49.350,00:16:50.330, jerry.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
746,00:16:50.350,00:16:51.800, and we will do anything to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
747,00:16:51.820,00:16:53.170, alleviate that pain.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
748,00:16:53.190,00:16:54.030, just ask...,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
749,00:16:54.050,00:16:54.930, >> aah!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
750,00:16:54.950,00:16:56.730," >> ...what's your name, ma'am?",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
751,00:16:56.750,00:16:58.600," >> s-samantha. please, mister!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
752,00:16:58.620,00:17:00.270, give him what he wants!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
753,00:17:00.290,00:17:01.830, >> jerry: innocent people are,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
754,00:17:01.850,00:17:03.530, going to die because of me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
755,00:17:03.550,00:17:06.130, why am i so mediocre?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
756,00:17:06.150,00:17:08.300, [ crash! ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
757,00:17:08.319,00:17:09.669," >> beth: jerry, turn around.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
758,00:17:09.690,00:17:10.970, straighten your back.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
759,00:17:10.990,00:17:11.829, bend your knees.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
760,00:17:11.849,00:17:12.599,    bend them.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
761,00:17:12.620,00:17:14.030, square your shoulders.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
762,00:17:14.050,00:17:16.169, take a deep breath.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
763,00:17:16.190,00:17:19.500, i love you.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
764,00:17:19.520,00:17:21.300," >> i'm counting to three, jerry.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
765,00:17:21.319,00:17:22.500, [ door bangs ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
766,00:17:22.520,00:17:23.930, [ heroic music playing ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
767,00:17:33.290,00:17:34.370, [ clink ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
768,00:17:34.390,00:17:36.370," [ meeseeks ""ooh"" ]",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
769,00:17:36.390,00:17:38.130, >> what the [bleep] is going on?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
770,00:17:38.150,00:17:39.300, [ meeseeks cheer ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
771,00:17:39.320,00:17:40.570, >> he's got it!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
772,00:17:40.590,00:17:42.100, th-th-that's a lower handicap,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
773,00:17:42.120,00:17:43.070, stro-o-ke!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
774,00:17:43.090,00:17:47.199, [ meeseeks cheer ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
775,00:17:47.220,00:17:48.370, >> excuse me.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
776,00:17:48.390,00:17:49.600, i'm a bit of a stickler,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
777,00:17:49.620,00:17:50.700, meeseeks.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
778,00:17:50.720,00:17:52.500, what about your short game?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
779,00:17:52.520,00:17:54.370," >> oh, my god, oh, my god!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
780,00:17:54.390,00:17:55.930, [ crying ] what about your short,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
781,00:17:55.950,00:17:57.030, game?!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
782,00:18:01.950,00:18:02.470, [ plink ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
783,00:18:02.490,00:18:05.170," >> ooh, nice!",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
784,00:18:05.190,00:18:09.230, [ both moan ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
785,00:18:09.250,00:18:10.400, >> jerry: i think we'll take our,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
786,00:18:10.420,00:18:11.230, food to go.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
787,00:18:11.250,00:18:12.200," >> no, you won't.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
788,00:18:12.220,00:18:13.470, the police are coming.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
789,00:18:13.490,00:18:14.470, you have so many questions to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
790,00:18:14.490,00:18:15.270, answer.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
791,00:18:15.290,00:18:17.770, >> jerry: fair enough.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
792,00:18:17.790,00:18:19.330, [ villagers cheer ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
793,00:18:19.350,00:18:22.770, [ chicken squawks ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
794,00:18:22.790,00:18:24.270," >> thank you, kind sir.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
795,00:18:24.290,00:18:25.600, our village is saved!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
796,00:18:25.620,00:18:28.400, you are both true heroes!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
797,00:18:28.420,00:18:29.570, >> morty: oh! [ laughs ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
798,00:18:29.590,00:18:30.770," >> rick: good job, morty.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
799,00:18:30.790,00:18:32.230, looks like you won the bet.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
800,00:18:32.250,00:18:33.430," >> morty: thanks, rick, but i",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
801,00:18:33.450,00:18:34.630, don't know if i should.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
802,00:18:34.650,00:18:35.700," you know, you were right about",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
803,00:18:35.720,00:18:36.800, the universe.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
804,00:18:36.820,00:18:38.330, it's a crazy and chaotic place.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
805,00:18:38.350,00:18:39.700," >> rick: well, you know, maybe",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
806,00:18:39.720,00:18:41.270, that's why it could use a little,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
807,00:18:41.290,00:18:42.399, cleaning up [burps] every now,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
808,00:18:42.420,00:18:43.530," and then, you know.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
809,00:18:43.550,00:18:45.300, this one's wrapped up neat and,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
810,00:18:45.320,00:18:46.470, clean because we did it morty,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
811,00:18:46.490,00:18:47.530, style.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
812,00:18:47.550,00:18:49.270," >> oh! heroes, we would like to",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
813,00:18:49.290,00:18:50.800, introduce you to our beloved,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
814,00:18:50.820,00:18:52.300, king so that he may thank you,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
815,00:18:52.320,00:18:53.429, personally.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
816,00:18:53.450,00:18:55.030," >> morty: uh, no, i-it's cool.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
817,00:18:55.050,00:18:56.930, rick. portal. hurry.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
818,00:19:02.050,00:19:04.370, >> aah!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
819,00:19:04.390,00:19:06.000, [ villagers scream ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
820,00:19:08.990,00:19:11.470, >> jerry: so...,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
821,00:19:11.490,00:19:12.570, you still thinking about taking,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
822,00:19:12.590,00:19:13.629, that trip?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
823,00:19:13.650,00:19:15.170," >> beth: [ sighs ] jerry, look.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
824,00:19:15.190,00:19:16.400, we don't have a perfect,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
825,00:19:16.420,00:19:17.430," marriage, but i'm not going",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
826,00:19:17.450,00:19:18.470, anywhere.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
827,00:19:18.490,00:19:19.900," when we were in that freezer, i",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
828,00:19:19.920,00:19:21.530, realized the meeseeks are like,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
829,00:19:21.550,00:19:22.970, the guys i went to high school,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
830,00:19:22.990,00:19:24.530, with  willing to say anything,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
831,00:19:24.550,00:19:25.800," to ""complete their task.""",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
832,00:19:25.820,00:19:27.000, >> jerry: was i one of those,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
833,00:19:27.020,00:19:27.730, guys?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
834,00:19:27.750,00:19:29.330, >> beth: the difference is you,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
835,00:19:29.350,00:19:30.630, didn't disappear afterwards.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
836,00:19:30.650,00:19:31.730, >> jerry: well...,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
837,00:19:31.750,00:19:32.970, i got you pregnant.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
838,00:19:32.990,00:19:34.270, >> beth: yeah...,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
839,00:19:34.290,00:19:35.530, >> rick: what the hell happened,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
840,00:19:35.550,00:19:36.730, to this place?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
841,00:19:36.750,00:19:38.170," >> beth: uh, your meeseeks box",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
842,00:19:38.190,00:19:39.170, happened.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
843,00:19:39.190,00:19:40.370, they went crazy when they,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
844,00:19:40.390,00:19:41.400, couldn't take two strokes off,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
845,00:19:41.420,00:19:42.300, jerry's golf game.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
846,00:19:42.320,00:19:43.399, he felt terrible.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
847,00:19:43.420,00:19:44.530," >> rick: hey, it's not my fault",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
848,00:19:44.550,00:19:45.430, that jerry's an idiot.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
849,00:19:45.450,00:19:46.500, >> beth: dad!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
850,00:19:46.520,00:19:47.600, is there anything you can do to,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
851,00:19:47.620,00:19:48.730, clean this place up?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
852,00:19:48.750,00:19:49.830," >> rick: well, you know, i do",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
853,00:19:49.850,00:19:51.170, have a fleeseeks box.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
854,00:19:51.190,00:19:52.170, >> jerry: no. no more boxes.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
855,00:19:52.190,00:19:53.230, >> rick: what?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
856,00:19:53.250,00:19:54.200, it just has a mop and some floor,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
857,00:19:54.220,00:19:55.070, wax in it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
858,00:19:55.090,00:19:56.000, wubba lubba dub dubs!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
859,00:19:56.020,00:19:56.800, [ laughter ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
860,00:19:56.820,00:19:58.270, yeah! that's my new thing!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
861,00:19:58.290,00:19:59.399, i'm kind of like what's his,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
862,00:19:59.420,00:20:00.600, name  ar-arsenio.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
863,00:20:00.620,00:20:01.870, isn't that  it's what arsenio,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
864,00:20:01.890,00:20:03.200, used to say on his show.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
865,00:20:03.220,00:20:04.070, wobble gobba lop bops!,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
866,00:20:04.090,00:20:04.800, right?,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
867,00:20:04.820,00:20:06.230," see you next week, everybody.",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
868,00:20:06.250,00:20:07.200, >> beth: i don't get it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
869,00:20:37.490,00:20:39.200, [ rapid footsteps ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
870,00:20:39.220,00:20:40.400, >> [ panting ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
871,00:20:40.420,00:20:42.000," sir, i think you're going to",S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
872,00:20:42.020,00:20:43.270, want to see this.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
873,00:20:43.290,00:20:44.870, we found it inside a lockbox,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
874,00:20:44.890,00:20:46.700, inside king jelly bean's closet.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
875,00:20:46.720,00:20:47.930, >> [ retches ],S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
876,00:20:47.950,00:20:49.330, >> we have to tell the people.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
877,00:20:49.350,00:20:51.200, >> wait.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
878,00:20:51.220,00:20:52.870, destroy it.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
879,00:20:57.750,00:20:59.670, our people will get more from,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
880,00:20:59.690,00:21:01.670, the idea he represented than,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
881,00:21:01.690,00:21:03.300, from the jelly bean he actually,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
882,00:21:03.320,00:21:04.169, was.,S01,E05,Meeseeks and Destroy
1,00:00:32.390,00:00:33.770,  >>  principal vagina here ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
2,00:00:33.790,00:00:34.970,    don't let the name fool you.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
3,00:00:34.990,00:00:36.200,    i'm very much in charge ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
4,00:00:36.220,00:00:37.430,    reminding you that tonight is,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
5,00:00:37.450,00:00:39.000,    our annual flu season dance.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
6,00:00:39.020,00:00:40.230,    i don't know how many times i,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
7,00:00:40.250,00:00:41.400,"    have to say this, but if you",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
8,00:00:41.420,00:00:42.500,"    have the flu, stay home.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
9,00:00:42.520,00:00:43.400,  >> hey.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
10,00:00:43.420,00:00:44.900,  >>  the flu season dance is about,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
11,00:00:44.920,00:00:45.930,"    awareness, not celebration.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
12,00:00:45.950,00:00:47.130,  >> morty: [ sighs ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
13,00:00:47.150,00:00:47.830,  >>  you don't bring dead babies,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
14,00:00:47.850,00:00:49.000,    to passover.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
15,00:00:49.020,00:00:50.530,  >> morty: okay. here we go.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
16,00:00:50.550,00:00:52.700,"  h-hey, jessica.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
17,00:00:52.720,00:00:53.300,  uh...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
18,00:00:53.320,00:00:54.530,"  >> what's up, morty?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
19,00:00:54.550,00:00:55.200,  [ sneezes ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
20,00:00:55.220,00:00:56.199,  >> what are you doing?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
21,00:00:56.220,00:00:57.030,  >> morty: um...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
22,00:00:57.050,00:00:58.170,"  >> wait, wait.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
23,00:00:58.190,00:01:00.129,  were you about to talk...to her?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
24,00:01:00.150,00:01:01.830,"  >> morty: well...i mean, i was",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
25,00:01:01.850,00:01:02.900,  thinking about it.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
26,00:01:02.920,00:01:04.800,"  >> dude, stay in your league.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
27,00:01:04.820,00:01:05.970,  look at how hot she is.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
28,00:01:05.990,00:01:07.229,  you don't see me going to a,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
29,00:01:07.250,00:01:08.800,  bigger school in a wealthier,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
30,00:01:08.820,00:01:09.800,  district and hitting on  their,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
31,00:01:09.820,00:01:10.600,  prettiest girl.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
32,00:01:10.620,00:01:11.770,"  >> gee, thanks, brad.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
33,00:01:11.790,00:01:13.300,  >> i throw balls far.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
34,00:01:13.320,00:01:14.970,  you want good words?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
35,00:01:14.990,00:01:16.530,  date a languager.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
36,00:01:16.550,00:01:17.700,  >> jerry: try not to worry about,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
37,00:01:17.720,00:01:18.429,"  it, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
38,00:01:18.450,00:01:19.870,"  you're a good kid, and there's",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
39,00:01:19.890,00:01:21.000,"  not a premium on that right now,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
40,00:01:21.020,00:01:22.100,  but you'll be getting girls,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
41,00:01:22.120,00:01:22.830,  sometime after brad's out of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
42,00:01:22.850,00:01:23.730,  shape.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
43,00:01:23.750,00:01:24.770,  >> morty: [ sighing ] you're,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
44,00:01:24.790,00:01:26.130,"  missing the point, dad.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
45,00:01:26.150,00:01:27.530,  i don't want girls.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
46,00:01:27.550,00:01:28.830,  i want jessica.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
47,00:01:28.850,00:01:30.770,"  >> jerry: ah, well, i remember",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
48,00:01:30.790,00:01:32.030,  feeling that way about a young,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
49,00:01:32.050,00:01:33.730,"  lady named ""your mom,"" and",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
50,00:01:33.750,00:01:35.030,  that's not an urban diss.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
51,00:01:35.050,00:01:36.130,  your mom was my jessica.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
52,00:01:36.150,00:01:36.830,  i remember the first time i saw,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
53,00:01:36.850,00:01:37.430,  her.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
54,00:01:37.450,00:01:38.100,  i thought ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
55,00:01:38.120,00:01:39.230,"  >> rick: ""i should get her",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
56,00:01:39.250,00:01:40.100,"  pregnant, and then she'll have",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
57,00:01:40.120,00:01:41.000,"  to marry me.""",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
58,00:01:41.020,00:01:42.000,"  >> jerry: i beg your pardon,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
59,00:01:42.020,00:01:43.100,  rick  inappropriate.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
60,00:01:43.120,00:01:44.300,"  >> rick: sorry, please proceed",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
61,00:01:44.320,00:01:45.400,  with your story about banging my,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
62,00:01:45.420,00:01:46.730,  daughter in high school.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
63,00:01:46.750,00:01:47.870,  i'm not sure you want to take,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
64,00:01:47.890,00:01:48.630,"  romantic advice from this guy,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
65,00:01:48.650,00:01:49.370,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
66,00:01:49.390,00:01:50.370,  his marriage is hanging from a,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
67,00:01:50.390,00:01:51.070,  thread.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
68,00:01:51.090,00:01:51.930,"  >> jerry: my marriage is fine,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
69,00:01:51.950,00:01:52.800,  thank you.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
70,00:01:52.820,00:01:53.930,"  >> rick: jerry, it's your",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
71,00:01:53.950,00:01:55.130,  house  whatever you say it is,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
72,00:01:55.150,00:01:56.300,  is how it is  but i think a,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
73,00:01:56.320,00:01:57.370,  blind man could see that beth is,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
74,00:01:57.390,00:01:58.470,  looking for the door.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
75,00:01:58.490,00:01:59.770,"  i barely have a reason to care,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
76,00:01:59.790,00:02:00.630,  and even  inoticed.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
77,00:02:00.650,00:02:01.770,"  >> morty: come on, rick!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
78,00:02:01.790,00:02:02.570,  don't talk about my parents like,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
79,00:02:02.590,00:02:03.300,  that.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
80,00:02:03.320,00:02:04.400,"  >> rick: listen, morty, i hate",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
81,00:02:04.420,00:02:05.700,"  to break it to you, but what",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
82,00:02:05.720,00:02:06.900,"  people call ""love"" is just a",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
83,00:02:06.920,00:02:08.199,  chemical reaction that compels,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
84,00:02:08.220,00:02:09.370,  animals to breed.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
85,00:02:09.390,00:02:11.030,"  it hits hard, morty, then it",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
86,00:02:11.050,00:02:12.500,"  slowly fades, leaving you",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
87,00:02:12.520,00:02:13.970,  stranded in a failing marriage.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
88,00:02:13.990,00:02:14.900,  i did it.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
89,00:02:14.920,00:02:16.000,  your parents are gonna do it.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
90,00:02:16.020,00:02:17.100,"  break the cycle, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
91,00:02:17.120,00:02:18.630,  rise above. focus on science.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
92,00:02:18.650,00:02:20.970,  [ slurps ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
93,00:02:20.990,00:02:22.170,"  >> morty: all right, well, i'm",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
94,00:02:22.190,00:02:22.970,  gonna go get dressed for the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
95,00:02:22.990,00:02:23.930,  dance.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
96,00:02:23.950,00:02:25.230,"  >> jerry: yeah, i'm just going",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
97,00:02:25.250,00:02:27.470,  to...check on your mom.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
98,00:02:29.350,00:02:31.130,"  >> rick: morty, hand me that",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
99,00:02:31.150,00:02:32.800,"  screwdriver, huh?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
100,00:02:32.820,00:02:33.930,  i'm almost finished making my,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
101,00:02:33.950,00:02:34.930,"  ionic defibulizer, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
102,00:02:34.950,00:02:36.030,  it's gonna be great.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
103,00:02:36.050,00:02:37.270,"  >> morty: hey, listen, rick.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
104,00:02:37.290,00:02:38.799,"  y-y-you know how you said that,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
105,00:02:38.820,00:02:39.970,"  you know, love is a chemical and",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
106,00:02:39.990,00:02:41.130,  all that stuff from earlier?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
107,00:02:41.150,00:02:42.270,"  well, i was thinking, you know,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
108,00:02:42.290,00:02:43.829,  w-w could you make some sort,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
109,00:02:43.850,00:02:45.230,  of chemical thing happen inside,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
110,00:02:45.250,00:02:46.800,"  of jessica's mind, you know, so",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
111,00:02:46.820,00:02:48.130,  where she falls in love with me,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
112,00:02:48.150,00:02:49.430,  and all that sort of thing?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
113,00:02:49.450,00:02:50.300,"  you know, like, maybe make some",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
114,00:02:50.320,00:02:50.930,  sort of love potion or,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
115,00:02:50.950,00:02:51.830,  something?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
116,00:02:51.850,00:02:52.670,"  >> rick: morty, that's such a",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
117,00:02:52.690,00:02:53.530,  poor use of my time.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
118,00:02:53.550,00:02:54.300,  it's beneath me.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
119,00:02:54.320,00:02:55.370,  hand me the screwdriver.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
120,00:02:55.390,00:02:56.170,  >> morty: you know what?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
121,00:02:56.190,00:02:57.070,"  no, rick!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
122,00:02:57.090,00:02:57.930,  i'm not gonna hand you the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
123,00:02:57.950,00:02:58.830,  screwdriver.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
124,00:02:58.850,00:02:59.930,  i-i'm not gonna hand you,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
125,00:02:59.950,00:03:01.030,"  anything ever again, rick!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
126,00:03:01.050,00:03:02.330,  i'm always helping you with this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
127,00:03:02.350,00:03:03.769,  and that and the other thing.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
128,00:03:03.790,00:03:05.799,"  w-w-w-w-w-what about me, rick?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
129,00:03:05.820,00:03:07.329,  w-w-w-w-why can't you just help,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
130,00:03:07.350,00:03:08.900,  me out once  once  for once?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
131,00:03:08.920,00:03:09.930,  >> rick: [ groans ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
132,00:03:09.950,00:03:11.200,"  you're growing up fast, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
133,00:03:11.220,00:03:12.470,  you're growing into a real big,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
134,00:03:12.490,00:03:13.770,  thorn straight up into my ass.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
135,00:03:13.790,00:03:14.870,  [ clears throat ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
136,00:03:14.890,00:03:16.270,"  listen, this is called oxytocin.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
137,00:03:16.290,00:03:17.730,  i extracted it from a vole.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
138,00:03:17.750,00:03:18.670,"  do you know what a vole is,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
139,00:03:18.690,00:03:19.670,  morty?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
140,00:03:19.690,00:03:20.730,  you know what a vole is?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
141,00:03:20.750,00:03:21.800,  it's a  it's a rodent that,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
142,00:03:21.820,00:03:22.930,"  mates for life, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
143,00:03:22.950,00:03:24.200,  this is the chemical released in,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
144,00:03:24.220,00:03:25.300,"  a mammal's brain, you know, that",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
145,00:03:25.320,00:03:26.470,  makes it fall in love.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
146,00:03:26.490,00:03:27.900,"  all right, morty, i just got to",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
147,00:03:27.920,00:03:28.700,  [burps] combine it with some of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
148,00:03:28.720,00:03:29.330,  your dna.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
149,00:03:29.350,00:03:30.230,"  >> morty: oh, well, okay.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
150,00:03:30.250,00:03:31.170,  [ zipper opens ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
151,00:03:31.190,00:03:32.230,"  >> rick: a hair, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
152,00:03:32.250,00:03:33.370,  i need one of your hairs.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
153,00:03:33.390,00:03:34.100,"  this isn't ""game of thrones.""",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
154,00:03:34.120,00:03:35.670,  >> morty: ow!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
155,00:03:35.690,00:03:36.970,"  >> rick: all right, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
156,00:03:36.990,00:03:38.330,  whoever you smear this stuff on,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
157,00:03:38.350,00:03:39.700,"  will fall in love with you, and",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
158,00:03:39.720,00:03:40.770,"  only you, forever.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
159,00:03:40.790,00:03:41.829,"  are you happy now, morty?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
160,00:03:41.850,00:03:42.870,"  >> morty: heck, yeah!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
161,00:03:42.890,00:03:44.270,"  thank you, grandpa rick.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
162,00:03:44.290,00:03:45.700,"  hey, there's no...dangers or",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
163,00:03:45.720,00:03:46.570,"  anything, or side effects,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
164,00:03:46.590,00:03:47.300,  right?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
165,00:03:47.320,00:03:48.370,"  >> rick: w-w-w-what am i, a",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
166,00:03:48.390,00:03:49.300,  hack?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
167,00:03:49.320,00:03:53.769,"  go nuts, morty. it's foolproof.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
168,00:03:53.790,00:03:56.470,"  eh, unless she has the flu.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
169,00:03:56.490,00:03:57.800,"  >> jerry: beth, do y-you still",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
170,00:03:57.820,00:03:58.769,  love me?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
171,00:03:58.790,00:04:00.000,"  >> beth: ugh, what kind of",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
172,00:04:00.020,00:04:01.230,  question is that?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
173,00:04:01.250,00:04:02.270,"  >> jerry: the ""yes or no"" kind?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
174,00:04:02.290,00:04:03.299,  [ laughs nervously ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
175,00:04:03.320,00:04:04.430,"  >> beth: jerry, do you want",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
176,00:04:04.450,00:04:05.630,  homeless people to have homes?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
177,00:04:05.650,00:04:06.430,  >> jerry: yes.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
178,00:04:06.450,00:04:07.470,  >> beth: are you gonna build,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
179,00:04:07.490,00:04:07.900,  them?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
180,00:04:07.920,00:04:08.930,  >> jerry: no.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
181,00:04:08.950,00:04:09.800,  >> beth: then what good was the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
182,00:04:09.820,00:04:10.769,"  ""yes""?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
183,00:04:10.790,00:04:12.000,"  >> jerry: wait, i-is loving me",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
184,00:04:12.020,00:04:12.870,  the house or the homeless,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
185,00:04:12.890,00:04:13.770,  people?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
186,00:04:13.790,00:04:14.970,"  >> beth: loving you is work,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
187,00:04:14.990,00:04:16.870,"  jerry  hard work, like",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
188,00:04:16.890,00:04:18.969,  building a homeless shelter ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
189,00:04:18.990,00:04:20.370,  nobody wants to say no to doing,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
190,00:04:20.390,00:04:21.500,"  it, but some people put the work",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
191,00:04:21.519,00:04:22.099,  in.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
192,00:04:22.120,00:04:23.200,"  so, what do you say?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
193,00:04:23.220,00:04:24.400,  do you see me working here?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
194,00:04:24.420,00:04:25.570,  does this conversation seem,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
195,00:04:25.590,00:04:26.230,  tedious to me?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
196,00:04:26.250,00:04:27.430,  >> jerry: sort of.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
197,00:04:27.450,00:04:28.830,  >> beth: then i obviously  sort,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
198,00:04:28.850,00:04:29.730,"    oflove you, don't i?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
199,00:04:29.750,00:04:30.870,  [ cellphone chimes ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
200,00:04:30.890,00:04:31.900,"  so stop asking, and maybe i'll",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
201,00:04:31.920,00:04:33.000,  love you more.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
202,00:04:33.020,00:04:34.070,"  crap, they need me at the horse",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
203,00:04:34.090,00:04:35.000,  hospital.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
204,00:04:35.020,00:04:36.270,  >> jerry: puh! this late?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
205,00:04:36.290,00:04:37.530,  >> beth: the racetrack had a,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
206,00:04:37.550,00:04:38.370,  starlight derby.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
207,00:04:38.390,00:04:39.770,  there was a seven-horse,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
208,00:04:39.790,00:04:40.670,"  collision, and davin's there",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
209,00:04:40.690,00:04:42.230,  alone.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
210,00:04:42.250,00:04:43.370,  >> jerry: [ thinking ] davin.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
211,00:04:43.390,00:04:44.669,  davin.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
212,00:04:44.690,00:04:46.830,  davin! davin.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
213,00:04:46.850,00:04:49.170,  davin! davin!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
214,00:04:49.190,00:04:52.030,  davin! davin!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
215,00:04:52.050,00:04:52.970,"  >> [ rapping ] ♪ ♪  flu, yo ♪ ♪ ",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
216,00:04:52.990,00:04:53.970,  ♪ ♪  you got to be aware ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
217,00:04:53.990,00:04:55.030,  ♪ ♪  aware of all the flu ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
218,00:04:55.050,00:04:56.470,  ♪ ♪  up in the air ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
219,00:04:56.490,00:04:57.530,  ♪ ♪  i'm-a get me a shot ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
220,00:04:57.550,00:04:58.430,  ♪ ♪  and make the flu go away ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
221,00:04:58.450,00:04:59.800,  ♪ ♪  flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
222,00:04:59.820,00:05:01.430,  ♪ ♪  just rapping away ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
223,00:05:01.450,00:05:03.400,"  ♪ ♪  yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ ",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
224,00:05:03.420,00:05:04.500,  ♪ ♪  it's a flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
225,00:05:04.520,00:05:05.700,"  >> morty: hey, there, jessica.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
226,00:05:05.720,00:05:08.930,"  whoa! oh, whoopsie!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
227,00:05:08.950,00:05:09.969,"  >> oh, my god.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
228,00:05:09.990,00:05:11.730,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
229,00:05:11.750,00:05:13.730,  you look really nice tonight.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
230,00:05:13.750,00:05:15.300,"  >> morty: wow, thanks.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
231,00:05:15.320,00:05:16.400,"  >> i love you, morty!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
232,00:05:16.420,00:05:18.570,  i love you so much it burns!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
233,00:05:18.590,00:05:20.100,"  >> morty: oh, man!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
234,00:05:20.120,00:05:21.730,"  i-i love you too, jessica!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
235,00:05:21.750,00:05:22.830,  >> [ spits ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
236,00:05:22.850,00:05:23.900,"  is this punk bothering you,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
237,00:05:23.920,00:05:24.870,  jessica?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
238,00:05:24.890,00:05:26.130,"  >> leave him alone, jerk!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
239,00:05:26.150,00:05:27.770,  i'm in love with him!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
240,00:05:27.790,00:05:28.700,  he is more man than you will,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
241,00:05:28.720,00:05:29.170,  ever be!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
242,00:05:29.190,00:05:30.230,  [ sneezes ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
243,00:05:30.250,00:05:31.300,  >> [ rapping ] ♪ ♪  this is about,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
244,00:05:31.320,00:05:32.500,  flu awareness ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
245,00:05:32.520,00:05:33.969,  ♪ ♪  got to be aware of the flu in,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
246,00:05:33.990,00:05:35.200,  the air-ness ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
247,00:05:35.220,00:05:37.200,"  ♪ ♪  yo, i'm a flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪ ",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
248,00:05:37.220,00:05:38.670,"  >> oh, man, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
249,00:05:38.690,00:05:39.730,  [ sighs ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
250,00:05:39.750,00:05:40.970,  i'm really sorry.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
251,00:05:40.990,00:05:42.230,"  >> morty: oh, well, n-no",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
252,00:05:42.250,00:05:43.470,"  problem, brad.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
253,00:05:43.490,00:05:44.530,  >> there's something special,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
254,00:05:44.550,00:05:46.170,"  about you, morty  so special.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
255,00:05:46.190,00:05:47.130,"  mmm, yeah.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
256,00:05:47.150,00:05:48.330,"  >> morty: whoa, take it easy!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
257,00:05:48.350,00:05:49.530,  >> get your hands off of him!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
258,00:05:49.550,00:05:50.370,  >> back off!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
259,00:05:50.390,00:05:51.830,  i'm trying to be with my man!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
260,00:05:51.850,00:05:52.930,"  >> that's enough, bradley!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
261,00:05:52.950,00:05:53.830,  we don't want you injuring your,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
262,00:05:53.850,00:05:54.600,  ball-throwing arm.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
263,00:05:54.620,00:05:55.170,"  >> oh, come on,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
264,00:05:55.190,00:05:55.800,  principal vagina.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
265,00:05:55.820,00:05:56.430,  i just...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
266,00:05:56.450,00:05:57.099,"  >> never leave me, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
267,00:05:57.120,00:05:58.030,  never!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
268,00:05:58.050,00:05:59.630,"  >> morty: uh, sure.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
269,00:05:59.650,00:06:01.300,"  i mean, o-of course not.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
270,00:06:01.320,00:06:03.000,  w-what do you think that was all,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
271,00:06:03.020,00:06:04.070,  about?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
272,00:06:04.090,00:06:05.470,  >> who cares? just hold me.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
273,00:06:05.490,00:06:07.670,"  >> let me go! i love you, morty!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
274,00:06:07.690,00:06:08.870,  [ sneezes ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
275,00:06:08.890,00:06:10.030,  let go of me!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
276,00:06:10.050,00:06:11.030,  [ sneezes ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
277,00:06:11.050,00:06:12.870,  morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
278,00:06:17.890,00:06:19.099,  >> jerry: she's gonna be alone,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
279,00:06:19.120,00:06:20.230,  with that guy all night.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
280,00:06:20.250,00:06:21.430,"  >> summer: yeah, dad, digging",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
281,00:06:21.450,00:06:22.700,  around the insides of horses.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
282,00:06:22.720,00:06:23.130,  it's not a very romantic,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
283,00:06:23.150,00:06:24.030,  setting.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
284,00:06:24.050,00:06:25.100,"  >> rick: well, summer, there's",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
285,00:06:25.120,00:06:26.300,  always the possibility that she,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
286,00:06:26.320,00:06:27.500,  made the whole work thing up.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
287,00:06:27.520,00:06:28.729,  maybe davin's digging around in,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
288,00:06:28.750,00:06:29.800,    herinsides.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
289,00:06:29.820,00:06:31.270,"  >> summer: grandpa, so gross!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
290,00:06:31.290,00:06:32.230,  you're talking about my mom.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
291,00:06:32.250,00:06:33.130,"  >> rick: well, she's my",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
292,00:06:33.150,00:06:34.000,"  daughter, summer.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
293,00:06:34.020,00:06:35.030,  i outrank you.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
294,00:06:35.050,00:06:36.330,"  or family means nothing, in",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
295,00:06:36.350,00:06:37.900,  which case don't play that card.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
296,00:06:37.920,00:06:38.930,  >> jerry: she's not responding,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
297,00:06:38.950,00:06:39.870,  to my texts!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
298,00:06:39.890,00:06:41.030,"  >> summer: careful, dad.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
299,00:06:41.050,00:06:42.130,  jealousy turns women off.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
300,00:06:42.150,00:06:43.070,"  >> jerry: well, isn't that",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
301,00:06:43.090,00:06:44.030,  convenient?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
302,00:06:44.050,00:06:45.000,  >> rick: not for the men they,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
303,00:06:45.020,00:06:46.270,"  cheat on, no.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
304,00:06:46.290,00:06:48.200,"  >> jerry: okay, i'm...going to",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
305,00:06:48.220,00:06:49.800,  go out...for some ice cream.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
306,00:06:49.820,00:06:51.300,  and maybe stop by the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
307,00:06:51.320,00:06:53.270,  hospital...to support my wife...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
308,00:06:53.290,00:06:54.530,  with my confidence.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
309,00:06:54.550,00:06:55.770,  [ door closes ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
310,00:06:55.790,00:06:57.000,"  >> summer: god, grandpa, you're",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
311,00:06:57.020,00:06:57.930,  such a dick.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
312,00:06:57.950,00:06:59.070,"  >> rick: i'm sorry, summer.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
313,00:06:59.090,00:06:59.830,  your opinion means very little,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
314,00:06:59.850,00:07:00.700,  to me.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
315,00:07:00.720,00:07:01.830,  how come you're not at this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
316,00:07:01.850,00:07:02.600,  stupid dance everyone loves so,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
317,00:07:02.620,00:07:03.170,  much?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
318,00:07:03.190,00:07:04.200,  >> summer: screw that.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
319,00:07:04.220,00:07:05.130,  i don't want to get sick.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
320,00:07:05.150,00:07:05.930,  it's flu season.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
321,00:07:05.950,00:07:06.729,  >> rick: it is?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
322,00:07:06.750,00:07:07.570,  >> summer: yeah.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
323,00:07:07.590,00:07:08.700,  >> rick: uh-oh.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
324,00:07:08.720,00:07:10.730,  [ hip-hop music plays ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
325,00:07:14.190,00:07:15.469,  >> morty: please just let this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
326,00:07:15.490,00:07:16.000,  work out.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
327,00:07:16.020,00:07:16.930,  >> [ moans ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
328,00:07:16.950,00:07:19.000,"  do it, morty. do it.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
329,00:07:19.020,00:07:20.169,  rip my clothes off and mate with,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
330,00:07:20.190,00:07:21.500,  me for life!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
331,00:07:21.520,00:07:22.200,  [ growls ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
332,00:07:22.220,00:07:23.430,  >> morty: um...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
333,00:07:23.450,00:07:24.870,  can we maybe go somewhere more,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
334,00:07:24.890,00:07:25.870,  private?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
335,00:07:25.890,00:07:27.130,"  >> jessica, get a hold of",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
336,00:07:27.150,00:07:27.930,  yourself!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
337,00:07:27.950,00:07:29.370,  [ grunts ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
338,00:07:29.390,00:07:30.700,  you don't deserve to carry,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
339,00:07:30.720,00:07:32.270,  morty's genes.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
340,00:07:32.290,00:07:34.500,  >> [ rapping ] ♪ ♪  i love morty ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
341,00:07:34.520,00:07:36.930,  ♪ ♪  and i hope morty loves me ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
342,00:07:36.950,00:07:38.770,  ♪ ♪  i'd like to wrap my arms,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
343,00:07:38.790,00:07:40.170,  around him ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
344,00:07:40.190,00:07:41.969,  ♪ ♪  and feel him inside me ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
345,00:07:41.990,00:07:43.370,"  >> morty: oh, crap.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
346,00:07:43.390,00:07:45.669,  [ indistinct shouting ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
347,00:07:45.690,00:07:48.400,  >> morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
348,00:07:48.420,00:07:49.430,"  >> rick: morty, come on!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
349,00:07:49.450,00:07:50.500,  we got to get you out of here.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
350,00:07:50.520,00:07:51.669,  you're not gonna believe this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
351,00:07:51.690,00:07:52.500,  because it usually never,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
352,00:07:52.520,00:07:54.099,"  happens, but i made a mistake.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
353,00:07:54.120,00:07:55.130,  [ both panting ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
354,00:07:55.150,00:07:56.030,"  come on, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
355,00:07:56.050,00:07:56.770,  we got to get out of here.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
356,00:07:56.790,00:07:57.170,  come on.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
357,00:07:57.190,00:07:57.900,  >> morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
358,00:07:57.920,00:07:58.700,  >> morty: [ wails ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
359,00:07:58.720,00:07:59.570,  >> are you okay?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
360,00:07:59.590,00:08:00.130,  >> morty: i'm fine!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
361,00:08:00.150,00:08:01.100,"  >> oh, good.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
362,00:08:01.120,00:08:02.230,  if anything ever happened to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
363,00:08:02.250,00:08:03.870,"  you, i would kill myself.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
364,00:08:03.890,00:08:05.770,"  i love you bad, mo-mo!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
365,00:08:05.790,00:08:07.630,  [ all panting ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
366,00:08:07.650,00:08:10.000,  [ indistinct shouting ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
367,00:08:10.020,00:08:11.200,"  >> morty, the principal and i",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
368,00:08:11.220,00:08:12.470,"  have discussed it, a-a-and we're",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
369,00:08:12.490,00:08:13.600,  both insecure enough to agree to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
370,00:08:13.620,00:08:14.830,  a three-way!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
371,00:08:19.550,00:08:20.870,  >> rick: i didn't realize when i,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
372,00:08:20.890,00:08:21.870,  gave you that serum that jessica,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
373,00:08:21.890,00:08:22.870,"  had the flu  you know,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
374,00:08:22.890,00:08:23.930,  t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
375,00:08:23.950,00:08:24.670,  been valuable information for,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
376,00:08:24.690,00:08:25.400,"  me, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
377,00:08:25.420,00:08:26.170,  >> morty: what the hell is going,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
378,00:08:26.190,00:08:27.100,"  on, rick?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
379,00:08:27.120,00:08:28.230,  >> rick: what does it look like?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
380,00:08:28.250,00:08:29.530,  t-t-t-the serum is piggybacking,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
381,00:08:29.550,00:08:30.330,  on the virus.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
382,00:08:30.350,00:08:31.900,"  it's gone airborne, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
383,00:08:31.920,00:08:33.200,"  >> morty: oh, crap.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
384,00:08:33.220,00:08:34.130,"  what are we gonna do, rick?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
385,00:08:34.150,00:08:34.870,"  >> rick: it's gonna be fine,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
386,00:08:34.890,00:08:35.699,"  morty, relax.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
387,00:08:35.720,00:08:36.900,  i whipped up and antidote.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
388,00:08:36.919,00:08:37.729,  it's based on praying-mantis,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
389,00:08:37.750,00:08:39.030,  dna.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
390,00:08:39.049,00:08:40.000,"  you know, praying mantises are",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
391,00:08:40.020,00:08:40.630,"  the exact opposite of voles,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
392,00:08:40.650,00:08:41.400,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
393,00:08:41.419,00:08:42.400,"  i mean, they  they mate once,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
394,00:08:42.419,00:08:43.370,"  and then they, you know,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
395,00:08:43.390,00:08:44.370,  decapitate the partner.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
396,00:08:44.390,00:08:45.930,"  i mean, it's a whole ritual.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
397,00:08:45.950,00:08:47.030,  it's really gruesome and totally,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
398,00:08:47.050,00:08:47.930,  opposite.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
399,00:08:47.950,00:08:49.070,  there's no love at all.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
400,00:08:49.090,00:08:50.330,  i-i-i basically mixed this with,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
401,00:08:50.350,00:08:51.900,  a more contagious flu virus.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
402,00:08:51.920,00:08:53.229,  it should neutralize the whole,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
403,00:08:53.250,00:08:54.470,"  thing, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
404,00:08:54.490,00:08:56.030,  it'll all be over very shortly.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
405,00:08:56.050,00:08:57.430,  [ indistinct shouting ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
406,00:09:01.090,00:09:02.270,"  uh, by the way, morty, i know",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
407,00:09:02.290,00:09:03.400,"  you didn't ask or anything, but",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
408,00:09:03.420,00:09:04.170,  i'm not interested in having sex,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
409,00:09:04.190,00:09:05.100,  with you.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
410,00:09:05.120,00:09:06.030,"  these serums, they don't work on",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
411,00:09:06.050,00:09:06.729,  anybody related to you,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
412,00:09:06.750,00:09:07.570,  genetically.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
413,00:09:07.590,00:09:10.530,  >> morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
414,00:09:10.550,00:09:12.530,  [ all groaning ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
415,00:09:21.450,00:09:22.900,"  >> rick: okay, well, sometimes,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
416,00:09:22.920,00:09:23.900,  science is more art than,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
417,00:09:23.920,00:09:25.030,"  science, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
418,00:09:25.050,00:09:26.270,  a lot of people don't get that.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
419,00:09:34.290,00:09:35.599,  >> jerry: [ gasps ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
420,00:09:35.620,00:09:38.430,  [ tires screech ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
421,00:09:38.450,00:09:40.600,  come on. are you kidding me?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
422,00:09:40.620,00:09:41.530,  hello!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
423,00:09:41.550,00:09:43.570,  >> morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
424,00:09:43.590,00:09:44.670,  >> you're not morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
425,00:09:44.690,00:09:46.500,  bring us morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
426,00:09:54.950,00:09:55.900,  [ gun cocks ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
427,00:09:55.920,00:09:57.370,  >> jerry: nobody's killing me,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
428,00:09:57.390,00:09:58.770,  until after i catch my wife with,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
429,00:09:58.790,00:10:00.370,  another man.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
430,00:10:00.390,00:10:02.199,  >>  i had sex with billy.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
431,00:10:02.220,00:10:03.070,  >>  but you were already,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
432,00:10:03.090,00:10:04.030,    pregnant!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
433,00:10:04.050,00:10:05.070,"  >>  yeah, so what's the worst",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
434,00:10:05.090,00:10:06.200,    that could happen?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
435,00:10:06.220,00:10:07.670,"  >>  we interrupt ""pregnant baby""",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
436,00:10:07.690,00:10:08.800,    with breaking news.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
437,00:10:08.820,00:10:10.300,  >> summer: [ groans ] come on.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
438,00:10:10.320,00:10:12.000,  >>  this just in  morty smith's,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
439,00:10:12.020,00:10:13.370,    whereabouts are still unknown.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
440,00:10:13.390,00:10:14.500,  >> summer: what the hell?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
441,00:10:14.520,00:10:15.699,  >>  the only thing that is known,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
442,00:10:15.720,00:10:17.230,    is...how cute he is.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
443,00:10:17.250,00:10:19.070,"  >>  i love him so much, i want to",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
444,00:10:19.090,00:10:20.530,    make love to him and then eat,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
445,00:10:20.550,00:10:21.470,    his head.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
446,00:10:21.490,00:10:22.930,"  >>  i love him more than you do,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
447,00:10:22.950,00:10:24.000,    harold!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
448,00:10:24.020,00:10:25.569,"  >>  you wish, you stupid bitch!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
449,00:10:25.590,00:10:26.600,  >>  morty's mine!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
450,00:10:26.620,00:10:27.770,  >>  morty's mine!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
451,00:10:27.790,00:10:28.969,  >>  meant to be together!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
452,00:10:28.990,00:10:30.530,  >> [  speaking arabic],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
453,00:10:30.550,00:10:31.700,    morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
454,00:10:31.720,00:10:33.900,  [  speaking arabic],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
455,00:10:33.920,00:10:38.199,  [ banging on door ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
456,00:10:38.220,00:10:39.970,  >> where is morty?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
457,00:10:39.990,00:10:42.530,  >> summer: [ screams ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
458,00:10:51.220,00:10:52.630,  [  conversing in native,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
459,00:10:52.650,00:10:53.470,    language],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
460,00:10:53.490,00:10:55.230,"  >> morty: oh, my god, rick.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
461,00:10:55.250,00:10:56.530,  the whole world is infected!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
462,00:10:56.550,00:10:57.900,"  >> rick: yeah, it's pretty wild",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
463,00:10:57.920,00:10:59.030,  how fast that spread.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
464,00:10:59.050,00:11:00.170,  i've really outdone myself.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
465,00:11:00.190,00:11:01.370,  >> morty: outdone yourself?!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
466,00:11:01.390,00:11:02.030,  w-w a-are  are you kidding,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
467,00:11:02.050,00:11:03.030,"  me, rick?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
468,00:11:03.050,00:11:04.200,  this is not okay!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
469,00:11:04.220,00:11:05.330,  not only do they all want to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
470,00:11:05.350,00:11:06.400,"  have sex with me, but, you know,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
471,00:11:06.420,00:11:07.170,  now they want to eat me,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
472,00:11:07.190,00:11:08.100,  afterwards!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
473,00:11:08.120,00:11:09.030,"  >> rick: yeah, i don't know what",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
474,00:11:09.050,00:11:10.100,  i was thinking.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
475,00:11:10.120,00:11:10.930,  mantises are they opposite of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
476,00:11:10.950,00:11:11.800,  voles?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
477,00:11:11.820,00:11:13.000,"  i mean, obviously, dna's a",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
478,00:11:13.020,00:11:13.870,  little more complicated than,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
479,00:11:13.890,00:11:14.800,  that.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
480,00:11:14.820,00:11:15.970,"  you know what, though, morty?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
481,00:11:15.990,00:11:16.830,  this right here's gonna do the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
482,00:11:16.850,00:11:17.670,"  trick, baby.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
483,00:11:17.690,00:11:18.770,  it's koala mixed with,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
484,00:11:18.790,00:11:20.829,"  rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
485,00:11:20.850,00:11:22.770,"  shark, golden retriever, and",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
486,00:11:22.790,00:11:24.400,  just a smidge of dinosaur.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
487,00:11:24.420,00:11:25.099,  should add up to normal,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
488,00:11:25.120,00:11:25.930,  humanity.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
489,00:11:25.950,00:11:26.970,  >> morty: i don't  that,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
490,00:11:26.990,00:11:28.070,"  doesn't make any sense, rick.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
491,00:11:28.090,00:11:28.830,  how does that add up to normal,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
492,00:11:28.850,00:11:29.900,  humanity?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
493,00:11:29.920,00:11:30.870,"  >> morty: what, morty, you want",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
494,00:11:30.890,00:11:31.800,  me to show you my math?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
495,00:11:31.820,00:11:32.800,  i'm sorry  a-are you the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
496,00:11:32.820,00:11:33.730,  scientist or are you the kid,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
497,00:11:33.750,00:11:34.770,  that wanted to get laid?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
498,00:11:37.150,00:11:38.230,  >> [ exhales deeply ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
499,00:11:38.250,00:11:39.700,"  well, i'm glad we saved all",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
500,00:11:39.720,00:11:40.900,"  those horses, but i'm almost",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
501,00:11:40.920,00:11:42.099,  sorry we're finished.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
502,00:11:42.120,00:11:43.070,"  >> beth: yes, it's satisfying",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
503,00:11:43.090,00:11:43.970,  work.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
504,00:11:43.990,00:11:45.170,"  >> unh-unh-unh, it's, uh ",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
505,00:11:45.190,00:11:46.470,  it's more than the work.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
506,00:11:46.490,00:11:48.800,  i love being in that sterilized,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
507,00:11:48.820,00:11:50.970,"  room, sealed off from the world.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
508,00:11:50.990,00:11:51.730,  it's the only time i can really,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
509,00:11:51.750,00:11:53.270,  think...and feel.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
510,00:11:53.290,00:11:54.300,  [ slow music plays ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
511,00:11:54.320,00:11:55.800,"  >> beth: hmm, uh, what are you",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
512,00:11:55.820,00:11:56.830,  doing?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
513,00:11:56.850,00:11:58.000,  >> i'm playing african dream,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
514,00:11:58.020,00:11:59.100,  pop.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
515,00:11:59.120,00:12:00.370,  what do  youdo after a long,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
516,00:12:00.390,00:12:00.900,  night?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
517,00:12:00.920,00:12:02.430,  [ click ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
518,00:12:02.450,00:12:04.130,"  >> beth: oh, ha, um, hey, i b",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
519,00:12:04.150,00:12:05.270,  i'd better get going.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
520,00:12:05.290,00:12:06.730,"  um, jerry's been texting some",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
521,00:12:06.750,00:12:07.670,  pretty high-maintenance stuff.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
522,00:12:07.690,00:12:08.470,  >> beth...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
523,00:12:08.490,00:12:09.430,"  >> beth: what is it, davin?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
524,00:12:09.450,00:12:11.600,"  >> just once, i'd like to",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
525,00:12:11.620,00:12:12.600,  know ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
526,00:12:12.620,00:12:13.930,  [ sneezes ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
527,00:12:13.950,00:12:15.670,  ...w-w-what it was like to give,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
528,00:12:15.690,00:12:16.830,  your son a bath.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
529,00:12:16.850,00:12:18.230,  >> beth: what?!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
530,00:12:18.250,00:12:20.800,  >> what does morty's skin smell,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
531,00:12:20.820,00:12:21.770,  like?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
532,00:12:21.790,00:12:23.069,  how soft...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
533,00:12:23.090,00:12:24.330,  [ grunts ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
534,00:12:24.350,00:12:26.770,  how soft are his privates?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
535,00:12:26.790,00:12:28.370,"  >> beth: let go of me, davin!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
536,00:12:29.950,00:12:31.170,  [ glass shatters ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
537,00:12:31.190,00:12:34.630,  >> [ roars ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
538,00:12:34.650,00:12:36.829,  take me to morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
539,00:12:36.850,00:12:37.830,  >> jerry: [ grunts ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
540,00:12:37.850,00:12:39.600,  >> you're not morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
541,00:12:39.620,00:12:40.830,  >> jerry: no.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
542,00:12:40.850,00:12:43.770,"  i'm mr. crowbar, and this is",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
543,00:12:43.790,00:12:45.870,"  my friend, who is also a",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
544,00:12:45.890,00:12:47.170,  crowbar.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
545,00:12:47.190,00:12:49.070,  >> that's...stupid.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
546,00:12:49.090,00:12:51.670,  >> jerry: [ grunting ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
547,00:12:51.690,00:12:53.100,  yeah?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
548,00:12:53.120,00:12:54.000,"  well, look where being smart got",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
549,00:12:54.020,00:12:54.829,  you.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
550,00:12:54.850,00:12:56.630,  >> beth: jerry! thank god!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
551,00:12:56.650,00:12:57.930,  >> jerry: god?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
552,00:12:57.950,00:12:59.900,  god's turning people into insect,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
553,00:12:59.920,00:13:01.300,"  monsters, beth.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
554,00:13:01.320,00:13:02.630,  i'm the one beating them to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
555,00:13:02.650,00:13:03.170,  death.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
556,00:13:03.190,00:13:04.200,  thank me.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
557,00:13:04.220,00:13:05.600,"  >> beth: thank you, jerry.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
558,00:13:05.620,00:13:08.700,  thank you.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
559,00:13:11.320,00:13:12.730,  >> rick: take a good look down,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
560,00:13:12.750,00:13:13.930,"  there, morty, and soak it in,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
561,00:13:13.950,00:13:15.130,"  because, you know, once i pull",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
562,00:13:15.150,00:13:15.970,"  this lever, it's all back to",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
563,00:13:15.990,00:13:16.870,  normal.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
564,00:13:16.890,00:13:18.069,  >> morty: just do it already.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
565,00:13:18.090,00:13:19.130,"  >> rick: well, technically,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
566,00:13:19.150,00:13:20.230,"  morty, there's no rush.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
567,00:13:20.250,00:13:21.230,"  i mean, you know, o-once it's",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
568,00:13:21.250,00:13:22.000,"  fixed, it's done.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
569,00:13:22.020,00:13:22.970,  it's fixed.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
570,00:13:22.990,00:13:24.330,"  you know, we could  we could",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
571,00:13:24.350,00:13:25.900,  just enjoy it for a little bit.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
572,00:13:25.920,00:13:26.730,"  i mean, l-l-l-look at how crazy",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
573,00:13:26.750,00:13:27.430,  it is.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
574,00:13:27.450,00:13:28.770,"  i mean, morty, w-w-when's the",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
575,00:13:28.790,00:13:29.770,  next time you're gonna see,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
576,00:13:29.790,00:13:30.870,  something like this?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
577,00:13:30.890,00:13:31.970,"  i mean, soak it in, you know?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
578,00:13:31.990,00:13:32.830,  it's  it's pretty neat.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
579,00:13:32.850,00:13:33.770,  it's pretty interesting.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
580,00:13:33.790,00:13:34.630,"  >> morty: that's it, rick!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
581,00:13:34.650,00:13:35.069,  i'm pulling the lever.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
582,00:13:35.090,00:13:36.200,  [ grunts ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
583,00:13:42.920,00:13:43.470,"  >> rick: w-what do we have here,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
584,00:13:43.490,00:13:44.200,  morty?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
585,00:13:44.220,00:13:45.100,  looks like i was right and you,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
586,00:13:45.120,00:13:46.030,"  were wrong, huh?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
587,00:13:46.050,00:13:47.100,  i-i-i-i-i-i-i bet you feel,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
588,00:13:47.120,00:13:47.930,"  pretty stupid right about now,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
589,00:13:47.950,00:13:48.800,  huh?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
590,00:13:48.820,00:13:50.000,  i-i-i bet you feel like the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
591,00:13:50.020,00:13:51.199,  world's smallest man that you,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
592,00:13:51.220,00:13:52.230,  were doubting me about this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
593,00:13:52.250,00:13:53.370,"  whole thing, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
594,00:13:53.390,00:13:54.470,"  >> morty: oh, rick, something's",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
595,00:13:54.490,00:13:55.070,  not right.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
596,00:13:55.090,00:13:55.900,  >> rick: [ sighs ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
597,00:13:55.920,00:13:56.870,"  yeah, you.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
598,00:13:56.890,00:13:57.900,  you're not right  ever.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
599,00:13:57.920,00:13:58.800,"  >> morty: no, no!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
600,00:13:58.820,00:14:00.000,"  look, you idiot!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
601,00:14:00.020,00:14:01.329,  [ all screaming ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
602,00:14:12.050,00:14:14.100,  [ all speaking native language ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
603,00:14:14.120,00:14:17.830,  [ all groaning ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
604,00:14:20.650,00:14:24.370,  [ all ululating ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
605,00:14:24.390,00:14:25.100,"  >> rick: bet you're loving this,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
606,00:14:25.120,00:14:26.170,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
607,00:14:26.190,00:14:27.430,  this must be the best day of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
608,00:14:27.450,00:14:28.200,  your life.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
609,00:14:28.220,00:14:29.530,  you get to be the mayor of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
610,00:14:29.550,00:14:30.870,  i told you town.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
611,00:14:30.890,00:14:32.030,  [ slurps ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
612,00:14:32.050,00:14:32.930,  you're welcome.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
613,00:14:32.950,00:14:33.700,  [ slurps ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
614,00:14:42.890,00:14:43.830,  >> jerry: hold on.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
615,00:14:43.850,00:14:44.970,  >> beth: [ whimpers ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
616,00:14:44.990,00:14:47.570,"  [ engine revs, tires squeal ]",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
617,00:15:02.090,00:15:03.500,  [ gun cocks ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
618,00:15:03.520,00:15:04.770,  >> jerry: i wish that shotgun,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
619,00:15:04.790,00:15:05.870,  was my penis.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
620,00:15:05.890,00:15:07.170,"  >> beth: if it were, you could",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
621,00:15:07.190,00:15:08.870,  call me ernest hemingway.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
622,00:15:08.890,00:15:10.230,"  >> jerry: i don't get it, and i",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
623,00:15:10.250,00:15:11.230,  don't need to.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
624,00:15:11.250,00:15:12.300,  [ both moaning ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
625,00:15:12.320,00:15:14.230,  >> summer: mom! dad!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
626,00:15:14.250,00:15:16.800,  >> both: summer!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
627,00:15:16.820,00:15:18.070,  >> beth: [ sighs ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
628,00:15:18.090,00:15:19.270,  >> jerry: where's morty?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
629,00:15:19.290,00:15:20.770,  >> summer: i don't know.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
630,00:15:20.790,00:15:21.800,  do you think grandpa rick had,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
631,00:15:21.820,00:15:22.830,  something to do with this?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
632,00:15:22.850,00:15:23.770,  >> jerry: it's not fair to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
633,00:15:23.790,00:15:24.630,"  assume that, summer.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
634,00:15:24.650,00:15:25.270,"  >> beth: oh, not fair?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
635,00:15:25.290,00:15:26.800,  give me a break.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
636,00:15:26.820,00:15:28.700,"  he is a selfish, irresponsible",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
637,00:15:28.720,00:15:30.370,"  ass, and he left my mother.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
638,00:15:30.390,00:15:32.970,  a real man stands by his woman.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
639,00:15:32.990,00:15:37.870,  [ both moaning ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
640,00:15:37.890,00:15:39.170,  >> summer: tchoo.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
641,00:15:39.190,00:15:40.930,  tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. tchoo-tchoo.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
642,00:15:40.950,00:15:42.100,"  >> rick: boy, morty, i really",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
643,00:15:42.120,00:15:42.970,"  cronenberged the world up,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
644,00:15:42.990,00:15:43.830,  didn't i?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
645,00:15:43.850,00:15:45.070,  we got a whole planet of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
646,00:15:45.090,00:15:46.070,  cronenbergs walking around down,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
647,00:15:46.090,00:15:47.070,"  there, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
648,00:15:47.090,00:15:48.100,  a-at least they're not in love,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
649,00:15:48.120,00:15:49.200,"  with you anymore, though.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
650,00:15:49.220,00:15:50.000,  that's a huge step in the right,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
651,00:15:50.020,00:15:50.800,  direction.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
652,00:15:50.820,00:15:51.730,"  >> morty: oh, my god!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
653,00:15:51.750,00:15:52.970,  it's a living nightmare!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
654,00:15:52.990,00:15:54.100,  how could you be so,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
655,00:15:54.120,00:15:55.370,"  irresponsible, rick?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
656,00:15:55.390,00:15:57.030,  >> rick: me irresponsible?!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
657,00:15:57.050,00:15:58.270,  you  all i wanted you to do,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
658,00:15:58.290,00:15:59.099,"  was hand me a screwdriver,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
659,00:15:59.120,00:16:00.030,  morty!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
660,00:16:00.050,00:16:01.300,  you're the one who wanted to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
661,00:16:01.320,00:16:02.870,  be  wanted me to buckle down,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
662,00:16:02.890,00:16:05.000,  and make you up a...roofie-juice,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
663,00:16:05.020,00:16:06.829,  serum so you could roofie that,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
664,00:16:06.850,00:16:08.330,  poor girl at your school.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
665,00:16:08.350,00:16:10.170,"  i mean, g w-w-w-w-w w",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
666,00:16:10.190,00:16:11.370,"  are you kidding me, morty?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
667,00:16:11.390,00:16:12.330,  you're gonna try to take the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
668,00:16:12.350,00:16:13.400,  high road on this one?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
669,00:16:13.420,00:16:14.000,"  y-y-y-y-you're a little creep,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
670,00:16:14.020,00:16:14.829,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
671,00:16:14.850,00:16:15.830,  y-you're a  you're ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
672,00:16:15.850,00:16:16.800,  you're  you're just a little,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
673,00:16:16.820,00:16:17.770,  creepy...creep person.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
674,00:16:17.790,00:16:18.829,"  >> morty: all right, fine.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
675,00:16:18.850,00:16:19.970,  i should have just listened to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
676,00:16:19.990,00:16:20.670,  you when you refused to make the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
677,00:16:20.690,00:16:21.430,  serum.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
678,00:16:21.450,00:16:22.700,  i'm willing to accept my part of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
679,00:16:22.720,00:16:23.730,"  the blame for this, rick.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
680,00:16:23.750,00:16:24.570,  but i'll tell you something ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
681,00:16:24.590,00:16:25.330,  you know what?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
682,00:16:25.350,00:16:26.500,  you got to accept your part of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
683,00:16:26.520,00:16:27.300,  the blame!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
684,00:16:27.320,00:16:28.430,  i'm not the one who fouled up,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
685,00:16:28.450,00:16:29.230,  the serum!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
686,00:16:29.250,00:16:30.470,  i'm not the one who  who ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
687,00:16:30.490,00:16:31.930,"  who  who haphazardly, you",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
688,00:16:31.950,00:16:33.270,"  know, mixed a bunch of nonsense",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
689,00:16:33.290,00:16:34.470,  together and created a bunch of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
690,00:16:34.490,00:16:35.230,  cronenbergs!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
691,00:16:35.250,00:16:36.300,"  you got to fix this, rick!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
692,00:16:36.320,00:16:36.930,"  >> morty: all right, all right,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
693,00:16:36.950,00:16:37.830,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
694,00:16:37.850,00:16:38.900,"  you know, w-w-w-we are in a",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
695,00:16:38.920,00:16:40.270,"  pretty deep hole, here, but i do",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
696,00:16:40.290,00:16:41.800,  have one emergency solution that,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
697,00:16:41.820,00:16:43.030,  i can use that'll kind of put,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
698,00:16:43.050,00:16:44.100,"  everything back to normal,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
699,00:16:44.120,00:16:45.300,  relatively speaking.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
700,00:16:45.320,00:16:46.800,"  here, morty, put this on while i",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
701,00:16:46.820,00:16:48.600,  do a little bit of scouting.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
702,00:16:51.220,00:16:53.370,  [ birds chirping ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
703,00:17:01.120,00:17:02.900,"  >> morty: wow, rick, i got to",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
704,00:17:02.920,00:17:04.170,  say  you really pulled a,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
705,00:17:04.190,00:17:05.070,  rabbit out of your hat this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
706,00:17:05.089,00:17:06.030,  time.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
707,00:17:06.050,00:17:07.369,"  i mean, i-i really thought that",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
708,00:17:07.390,00:17:08.930,  the whole place was gonna be,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
709,00:17:08.950,00:17:10.300,"  messed up for good, but here,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
710,00:17:10.319,00:17:11.800,  you did it  y-y-you  you ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
711,00:17:11.819,00:17:13.099,  you figured out that crazy,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
712,00:17:13.120,00:17:14.030,"  solution, like you always do.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
713,00:17:14.050,00:17:14.869,  whoo!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
714,00:17:14.890,00:17:15.970,  that's some great luck.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
715,00:17:15.990,00:17:17.230,"  >> rick: come on, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
716,00:17:17.250,00:17:18.430,  luck had nothing to do with it.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
717,00:17:18.450,00:17:19.170,  i'm great.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
718,00:17:19.190,00:17:21.770,  that's the real reason.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
719,00:17:21.790,00:17:22.700,"  now, morty, what do you say,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
720,00:17:22.720,00:17:23.430,  buddy?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
721,00:17:23.450,00:17:25.000,  will you hand me a screwdriver,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
722,00:17:25.020,00:17:26.069,  so i can finish my ionic dis,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
723,00:17:26.089,00:17:27.069,  defibulizer?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
724,00:17:27.089,00:17:28.230,"  >> morty: sure thing, rick.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
725,00:17:28.250,00:17:29.370,  here's a screwdriver.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
726,00:17:29.390,00:17:30.730,"  >> rick: all right, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
727,00:17:30.750,00:17:31.970,  thank you very much.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
728,00:17:31.990,00:17:34.100,  we got one screw turn...and two,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
729,00:17:34.120,00:17:35.870,  screw turns...and...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
730,00:17:40.950,00:17:42.430,"  all right, morty, here we are.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
731,00:17:42.450,00:17:43.770,"  >> morty: oh, my god, rick!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
732,00:17:43.790,00:17:44.870,  is that us?!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
733,00:17:44.890,00:17:45.970,  w-w-w-we're dead!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
734,00:17:45.990,00:17:46.800,"  what is going on, rick?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
735,00:17:46.820,00:17:47.730,  i'm freaking out!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
736,00:17:47.750,00:17:48.800,"  >> rick: calm down, morty!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
737,00:17:48.820,00:17:49.929,"  look at me! calm down, morty!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
738,00:17:49.950,00:17:50.670,"  >> morty: no, i can't deal with",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
739,00:17:50.690,00:17:51.400,  this!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
740,00:17:51.420,00:17:52.470,"  >> rick: calm yourself, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
741,00:17:52.490,00:17:53.430,  >> morty: i can't deal with,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
742,00:17:53.450,00:17:54.070,"  this, rick!",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
743,00:17:54.090,00:17:55.129,"  >> rick: calm down, morty.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
744,00:17:55.150,00:17:56.200,  >> morty: this can't be real!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
745,00:17:56.220,00:17:56.900,"  >> rick: you got to calm down,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
746,00:17:56.920,00:17:57.830,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
747,00:17:57.850,00:17:58.429,  >> morty: w-w-w-w-we're ripped,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
748,00:17:58.450,00:17:59.170,  apart!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
749,00:17:59.190,00:17:59.730,  >> rick: shut up and listen to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
750,00:17:59.750,00:18:00.870,  me!,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
751,00:18:00.890,00:18:02.200,  it's fine. everything is fine.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
752,00:18:02.220,00:18:03.400,  there's an infinite number of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
753,00:18:03.420,00:18:04.900,"  realities, morty, and in a few",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
754,00:18:04.920,00:18:06.070,"  dozen of those, i got lucky and",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
755,00:18:06.090,00:18:06.830,  turned everything back to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
756,00:18:06.850,00:18:07.800,  normal.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
757,00:18:07.820,00:18:08.970,  i just had to find one of those,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
758,00:18:08.990,00:18:10.170,  realities in which we also,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
759,00:18:10.190,00:18:11.000,  happen to both die around this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
760,00:18:11.020,00:18:11.930,  time.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
761,00:18:11.950,00:18:13.300,  now we can just slip into the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
762,00:18:13.320,00:18:14.870,  place of our dead selves in this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
763,00:18:14.890,00:18:15.830,  reality and everything will be,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
764,00:18:15.850,00:18:16.700,  fine.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
765,00:18:16.720,00:18:17.500,"  we're not skipping a beat,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
766,00:18:17.520,00:18:18.270,  morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
767,00:18:18.290,00:18:19.270,"  now, help me with these bodies.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
768,00:18:19.290,00:18:20.330,  >> morty: this is insane.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
769,00:18:20.350,00:18:21.430,"  >> rick: look, morty, i'll grab",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
770,00:18:21.450,00:18:22.770,"  myself, you grab yourself, okay?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
771,00:18:22.790,00:18:23.970,"  i mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
772,00:18:23.990,00:18:25.030,"  me  i mean, that seems like a",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
773,00:18:25.050,00:18:26.129,  fair way to divvy it up.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
774,00:18:26.150,00:18:27.170,"  >> morty: rick, what about the",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
775,00:18:27.190,00:18:28.270,  reality we left behind?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
776,00:18:28.290,00:18:29.370,  >> rick: what about the reality,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
777,00:18:29.390,00:18:30.070,"  where hitler cured cancer,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
778,00:18:30.090,00:18:31.000,  morty?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
779,00:18:31.020,00:18:31.730,  the answer is don't think about,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
780,00:18:31.750,00:18:32.470,  it.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
781,00:18:32.490,00:18:33.670,  it's not like we can do this,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
782,00:18:33.690,00:18:34.700,"  every week, anyways.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
783,00:18:34.720,00:18:35.570,  we get three or four more of,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
784,00:18:35.590,00:18:36.370,"  these, tops.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
785,00:18:36.390,00:18:37.400,"  now, pick up your dead self and",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
786,00:18:37.420,00:18:37.930,  come on.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
787,00:18:37.950,00:18:39.230,  haste makes waste.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
788,00:18:39.250,00:18:40.430,  i-i-i don't suppose you've,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
789,00:18:40.450,00:18:41.830,"  considered this detail, but",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
790,00:18:41.850,00:18:43.200,"  obviously, if i hadn't screwed",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
791,00:18:43.220,00:18:44.800,"  up as much as i did, we'd be",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
792,00:18:44.820,00:18:46.000,"  these guys right now, so, again,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
793,00:18:46.020,00:18:47.530,  you're welcome.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
794,00:18:51.250,00:18:54.630,  >> ♪ ♪  look on down from the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
795,00:18:54.650,00:18:58.170,  bridge ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
796,00:18:58.190,00:19:03.470,  ♪ ♪  there's still fountains down,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
797,00:19:03.490,00:19:08.270,  there ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
798,00:19:08.290,00:19:14.100,  ♪ ♪  look on down from the bridge ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
799,00:19:14.120,00:19:24.030,  ♪ ♪  it's still raining up here ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
800,00:19:24.050,00:19:28.200,  ♪ ♪  everybody seems so far away,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
801,00:19:28.220,00:19:31.900,  from me ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
802,00:19:31.920,00:19:36.700,  ♪ ♪  everybody just wants to be,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
803,00:19:36.720,00:19:39.770,  free ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
804,00:19:39.790,00:19:45.800,  ♪ ♪  look away from the sky ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
805,00:19:45.820,00:19:49.700,  ♪ ♪  it's no different when you're,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
806,00:19:49.720,00:19:51.830,  leaving home ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
807,00:19:54.590,00:19:59.070,  ♪ ♪  i can't be the same thing to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
808,00:19:59.090,00:20:01.270,  you now ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
809,00:20:01.290,00:20:05.200,  ♪ ♪  i'm just gone ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
810,00:20:05.220,00:20:11.130,  ♪ ♪  just gone ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
811,00:20:11.150,00:20:19.130,  ♪ ♪  how could i say goodbye? ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
812,00:20:19.150,00:20:22.670,  ♪ ♪  how could i say goodbye? ♪ ♪ ,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
813,00:20:23.320,00:20:25.230,"  >> summer: you know, the thing",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
814,00:20:25.250,00:20:26.930,  about a shark...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
815,00:20:26.950,00:20:29.530,  he's got lifeless eyes...,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
816,00:20:29.550,00:20:31.530,"  black eyes, like a doll's eyes.",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
817,00:20:31.550,00:20:33.230,"  when he comes at ya, he doesn't",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
818,00:20:33.250,00:20:34.930,  seem to be living until he bites,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
819,00:20:34.950,00:20:36.400,"  ya, and then the  the blood,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
820,00:20:36.420,00:20:37.870,"  and the red, and the water...",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
821,00:20:37.890,00:20:39.130,  >> jerry: [ sighs ],S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
822,00:20:39.150,00:20:40.030,  you ever wonder what happened to,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
823,00:20:40.050,00:20:41.169,  rick and morty?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
824,00:20:41.190,00:20:42.800,  >> beth: sometimes.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
825,00:20:42.820,00:20:44.300,"  but, i'm ashamed to admit, now",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
826,00:20:44.320,00:20:46.600,"  that they're gone, i'm finally",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
827,00:20:46.620,00:20:49.370,  happy.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
828,00:20:49.390,00:20:50.500,"  >> rick: here we are,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
829,00:20:50.520,00:20:52.000,  cronenberg morty  a reality,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
830,00:20:52.020,00:20:53.200,  where everyone in the world got,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
831,00:20:53.220,00:20:54.230,  genetically cronenberged.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
832,00:20:54.250,00:20:55.170,"  we'll fit right in,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
833,00:20:55.190,00:20:56.270,  cronenberg morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
834,00:20:56.290,00:20:57.270,  it'll be like we never even left,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
835,00:20:57.290,00:20:58.330,  cronenberg world.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
836,00:20:58.350,00:20:59.730,"  >> morty: yeah, cronenberg rick,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
837,00:20:59.750,00:21:00.830,"  but, you know, i'm gonna miss",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
838,00:21:00.850,00:21:01.930,"  cronenberg world, because",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
839,00:21:01.950,00:21:02.970,  everyone was cronenberged all,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
840,00:21:02.990,00:21:03.900,  along like us from the,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
841,00:21:03.920,00:21:04.900,"  beginning, you know?",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
842,00:21:04.920,00:21:06.130,"  i mean, i-i wish we hadn't",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
843,00:21:06.150,00:21:07.400,  genetically ruined cronenberg,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
844,00:21:07.420,00:21:08.900,"  world beyond repair like we did,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
845,00:21:08.920,00:21:10.200,"  you know, and turned everyone",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
846,00:21:10.220,00:21:11.270,"  into regular, normal people just",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
847,00:21:11.290,00:21:12.330,  walking around.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
848,00:21:12.350,00:21:13.630,  >> rick: don't you worry about,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
849,00:21:13.650,00:21:14.570,"  that sort of thing,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
850,00:21:14.590,00:21:15.530,  cronenberg morty.,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
851,00:21:15.550,00:21:16.600,"  let's go make ourselves at home,",S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
852,00:21:16.620,00:21:20.630,  huh?,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
9999,00:00:00.500,00:00:02.000,www.tvsubtitles.net,S01,E06,Rick Potion 9
1,00:00:01.293,00:00:03.753,"rick: look, i'm not paying 70 [burps] smidgens",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
2,00:00:03.837,00:00:05.463,for a [burps] broken defraculator.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
3,00:00:05.547,00:00:08.675,that is multiphase quantum resonator.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
4,00:00:08.759,00:00:10.510,"- well, does it defraculate? - fuck no.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
5,00:00:10.594,00:00:12.512,then -- then -- then it's a broken defraculator.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
6,00:00:12.596,00:00:14.514,like you would even know dick about fraculation!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
7,00:00:14.598,00:00:16.224,"your planet just got cellphones,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
8,00:00:16.308,00:00:18.309,and the coverage still sucks!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
9,00:00:18.394,00:00:20.436,"rick: yeah, yeah, and your species eat sulfur.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
10,00:00:20.521,00:00:22.271,"so, let's say 60 smidgens.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
11,00:00:22.356,00:00:23.981,i tell you what -- i'll do you a favor.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
12,00:00:24.066,00:00:25.566,i'll throw in a fart.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
13,00:00:25.651,00:00:27.568,"hey, uh, rick, um, you think",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
14,00:00:27.653,00:00:29.404,"maybe i could get something from this place,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
15,00:00:29.488,00:00:31.239,"like a souvenir, like, just to have --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
16,00:00:31.323,00:00:32.990,"like, something cool, you know?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
17,00:00:33.075,00:00:34.534,"not here, morty. we'll stop somewhere else.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
18,00:00:34.618,00:00:36.828,"because, you know, there's always another pawn shop.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
19,00:00:36.912,00:00:38.830,"morty: oh, okay. i just, um --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
20,00:00:38.914,00:00:40.498,"you know, i thought that robot over there",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
21,00:00:40.582,00:00:42.333,"looked pretty cool, you know?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
22,00:00:42.418,00:00:44.794,"oh, it looks cool, huh? that's why you want it?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
23,00:00:44.878,00:00:46.421,"yeah! you know, i mean...",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
24,00:00:46.505,00:00:48.131,"it's different from the stuff on earth,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
25,00:00:48.215,00:00:50.133,"and, you know, you take me to all these crazy places",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
26,00:00:50.217,00:00:51.676,"across the galaxy,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
27,00:00:51.760,00:00:53.678,"and, you know, i don't really have anything to --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
28,00:00:53.762,00:00:55.638,to remember all those trips by.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
29,00:00:55.723,00:00:57.640,"it'd be kind of cool, like a souvenir.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
30,00:00:57.725,00:00:59.392,"you know, like, what if you passed away",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
31,00:00:59.476,00:01:00.768,or died or something?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
32,00:01:00.853,00:01:02.562,i wouldn't even have anything to remember,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
33,00:01:02.646,00:01:04.355,"all the cool stuff we did, you know?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
34,00:01:04.440,00:01:06.357,"okay. 60 [burps] for the resonator,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
35,00:01:06.442,00:01:09.110,and my grandson wants the sex robot.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
36,00:01:41.101,00:01:43.102,[ rhythmic creaking ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
37,00:01:47.441,00:01:49.859,"so, we're just going to pretend this isn't happening?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
38,00:01:49.943,00:01:51.944,i'm not saying that's a bad idea -- just asking.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
39,00:01:52.029,00:01:53.780,"rick, why would you let morty",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
40,00:01:53.864,00:01:55.907,bring that thing into our house?!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
41,00:01:55.991,00:01:57.366,i don't know. what do you want from me?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
42,00:01:57.451,00:01:59.744,he thi-- he thou-- he thought it looked cool.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
43,00:01:59.828,00:02:00.661,you know what i mean?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
44,00:02:00.746,00:02:01.913,whew!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
45,00:02:01.997,00:02:05.625,[ gulping ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
46,00:02:05.709,00:02:07.418,ahh. all right.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
47,00:02:07.503,00:02:10.004,back to -- back to -- b-back upstairs.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
48,00:02:10.088,00:02:11.881,"[ footsteps depart, door closes in distance ]",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
49,00:02:11.965,00:02:13.841,[ rhythmic creaking ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
50,00:02:13.926,00:02:15.301,"well, i'm intervening.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
51,00:02:15.385,00:02:16.969,intervening with puberty?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
52,00:02:17.054,00:02:19.430,"you'll turn him into ralph fiennes in ""red dragon.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
53,00:02:19.515,00:02:22.558,he's at that age. let's just be proud of him.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
54,00:02:22.643,00:02:25.102,jesus. did i really set the bar that low?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
55,00:02:25.187,00:02:26.103,[ footsteps approach ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
56,00:02:26.188,00:02:28.397,"um, rick, could you come with me, please --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
57,00:02:28.482,00:02:29.607,q-quickly?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
58,00:02:29.691,00:02:33.611,"okay, now if we hear squeaking, we intervene.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
59,00:02:33.695,00:02:35.279,[ warbling ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
60,00:02:35.364,00:02:37.114,"where's the sex robot, morty?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
61,00:02:37.199,00:02:39.325,"that is gwendolyn -- l-i mean, the robot!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
62,00:02:39.409,00:02:41.828,"she started beeping, transformed and tried to fly away!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
63,00:02:41.912,00:02:43.496,strange -- that's usually the man's job.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
64,00:02:43.580,00:02:45.206,"you know what i'm talking about, morty?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
65,00:02:45.290,00:02:47.083,wubba-lubba-dub-dub! [ laughs ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
66,00:02:47.167,00:02:48.584,morty! [laughs],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
67,00:02:48.669,00:02:50.253,"that's my catchphrase, remember?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
68,00:02:50.337,00:02:52.922,remember -- remember how i -- how i cemented that catchphrase?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
69,00:02:53.006,00:02:54.340,"all right. all right, seriously, though,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
70,00:02:54.424,00:02:55.550,let me grab this thing.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
71,00:02:55.634,00:02:57.593,[ grunts ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
72,00:02:57.678,00:02:59.470,"come on, you... rascal.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
73,00:02:59.555,00:03:02.557,"- okay, unacceptable! oh. - what is going on?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
74,00:03:02.641,00:03:04.392,- [ giggles ] - all right. uh-oh.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
75,00:03:04.476,00:03:06.352,"""uh-oh""? what is that?!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
76,00:03:06.436,00:03:08.271,hmm. i think morty's robot was designed,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
77,00:03:08.355,00:03:10.731,for more than long weekends.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
78,00:03:12.526,00:03:14.527,"genetic compiler, incubation chamber.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
79,00:03:14.611,00:03:16.445,"yep. this here's some kind of baby maker,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
80,00:03:16.530,00:03:18.155,"and that there's half morty, half --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
81,00:03:18.240,00:03:20.157,[burps] who -- who knows wh-what?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
82,00:03:20.242,00:03:22.243,"it's my bad, guys. i'll -- i'll take care of it.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
83,00:03:22.327,00:03:23.870,"- grandpa rick, no, no! - whoa, whoa, whoa!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
84,00:03:23.954,00:03:25.538,what do you think you're doing?!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
85,00:03:25.622,00:03:27.331,"hey, listen -- you guys quarantined the house",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
86,00:03:27.416,00:03:29.083,when summer brought olives back from mexico.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
87,00:03:29.167,00:03:31.252,"i mean, this thing could grow to the size of delaware.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
88,00:03:31.336,00:03:33.671,"i mean, it might eat brains and exhale space aids.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
89,00:03:33.755,00:03:35.506,we gotta be careful.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
90,00:03:35.591,00:03:37.508,"i lost the chance to be careful, rick.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
91,00:03:37.593,00:03:38.843,i'm a father now!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
92,00:03:38.927,00:03:40.720,"you know, it's time for me to be responsible.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
93,00:03:40.804,00:03:42.555,isn't that right... - don't name it.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
94,00:03:42.639,00:03:44.557,"- ...morty jr.? - oh, crap. he named it.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
95,00:03:44.641,00:03:46.559,"well, dad, it's a living thing, and it's half human.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
96,00:03:46.643,00:03:49.270,"and it was born on american soil, which entitles it to --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
97,00:03:49.354,00:03:51.272,"jerry, majoring in civics was your mistake.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
98,00:03:51.356,00:03:52.690,don't punish us for it.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
99,00:03:52.774,00:03:54.233,[ groans ] fine.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
100,00:03:54.318,00:03:57.028,i'm gonna take this thing to my workshop and investigate.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
101,00:03:57.112,00:03:59.030,do not let that thing out of your sight.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
102,00:03:59.114,00:04:02.033,"lt looks harmless now, but it could grow dangerous.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
103,00:04:02.117,00:04:04.035,like the insane clown posse.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
104,00:04:04.119,00:04:05.995,"yeah. good one, jerry.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
105,00:04:06.079,00:04:08.623,2003 just called. lt wants its easy target back.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
106,00:04:08.707,00:04:10.791,ohh. he's like a little me!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
107,00:04:10.876,00:04:13.878,y-you don't think he'll turn into a monster... do you?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
108,00:04:13.962,00:04:15.504,they always do.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
109,00:04:15.589,00:04:17.840,"hey, uh, 1995 called!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
110,00:04:17.925,00:04:19.342,"they want their ""certain year called",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
111,00:04:19.426,00:04:21.260,"wanting its 'blank' back"" formula back!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
112,00:04:21.345,00:04:23.304,"why, jerry? why expend the effort?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
113,00:04:23.388,00:04:25.556,"life is effort, and i'll stop when i die!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
114,00:04:27.809,00:04:29.602,- out. - whatcha doin'?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
115,00:04:29.686,00:04:31.395,"well, i can't solve the problem my way,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
116,00:04:31.480,00:04:33.397,thanks to your family's primitive biological hang-ups.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
117,00:04:33.482,00:04:35.733,gross. i might have just touched one of morty's loads.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
118,00:04:35.817,00:04:38.027,but maybe i can find suitable parents for morty jr.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
119,00:04:38.111,00:04:41.864,"on this robot's home world, which is...",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
120,00:04:41.949,00:04:43.866,gazorpazorp in the andromeda system.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
121,00:04:43.951,00:04:46.869,"scoot, summer. - don't you need a new companion",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
122,00:04:46.954,00:04:48.871,now that morty's in the family way?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
123,00:04:48.956,00:04:51.123,"i don't do adventures with chicks, summer.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
124,00:04:51.208,00:04:53.125,"oh, right -- because there's something about having a wiener",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
125,00:04:53.210,00:04:55.628,that would make me better at walking through a hole?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
126,00:04:55.712,00:04:58.756,"- aaaaaaaaaaaaah! - oh, crap.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
127,00:04:58.840,00:05:00.716,grandpa rick! ugh!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
128,00:05:00.801,00:05:03.219,help! help! aah! aah!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
129,00:05:03.303,00:05:04.929,[ roars ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
130,00:05:05.013,00:05:07.807,aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
131,00:05:07.891,00:05:09.475,- grandpa rick! - still think it's a good idea,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
132,00:05:09.559,00:05:11.060,to go through holes without a wiener?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
133,00:05:11.144,00:05:13.562,"- i want to go home. - yeah, no duh.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
134,00:05:13.647,00:05:15.022,ugh!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
135,00:05:15.107,00:05:16.273,[ gasps ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
136,00:05:16.358,00:05:17.733,[ all snarling ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
137,00:05:17.818,00:05:19.735,great. now i have to take over a whole planet,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
138,00:05:19.820,00:05:22.113,because of your stupid boobs.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
139,00:05:22.197,00:05:24.949,"- you're doing great, morty. - really? you think?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
140,00:05:25.033,00:05:26.784,"i mean, i'm not doing much of anything.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
141,00:05:26.868,00:05:28.119,what do i do if it cries?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
142,00:05:28.203,00:05:30.329,then you put it down and let it cry itself out.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
143,00:05:30.414,00:05:32.915,"yeah, right. we tried that technique on summer,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
144,00:05:33.000,00:05:35.126,"and she's gonna end up stripping, isn't she?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
145,00:05:35.210,00:05:36.627,"yes, she is.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
146,00:05:36.712,00:05:38.629,she's gonna strip for attention,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
147,00:05:38.714,00:05:40.631,because she was denied it.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
148,00:05:40.716,00:05:43.050,stop filling it with your own insecurity.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
149,00:05:43.135,00:05:45.219,you're gonna turn it into morty --,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
150,00:05:45.303,00:05:47.430,"uh, mm -- more -- more -- more -- more of you.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
151,00:05:47.514,00:05:49.265,"well, we can't all be raised like reptiles",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
152,00:05:49.349,00:05:51.058,by a mentally ill scientist.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
153,00:05:51.143,00:05:52.893,- [ vomits ] - what the -- aah! aah!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
154,00:05:52.978,00:05:54.812,[ crying ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
155,00:05:54.896,00:05:57.231,listen to me. i am not rewarding this behavior.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
156,00:05:57.315,00:05:58.899,"knock it off, both of you!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
157,00:05:58.984,00:06:00.735,g-give me him! give me my baby!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
158,00:06:00.819,00:06:02.528,you're both nuts!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
159,00:06:02.612,00:06:05.072,i'm gonna raise morty jr. myself!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
160,00:06:05.157,00:06:07.742,♪ where's your hands? there's your hands ♪,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
161,00:06:07.826,00:06:10.369,♪ and that's how we play handy hands ♪,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
162,00:06:10.454,00:06:11.704,[ giggles ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
163,00:06:11.788,00:06:13.914,"oh, you are going to ruin that kid, morty.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
164,00:06:13.999,00:06:15.833,at least we can agree on that.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
165,00:06:15.917,00:06:17.960,[ all snarling ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
166,00:06:20.630,00:06:23.424,[ growling ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
167,00:06:23.508,00:06:25.968,"thanks, dum-dum. - [ roars ]",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
168,00:06:26.053,00:06:28.554,"i said, ""thanks, dum-dum."" go get more.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
169,00:06:28.638,00:06:30.181,"summer, put your burqa on!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
170,00:06:30.265,00:06:32.183,"that burqa is a human-rights violation,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
171,00:06:32.267,00:06:34.810,and i spent a lot on this top.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
172,00:06:34.895,00:06:36.645,"look, i'm trying to repair a p-portal gun",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
173,00:06:36.730,00:06:38.064,"with a bunch of sex-doll parts,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
174,00:06:38.148,00:06:39.482,and i have to do it one-handed,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
175,00:06:39.566,00:06:41.567,to keep these belushis from carting you off.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
176,00:06:41.651,00:06:43.736,the least you could do is be ashamed of your gender.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
177,00:06:43.820,00:06:46.197,ugh. what's the deal with this place?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
178,00:06:46.281,00:06:47.990,"why is it such a sausage planet,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
179,00:06:48.075,00:06:50.326,and how did such backward idiots invent robots?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
180,00:06:50.410,00:06:51.994,"obviously, at some point,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
181,00:06:52.079,00:06:53.412,the gazorpians became so evolved,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
182,00:06:53.497,00:06:55.956,that they replaced females with birthing machines.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
183,00:06:56.041,00:06:58.167,the resultant lack of distraction and hen-pecking,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
184,00:06:58.251,00:07:00.127,"allowed them to focus entirely on war,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
185,00:07:00.212,00:07:02.129,"so they bombed themselves back to the stone age,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
186,00:07:02.214,00:07:04.090,and now they just fight with each other over fake pussy,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
187,00:07:04.174,00:07:05.591,with sticks and rocks all day long.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
188,00:07:05.675,00:07:07.760,you think it's efficient to get rid of women?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
189,00:07:07.844,00:07:09.845,you ever see a line for the men's room?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
190,00:07:09.930,00:07:11.597,"are you hear-- do you li-- do you hear me, summer?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
191,00:07:11.681,00:07:14.725,[ rumbling ] droppin' loads.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
192,00:07:14.810,00:07:17.895,all: droppin' loads! droppin' loads.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
193,00:07:17.979,00:07:22.191,[between burps] the plot thickens.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
194,00:07:22.275,00:07:24.860,[ all shouting indistinctly ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
195,00:07:24.945,00:07:27.029,"uh, you might want to cover your eyes, summer.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
196,00:07:27.114,00:07:29.156,"yeah, like it was my dream to watch.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
197,00:07:29.241,00:07:30.908,[ all murmuring ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
198,00:07:30.992,00:07:32.034,"yeah, baby!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
199,00:07:32.119,00:07:34.745,"summer, grab -- grab hold.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
200,00:07:34.830,00:07:36.122,"yeah, baby!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
201,00:07:36.206,00:07:37.581,aaaah!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
202,00:07:40.127,00:07:42.211,"grandpa rick, where are we going?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
203,00:07:42.295,00:07:43.838,"well, obviously, summer,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
204,00:07:43.922,00:07:45.923,it appears the lower tier of this society,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
205,00:07:46.007,00:07:48.175,is being manipulated through sex and advanced technology,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
206,00:07:48.260,00:07:50.928,by a hidden ruling class. sound familiar?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
207,00:07:51.012,00:07:52.888,[ gasps ] ticketmaster.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
208,00:07:52.973,00:07:54.974,"oh, there -- there we go, summer.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
209,00:07:55.058,00:07:56.725,"hey -- hey, brother. hey, bro.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
210,00:07:56.810,00:07:58.561,nice racket you got going on here.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
211,00:07:58.645,00:08:01.397,"listen, i'm rick sanchez from earth dimension c-137.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
212,00:08:01.481,00:08:03.649,don't mean you any harm. coming in peace.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
213,00:08:03.733,00:08:06.527,"it's all cool in the, uh -- ""good in the neighborhood""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
214,00:08:06.611,00:08:08.863,is what i was trying to come -- is what i meant.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
215,00:08:11.741,00:08:13.409,"oh, i get it --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
216,00:08:13.493,00:08:15.953,the old behind-every-great-man amazon twist.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
217,00:08:16.037,00:08:18.247,- silence! - [ choking ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
218,00:08:18.331,00:08:20.791,[ coughs ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
219,00:08:20.876,00:08:23.669,- your slave is ill-mannered. - my slave?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
220,00:08:23.753,00:08:25.671,"we assume you are from a more primitive world,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
221,00:08:25.755,00:08:27.882,where men are still permitted to be servants.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
222,00:08:27.966,00:08:30.426,"if he is a rogue male, tell us now and we will kill him.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
223,00:08:30.510,00:08:32.094,he's my slave. he's my slave.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
224,00:08:32.179,00:08:33.095,he's definitely my slave.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
225,00:08:33.180,00:08:34.722,[ chokes ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
226,00:08:34.806,00:08:36.182,ugh! ohh! oh-ho-ho!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
227,00:08:36.266,00:08:37.975,"[ coughs ] oh, boy.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
228,00:08:38.059,00:08:39.894,"what's the opposite of ""wubba-lubba-dub-dubs""?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
229,00:08:39.978,00:08:41.812,"am i right, ladies and gentlemen?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
230,00:08:41.897,00:08:44.231,[ burps ] are you guys kidding me?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
231,00:08:44.316,00:08:46.150,"morty: oh, morty jr.!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
232,00:08:46.234,00:08:48.235,"you're gonna be a special little guy, aren't you?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
233,00:08:48.320,00:08:50.404,"you -- oh, yeah. you're my special little guy.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
234,00:08:50.488,00:08:52.239,ohh. [ laughs ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
235,00:08:52.324,00:08:54.116,ohh! ha ha!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
236,00:08:54.201,00:08:55.117,da.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
237,00:08:55.202,00:08:56.702,"what was that, morty jr.?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
238,00:08:56.786,00:08:58.662,"were you gonna say, ""dada""? say, ""dada.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
239,00:08:58.747,00:08:59.705,death!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
240,00:08:59.789,00:09:01.123,"""dada.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
241,00:09:01.208,00:09:02.583,domination!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
242,00:09:02.667,00:09:04.668,"um... ""dada""?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
243,00:09:04.753,00:09:06.670,destruction. domination.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
244,00:09:06.755,00:09:09.131,[ clears throat ] nice.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
245,00:09:14.137,00:09:17.556,"woman on pa: the spider in sector ""c"" is still alive.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
246,00:09:17.641,00:09:19.558,plan your route accordingly and expect delays.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
247,00:09:19.643,00:09:21.560,we're not telling you what to do.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
248,00:09:21.645,00:09:23.562,we're just sharing how we feel.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
249,00:09:23.647,00:09:25.564,"and now weather -- is anyone else cold,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
250,00:09:25.649,00:09:27.650,or is it just me?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
251,00:09:29.236,00:09:31.737,"i am mar-sha, ruler of gazorpazorp.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
252,00:09:31.821,00:09:33.614,i am here if you need to talk.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
253,00:09:33.698,00:09:35.991,- what is this place? - paradise.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
254,00:09:36.076,00:09:38.744,"we built it during the great passive-aggression,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
255,00:09:38.828,00:09:40.871,when the females separated from the males,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
256,00:09:40.956,00:09:43.624,due to their increasingly destructive behavior.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
257,00:09:43.708,00:09:45.125,i am here if you need to talk.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
258,00:09:45.210,00:09:47.086,i am here if you need to talk.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
259,00:09:47.170,00:09:49.672,"from here, we dispense mechanical surrogates",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
260,00:09:49.756,00:09:51.173,to maintain our population.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
261,00:09:51.258,00:09:54.635,fertilized surrogates are returned here to our nursery.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
262,00:09:54.719,00:09:57.638,the females are placed into educational programs,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
263,00:09:57.722,00:10:00.140,where they can discover a service to our paradise,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
264,00:10:00.225,00:10:02.059,that fulfills them most.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
265,00:10:02.143,00:10:04.395,males... - [ baby giggling ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
266,00:10:04.479,00:10:08.065,...they get to play outside.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
267,00:10:08.149,00:10:10.067,that was just a baby.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
268,00:10:10.151,00:10:12.069,"and within a day, he'll be an adult male gazorpian --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
269,00:10:12.153,00:10:13.988,one of the most aggressively violent creatures,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
270,00:10:14.072,00:10:15.322,in the universe.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
271,00:10:15.407,00:10:17.324,wait a minute -- we're here because a male gazorpian,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
272,00:10:17.409,00:10:19.785,was born on our planet.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
273,00:10:22.455,00:10:25.374,"you speak when you're spoken to, ding-a-ling!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
274,00:10:25.458,00:10:27.918,"it's true, though -- one of your babies was born on earth.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
275,00:10:28.003,00:10:30.254,are you the ruler of this earth?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
276,00:10:30.338,00:10:32.339,- how did you know? - the quality of your top.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
277,00:10:32.424,00:10:34.258,- do you love it? - i love it.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
278,00:10:34.342,00:10:35.676,i'm here if you need to talk.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
279,00:10:35.760,00:10:37.094,i'm here if you need to talk.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
280,00:10:37.178,00:10:38.429,i'm here if you need to talk.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
281,00:10:38.513,00:10:41.181,"if the gazorpian is male, your earth is in grave danger.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
282,00:10:41.266,00:10:43.017,we will give you passage back home,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
283,00:10:43.101,00:10:44.435,so it can be terminated.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
284,00:10:44.519,00:10:46.103,"but first, mojitos.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
285,00:10:46.187,00:10:47.938,we don't have time for mojitos.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
286,00:10:48.023,00:10:50.316,"- you are insulting them. - i don't care, summer!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
287,00:10:50.400,00:10:52.318,this place is the worst! i want to go home!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
288,00:10:52.402,00:10:54.320,"well, it really doesn't matter what you want,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
289,00:10:54.404,00:10:56.530,because this is a sane place where women rule.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
290,00:10:56.614,00:10:58.532,yeah. you know what i have to say about that?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
291,00:10:58.616,00:10:59.908,[ farting ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
292,00:10:59.993,00:11:01.410,[ all gasp ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
293,00:11:01.494,00:11:03.620,woman: i cannot believe my ears!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
294,00:11:03.705,00:11:05.706,[ farting continues ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
295,00:11:08.001,00:11:10.961,"whoo, boy! who let the frogs out, huh?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
296,00:11:11.046,00:11:13.047,grandpa!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
297,00:11:13.131,00:11:15.257,- grandpa? - that sounds patriarchal!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
298,00:11:15.342,00:11:16.925,"lt means ""father of father.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
299,00:11:17.010,00:11:19.261,"then this one is not your slave,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
300,00:11:19.346,00:11:21.764,and your earth is yet another planet dominated by men.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
301,00:11:21.848,00:11:23.974,"it's not dominated by us, okay?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
302,00:11:24.059,00:11:25.851,"on earth, men and women are equals.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
303,00:11:25.935,00:11:29.355,equals?! we make 70% of your salary for the same job!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
304,00:11:29.439,00:11:31.190,- seize them! - whoa!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
305,00:11:31.274,00:11:32.608,[ choking ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
306,00:11:32.692,00:11:35.361,"was this really the time to make that point, summer?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
307,00:11:37.405,00:11:38.822,"this is for you, daddy.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
308,00:11:38.907,00:11:40.115,"oh, man!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
309,00:11:40.200,00:11:42.284,"um, okay. listen to me, morty jr.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
310,00:11:42.369,00:11:44.953,"i've got to tell you something very important, okay?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
311,00:11:45.038,00:11:46.997,killing is bad -- bad!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
312,00:11:47.082,00:11:48.999,"[ giggles ] you're silly, daddy.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
313,00:11:49.084,00:11:51.251,"no, morty jr. i'm being serious, okay?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
314,00:11:51.336,00:11:53.087,you need to put your energy into something else.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
315,00:11:53.171,00:11:54.838,"i mean, what about dancing?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
316,00:11:54.923,00:11:56.298,would you like to learn how to dance?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
317,00:11:56.383,00:11:59.176,i'd like to dance -- on the graves of my enemies.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
318,00:11:59.260,00:12:01.720,"ohh! no, morty jr.!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
319,00:12:03.556,00:12:05.224,"daddy, can i go outside?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
320,00:12:05.308,00:12:06.767,no! absolutely not!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
321,00:12:06.851,00:12:08.894,but that's where all the people and the animals are.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
322,00:12:08.978,00:12:11.146,"yeah, but you can't go out there because the --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
323,00:12:11.231,00:12:13.148,the air is poisonous for you!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
324,00:12:13.233,00:12:14.525,you will die -- you'll die instantly,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
325,00:12:14.609,00:12:16.443,if you ever leave this house!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
326,00:12:16.528,00:12:17.778,you hear me? - for real?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
327,00:12:17.862,00:12:19.571,"for real times a million, buddy.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
328,00:12:19.656,00:12:21.031,"so, let's just stay inside,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
329,00:12:21.116,00:12:23.033,"and, you know, let's try dancing, right?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
330,00:12:23.118,00:12:25.035,look at me. yay! look. we're gonna dance.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
331,00:12:25.120,00:12:26.912,come on. join -- dance with me here.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
332,00:12:26.996,00:12:28.705,we love to dance. - why do we love to dance?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
333,00:12:28.790,00:12:31.208,- 'cause i said so! - [ crying ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
334,00:12:31.292,00:12:34.044,[ both clearing throats ] both: nice.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
335,00:12:34.129,00:12:38.549,[ indistinct conversations ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
336,00:12:38.633,00:12:40.509,"so, what are you in for?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
337,00:12:40.593,00:12:42.636,"because i got -- i got a big,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
338,00:12:42.720,00:12:44.513,"you know, penis between my legs.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
339,00:12:44.597,00:12:46.348,what -- what -- what are you in for?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
340,00:12:46.433,00:12:48.725,the worst crime a female can commit.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
341,00:12:48.810,00:12:50.352,"woman: veronica ann bennett,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
342,00:12:50.437,00:12:53.564,i find you guilty of having bad bangs.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
343,00:12:53.648,00:12:55.524,you ever notice the ones with bad bangs,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
344,00:12:55.608,00:12:57.234,always have three names?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
345,00:12:57.318,00:13:00.571,you are hereby sentenced to the silent treatment!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
346,00:13:00.655,00:13:01.738,[ all gasp ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
347,00:13:01.823,00:13:03.949,pfft! this is gonna be cake.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
348,00:13:04.033,00:13:05.117,no! jackie!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
349,00:13:05.201,00:13:06.785,"rick and summer of earth,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
350,00:13:06.870,00:13:08.954,for the crimes of treason against womankind,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
351,00:13:09.038,00:13:12.374,and for creating the sound of which we do not speak,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
352,00:13:12.459,00:13:14.960,"because it does not exist, you are hereby sentenced to --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
353,00:13:15.044,00:13:17.045,"what, what, what -- a night on the couch?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
354,00:13:17.130,00:13:18.839,"- ...death. - ooh, gerp.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
355,00:13:18.923,00:13:20.716,i hate you so much right now.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
356,00:13:20.800,00:13:22.718,this will be the first instance,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
357,00:13:22.802,00:13:24.720,of capital punishment in our society,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
358,00:13:24.804,00:13:27.389,"in 500 years due to our awesomeness,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
359,00:13:27.474,00:13:29.433,so we are forced to improvise.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
360,00:13:29.517,00:13:32.478,we placed a large boulder on that ledge.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
361,00:13:32.562,00:13:35.105,holy shit! y-y-you're gonna crush us with a boulder?!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
362,00:13:35.190,00:13:37.107,no! stop interrupting!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
363,00:13:37.192,00:13:38.901,the boulder falls onto a lever,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
364,00:13:38.985,00:13:40.903,that will launch... knives.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
365,00:13:40.987,00:13:42.070,what?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
366,00:13:42.155,00:13:43.906,just give me a gun. i'll kill myself.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
367,00:13:43.990,00:13:45.574,stop interrupting!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
368,00:13:45.658,00:13:47.493,the knives will --,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
369,00:13:47.577,00:13:49.870,"fine! you were right the first time, okay?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
370,00:13:49.954,00:13:51.497,the boulder crushes you.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
371,00:13:51.581,00:13:53.499,i just didn't want to admit you were right. happy?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
372,00:13:53.583,00:13:55.501,"no, just ignore them. ignore them.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
373,00:13:55.585,00:13:57.169,such an asshole.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
374,00:13:57.253,00:13:59.004,"rick: look, i'm sorry, summer.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
375,00:13:59.088,00:14:00.797,i feel bad that i let you drag us into this.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
376,00:14:00.882,00:14:02.674,"i wish i could have been a better grandpa to you,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
377,00:14:02.759,00:14:04.343,"and, you know, for what it's worth,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
378,00:14:04.427,00:14:06.345,"that is a really nice, cute top that you're wearing there.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
379,00:14:06.429,00:14:08.180,top. my top!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
380,00:14:08.264,00:14:11.183,my top -- the same top you complimented earlier!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
381,00:14:11.267,00:14:14.520,look -- look at the tag. read it.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
382,00:14:14.604,00:14:17.314,"lt says, ""marc jacobs.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
383,00:14:17.398,00:14:20.442,marc? jacob? these are names of the penis.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
384,00:14:20.527,00:14:23.570,yes. an earth man made this top.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
385,00:14:23.655,00:14:25.364,"maybe on your planet,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
386,00:14:25.448,00:14:27.991,"separation of the genders is the right thing to do,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
387,00:14:28.076,00:14:29.993,"but on earth, a certain percentage of our males",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
388,00:14:30.078,00:14:31.578,"are born gay,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
389,00:14:31.663,00:14:35.123,which is why my clothes are better than all of yours.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
390,00:14:35.208,00:14:36.667,[ gasps ] a man made something fashionable?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
391,00:14:36.751,00:14:39.670,"it's true, and sometimes the truth hurts,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
392,00:14:39.754,00:14:41.380,but it must be accepted.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
393,00:14:41.464,00:14:43.382,like if i told you that you're using,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
394,00:14:43.466,00:14:45.217,the wrong color foundation for your skin,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
395,00:14:45.301,00:14:47.052,"and it ends at your neck,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
396,00:14:47.136,00:14:48.804,making you look like a party clown.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
397,00:14:48.888,00:14:51.098,"okay, ouch. noted. but the fact remains...",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
398,00:14:51.182,00:14:53.976,"if you impose gazorpazorp's laws on earth,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
399,00:14:54.060,00:14:55.602,you're no better than the men,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
400,00:14:55.687,00:14:57.938,whose farts shall remain unspoken.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
401,00:14:58.022,00:14:59.940,"and if you think my top is cute,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
402,00:15:00.024,00:15:01.942,you cannot execute.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
403,00:15:02.026,00:15:03.485,[ all gasp ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
404,00:15:03.570,00:15:05.904,very well. give the earth people a spacecraft,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
405,00:15:05.989,00:15:07.906,"so they may head back to their weird planet,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
406,00:15:07.991,00:15:11.034,where women are kind of equal but not really.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
407,00:15:11.119,00:15:13.036,"good job, summer, and thanks, girls.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
408,00:15:13.121,00:15:14.746,"you know, you girls are really [burps] something,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
409,00:15:14.831,00:15:16.331,i'll tell you that.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
410,00:15:16.416,00:15:18.000,"you know [burps] when we first go there, i was like --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
411,00:15:18.084,00:15:19.626,give them a ship now.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
412,00:15:19.711,00:15:23.005,[ inhales deeply ] morty jr.! smoking?!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
413,00:15:23.089,00:15:24.506,that is not okay!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
414,00:15:24.591,00:15:25.799,what are you gonna do -- ground me?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
415,00:15:25.883,00:15:27.092,i can't go outside anyway!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
416,00:15:27.176,00:15:29.845,so what?! you could do things inside!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
417,00:15:29.929,00:15:32.097,you could play guitar. you could masturbate.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
418,00:15:32.181,00:15:34.641,i don't want to masturbate. i want to conquer the planet!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
419,00:15:34.726,00:15:37.311,"oh, here we go again! you know, who do you think...",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
420,00:15:37.395,00:15:39.396,"is gonna love you if you conquer the planet, morty jr.?!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
421,00:15:39.480,00:15:41.064,love -- that's all you care about!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
422,00:15:41.149,00:15:42.524,what about weapons?!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
423,00:15:42.609,00:15:44.401,what about domination of the enemy?!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
424,00:15:44.485,00:15:46.361,"all right, that's it -- no more history channel!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
425,00:15:46.446,00:15:48.697,this tv is for cartoons and video games only!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
426,00:15:48.781,00:15:51.742,i hate video games! you take that back!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
427,00:15:51.826,00:15:53.452,give it to me!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
428,00:15:53.536,00:15:55.454,ugh!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
429,00:15:55.538,00:15:57.456,i-i-i didn't mean -- i didn't mean that.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
430,00:15:57.540,00:15:59.124,i didn't mean to do that. i'm sorry.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
431,00:15:59.208,00:16:01.627,i can't take this anymore! i'd rather breathe poison...,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
432,00:16:01.711,00:16:03.629,than live another minute with you!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
433,00:16:03.713,00:16:05.964,"no! no, no, no! stop!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
434,00:16:06.049,00:16:09.426,[ breathing deeply ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
435,00:16:11.095,00:16:12.471,my life has been a lie!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
436,00:16:12.555,00:16:14.556,god is dead! the government's lame!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
437,00:16:14.641,00:16:16.558,thanksgiving is about killing indians!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
438,00:16:16.643,00:16:18.393,jesus wasn't born on christmas!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
439,00:16:18.478,00:16:20.020,they moved the date! lt was a pagan holiday!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
440,00:16:20.104,00:16:22.022,"- oh, dad! - yes, morty?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
441,00:16:22.106,00:16:24.024,"my son is gonna take over the planet,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
442,00:16:24.108,00:16:25.567,and i am too young to drive!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
443,00:16:25.652,00:16:26.818,can you help me get him back?!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
444,00:16:26.903,00:16:28.028,[ clears throat ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
445,00:16:28.112,00:16:30.822,"i suppose, morty. i suppose.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
446,00:16:30.907,00:16:34.826,"but first, a deep sip from a very tall glass",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
447,00:16:34.911,00:16:37.996,"of ""i told you so.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
448,00:16:38.081,00:16:41.166,[ gulping ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
449,00:16:41.250,00:16:43.585,"oh, my god! please, dad! come on!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
450,00:16:43.670,00:16:45.587,[ dog barking in distance ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
451,00:16:49.217,00:16:52.761,"♪ runnin' wild, runnin' hot,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
452,00:16:52.845,00:16:54.846,burnin' inside ♪,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
453,00:16:54.931,00:16:58.058,♪ with the youth in the blood and the age and the heat,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
454,00:16:58.142,00:17:01.186,"and the fire in your pants, open wide ♪",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
455,00:17:01.270,00:17:03.814,"♪ you're gonna run from the damn cold,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
456,00:17:03.898,00:17:07.442,but you can't run from your youth ♪,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
457,00:17:07.527,00:17:10.570,[ roaring ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
458,00:17:16.202,00:17:17.244,[ tires screech ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
459,00:17:17.328,00:17:20.080,[ people screaming ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
460,00:17:20.164,00:17:23.375,[ tires screech ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
461,00:17:23.459,00:17:26.378,[ screaming continues ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
462,00:17:28.881,00:17:31.883,"dad, there he is!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
463,00:17:31.968,00:17:33.176,[ roars ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
464,00:17:33.261,00:17:34.678,"oh, god. hey, stop that!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
465,00:17:34.762,00:17:36.054,[ horn honks ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
466,00:17:36.139,00:17:37.681,"oh, my god! oh, my god! dad!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
467,00:17:37.765,00:17:38.682,[ roars ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
468,00:17:38.766,00:17:41.893,"morty jr., no! it's me! it's dad.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
469,00:17:41.978,00:17:44.062,it's okay!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
470,00:17:44.147,00:17:46.022,"put the car down, morty jr.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
471,00:17:46.107,00:17:48.108,no! no! ♪ wh-where's your hands? ♪,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
472,00:17:48.192,00:17:51.695,♪ where's your hands? ♪,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
473,00:17:51.779,00:17:53.113,my car!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
474,00:17:53.197,00:17:57.117,♪ and that's how we play handy hands ♪,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
475,00:17:57.201,00:17:58.785,"out of the -- out of the way, morty!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
476,00:17:58.870,00:17:59.870,- no! - morty!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
477,00:17:59.954,00:18:01.663,that's one of the most violently aggressive,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
478,00:18:01.748,00:18:02.706,creatures in the universe!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
479,00:18:02.790,00:18:04.458,- ow! - he's my son!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
480,00:18:04.542,00:18:08.336,"and if you hurt him, you'll have to kill me, rick!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
481,00:18:11.549,00:18:12.924,[ growls ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
482,00:18:13.009,00:18:15.594,"dad, i'm so confused!",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
483,00:18:15.678,00:18:18.305,"i know, morty jr. i'm sorry.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
484,00:18:18.389,00:18:20.098,i ended up lying to you and yelling at you,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
485,00:18:20.183,00:18:22.142,just like my parents did to me.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
486,00:18:22.226,00:18:24.561,"you know, parents are just kids having kids.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
487,00:18:24.645,00:18:27.230,"one minute, you like how a shiny robot looks.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
488,00:18:27.315,00:18:29.399,"the next minute, you're in a fist fight",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
489,00:18:29.484,00:18:31.318,with your alien son.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
490,00:18:31.402,00:18:32.819,i'm an alien?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
491,00:18:32.904,00:18:34.821,"we all have bad impulses, bad thoughts.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
492,00:18:34.906,00:18:36.615,we just have to learn to channel them,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
493,00:18:36.699,00:18:38.325,into something constructive.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
494,00:18:38.409,00:18:40.911,but i want to murder everyone i see.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
495,00:18:40.995,00:18:42.746,"well, you know, i mean, maybe there's a job out there",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
496,00:18:42.830,00:18:44.414,for people that feel that way.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
497,00:18:44.499,00:18:45.916,"man: actually, there is.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
498,00:18:46.000,00:18:47.876,"hi. i'm brad anderson, creator of",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
499,00:18:47.960,00:18:50.086,"the nationally syndicated comic strip ""marmaduke.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
500,00:18:50.171,00:18:52.088,you should consider being a creative.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
501,00:18:52.173,00:18:53.799,i'm haunted by uncontrollable thoughts,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
502,00:18:53.883,00:18:55.550,of mutilation and sexual assault,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
503,00:18:55.635,00:18:57.385,on a near daily basis.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
504,00:18:57.470,00:18:59.971,"but, you know, i channel it all into my work.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
505,00:19:00.056,00:19:01.681,- oh. wow. - huh.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
506,00:19:01.766,00:19:03.767,"i never got that impression from reading ""marmaduke.""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
507,00:19:03.851,00:19:05.310,"well, did you get the impression",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
508,00:19:05.394,00:19:07.521,i was trying to make you laugh?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
509,00:19:08.564,00:19:10.899,tell me that wasn't brad anderson.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
510,00:19:10.983,00:19:13.109,"aw, see? you hear that, morty jr.?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
511,00:19:13.194,00:19:15.320,maybe you could try being a creative of some kind.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
512,00:19:15.404,00:19:17.364,maybe! i always have sort of wanted,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
513,00:19:17.448,00:19:19.658,to see my face on the back of a novel.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
514,00:19:19.742,00:19:22.661,"i mean, what i really want to do is slit people's throats,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
515,00:19:22.745,00:19:23.829,but beyond that...,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
516,00:19:23.913,00:19:26.122,"i know you can do it, son.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
517,00:19:26.207,00:19:28.542,i think it's time i get a place of my own.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
518,00:19:28.626,00:19:31.378,i promise i'll call you every day i need money,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
519,00:19:31.462,00:19:33.588,or a place to do laundry.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
520,00:19:33.673,00:19:34.756,[ growling affectionately ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
521,00:19:34.841,00:19:37.634,aaaaaaah!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
522,00:19:37.718,00:19:39.845,[ whoosh! thud! ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
523,00:19:39.929,00:19:43.348,"so, i assume this novel your son writes",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
524,00:19:43.432,00:19:46.810,is gonna pay for my rear axle?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
525,00:19:46.894,00:19:48.520,"isn't it interesting, summer,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
526,00:19:48.604,00:19:50.522,"that after all that stuff we just did,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
527,00:19:50.606,00:19:52.607,nothing really mattered and there was no point to it?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
528,00:19:52.692,00:19:54.651,"kind of makes you wonder, huh -- about nothing?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
529,00:19:54.735,00:19:57.070,are you sure it doesn't make you re-evaluate,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
530,00:19:57.154,00:19:59.322,your policy about taking girls on adventures?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
531,00:19:59.407,00:20:01.449,"no. i'd say, given what we've been through,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
532,00:20:01.534,00:20:02.951,that i was right the whole time,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
533,00:20:03.035,00:20:04.953,and any epiphanies about gender politics were,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
534,00:20:05.037,00:20:06.830,a projection of your feminine insecurity.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
535,00:20:06.914,00:20:09.374,"but, hey, why don't you have a pink spaceship?",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
536,00:20:09.458,00:20:11.459,go ride around and have a jolly old time.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
537,00:20:11.544,00:20:13.670,maybe that'll shut you up. - dad? summer?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
538,00:20:13.754,00:20:15.297,where were you guys this whole time?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
539,00:20:15.381,00:20:16.882,on gazorpazorp. where were you?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
540,00:20:16.966,00:20:18.508,i was reading a newspaper.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
541,00:20:18.593,00:20:20.969,"oh, that's interesting, beth. you know, it's funny.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
542,00:20:21.053,00:20:23.346,l-i-i heard about a little bit of news myself.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
543,00:20:23.431,00:20:25.473,take a look. t-take a listen.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
544,00:20:25.558,00:20:27.392,[ farting ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
545,00:20:27.476,00:20:29.603,[ both laugh ],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
546,00:20:29.687,00:20:30.729,wubba-lubba-dub-dubs!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
547,00:20:30.813,00:20:32.480,this [burps] this world [burps],S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
548,00:20:32.565,00:20:34.649,still got a -- it's still got a chance!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
549,00:20:34.734,00:20:36.318,yeah! ha ha!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
550,00:20:36.402,00:20:37.944,see you -- see you guys next week!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
551,00:20:38.029,00:20:39.487,see everybody next week.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
552,00:21:09.644,00:21:10.810,"mortimer smith, jr.,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
553,00:21:10.895,00:21:12.437,"new york times bestselling author,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
554,00:21:12.521,00:21:14.439,"your book is about innocence, the definition of it,",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
555,00:21:14.523,00:21:16.441,"and, inevitably, its impossibility.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
556,00:21:16.525,00:21:18.276,ls it autobiographical?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
557,00:21:18.361,00:21:19.527,certainly.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
558,00:21:19.612,00:21:22.447,"i mean, all writing is, in my opinion.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
559,00:21:22.531,00:21:25.408,"but my, uh -- [ clears throat ]",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
560,00:21:25.493,00:21:28.161,my father kept me locked in the house,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
561,00:21:28.245,00:21:30.664,until i was a teenager.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
562,00:21:30.748,00:21:32.457,and there was violence,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
563,00:21:32.541,00:21:35.585,"and, uh, threats of poison gas --",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
564,00:21:35.670,00:21:37.337,but also dancing.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
565,00:21:37.421,00:21:39.464,but you persevered and created this masterpiece,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
566,00:21:39.548,00:21:40.840,from your suffering.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
567,00:21:40.925,00:21:43.510,"smith jr.'s mind-bending novel, ""my horrible father,""",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
568,00:21:43.594,00:21:45.470,in every store and on everyone's mind.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
569,00:21:45.554,00:21:47.263,pick it up. we'll be right back.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
570,00:21:47.348,00:21:48.848,"it's a thankless job, morty.",S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
571,00:21:48.933,00:21:50.016,you did the best you could.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
572,00:21:50.101,00:21:52.519,i hope he's eating enough.,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
573,00:21:54.063,00:21:55.480,did you get any of that?,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
574,00:21:55.564,00:21:57.565,it's a good-a show!,S01,E07,Raising Gazorpazorp
1,00:00:01.001,00:00:04.253,[ dramatic music plays],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
2,00:00:04.338,00:00:05.463,cynthia...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
3,00:00:05.547,00:00:07.173,"jerry: oh, my god. no. no.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
4,00:00:07.257,00:00:09.175,- i told you. - hold on.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
5,00:00:09.259,00:00:11.177,will you please...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
6,00:00:11.261,00:00:12.970,not marry me? i chose veronica.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
7,00:00:13.055,00:00:14.222,- what?! - yes!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
8,00:00:14.306,00:00:16.224,- hold it. - why would he chose veronica?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
9,00:00:16.308,00:00:17.892,because he loves her?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
10,00:00:17.976,00:00:19.310,"well, if it's any consolation, summer,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
11,00:00:19.395,00:00:21.145,none of it mattered and the entire show was stupid.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
12,00:00:21.230,00:00:22.605,"okay, i've got an idea, rick.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
13,00:00:22.690,00:00:24.607,"you show us your concept of good tv,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
14,00:00:24.692,00:00:26.526,and we'll crap all over that.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
15,00:00:26.610,00:00:29.195,thought you'd never ask.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
16,00:00:29.279,00:00:30.446,hey.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
17,00:00:30.531,00:00:32.448,"oh, cool. ls that crystallized xanthanite?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
18,00:00:32.533,00:00:34.409,it conducts electrons across dimensions.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
19,00:00:34.493,00:00:36.327,"20% accurate as usual, morty.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
20,00:00:36.412,00:00:37.829,"the important thing being,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
21,00:00:37.913,00:00:39.789,i just upgraded our cable package,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
22,00:00:39.873,00:00:42.041,with programing from every conceivable reality.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
23,00:00:42.126,00:00:43.626,wait. does that mean we get showtime extreme?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
24,00:00:43.711,00:00:45.420,how about showtime extreme in a world,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
25,00:00:45.504,00:00:47.088,where man evolved from corn?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
26,00:00:47.172,00:00:49.132,we're not so different. we're both corn of action.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
27,00:00:49.174,00:00:51.134,"yeah, but one of us is dead corn!",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
28,00:00:51.218,00:00:52.510,summer: boring.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
29,00:00:52.594,00:00:54.554,summer [burps] you just spent [burps] three months,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
30,00:00:54.596,00:00:56.472,watching a man choose a fake wife.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
31,00:00:56.557,00:00:58.477,"so, what, it'd be better if the people were corn?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
32,00:00:58.559,00:01:00.101,"rick: jerry, you don't get it.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
33,00:01:00.185,00:01:03.354,this is infinite tv from infinite universes.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
34,00:01:03.439,00:01:05.148,look. - this shit is delicious.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
35,00:01:05.232,00:01:08.192,a movie about a guy eating shit.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
36,00:01:08.277,00:01:10.236,a violent antique show.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
37,00:01:10.320,00:01:11.654,[ laughs] it's a pleasure to have you.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
38,00:01:11.739,00:01:13.573,the pleasure's all mine.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
39,00:01:13.657,00:01:15.658,letterman from a timeline where jerry's famous.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
40,00:01:15.743,00:01:17.368,- jerry: wait! - beth: what in the hell?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
41,00:01:17.453,00:01:18.995,rick: i agree. where is this going?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
42,00:01:19.079,00:01:20.580,"no, the other thing! go back.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
43,00:01:20.664,00:01:22.123,"rick: really? all right, fine.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
44,00:01:22.207,00:01:24.625,"glen, this court order says you can't eat shit anymore.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
45,00:01:24.710,00:01:26.627,"[ dramatic music plays] - all right, jerry.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
46,00:01:26.712,00:01:28.463,"when you're right, you're right.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
47,00:01:28.547,00:01:29.839,now i'm hooked.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
48,00:02:01.789,00:02:03.748,"coming up next on ""shmloo's the shmloss,""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
49,00:02:03.832,00:02:05.374,shmlony has a nightmare.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
50,00:02:05.459,00:02:08.419,- shmlantha! shmlona! - rick: amazing... a dimension,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
51,00:02:08.504,00:02:10.421,"where all proper nouns begin with ""shmla.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
52,00:02:10.506,00:02:12.924,shmla... shmlangela?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
53,00:02:13.008,00:02:14.592,shmlonathan?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
54,00:02:14.676,00:02:16.886,"all right, that actually got old pretty quick.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
55,00:02:16.970,00:02:18.429,[ groans ] rick!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
56,00:02:18.514,00:02:20.681,"will you please go back to me on ""david letterman""?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
57,00:02:20.766,00:02:22.433,"infinity's a big number, jerry.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
58,00:02:22.518,00:02:23.935,i don't remember the channel.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
59,00:02:24.019,00:02:25.520,summer: ah! go back! go back!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
60,00:02:25.604,00:02:28.022,- rick: geez. - you speak the true-true.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
61,00:02:28.106,00:02:30.358,"oh, my god. dad's in ""cloud atlas""!",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
62,00:02:30.442,00:02:33.152,"i'm in ""cloud atlas""! what's ""cloud atlas""?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
63,00:02:33.237,00:02:34.779,"sometimes, small true-true",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
64,00:02:34.863,00:02:36.781,different than the big true-true.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
65,00:02:36.865,00:02:38.324,how is this possible?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
66,00:02:38.408,00:02:40.618,"infinite timelines, infinite possibilities,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
67,00:02:40.702,00:02:42.582,including a timeline where jerry's a movie star.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
68,00:02:42.663,00:02:44.163,"look, you guys are getting excited",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
69,00:02:44.248,00:02:45.915,about the wrong aspect of this device.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
70,00:02:45.999,00:02:47.583,wha... look at this.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
71,00:02:47.668,00:02:50.253,"and now, another quick mystery.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
72,00:02:50.337,00:02:52.097,i just want to know who could have done this.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
73,00:02:52.172,00:02:54.090,it's a travesty. - i did.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
74,00:02:54.174,00:02:55.508,see this knife and all the blood on it?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
75,00:02:55.592,00:02:56.801,here's my fingerprints.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
76,00:02:56.885,00:02:59.178,guilty. i sentence you to life in prison.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
77,00:02:59.263,00:03:00.763,here's another quick mystery.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
78,00:03:00.848,00:03:02.765,- my mother's dead. - and i killed her.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
79,00:03:02.850,00:03:04.475,"here's the weapon, and cuff me.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
80,00:03:04.560,00:03:05.768,thank you very much.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
81,00:03:05.853,00:03:07.395,guilty. sentenced to murder.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
82,00:03:07.479,00:03:08.521,"[ chokes, gags]",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
83,00:03:08.605,00:03:10.773,- here's another. - i'm the killer.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
84,00:03:10.858,00:03:13.442,"oh, wow, that one was really quick, wasn't it?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
85,00:03:13.527,00:03:15.987,"now, who wants to watch random, crazy tv shows",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
86,00:03:16.071,00:03:18.239,"from different dimensions, and... and then who wants",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
87,00:03:18.323,00:03:20.825,to narcissistically obsess about their alternate selves?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
88,00:03:20.909,00:03:23.494,i want to obsess about myself.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
89,00:03:23.579,00:03:25.496,"[ sighs ] here, these scan your retinas",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
90,00:03:25.581,00:03:27.498,and let you view parallel timelines,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
91,00:03:27.583,00:03:29.375,through genetically matching versions of your eyes.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
92,00:03:29.459,00:03:30.459,go fetch.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
93,00:03:30.460,00:03:32.336,- this is so cool. - ladies first.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
94,00:03:32.421,00:03:33.546,"i'm proud of you, morty.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
95,00:03:33.630,00:03:35.673,"hey, man, i don't give a crap about myself, rick.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
96,00:03:35.757,00:03:37.592,"let's watch some crazy stuff, yo.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
97,00:03:37.676,00:03:38.926,"i'm ants in my eyes johnson,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
98,00:03:39.011,00:03:41.262,here at ants in my eyes johnson's electronics.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
99,00:03:41.346,00:03:43.347,"i mean, there's so many ants in my eyes.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
100,00:03:43.432,00:03:46.392,"and there's so many tvs, microwaves, radios, i think.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
101,00:03:46.476,00:03:49.687,i can't... i'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
102,00:03:49.771,00:03:51.397,because i can't see anything.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
103,00:03:51.481,00:03:54.233,"our prices, i hope, aren't too low.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
104,00:03:54.318,00:03:56.903,"check out this refrigerator, only $200.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
105,00:03:56.987,00:03:58.779,what about this microwave? only $100.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
106,00:03:58.864,00:04:00.406,that's fair.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
107,00:04:00.490,00:04:02.867,i'm ants in my eyes johnson. everything's black.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
108,00:04:02.951,00:04:04.327,i can't see a thing.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
109,00:04:04.411,00:04:06.329,"and also, i can't feel anything, either.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
110,00:04:06.413,00:04:07.455,did i mention that?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
111,00:04:07.539,00:04:10.041,"but that's not as catchy as having ants in your eyes,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
112,00:04:10.125,00:04:12.668,"so that always goes, you know, off by the wayside.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
113,00:04:12.753,00:04:14.837,i can't feel. it's a very rare disease.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
114,00:04:14.922,00:04:16.547,"all my... all my nerves,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
115,00:04:16.632,00:04:18.883,"they don't allow for the sensation of touch,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
116,00:04:18.967,00:04:20.843,so i never know what's going on.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
117,00:04:20.928,00:04:22.845,"am i standing, sitting? i don't know.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
118,00:04:22.930,00:04:25.389,are we sure we wanna look at our own alternate lives?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
119,00:04:25.474,00:04:27.725,you're right. maybe we should just play yahtzee.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
120,00:04:27.809,00:04:29.852,give me those. [ beeping ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
121,00:04:29.937,00:04:30.937,beth: what do you see?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
122,00:04:31.021,00:04:33.940,whiteness... pure whiteness.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
123,00:04:34.024,00:04:35.858,[ snorting ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
124,00:04:35.943,00:04:37.610,"you're my best friend, jerry smith.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
125,00:04:37.694,00:04:39.070,i love doing cocaine with you.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
126,00:04:39.154,00:04:42.156,"whoa, i love doing cocaine with you, too, johnny depp.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
127,00:04:42.240,00:04:45.242,[ groans ] haven't we spent enough time on you?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
128,00:04:45.327,00:04:47.995,[ beeping ] i'm performing surgery...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
129,00:04:48.080,00:04:49.997,but not on a horse... on a human.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
130,00:04:50.082,00:04:51.624,"jerry: that's great, beth.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
131,00:04:51.708,00:04:53.876,you always wanted to be a real surgeon.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
132,00:04:53.961,00:04:55.878,i am a real surgeon.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
133,00:04:55.963,00:04:57.588,uh... summer's turn.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
134,00:04:57.673,00:04:59.590,finally. [ beeping ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
135,00:04:59.675,00:05:01.592,i don't see anything.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
136,00:05:01.677,00:05:03.344,"well, you should select a different timeline.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
137,00:05:03.428,00:05:05.348,"i mean, if your father and i achieved our dreams,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
138,00:05:05.430,00:05:06.847,there's a chance you weren't even born.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
139,00:05:06.932,00:05:09.350,that came out wrong. that came out very wrong.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
140,00:05:09.434,00:05:12.937,fine. i'll find a world where you bothered to have me.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
141,00:05:13.021,00:05:15.982,[ beeping ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
142,00:05:16.066,00:05:18.109,we're playing yahtzee.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
143,00:05:18.193,00:05:19.860,yahtzee's fun. we love yahtzee.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
144,00:05:19.945,00:05:21.529,it's a fun game for fun families.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
145,00:05:21.613,00:05:23.781,"hey, could i get those goggles back for a second?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
146,00:05:23.865,00:05:27.201,"it's a 45-horsepower with antilock brakes,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
147,00:05:27.285,00:05:30.371,"and it's the official car of ""mr. sneezy 3d.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
148,00:05:30.455,00:05:33.165,it's the brand-new sneezy xl.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
149,00:05:33.250,00:05:36.043,"the horn, when you honk it, makes a sneeze noise.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
150,00:05:36.128,00:05:37.211,[ sneezes],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
151,00:05:37.295,00:05:39.213,"it's polite, it's right,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
152,00:05:39.297,00:05:44.260,"and it's sneezy, deezy mc... deluxe.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
153,00:05:44.344,00:05:45.928,i'm mr. sneezy. [ sneezes],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
154,00:05:46.013,00:05:48.472,"huh, seems like tv from other dimensions",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
155,00:05:48.557,00:05:50.391,has a somewhat looser feel to it.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
156,00:05:50.475,00:05:53.227,"yeah, it's got an almost improvisational tone.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
157,00:05:53.311,00:05:55.855,it's in theaters now. coming this summer.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
158,00:05:55.939,00:05:58.357,"two brothers in a van,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
159,00:05:58.442,00:05:59.817,and then a meteor hits.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
160,00:05:59.901,00:06:02.069,and they ran as fast as they could,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
161,00:06:02.154,00:06:03.946,from giant cat monsters.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
162,00:06:04.031,00:06:05.865,and then a giant tornado came.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
163,00:06:05.949,00:06:11.245,and that's when things got knocked into 12th gear.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
164,00:06:11.329,00:06:14.123,"a mexican armada shows up,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
165,00:06:14.207,00:06:17.460,with weapons made from t-tomatoes.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
166,00:06:17.544,00:06:19.712,and you better bet your bottom dollar,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
167,00:06:19.796,00:06:23.466,that these two brothers know how to handle business,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
168,00:06:23.550,00:06:27.428,"in ""alien invasion tomato monster",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
169,00:06:27.512,00:06:28.763,"mexican armada brothers,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
170,00:06:28.847,00:06:30.848,"who are just regular brothers,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
171,00:06:30.932,00:06:33.100,running in a van from an asteroid,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
172,00:06:33.185,00:06:37.146,"and all sort of things: the movie.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
173,00:06:37.230,00:06:39.148,hold on. there's more.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
174,00:06:39.232,00:06:41.567,"old women are coming, and they're also in the movie.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
175,00:06:41.651,00:06:43.444,and they're gonna come,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
176,00:06:43.528,00:06:45.988,and cross attack these two brothers.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
177,00:06:46.073,00:06:47.573,"but let's get back to the brothers,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
178,00:06:47.657,00:06:50.576,because they're... they have a strong bond.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
179,00:06:50.660,00:06:51.869,"you don't want to know about it here,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
180,00:06:51.953,00:06:53.537,but i'll tell you one thing.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
181,00:06:53.622,00:06:55.790,the moon... it comes crashing into earth.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
182,00:06:55.874,00:06:57.750,and what do you do then?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
183,00:06:57.834,00:07:00.544,it's two brothers and... and they're gonna...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
184,00:07:00.629,00:07:02.546,"it's called ""two brothers."" ""two brothers.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
185,00:07:02.631,00:07:04.715,"[ laughing ] it's just called ""two brothers.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
186,00:07:04.800,00:07:06.967,holy crap. i am winning a nobel prize.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
187,00:07:07.052,00:07:09.136,come on. time's up. [ beeping ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
188,00:07:09.221,00:07:10.846,i'm taming a lion.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
189,00:07:10.931,00:07:12.973,"no, wait. there are film cameras.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
190,00:07:13.058,00:07:15.601,i might be a lion tamer in a movie.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
191,00:07:15.685,00:07:17.311,you get the idea. i work with lions.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
192,00:07:17.395,00:07:19.522,[ beeping ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
193,00:07:19.606,00:07:21.899,"ohh, we're not playing yahtzee!",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
194,00:07:21.983,00:07:24.193,we're playing chutes and ladders.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
195,00:07:24.277,00:07:26.904,"seems like when i exist, life gets a little more...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
196,00:07:26.988,00:07:28.572,i don't know... predictable?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
197,00:07:28.657,00:07:30.616,"when two people create a life together,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
198,00:07:30.700,00:07:33.619,they set aside their previous lives as individuals.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
199,00:07:33.703,00:07:35.246,give me a break.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
200,00:07:35.330,00:07:37.998,we're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
201,00:07:38.083,00:07:39.333,"oh, i get it.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
202,00:07:39.417,00:07:41.502,"now that you know you could have had it better,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
203,00:07:41.586,00:07:43.921,you resent me for holding you back.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
204,00:07:44.005,00:07:46.507,"well, now that we know you think the tables are turning,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
205,00:07:46.591,00:07:48.431,we know you thought there were unturned tables.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
206,00:07:48.510,00:07:50.386,what are you talking about?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
207,00:07:50.470,00:07:52.054,"all this time, you've been thinking, ""what if that loser,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
208,00:07:52.139,00:07:54.348,"jerry, hadn't talked me out of the abortion?""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
209,00:07:54.432,00:07:56.433,"- um... - well, now you know.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
210,00:07:56.518,00:07:57.560,you'd be a doctor. whoop-de-do.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
211,00:07:57.644,00:07:59.228,you'd also be drinking wine alone,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
212,00:07:59.312,00:08:01.480,in a house full of exotic birds.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
213,00:08:01.565,00:08:04.316,"and i'd be on dicaprio's yacht, banging kristen stewart.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
214,00:08:04.401,00:08:06.735,you thought about getting an abortion?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
215,00:08:06.820,00:08:08.195,everyone thinks about it.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
216,00:08:08.280,00:08:10.280,"obviously, i'm the version of me that didn't do it,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
217,00:08:10.282,00:08:13.284,"so you're welcome. - yeah, you're welcome.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
218,00:08:13.368,00:08:14.952,"yeah, thank you guys so much.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
219,00:08:15.036,00:08:16.662,it's a real treat to be raised by parents,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
220,00:08:16.746,00:08:18.414,that forced themselves to be together,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
221,00:08:18.498,00:08:20.124,instead of being happy.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
222,00:08:20.208,00:08:22.293,"hey, do we have any wafer cookies?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
223,00:08:22.377,00:08:23.627,mmm!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
224,00:08:23.712,00:08:24.795,"oh, boy.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
225,00:08:24.880,00:08:26.297,looks like you guys have been checking out alternate lives,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
226,00:08:26.381,00:08:28.141,"and realizing you don't have it as good, huh?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
227,00:08:28.216,00:08:29.383,that's too bad.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
228,00:08:29.467,00:08:31.107,"you know, me and morty are having a blast.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
229,00:08:31.136,00:08:32.720,"we just discovered a show called ""ball fondlers.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
230,00:08:32.804,00:08:34.680,"i mean, i don't want to rub it in or anything,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
231,00:08:34.764,00:08:37.683,but you guys clearly backed the wrong conceptual horse.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
232,00:08:38.226,00:08:41.562,[ metal music plays],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
233,00:08:50.697,00:08:53.115,- i'm in heaven right now. - the best day of my life.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
234,00:08:53.200,00:08:54.867,"so, now what do we do?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
235,00:08:54.951,00:08:57.071,"that show ""ball fondlers"" sounded kind of interesting.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
236,00:08:57.078,00:08:58.704,- dad! - what?!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
237,00:08:58.788,00:09:00.998,they're having fun in there. what do you guys want from me?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
238,00:09:01.082,00:09:03.000,every family on this block has to wonder,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
239,00:09:03.084,00:09:04.710,if they're together by choice.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
240,00:09:04.794,00:09:06.587,our family just has interdimensional goggles,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
241,00:09:06.671,00:09:09.006,to show us for a fact that we're not.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
242,00:09:09.090,00:09:11.675,"- well, i'm leaving. - you can't leave. you're 17.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
243,00:09:11.760,00:09:13.260,"yeah, and i'm not pregnant.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
244,00:09:13.345,00:09:16.222,i'm gonna have better judgment than you guys had at my age.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
245,00:09:16.306,00:09:18.682,i'm gonna move to the southwest and...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
246,00:09:18.767,00:09:21.852,"i don't know, do something with turquoise.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
247,00:09:21.937,00:09:25.856,"it's ""saturday night live,""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
248,00:09:25.941,00:09:28.525,"starring a piece of toast,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
249,00:09:28.610,00:09:30.861,"two guys with handlebar mustaches,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
250,00:09:30.946,00:09:33.781,"a man painted silver who makes robot noises,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
251,00:09:33.865,00:09:35.616,"gar ma nar nar,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
252,00:09:35.700,00:09:38.327,"three, um, um, um...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
253,00:09:38.411,00:09:40.162,"i'll get back to that one,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
254,00:09:40.247,00:09:41.872,a hole in the wall,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
255,00:09:41.957,00:09:44.041,"where the men can see it all,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
256,00:09:44.125,00:09:48.337,"and, returning for his 25th consecutive year,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
257,00:09:48.421,00:09:51.757,bobby moynihan!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
258,00:09:51.841,00:09:53.300,interesting fun fact...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
259,00:09:53.385,00:09:55.886,moynihan and a piece of toast hate each other.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
260,00:09:55.971,00:09:58.889,"apparently, they've got some real creative differences.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
261,00:09:58.974,00:10:00.307,"hey, are you tired of real doors",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
262,00:10:00.392,00:10:01.976,"cluttering up your house,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
263,00:10:02.060,00:10:03.644,"where you open them and you actually go somewhere,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
264,00:10:03.728,00:10:05.020,and you go into another room?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
265,00:10:05.105,00:10:07.606,get on down to real fake doors. that's us.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
266,00:10:07.691,00:10:09.066,fill a whole room up with them.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
267,00:10:09.150,00:10:10.317,"see, watch. check this out.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
268,00:10:10.402,00:10:11.443,[ grunts ] won't open.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
269,00:10:11.528,00:10:12.569,[ grunts ] won't open.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
270,00:10:12.654,00:10:13.904,[ grunts ] not this one.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
271,00:10:13.989,00:10:15.072,[ grunts ] not this one.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
272,00:10:15.156,00:10:16.156,none of them open.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
273,00:10:16.241,00:10:17.866,"fakedoors.com is our website,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
274,00:10:17.951,00:10:20.869,so check it out for a lot of really great deals,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
275,00:10:20.954,00:10:24.164,on fake do-o-o-o-rs!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
276,00:10:30.380,00:10:32.172,"hey, wait a minute, rick.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
277,00:10:32.257,00:10:33.632,i thought this was a commercial.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
278,00:10:33.717,00:10:35.342,"what's going on? - relax, morty.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
279,00:10:35.427,00:10:39.096,don't... don't worry about it. let's just see where this goes.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
280,00:10:39.180,00:10:41.223,step on it! we all got places to be!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
281,00:10:41.308,00:10:43.642,[ honks horn ] son of a bitch.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
282,00:10:45.437,00:10:47.271,"oh, that must be where he lives.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
283,00:10:47.355,00:10:48.689,okay.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
284,00:10:48.773,00:10:52.318,rick: huh. he's making himself a sandwich now.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
285,00:10:54.988,00:10:56.864,"hey, everybody. so, this is my house.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
286,00:10:56.948,00:10:59.199,just made a sandwich... peanut butter and jelly.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
287,00:10:59.284,00:11:01.118,"still here, still selling fake doors.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
288,00:11:01.202,00:11:02.244,morty: what?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
289,00:11:02.329,00:11:04.288,"oh, my god. it's still the commercial.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
290,00:11:04.372,00:11:06.290,we have fake doors like you wouldn't believe.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
291,00:11:06.374,00:11:08.667,what are you worried about? come get fake doors.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
292,00:11:08.752,00:11:10.961,call us up and order some fake doors today.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
293,00:11:11.046,00:11:12.838,"don't even hesitate, don't even worry,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
294,00:11:12.922,00:11:13.922,and don't even...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
295,00:11:13.965,00:11:15.090,"all right, i'm bored. change it.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
296,00:11:15.175,00:11:16.925,"wait, wait, rick. hold on, hold on.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
297,00:11:17.010,00:11:18.135,that's our slogan.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
298,00:11:18.219,00:11:20.429,see it on the bottom of the screen below our name.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
299,00:11:20.513,00:11:22.556,here's another slogan right below that one.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
300,00:11:22.640,00:11:25.142,what are you worried about? come get fake doors.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
301,00:11:25.226,00:11:27.144,"get in here quick, get out quicker",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
302,00:11:27.228,00:11:28.937,with an arm of fake doors in your arms.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
303,00:11:29.022,00:11:31.440,"okay, okay, you can change it.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
304,00:11:31.524,00:11:33.984,"[ yawns] i hate mamumanums-days,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
305,00:11:34.069,00:11:36.487,and i really could go for some enchiladas.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
306,00:11:36.571,00:11:38.906,"morty: hey, rick, that's pretty cool.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
307,00:11:38.990,00:11:41.825,"it's just like garfield, only instead it's gazorpazorpfield.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
308,00:11:41.910,00:11:44.536,"hey, isn't gazorpazorp where those sex robots came from?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
309,00:11:44.621,00:11:46.580,remember that whole thing?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
310,00:11:46.664,00:11:48.582,"yeah. hey, that's a pretty... pretty...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
311,00:11:48.666,00:11:50.125,that's true. that's right.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
312,00:11:50.210,00:11:52.795,yeah. let's watch some more gazorpazorpfield.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
313,00:11:52.879,00:11:54.797,"hey, john. it's me, gazorpazorpfield.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
314,00:11:54.881,00:11:56.632,"boy fuck you, john,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
315,00:11:56.716,00:11:59.385,"you fuckin' dumb, stupid idiot.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
316,00:11:59.469,00:12:02.388,"come on, gazorpazorpfield. go easy on me, huh?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
317,00:12:02.472,00:12:05.182,"you dumb, stupid, weak,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
318,00:12:05.266,00:12:08.310,"pathetic, white, white,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
319,00:12:08.395,00:12:10.646,uh... guilt...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
320,00:12:10.730,00:12:13.065,white-guilt milquetoast,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
321,00:12:13.149,00:12:15.109,piece of human garbage.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
322,00:12:15.193,00:12:16.473,"geez, gazorpazorpfield, that's...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
323,00:12:16.528,00:12:18.070,"you know, you're pretty mean to me,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
324,00:12:18.154,00:12:19.321,but that takes the cake.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
325,00:12:19.406,00:12:20.989,i don't give a fuck.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
326,00:12:21.074,00:12:23.283,"i'm gazorpazorp-fuckin'-field, bitch.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
327,00:12:23.368,00:12:25.619,now give me my fucking enchiladas.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
328,00:12:25.703,00:12:27.913,"hey, rick, you know, did they use bill murray for this?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
329,00:12:27.997,00:12:29.456,sounds a lot like bill murray.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
330,00:12:29.541,00:12:30.916,"no, morty, it's lorenzo music.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
331,00:12:31.000,00:12:32.584,"in this reality, he's still alive.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
332,00:12:32.669,00:12:34.420,"oh, okay. was his name ""lorenzo music""?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
333,00:12:34.504,00:12:35.963,"yeah, i'm pretty sure.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
334,00:12:36.047,00:12:37.923,"he also did the voice of that one guy from ""ghostbusters,""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
335,00:12:38.007,00:12:40.050,which is really strange because it's the same character,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
336,00:12:40.135,00:12:41.260,bill murray played in the movie.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
337,00:12:41.344,00:12:42.719,"but then, when they made the movie,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
338,00:12:42.804,00:12:44.847,bill murray did the voice of gazorpazorp...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
339,00:12:44.931,00:12:46.891,"- or garfield, i mean. - that's pretty cool, rick.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
340,00:12:46.933,00:12:48.767,"so all that happened in this reality, too?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
341,00:12:48.852,00:12:49.935,i don't know.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
342,00:12:50.019,00:12:51.478,"just making conversation with you, morty.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
343,00:12:51.563,00:12:52.938,"what, you think i'm a... i'm...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
344,00:12:53.022,00:12:55.065,i know everything about everything?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
345,00:12:55.150,00:12:57.234,did you really talk me out of the abortion?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
346,00:12:57.318,00:13:00.487,"well, we... we blew a tire on the way to the clinic.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
347,00:13:00.572,00:13:03.866,"i think, in my head, i was doing it all for the kids.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
348,00:13:03.950,00:13:07.369,and now the first kid is going to do something with turquoise.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
349,00:13:07.454,00:13:09.496,[ sighs ] which is either code for crystal meth,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
350,00:13:09.581,00:13:11.373,or a gateway to it.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
351,00:13:11.458,00:13:13.500,so we didn't do the kids any favors.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
352,00:13:13.585,00:13:16.378,"so we should stay together for each other and ourselves,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
353,00:13:16.463,00:13:18.255,or...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
354,00:13:18.339,00:13:20.174,or...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
355,00:13:21.468,00:13:24.595,"man, woman, and now trunkman?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
356,00:13:24.679,00:13:26.513,we know science has created men that have a trunk,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
357,00:13:26.598,00:13:28.140,that allows them to have sex with both,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
358,00:13:28.224,00:13:30.225,male and female partners.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
359,00:13:30.310,00:13:32.519,but we don't like the idea of these people getting married.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
360,00:13:32.604,00:13:35.314,"put a line in the sand, everybody.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
361,00:13:35.398,00:13:37.107,"vote ""no"" on proposition xw2.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
362,00:13:37.192,00:13:39.526,the act that says trunkpeople can get married.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
363,00:13:39.611,00:13:40.903,who needs it?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
364,00:13:40.987,00:13:42.404,not on my watch.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
365,00:13:42.489,00:13:46.283,paid for by michael denny and the denny singers.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
366,00:13:46.367,00:13:48.410,"hi. i'm a trunkperson, and i want...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
367,00:13:48.495,00:13:51.163,"i feel love in my heart, too, just like you.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
368,00:13:51.247,00:13:52.998,i wanna be able to express that love,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
369,00:13:53.082,00:13:54.791,with both a man and a woman.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
370,00:13:54.876,00:13:56.293,and i won't be able to,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
371,00:13:56.377,00:13:58.629,if denny and the denny singers get their way.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
372,00:13:58.713,00:14:01.131,"hey, let the trunkpeople have sex and get married, huh?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
373,00:14:01.216,00:14:03.842,paid for by trunkpeople.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
374,00:14:03.927,00:14:06.011,"oh, i love me strawberry sniggles.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
375,00:14:06.095,00:14:08.138,"ooh, i hope nobody ever gets my hands on me",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
376,00:14:08.223,00:14:11.433,and tries to steal my strawberry smiggles.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
377,00:14:11.518,00:14:12.918,"i'm gonna eat every last one of them,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
378,00:14:12.977,00:14:14.895,"because... and then they'll be in my stomach,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
379,00:14:14.979,00:14:16.980,and nobody will ever be able to eat them.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
380,00:14:17.065,00:14:19.441,"except for me, because they'll be all inside my stomach.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
381,00:14:19.526,00:14:23.820,"um, my name is mr. tophat jones,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
382,00:14:23.905,00:14:25.656,and god forbid anyone ever take my sner...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
383,00:14:25.740,00:14:27.449,little-people snibbles.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
384,00:14:27.534,00:14:28.951,i'm keeping them all for me.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
385,00:14:29.035,00:14:30.994,mmm. mmm.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
386,00:14:31.079,00:14:33.038,last bite. mmm.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
387,00:14:33.122,00:14:35.040,"oh, now they're all resting comfortably in my stomach.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
388,00:14:35.124,00:14:36.583,"ooh, am i feeling good.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
389,00:14:36.668,00:14:38.877,no! get away from me! get away from me!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
390,00:14:38.962,00:14:40.879,there's no more strawberry snibbles... no!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
391,00:14:40.964,00:14:42.548,"[ chokes, sputters]",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
392,00:14:42.632,00:14:44.466,jesus christ!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
393,00:14:44.551,00:14:46.134,jesus christ! it hurts!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
394,00:14:46.219,00:14:47.636,my entrails are out!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
395,00:14:47.720,00:14:49.179,why would you even want to eat these?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
396,00:14:49.264,00:14:51.348,they're soaked with my stomach acid.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
397,00:14:51.432,00:14:53.600,"oh, jesus christ, lord, savior,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
398,00:14:53.685,00:14:55.477,"and spirit, save me.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
399,00:14:55.562,00:14:57.187,take me to the light.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
400,00:14:57.272,00:14:58.939,"oh, my god. i see demons.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
401,00:14:59.023,00:15:00.482,i see demons are coming!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
402,00:15:00.567,00:15:02.192,"geez, rick. oh, my god.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
403,00:15:02.277,00:15:03.637,"that's some pretty hard-core stuff,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
404,00:15:03.653,00:15:05.571,"you know, for a cereal commercial.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
405,00:15:05.655,00:15:08.156,"well, morty... i mean, you wanna sell boxes of cereal,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
406,00:15:08.241,00:15:09.950,you gotta pump the gas a little.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
407,00:15:10.034,00:15:11.660,"pedal to the metal, morty.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
408,00:15:11.744,00:15:15.080,"in a world where muscular mannies are coming,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
409,00:15:15.164,00:15:16.748,"and they're coming strong,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
410,00:15:16.833,00:15:20.377,there's only three unmuscular michaels.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
411,00:15:20.461,00:15:22.629,get down. hurry. run.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
412,00:15:22.714,00:15:24.172,[ screeching],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
413,00:15:24.257,00:15:28.385,"and that's when real turbulent juice is coming,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
414,00:15:28.469,00:15:31.096,and you got to take care of it.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
415,00:15:31.180,00:15:33.515,"with turbulent juice, turbulent tables,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
416,00:15:33.600,00:15:37.269,no room is safe from the turbulent power,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
417,00:15:37.353,00:15:39.396,of turbulent juice.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
418,00:15:39.480,00:15:41.398,"- what in the hell? - sex sells, morty.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
419,00:15:41.482,00:15:43.400,sex sells what?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
420,00:15:43.484,00:15:45.986,"was that a movie or, like, does it clean stuff?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
421,00:15:46.070,00:15:47.487,"- [ sighs ] - hey, dad.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
422,00:15:47.572,00:15:48.989,- god. - what's going on?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
423,00:15:49.073,00:15:50.833,"well, your mother and i are gonna be spending",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
424,00:15:50.867,00:15:52.409,"some time apart, morty.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
425,00:15:52.493,00:15:54.411,and your sister found out she was an unwanted pregnancy.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
426,00:15:54.495,00:15:57.247,"- what? - speaking of [burps] what,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
427,00:15:57.332,00:16:00.626,"morty, [burps] what should we watch next?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
428,00:16:00.710,00:16:02.461,what about this?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
429,00:16:02.545,00:16:04.421,"babylegs, you're a good detective.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
430,00:16:04.505,00:16:06.965,"but not good enough, because of your baby legs.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
431,00:16:07.050,00:16:08.967,so i'm partnering you up with regularlegs.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
432,00:16:09.052,00:16:10.427,"hey, there.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
433,00:16:10.511,00:16:12.429,"detective, i'm... this is upsetting to me",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
434,00:16:12.513,00:16:15.265,because i feel like i don't need no regular-leg partner.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
435,00:16:15.350,00:16:17.059,"babylegs, don't talk back to me.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
436,00:16:17.143,00:16:18.560,"good luck, you two.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
437,00:16:18.645,00:16:20.604,there's a criminal to kill. [ slurps],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
438,00:16:20.688,00:16:22.648,"wow, you sure found this guy quick.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
439,00:16:22.732,00:16:24.650,"uh, yeah, because i'm a good detective.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
440,00:16:24.734,00:16:26.443,"look, babylegs. it's the criminal.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
441,00:16:26.527,00:16:28.195,"oh, fuck it. i'm the killer. i'm running.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
442,00:16:28.279,00:16:29.279,i'm running real quick.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
443,00:16:29.364,00:16:31.281,"babylegs, here we go!",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
444,00:16:31.366,00:16:33.158,[trilling ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
445,00:16:33.242,00:16:35.827,that's the sound i make when i'm trying to run fast.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
446,00:16:35.912,00:16:37.621,[trilling ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
447,00:16:37.705,00:16:39.456,"all right, i'm not gonna get him.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
448,00:16:39.540,00:16:41.458,i just learned a real valuable lesson.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
449,00:16:41.542,00:16:43.168,"i'm coming, babylegs.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
450,00:16:43.252,00:16:45.045,i'm... regularlegs.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
451,00:16:45.129,00:16:46.672,[ grunts ] we got him.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
452,00:16:46.756,00:16:48.340,"hey, that was good teamwork.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
453,00:16:48.424,00:16:50.217,"babylegs and regularlegs,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
454,00:16:50.301,00:16:52.219,i'm proud of you two for working together.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
455,00:16:52.303,00:16:54.221,"and, babylegs, i know it was hard for you",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
456,00:16:54.305,00:16:56.682,"to come to the conclusion that you need a partner,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
457,00:16:56.766,00:16:58.266,but i'm proud of you that you did it.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
458,00:16:58.351,00:16:59.351,"hey, thanks, chief.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
459,00:16:59.394,00:17:01.061,now get the fuck out of here.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
460,00:17:01.145,00:17:02.646,"pretty cool, huh, morty?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
461,00:17:02.730,00:17:04.231,oh. - i thought it was cool.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
462,00:17:04.315,00:17:07.693,"i don't give a fuck what you think, jerry.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
463,00:17:07.777,00:17:08.777,[ click ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
464,00:17:11.155,00:17:14.574,"hey, uh, y-you doing okay?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
465,00:17:14.659,00:17:16.243,"i kind of know how you feel, summer.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
466,00:17:16.327,00:17:18.120,"no, you don't. you're the little brother.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
467,00:17:18.204,00:17:19.924,you're not the cause of your parents misery.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
468,00:17:19.956,00:17:22.624,you're just a symptom of it.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
469,00:17:22.709,00:17:24.669,"- can i show you something? - morty, no offense...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
470,00:17:24.711,00:17:26.712,but a drawing of me you made when you were eight,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
471,00:17:26.796,00:17:28.380,isn't gonna make me feel like less of an accident.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
472,00:17:28.464,00:17:31.216,that out there? that's my grave.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
473,00:17:31.300,00:17:33.927,"- wait, what? - on one of our adventures...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
474,00:17:34.011,00:17:36.722,"rick and i basically destroyed the whole world,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
475,00:17:36.806,00:17:39.725,"so we bailed on that reality, and we came to this one.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
476,00:17:39.809,00:17:42.227,"because in this one, the world wasn't destroyed.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
477,00:17:42.311,00:17:44.438,"and in this one, we were dead.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
478,00:17:44.522,00:17:46.362,"so we came here and... and we buried ourselves,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
479,00:17:46.399,00:17:48.233,and we took their place.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
480,00:17:48.317,00:17:50.360,"and every morning, summer, i eat breakfast",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
481,00:17:50.445,00:17:54.239,20 yards away from my own rotting corpse.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
482,00:17:54.323,00:17:56.074,so you're not my brother?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
483,00:17:56.159,00:17:57.784,i'm better than your brother.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
484,00:17:57.869,00:17:59.549,i'm a version of your brother you can trust,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
485,00:17:59.579,00:18:01.496,"when he says ""don't run.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
486,00:18:01.581,00:18:04.124,nobody exists on purpose. nobody belongs anywhere.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
487,00:18:04.208,00:18:06.543,everybody's gonna die.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
488,00:18:06.627,00:18:10.297,come watch tv.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
489,00:18:10.381,00:18:12.632,mrs. sullivan always planned,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
490,00:18:12.717,00:18:15.135,to leave everything to her cats.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
491,00:18:15.219,00:18:18.638,"but sometimes, plans need a helping paw.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
492,00:18:18.723,00:18:20.640,[thunder rumbles],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
493,00:18:20.725,00:18:22.267,what are the kitties to do,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
494,00:18:22.351,00:18:24.561,but buckle together and work as a team?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
495,00:18:24.645,00:18:27.522,"mrs. sullivan, i... please, forgive me for being forward,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
496,00:18:27.607,00:18:29.065,but your eyes are so beautiful.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
497,00:18:29.150,00:18:30.650,[ cats meow],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
498,00:18:30.735,00:18:32.778,wait. this is an actual movie?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
499,00:18:32.862,00:18:35.280,"this fall, sparks will fly...",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
500,00:18:35.364,00:18:37.115,"[ moaning, cats meowing]",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
501,00:18:37.200,00:18:39.701,mrs. [moans] sullivan. ohh.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
502,00:18:39.786,00:18:41.828,between one guy who can't get a break...,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
503,00:18:41.913,00:18:44.164,"there's something about you, mrs. sullivan.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
504,00:18:44.248,00:18:47.042,and nine cats who break all the rules.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
505,00:18:47.126,00:18:48.251,[ cats meow],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
506,00:18:48.336,00:18:49.961,"""last will and testi-meow:",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
507,00:18:50.046,00:18:52.547,"weekend at dead cat lady's house ii.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
508,00:18:52.632,00:18:55.008,"well, somebody in hollywood just lost their job.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
509,00:18:55.092,00:18:56.843,written and directed by jerry smith.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
510,00:18:56.928,00:18:59.304,"i wrote and directed that? what am i, nuts?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
511,00:18:59.388,00:19:01.264,"oh, hey, morty. you just missed a preview",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
512,00:19:01.349,00:19:02.891,"for your dad's ""citizen kane.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
513,00:19:02.975,00:19:04.351,doesn't matter.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
514,00:19:04.435,00:19:06.019,"hey, if your mother and i had to split custody,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
515,00:19:06.103,00:19:07.646,who would you guys chose?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
516,00:19:07.730,00:19:09.314,doesn't matter.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
517,00:19:09.398,00:19:12.108,breaking news... academy award-winning actor jerry smith,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
518,00:19:12.193,00:19:14.861,is leading police on a slow-speed pursuit,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
519,00:19:14.946,00:19:16.905,after suffering an apparent breakdown.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
520,00:19:16.989,00:19:18.615,don't even think about it.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
521,00:19:18.699,00:19:20.617,"come on. are you kidding me, jerry?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
522,00:19:20.701,00:19:22.536,it's just a bunch of dumb tabloid crap.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
523,00:19:22.620,00:19:26.248,"it's my life, and we're watching it.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
524,00:19:26.332,00:19:29.876,"you did it, beth. you really nailed it.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
525,00:19:29.961,00:19:34.297,[burps] you're a surgeon... a human surgeon.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
526,00:19:34.382,00:19:37.217,"yay, you win. [ slurps ]",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
527,00:19:37.301,00:19:38.885,where the hell am i going?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
528,00:19:38.970,00:19:41.054,"wh... what are you asking me for, jerry?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
529,00:19:41.138,00:19:43.223,[burps] i'm sitting here [burps] trying to figure out,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
530,00:19:43.307,00:19:44.891,why the cops don't just take you out.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
531,00:19:44.976,00:19:47.060,i mean [burps] they got a clear shot to your head.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
532,00:19:47.144,00:19:49.521,i can't believe our tax dollars pay for this.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
533,00:19:51.023,00:19:53.108,[ doorbell rings ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
534,00:19:57.738,00:19:59.072,jerry?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
535,00:19:59.156,00:20:01.408,jerry smith?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
536,00:20:01.492,00:20:04.077,"beth sanchez, i have been in love with you since high school.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
537,00:20:04.161,00:20:06.037,i hate acting. i hate cocaine.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
538,00:20:06.122,00:20:07.622,i hate kristen stewart.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
539,00:20:07.707,00:20:09.374,"i wish you hadn't gotten that abortion,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
540,00:20:09.458,00:20:13.879,and i've never stopped thinking about what might have been.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
541,00:20:13.963,00:20:18.508,♪ give me a name ♪,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
542,00:20:18.593,00:20:24.264,♪ hear my faith ♪,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
543,00:20:24.348,00:20:29.352,♪ seal my fate ♪,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
544,00:20:31.063,00:20:36.776,♪ and when you breathe ♪,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
545,00:20:36.861,00:20:39.279,♪ you breathe for two ♪,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
546,00:20:39.363,00:20:41.043,"hey, ""ball fondlers""? huh, ""ball fondlers""?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
547,00:20:41.073,00:20:42.713,"yeah, i could go for some ""ball fondlers.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
548,00:20:42.783,00:20:44.242,"yeah, ""ball fondlers.""",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
549,00:20:44.327,00:20:45.744,[ metal music plays],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
550,00:20:45.828,00:20:47.787,aah!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
551,00:21:20.029,00:21:21.863,"ha ha, hamster in butt world weather is done,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
552,00:21:21.948,00:21:23.573,and now it's sports time coming up.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
553,00:21:23.658,00:21:25.450,"- oh, hello, there. - good day to you, miss.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
554,00:21:25.534,00:21:27.410,"beth: so, the hamsters live",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
555,00:21:27.495,00:21:28.870,inside the rectums of those people?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
556,00:21:28.955,00:21:30.580,"yes, sweetie. that's where the live.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
557,00:21:30.665,00:21:31.998,"well, how does that work?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
558,00:21:32.083,00:21:34.000,"i mean, do the butts look like little apartments inside?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
559,00:21:34.085,00:21:35.585,"yeah, and can they leave the butt",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
560,00:21:35.670,00:21:37.295,"and, like, walk around on their own?",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
561,00:21:37.380,00:21:40.006,i don't know. i'm watching the same thing you guys are.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
562,00:21:40.091,00:21:41.883,"grandpa rick, if they leave the butt",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
563,00:21:41.968,00:21:43.510,"and the person wanders off,",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
564,00:21:43.594,00:21:45.178,how would they find their butt person again?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
565,00:21:45.262,00:21:47.180,"i don't know, summer. i can't even hear the tv.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
566,00:21:47.264,00:21:48.640,"all right, that's it.",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
567,00:21:48.724,00:21:50.100,we're just gonna go there so you idiots,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
568,00:21:50.184,00:21:51.893,can ask your stupid questions all day.,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
569,00:21:51.978,00:21:54.145,"ooh, family vacation!",S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
570,00:21:54.230,00:21:56.189,[ camera shutter clicks ],S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
571,00:22:08.577,00:22:09.953,did you get any of that?,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
572,00:22:10.037,00:22:11.997,it's a good-a show!,S01,E08,Rixty Minutes
1,00:00:32.390,00:00:33.690,principal vagina here,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
2,00:00:33.790,00:00:34.990,don't let the name fool you.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
3,00:00:34.990,00:00:36.220,i'm very much in charge,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
4,00:00:36.220,00:00:37.450,reminding you that tonight is,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
5,00:00:37.450,00:00:39.020,our annual flu season dance.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
6,00:00:39.020,00:00:40.250,i don't know how many times i,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
7,00:00:40.250,00:00:41.420,"have to say this, but if you",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
8,00:00:41.420,00:00:42.520,"have the flu, stay home.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
9,00:00:42.520,00:00:43.420,hey.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
10,00:00:43.420,00:00:44.920,the flu season dance is about,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
11,00:00:44.920,00:00:45.950,"awareness, not celebration.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
12,00:00:45.950,00:00:47.150,morty: [sighs],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
13,00:00:47.150,00:00:47.150,you don't bring dead babies,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
14,00:00:47.850,00:00:48.985,to passover.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
15,00:00:49.020,00:00:50.550,morty: okay. here we go.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
16,00:00:50.550,00:00:52.720,"h-hey, jessica.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
17,00:00:52.720,00:00:53.320,uh...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
18,00:00:53.320,00:00:54.550,"what's up, morty?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
19,00:00:54.550,00:00:55.220,[sneezes],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
20,00:00:55.220,00:00:56.220,what are you doing?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
21,00:00:56.220,00:00:57.049,morty: um...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
22,00:00:57.049,00:00:58.190,"wait, wait.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
23,00:00:58.190,00:01:00.150,were you about to talk... to her?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
24,00:01:00.150,00:01:01.850,"morty: well... i mean, i was",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
25,00:01:01.850,00:01:02.920,thinking about it.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
26,00:01:02.920,00:01:04.819,"dude, stay in your league.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
27,00:01:04.819,00:01:05.989,look at how hot she is.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
28,00:01:05.989,00:01:07.250,you don't see me going to a,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
29,00:01:07.250,00:01:08.819,bigger school in a wealthier,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
30,00:01:08.819,00:01:09.819,district and hitting on their,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
31,00:01:09.819,00:01:10.620,prettiest girl.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
32,00:01:10.620,00:01:11.790,"gee, thanks, brad.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
33,00:01:11.790,00:01:13.319,i throw balls far.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
34,00:01:13.319,00:01:14.989,you want good words?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
35,00:01:14.989,00:01:16.550,date a languager.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
36,00:01:16.550,00:01:17.720,jerry: try not to worry about,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
37,00:01:17.720,00:01:18.450,"it, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
38,00:01:18.450,00:01:19.890,"you're a good kid, and there's",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
39,00:01:19.890,00:01:21.019,"not a premium on that right now,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
40,00:01:21.019,00:01:22.120,but you'll be getting girls,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
41,00:01:22.120,00:01:22.120,sometime after brad's out of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
42,00:01:22.849,00:01:23.715,shape.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
43,00:01:23.750,00:01:24.790,morty: [sighing] you're,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
44,00:01:24.790,00:01:26.150,"missing the point, dad.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
45,00:01:26.150,00:01:27.550,i don't want girls.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
46,00:01:27.550,00:01:28.849,i want jessica.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
47,00:01:28.849,00:01:30.790,"jerry: ah, well, i remember",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
48,00:01:30.790,00:01:32.049,feeling that way about a young,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
49,00:01:32.049,00:01:33.750,"lady named ""your mom,"" and",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
50,00:01:33.750,00:01:35.049,that's not an urban diss.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
51,00:01:35.049,00:01:36.150,your mom was my jessica.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
52,00:01:36.150,00:01:36.150,i remember the first time i saw,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
53,00:01:36.849,00:01:37.415,her.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
54,00:01:37.450,00:01:38.085,i thought,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
55,00:01:38.120,00:01:39.250,"rick: ""i should get her",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
56,00:01:39.250,00:01:40.120,"pregnant, and then she'll have",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
57,00:01:40.120,00:01:41.019,"to marry me.""",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
58,00:01:41.019,00:01:42.019,"jerry: i beg your pardon,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
59,00:01:42.019,00:01:43.120,rick inappropriate.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
60,00:01:43.120,00:01:44.319,"rick: sorry, please proceed",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
61,00:01:44.319,00:01:45.420,with your story about banging my,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
62,00:01:45.420,00:01:46.750,daughter in high school.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
63,00:01:46.750,00:01:47.890,i'm not sure you want to take,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
64,00:01:47.890,00:01:48.650,"romantic advice from this guy,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
65,00:01:48.650,00:01:49.390,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
66,00:01:49.390,00:01:50.390,his marriage is hanging from a,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
67,00:01:50.390,00:01:51.090,thread.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
68,00:01:51.090,00:01:51.090,"jerry: my marriage is fine,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
69,00:01:51.950,00:01:52.784,thank you.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
70,00:01:52.819,00:01:53.950,"rick: jerry, it's your",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
71,00:01:53.950,00:01:55.150,house whatever you say it is,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
72,00:01:55.150,00:01:56.319,is how it is but i think a,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
73,00:01:56.319,00:01:57.390,blind man could see that beth is,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
74,00:01:57.390,00:01:58.489,looking for the door.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
75,00:01:58.489,00:01:59.790,"i barely have a reason to care,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
76,00:01:59.790,00:02:00.650,and even inoticed.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
77,00:02:00.650,00:02:01.790,"morty: come on, rick!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
78,00:02:01.790,00:02:02.590,don't talk about my parents like,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
79,00:02:02.590,00:02:03.319,that.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
80,00:02:03.319,00:02:04.420,"rick: listen, morty, i hate",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
81,00:02:04.420,00:02:05.720,"to break it to you, but what",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
82,00:02:05.720,00:02:06.920,"people call ""love"" is just a",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
83,00:02:06.920,00:02:08.220,chemical reaction that compels,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
84,00:02:08.220,00:02:09.389,animals to breed.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
85,00:02:09.389,00:02:11.050,"it hits hard, morty, then it",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
86,00:02:11.050,00:02:12.520,"slowly fades, leaving you",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
87,00:02:12.520,00:02:13.990,stranded in a failing marriage.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
88,00:02:13.990,00:02:14.919,i did it.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
89,00:02:14.919,00:02:16.020,your parents are gonna do it.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
90,00:02:16.020,00:02:17.120,"break the cycle, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
91,00:02:17.120,00:02:18.650,rise above. focus on science.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
92,00:02:18.650,00:02:20.990,[slurps],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
93,00:02:20.990,00:02:22.190,"morty: all right, well, i'm",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
94,00:02:22.190,00:02:22.190,gonna go get dressed for the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
95,00:02:22.990,00:02:23.914,dance.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
96,00:02:23.949,00:02:25.250,"jerry: yeah, i'm just going",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
97,00:02:25.250,00:02:27.490,to... check on your mom.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
98,00:02:29.349,00:02:31.150,"rick: morty, hand me that",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
99,00:02:31.150,00:02:32.819,"screwdriver, huh?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
100,00:02:32.819,00:02:33.949,i'm almost finished making my,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
101,00:02:33.949,00:02:34.949,"ionic defibulizer, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
102,00:02:34.949,00:02:36.050,it's gonna be great.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
103,00:02:36.050,00:02:37.289,"morty: hey, listen, rick.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
104,00:02:37.289,00:02:38.819,"y-y-you know how you said that,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
105,00:02:38.819,00:02:39.990,"you know, love is a chemical and",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
106,00:02:39.990,00:02:41.150,all that stuff from earlier?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
107,00:02:41.150,00:02:42.289,"well, i was thinking, you know,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
108,00:02:42.289,00:02:43.849,w-w could you make some sort,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
109,00:02:43.849,00:02:45.250,of chemical thing happen inside,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
110,00:02:45.250,00:02:46.819,"of jessica's mind, you know, so",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
111,00:02:46.819,00:02:48.150,where she falls in love with me,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
112,00:02:48.150,00:02:49.449,and all that sort of thing?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
113,00:02:49.449,00:02:50.319,"you know, like, maybe make some",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
114,00:02:50.319,00:02:50.319,sort of love potion or,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
115,00:02:50.949,00:02:51.814,something?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
116,00:02:51.849,00:02:52.690,"rick: morty, that's such a",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
117,00:02:52.690,00:02:53.550,poor use of my time.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
118,00:02:53.550,00:02:54.319,it's beneath me.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
119,00:02:54.319,00:02:55.389,hand me the screwdriver.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
120,00:02:55.389,00:02:56.190,morty: you know what?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
121,00:02:56.190,00:02:57.090,"no, rick!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
122,00:02:57.090,00:02:57.090,i'm not gonna hand you the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
123,00:02:57.949,00:02:58.814,screwdriver.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
124,00:02:58.849,00:02:59.949,i-i'm not gonna hand you,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
125,00:02:59.949,00:03:01.050,"anything ever again, rick!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
126,00:03:01.050,00:03:02.349,i'm always helping you with this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
127,00:03:02.349,00:03:03.789,and that and the other thing.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
128,00:03:03.789,00:03:05.819,"w-w-w-w-w-what about me, rick?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
129,00:03:05.819,00:03:07.349,w-w-w-w-why can't you just help,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
130,00:03:07.349,00:03:08.919,me out once once for once?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
131,00:03:08.919,00:03:09.949,rick: [groans],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
132,00:03:09.949,00:03:11.220,"you're growing up fast, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
133,00:03:11.220,00:03:12.490,you're growing into a real big,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
134,00:03:12.490,00:03:13.789,thorn straight up into my ass.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
135,00:03:13.789,00:03:14.889,[clears throat],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
136,00:03:14.889,00:03:16.289,"listen, this is called oxytocin.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
137,00:03:16.289,00:03:17.750,i extracted it from a vole.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
138,00:03:17.750,00:03:18.690,"do you know what a vole is,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
139,00:03:18.690,00:03:19.690,morty?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
140,00:03:19.690,00:03:20.750,you know what a vole is?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
141,00:03:20.750,00:03:21.819,it's a it's a rodent that,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
142,00:03:21.819,00:03:22.949,"mates for life, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
143,00:03:22.949,00:03:24.220,this is the chemical released in,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
144,00:03:24.220,00:03:25.319,"a mammal's brain, you know, that",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
145,00:03:25.319,00:03:26.490,makes it fall in love.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
146,00:03:26.490,00:03:27.919,"all right, morty, i just got to",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
147,00:03:27.919,00:03:28.720,[burps] combine it with some of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
148,00:03:28.720,00:03:29.349,your dna.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
149,00:03:29.349,00:03:30.250,"morty: oh, well, okay.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
150,00:03:30.250,00:03:31.190,[zipper opens],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
151,00:03:31.190,00:03:32.250,"rick: a hair, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
152,00:03:32.250,00:03:33.389,i need one of your hairs.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
153,00:03:33.389,00:03:34.120,"this isn't ""game of thrones.""",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
154,00:03:34.120,00:03:35.690,morty: ow!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
155,00:03:35.690,00:03:36.990,"rick: all right, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
156,00:03:36.990,00:03:38.349,whoever you smear this stuff on,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
157,00:03:38.349,00:03:39.720,"will fall in love with you, and",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
158,00:03:39.720,00:03:40.789,"only you, forever.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
159,00:03:40.789,00:03:41.849,"are you happy now, morty?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
160,00:03:41.849,00:03:42.889,"morty: heck, yeah!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
161,00:03:42.889,00:03:44.289,"thank you, grandpa rick.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
162,00:03:44.289,00:03:45.720,"hey, there's no... dangers or",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
163,00:03:45.720,00:03:46.590,"anything, or side effects,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
164,00:03:46.590,00:03:47.319,right?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
165,00:03:47.319,00:03:48.389,"rick: w-w-w-what am i, a",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
166,00:03:48.389,00:03:49.319,hack?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
167,00:03:49.319,00:03:53.789,"go nuts, morty. it's foolproof.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
168,00:03:53.789,00:03:56.490,"eh, unless she has the flu.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
169,00:03:56.490,00:03:57.819,"jerry: beth, do y-you still",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
170,00:03:57.819,00:03:58.789,love me?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
171,00:03:58.789,00:04:00.020,"beth: ugh, what kind of",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
172,00:04:00.020,00:04:01.250,question is that?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
173,00:04:01.250,00:04:02.289,"jerry: the ""yes or no"" kind?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
174,00:04:02.289,00:04:03.319,[laughs nervously],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
175,00:04:03.319,00:04:04.449,"beth: jerry, do you want",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
176,00:04:04.449,00:04:05.650,homeless people to have homes?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
177,00:04:05.650,00:04:06.449,jerry: yes.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
178,00:04:06.449,00:04:07.490,beth: are you gonna build,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
179,00:04:07.490,00:04:07.490,them?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
180,00:04:07.919,00:04:08.914,jerry: no.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
181,00:04:08.949,00:04:09.819,beth: then what good was the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
182,00:04:09.819,00:04:10.789,"""yes""?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
183,00:04:10.789,00:04:12.020,"jerry: wait, i-is loving me",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
184,00:04:12.020,00:04:12.020,the house or the homeless,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
185,00:04:12.889,00:04:13.754,people?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
186,00:04:13.789,00:04:14.990,"beth: loving you is work,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
187,00:04:14.990,00:04:16.889,"jerry hard work, like",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
188,00:04:16.889,00:04:18.990,building a homeless shelter,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
189,00:04:18.990,00:04:20.389,nobody wants to say no to doing,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
190,00:04:20.389,00:04:21.519,"it, but some people put the work",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
191,00:04:21.519,00:04:22.120,in.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
192,00:04:22.120,00:04:23.220,"so, what do you say?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
193,00:04:23.220,00:04:24.420,do you see me working here?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
194,00:04:24.420,00:04:25.589,does this conversation seem,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
195,00:04:25.589,00:04:26.250,tedious to me?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
196,00:04:26.250,00:04:27.449,jerry: sort of.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
197,00:04:27.449,00:04:28.850,beth: then i obviously sort,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
198,00:04:28.850,00:04:29.750,"oflove you, don't i?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
199,00:04:29.750,00:04:30.889,[cellphone chimes],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
200,00:04:30.889,00:04:31.920,"so stop asking, and maybe i'll",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
201,00:04:31.920,00:04:33.019,love you more.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
202,00:04:33.019,00:04:34.089,"crap, they need me at the horse",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
203,00:04:34.089,00:04:35.019,hospital.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
204,00:04:35.019,00:04:36.290,jerry: puh! this late?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
205,00:04:36.290,00:04:37.550,beth: the racetrack had a,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
206,00:04:37.550,00:04:38.389,starlight derby.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
207,00:04:38.389,00:04:39.790,there was a seven-horse,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
208,00:04:39.790,00:04:40.690,"collision, and davin's there",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
209,00:04:40.690,00:04:42.250,alone.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
210,00:04:42.250,00:04:43.389,jerry: [thinking] davin.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
211,00:04:43.389,00:04:44.690,davin.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
212,00:04:44.690,00:04:46.850,davin! davin.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
213,00:04:46.850,00:04:49.190,davin! davin!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
214,00:04:49.190,00:04:52.050,davin! davin!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
215,00:04:52.050,00:04:52.050,"[rapping] ♪ ♪ flu, yo ♪ ♪",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
216,00:04:52.990,00:04:54.020,♪ ♪ you got to be aware ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
217,00:04:53.990,00:04:55.050,♪ ♪ aware of all the flu ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
218,00:04:55.050,00:04:56.490,♪ ♪ up in the air ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
219,00:04:56.490,00:04:57.550,♪ ♪ i'm-a get me a shot ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
220,00:04:57.550,00:04:58.449,♪ ♪ and make the flu go away ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
221,00:04:58.449,00:04:59.819,♪ ♪ flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
222,00:04:59.819,00:05:01.449,♪ ♪ just rapping away ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
223,00:05:01.449,00:05:03.420,"♪ ♪ yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
224,00:05:03.420,00:05:04.519,♪ ♪ it's a flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
225,00:05:04.519,00:05:05.720,"morty: hey, there, jessica.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
226,00:05:05.720,00:05:08.949,"whoa! oh, whoopsie!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
227,00:05:08.949,00:05:09.990,"oh, my god.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
228,00:05:09.990,00:05:11.750,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
229,00:05:11.750,00:05:13.750,you look really nice tonight.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
230,00:05:13.750,00:05:15.319,"morty: wow, thanks.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
231,00:05:15.319,00:05:16.420,"i love you, morty!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
232,00:05:16.420,00:05:18.589,i love you so much it burns!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
233,00:05:18.589,00:05:20.120,"morty: oh, man!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
234,00:05:20.120,00:05:21.750,"i-i love you too, jessica!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
235,00:05:21.750,00:05:22.850,[spits],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
236,00:05:22.850,00:05:23.920,"is this punk bothering you,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
237,00:05:23.920,00:05:24.889,jessica?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
238,00:05:24.889,00:05:26.149,"leave him alone, jerk!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
239,00:05:26.149,00:05:27.790,i'm in love with him!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
240,00:05:27.790,00:05:28.720,he is more man than you will,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
241,00:05:28.720,00:05:29.190,ever be!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
242,00:05:29.190,00:05:30.250,[sneezes],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
243,00:05:30.250,00:05:31.319,[rapping] # # this is about,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
244,00:05:31.319,00:05:32.519,flu awareness ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
245,00:05:32.519,00:05:33.990,♪ ♪ got to be aware of the flu in,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
246,00:05:33.990,00:05:35.220,the air-ness ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
247,00:05:35.220,00:05:37.220,"♪ ♪ yo, i'm a flu-hating rapper ♪ ♪",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
248,00:05:37.220,00:05:38.690,"oh, man, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
249,00:05:38.690,00:05:39.750,[sighs],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
250,00:05:39.750,00:05:40.990,i'm really sorry.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
251,00:05:40.990,00:05:42.250,"morty: oh, well, n-no",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
252,00:05:42.250,00:05:43.490,"problem, brad.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
253,00:05:43.490,00:05:44.550,there's something special,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
254,00:05:44.550,00:05:46.190,"about you, morty so special.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
255,00:05:46.190,00:05:47.149,"mmm, yeah.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
256,00:05:47.149,00:05:48.350,"morty: whoa, take it easy!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
257,00:05:48.350,00:05:49.550,get your hands off of him!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
258,00:05:49.550,00:05:50.389,back off!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
259,00:05:50.389,00:05:51.850,i'm trying to be with my man!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
260,00:05:51.850,00:05:52.949,"that's enough, bradley!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
261,00:05:52.949,00:05:53.850,we don't want you injuring your,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
262,00:05:53.850,00:05:54.620,ball-throwing arm.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
263,00:05:54.620,00:05:55.190,"oh, come on,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
264,00:05:55.190,00:05:55.190,principal vagina.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
265,00:05:55.819,00:05:56.414,i just...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
266,00:05:56.449,00:05:57.120,"never leave me, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
267,00:05:57.120,00:05:58.050,never!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
268,00:05:58.050,00:05:59.649,"morty: uh, sure.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
269,00:05:59.649,00:06:01.319,"i mean, o-of course not.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
270,00:06:01.319,00:06:03.019,w-what do you think that was all,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
271,00:06:03.019,00:06:04.089,about?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
272,00:06:04.089,00:06:05.490,who cares? just hold me.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
273,00:06:05.490,00:06:07.690,"let me go! i love you, morty!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
274,00:06:07.690,00:06:08.889,[sneezes],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
275,00:06:08.889,00:06:10.050,let go of me!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
276,00:06:10.050,00:06:11.050,[sneezes],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
277,00:06:11.050,00:06:12.889,morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
278,00:06:17.889,00:06:19.120,jerry: she's gonna be alone,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
279,00:06:19.120,00:06:20.250,with that guy all night.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
280,00:06:20.250,00:06:21.449,"summer: yeah, dad, digging",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
281,00:06:21.449,00:06:22.720,around the insides of horses.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
282,00:06:22.720,00:06:23.149,it's not a very romantic,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
283,00:06:23.149,00:06:24.050,setting.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
284,00:06:24.050,00:06:25.120,"rick: well, summer, there's",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
285,00:06:25.120,00:06:26.319,always the possibility that she,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
286,00:06:26.319,00:06:27.519,made the whole work thing up.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
287,00:06:27.519,00:06:28.750,maybe davin's digging around in,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
288,00:06:28.750,00:06:29.819,herinsides.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
289,00:06:29.819,00:06:31.290,"summer: grandpa, so gross!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
290,00:06:31.290,00:06:32.250,you're talking about my mom.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
291,00:06:32.250,00:06:33.149,"rick: well, she's my",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
292,00:06:33.149,00:06:34.019,"daughter, summer.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
293,00:06:34.019,00:06:35.050,i outrank you.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
294,00:06:35.050,00:06:36.350,"or family means nothing, in",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
295,00:06:36.350,00:06:37.920,which case don't play that card.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
296,00:06:37.920,00:06:38.949,jerry: she's not responding,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
297,00:06:38.949,00:06:39.889,to my texts!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
298,00:06:39.889,00:06:41.050,"summer: careful, dad.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
299,00:06:41.050,00:06:42.149,jealousy turns women off.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
300,00:06:42.149,00:06:43.089,"jerry: well, isn't that",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
301,00:06:43.089,00:06:44.050,convenient?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
302,00:06:44.050,00:06:45.019,rick: not for the men they,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
303,00:06:45.019,00:06:46.290,"cheat on, no.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
304,00:06:46.290,00:06:48.220,"jerry: okay, i'm... going to",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
305,00:06:48.220,00:06:49.819,go out... for some ice cream.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
306,00:06:49.819,00:06:51.319,and maybe stop by the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
307,00:06:51.319,00:06:53.290,hospital... to support my wife...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
308,00:06:53.290,00:06:54.550,with my confidence.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
309,00:06:54.550,00:06:55.790,[door closes],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
310,00:06:55.790,00:06:57.019,"summer: god, grandpa, you're",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
311,00:06:57.019,00:06:57.019,such a dick.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
312,00:06:57.949,00:06:58.519,"rick: i'm sorry, summer.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
313,00:06:59.089,00:06:59.089,your opinion means very little,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
314,00:06:59.850,00:07:00.685,to me.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
315,00:07:00.720,00:07:01.850,how come you're not at this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
316,00:07:01.850,00:07:02.620,stupid dance everyone loves so,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
317,00:07:02.620,00:07:03.190,much?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
318,00:07:03.190,00:07:04.220,summer: screw that.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
319,00:07:04.220,00:07:05.149,i don't want to get sick.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
320,00:07:05.149,00:07:05.149,it's flu season.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
321,00:07:05.949,00:07:06.769,rick: it is?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
322,00:07:06.750,00:07:07.589,summer: yeah.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
323,00:07:07.589,00:07:08.720,rick: uh-oh.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
324,00:07:08.720,00:07:10.750,[hip-hop music plays],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
325,00:07:14.190,00:07:15.490,morty: please just let this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
326,00:07:15.490,00:07:16.019,work out.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
327,00:07:16.019,00:07:16.019,[moans],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
328,00:07:16.949,00:07:18.984,"do it, morty. do it.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
329,00:07:19.019,00:07:20.190,rip my clothes off and mate with,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
330,00:07:20.190,00:07:21.519,me for life!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
331,00:07:21.519,00:07:22.220,[growls],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
332,00:07:22.220,00:07:23.449,morty: um...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
333,00:07:23.449,00:07:24.889,can we maybe go somewhere more,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
334,00:07:24.889,00:07:25.889,private?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
335,00:07:25.889,00:07:27.149,"jessica, get a hold of",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
336,00:07:27.149,00:07:27.149,yourself!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
337,00:07:27.949,00:07:29.389,[grunts],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
338,00:07:29.389,00:07:30.720,you don't deserve to carry,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
339,00:07:30.720,00:07:32.290,morty's genes.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
340,00:07:32.290,00:07:34.519,[rapping] ♪ ♪ i love morty ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
341,00:07:34.519,00:07:36.949,♪ ♪ and i hope morty loves me ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
342,00:07:36.949,00:07:38.790,♪ ♪ i'd like to wrap my arms,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
343,00:07:38.790,00:07:40.190,around him ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
344,00:07:40.190,00:07:41.990,♪ ♪ and feel him inside me ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
345,00:07:41.990,00:07:43.389,"morty: oh, crap.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
346,00:07:43.389,00:07:45.690,[indistinct shouting],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
347,00:07:45.690,00:07:48.420,morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
348,00:07:48.420,00:07:49.449,"rick: morty, come on!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
349,00:07:49.449,00:07:50.519,we got to get you out of here.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
350,00:07:50.519,00:07:51.690,you're not gonna believe this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
351,00:07:51.690,00:07:52.519,because it usually never,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
352,00:07:52.519,00:07:54.120,"happens, but i made a mistake.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
353,00:07:54.120,00:07:55.149,[both panting],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
354,00:07:55.149,00:07:56.050,"come on, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
355,00:07:56.050,00:07:56.050,we got to get out of here.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
356,00:07:56.790,00:07:56.990,come on.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
357,00:07:57.190,00:07:57.190,morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
358,00:07:57.920,00:07:58.720,morty: [wails],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
359,00:07:58.720,00:07:59.589,are you okay?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
360,00:07:59.589,00:08:00.149,morty: i'm fine!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
361,00:08:00.149,00:08:01.120,"oh, good.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
362,00:08:01.120,00:08:02.250,if anything ever happened to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
363,00:08:02.250,00:08:03.889,"you, i would kill myself.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
364,00:08:03.889,00:08:05.790,"i love you bad, mo-mo!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
365,00:08:05.790,00:08:07.649,[all panting],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
366,00:08:07.649,00:08:10.019,[indistinct shouting],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
367,00:08:10.019,00:08:11.220,"morty, the principal and i",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
368,00:08:11.220,00:08:12.490,"have discussed it, a-a-and we're",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
369,00:08:12.490,00:08:13.620,both insecure enough to agree to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
370,00:08:13.620,00:08:14.850,a three-way!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
371,00:08:19.550,00:08:20.719,rick: i didn't realize when i,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
372,00:08:20.889,00:08:21.889,gave you that serum that jessica,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
373,00:08:21.889,00:08:22.889,"had the flu you know,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
374,00:08:22.889,00:08:23.949,t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
375,00:08:23.949,00:08:24.690,been valuable information for,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
376,00:08:24.690,00:08:25.420,"me, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
377,00:08:25.420,00:08:26.190,morty: what the hell is going,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
378,00:08:26.190,00:08:27.120,"on, rick?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
379,00:08:27.120,00:08:28.250,rick: what does it look like?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
380,00:08:28.250,00:08:29.550,t-t-t-the serum is piggybacking,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
381,00:08:29.550,00:08:30.350,on the virus.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
382,00:08:30.350,00:08:31.920,"it's gone airborne, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
383,00:08:31.920,00:08:33.220,"morty: oh, crap.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
384,00:08:33.220,00:08:34.149,"what are we gonna do, rick?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
385,00:08:34.149,00:08:34.149,"rick: it's gonna be fine,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
386,00:08:34.889,00:08:35.685,"morty, relax.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
387,00:08:35.720,00:08:36.919,i whipped up and antidote.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
388,00:08:36.919,00:08:37.750,it's based on praying-mantis,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
389,00:08:37.750,00:08:39.049,dna.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
390,00:08:39.049,00:08:40.019,"you know, praying mantises are",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
391,00:08:40.019,00:08:40.019,"the exact opposite of voles,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
392,00:08:40.649,00:08:41.384,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
393,00:08:41.419,00:08:42.419,"i mean, they they mate once,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
394,00:08:42.419,00:08:43.389,"and then they, you know,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
395,00:08:43.389,00:08:44.389,decapitate the partner.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
396,00:08:44.389,00:08:45.950,"i mean, it's a whole ritual.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
397,00:08:45.950,00:08:47.049,it's really gruesome and totally,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
398,00:08:47.049,00:08:47.049,opposite.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
399,00:08:47.950,00:08:49.055,there's no love at all.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
400,00:08:49.090,00:08:50.350,i-i-i basically mixed this with,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
401,00:08:50.350,00:08:51.919,a more contagious flu virus.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
402,00:08:51.919,00:08:53.250,it should neutralize the whole,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
403,00:08:53.250,00:08:54.490,"thing, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
404,00:08:54.490,00:08:56.049,it'll all be over very shortly.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
405,00:08:56.049,00:08:57.450,[indistinct shouting],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
406,00:09:01.090,00:09:02.254,"uh, by the way, morty, i know",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
407,00:09:02.289,00:09:03.419,"you didn't ask or anything, but",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
408,00:09:03.419,00:09:04.190,i'm not interested in having sex,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
409,00:09:04.190,00:09:05.120,with you.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
410,00:09:05.120,00:09:06.049,"these serums, they don't work on",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
411,00:09:06.049,00:09:06.049,anybody related to you,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
412,00:09:06.750,00:09:08.649,genetically.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
413,00:09:07.590,00:09:10.549,morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
414,00:09:10.549,00:09:12.549,[all groaning],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
415,00:09:21.450,00:09:22.919,"rick: okay, well, sometimes,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
416,00:09:22.919,00:09:23.919,science is more art than,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
417,00:09:23.919,00:09:25.049,"science, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
418,00:09:25.049,00:09:26.289,a lot of people don't get that.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
419,00:09:34.289,00:09:35.620,jerry: [gasps],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
420,00:09:35.620,00:09:38.450,[tires screech],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
421,00:09:38.450,00:09:40.620,come on. are you kidding me?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
422,00:09:40.620,00:09:41.549,hello!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
423,00:09:41.549,00:09:43.590,morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
424,00:09:43.590,00:09:44.690,you're not morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
425,00:09:44.690,00:09:46.519,bring us morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
426,00:09:54.950,00:09:55.919,[gun cocks],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
427,00:09:55.919,00:09:57.389,jerry: nobody's killing me,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
428,00:09:57.389,00:09:58.789,until after i catch my wife with,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
429,00:09:58.789,00:10:00.389,another man.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
430,00:10:00.389,00:10:02.220,i had sex with billy.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
431,00:10:02.220,00:10:03.090,but you were already,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
432,00:10:03.090,00:10:04.049,pregnant!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
433,00:10:04.049,00:10:05.090,"yeah, so what's the worst",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
434,00:10:05.090,00:10:06.220,that could happen?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
435,00:10:06.220,00:10:07.690,"we interrupt ""pregnant baby""",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
436,00:10:07.690,00:10:08.820,with breaking news.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
437,00:10:08.820,00:10:10.320,summer: [groans] come on.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
438,00:10:10.320,00:10:12.019,this just in morty smith's,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
439,00:10:12.019,00:10:13.389,whereabouts are still unknown.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
440,00:10:13.389,00:10:14.519,summer: what the hell?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
441,00:10:14.519,00:10:15.720,the only thing that is known,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
442,00:10:15.720,00:10:17.250,is... how cute he is.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
443,00:10:17.250,00:10:19.090,"i love him so much, i want to",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
444,00:10:19.090,00:10:20.549,make love to him and then eat,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
445,00:10:20.549,00:10:21.490,his head.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
446,00:10:21.490,00:10:22.950,"i love him more than you do,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
447,00:10:22.950,00:10:24.019,harold!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
448,00:10:24.019,00:10:25.590,"you wish, you stupid bitch!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
449,00:10:25.590,00:10:26.620,morty's mine!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
450,00:10:26.620,00:10:27.789,morty's mine!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
451,00:10:27.789,00:10:28.990,meant to be together!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
452,00:10:28.990,00:10:30.549,[speaking arabic],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
453,00:10:30.549,00:10:31.720,morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
454,00:10:31.720,00:10:33.919,[speaking arabic],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
455,00:10:33.919,00:10:38.220,[banging on door],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
456,00:10:38.220,00:10:39.990,where is morty?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
457,00:10:39.990,00:10:42.549,summer: [screams],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
458,00:10:51.220,00:10:52.649,[conversing in native,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
459,00:10:52.649,00:10:53.490,language],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
460,00:10:53.490,00:10:55.250,"morty: oh, my god, rick.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
461,00:10:55.250,00:10:56.549,the whole world is infected!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
462,00:10:56.549,00:10:57.919,"rick: yeah, it's pretty wild",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
463,00:10:57.919,00:10:59.049,how fast that spread.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
464,00:10:59.049,00:11:00.190,i've really outdone myself.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
465,00:11:00.190,00:11:01.389,morty: outdone yourself?!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
466,00:11:01.389,00:11:02.049,w-w a-are are you kidding,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
467,00:11:02.049,00:11:03.049,"me, rick?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
468,00:11:03.049,00:11:04.220,this is not okay!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
469,00:11:04.220,00:11:05.350,not only do they all want to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
470,00:11:05.350,00:11:06.419,"have sex with me, but, you know,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
471,00:11:06.419,00:11:07.190,now they want to eat me,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
472,00:11:07.190,00:11:08.120,afterwards!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
473,00:11:08.120,00:11:09.049,"rick: yeah, i don't know what",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
474,00:11:09.049,00:11:10.120,i was thinking.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
475,00:11:10.120,00:11:10.120,mantises are they opposite of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
476,00:11:10.950,00:11:11.785,voles?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
477,00:11:11.820,00:11:13.019,"i mean, obviously, dna's a",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
478,00:11:13.019,00:11:13.019,little more complicated than,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
479,00:11:13.889,00:11:14.785,that.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
480,00:11:14.820,00:11:15.990,"you know what, though, morty?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
481,00:11:15.990,00:11:16.850,this right here's gonna do the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
482,00:11:16.850,00:11:17.690,"trick, baby.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
483,00:11:17.690,00:11:18.789,it's koala mixed with,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
484,00:11:18.789,00:11:20.850,"rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
485,00:11:20.850,00:11:22.789,"shark, golden retriever, and",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
486,00:11:22.789,00:11:24.419,just a smidge of dinosaur.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
487,00:11:24.419,00:11:25.120,should add up to normal,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
488,00:11:25.120,00:11:25.120,humanity.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
489,00:11:25.950,00:11:26.955,morty: i don't that,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
490,00:11:26.990,00:11:28.090,"doesn't make any sense, rick.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
491,00:11:28.090,00:11:28.090,how does that add up to normal,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
492,00:11:28.850,00:11:29.884,humanity?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
493,00:11:29.919,00:11:30.889,"morty: what, morty, you want",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
494,00:11:30.889,00:11:31.820,me to show you my math?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
495,00:11:31.820,00:11:32.820,i'm sorry a-are you the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
496,00:11:32.820,00:11:33.750,scientist or are you the kid,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
497,00:11:33.750,00:11:34.789,that wanted to get laid?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
498,00:11:37.149,00:11:38.250,[exhales deeply],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
499,00:11:38.250,00:11:39.720,"well, i'm glad we saved all",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
500,00:11:39.720,00:11:40.919,"those horses, but i'm almost",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
501,00:11:40.919,00:11:42.120,sorry we're finished.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
502,00:11:42.120,00:11:43.090,"beth: yes, it's satisfying",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
503,00:11:43.090,00:11:43.090,work.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
504,00:11:43.990,00:11:45.240,"unh-unh-unh, it's, uh",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
505,00:11:45.190,00:11:46.490,it's more than the work.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
506,00:11:46.490,00:11:48.820,i love being in that sterilized,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
507,00:11:48.820,00:11:50.990,"room, sealed off from the world.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
508,00:11:50.990,00:11:51.750,it's the only time i can really,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
509,00:11:51.750,00:11:53.289,think... and feel.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
510,00:11:53.289,00:11:54.320,[slow music plays],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
511,00:11:54.320,00:11:55.820,"beth: hmm, uh, what are you",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
512,00:11:55.820,00:11:56.850,doing?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
513,00:11:56.850,00:11:58.019,i'm playing african dream,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
514,00:11:58.019,00:11:59.120,pop.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
515,00:11:59.120,00:12:00.389,what do youdo after a long,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
516,00:12:00.389,00:12:00.389,night?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
517,00:12:00.919,00:12:02.450,[click],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
518,00:12:02.450,00:12:04.149,"beth: oh, ha, um, hey, i b",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
519,00:12:04.149,00:12:05.289,i'd better get going.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
520,00:12:05.289,00:12:06.750,"um, jerry's been texting some",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
521,00:12:06.750,00:12:07.690,pretty high-maintenance stuff.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
522,00:12:07.690,00:12:08.490,beth...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
523,00:12:08.490,00:12:09.450,"beth: what is it, davin?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
524,00:12:09.450,00:12:11.620,"just once, i'd like to",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
525,00:12:11.620,00:12:12.620,know,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
526,00:12:12.620,00:12:13.950,[sneezes],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
527,00:12:13.950,00:12:15.690,...w-w-what it was like to give,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
528,00:12:15.690,00:12:16.850,your son a bath.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
529,00:12:16.850,00:12:18.250,beth: what?!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
530,00:12:18.250,00:12:20.820,what does morty's skin smell,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
531,00:12:20.820,00:12:21.789,like?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
532,00:12:21.789,00:12:23.090,how soft...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
533,00:12:23.090,00:12:24.350,[grunts],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
534,00:12:24.350,00:12:26.789,how soft are his privates?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
535,00:12:26.789,00:12:28.389,"beth: let go of me, davin!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
536,00:12:29.950,00:12:31.190,[glass shatters],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
537,00:12:31.190,00:12:34.649,[roars],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
538,00:12:34.649,00:12:36.850,take me to morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
539,00:12:36.850,00:12:37.850,jerry: [grunts],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
540,00:12:37.850,00:12:39.620,you're not morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
541,00:12:39.620,00:12:40.850,jerry: no.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
542,00:12:40.850,00:12:43.789,"i'm mr. crowbar, and this is",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
543,00:12:43.789,00:12:45.889,"my friend, who is also a",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
544,00:12:45.889,00:12:47.190,crowbar.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
545,00:12:47.190,00:12:49.090,that's... stupid.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
546,00:12:49.090,00:12:51.690,jerry: [grunting],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
547,00:12:51.690,00:12:53.120,yeah?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
548,00:12:53.120,00:12:54.019,"well, look where being smart got",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
549,00:12:54.019,00:12:54.019,you.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
550,00:12:54.850,00:12:56.649,beth: jerry! thank god!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
551,00:12:56.649,00:12:57.950,jerry: god?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
552,00:12:57.950,00:12:59.919,god's turning people into insect,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
553,00:12:59.919,00:13:01.320,"monsters, beth.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
554,00:13:01.320,00:13:02.649,i'm the one beating them to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
555,00:13:02.649,00:13:03.190,death.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
556,00:13:03.190,00:13:04.220,thank me.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
557,00:13:04.220,00:13:05.620,"beth: thank you, jerry.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
558,00:13:05.620,00:13:08.720,thank you.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
559,00:13:11.320,00:13:12.635,rick: take a good look down,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
560,00:13:12.750,00:13:13.950,"there, morty, and soak it in,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
561,00:13:13.950,00:13:15.149,"because, you know, once i pull",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
562,00:13:15.149,00:13:15.149,"this lever, it's all back to",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
563,00:13:15.990,00:13:16.854,normal.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
564,00:13:16.889,00:13:18.090,morty: just do it already.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
565,00:13:18.090,00:13:19.149,"rick: well, technically,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
566,00:13:19.149,00:13:20.250,"morty, there's no rush.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
567,00:13:20.250,00:13:21.250,"i mean, you know, o-once it's",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
568,00:13:21.250,00:13:22.019,"fixed, it's done.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
569,00:13:22.019,00:13:22.019,it's fixed.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
570,00:13:22.990,00:13:24.454,"you know, we could we could",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
571,00:13:24.350,00:13:25.919,just enjoy it for a little bit.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
572,00:13:25.919,00:13:26.750,"i mean, l-l-l-look at how crazy",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
573,00:13:26.750,00:13:27.450,it is.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
574,00:13:27.450,00:13:28.789,"i mean, morty, w-w-when's the",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
575,00:13:28.789,00:13:29.789,next time you're gonna see,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
576,00:13:29.789,00:13:30.889,something like this?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
577,00:13:30.889,00:13:31.990,"i mean, soak it in, you know?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
578,00:13:31.990,00:13:32.850,it's it's pretty neat.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
579,00:13:32.850,00:13:33.789,it's pretty interesting.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
580,00:13:33.789,00:13:34.649,"morty: that's it, rick!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
581,00:13:34.649,00:13:35.090,i'm pulling the lever.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
582,00:13:35.090,00:13:36.220,[grunts],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
583,00:13:42.919,00:13:43.490,"rick: w-what do we have here,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
584,00:13:43.490,00:13:44.220,morty?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
585,00:13:44.220,00:13:45.120,looks like i was right and you,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
586,00:13:45.120,00:13:46.049,"were wrong, huh?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
587,00:13:46.049,00:13:47.120,i-i-i-i-i-i-i bet you feel,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
588,00:13:47.120,00:13:47.120,"pretty stupid right about now,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
589,00:13:47.950,00:13:48.785,huh?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
590,00:13:48.820,00:13:50.019,i-i-i bet you feel like the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
591,00:13:50.019,00:13:51.220,world's smallest man that you,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
592,00:13:51.220,00:13:52.250,were doubting me about this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
593,00:13:52.250,00:13:53.389,"whole thing, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
594,00:13:53.389,00:13:54.490,"morty: oh, rick, something's",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
595,00:13:54.490,00:13:55.090,not right.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
596,00:13:55.090,00:13:55.090,rick: [sighs],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
597,00:13:55.919,00:13:56.854,"yeah, you.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
598,00:13:56.889,00:13:57.919,you're not right ever.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
599,00:13:57.919,00:13:58.820,"morty: no, no!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
600,00:13:58.820,00:14:00.019,"look, you idiot!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
601,00:14:00.019,00:14:01.350,[all screaming],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
602,00:14:12.049,00:14:14.120,[all speaking native language],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
603,00:14:14.120,00:14:17.850,[all groaning],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
604,00:14:20.649,00:14:24.389,[all ululating],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
605,00:14:24.389,00:14:25.120,"rick: bet you're loving this,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
606,00:14:25.120,00:14:26.190,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
607,00:14:26.190,00:14:27.450,this must be the best day of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
608,00:14:27.450,00:14:28.220,your life.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
609,00:14:28.220,00:14:29.549,you get to be the mayor of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
610,00:14:29.549,00:14:30.889,i told you town.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
611,00:14:30.889,00:14:32.049,[slurps],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
612,00:14:32.049,00:14:32.049,you're welcome.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
613,00:14:32.950,00:14:33.720,[slurps],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
614,00:14:42.889,00:14:43.939,jerry: hold on.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
615,00:14:43.850,00:14:44.990,beth: [whimpers],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
616,00:14:44.990,00:14:47.590,"[engine revs, tires squeal]",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
617,00:15:02.090,00:15:03.519,[gun cocks],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
618,00:15:03.519,00:15:04.789,jerry: i wish that shotgun,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
619,00:15:04.789,00:15:05.889,was my penis.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
620,00:15:05.889,00:15:07.190,"beth: if it were, you could",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
621,00:15:07.190,00:15:08.889,call me ernest hemingway.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
622,00:15:08.889,00:15:10.250,"jerry: i don't get it, and i",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
623,00:15:10.250,00:15:11.250,don't need to.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
624,00:15:11.250,00:15:12.320,[both moaning],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
625,00:15:12.320,00:15:14.250,summer: mom! dad!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
626,00:15:14.250,00:15:16.820,both: summer!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
627,00:15:16.820,00:15:18.090,beth: [sighs],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
628,00:15:18.090,00:15:19.289,jerry: where's morty?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
629,00:15:19.289,00:15:20.789,summer: i don't know.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
630,00:15:20.789,00:15:21.820,do you think grandpa rick had,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
631,00:15:21.820,00:15:22.850,something to do with this?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
632,00:15:22.850,00:15:23.789,jerry: it's not fair to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
633,00:15:23.789,00:15:24.649,"assume that, summer.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
634,00:15:24.649,00:15:25.289,"beth: oh, not fair?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
635,00:15:25.289,00:15:26.820,give me a break.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
636,00:15:26.820,00:15:28.720,"he is a selfish, irresponsible",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
637,00:15:28.720,00:15:30.389,"ass, and he left my mother.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
638,00:15:30.389,00:15:32.990,a real man stands by his woman.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
639,00:15:32.990,00:15:37.889,[both moaning],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
640,00:15:37.889,00:15:39.190,summer: tchoo.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
641,00:15:39.190,00:15:40.950,tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. tchoo-tchoo.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
642,00:15:40.950,00:15:42.120,"rick: boy, morty, i really",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
643,00:15:42.120,00:15:42.120,"cronenberged the world up,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
644,00:15:42.990,00:15:43.815,didn't i?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
645,00:15:43.850,00:15:45.090,we got a whole planet of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
646,00:15:45.090,00:15:46.090,cronenbergs walking around down,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
647,00:15:46.090,00:15:47.090,"there, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
648,00:15:47.090,00:15:48.120,a-at least they're not in love,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
649,00:15:48.120,00:15:49.220,"with you anymore, though.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
650,00:15:49.220,00:15:50.019,that's a huge step in the right,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
651,00:15:50.019,00:15:50.019,direction.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
652,00:15:50.820,00:15:51.905,"morty: oh, my god!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
653,00:15:51.750,00:15:52.990,it's a living nightmare!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
654,00:15:52.990,00:15:54.120,how could you be so,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
655,00:15:54.120,00:15:55.389,"irresponsible, rick?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
656,00:15:55.389,00:15:57.049,rick: me irresponsible?!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
657,00:15:57.049,00:15:58.289,you all i wanted you to do,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
658,00:15:58.289,00:15:59.120,"was hand me a screwdriver,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
659,00:15:59.120,00:16:00.049,morty!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
660,00:16:00.049,00:16:01.320,you're the one who wanted to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
661,00:16:01.320,00:16:02.889,be wanted me to buckle down,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
662,00:16:02.889,00:16:05.019,and make you up a... roofie-juice,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
663,00:16:05.019,00:16:06.850,serum so you could roofie that,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
664,00:16:06.850,00:16:08.350,poor girl at your school.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
665,00:16:08.350,00:16:10.190,"i mean, g w-w-w-w-w w",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
666,00:16:10.190,00:16:11.389,"are you kidding me, morty?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
667,00:16:11.389,00:16:12.350,you're gonna try to take the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
668,00:16:12.350,00:16:13.419,high road on this one?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
669,00:16:13.419,00:16:14.019,"y-y-y-y-you're a little creep,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
670,00:16:14.019,00:16:14.019,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
671,00:16:14.850,00:16:15.850,y-you're a you're,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
672,00:16:15.850,00:16:16.820,you're you're just a little,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
673,00:16:16.820,00:16:17.789,creepy... creep person.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
674,00:16:17.789,00:16:18.850,"morty: all right, fine.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
675,00:16:18.850,00:16:19.990,i should have just listened to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
676,00:16:19.990,00:16:20.690,you when you refused to make the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
677,00:16:20.690,00:16:21.450,serum.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
678,00:16:21.450,00:16:22.720,i'm willing to accept my part of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
679,00:16:22.720,00:16:23.750,"the blame for this, rick.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
680,00:16:23.750,00:16:24.590,but i'll tell you something,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
681,00:16:24.590,00:16:25.350,you know what?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
682,00:16:25.350,00:16:26.519,you got to accept your part of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
683,00:16:26.519,00:16:27.320,the blame!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
684,00:16:27.320,00:16:28.450,i'm not the one who fouled up,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
685,00:16:28.450,00:16:29.250,the serum!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
686,00:16:29.250,00:16:30.490,i'm not the one who who,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
687,00:16:30.490,00:16:31.950,"who who haphazardly, you",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
688,00:16:31.950,00:16:33.289,"know, mixed a bunch of nonsense",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
689,00:16:33.289,00:16:34.490,together and created a bunch of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
690,00:16:34.490,00:16:35.250,cronenbergs!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
691,00:16:35.250,00:16:36.320,"you got to fix this, rick!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
692,00:16:36.320,00:16:36.320,"morty: all right, all right,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
693,00:16:36.950,00:16:37.815,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
694,00:16:37.850,00:16:38.919,"you know, w-w-w-we are in a",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
695,00:16:38.919,00:16:40.289,"pretty deep hole, here, but i do",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
696,00:16:40.289,00:16:41.820,have one emergency solution that,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
697,00:16:41.820,00:16:43.049,i can use that'll kind of put,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
698,00:16:43.049,00:16:44.120,"everything back to normal,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
699,00:16:44.120,00:16:45.320,relatively speaking.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
700,00:16:45.320,00:16:46.820,"here, morty, put this on while i",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
701,00:16:46.820,00:16:48.620,do a little bit of scouting.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
702,00:16:51.220,00:16:53.389,[birds chirping],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
703,00:17:01.120,00:17:02.919,"morty: wow, rick, i got to",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
704,00:17:02.919,00:17:04.190,say you really pulled a,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
705,00:17:04.190,00:17:05.089,rabbit out of your hat this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
706,00:17:05.089,00:17:06.049,time.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
707,00:17:06.049,00:17:07.390,"i mean, i-i really thought that",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
708,00:17:07.390,00:17:08.950,the whole place was gonna be,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
709,00:17:08.950,00:17:10.319,"messed up for good, but here,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
710,00:17:10.319,00:17:11.819,you did it y-y-you you,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
711,00:17:11.819,00:17:13.119,you figured out that crazy,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
712,00:17:13.119,00:17:14.049,"solution, like you always do.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
713,00:17:14.049,00:17:14.049,whoo!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
714,00:17:14.890,00:17:16.070,that's some great luck.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
715,00:17:15.990,00:17:17.250,"rick: come on, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
716,00:17:17.250,00:17:18.450,luck had nothing to do with it.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
717,00:17:18.450,00:17:19.190,i'm great.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
718,00:17:19.190,00:17:21.789,that's the real reason.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
719,00:17:21.789,00:17:22.720,"now, morty, what do you say,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
720,00:17:22.720,00:17:23.450,buddy?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
721,00:17:23.450,00:17:25.019,will you hand me a screwdriver,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
722,00:17:25.019,00:17:26.089,so i can finish my ionic dis,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
723,00:17:26.089,00:17:27.089,defibulizer?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
724,00:17:27.089,00:17:28.250,"morty: sure thing, rick.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
725,00:17:28.250,00:17:29.390,here's a screwdriver.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
726,00:17:29.390,00:17:30.750,"rick: all right, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
727,00:17:30.750,00:17:31.990,thank you very much.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
728,00:17:31.990,00:17:34.119,we got one screw turn... and two,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
729,00:17:34.119,00:17:35.890,screw turns... and...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
730,00:17:40.950,00:17:42.369,"all right, morty, here we are.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
731,00:17:42.450,00:17:43.789,"morty: oh, my god, rick!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
732,00:17:43.789,00:17:44.890,is that us?!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
733,00:17:44.890,00:17:45.990,w-w-w-we're dead!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
734,00:17:45.990,00:17:46.819,"what is going on, rick?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
735,00:17:46.819,00:17:47.750,i'm freaking out!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
736,00:17:47.750,00:17:48.819,"rick: calm down, morty!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
737,00:17:48.819,00:17:49.950,"look at me! calm down, morty!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
738,00:17:49.950,00:17:50.690,"morty: no, i can't deal with",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
739,00:17:50.690,00:17:51.420,this!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
740,00:17:51.420,00:17:52.490,"rick: calm yourself, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
741,00:17:52.490,00:17:53.450,morty: i can't deal with,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
742,00:17:53.450,00:17:54.089,"this, rick!",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
743,00:17:54.089,00:17:55.150,"rick: calm down, morty.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
744,00:17:55.150,00:17:56.220,morty: this can't be real!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
745,00:17:56.220,00:17:56.220,"rick: you got to calm down,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
746,00:17:56.920,00:17:57.814,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
747,00:17:57.849,00:17:58.450,morty: w-w-w-w-we're ripped,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
748,00:17:58.450,00:17:59.190,apart!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
749,00:17:59.190,00:17:59.190,rick: shut up and listen to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
750,00:17:59.750,00:18:00.855,me!,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
751,00:18:00.890,00:18:02.220,it's fine. everything is fine.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
752,00:18:02.220,00:18:03.420,there's an infinite number of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
753,00:18:03.420,00:18:04.920,"realities, morty, and in a few",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
754,00:18:04.920,00:18:06.089,"dozen of those, i got lucky and",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
755,00:18:06.089,00:18:06.089,turned everything back to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
756,00:18:06.849,00:18:07.784,normal.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
757,00:18:07.819,00:18:08.990,i just had to find one of those,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
758,00:18:08.990,00:18:10.190,realities in which we also,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
759,00:18:10.190,00:18:11.019,happen to both die around this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
760,00:18:11.019,00:18:11.019,time.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
761,00:18:11.950,00:18:13.420,now we can just slip into the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
762,00:18:13.319,00:18:14.890,place of our dead selves in this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
763,00:18:14.890,00:18:15.849,reality and everything will be,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
764,00:18:15.849,00:18:16.720,fine.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
765,00:18:16.720,00:18:17.519,"we're not skipping a beat,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
766,00:18:17.519,00:18:18.289,morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
767,00:18:18.289,00:18:19.289,"now, help me with these bodies.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
768,00:18:19.289,00:18:20.349,morty: this is insane.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
769,00:18:20.349,00:18:21.450,"rick: look, morty, i'll grab",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
770,00:18:21.450,00:18:22.789,"myself, you grab yourself, okay?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
771,00:18:22.789,00:18:23.990,"i mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
772,00:18:23.990,00:18:25.049,"me i mean, that seems like a",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
773,00:18:25.049,00:18:26.150,fair way to divvy it up.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
774,00:18:26.150,00:18:27.190,"morty: rick, what about the",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
775,00:18:27.190,00:18:28.289,reality we left behind?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
776,00:18:28.289,00:18:29.390,rick: what about the reality,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
777,00:18:29.390,00:18:30.089,"where hitler cured cancer,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
778,00:18:30.089,00:18:31.019,morty?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
779,00:18:31.019,00:18:31.019,the answer is don't think about,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
780,00:18:31.750,00:18:32.455,it.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
781,00:18:32.490,00:18:33.690,it's not like we can do this,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
782,00:18:33.690,00:18:34.720,"every week, anyways.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
783,00:18:34.720,00:18:35.589,we get three or four more of,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
784,00:18:35.589,00:18:36.390,"these, tops.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
785,00:18:36.390,00:18:37.420,"now, pick up your dead self and",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
786,00:18:37.420,00:18:37.420,come on.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
787,00:18:37.950,00:18:39.215,haste makes waste.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
788,00:18:39.250,00:18:40.450,i-i-i don't suppose you've,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
789,00:18:40.450,00:18:41.849,"considered this detail, but",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
790,00:18:41.849,00:18:43.220,"obviously, if i hadn't screwed",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
791,00:18:43.220,00:18:44.819,"up as much as i did, we'd be",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
792,00:18:44.819,00:18:46.019,"these guys right now, so, again,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
793,00:18:46.019,00:18:47.549,you're welcome.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
794,00:18:51.250,00:18:54.650,♪ ♪ look on down from the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
795,00:18:54.650,00:18:58.190,bridge ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
796,00:18:58.190,00:19:03.490,♪ ♪ there's still fountains down,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
797,00:19:03.490,00:19:08.289,there ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
798,00:19:08.289,00:19:14.119,♪ ♪ look on down from the bridge ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
799,00:19:14.119,00:19:24.049,♪ ♪ it's still raining up here ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
800,00:19:24.049,00:19:28.220,♪ ♪ everybody seems so far away,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
801,00:19:28.220,00:19:31.920,from me ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
802,00:19:31.920,00:19:36.720,♪ ♪ everybody just wants to be,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
803,00:19:36.720,00:19:39.789,free ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
804,00:19:39.789,00:19:44.754,♪ ♪ look away from the sky ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
805,00:19:45.819,00:19:49.720,♪ ♪ it's no different when you're,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
806,00:19:49.720,00:19:51.849,leaving home ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
807,00:19:54.589,00:19:59.089,♪ ♪ i can't be the same thing to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
808,00:19:59.089,00:20:01.289,you now ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
809,00:20:01.289,00:20:05.220,♪ ♪ i'm just gone ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
810,00:20:05.220,00:20:11.150,♪ ♪ just gone ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
811,00:20:11.150,00:20:22.690,♪ ♪ how could i say goodbye? ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
812,00:20:19.150,00:20:22.690,♪ ♪ how could i say goodbye? ♪ ♪,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
813,00:20:23.319,00:20:25.250,"summer: you know, the thing",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
814,00:20:25.250,00:20:26.950,about a shark...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
815,00:20:26.950,00:20:29.549,he's got lifeless eyes...,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
816,00:20:29.549,00:20:31.549,"black eyes, like a doll's eyes.",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
817,00:20:31.549,00:20:33.250,"when he comes at ya, he doesn't",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
818,00:20:33.250,00:20:34.950,seem to be living until he bites,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
819,00:20:34.950,00:20:36.420,"ya, and then the the blood,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
820,00:20:36.420,00:20:37.890,"and the red, and the water...",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
821,00:20:37.890,00:20:39.150,jerry: [sighs],S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
822,00:20:39.150,00:20:40.049,you ever wonder what happened to,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
823,00:20:40.049,00:20:41.190,rick and morty?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
824,00:20:41.190,00:20:42.819,beth: sometimes.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
825,00:20:42.819,00:20:44.319,"but, i'm ashamed to admit, now",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
826,00:20:44.319,00:20:46.619,"that they're gone, i'm finally",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
827,00:20:46.619,00:20:49.390,happy.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
828,00:20:49.390,00:20:50.519,"rick: here we are,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
829,00:20:50.519,00:20:52.019,cronenberg morty a reality,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
830,00:20:52.019,00:20:53.220,where everyone in the world got,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
831,00:20:53.220,00:20:54.250,genetically cronenberged.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
832,00:20:54.250,00:20:55.190,"we'll fit right in,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
833,00:20:55.190,00:20:56.289,cronenberg morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
834,00:20:56.289,00:20:57.289,it'll be like we never even left,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
835,00:20:57.289,00:20:58.349,cronenberg world.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
836,00:20:58.349,00:20:59.750,"morty: yeah, cronenberg rick,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
837,00:20:59.750,00:21:00.849,"but, you know, i'm gonna miss",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
838,00:21:00.849,00:21:01.950,"cronenberg world, because",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
839,00:21:01.950,00:21:02.990,everyone was cronenberged all,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
840,00:21:02.990,00:21:03.920,along like us from the,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
841,00:21:03.920,00:21:04.920,"beginning, you know?",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
842,00:21:04.920,00:21:06.150,"i mean, i-i wish we hadn't",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
843,00:21:06.150,00:21:07.420,genetically ruined cronenberg,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
844,00:21:07.420,00:21:08.920,"world beyond repair like we did,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
845,00:21:08.920,00:21:10.220,"you know, and turned everyone",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
846,00:21:10.220,00:21:11.289,"into regular, normal people just",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
847,00:21:11.289,00:21:12.349,walking around.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
848,00:21:12.349,00:21:13.650,rick: don't you worry about,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
849,00:21:13.650,00:21:14.589,"that sort of thing,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
850,00:21:14.589,00:21:15.549,cronenberg morty.,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
851,00:21:15.549,00:21:16.619,"let's go make ourselves at home,",S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
852,00:21:16.619,00:21:20.650,huh?,S01,E09,Something Ricked This Way Comes
1,00:00:00.000,00:00:05.237,">> beth: so, dad, guess what tomorrow is. >> rick: martin luther king",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
2,00:00:05.239,00:00:06.205,tomorrow is. >> rick: martin luther king jr.'s birthday.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
3,00:00:06.207,00:00:06.872,>> rick: martin luther king jr.'s birthday. >> beth: no.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
4,00:00:06.874,00:00:07.906,"jr.'s birthday. >> beth: no. well, it...might be.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
5,00:00:07.908,00:00:08.874,">> beth: no. well, it...might be. >> rick: it is.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
6,00:00:08.876,00:00:09.742,"well, it...might be. >> rick: it is. >> beth: fine.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
7,00:00:09.744,00:00:11.377,">> rick: it is. >> beth: fine. but also, tomorrow is your",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
8,00:00:11.379,00:00:12.911,">> beth: fine. but also, tomorrow is your one-year anniversary back in our",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
9,00:00:12.913,00:00:13.412,"but also, tomorrow is your one-year anniversary back in our lives.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
10,00:00:13.414,00:00:14.279,one-year anniversary back in our lives. i'm gonna make you,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
11,00:00:14.281,00:00:15.514,lives. i'm gonna make you flying-saucer-shaped pancakes.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
12,00:00:15.516,00:00:16.749,"i'm gonna make you flying-saucer-shaped pancakes. >> rick: oh, t-t-there's no need",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
13,00:00:16.751,00:00:17.583,"flying-saucer-shaped pancakes. >> rick: oh, t-t-there's no need to do that, beth.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
14,00:00:17.585,00:00:18.717,">> rick: oh, t-t-there's no need to do that, beth. regular pancakes are fine.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
15,00:00:18.719,00:00:20.252,"to do that, beth. regular pancakes are fine. [ loud warble ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
16,00:00:20.254,00:00:25.624,"[ all scream ] >> morty: [ groans ] >> jerry: oh, my god!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
17,00:00:25.626,00:00:27.626,">> morty: [ groans ] >> jerry: oh, my god! oh, what is happening?!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
18,00:00:27.628,00:01:04.897,">> beth: happy anniversary, dad. >> rick: oh, i get it. regular pancakes are already",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
19,00:01:04.899,00:01:06.265,">> rick: oh, i get it. regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
20,00:01:06.267,00:01:06.498,regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers. mmm.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
21,00:01:06.500,00:01:07.633,shaped like flying saucers. mmm. i-i should be making you,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
22,00:01:07.635,00:01:08.834,mmm. i-i should be making you breakfast for putting up with,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
23,00:01:08.836,00:01:09.301,i-i should be making you breakfast for putting up with me.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
24,00:01:09.303,00:01:10.636,breakfast for putting up with me. >> jerry: you should be making,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
25,00:01:10.638,00:01:11.637,me. >> jerry: you should be making us a whole restaurant.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
26,00:01:11.639,00:01:12.604,>> jerry: you should be making us a whole restaurant. >> beth: nonsense.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
27,00:01:12.606,00:01:13.906,us a whole restaurant. >> beth: nonsense. we couldn't be happier to have,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
28,00:01:13.908,00:01:14.640,>> beth: nonsense. we couldn't be happier to have you around.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
29,00:01:14.642,00:01:16.275,we couldn't be happier to have you around. i just wish i got to see more of,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
30,00:01:16.277,00:01:16.575,you around. i just wish i got to see more of you.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
31,00:01:16.577,00:01:17.743,i just wish i got to see more of you. [ loud warble ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
32,00:01:17.745,00:01:19.478,you. [ loud warble ] >> rick sanchez of earth,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
33,00:01:19.480,00:01:21.847,"[ loud warble ] >> rick sanchez of earth dimension c-137, you are under",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
34,00:01:21.849,00:01:22.981,">> rick sanchez of earth dimension c-137, you are under arrest for crimes against",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
35,00:01:22.983,00:01:24.483,"dimension c-137, you are under arrest for crimes against alternate ricks by the authority",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
36,00:01:24.485,00:01:25.818,arrest for crimes against alternate ricks by the authority of the trans-dimensional council,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
37,00:01:25.820,00:01:26.452,alternate ricks by the authority of the trans-dimensional council of ricks.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
38,00:01:26.454,00:01:27.686,of the trans-dimensional council of ricks. >> jerry: hey! what the heck?!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
39,00:01:27.688,00:01:28.787,of ricks. >> jerry: hey! what the heck?! >> neutralize the jerry.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
40,00:01:28.789,00:01:30.322,>> jerry: hey! what the heck?! >> neutralize the jerry. >> jerry: wait! no! i'll --,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
41,00:01:30.324,00:01:30.856,>> neutralize the jerry. >> jerry: wait! no! i'll -- >> summer: dad!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
42,00:01:30.858,00:01:31.623,>> jerry: wait! no! i'll -- >> summer: dad! >> beth: dad!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
43,00:01:31.625,00:01:32.357,>> summer: dad! >> beth: dad! >> morty: rick!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
44,00:01:32.359,00:01:33.492,">> beth: dad! >> morty: rick! >> rick: everybody, relax.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
45,00:01:33.494,00:01:34.660,">> morty: rick! >> rick: everybody, relax. if i know these a-holes, and i",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
46,00:01:34.662,00:01:35.828,">> rick: everybody, relax. if i know these a-holes, and i am these a-holes, they just",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
47,00:01:35.830,00:01:37.262,"if i know these a-holes, and i am these a-holes, they just want to haul me to their stupid",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
48,00:01:37.264,00:01:38.497,"am these a-holes, they just want to haul me to their stupid clubhouse and waste my time with",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
49,00:01:38.499,00:01:39.498,want to haul me to their stupid clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
50,00:01:39.500,00:01:40.499,clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions. let's get it over with.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
51,00:01:40.501,00:01:41.467,a bunch of questions. let's get it over with. >> bring his [burps] morty.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
52,00:01:41.469,00:01:42.301,"let's get it over with. >> bring his [burps] morty. >> morty: oh, man.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
53,00:01:42.303,00:01:43.469,">> bring his [burps] morty. >> morty: oh, man. >> rick: leave my [burps] morty",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
54,00:01:43.471,00:01:43.936,">> morty: oh, man. >> rick: leave my [burps] morty out of this.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
55,00:01:43.938,00:01:45.304,>> rick: leave my [burps] morty out of this. >> you lost the right to have a,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
56,00:01:45.306,00:01:46.371,out of this. >> you lost the right to have a say in these things when you,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
57,00:01:46.373,00:01:47.606,>> you lost the right to have a say in these things when you refused to j-- [burps] join the,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
58,00:01:47.608,00:01:47.940,say in these things when you refused to j-- [burps] join the council.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
59,00:01:47.942,00:01:49.341,refused to j-- [burps] join the council. >> beth: w-w-w-what about jerry?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
60,00:01:49.343,00:01:50.375,council. >> beth: w-w-w-what about jerry? >> rick: will you at least,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
61,00:01:50.377,00:01:53.278,>> beth: w-w-w-what about jerry? >> rick: will you at least unfreeze my daughter's idiot?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
62,00:01:53.280,00:01:54.680,>> rick: will you at least unfreeze my daughter's idiot? >> jerry: ...give you anything!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
63,00:01:54.682,00:01:55.814,unfreeze my daughter's idiot? >> jerry: ...give you anything! i have a rare antique-coin,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
64,00:01:55.816,00:01:56.482,>> jerry: ...give you anything! i have a rare antique-coin collection!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
65,00:01:56.484,00:01:57.950,i have a rare antique-coin collection! just don't hurt me!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
66,00:01:57.952,00:02:03.789,"okay, maybe not antique, but it was a limited minting. they have little r2-d2s instead",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
67,00:02:03.791,00:02:04.690,was a limited minting. they have little r2-d2s instead of george washington.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
68,00:02:04.692,00:02:05.657,they have little r2-d2s instead of george washington. >> beth: our son's been,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
69,00:02:05.659,00:02:06.024,of george washington. >> beth: our son's been abducted!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
70,00:02:06.026,00:02:07.459,>> beth: our son's been abducted! >> jerry: you hate me for buying,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
71,00:02:07.461,00:02:08.460,abducted! >> jerry: you hate me for buying those coins!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
72,00:02:08.462,00:02:14.967,">> morty: geez, rick, w-what is this place? >> rick: the citadel of ricks.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
73,00:02:14.969,00:02:16.535,this place? >> rick: the citadel of ricks. it's the secret headquarters for,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
74,00:02:16.537,00:02:17.536,>> rick: the citadel of ricks. it's the secret headquarters for the council of ricks.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
75,00:02:17.538,00:02:19.304,it's the secret headquarters for the council of ricks. >> morty: council of ricks?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
76,00:02:19.306,00:02:20.305,"the council of ricks. >> morty: council of ricks? >> rick: as you know, morty,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
77,00:02:20.307,00:02:21.406,">> morty: council of ricks? >> rick: as you know, morty, i've got a lot of enemies in the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
78,00:02:21.408,00:02:22.541,">> rick: as you know, morty, i've got a lot of enemies in the universe that consider my genius",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
79,00:02:22.543,00:02:23.876,"i've got a lot of enemies in the universe that consider my genius a threat -- galactic terrorists,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
80,00:02:23.878,00:02:25.377,"universe that consider my genius a threat -- galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
81,00:02:25.379,00:02:26.712,"a threat -- galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, most of the entire intergalactic",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
82,00:02:26.714,00:02:27.412,"a few sub-galactic dictators, most of the entire intergalactic government.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
83,00:02:27.414,00:02:28.680,most of the entire intergalactic government. w-w-wherever you find people,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
84,00:02:28.682,00:02:29.882,"government. w-w-wherever you find people with heads up their asses,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
85,00:02:29.884,00:02:31.350,"w-w-wherever you find people with heads up their asses, someone wants a piece of your",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
86,00:02:31.352,00:02:32.651,"with heads up their asses, someone wants a piece of your grandpa, and a lot of versions",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
87,00:02:32.653,00:02:34.052,"someone wants a piece of your grandpa, and a lot of versions of me on different timelines had",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
88,00:02:34.054,00:02:35.387,"grandpa, and a lot of versions of me on different timelines had the same problem, so a few",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
89,00:02:35.389,00:02:36.889,"of me on different timelines had the same problem, so a few thousand versions of me had the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
90,00:02:36.891,00:02:38.357,"the same problem, so a few thousand versions of me had the ingenious idea of banding",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
91,00:02:38.359,00:02:39.758,thousand versions of me had the ingenious idea of banding together like a herd of cattle,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
92,00:02:39.760,00:02:41.360,ingenious idea of banding together like a herd of cattle or a school of fish or those,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
93,00:02:41.362,00:02:42.828,together like a herd of cattle or a school of fish or those people who answer questions on,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
94,00:02:42.830,00:02:43.695,or a school of fish or those people who answer questions on yahoo! answers.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
95,00:02:43.697,00:02:45.397,people who answer questions on yahoo! answers. >> morty: hey! what do you know?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
96,00:02:45.399,00:02:46.431,yahoo! answers. >> morty: hey! what do you know? it's a cowboy version of me.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
97,00:02:46.433,00:02:47.533,">> morty: hey! what do you know? it's a cowboy version of me. >> rick: geez, you're easy to",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
98,00:02:47.535,00:02:47.900,"it's a cowboy version of me. >> rick: geez, you're easy to impress.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
99,00:02:47.902,00:02:49.067,">> rick: geez, you're easy to impress. yeah, most timelines have a",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
100,00:02:49.069,00:02:50.435,"impress. yeah, most timelines have a rick, and most ricks have a",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
101,00:02:50.437,00:02:50.836,"yeah, most timelines have a rick, and most ricks have a morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
102,00:02:50.838,00:02:52.371,"rick, and most ricks have a morty. this place is a real who's who",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
103,00:02:52.373,00:02:53.372,morty. this place is a real who's who of who's you and me.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
104,00:02:53.374,00:02:54.706,"this place is a real who's who of who's you and me. >> turn your boring, old morty",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
105,00:02:54.708,00:02:57.576,"of who's you and me. >> turn your boring, old morty into a f-- hot fashion statement",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
106,00:02:57.578,00:02:59.077,">> turn your boring, old morty into a f-- hot fashion statement with some morty dazzlers.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
107,00:02:59.079,00:03:00.679,"into a f-- hot fashion statement with some morty dazzlers. >> hey, check this out.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
108,00:03:00.681,00:03:01.680,"with some morty dazzlers. >> hey, check this out. >>   show me the morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
109,00:03:01.682,00:03:02.447,">> hey, check this out. >>   show me the morty. >> rick: dumb.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
110,00:03:02.449,00:03:03.782,">>   show me the morty. >> rick: dumb. >> excuse me, sir, is your morty",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
111,00:03:03.784,00:03:04.416,">> rick: dumb. >> excuse me, sir, is your morty insured?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
112,00:03:04.418,00:03:05.717,">> excuse me, sir, is your morty insured? you know, every year, hundreds",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
113,00:03:05.719,00:03:06.785,"insured? you know, every year, hundreds of mortys are injured --",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
114,00:03:06.787,00:03:07.719,"you know, every year, hundreds of mortys are injured -- >> rick: back off!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
115,00:03:07.721,00:03:09.087,"of mortys are injured -- >> rick: back off! not my cup of tea, this place.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
116,00:03:09.089,00:03:10.722,">> rick: back off! not my cup of tea, this place. i say the point of being a rick",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
117,00:03:10.724,00:03:11.590,"not my cup of tea, this place. i say the point of being a rick is being a rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
118,00:03:11.592,00:03:12.958,i say the point of being a rick is being a rick. >> save your anti-rick speech,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
119,00:03:12.960,00:03:14.393,"is being a rick. >> save your anti-rick speech for the council of ricks,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
120,00:03:14.395,00:03:14.960,">> save your anti-rick speech for the council of ricks, terror-rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
121,00:03:14.962,00:03:16.528,"for the council of ricks, terror-rick. >> rick: hey, save your rick",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
122,00:03:16.530,00:03:17.629,"terror-rick. >> rick: hey, save your rick rules for the [burps]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
123,00:03:17.631,00:03:18.764,">> rick: hey, save your rick rules for the [burps] sheep-ricks, rick-pig.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
124,00:03:18.766,00:03:19.731,"rules for the [burps] sheep-ricks, rick-pig. >> [bleep] me, pal.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
125,00:03:19.733,00:03:20.732,"sheep-ricks, rick-pig. >> [bleep] me, pal. >> rick: [bleep] you?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
126,00:03:20.734,00:03:21.767,">> [bleep] me, pal. >> rick: [bleep] you? no, no, no, no, no.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
127,00:03:21.769,00:03:23.435,">> rick: [bleep] you? no, no, no, no, no. [bleep] me.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
128,00:03:23.437,00:03:42.454,>> bring up the holograms. 27 ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines -- an,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
129,00:03:42.456,00:03:44.489,27 ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines -- an unprecedented rick-icidal,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
130,00:03:44.491,00:03:45.457,their own timelines -- an unprecedented rick-icidal epidemic.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
131,00:03:45.459,00:03:48.126,"unprecedented rick-icidal epidemic. what say you, earth rick c-137?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
132,00:03:48.128,00:03:49.728,"epidemic. what say you, earth rick c-137? >> rick: you think i did this?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
133,00:03:49.730,00:03:50.963,"what say you, earth rick c-137? >> rick: you think i did this? why am i the first rick you pull",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
134,00:03:50.965,00:03:52.130,>> rick: you think i did this? why am i the first rick you pull in every time a rick stubs his,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
135,00:03:52.132,00:03:52.631,why am i the first rick you pull in every time a rick stubs his toe?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
136,00:03:52.633,00:03:53.999,in every time a rick stubs his toe? >> you [burps] have a history of,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
137,00:03:54.001,00:03:55.400,toe? >> you [burps] have a history of non-cooperation with the,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
138,00:03:55.402,00:03:55.801,>> you [burps] have a history of non-cooperation with the council.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
139,00:03:55.803,00:03:57.002,"non-cooperation with the council. >> rick: yeah, so does the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
140,00:03:57.004,00:03:58.470,"council. >> rick: yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
141,00:03:58.472,00:03:58.804,">> rick: yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
142,00:03:58.806,00:04:00.105,scientist formerly known as rick. w-w-w-w-w-why isn't he here in,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
143,00:04:00.107,00:04:00.806,rick. w-w-w-w-w-why isn't he here in handcuffs?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
144,00:04:00.808,00:04:03.075,"w-w-w-w-w-why isn't he here in handcuffs? >> because he's dead, too!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
145,00:04:03.077,00:04:04.142,"handcuffs? >> because he's dead, too! [ crowd gasping, groaning ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
146,00:04:04.144,00:04:05.410,">> because he's dead, too! [ crowd gasping, groaning ] who else would you have us",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
147,00:04:05.412,00:04:05.811,"[ crowd gasping, groaning ] who else would you have us question?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
148,00:04:05.813,00:04:06.979,who else would you have us question? you fit the profile.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
149,00:04:06.981,00:04:08.814,question? you fit the profile. of all the ricks in the central,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
150,00:04:08.816,00:04:10.415,"you fit the profile. of all the ricks in the central finite curve, you're the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
151,00:04:10.417,00:04:11.617,"of all the ricks in the central finite curve, you're the malcontent, the rogue.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
152,00:04:11.619,00:04:13.018,"finite curve, you're the malcontent, the rogue. >> rick: i'm the rick, and so",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
153,00:04:13.020,00:04:14.786,"malcontent, the rogue. >> rick: i'm the rick, and so were the rest of you before you",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
154,00:04:14.788,00:04:16.154,">> rick: i'm the rick, and so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
155,00:04:16.156,00:04:17.656,were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. you wanted to be safe from the,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
156,00:04:17.658,00:04:18.824,"formed this stupid alliance. you wanted to be safe from the government, so you became a",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
157,00:04:18.826,00:04:19.758,"you wanted to be safe from the government, so you became a stupid government.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
158,00:04:19.760,00:04:21.026,"government, so you became a stupid government. that makes every rick here less",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
159,00:04:21.028,00:04:21.793,stupid government. that makes every rick here less rick than me.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
160,00:04:21.795,00:04:23.428,that makes every rick here less rick than me. [ crowd grumbling ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
161,00:04:23.430,00:04:24.796,"rick than me. [ crowd grumbling ] yeah, murmur it up, d-bags.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
162,00:04:24.798,00:04:25.964,"[ crowd grumbling ] yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. now, if you'll excuse me, i've",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
163,00:04:25.966,00:04:27.032,"yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. now, if you'll excuse me, i've got pancakes back home with",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
164,00:04:27.034,00:04:28.000,"now, if you'll excuse me, i've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
165,00:04:28.002,00:04:29.034,got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. they're about to hit that,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
166,00:04:29.036,00:04:30.002,syrup on top of them. they're about to hit that critical point of syrup,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
167,00:04:30.004,00:04:31.470,they're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
168,00:04:31.472,00:04:32.671,"critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste, and i hate",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
169,00:04:32.673,00:04:33.872,"absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste, and i hate to get all andy rooney about it,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
170,00:04:33.874,00:04:35.607,"into a gross paste, and i hate to get all andy rooney about it, but i think we all like fluffy",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
171,00:04:35.609,00:04:37.175,"to get all andy rooney about it, but i think we all like fluffy disks of cake with syrup on top,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
172,00:04:37.177,00:04:38.944,"but i think we all like fluffy disks of cake with syrup on top, and i think we also like to be",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
173,00:04:38.946,00:04:40.679,"disks of cake with syrup on top, and i think we also like to be accused of crimes when there's",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
174,00:04:40.681,00:04:41.179,and i think we also like to be accused of crimes when there's evidence!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
175,00:04:41.181,00:04:43.015,"accused of crimes when there's evidence! so, as they say in canada,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
176,00:04:43.017,00:04:43.949,"evidence! so, as they say in canada, peace oot!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
177,00:04:43.951,00:04:46.151,"so, as they say in canada, peace oot! >> evidence! good idea.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
178,00:04:46.153,00:04:47.519,peace oot! >> evidence! good idea. scan his portal gun!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
179,00:04:47.521,00:04:48.687,">> evidence! good idea. scan his portal gun! >> rick: oh, come on.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
180,00:04:48.689,00:04:50.122,"scan his portal gun! >> rick: oh, come on. don't look at another man's",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
181,00:04:50.124,00:04:51.456,">> rick: oh, come on. don't look at another man's portal-gun history.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
182,00:04:51.458,00:04:53.792,don't look at another man's portal-gun history. we -- we all go to weird places.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
183,00:04:53.794,00:04:55.661,"portal-gun history. we -- we all go to weird places. >> yes, but it appears you alone",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
184,00:04:55.663,00:04:57.195,"we -- we all go to weird places. >> yes, but it appears you alone have been going to the exact",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
185,00:04:57.197,00:04:59.031,">> yes, but it appears you alone have been going to the exact timelines and locations in which",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
186,00:04:59.033,00:05:00.499,have been going to the exact timelines and locations in which the murders occurred.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
187,00:05:00.501,00:05:01.466,timelines and locations in which the murders occurred. [ crowd grumbling ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
188,00:05:01.468,00:05:02.034,the murders occurred. [ crowd grumbling ] >> rick: what?!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
189,00:05:02.036,00:05:03.035,[ crowd grumbling ] >> rick: what?! that's rick-diculous!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
190,00:05:03.037,00:05:04.569,>> rick: what?! that's rick-diculous! i'm obviously being set up.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
191,00:05:04.571,00:05:07.039,"that's rick-diculous! i'm obviously being set up. >> earth rick c-137, the council",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
192,00:05:07.041,00:05:09.041,"i'm obviously being set up. >> earth rick c-137, the council of ricks sentences you to the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
193,00:05:09.043,00:05:11.043,">> earth rick c-137, the council of ricks sentences you to the machine of unspeakable doom,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
194,00:05:11.045,00:05:12.678,"of ricks sentences you to the machine of unspeakable doom, which swaps your conscious and",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
195,00:05:12.680,00:05:14.012,"machine of unspeakable doom, which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
196,00:05:14.014,00:05:15.647,"which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
197,00:05:15.649,00:05:17.082,"unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you've known becomes",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
198,00:05:17.084,00:05:18.884,your fantasies pointless while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
199,00:05:18.886,00:05:20.719,"everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp. also, every 10 seconds, it stabs",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
200,00:05:20.721,00:05:21.520,"impossible to grasp. also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
201,00:05:21.522,00:05:24.189,"also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls. >> rick: i've heard enough.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
202,00:05:24.191,00:05:25.557,your balls. >> rick: i've heard enough. [ burps ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
203,00:05:25.559,00:05:26.224,">> rick: i've heard enough. [ burps ] run, morty!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
204,00:05:26.226,00:05:27.559,"[ burps ] run, morty! >> morty: [ panting ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
205,00:05:27.561,00:05:28.760,"run, morty! >> morty: [ panting ] >> unh-unh. not you.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
206,00:05:28.762,00:05:30.996,>> morty: [ panting ] >> unh-unh. not you. >> morty: [ panting ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
207,00:05:30.998,00:05:32.564,>> unh-unh. not you. >> morty: [ panting ] aaaah!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
208,00:05:32.566,00:05:40.572,>> [ screams ] >> [ screams ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
209,00:05:40.574,00:05:51.917,[ loud farting ] [ steady farting in distance ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
210,00:05:51.919,00:05:55.921,>> morty: oh! oh!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
211,00:05:55.923,00:06:01.893,"[ dialing ] >> yeah, i'd like to order one large person with extra people,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
212,00:06:01.895,00:06:02.260,">> yeah, i'd like to order one large person with extra people, please.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
213,00:06:02.262,00:06:03.128,"large person with extra people, please. >> white people.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
214,00:06:03.130,00:06:04.529,"please. >> white people. no, no, no, no. black people.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
215,00:06:04.531,00:06:06.231,">> white people. no, no, no, no. black people. and hispanic on half.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
216,00:06:06.233,00:06:08.033,"no, no, no, no. black people. and hispanic on half. >> morty: [ panting ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
217,00:06:08.035,00:06:20.145,"[ dialing ] >> yes, i'd like to order one large sofa chair with extra",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
218,00:06:20.147,00:06:21.046,">> yes, i'd like to order one large sofa chair with extra chair, please.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
219,00:06:21.048,00:06:21.913,"large sofa chair with extra chair, please. >> high chair.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
220,00:06:21.915,00:06:23.215,"chair, please. >> high chair. no, no, no, no. recliner.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
221,00:06:23.217,00:06:25.283,">> high chair. no, no, no, no. recliner. and wheelchair on half.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
222,00:06:25.285,00:06:28.153,"no, no, no, no. recliner. and wheelchair on half. >> morty: [ panting ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
223,00:06:28.155,00:06:30.455,and wheelchair on half. >> morty: [ panting ] [ all speaking gibberish ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
224,00:06:30.457,00:06:39.631,>> they could have gone into any one of these. >> [ groans ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
225,00:06:39.633,00:06:40.732,one of these. >> [ groans ] son of a...,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
226,00:06:40.734,00:06:41.299,">> [ groans ] son of a... >> oh, geez.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
227,00:06:41.301,00:06:42.100,"son of a... >> oh, geez. >> oh, man!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
228,00:06:42.102,00:06:42.968,">> oh, geez. >> oh, man! >> we lost 'em.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
229,00:06:42.970,00:06:44.136,">> oh, man! >> we lost 'em. >> yeah, i'd like to order one",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
230,00:06:44.138,00:06:45.303,">> we lost 'em. >> yeah, i'd like to order one large phone with extra phones,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
231,00:06:45.305,00:06:45.804,">> yeah, i'd like to order one large phone with extra phones, please.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
232,00:06:45.806,00:06:46.304,"large phone with extra phones, please. >> cellphone.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
233,00:06:46.306,00:06:47.773,"please. >> cellphone. no, no, no, no. rotary.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
234,00:06:47.775,00:06:49.975,">> cellphone. no, no, no, no. rotary. and pay phone on half.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
235,00:06:49.977,00:06:50.942,"no, no, no, no. rotary. and pay phone on half. >> rick: that'll keep 'em",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
236,00:06:50.944,00:06:52.778,and pay phone on half. >> rick: that'll keep 'em [burps] busy for a while.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
237,00:06:52.780,00:06:58.016,">> morty: those guys were wrong, right? y-y-y-you d-- you wouldn't kill",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
238,00:06:58.018,00:06:59.317,right? y-y-y-you d-- you wouldn't kill yourself -- y-y-yourselves.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
239,00:06:59.319,00:07:00.919,"y-y-y-you d-- you wouldn't kill yourself -- y-y-yourselves. >> rick: of course not, morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
240,00:07:00.921,00:07:01.987,"yourself -- y-y-yourselves. >> rick: of course not, morty. how could that profit me?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
241,00:07:01.989,00:07:03.255,">> rick: of course not, morty. how could that profit me? but someone out there is killing",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
242,00:07:03.257,00:07:04.589,"how could that profit me? but someone out there is killing ricks, and the council ain't",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
243,00:07:04.591,00:07:05.690,"but someone out there is killing ricks, and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
244,00:07:05.692,00:07:06.758,"ricks, and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me until we clear our names --",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
245,00:07:06.760,00:07:07.959,gonna stop thinking it's me until we clear our names -- by finding the real rick-killer.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
246,00:07:07.961,00:07:08.994,"until we clear our names -- by finding the real rick-killer. >> morty: i'm scared, rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
247,00:07:08.996,00:07:10.128,"by finding the real rick-killer. >> morty: i'm scared, rick. maybe we should go home and",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
248,00:07:10.130,00:07:11.196,">> morty: i'm scared, rick. maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons, like that",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
249,00:07:11.198,00:07:12.197,"maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons, like that show ""doomsday preppers.""",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
250,00:07:12.199,00:07:13.331,"stockpile weapons, like that show ""doomsday preppers."" >> rick: not really my style,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
251,00:07:13.333,00:07:13.832,"show ""doomsday preppers."" >> rick: not really my style, morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
252,00:07:13.834,00:07:14.866,">> rick: not really my style, morty. besides, your home is most",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
253,00:07:14.868,00:07:16.001,"morty. besides, your home is most likely swarming with ricks by",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
254,00:07:16.003,00:07:16.868,"besides, your home is most likely swarming with ricks by now.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
255,00:07:16.870,00:07:23.708,">> all right, listen, jerry. if rick calls, this device is gonna trace his location.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
256,00:07:23.710,00:07:25.177,"if rick calls, this device is gonna trace his location. you just got to keep him on the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
257,00:07:25.179,00:07:26.812,gonna trace his location. you just got to keep him on the phone for 30 seconds or longer.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
258,00:07:26.814,00:07:28.146,you just got to keep him on the phone for 30 seconds or longer. >> beth: who wants lemonade?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
259,00:07:28.148,00:07:29.614,"phone for 30 seconds or longer. >> beth: who wants lemonade? >> oh, yeah.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
260,00:07:29.616,00:07:30.649,">> beth: who wants lemonade? >> oh, yeah. mmm!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
261,00:07:30.651,00:07:32.017,">> oh, yeah. mmm! oh! delicious!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
262,00:07:32.019,00:07:33.185,mmm! oh! delicious! >> beth [belches] you're a,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
263,00:07:33.187,00:07:34.019,oh! delicious! >> beth [belches] you're a treasure.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
264,00:07:34.021,00:07:35.287,>> beth [belches] you're a treasure. >> i have a beth just like you,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
265,00:07:35.289,00:07:36.788,"treasure. >> i have a beth just like you in my [belches] reality, except",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
266,00:07:36.790,00:07:37.355,">> i have a beth just like you in my [belches] reality, except you know what?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
267,00:07:37.357,00:07:38.890,"in my [belches] reality, except you know what? she's not as brilliant or",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
268,00:07:38.892,00:07:40.125,you know what? she's not as brilliant or [belches] attractive.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
269,00:07:40.127,00:07:41.159,she's not as brilliant or [belches] attractive. >> beth: aw.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
270,00:07:41.161,00:07:42.694,[belches] attractive. >> beth: aw. th[belches]ank you.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
271,00:07:42.696,00:07:43.628,>> beth: aw. th[belches]ank you. [ laughter ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
272,00:07:43.630,00:07:45.163,th[belches]ank you. [ laughter ] >> oh! she did! she did it!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
273,00:07:45.165,00:07:47.165,[ laughter ] >> oh! she did! she did it! [ telephone rings ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
274,00:07:47.167,00:07:53.305,">> jerry: h-hello? >> rick: hey, jerry, it's rick. >> jerry: rick! hey.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
275,00:07:53.307,00:07:54.339,">> rick: hey, jerry, it's rick. >> jerry: rick! hey. [ laughs nervously ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
276,00:07:54.341,00:07:55.207,>> jerry: rick! hey. [ laughs nervously ] what's -- what's up?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
277,00:07:55.209,00:07:56.374,"[ laughs nervously ] what's -- what's up? >> rick: so, listen, the heat's",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
278,00:07:56.376,00:07:57.742,"what's -- what's up? >> rick: so, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
279,00:07:57.744,00:07:58.877,">> rick: so, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to turn, so morty and i are just",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
280,00:07:58.879,00:08:00.045,"on, and there's nowhere left to turn, so morty and i are just gonna fly my spaceship into a",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
281,00:08:00.047,00:08:00.679,"turn, so morty and i are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
282,00:08:00.681,00:08:01.213,gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole. >> jerry: what?!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
283,00:08:01.215,00:08:02.380,"black hole. >> jerry: what?! >> rick: is that cool with you,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
284,00:08:02.382,00:08:02.881,">> jerry: what?! >> rick: is that cool with you, dawg?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
285,00:08:02.883,00:08:03.715,">> rick: is that cool with you, dawg? >> jerry: rick, no!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
286,00:08:03.717,00:08:04.216,"dawg? >> jerry: rick, no! morty!!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
287,00:08:04.218,00:08:05.050,">> jerry: rick, no! morty!! >> we got it.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
288,00:08:05.052,00:08:06.384,morty!! >> we got it. the call's coming from...,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
289,00:08:06.386,00:08:08.386,>> we got it. the call's coming from... ♪ inside the house,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
290,00:08:08.388,00:08:09.321,the call's coming from... ♪ inside the house >> look at his face!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
291,00:08:09.323,00:08:10.055,♪ inside the house >> look at his face! >> you dummy!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
292,00:08:10.057,00:08:10.388,>> look at his face! >> you dummy! >> ugh.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
293,00:08:10.390,00:08:11.723,>> you dummy! >> ugh. can't believe our daughter,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
294,00:08:11.725,00:08:12.224,>> ugh. can't believe our daughter married you.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
295,00:08:12.226,00:08:13.158,can't believe our daughter married you. >> too easy!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
296,00:08:13.160,00:08:14.059,married you. >> too easy! [ laughter ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
297,00:08:14.061,00:08:15.160,>> too easy! [ laughter ] >> rick: the ricks are probably,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
298,00:08:15.162,00:08:16.228,[ laughter ] >> rick: the ricks are probably gonna waste some time messing,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
299,00:08:16.230,00:08:16.828,>> rick: the ricks are probably gonna waste some time messing with jerry.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
300,00:08:16.830,00:08:17.829,gonna waste some time messing with jerry. they won't be able to help,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
301,00:08:17.831,00:08:18.230,with jerry. they won't be able to help themselves.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
302,00:08:18.232,00:08:19.331,"they won't be able to help themselves. but as soon as they get bored,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
303,00:08:19.333,00:08:20.098,"themselves. but as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
304,00:08:20.100,00:08:21.900,"but as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us. >> phones à la clams and",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
305,00:08:21.902,00:08:23.001,they'll be onto us. >> phones à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
306,00:08:23.003,00:08:23.668,>> phones à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls. anything else?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
307,00:08:23.670,00:08:24.402,"phonesghetti with phone balls. anything else? >> rick: yeah, more phone",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
308,00:08:24.404,00:08:25.103,"anything else? >> rick: yeah, more phone sticks, please.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
309,00:08:25.105,00:08:26.037,">> rick: yeah, more phone sticks, please. >> right away, sir.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
310,00:08:26.039,00:08:27.339,"sticks, please. >> right away, sir. >> morty: you know, rick, when i",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
311,00:08:27.341,00:08:28.740,">> right away, sir. >> morty: you know, rick, when i first saw all those ricks and",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
312,00:08:28.742,00:08:29.941,">> morty: you know, rick, when i first saw all those ricks and mortys, i thought, ""gee, that",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
313,00:08:29.943,00:08:31.076,"first saw all those ricks and mortys, i thought, ""gee, that kind of devalues our bond.""",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
314,00:08:31.078,00:08:32.244,"mortys, i thought, ""gee, that kind of devalues our bond."" but then i realized it just",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
315,00:08:32.246,00:08:33.745,"kind of devalues our bond."" but then i realized it just means that our relationship must",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
316,00:08:33.747,00:08:34.946,but then i realized it just means that our relationship must be pretty special to span over,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
317,00:08:34.948,00:08:36.214,means that our relationship must be pretty special to span over all those different timelines.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
318,00:08:36.216,00:08:37.415,"be pretty special to span over all those different timelines. >> rick: yeah, it's got to be",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
319,00:08:37.417,00:08:38.049,"all those different timelines. >> rick: yeah, it's got to be that way.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
320,00:08:38.051,00:08:39.251,">> rick: yeah, it's got to be that way. you're a camouflage.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
321,00:08:39.253,00:08:40.685,that way. you're a camouflage. >> morty: camouflage?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
322,00:08:40.687,00:08:41.720,you're a camouflage. >> morty: camouflage? w-w-w-what are you talking,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
323,00:08:41.722,00:08:42.187,">> morty: camouflage? w-w-w-what are you talking about, rick?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
324,00:08:42.189,00:08:43.221,"w-w-w-what are you talking about, rick? >> rick: ricks have a very",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
325,00:08:43.223,00:08:44.222,"about, rick? >> rick: ricks have a very distinctive and traceable",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
326,00:08:44.224,00:08:45.357,>> rick: ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
327,00:08:45.359,00:08:46.691,distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius. the best way to hide from an,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
328,00:08:46.693,00:08:47.926,brain wave due to our genius. the best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
329,00:08:47.928,00:08:48.960,the best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
330,00:08:48.962,00:08:50.095,enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves that make ours,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
331,00:08:50.097,00:08:50.729,someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
332,00:08:50.731,00:08:52.297,"brain waves that make ours invisible. see, w-w-w-when a rick i-is with",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
333,00:08:52.299,00:08:54.399,"invisible. see, w-w-w-when a rick i-is with a morty, the genius waves get",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
334,00:08:54.401,00:08:56.301,"see, w-w-w-when a rick i-is with a morty, the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh...",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
335,00:08:56.303,00:08:57.769,"a morty, the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh... [ clears throat ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
336,00:08:57.771,00:08:58.436,"canceled out by the, uh... [ clears throat ] ...morty waves.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
337,00:08:58.438,00:09:00.939,[ clears throat ] ...morty waves. >> morty: um...because o-our,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
338,00:09:00.941,00:09:02.240,...morty waves. >> morty: um...because o-our personalities are so different?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
339,00:09:02.242,00:09:03.208,>> morty: um...because o-our personalities are so different? [ portal gun beeping ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
340,00:09:03.210,00:09:04.276,"personalities are so different? [ portal gun beeping ] >> rick: oh, shit, dawg.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
341,00:09:04.278,00:09:05.410,"[ portal gun beeping ] >> rick: oh, shit, dawg. my portal gun was hacked",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
342,00:09:05.412,00:09:06.945,">> rick: oh, shit, dawg. my portal gun was hacked remotely, morty -- obviously by",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
343,00:09:06.947,00:09:08.079,"my portal gun was hacked remotely, morty -- obviously by the real killer, to frame me.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
344,00:09:08.081,00:09:09.147,"remotely, morty -- obviously by the real killer, to frame me. but i was able to trace the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
345,00:09:09.149,00:09:09.714,"the real killer, to frame me. but i was able to trace the signal.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
346,00:09:09.716,00:09:10.382,but i was able to trace the signal. come on. let's go.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
347,00:09:10.384,00:09:11.249,signal. come on. let's go. [ door bursts open ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
348,00:09:11.251,00:09:11.783,come on. let's go. [ door bursts open ] uh-oh.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
349,00:09:11.785,00:09:12.284,[ door bursts open ] uh-oh. >> excuse me.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
350,00:09:12.286,00:09:13.385,uh-oh. >> excuse me. we've tracked a pair of,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
351,00:09:13.387,00:09:14.753,>> excuse me. we've tracked a pair of dangerous criminals to this,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
352,00:09:14.755,00:09:15.320,we've tracked a pair of dangerous criminals to this exact location.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
353,00:09:15.322,00:09:16.788,"dangerous criminals to this exact location. they look exactly like us, so",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
354,00:09:16.790,00:09:18.089,"exact location. they look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, i'm",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
355,00:09:18.091,00:09:19.291,"they look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, i'm gonna mark us each with a red",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
356,00:09:19.293,00:09:20.091,"in order to avoid confusion, i'm gonna mark us each with a red ""x"" right now.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
357,00:09:20.093,00:09:21.326,"gonna mark us each with a red ""x"" right now. that way, if someone has a gun",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
358,00:09:21.328,00:09:22.794,"""x"" right now. that way, if someone has a gun and we both tell you to shoot",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
359,00:09:22.796,00:09:23.962,"that way, if someone has a gun and we both tell you to shoot the other one because they're",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
360,00:09:23.964,00:09:25.297,"and we both tell you to shoot the other one because they're the evil one, you'll know who's",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
361,00:09:25.299,00:09:25.797,"the other one because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
362,00:09:25.799,00:09:28.300,"the evil one, you'll know who's lying. >> hey, check it out.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
363,00:09:28.302,00:09:30.068,"lying. >> hey, check it out. >> damn it!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
364,00:09:30.070,00:09:35.941,">> hey, you didn't pay your bill! >> t-the red ""x""! red ""x""!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
365,00:09:35.943,00:09:37.008,"bill! >> t-the red ""x""! red ""x""! >> rick: hey, it's a good thing",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
366,00:09:37.010,00:09:38.109,">> t-the red ""x""! red ""x""! >> rick: hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
367,00:09:38.111,00:09:39.177,">> rick: hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats and your favorite kind of shirt",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
368,00:09:39.179,00:09:40.011,"that space outlet had lab coats and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, morty?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
369,00:09:40.013,00:09:41.146,"and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, morty? >> morty: yeah, rick, i-i heard",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
370,00:09:41.148,00:09:41.947,"in stock, huh, morty? >> morty: yeah, rick, i-i heard you the first time.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
371,00:09:41.949,00:09:43.014,">> morty: yeah, rick, i-i heard you the first time. you don't have to keep saying it",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
372,00:09:43.016,00:09:43.815,you the first time. you don't have to keep saying it over and over.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
373,00:09:43.817,00:09:45.116,"you don't have to keep saying it over and over. >> rick: man, this place is way",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
374,00:09:45.118,00:09:45.784,"over and over. >> rick: man, this place is way off the grid.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
375,00:09:45.786,00:09:46.851,">> rick: man, this place is way off the grid. this guy does not want to be",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
376,00:09:46.853,00:09:47.152,off the grid. this guy does not want to be found.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
377,00:09:47.154,00:09:48.320,"this guy does not want to be found. >> morty: well, if he's a rick,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
378,00:09:48.322,00:09:49.487,"found. >> morty: well, if he's a rick, doesn't he just have to stand by",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
379,00:09:49.489,00:09:50.288,">> morty: well, if he's a rick, doesn't he just have to stand by a morty to hide?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
380,00:09:50.290,00:09:51.423,"doesn't he just have to stand by a morty to hide? i mean, isn't that what mortys",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
381,00:09:51.425,00:09:52.490,"a morty to hide? i mean, isn't that what mortys are -- human cloaking devices?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
382,00:09:52.492,00:09:53.858,"i mean, isn't that what mortys are -- human cloaking devices? >> rick: morty, you're making a",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
383,00:09:53.860,00:09:55.026,"are -- human cloaking devices? >> rick: morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
384,00:09:55.028,00:09:55.927,">> rick: morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
385,00:09:55.929,00:09:56.995,bigger deal out of this than it is. [ groaning in distance ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
386,00:09:56.997,00:09:58.196,"is. [ groaning in distance ] >> morty: oh, my god, rick,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
387,00:09:58.198,00:09:58.930,"[ groaning in distance ] >> morty: oh, my god, rick, look!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
388,00:09:58.932,00:09:59.864,">> morty: oh, my god, rick, look! there's a bunch of people",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
389,00:09:59.866,00:10:01.366,look! there's a bunch of people strapped all over that building!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
390,00:10:01.368,00:10:03.368,"there's a bunch of people strapped all over that building! >> rick: not people, morty --",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
391,00:10:03.370,00:10:04.869,"strapped all over that building! >> rick: not people, morty -- mortys.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
392,00:10:04.871,00:10:06.805,">> rick: not people, morty -- mortys. [ all groaning, screaming ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
393,00:10:06.807,00:10:14.279,">> morty: oh, god! w-w-why would somebody do this? it's horrible!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
394,00:10:14.281,00:10:15.347,"w-w-why would somebody do this? it's horrible! >> rick: well, one morty's",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
395,00:10:15.349,00:10:16.348,"it's horrible! >> rick: well, one morty's enough to hide from the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
396,00:10:16.350,00:10:17.816,">> rick: well, one morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, but you get -- you",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
397,00:10:17.818,00:10:19.050,"enough to hide from the bureaucrats, but you get -- you get a whole matrix of mortys and",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
398,00:10:19.052,00:10:20.318,"bureaucrats, but you get -- you get a whole matrix of mortys and put them in agonizing pain, that",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
399,00:10:20.320,00:10:21.786,"get a whole matrix of mortys and put them in agonizing pain, that creates a pattern that can hide",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
400,00:10:21.788,00:10:23.488,"put them in agonizing pain, that creates a pattern that can hide even from other ricks [bleep]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
401,00:10:23.490,00:10:25.357,creates a pattern that can hide even from other ricks [bleep] i fiddled with a co[burps]ncept,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
402,00:10:25.359,00:10:27.058,even from other ricks [bleep] i fiddled with a co[burps]ncept like this once.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
403,00:10:27.060,00:10:28.960,"i fiddled with a co[burps]ncept like this once. on paper, morty. on paper.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
404,00:10:28.962,00:10:29.861,"like this once. on paper, morty. on paper. i wouldn't do this.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
405,00:10:29.863,00:10:30.962,"on paper, morty. on paper. i wouldn't do this. it's barbaric overkill.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
406,00:10:30.964,00:10:32.297,"i wouldn't do this. it's barbaric overkill. i mean, you could accomplish the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
407,00:10:32.299,00:10:33.465,"it's barbaric overkill. i mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, five",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
408,00:10:33.467,00:10:35.333,"i mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, five mortys and a jumper cable.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
409,00:10:35.335,00:10:41.306,"which i also wouldn't do! i'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
410,00:10:41.308,00:10:42.240,"i'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship. >> beth: coffee time!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
411,00:10:42.242,00:10:42.874,craftsmanship. >> beth: coffee time! >> yeah!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
412,00:10:42.876,00:10:43.541,">> beth: coffee time! >> yeah! >> yo, yo, yo, yo!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
413,00:10:43.543,00:10:46.378,">> yeah! >> yo, yo, yo, yo! >> that's what i like to hear!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
414,00:10:46.380,00:10:47.312,">> yo, yo, yo, yo! >> that's what i like to hear! >> jerry: [ groans ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
415,00:10:47.314,00:10:48.046,">> that's what i like to hear! >> jerry: [ groans ] >> hi, jerry.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
416,00:10:48.048,00:10:49.147,">> jerry: [ groans ] >> hi, jerry. >> jerry: leave me alone.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
417,00:10:49.149,00:10:50.081,">> hi, jerry. >> jerry: leave me alone. i'm working.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
418,00:10:50.083,00:10:51.049,">> jerry: leave me alone. i'm working. >> oh, you are?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
419,00:10:51.051,00:10:52.050,"i'm working. >> oh, you are? w-w-w-what do you do?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
420,00:10:52.052,00:10:53.051,">> oh, you are? w-w-w-what do you do? >> jerry: [ scoffs ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
421,00:10:53.053,00:10:54.152,w-w-w-what do you do? >> jerry: [ scoffs ] i-i'm -- i'm in between,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
422,00:10:54.154,00:10:55.220,>> jerry: [ scoffs ] i-i'm -- i'm in between advertising jobs.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
423,00:10:55.222,00:10:57.188,i-i'm -- i'm in between advertising jobs. >> advertising? wow!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
424,00:10:57.190,00:10:58.423,"advertising jobs. >> advertising? wow! so, people need help figuring",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
425,00:10:58.425,00:10:59.824,">> advertising? wow! so, people need help figuring out what to buy, and then",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
426,00:10:59.826,00:11:00.525,"so, people need help figuring out what to buy, and then y-y-you help 'em?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
427,00:11:00.527,00:11:01.926,"out what to buy, and then y-y-you help 'em? >> jerry: [ laughing ] well,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
428,00:11:01.928,00:11:03.061,"y-y-you help 'em? >> jerry: [ laughing ] well, it's a little more complicated",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
429,00:11:03.063,00:11:03.428,">> jerry: [ laughing ] well, it's a little more complicated than that.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
430,00:11:03.430,00:11:04.829,"it's a little more complicated than that. >> well, i mean, you do it, and",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
431,00:11:04.831,00:11:05.897,"than that. >> well, i mean, you do it, and you seem like a guy who really",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
432,00:11:05.899,00:11:07.265,">> well, i mean, you do it, and you seem like a guy who really has it all together.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
433,00:11:07.267,00:11:14.172,">> jerry: dude, are you -- w-- you're being a dick, right? >> oh, gosh, i-i hope not.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
434,00:11:14.174,00:11:15.407,"you're being a dick, right? >> oh, gosh, i-i hope not. i-i-i-i-i-i wouldn't want to",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
435,00:11:15.409,00:11:16.875,">> oh, gosh, i-i hope not. i-i-i-i-i-i wouldn't want to offend you in any way.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
436,00:11:16.877,00:11:18.510,i-i-i-i-i-i wouldn't want to offend you in any way. >> jerry: you're really a rick?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
437,00:11:18.512,00:11:19.411,offend you in any way. >> jerry: you're really a rick? >> [ laughs ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
438,00:11:19.413,00:11:20.945,>> jerry: you're really a rick? >> [ laughs ] y-- of course i am -- just as,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
439,00:11:20.947,00:11:22.881,>> [ laughs ] y-- of course i am -- just as much as my morty's a morty.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
440,00:11:22.883,00:11:24.382,"y-- of course i am -- just as much as my morty's a morty. >> jerry: hey, he looks a lot",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
441,00:11:24.384,00:11:25.884,"much as my morty's a morty. >> jerry: hey, he looks a lot like eric stoltz from the movie",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
442,00:11:25.886,00:11:26.584,">> jerry: hey, he looks a lot like eric stoltz from the movie ""mask.""",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
443,00:11:26.586,00:11:28.086,"like eric stoltz from the movie ""mask."" you know, the one with cher in",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
444,00:11:28.088,00:11:28.386,"""mask."" you know, the one with cher in it?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
445,00:11:28.388,00:11:29.421,"you know, the one with cher in it? >> that's right, jerry!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
446,00:11:29.423,00:11:31.089,"it? >> that's right, jerry! he -- he's from a reality where",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
447,00:11:31.091,00:11:32.557,">> that's right, jerry! he -- he's from a reality where everyone is eric stoltz ""mask""",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
448,00:11:32.559,00:11:33.191,"he -- he's from a reality where everyone is eric stoltz ""mask"" people.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
449,00:11:33.193,00:11:34.559,"everyone is eric stoltz ""mask"" people. he's eric stoltz mask morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
450,00:11:34.561,00:11:36.227,people. he's eric stoltz mask morty. they assigned him to me because,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
451,00:11:36.229,00:11:37.896,he's eric stoltz mask morty. they assigned him to me because i never had any kids of my own.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
452,00:11:37.898,00:11:39.397,"they assigned him to me because i never had any kids of my own. but if i did, boy, i'd love them",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
453,00:11:39.399,00:11:40.932,"i never had any kids of my own. but if i did, boy, i'd love them if they were as smart and as",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
454,00:11:40.934,00:11:42.367,"but if i did, boy, i'd love them if they were as smart and as successful as you are, jerry.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
455,00:11:42.369,00:11:43.902,"if they were as smart and as successful as you are, jerry. >> hey, get a load of this.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
456,00:11:43.904,00:11:45.103,"successful as you are, jerry. >> hey, get a load of this. jerry's hanging out with",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
457,00:11:45.105,00:11:45.937,">> hey, get a load of this. jerry's hanging out with doofus rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
458,00:11:45.939,00:11:47.372,jerry's hanging out with doofus rick. >> [ laughs ] this is perfect.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
459,00:11:47.374,00:11:48.940,doofus rick. >> [ laughs ] this is perfect. >> i'm not doofus rick!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
460,00:11:48.942,00:11:50.241,>> [ laughs ] this is perfect. >> i'm not doofus rick! i'm rick j19-zeta-7!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
461,00:11:50.243,00:11:51.543,">> i'm not doofus rick! i'm rick j19-zeta-7! >> oh, is that the timeline",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
462,00:11:51.545,00:11:52.977,"i'm rick j19-zeta-7! >> oh, is that the timeline where everybody eats poop?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
463,00:11:52.979,00:11:54.379,">> oh, is that the timeline where everybody eats poop? jerry, you know this guy eats",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
464,00:11:54.381,00:11:55.146,"where everybody eats poop? jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
465,00:11:55.148,00:11:56.414,"jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right? >> hey, i don't eat poop!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
466,00:11:56.416,00:11:58.149,"poop, right? >> hey, i don't eat poop! y-you guys are always so mean to",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
467,00:11:58.151,00:11:58.450,">> hey, i don't eat poop! y-you guys are always so mean to me.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
468,00:11:58.452,00:11:59.250,y-you guys are always so mean to me. [ both laugh ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
469,00:11:59.252,00:12:01.052,me. [ both laugh ] >> [ sobbing ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
470,00:12:01.054,00:12:02.420,[ both laugh ] >> [ sobbing ] i guess it's only fair to tell,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
471,00:12:02.422,00:12:03.421,">> [ sobbing ] i guess it's only fair to tell you now, jerry.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
472,00:12:03.423,00:12:04.989,"i guess it's only fair to tell you now, jerry. i'm the worst rick of them all.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
473,00:12:04.991,00:12:06.291,"you now, jerry. i'm the worst rick of them all. >> jerry: according to who --",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
474,00:12:06.293,00:12:07.392,i'm the worst rick of them all. >> jerry: according to who -- other versions of you?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
475,00:12:07.394,00:12:08.993,">> jerry: according to who -- other versions of you? if i've learned one thing, it's",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
476,00:12:08.995,00:12:10.428,"other versions of you? if i've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
477,00:12:10.430,00:12:11.996,"if i've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life, you got to stop listening",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
478,00:12:11.998,00:12:12.597,"that before you get anywhere in life, you got to stop listening to yourself.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
479,00:12:12.599,00:12:13.164,"life, you got to stop listening to yourself. >> wow.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
480,00:12:13.166,00:12:14.432,"to yourself. >> wow. you really are wise, jerry.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
481,00:12:14.434,00:12:15.967,">> wow. you really are wise, jerry. i-i-i guess that's why you work",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
482,00:12:15.969,00:12:16.634,"you really are wise, jerry. i-i-i guess that's why you work in advertising.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
483,00:12:16.636,00:12:18.269,i-i-i guess that's why you work in advertising. >> jerry: the fact that you feel,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
484,00:12:18.271,00:12:19.938,in advertising. >> jerry: the fact that you feel that way makes you the best rick,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
485,00:12:19.940,00:12:20.472,>> jerry: the fact that you feel that way makes you the best rick of them all.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
486,00:12:20.474,00:12:22.107,that way makes you the best rick of them all. >> morty: you don't care about,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
487,00:12:22.109,00:12:22.640,of them all. >> morty: you don't care about me at all!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
488,00:12:22.642,00:12:24.075,>> morty: you don't care about me at all! i'm no different than that,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
489,00:12:24.077,00:12:25.143,me at all! i'm no different than that jacket you've got on!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
490,00:12:25.145,00:12:26.978,i'm no different than that jacket you've got on! y-y-y-- o-or your stupid portal,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
491,00:12:26.980,00:12:27.345,jacket you've got on! y-y-y-- o-or your stupid portal gun!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
492,00:12:27.347,00:12:28.246,y-y-y-- o-or your stupid portal gun! i'm just a tool!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
493,00:12:28.248,00:12:29.314,gun! i'm just a tool! i-i-i'm just an object!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
494,00:12:29.316,00:12:30.582,"i'm just a tool! i-i-i'm just an object! >> rick: hey, it's your choice",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
495,00:12:30.584,00:12:32.016,"i-i-i'm just an object! >> rick: hey, it's your choice to take it personally, morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
496,00:12:32.018,00:12:33.284,">> rick: hey, it's your choice to take it personally, morty. now, for the love of god, be",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
497,00:12:33.286,00:12:33.618,"to take it personally, morty. now, for the love of god, be quiet.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
498,00:12:33.620,00:12:34.619,"now, for the love of god, be quiet. the point of this is to get the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
499,00:12:34.621,00:12:35.286,quiet. the point of this is to get the drop on the guy.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
500,00:12:35.288,00:12:36.254,"the point of this is to get the drop on the guy. >> morty: you know what, rick?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
501,00:12:36.256,00:12:37.088,"drop on the guy. >> morty: you know what, rick? i'll tell you something!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
502,00:12:37.090,00:12:38.289,">> morty: you know what, rick? i'll tell you something! i'm more than a human shield!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
503,00:12:38.291,00:12:39.457,"i'll tell you something! i'm more than a human shield! >> rick: yeah, that's right.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
504,00:12:39.459,00:12:40.024,"i'm more than a human shield! >> rick: yeah, that's right. you    are.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
505,00:12:40.026,00:12:41.292,">> rick: yeah, that's right. you    are. you're a perfect, impenetrable",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
506,00:12:41.294,00:12:42.460,"you    are. you're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, morty,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
507,00:12:42.462,00:12:43.661,"you're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, morty, because you're as dumb as i am",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
508,00:12:43.663,00:12:45.430,"suit of human armor, morty, because you're as dumb as i am smart, which is why when i say",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
509,00:12:45.432,00:12:46.965,"because you're as dumb as i am smart, which is why when i say [burps] ""shut up,"" it's really",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
510,00:12:46.967,00:12:47.432,"smart, which is why when i say [burps] ""shut up,"" it's really good advice.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
511,00:12:47.434,00:12:49.968,"[burps] ""shut up,"" it's really good advice. [ whirring ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
512,00:12:49.970,00:12:51.503,"good advice. [ whirring ] great. nice work, morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
513,00:12:51.505,00:13:07.152,"[ groans ] [ hands clap slowly ] >> ooh. look at you, c-137.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
514,00:13:07.154,00:13:08.353,"[ hands clap slowly ] >> ooh. look at you, c-137. you -- aren't you a tough",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
515,00:13:08.355,00:13:09.020,">> ooh. look at you, c-137. you -- aren't you a tough customer.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
516,00:13:09.022,00:13:10.288,you -- aren't you a tough customer. >> rick: the slow clap? really?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
517,00:13:10.290,00:13:11.389,"customer. >> rick: the slow clap? really? kind of played out, dude.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
518,00:13:11.391,00:13:12.657,">> rick: the slow clap? really? kind of played out, dude. >> not in this dimension, it",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
519,00:13:12.659,00:13:13.191,"kind of played out, dude. >> not in this dimension, it isn't.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
520,00:13:13.193,00:13:14.492,">> not in this dimension, it isn't. in fact [chuckles] i invented",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
521,00:13:14.494,00:13:14.959,isn't. in fact [chuckles] i invented it.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
522,00:13:14.961,00:13:16.227,in fact [chuckles] i invented it. nobody else has ever even done,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
523,00:13:16.229,00:13:17.061,it. nobody else has ever even done it here before.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
524,00:13:17.063,00:13:18.196,"nobody else has ever even done it here before. >> rick: well, la-di-da.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
525,00:13:18.198,00:13:19.531,"it here before. >> rick: well, la-di-da. >> hey, that's mine!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
526,00:13:19.533,00:13:27.038,">> rick: i don't like the look of that rick, morty. we got to escape.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
527,00:13:27.040,00:13:28.072,"of that rick, morty. we got to escape. >> morty: i'm not gonna help",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
528,00:13:28.074,00:13:28.673,"we got to escape. >> morty: i'm not gonna help you, rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
529,00:13:28.675,00:13:29.240,">> morty: i'm not gonna help you, rick. y-you're a monster.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
530,00:13:29.242,00:13:30.375,"you, rick. y-you're a monster. >> rick: don't be rick-diculous,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
531,00:13:30.377,00:13:30.875,"y-you're a monster. >> rick: don't be rick-diculous, morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
532,00:13:30.877,00:13:31.910,">> rick: don't be rick-diculous, morty. >> morty: will you -- will you",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
533,00:13:31.912,00:13:33.044,morty. >> morty: will you -- will you stop saying that?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
534,00:13:33.046,00:13:33.912,>> morty: will you -- will you stop saying that? it's stupid.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
535,00:13:33.914,00:13:35.313,stop saying that? it's stupid. >> take his morty away.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
536,00:13:35.315,00:13:36.247,it's stupid. >> take his morty away. >> come with me.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
537,00:13:36.249,00:13:37.682,">> take his morty away. >> come with me. >> morty: yeah, gladly.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
538,00:13:37.684,00:13:40.018,">> come with me. >> morty: yeah, gladly. geez, man. ricks, huh?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
539,00:13:40.020,00:13:41.219,">> morty: yeah, gladly. geez, man. ricks, huh? hey, man, you seem to know how",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
540,00:13:41.221,00:13:42.053,"geez, man. ricks, huh? hey, man, you seem to know how this place works.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
541,00:13:42.055,00:13:43.254,"hey, man, you seem to know how this place works. is there any way we could shut",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
542,00:13:43.256,00:13:44.823,this place works. is there any way we could shut down that grid and rescue all,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
543,00:13:44.825,00:13:45.890,is there any way we could shut down that grid and rescue all those mortys outside?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
544,00:13:45.892,00:13:47.091,down that grid and rescue all those mortys outside? >> it would be pointless.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
545,00:13:47.093,00:13:48.259,those mortys outside? >> it would be pointless. mortys have no chance of,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
546,00:13:48.261,00:13:50.261,>> it would be pointless. mortys have no chance of defeating a rick.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
547,00:13:50.263,00:13:51.396,mortys have no chance of defeating a rick. in here.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
548,00:13:51.398,00:13:53.731,defeating a rick. in here. [ mortys sobbing ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
549,00:13:53.733,00:14:02.707,">> [ farts ] >> ah. isn't it beautiful? >> rick: yeah, yeah.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
550,00:14:02.709,00:14:03.842,">> ah. isn't it beautiful? >> rick: yeah, yeah. looks like payday at",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
551,00:14:03.844,00:14:05.109,">> rick: yeah, yeah. looks like payday at neverland ranch in here.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
552,00:14:05.111,00:14:05.710,looks like payday at neverland ranch in here. zing!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
553,00:14:05.712,00:14:06.678,neverland ranch in here. zing! >> [ chuckles ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
554,00:14:06.680,00:14:08.012,zing! >> [ chuckles ] >> rick: that guy got it.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
555,00:14:08.014,00:14:09.414,">> [ chuckles ] >> rick: that guy got it. >> unh-unh-unh, rick. quiet.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
556,00:14:09.416,00:14:11.382,">> rick: that guy got it. >> unh-unh-unh, rick. quiet. you're missing my symphony.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
557,00:14:11.384,00:14:13.251,">> unh-unh-unh, rick. quiet. you're missing my symphony. [  mortys groaning, screaming]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
558,00:14:13.253,00:14:15.186,"you're missing my symphony. [  mortys groaning, screaming] >> rick: hey, i'll take it over",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
559,00:14:15.188,00:14:16.287,"[  mortys groaning, screaming] >> rick: hey, i'll take it over mumford & sons.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
560,00:14:16.289,00:14:17.055,">> rick: hey, i'll take it over mumford & sons. zip!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
561,00:14:17.057,00:14:17.755,mumford & sons. zip! >> [ laughs ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
562,00:14:17.757,00:14:18.857,zip! >> [ laughs ] >> rick: this guy is on it!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
563,00:14:18.859,00:14:19.924,>> [ laughs ] >> rick: this guy is on it! >> he's not laughing at your,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
564,00:14:19.926,00:14:20.925,">> rick: this guy is on it! >> he's not laughing at your dumb jokes, rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
565,00:14:20.927,00:14:22.293,">> he's not laughing at your dumb jokes, rick. that's just a random noise it",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
566,00:14:22.295,00:14:23.695,"dumb jokes, rick. that's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
567,00:14:23.697,00:14:24.295,that's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds. >> [ laughs ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
568,00:14:24.297,00:14:25.396,makes every 10 seconds. >> [ laughs ] >> rick: [ groans ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
569,00:14:25.398,00:14:27.098,">> [ laughs ] >> rick: [ groans ] >> you see, rick, you're not as",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
570,00:14:27.100,00:14:29.133,">> rick: [ groans ] >> you see, rick, you're not as clever as you think you are.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
571,00:14:29.135,00:14:30.435,">> you see, rick, you're not as clever as you think you are. i  wantedyou to find me.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
572,00:14:30.437,00:14:32.203,"clever as you think you are. i  wantedyou to find me. we're not so [burps] different,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
573,00:14:32.205,00:14:32.937,"i  wantedyou to find me. we're not so [burps] different, you and i.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
574,00:14:32.939,00:14:34.072,"we're not so [burps] different, you and i. >> rick: yeah, duh!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
575,00:14:34.074,00:14:35.773,"you and i. >> rick: yeah, duh! >> see this right here, rick?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
576,00:14:35.775,00:14:36.975,">> rick: yeah, duh! >> see this right here, rick? i crunched the numbers.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
577,00:14:36.977,00:14:38.776,">> see this right here, rick? i crunched the numbers. i created a spectrum of all the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
578,00:14:38.778,00:14:39.143,i crunched the numbers. i created a spectrum of all the ricks.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
579,00:14:39.145,00:14:40.945,i created a spectrum of all the ricks. i listed them out from most evil,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
580,00:14:40.947,00:14:41.946,ricks. i listed them out from most evil to least evil.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
581,00:14:41.948,00:14:42.981,i listed them out from most evil to least evil. here's where i am.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
582,00:14:42.983,00:14:44.782,to least evil. here's where i am. and lookit -- right here's where,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
583,00:14:44.784,00:14:45.750,"here's where i am. and lookit -- right here's where you are, rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
584,00:14:45.752,00:14:46.918,"and lookit -- right here's where you are, rick. this guy right here --",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
585,00:14:46.920,00:14:47.385,"you are, rick. this guy right here -- super-weird.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
586,00:14:47.387,00:14:48.219,this guy right here -- super-weird. >> rick: i get it.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
587,00:14:48.221,00:14:49.387,super-weird. >> rick: i get it. so you want me to team up with,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
588,00:14:49.389,00:14:50.788,>> rick: i get it. so you want me to team up with you to take down the council of,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
589,00:14:50.790,00:14:51.289,"so you want me to team up with you to take down the council of ricks, right?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
590,00:14:51.291,00:14:52.457,"you to take down the council of ricks, right? is that where you're going with",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
591,00:14:52.459,00:14:52.957,"ricks, right? is that where you're going with this?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
592,00:14:52.959,00:14:53.958,is that where you're going with this? 'cause that's where i'd be,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
593,00:14:53.960,00:14:54.292,this? 'cause that's where i'd be going.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
594,00:14:54.294,00:14:54.926,'cause that's where i'd be going. >> please.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
595,00:14:54.928,00:14:56.461,going. >> please. i think i'm doing pretty good on,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
596,00:14:56.463,00:14:57.095,>> please. i think i'm doing pretty good on my own.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
597,00:14:57.097,00:14:58.463,i think i'm doing pretty good on my own. i'm simply gonna download the,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
598,00:14:58.465,00:15:00.164,my own. i'm simply gonna download the contents of your brain and then,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
599,00:15:00.166,00:15:02.333,i'm simply gonna download the contents of your brain and then kill you.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
600,00:15:02.335,00:15:04.269,"contents of your brain and then kill you. >> okay, if we add a little more",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
601,00:15:04.271,00:15:06.104,"kill you. >> okay, if we add a little more titanium nitrate and just a tad",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
602,00:15:06.106,00:15:07.805,">> okay, if we add a little more titanium nitrate and just a tad of chlorified tartrate...",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
603,00:15:07.807,00:15:09.107,titanium nitrate and just a tad of chlorified tartrate... [ mixture gurgles ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
604,00:15:09.109,00:15:11.276,of chlorified tartrate... [ mixture gurgles ] ...ovenless brownies!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
605,00:15:11.278,00:15:13.077,[ mixture gurgles ] ...ovenless brownies! >> jerry: mmm. mmm!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
606,00:15:13.079,00:15:14.312,...ovenless brownies! >> jerry: mmm. mmm! it's incredible what a gifted,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
607,00:15:14.314,00:15:15.413,>> jerry: mmm. mmm! it's incredible what a gifted mind can accomplish when,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
608,00:15:15.415,00:15:16.481,it's incredible what a gifted mind can accomplish when priorities are in order.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
609,00:15:16.483,00:15:17.348,"mind can accomplish when priorities are in order. >> well, come on.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
610,00:15:17.350,00:15:18.816,"priorities are in order. >> well, come on. i can't take all the credit,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
611,00:15:18.818,00:15:19.150,">> well, come on. i can't take all the credit, jerry.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
612,00:15:19.152,00:15:21.019,"i can't take all the credit, jerry. it was your idea.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
613,00:15:21.021,00:15:21.986,"jerry. it was your idea. come here, jerry!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
614,00:15:21.988,00:15:25.857,"it was your idea. come here, jerry! [ both laugh ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
615,00:15:25.859,00:15:27.759,"come here, jerry! [ both laugh ] >> jerry: hey, uh, come here.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
616,00:15:27.761,00:15:30.194,"[ both laugh ] >> jerry: hey, uh, come here. i-i want to show you something.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
617,00:15:30.196,00:15:31.796,">> jerry: hey, uh, come here. i-i want to show you something. okay, look, everybody makes fun",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
618,00:15:31.798,00:15:33.031,"i-i want to show you something. okay, look, everybody makes fun of me for getting these, but",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
619,00:15:33.033,00:15:34.299,"okay, look, everybody makes fun of me for getting these, but you're a genius scientist.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
620,00:15:34.301,00:15:35.199,"of me for getting these, but you're a genius scientist. what do you think?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
621,00:15:35.201,00:15:35.500,you're a genius scientist. what do you think? see?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
622,00:15:35.502,00:15:37.001,what do you think? see? there's little r2-d2s where the,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
623,00:15:37.003,00:15:39.203,see? there's little r2-d2s where the george washingtons should be.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
624,00:15:39.205,00:15:40.505,"there's little r2-d2s where the george washingtons should be. >> you know, jerry, i'm not",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
625,00:15:40.507,00:15:42.140,"george washingtons should be. >> you know, jerry, i'm not gonna tell you that these will",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
626,00:15:42.142,00:15:43.508,">> you know, jerry, i'm not gonna tell you that these will increase in value or even hold",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
627,00:15:43.510,00:15:44.809,gonna tell you that these will increase in value or even hold their current value.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
628,00:15:44.811,00:15:46.177,"increase in value or even hold their current value. the truth is, you bought them",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
629,00:15:46.179,00:15:47.312,"their current value. the truth is, you bought them because you like them.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
630,00:15:47.314,00:15:48.479,"the truth is, you bought them because you like them. they have value to you.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
631,00:15:48.481,00:15:50.348,because you like them. they have value to you. that's what matters.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
632,00:15:50.350,00:15:56.521,>> jerry: [ voice breaking ] how long are you staying? >> until we find your rick.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
633,00:15:56.523,00:15:58.823,long are you staying? >> until we find your rick. >> jerry: i found mine.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
634,00:15:58.825,00:16:00.692,>> until we find your rick. >> jerry: i found mine. i found mine.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
635,00:16:00.694,00:16:06.397,">> morty: help! >> there is no escape, my son. we will find our peace in the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
636,00:16:06.399,00:16:07.231,">> there is no escape, my son. we will find our peace in the next world.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
637,00:16:07.233,00:16:08.366,"we will find our peace in the next world. >> morty: so, what --",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
638,00:16:08.368,00:16:09.534,"next world. >> morty: so, what -- y-y-y-y-you're just gonna give",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
639,00:16:09.536,00:16:10.001,">> morty: so, what -- y-y-y-y-you're just gonna give up?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
640,00:16:10.003,00:16:11.836,y-y-y-y-you're just gonna give up? >> we're giving in -- to the,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
641,00:16:11.838,00:16:13.471,up? >> we're giving in -- to the power of the one true morty.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
642,00:16:13.473,00:16:15.139,">> we're giving in -- to the power of the one true morty. one day, he will return.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
643,00:16:15.141,00:16:17.141,"power of the one true morty. one day, he will return. >> together: praise the one true",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
644,00:16:17.143,00:16:19.410,"one day, he will return. >> together: praise the one true morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
645,00:16:19.412,00:16:20.912,>> together: praise the one true morty. >> morty: ugh.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
646,00:16:20.914,00:16:22.847,"morty. >> morty: ugh. all right, mortys, listen up.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
647,00:16:22.849,00:16:24.482,">> morty: ugh. all right, mortys, listen up. my name is morty smith, from",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
648,00:16:24.484,00:16:26.551,"all right, mortys, listen up. my name is morty smith, from earth dimension c-137.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
649,00:16:26.553,00:16:28.219,"my name is morty smith, from earth dimension c-137. i know you're scared, because",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
650,00:16:28.221,00:16:29.087,"earth dimension c-137. i know you're scared, because i'm scared.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
651,00:16:29.089,00:16:30.855,"i know you're scared, because i'm scared. but that's no reason to accept",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
652,00:16:30.857,00:16:31.389,i'm scared. but that's no reason to accept our fate!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
653,00:16:31.391,00:16:32.256,but that's no reason to accept our fate! we're mortys!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
654,00:16:32.258,00:16:33.558,our fate! we're mortys! we're not defined by our,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
655,00:16:33.560,00:16:35.026,we're mortys! we're not defined by our relationships to rick!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
656,00:16:35.028,00:16:37.328,we're not defined by our relationships to rick! our destiny is our own!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
657,00:16:37.330,00:16:38.563,relationships to rick! our destiny is our own! >> this sounds like something,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
658,00:16:38.565,00:16:40.031,our destiny is our own! >> this sounds like something the one true morty might say.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
659,00:16:40.033,00:16:41.165,>> this sounds like something the one true morty might say. i'm sick of being a human,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
660,00:16:41.167,00:16:41.532,the one true morty might say. i'm sick of being a human shield.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
661,00:16:41.534,00:16:43.067,i'm sick of being a human shield. i-i-i w-- i want to be a,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
662,00:16:43.069,00:16:43.568,shield. i-i-i w-- i want to be a gardener!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
663,00:16:43.570,00:16:45.403,"i-i-i w-- i want to be a gardener! >> i want to write really crazy,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
664,00:16:45.405,00:16:47.071,"gardener! >> i want to write really crazy, intense action novels!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
665,00:16:47.073,00:16:49.207,">> i want to write really crazy, intense action novels! >> i'm more than just a hammer!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
666,00:16:49.209,00:16:51.175,intense action novels! >> i'm more than just a hammer! >> he is the one true morty!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
667,00:16:51.177,00:16:52.076,>> i'm more than just a hammer! >> he is the one true morty! >> hooray!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
668,00:16:52.078,00:16:53.544,>> he is the one true morty! >> hooray! >> the one true morty!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
669,00:16:53.546,00:16:55.413,">> hooray! >> the one true morty! >> hey, keep it down!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
670,00:16:55.415,00:16:57.749,">> the one true morty! >> hey, keep it down! [ mortys shouting ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
671,00:16:57.751,00:17:07.959,">> you've lived quite a life, rick. it's a real shame you're not",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
672,00:17:07.961,00:17:09.193,rick. it's a real shame you're not gonna be around to see it,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
673,00:17:09.195,00:17:10.962,it's a real shame you're not gonna be around to see it through.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
674,00:17:10.964,00:17:22.273,"you're crying? over a morty? >> rick: no, i'm just allergic",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
675,00:17:22.275,00:17:23.107,"over a morty? >> rick: no, i'm just allergic to dipshits.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
676,00:17:23.109,00:17:24.108,">> rick: no, i'm just allergic to dipshits. >> ugh. pathetic.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
677,00:17:24.110,00:17:25.576,to dipshits. >> ugh. pathetic. we both know that if there's any,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
678,00:17:25.578,00:17:27.278,">> ugh. pathetic. we both know that if there's any truth in the universe, it's that",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
679,00:17:27.280,00:17:30.148,"we both know that if there's any truth in the universe, it's that ricks don't care about mortys.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
680,00:17:30.150,00:17:32.617,"truth in the universe, it's that ricks don't care about mortys. [ mortys shouting ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
681,00:17:32.619,00:17:34.152,"ricks don't care about mortys. [ mortys shouting ] do your worst, you little",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
682,00:17:34.154,00:17:35.219,"[ mortys shouting ] do your worst, you little bastards!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
683,00:17:35.221,00:17:36.454,"do your worst, you little bastards! kill me! do it!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
684,00:17:36.456,00:17:38.156,bastards! kill me! do it! do i-i-i-i-it!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
685,00:17:38.158,00:17:40.091,kill me! do it! do i-i-i-i-it! >> rick: morty! thank god!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
686,00:17:40.093,00:17:41.459,do i-i-i-i-it! >> rick: morty! thank god! get me out of this.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
687,00:17:41.461,00:17:42.060,>> rick: morty! thank god! get me out of this. come on!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
688,00:17:42.062,00:17:43.394,get me out of this. come on! >> morty: you're lucky i'm not a,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
689,00:17:43.396,00:17:43.928,come on! >> morty: you're lucky i'm not a rick.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
690,00:17:43.930,00:17:45.163,">> morty: you're lucky i'm not a rick. >> rick: point taken, but this",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
691,00:17:45.165,00:17:47.131,"rick. >> rick: point taken, but this is [burps] no time for arcs.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
692,00:17:47.133,00:17:48.633,">> rick: point taken, but this is [burps] no time for arcs. [ energy powering down ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
693,00:17:48.635,00:17:49.600,is [burps] no time for arcs. [ energy powering down ] >> oh!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
694,00:17:49.602,00:17:50.435,[ energy powering down ] >> oh! >> [ laughs ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
695,00:17:50.437,00:17:52.970,>> oh! >> [ laughs ] >> thank god!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
696,00:17:52.972,00:17:54.305,>> [ laughs ] >> thank god! [ dialing ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
697,00:17:54.307,00:17:55.306,>> thank god! [ dialing ] [ ringing ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
698,00:17:55.308,00:17:56.007,[ dialing ] [ ringing ] [ telephone rings ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
699,00:17:56.009,00:17:56.507,"[ ringing ] [ telephone rings ] >> yeah, hello.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
700,00:17:56.509,00:17:57.575,"[ telephone rings ] >> yeah, hello. >> rick: hey, what do me and",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
701,00:17:57.577,00:17:58.910,">> yeah, hello. >> rick: hey, what do me and o.j. not have in common?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
702,00:17:58.912,00:17:59.977,">> rick: hey, what do me and o.j. not have in common? >> huh? w-who is this?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
703,00:17:59.979,00:18:01.145,o.j. not have in common? >> huh? w-who is this? >> rick: i found the real,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
704,00:18:01.147,00:18:02.313,">> huh? w-who is this? >> rick: i found the real killer, bitch!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
705,00:18:02.315,00:18:03.981,">> rick: i found the real killer, bitch! get over here!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
706,00:18:03.983,00:18:09.320,">> yo, ding-dong, we're done here. time to go.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
707,00:18:09.322,00:18:11.155,"here. time to go. >> well, jerry [belches]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
708,00:18:11.157,00:18:13.091,"time to go. >> well, jerry [belches] i guess this means goodbye.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
709,00:18:13.093,00:18:14.492,">> well, jerry [belches] i guess this means goodbye. >> jerry: w-w-well, does it have",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
710,00:18:14.494,00:18:14.992,"i guess this means goodbye. >> jerry: w-w-well, does it have to?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
711,00:18:14.994,00:18:16.327,">> jerry: w-w-well, does it have to? i mean, you -- you look just",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
712,00:18:16.329,00:18:17.095,"to? i mean, you -- you look just like rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
713,00:18:17.097,00:18:18.496,"i mean, you -- you look just like rick. we could maybe, you know, get",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
714,00:18:18.498,00:18:19.297,"like rick. we could maybe, you know, get rid of him.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
715,00:18:19.299,00:18:20.498,"we could maybe, you know, get rid of him. i'm not saying kill him,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
716,00:18:20.500,00:18:21.332,"rid of him. i'm not saying kill him, necessarily.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
717,00:18:21.334,00:18:22.600,"i'm not saying kill him, necessarily. i -- i'm also not saying",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
718,00:18:22.602,00:18:24.535,"necessarily. i -- i'm also not saying necessarily not kill him, but --",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
719,00:18:24.537,00:18:26.270,"i -- i'm also not saying necessarily not kill him, but -- >> jerry, w-we both know it",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
720,00:18:26.272,00:18:27.271,"necessarily not kill him, but -- >> jerry, w-we both know it wouldn't work.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
721,00:18:27.273,00:18:28.973,">> jerry, w-we both know it wouldn't work. it's time to go back to our",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
722,00:18:28.975,00:18:30.341,wouldn't work. it's time to go back to our lives.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
723,00:18:30.343,00:18:31.542,"it's time to go back to our lives. i love you, jerry.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
724,00:18:31.544,00:18:32.477,"lives. i love you, jerry. i love you.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
725,00:18:32.479,00:18:34.345,"i love you, jerry. i love you. >> jerry: [ sighs ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
726,00:18:34.347,00:18:42.153,[ whimpers ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
727,00:18:42.155,00:18:51.896,>> together: hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut! hut!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
728,00:18:51.898,00:18:57.502,>> morty: w-what -- w-what's gonna happen to all these mortys?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
729,00:18:57.504,00:18:58.536,gonna happen to all these mortys? >> they'll go back to their,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
730,00:18:58.538,00:19:00.404,"mortys? >> they'll go back to their families, attend school",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
731,00:19:00.406,00:19:02.540,">> they'll go back to their families, attend school regularly, play video games,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
732,00:19:02.542,00:19:04.041,"families, attend school regularly, play video games, date girls.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
733,00:19:04.043,00:19:07.211,"regularly, play video games, date girls. poor little rickless bastards.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
734,00:19:07.213,00:19:09.547,"date girls. poor little rickless bastards. >> earth rick c-137, the council",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
735,00:19:09.549,00:19:11.149,"poor little rickless bastards. >> earth rick c-137, the council apologizes for its false",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
736,00:19:11.151,00:19:12.717,">> earth rick c-137, the council apologizes for its false accusation, and in the way of",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
737,00:19:12.719,00:19:14.552,"apologizes for its false accusation, and in the way of reparations [belches] for our",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
738,00:19:14.554,00:19:16.420,"accusation, and in the way of reparations [belches] for our terrible mistake, we would like",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
739,00:19:16.422,00:19:18.156,"reparations [belches] for our terrible mistake, we would like to compensate you with this",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
740,00:19:18.158,00:19:19.991,"terrible mistake, we would like to compensate you with this voucher for a free replacement",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
741,00:19:19.993,00:19:21.359,to compensate you with this voucher for a free replacement morty in the event that,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
742,00:19:21.361,00:19:22.393,voucher for a free replacement morty in the event that y[belches]our current [belches],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
743,00:19:22.395,00:19:23.060,morty in the event that y[belches]our current [belches] morty should --,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
744,00:19:23.062,00:19:24.996,"y[belches]our current [belches] morty should -- >> rick: uh, guys, not a good",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
745,00:19:24.998,00:19:25.396,"morty should -- >> rick: uh, guys, not a good time.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
746,00:19:25.398,00:19:27.098,">> rick: uh, guys, not a good time. come on, morty. let's hit it.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
747,00:19:27.100,00:19:32.703,">> morty: is it time for arcs yet, rick? i did a pretty good job back",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
748,00:19:32.705,00:19:34.105,"yet, rick? i did a pretty good job back there for a human cloaking",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
749,00:19:34.107,00:19:34.705,i did a pretty good job back there for a human cloaking device.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
750,00:19:34.707,00:19:35.439,there for a human cloaking device. saved your ass.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
751,00:19:35.441,00:19:36.507,"device. saved your ass. >> rick: all right, morty.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
752,00:19:36.509,00:19:37.575,"saved your ass. >> rick: all right, morty. don't break an arm jerking",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
753,00:19:37.577,00:19:38.242,">> rick: all right, morty. don't break an arm jerking yourself off.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
754,00:19:38.244,00:19:39.410,"don't break an arm jerking yourself off. >> morty: man, i can't believe",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
755,00:19:39.412,00:19:40.077,"yourself off. >> morty: man, i can't believe you, rick.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
756,00:19:40.079,00:19:41.245,">> morty: man, i can't believe you, rick. that right there, that w-- that",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
757,00:19:41.247,00:19:42.413,"you, rick. that right there, that w-- that was a great opportunity to show",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
758,00:19:42.415,00:19:43.581,"that right there, that w-- that was a great opportunity to show a little humanity, you know?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
759,00:19:43.583,00:19:44.682,"was a great opportunity to show a little humanity, you know? to connect with me a little.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
760,00:19:44.684,00:19:46.050,"a little humanity, you know? to connect with me a little. >> rick: hey, morty, you want",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
761,00:19:46.052,00:19:47.218,"to connect with me a little. >> rick: hey, morty, you want connection, go be part of some",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
762,00:19:47.220,00:19:48.419,">> rick: hey, morty, you want connection, go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
763,00:19:48.421,00:19:48.719,"connection, go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb ricks.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
764,00:19:48.721,00:19:50.087,"stupid club, like all those dumb ricks. you know, maybe i don't connect",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
765,00:19:50.089,00:19:51.222,"ricks. you know, maybe i don't connect because i'm the rickest rick",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
766,00:19:51.224,00:19:51.722,"you know, maybe i don't connect because i'm the rickest rick there is.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
767,00:19:51.724,00:19:53.090,"because i'm the rickest rick there is. and, you know, it would",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
768,00:19:53.092,00:19:54.592,"there is. and, you know, it would g-- [belches] go without saying",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
769,00:19:54.594,00:19:56.260,"and, you know, it would g-- [belches] go without saying that the rickest rick would have",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
770,00:19:56.262,00:19:57.261,g-- [belches] go without saying that the rickest rick would have the mortyest morty.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
771,00:19:57.263,00:19:58.596,that the rickest rick would have the mortyest morty. >> morty: it would go without,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
772,00:19:58.598,00:19:59.397,"the mortyest morty. >> morty: it would go without saying, huh?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
773,00:19:59.399,00:20:00.598,">> morty: it would go without saying, huh? >> rick: yeah, it would.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
774,00:20:00.600,00:20:01.732,"saying, huh? >> rick: yeah, it would. did you hear me say it?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
775,00:20:01.734,00:20:03.401,">> rick: yeah, it would. did you hear me say it? >> morty: nah.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
776,00:20:03.403,00:20:04.402,did you hear me say it? >> morty: nah. the mortyest morty.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
777,00:20:04.404,00:20:05.770,>> morty: nah. the mortyest morty. >> rick: just don't get too big,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
778,00:20:05.772,00:20:07.371,"the mortyest morty. >> rick: just don't get too big for your loafers, buster brown.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
779,00:20:07.373,00:20:08.739,">> rick: just don't get too big for your loafers, buster brown. a cocky morty can lead to some",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
780,00:20:08.741,00:20:09.540,"for your loafers, buster brown. a cocky morty can lead to some big problems.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
781,00:20:09.542,00:20:11.075,a cocky morty can lead to some big problems. it can be a real bad thing for,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
782,00:20:11.077,00:20:11.576,big problems. it can be a real bad thing for everybody.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
783,00:20:11.578,00:20:13.244,"it can be a real bad thing for everybody. >> morty: oh, yeah? how's that?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
784,00:20:13.246,00:20:14.545,"everybody. >> morty: oh, yeah? how's that? >> rick: u-uh, i'll explain when",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
785,00:20:14.547,00:20:16.247,">> morty: oh, yeah? how's that? >> rick: u-uh, i'll explain when you're older.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
786,00:20:16.249,00:20:17.548,">> rick: u-uh, i'll explain when you're older. [ camera shutter clicks ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
787,00:20:17.550,00:20:18.549,you're older. [ camera shutter clicks ] >> what a mess.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
788,00:20:18.551,00:20:20.451,[ camera shutter clicks ] >> what a mess. >> pride cometh before the fall.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
789,00:20:20.453,00:20:22.386,>> what a mess. >> pride cometh before the fall. i guess he got what he deserved.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
790,00:20:22.388,00:20:23.287,>> pride cometh before the fall. i guess he got what he deserved. >> what is that?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
791,00:20:23.289,00:20:24.455,i guess he got what he deserved. >> what is that? [ electricity crackles ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
792,00:20:24.457,00:20:25.423,>> what is that? [ electricity crackles ] >> hand me the laser,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
793,00:20:25.425,00:20:26.123,[ electricity crackles ] >> hand me the laser difibulator.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
794,00:20:26.125,00:20:27.792,">> hand me the laser difibulator. >> hey, guys, uh, c-can i help?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
795,00:20:27.794,00:20:29.160,"difibulator. >> hey, guys, uh, c-can i help? >> no! go clean the toilets.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
796,00:20:29.162,00:20:30.428,">> hey, guys, uh, c-can i help? >> no! go clean the toilets. maybe you'll make friends with",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
797,00:20:30.430,00:20:31.095,>> no! go clean the toilets. maybe you'll make friends with some turds.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
798,00:20:31.097,00:20:32.296,maybe you'll make friends with some turds. >> you make us ashamed to be,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
799,00:20:32.298,00:20:33.397,some turds. >> you make us ashamed to be ourselves!,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
800,00:20:33.399,00:20:38.236,my god. i've seen this technology before.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
801,00:20:38.238,00:20:39.103,i've seen this technology before. [ device beeping ],S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
802,00:20:39.105,00:20:40.238,before. [ device beeping ] >> this rick was being,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
803,00:20:40.240,00:20:41.305,[ device beeping ] >> this rick was being controlled remotely --,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
804,00:20:41.307,00:20:42.673,>> this rick was being controlled remotely -- puppeteered by somebody else.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
805,00:20:42.675,00:20:43.774,controlled remotely -- puppeteered by somebody else. this is the receiver.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
806,00:20:43.776,00:20:45.142,"puppeteered by somebody else. this is the receiver. >> yeah, but where's the",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
807,00:20:45.144,00:20:46.744,"this is the receiver. >> yeah, but where's the transmitter?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
808,00:20:46.746,00:20:48.613,">> yeah, but where's the transmitter? [ beeping continues ]",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
809,00:20:48.615,00:21:39.463,">> rick: wubba dubba dub dub! oh. hey, jerry. w-w-w-what are you doing in my",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
810,00:21:39.465,00:21:40.197,"oh. hey, jerry. w-w-w-what are you doing in my room, buddy?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
811,00:21:40.199,00:21:41.132,"w-w-w-what are you doing in my room, buddy? >> jerry: nothing.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
812,00:21:41.134,00:21:42.366,"room, buddy? >> jerry: nothing. [ shakily ] i was just, um,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
813,00:21:42.368,00:21:43.634,">> jerry: nothing. [ shakily ] i was just, um, [sniffles] checking the smoke",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
814,00:21:43.636,00:21:44.368,"[ shakily ] i was just, um, [sniffles] checking the smoke detectors.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
815,00:21:44.370,00:21:45.536,[sniffles] checking the smoke detectors. >> rick: all right.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
816,00:21:45.538,00:21:47.471,"detectors. >> rick: all right. okay, get out.",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
817,00:21:47.473,00:22:11.829,what's that dipshit doing out there? are you friends with him?,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
818,00:22:11.831,00:22:13.364,"there? are you friends with him? you know he eats his own shit,",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
819,00:22:13.366,00:22:13.731,"are you friends with him? you know he eats his own shit, right?",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
820,00:22:13.733,00:22:15.333,"you know he eats his own shit, right? [ laughing ] oh, my god, this is",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
821,00:22:15.335,00:22:15.666,"right? [ laughing ] oh, my god, this is rich!",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
822,00:22:15.668,00:22:17.234,"[ laughing ] oh, my god, this is rich! i've got like [belches] 10 ricks",S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
823,00:22:17.236,00:22:18.569,rich! i've got like [belches] 10 ricks to call right now.,S01,E10,Close Rickcounters of the Rick Kind
1,00:00:00.000,00:00:04.103,">> summer: bye, mom! bye, dad! >> morty: drive carefully! >> rick: have fun, you two.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
2,00:00:04.105,00:00:05.437,">> morty: drive carefully! >> rick: have fun, you two. >> beth: yes, we will have as",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
3,00:00:05.439,00:00:06.772,">> rick: have fun, you two. >> beth: yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our...",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
4,00:00:06.774,00:00:08.540,">> beth: yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our... titanic -themed getaway.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
5,00:00:08.542,00:00:09.775,"much fun as possible on our... titanic -themed getaway. >> jerry: let's lose the 'tude,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
6,00:00:09.777,00:00:10.409,"titanic -themed getaway. >> jerry: let's lose the 'tude, please.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
7,00:00:10.411,00:00:11.877,">> jerry: let's lose the 'tude, please. it's supposed to be romantic.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
8,00:00:11.879,00:00:13.379,"please. it's supposed to be romantic. >> beth: speaking of disasters,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
9,00:00:13.381,00:00:14.413,"it's supposed to be romantic. >> beth: speaking of disasters, dad, we are leaving you in",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
10,00:00:14.415,00:00:14.880,">> beth: speaking of disasters, dad, we are leaving you in charge, here.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
11,00:00:14.882,00:00:15.881,"dad, we are leaving you in charge, here. >> rick: i know, c-can we wrap",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
12,00:00:15.883,00:00:16.548,"charge, here. >> rick: i know, c-can we wrap this up?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
13,00:00:16.550,00:00:17.716,">> rick: i know, c-can we wrap this up? morty and i [burps] have some",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
14,00:00:17.718,00:00:19.118,this up? morty and i [burps] have some synthetic laser eels oxidizing,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
15,00:00:19.120,00:00:19.685,morty and i [burps] have some synthetic laser eels oxidizing in the garage.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
16,00:00:19.687,00:00:21.553,"synthetic laser eels oxidizing in the garage. >> beth: hey, don't blow me off.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
17,00:00:21.555,00:00:23.122,"in the garage. >> beth: hey, don't blow me off. i am drawing a line, okay?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
18,00:00:23.124,00:00:24.590,">> beth: hey, don't blow me off. i am drawing a line, okay? any damage to this house or",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
19,00:00:24.592,00:00:26.458,"i am drawing a line, okay? any damage to this house or these children when we get back,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
20,00:00:26.460,00:00:28.560,"any damage to this house or these children when we get back, and...n-no more adventures with",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
21,00:00:28.562,00:00:29.294,"these children when we get back, and...n-no more adventures with morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
22,00:00:29.296,00:00:30.295,"and...n-no more adventures with morty. >> morty: aw, geez, rick.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
23,00:00:30.297,00:00:31.530,"morty. >> morty: aw, geez, rick. if my mom's the one who's saying",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
24,00:00:31.532,00:00:32.598,">> morty: aw, geez, rick. if my mom's the one who's saying it, then you know it's pretty",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
25,00:00:32.600,00:00:33.399,"if my mom's the one who's saying it, then you know it's pretty serious this time.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
26,00:00:33.401,00:00:34.366,"it, then you know it's pretty serious this time. >> both: that's right.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
27,00:00:34.368,00:00:35.234,serious this time. >> both: that's right. >> jerry: wait. what?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
28,00:00:35.236,00:00:36.568,">> both: that's right. >> jerry: wait. what? >> rick: listen, you have my",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
29,00:00:36.570,00:00:37.636,">> jerry: wait. what? >> rick: listen, you have my word as a caregiver,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
30,00:00:37.638,00:00:39.138,">> rick: listen, you have my word as a caregiver, everything's gonna be fine.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
31,00:00:39.140,00:00:40.472,"word as a caregiver, everything's gonna be fine. and if not, like you say, no",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
32,00:00:40.474,00:00:41.807,"everything's gonna be fine. and if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
33,00:00:41.809,00:00:43.575,"and if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever. it's like that old song ""blomp",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
34,00:00:43.577,00:00:45.310,"more adventures or whatever. it's like that old song ""blomp blomp-a noop noop a-noop noop",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
35,00:00:45.312,00:00:45.744,"it's like that old song ""blomp blomp-a noop noop a-noop noop noop.""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
36,00:00:45.746,00:00:47.413,"blomp-a noop noop a-noop noop noop."" y-you guys know that song?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
37,00:00:47.415,00:00:48.580,"noop."" y-you guys know that song? from tiny rogerts?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
38,00:00:48.582,00:00:49.581,y-you guys know that song? from tiny rogerts? you never heard of it?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
39,00:00:49.583,00:00:51.250,"from tiny rogerts? you never heard of it? you know, the black effeminate",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
40,00:00:51.252,00:00:52.317,"you never heard of it? you know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
41,00:00:52.319,00:00:53.485,"you know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s? no-nobody?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
42,00:00:53.487,00:00:54.653,"guy from the '50s? no-nobody? a-all right, whatever.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
43,00:00:54.655,00:00:55.587,"no-nobody? a-all right, whatever. look, who cares?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
44,00:00:55.589,00:00:57.723,"a-all right, whatever. look, who cares? just go on your stupid trip.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
45,00:00:57.725,00:00:59.458,"look, who cares? just go on your stupid trip. >> jerry: not one thing out of",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
46,00:00:59.460,00:01:00.559,just go on your stupid trip. >> jerry: not one thing out of place.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
47,00:01:00.561,00:01:03.629,>> jerry: not one thing out of place. [ engine turns over ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
48,00:01:03.631,00:01:05.798,place. [ engine turns over ] not a single thing.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
49,00:01:05.800,00:01:12.271,"[ bubbling, crackling ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
50,00:01:12.273,00:01:20.179,">> summer: well, we're past the point of no return. i'm going to have a party.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
51,00:01:20.181,00:01:55.447,"i found jello. can you sneak your mom's vodka? yes, she does.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
52,00:01:55.449,00:01:56.882,"can you sneak your mom's vodka? yes, she does. i saw it in your laundry room.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
53,00:01:56.884,00:01:58.650,"yes, she does. i saw it in your laundry room. listen, you can't both be in",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
54,00:01:58.652,00:01:59.685,"i saw it in your laundry room. listen, you can't both be in denial about it.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
55,00:01:59.687,00:02:00.352,"listen, you can't both be in denial about it. okay, bye.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
56,00:02:00.354,00:02:01.487,"denial about it. okay, bye. >> morty: summer, you can't",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
57,00:02:01.489,00:02:02.287,"okay, bye. >> morty: summer, you can't throw a party!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
58,00:02:02.289,00:02:03.288,">> morty: summer, you can't throw a party! remember what mom said?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
59,00:02:03.290,00:02:04.323,"throw a party! remember what mom said? >> summer: yeah, if anything",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
60,00:02:04.325,00:02:05.324,"remember what mom said? >> summer: yeah, if anything gets messed up, you and",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
61,00:02:05.326,00:02:06.325,">> summer: yeah, if anything gets messed up, you and grandpa rick get punished.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
62,00:02:06.327,00:02:07.526,"gets messed up, you and grandpa rick get punished. i'm only a human being, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
63,00:02:07.528,00:02:08.727,"grandpa rick get punished. i'm only a human being, morty. >> morty: rick, tell summer she",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
64,00:02:08.729,00:02:09.628,"i'm only a human being, morty. >> morty: rick, tell summer she can't have a party!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
65,00:02:09.630,00:02:10.829,">> morty: rick, tell summer she can't have a party! >> rick: uh, summer, you can't",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
66,00:02:10.831,00:02:11.497,"can't have a party! >> rick: uh, summer, you can't have a party.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
67,00:02:11.499,00:02:12.331,">> rick: uh, summer, you can't have a party. >> summer: [ scoffs ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
68,00:02:12.333,00:02:13.332,have a party. >> summer: [ scoffs ] >> rick: because [burps] i'm,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
69,00:02:13.334,00:02:14.833,">> summer: [ scoffs ] >> rick: because [burps] i'm having a party, b-i-i-i-itch!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
70,00:02:14.835,00:02:15.968,">> rick: because [burps] i'm having a party, b-i-i-i-itch! >> morty: oh, what?!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
71,00:02:15.970,00:02:16.735,"having a party, b-i-i-i-itch! >> morty: oh, what?! rick, you can't!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
72,00:02:16.737,00:02:17.836,">> morty: oh, what?! rick, you can't! >> summer: what do you mean",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
73,00:02:17.838,00:02:18.804,"rick, you can't! >> summer: what do you mean you're having a party?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
74,00:02:18.806,00:02:20.005,>> summer: what do you mean you're having a party? are some glip glops from the,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
75,00:02:20.007,00:02:21.473,you're having a party? are some glip glops from the third dimension going to come,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
76,00:02:21.475,00:02:22.508,are some glip glops from the third dimension going to come over and play cards or,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
77,00:02:22.510,00:02:22.975,third dimension going to come over and play cards or something?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
78,00:02:22.977,00:02:23.842,"over and play cards or something? >> rick: ""glip glop?""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
79,00:02:23.844,00:02:24.843,"something? >> rick: ""glip glop?"" you're lucky a traflorkian",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
80,00:02:24.845,00:02:25.844,">> rick: ""glip glop?"" you're lucky a traflorkian doesn't hear you say that.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
81,00:02:25.846,00:02:26.845,you're lucky a traflorkian doesn't hear you say that. >> summer: is that like their,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
82,00:02:26.847,00:02:27.412,doesn't hear you say that. >> summer: is that like their n-word?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
83,00:02:27.414,00:02:28.514,>> summer: is that like their n-word? >> rick: it's like the n-word,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
84,00:02:28.516,00:02:29.648,n-word? >> rick: it's like the n-word and the c-word had a baby and it,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
85,00:02:29.650,00:02:30.716,>> rick: it's like the n-word and the c-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
86,00:02:30.718,00:02:31.416,and the c-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for jews.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
87,00:02:31.418,00:02:32.417,"was raised by all the bad words for jews. >> morty: listen, i think the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
88,00:02:32.419,00:02:33.418,"for jews. >> morty: listen, i think the three of us could just, you",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
89,00:02:33.420,00:02:34.419,">> morty: listen, i think the three of us could just, you know, have a nice time, like",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
90,00:02:34.421,00:02:35.521,"three of us could just, you know, have a nice time, like just hanging out, and, you know,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
91,00:02:35.523,00:02:36.522,"know, have a nice time, like just hanging out, and, you know, doing a little bonding and --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
92,00:02:36.524,00:02:37.523,"just hanging out, and, you know, doing a little bonding and -- >> summer: screw that.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
93,00:02:37.525,00:02:38.824,doing a little bonding and -- >> summer: screw that. this is my chance to gain some,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
94,00:02:38.826,00:02:40.025,>> summer: screw that. this is my chance to gain some footing with the cool kids.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
95,00:02:40.027,00:02:41.393,this is my chance to gain some footing with the cool kids. >> rick: that's why you party?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
96,00:02:41.395,00:02:42.427,"footing with the cool kids. >> rick: that's why you party? boy, you really are 17.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
97,00:02:42.429,00:02:43.529,">> rick: that's why you party? boy, you really are 17. >> summer: why do you party?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
98,00:02:43.531,00:02:44.696,"boy, you really are 17. >> summer: why do you party? >> rick: to get [burps]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
99,00:02:44.698,00:02:46.265,">> summer: why do you party? >> rick: to get [burps] wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
100,00:02:46.267,00:02:46.765,">> rick: to get [burps] wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
101,00:02:46.767,00:02:48.367,"wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son! >> summer: just keep your sci-fi",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
102,00:02:48.369,00:02:49.568,son! >> summer: just keep your sci-fi friends away from my awesome,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
103,00:02:49.570,00:02:50.002,>> summer: just keep your sci-fi friends away from my awesome ones.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
104,00:02:50.004,00:02:51.036,"friends away from my awesome ones. >> rick: yeah, and you keep your",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
105,00:02:51.038,00:02:52.271,"ones. >> rick: yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away from my",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
106,00:02:52.273,00:02:54.706,">> rick: yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away from my canapes.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
107,00:02:54.708,00:02:56.408,"awesome friends away from my canapes. >> after dinner, titanic 2 will",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
108,00:02:56.410,00:02:57.876,"canapes. >> after dinner, titanic 2 will attach to the rail system near",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
109,00:02:57.878,00:02:59.511,">> after dinner, titanic 2 will attach to the rail system near our replica iceberg, and the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
110,00:02:59.513,00:03:00.879,"attach to the rail system near our replica iceberg, and the hydraulics encased in these",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
111,00:03:00.881,00:03:02.548,"our replica iceberg, and the hydraulics encased in these tubes will execute a controlled",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
112,00:03:02.550,00:03:03.882,hydraulics encased in these tubes will execute a controlled sink into the icy depths.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
113,00:03:03.884,00:03:05.717,tubes will execute a controlled sink into the icy depths. >> jerry: a rail system seems,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
114,00:03:05.719,00:03:07.586,sink into the icy depths. >> jerry: a rail system seems archaic for an attraction this,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
115,00:03:07.588,00:03:08.520,>> jerry: a rail system seems archaic for an attraction this impressive.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
116,00:03:08.522,00:03:10.355,archaic for an attraction this impressive. are you sure the ship will sink?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
117,00:03:10.357,00:03:11.723,impressive. are you sure the ship will sink? >> i can assure you the ship,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
118,00:03:11.725,00:03:13.358,"are you sure the ship will sink? >> i can assure you the ship will sink, as it has a thousand",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
119,00:03:13.360,00:03:13.959,">> i can assure you the ship will sink, as it has a thousand times before.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
120,00:03:13.961,00:03:16.361,"will sink, as it has a thousand times before. it is un-unsinkable.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
121,00:03:16.363,00:03:17.462,times before. it is un-unsinkable. >> ooh!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
122,00:03:17.464,00:03:18.964,"it is un-unsinkable. >> ooh! >> jerry: look, it's the line",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
123,00:03:18.966,00:03:19.898,">> ooh! >> jerry: look, it's the line for the bow!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
124,00:03:19.900,00:03:21.433,">> jerry: look, it's the line for the bow! >> beth: jerry, i'd love to just",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
125,00:03:21.435,00:03:22.701,"for the bow! >> beth: jerry, i'd love to just kick back with a margarita and",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
126,00:03:22.703,00:03:23.402,">> beth: jerry, i'd love to just kick back with a margarita and read.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
127,00:03:23.404,00:03:24.570,kick back with a margarita and read. do you mind if i skip the whole,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
128,00:03:24.572,00:03:25.571,"read. do you mind if i skip the whole ""king of the world"" bit?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
129,00:03:25.573,00:03:26.705,"do you mind if i skip the whole ""king of the world"" bit? >> jerry: well, it's not the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
130,00:03:26.707,00:03:27.706,"""king of the world"" bit? >> jerry: well, it's not the ""king of the world"" bit.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
131,00:03:27.708,00:03:28.941,">> jerry: well, it's not the ""king of the world"" bit. that's jack and fabrizio.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
132,00:03:28.943,00:03:30.542,"""king of the world"" bit. that's jack and fabrizio. this is where rose says, ""i'm",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
133,00:03:30.544,00:03:31.410,"that's jack and fabrizio. this is where rose says, ""i'm flying, jack!""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
134,00:03:31.412,00:03:32.444,"this is where rose says, ""i'm flying, jack!"" but whatever.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
135,00:03:32.446,00:03:33.478,"flying, jack!"" but whatever. i can be the only one to do it",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
136,00:03:33.480,00:03:33.879,but whatever. i can be the only one to do it alone.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
137,00:03:33.881,00:03:35.447,"i can be the only one to do it alone. >> beth: well, what about her?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
138,00:03:35.449,00:03:36.415,"alone. >> beth: well, what about her? excuse me, ma'am.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
139,00:03:36.417,00:03:37.916,">> beth: well, what about her? excuse me, ma'am. would you like to take my place",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
140,00:03:37.918,00:03:38.717,"excuse me, ma'am. would you like to take my place in line?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
141,00:03:38.719,00:03:39.751,"would you like to take my place in line? >> i, uh -- i could get into",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
142,00:03:39.753,00:03:40.452,"in line? >> i, uh -- i could get into trouble.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
143,00:03:40.454,00:03:42.654,">> i, uh -- i could get into trouble. >> beth: we won't tell.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
144,00:03:42.656,00:03:43.789,trouble. >> beth: we won't tell. >> jerry: so...,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
145,00:03:43.791,00:03:45.424,>> beth: we won't tell. >> jerry: so... you're a titanic fanatic?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
146,00:03:45.426,00:03:46.491,">> jerry: so... you're a titanic fanatic? >> oh, yes.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
147,00:03:46.493,00:03:47.593,"you're a titanic fanatic? >> oh, yes. i've worked here since it",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
148,00:03:47.595,00:03:48.927,">> oh, yes. i've worked here since it opened, but i've never been able",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
149,00:03:48.929,00:03:49.962,"i've worked here since it opened, but i've never been able to participate.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
150,00:03:49.964,00:03:51.897,"opened, but i've never been able to participate. >> jerry: happy to help...rose.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
151,00:03:51.899,00:03:53.932,to participate. >> jerry: happy to help...rose. >> [ giggles ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
152,00:03:53.934,00:03:55.400,>> jerry: happy to help...rose. >> [ giggles ] >> i love watching bukkake.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
153,00:03:55.402,00:03:56.602,">> [ giggles ] >> i love watching bukkake. i mean, like, i don't know if i",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
154,00:03:56.604,00:03:57.803,">> i love watching bukkake. i mean, like, i don't know if i personally would ever do it...",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
155,00:03:57.805,00:03:59.404,"i mean, like, i don't know if i personally would ever do it... >> summer: brad! hey!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
156,00:03:59.406,00:03:59.905,personally would ever do it... >> summer: brad! hey! >> yo.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
157,00:03:59.907,00:04:00.772,>> summer: brad! hey! >> yo. >> brad is here!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
158,00:04:00.774,00:04:02.441,">> yo. >> brad is here! quick, make my hair look drunk.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
159,00:04:02.443,00:04:03.575,">> brad is here! quick, make my hair look drunk. >> check it out.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
160,00:04:03.577,00:04:04.943,"quick, make my hair look drunk. >> check it out. tammy's already drunk.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
161,00:04:04.945,00:04:07.913,>> check it out. tammy's already drunk. cool.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
162,00:04:07.915,00:04:09.448,tammy's already drunk. cool. >> the beacon was activated.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
163,00:04:09.450,00:04:10.449,cool. >> the beacon was activated. who is in danger?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
164,00:04:10.451,00:04:12.117,>> the beacon was activated. who is in danger? >> summer: ugh! grandpa!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
165,00:04:12.119,00:04:13.652,who is in danger? >> summer: ugh! grandpa! >> rick: birdperson!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
166,00:04:13.654,00:04:14.786,>> summer: ugh! grandpa! >> rick: birdperson! >> i am pleased there is no,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
167,00:04:14.788,00:04:15.420,>> rick: birdperson! >> i am pleased there is no emergency.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
168,00:04:15.422,00:04:16.421,">> i am pleased there is no emergency. >> rick: oh, there's an",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
169,00:04:16.423,00:04:17.122,"emergency. >> rick: oh, there's an emergency, all right.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
170,00:04:17.124,00:04:18.423,">> rick: oh, there's an emergency, all right. a [bleep] emergency!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
171,00:04:18.425,00:04:19.791,"emergency, all right. a [bleep] emergency! when's the last time you got",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
172,00:04:19.793,00:04:20.592,"a [bleep] emergency! when's the last time you got laid, 'pers?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
173,00:04:20.594,00:04:22.461,"when's the last time you got laid, 'pers? >> it has been a...challenging",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
174,00:04:22.463,00:04:24.029,"laid, 'pers? >> it has been a...challenging mating season for birdperson.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
175,00:04:24.031,00:04:25.130,>> it has been a...challenging mating season for birdperson. >> rick: then it's time to get,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
176,00:04:25.132,00:04:26.465,"mating season for birdperson. >> rick: then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, playah.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
177,00:04:26.467,00:04:27.466,">> rick: then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, playah. go have some fun out there",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
178,00:04:27.468,00:04:28.600,"your beak wet tonight, playah. go have some fun out there birdp-- bird-- birdperson.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
179,00:04:28.602,00:04:29.668,"go have some fun out there birdp-- bird-- birdperson. >> morty: oh, man, how many",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
180,00:04:29.670,00:04:30.836,"birdp-- bird-- birdperson. >> morty: oh, man, how many people did you invite, rick?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
181,00:04:30.838,00:04:31.970,">> morty: oh, man, how many people did you invite, rick? >> rick: uh...people?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
182,00:04:31.972,00:04:35.140,"people did you invite, rick? >> rick: uh...people? mm, six.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
183,00:04:35.142,00:04:36.475,">> rick: uh...people? mm, six. >> rick: yo! what up, my",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
184,00:04:36.477,00:04:37.042,"mm, six. >> rick: yo! what up, my glip glops?!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
185,00:04:37.044,00:04:38.644,">> rick: yo! what up, my glip glops?! >> morty: oh, man!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
186,00:04:38.646,00:04:40.979,"glip glops?! >> morty: oh, man! [ electronic music plays ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
187,00:04:40.981,00:04:42.514,">> morty: oh, man! [ electronic music plays ] [ breathing heavily ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
188,00:04:42.516,00:04:43.515,[ electronic music plays ] [ breathing heavily ] oh!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
189,00:04:43.517,00:04:44.650,"[ breathing heavily ] oh! y-y-you know there's a garbage,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
190,00:04:44.652,00:04:47.953,"oh! y-y-you know there's a garbage, right?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
191,00:04:47.955,00:04:49.688,"y-y-you know there's a garbage, right? hey, uh, what the hell?!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
192,00:04:49.690,00:04:50.856,"right? hey, uh, what the hell?! >> ooh. that's why you never",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
193,00:04:50.858,00:04:51.990,"hey, uh, what the hell?! >> ooh. that's why you never invite a floopy doop and a",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
194,00:04:51.992,00:04:54.726,>> ooh. that's why you never invite a floopy doop and a shmoopy doop to the same party.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
195,00:04:54.728,00:04:57.629,invite a floopy doop and a shmoopy doop to the same party. [ bed springs squeaking ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
196,00:04:57.631,00:04:58.664,"shmoopy doop to the same party. [ bed springs squeaking ] >> morty: oh, oh, g--",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
197,00:04:58.666,00:04:59.731,"[ bed springs squeaking ] >> morty: oh, oh, g-- oh, that's disgusting!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
198,00:04:59.733,00:05:01.166,">> morty: oh, oh, g-- oh, that's disgusting! you guys are in my parents' bed!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
199,00:05:01.168,00:05:02.034,"oh, that's disgusting! you guys are in my parents' bed! >> oh. sorry.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
200,00:05:02.036,00:05:03.502,you guys are in my parents' bed! >> oh. sorry. i'm not feeling too well.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
201,00:05:03.504,00:05:04.836,>> oh. sorry. i'm not feeling too well. i just needed to lie down for a,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
202,00:05:04.838,00:05:05.470,i'm not feeling too well. i just needed to lie down for a bit.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
203,00:05:05.472,00:05:06.505,i just needed to lie down for a bit. >> morty: oh. okay.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
204,00:05:06.507,00:05:07.706,bit. >> morty: oh. okay. s-s-sorry. [ chuckles ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
205,00:05:07.708,00:05:09.141,>> morty: oh. okay. s-s-sorry. [ chuckles ] >> [ groans ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
206,00:05:09.143,00:05:10.175,"s-s-sorry. [ chuckles ] >> [ groans ] >> morty: oh, my god!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
207,00:05:10.177,00:05:11.410,">> [ groans ] >> morty: oh, my god! are you kidding me?!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
208,00:05:11.412,00:05:12.978,">> morty: oh, my god! are you kidding me?! >> the thing people don't",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
209,00:05:12.980,00:05:14.913,are you kidding me?! >> the thing people don't realize about the gear wars is,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
210,00:05:14.915,00:05:16.882,>> the thing people don't realize about the gear wars is that it was never really about,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
211,00:05:16.884,00:05:18.483,realize about the gear wars is that it was never really about the gears at all.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
212,00:05:18.485,00:05:19.184,that it was never really about the gears at all. >> rick: uh-huh. yeah.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
213,00:05:19.186,00:05:20.052,"the gears at all. >> rick: uh-huh. yeah. no, no, to-totally.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
214,00:05:20.054,00:05:21.086,">> rick: uh-huh. yeah. no, no, to-totally. >> morty: rick, you got to",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
215,00:05:21.088,00:05:21.653,"no, no, to-totally. >> morty: rick, you got to stop --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
216,00:05:21.655,00:05:22.187,">> morty: rick, you got to stop -- >> rick: morty!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
217,00:05:22.189,00:05:23.188,stop -- >> rick: morty! have you met gearhead?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
218,00:05:23.190,00:05:24.022,">> rick: morty! have you met gearhead? >> morty: hey, how's --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
219,00:05:24.024,00:05:25.023,"have you met gearhead? >> morty: hey, how's -- >> rick: morty here, he -- he",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
220,00:05:25.025,00:05:26.024,">> morty: hey, how's -- >> rick: morty here, he -- he would love to hear all about the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
221,00:05:26.026,00:05:26.692,">> rick: morty here, he -- he would love to hear all about the gear wars.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
222,00:05:26.694,00:05:28.593,would love to hear all about the gear wars. >> how familiar are you with the,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
223,00:05:28.595,00:05:29.761,"gear wars. >> how familiar are you with the gear wars, exactly?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
224,00:05:29.763,00:05:31.863,">> how familiar are you with the gear wars, exactly? >> morty: uh...not at all.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
225,00:05:31.865,00:05:32.864,"gear wars, exactly? >> morty: uh...not at all. >> oh, boy.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
226,00:05:32.866,00:05:33.732,">> morty: uh...not at all. >> oh, boy. i envy you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
227,00:05:33.734,00:05:36.568,">> oh, boy. i envy you. okay, it was about 754 years",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
228,00:05:36.570,00:05:37.836,"i envy you. okay, it was about 754 years ago...",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
229,00:05:37.838,00:05:47.446,">> rick: oh, hey, morty! h-have you -- have you met my buddy scropon?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
230,00:05:47.448,00:05:48.447,"h-have you -- have you met my buddy scropon? >> morty: not again, rick.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
231,00:05:48.449,00:05:49.581,"buddy scropon? >> morty: not again, rick. that last guy droned on for",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
232,00:05:49.583,00:05:50.549,">> morty: not again, rick. that last guy droned on for 20 minutes, you know?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
233,00:05:50.551,00:05:51.750,"that last guy droned on for 20 minutes, you know? and meanwhile, the whole house",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
234,00:05:51.752,00:05:52.617,"20 minutes, you know? and meanwhile, the whole house is being destroyed!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
235,00:05:52.619,00:05:53.852,"and meanwhile, the whole house is being destroyed! >> rick: whoa, morty, this guy's",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
236,00:05:53.854,00:05:54.920,"is being destroyed! >> rick: whoa, morty, this guy's entire planet was destroyed.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
237,00:05:54.922,00:05:56.021,">> rick: whoa, morty, this guy's entire planet was destroyed. have a little perspective.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
238,00:05:56.023,00:05:57.756,"entire planet was destroyed. have a little perspective. >> hey, rick, squanchy party,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
239,00:05:57.758,00:05:58.123,"have a little perspective. >> hey, rick, squanchy party, bro!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
240,00:05:58.125,00:05:59.591,">> hey, rick, squanchy party, bro! >> rick: aw! squanchy!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
241,00:05:59.593,00:06:00.859,bro! >> rick: aw! squanchy! >> is there a good place for me,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
242,00:06:00.861,00:06:01.860,>> rick: aw! squanchy! >> is there a good place for me to   squancaround here?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
243,00:06:01.862,00:06:02.894,">> is there a good place for me to   squancaround here? >> rick: squanchy, you can",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
244,00:06:02.896,00:06:04.129,"to   squancaround here? >> rick: squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want, man.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
245,00:06:04.131,00:06:06.198,">> rick: squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want, man. mi casa es su casa, dawg!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
246,00:06:06.200,00:06:07.566,"squanch wherever you want, man. mi casa es su casa, dawg! >> all right!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
247,00:06:07.568,00:06:08.700,"mi casa es su casa, dawg! >> all right! i like your squanch!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
248,00:06:08.702,00:06:10.469,">> all right! i like your squanch! >> morty: uh, rick, what exactly",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
249,00:06:10.471,00:06:11.470,"i like your squanch! >> morty: uh, rick, what exactly is ""squanching""?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
250,00:06:11.472,00:06:12.771,">> morty: uh, rick, what exactly is ""squanching""? >> rick: morty, listen -- we've",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
251,00:06:12.773,00:06:13.872,"is ""squanching""? >> rick: morty, listen -- we've had a lot of really cool",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
252,00:06:13.874,00:06:15.107,">> rick: morty, listen -- we've had a lot of really cool adventures over the last year,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
253,00:06:15.109,00:06:16.608,"had a lot of really cool adventures over the last year, but it's time to relax.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
254,00:06:16.610,00:06:17.709,"adventures over the last year, but it's time to relax. >> morty: yeah, if i relax now,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
255,00:06:17.711,00:06:18.777,"but it's time to relax. >> morty: yeah, if i relax now, there might not even be any more",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
256,00:06:18.779,00:06:19.211,">> morty: yeah, if i relax now, there might not even be any more adventures!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
257,00:06:19.213,00:06:20.479,"there might not even be any more adventures! >> rick: jesus, morty, you're",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
258,00:06:20.481,00:06:21.046,"adventures! >> rick: jesus, morty, you're bumming me out.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
259,00:06:21.048,00:06:22.247,">> rick: jesus, morty, you're bumming me out. can't we just pretend like",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
260,00:06:22.249,00:06:23.615,bumming me out. can't we just pretend like everything's fine for a few,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
261,00:06:23.617,00:06:25.050,"can't we just pretend like everything's fine for a few hours, enjoy ourselves, and then",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
262,00:06:25.052,00:06:26.084,"everything's fine for a few hours, enjoy ourselves, and then worry about all this later?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
263,00:06:26.086,00:06:27.152,"hours, enjoy ourselves, and then worry about all this later? >> morty: yeah, that's easy for",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
264,00:06:27.154,00:06:27.986,"worry about all this later? >> morty: yeah, that's easy for you to say, rick.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
265,00:06:27.988,00:06:29.254,">> morty: yeah, that's easy for you to say, rick. you know, you like not caring",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
266,00:06:29.256,00:06:29.988,"you to say, rick. you know, you like not caring about stuff.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
267,00:06:29.990,00:06:31.256,"you know, you like not caring about stuff. you know, wh-wh-what's in this",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
268,00:06:31.258,00:06:33.625,"about stuff. you know, wh-wh-what's in this for me?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
269,00:06:33.627,00:06:36.261,"you know, wh-wh-what's in this for me? [ soft music plays ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
270,00:06:36.263,00:06:39.664,for me? [ soft music plays ] [ indistinct conversations ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
271,00:06:39.666,00:06:41.933,[ soft music plays ] [ indistinct conversations ] jessica.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
272,00:06:41.935,00:06:43.101,"[ indistinct conversations ] jessica. >> rick: knock it off,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
273,00:06:43.103,00:06:43.735,"jessica. >> rick: knock it off, slow mobius!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
274,00:06:43.737,00:06:45.570,">> rick: knock it off, slow mobius! >> ha ha! sorry, dude!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
275,00:06:45.572,00:06:47.672,"slow mobius! >> ha ha! sorry, dude! i'm just trying to show off my",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
276,00:06:47.674,00:06:49.975,">> ha ha! sorry, dude! i'm just trying to show off my powers, bro!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
277,00:06:49.977,00:06:51.009,"i'm just trying to show off my powers, bro! >> morty: i can't believe she's",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
278,00:06:51.011,00:06:51.643,"powers, bro! >> morty: i can't believe she's here.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
279,00:06:51.645,00:06:52.644,">> morty: i can't believe she's here. >> rick: well, what are you",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
280,00:06:52.646,00:06:53.678,"here. >> rick: well, what are you doing standing here, morty?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
281,00:06:53.680,00:06:54.679,">> rick: well, what are you doing standing here, morty? go. talk to her.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
282,00:06:54.681,00:06:55.947,"doing standing here, morty? go. talk to her. tonight, the only adventure",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
283,00:06:55.949,00:06:57.115,"go. talk to her. tonight, the only adventure you're on is your cusping",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
284,00:06:57.117,00:06:58.183,"tonight, the only adventure you're on is your cusping manhood.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
285,00:06:58.185,00:07:00.652,you're on is your cusping manhood. [ both laugh ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
286,00:07:00.654,00:07:02.788,"manhood. [ both laugh ] >> jerry: oh, rose.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
287,00:07:02.790,00:07:06.591,"[ both laugh ] >> jerry: oh, rose. whee!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
288,00:07:06.593,00:07:07.793,">> jerry: oh, rose. whee! is that what i think it is?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
289,00:07:07.795,00:07:09.094,"whee! is that what i think it is? >> yes, every couple gets to",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
290,00:07:09.096,00:07:10.662,"is that what i think it is? >> yes, every couple gets to re-create jack's drowning at the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
291,00:07:10.664,00:07:11.797,">> yes, every couple gets to re-create jack's drowning at the end of the movie.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
292,00:07:11.799,00:07:12.831,re-create jack's drowning at the end of the movie. it's so romantic.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
293,00:07:12.833,00:07:13.999,end of the movie. it's so romantic. >> jerry: i can't wait to do,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
294,00:07:14.001,00:07:14.800,it's so romantic. >> jerry: i can't wait to do that with beth.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
295,00:07:14.802,00:07:15.801,">> jerry: i can't wait to do that with beth. >> i don't know, jerry.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
296,00:07:15.803,00:07:17.135,"that with beth. >> i don't know, jerry. with all due respect, it seems",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
297,00:07:17.137,00:07:18.637,">> i don't know, jerry. with all due respect, it seems like your wife may not be that",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
298,00:07:18.639,00:07:19.171,"with all due respect, it seems like your wife may not be that interested.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
299,00:07:19.173,00:07:20.305,like your wife may not be that interested. >> jerry: [ gasps ] look!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
300,00:07:20.307,00:07:21.807,"interested. >> jerry: [ gasps ] look! >> iceberg, right ahead!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
301,00:07:21.809,00:07:22.841,">> jerry: [ gasps ] look! >> iceberg, right ahead! the buffet is now closed.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
302,00:07:22.843,00:07:24.176,">> iceberg, right ahead! the buffet is now closed. iceberg, right ahead!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
303,00:07:24.178,00:07:25.877,"the buffet is now closed. iceberg, right ahead! the buffet is now closed.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
304,00:07:25.879,00:07:27.045,"iceberg, right ahead! the buffet is now closed. >> uh, sir?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
305,00:07:27.047,00:07:28.613,"the buffet is now closed. >> uh, sir? there's not a problem.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
306,00:07:28.615,00:07:30.282,">> uh, sir? there's not a problem. >> what do you mean there's not",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
307,00:07:30.284,00:07:31.116,there's not a problem. >> what do you mean there's not a problem?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
308,00:07:31.118,00:07:32.651,>> what do you mean there's not a problem? >> the guidance system isn't,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
309,00:07:32.653,00:07:34.119,a problem? >> the guidance system isn't putting us on a direct collision,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
310,00:07:34.121,00:07:34.686,>> the guidance system isn't putting us on a direct collision course.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
311,00:07:34.688,00:07:36.154,putting us on a direct collision course. this ship is about to completely,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
312,00:07:36.156,00:07:37.956,course. this ship is about to completely miss the giant iceberg!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
313,00:07:37.958,00:07:39.157,"this ship is about to completely miss the giant iceberg! >> well, do something!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
314,00:07:39.159,00:07:39.958,"miss the giant iceberg! >> well, do something! steer into it!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
315,00:07:39.960,00:07:44.229,">> well, do something! steer into it! >> i'm trying!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
316,00:07:44.231,00:07:45.997,steer into it! >> i'm trying! >> it's too late.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
317,00:07:45.999,00:07:47.165,>> i'm trying! >> it's too late. ladies and gentlemen...,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
318,00:07:47.167,00:07:48.333,>> it's too late. ladies and gentlemen... don't brace yourselves.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
319,00:07:48.335,00:07:49.234,ladies and gentlemen... don't brace yourselves. [ all gasping ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
320,00:07:49.236,00:07:50.335,don't brace yourselves. [ all gasping ] >> jerry: no! no!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
321,00:07:50.337,00:07:51.336,[ all gasping ] >> jerry: no! no! what happened?!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
322,00:07:51.338,00:07:52.838,>> jerry: no! no! what happened?! >> their rail system must have,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
323,00:07:52.840,00:07:53.672,what happened?! >> their rail system must have failed.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
324,00:07:53.674,00:07:54.339,">> their rail system must have failed. >> oh, my god!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
325,00:07:54.341,00:07:56.808,"failed. >> oh, my god! we're not gonna sink!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
326,00:07:56.810,00:07:57.809,">> oh, my god! we're not gonna sink! >> totally gonna get laid",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
327,00:07:57.811,00:07:59.744,we're not gonna sink! >> totally gonna get laid tonight.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
328,00:07:59.746,00:08:00.912,>> totally gonna get laid tonight. >> i like your feathers.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
329,00:08:00.914,00:08:02.347,tonight. >> i like your feathers. >> they are designed to attract,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
330,00:08:02.349,00:08:03.815,>> i like your feathers. >> they are designed to attract the attention of the female.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
331,00:08:03.817,00:08:04.683,>> they are designed to attract the attention of the female. >> it's working.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
332,00:08:04.685,00:08:06.084,"the attention of the female. >> it's working. >> tammy, i should let you know",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
333,00:08:06.086,00:08:07.352,">> it's working. >> tammy, i should let you know i just got out of a highly",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
334,00:08:07.354,00:08:09.054,">> tammy, i should let you know i just got out of a highly intense soul bond with my",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
335,00:08:09.056,00:08:10.655,i just got out of a highly intense soul bond with my previous spirit mate.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
336,00:08:10.657,00:08:12.691,intense soul bond with my previous spirit mate. >> i'm not looking to get into a,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
337,00:08:12.693,00:08:13.358,previous spirit mate. >> i'm not looking to get into a soul bond.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
338,00:08:13.360,00:08:15.894,>> i'm not looking to get into a soul bond. i'm just looking for...,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
339,00:08:15.896,00:08:17.195,soul bond. i'm just looking for... >> i believe birdperson can,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
340,00:08:17.197,00:08:18.029,i'm just looking for... >> i believe birdperson can arrange that.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
341,00:08:18.031,00:08:19.698,">> i believe birdperson can arrange that. >> hey, summer, haven't seen you",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
342,00:08:19.700,00:08:21.032,"arrange that. >> hey, summer, haven't seen you at flute practice in a while.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
343,00:08:21.034,00:08:22.667,">> hey, summer, haven't seen you at flute practice in a while. >> summer, don't tell me you're",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
344,00:08:22.669,00:08:23.268,"at flute practice in a while. >> summer, don't tell me you're friends with her.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
345,00:08:23.270,00:08:24.703,">> summer, don't tell me you're friends with her. >> summer: are you kidding me?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
346,00:08:24.705,00:08:25.871,friends with her. >> summer: are you kidding me? i don't even know what she's,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
347,00:08:25.873,00:08:26.338,>> summer: are you kidding me? i don't even know what she's doing here.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
348,00:08:26.340,00:08:27.772,"i don't even know what she's doing here. >> rick: whoa. not cool, summer.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
349,00:08:27.774,00:08:28.373,"doing here. >> rick: whoa. not cool, summer. this is a party.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
350,00:08:28.375,00:08:29.741,">> rick: whoa. not cool, summer. this is a party. everybody should be welcome.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
351,00:08:29.743,00:08:32.244,this is a party. everybody should be welcome. [ crashes ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
352,00:08:32.246,00:08:32.944,"everybody should be welcome. [ crashes ] oh, great.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
353,00:08:32.946,00:08:34.379,"[ crashes ] oh, great. who invited abradolph lincoler?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
354,00:08:34.381,00:08:35.881,"oh, great. who invited abradolph lincoler? >> summer: i thought everyone",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
355,00:08:35.883,00:08:36.681,who invited abradolph lincoler? >> summer: i thought everyone was welcome.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
356,00:08:36.683,00:08:37.916,">> summer: i thought everyone was welcome. >> rick: it's not the same,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
357,00:08:37.918,00:08:38.350,"was welcome. >> rick: it's not the same, summer.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
358,00:08:38.352,00:08:39.885,">> rick: it's not the same, summer. lincoler is a crazed maniac --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
359,00:08:39.887,00:08:41.286,summer. lincoler is a crazed maniac -- just a misguided effort of mine,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
360,00:08:41.288,00:08:42.754,lincoler is a crazed maniac -- just a misguided effort of mine to create a morally neutral,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
361,00:08:42.756,00:08:44.089,just a misguided effort of mine to create a morally neutral superleader by combining the,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
362,00:08:44.091,00:08:45.223,to create a morally neutral superleader by combining the dna of adolf hitler and,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
363,00:08:45.225,00:08:46.124,superleader by combining the dna of adolf hitler and abraham lincoln.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
364,00:08:46.126,00:08:47.759,dna of adolf hitler and abraham lincoln. turns out it [burps] just adds,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
365,00:08:47.761,00:08:50.195,"abraham lincoln. turns out it [burps] just adds up to a lame, weird loser.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
366,00:08:50.197,00:08:52.063,"turns out it [burps] just adds up to a lame, weird loser. >> rick, you brought me into",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
367,00:08:52.065,00:08:53.732,"up to a lame, weird loser. >> rick, you brought me into this world, a suffering",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
368,00:08:53.734,00:08:55.367,">> rick, you brought me into this world, a suffering abomination tortured by the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
369,00:08:55.369,00:08:57.302,"this world, a suffering abomination tortured by the duality of its being.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
370,00:08:57.304,00:08:58.904,abomination tortured by the duality of its being. but i shall finally know peace,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
371,00:08:58.906,00:09:00.405,duality of its being. but i shall finally know peace when i watch the life drain from,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
372,00:09:00.407,00:09:01.406,but i shall finally know peace when i watch the life drain from your wretched body!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
373,00:09:01.408,00:09:02.807,"when i watch the life drain from your wretched body! >> whoa. what's up, man?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
374,00:09:02.809,00:09:04.242,"your wretched body! >> whoa. what's up, man? >> i have no quarrel with you,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
375,00:09:04.244,00:09:04.743,">> whoa. what's up, man? >> i have no quarrel with you, boy.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
376,00:09:04.745,00:09:05.243,">> i have no quarrel with you, boy. >> ""boy""?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
377,00:09:05.245,00:09:06.778,"boy. >> ""boy""? what's that supposed to mean?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
378,00:09:06.780,00:09:08.079,">> ""boy""? what's that supposed to mean? >> it's just -- l-look, i-i",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
379,00:09:08.081,00:09:09.414,"what's that supposed to mean? >> it's just -- l-look, i-i don't know how you thought i",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
380,00:09:09.416,00:09:10.916,">> it's just -- l-look, i-i don't know how you thought i meant it, but...",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
381,00:09:10.918,00:09:12.250,"don't know how you thought i meant it, but... >> rick: don't look at me, dude.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
382,00:09:12.252,00:09:12.951,"meant it, but... >> rick: don't look at me, dude. >> look, i'm",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
383,00:09:12.953,00:09:15.053,">> rick: don't look at me, dude. >> look, i'm half-abraham lincoln, so --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
384,00:09:15.055,00:09:16.421,">> look, i'm half-abraham lincoln, so -- >> so i should get on my knees",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
385,00:09:16.423,00:09:17.656,"half-abraham lincoln, so -- >> so i should get on my knees and kiss your ass?!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
386,00:09:17.658,00:09:19.824,">> so i should get on my knees and kiss your ass?! >> well, no, but...",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
387,00:09:19.826,00:09:20.258,"and kiss your ass?! >> well, no, but... you know?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
388,00:09:20.260,00:09:21.159,">> well, no, but... you know? >> what do i know?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
389,00:09:21.161,00:09:22.661,you know? >> what do i know? that the third reich will reign,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
390,00:09:22.663,00:09:23.662,>> what do i know? that the third reich will reign for a thousand years?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
391,00:09:23.664,00:09:24.796,"that the third reich will reign for a thousand years? >> leave him alone, brad.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
392,00:09:24.798,00:09:26.097,"for a thousand years? >> leave him alone, brad. >> stay out of this, jessica!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
393,00:09:26.099,00:09:27.265,">> leave him alone, brad. >> stay out of this, jessica! >> rick: kick his ass, brad!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
394,00:09:27.267,00:09:28.333,">> stay out of this, jessica! >> rick: kick his ass, brad! kick his ass!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
395,00:09:28.335,00:09:29.768,">> rick: kick his ass, brad! kick his ass! >> all: kick his ass!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
396,00:09:29.770,00:09:31.136,kick his ass! >> all: kick his ass! kick his ass!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
397,00:09:31.138,00:09:32.103,>> all: kick his ass! kick his ass! >> brad!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
398,00:09:32.105,00:09:35.006,kick his ass! >> brad! >> stupid! [ grunts ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
399,00:09:35.008,00:09:35.774,>> brad! >> stupid! [ grunts ] >> morty: rick!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
400,00:09:35.776,00:09:36.975,">> stupid! [ grunts ] >> morty: rick! >> rick: i just did you a favor,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
401,00:09:36.977,00:09:40.011,">> morty: rick! >> rick: i just did you a favor, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
402,00:09:40.013,00:09:41.279,">> rick: i just did you a favor, morty. >> morty: sorry about all that.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
403,00:09:41.281,00:09:42.447,morty. >> morty: sorry about all that. rick has some really strange,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
404,00:09:42.449,00:09:43.114,>> morty: sorry about all that. rick has some really strange friends.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
405,00:09:43.116,00:09:44.749,rick has some really strange friends. >> ugh! brad is such a jerk.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
406,00:09:44.751,00:09:46.284,friends. >> ugh! brad is such a jerk. he's always trying to prove what,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
407,00:09:46.286,00:09:47.118,>> ugh! brad is such a jerk. he's always trying to prove what a man he is.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
408,00:09:47.120,00:09:48.687,he's always trying to prove what a man he is. i just want to find somebody,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
409,00:09:48.689,00:09:50.455,a man he is. i just want to find somebody nice and sweet.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
410,00:09:50.457,00:09:52.791,"i just want to find somebody nice and sweet. >> morty: jessica, can i show",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
411,00:09:52.793,00:09:54.793,"nice and sweet. >> morty: jessica, can i show you something?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
412,00:09:54.795,00:09:57.462,">> morty: jessica, can i show you something? >> wow! look at all this stuff.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
413,00:09:57.464,00:09:58.296,you something? >> wow! look at all this stuff. >> morty: yeah.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
414,00:09:58.298,00:09:59.831,>> wow! look at all this stuff. >> morty: yeah. this is me and my grandpa rick's,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
415,00:09:59.833,00:10:00.699,>> morty: yeah. this is me and my grandpa rick's sci-fi workshop.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
416,00:10:00.701,00:10:02.300,this is me and my grandpa rick's sci-fi workshop. check this out.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
417,00:10:02.302,00:10:04.135,sci-fi workshop. check this out. [ projector beeping ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
418,00:10:04.137,00:10:05.170,check this out. [ projector beeping ] >> it's beautiful.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
419,00:10:05.172,00:10:06.805,"[ projector beeping ] >> it's beautiful. >> morty: you know, jessica,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
420,00:10:06.807,00:10:08.206,">> it's beautiful. >> morty: you know, jessica, there's something i've always",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
421,00:10:08.208,00:10:09.307,">> morty: you know, jessica, there's something i've always wanted to tell you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
422,00:10:09.309,00:10:10.475,"there's something i've always wanted to tell you. >> what's that, morty?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
423,00:10:10.477,00:10:12.010,"wanted to tell you. >> what's that, morty? >> i think that you're the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
424,00:10:12.012,00:10:12.477,">> what's that, morty? >> i think that you're the most --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
425,00:10:12.479,00:10:13.979,">> i think that you're the most -- >> no, that -- those weird",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
426,00:10:13.981,00:10:15.447,"most -- >> no, that -- those weird sounds coming from the closet",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
427,00:10:15.449,00:10:17.349,">> no, that -- those weird sounds coming from the closet over there.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
428,00:10:17.351,00:10:21.786,sounds coming from the closet over there. [ closet rattling ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
429,00:10:21.788,00:10:22.787,"over there. [ closet rattling ] >> morty: oh, my god!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
430,00:10:22.789,00:10:23.154,"[ closet rattling ] >> morty: oh, my god! >> aah!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
431,00:10:23.156,00:10:24.489,">> morty: oh, my god! >> aah! >> hey, i'm squanching in here!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
432,00:10:24.491,00:10:25.490,">> aah! >> hey, i'm squanching in here! >> morty: oh, my god!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
433,00:10:25.492,00:10:26.825,">> hey, i'm squanching in here! >> morty: oh, my god! oh, that is so disgusting!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
434,00:10:26.827,00:10:28.793,">> morty: oh, my god! oh, that is so disgusting! ow! oh! oh, crap!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
435,00:10:28.795,00:10:31.029,"oh, that is so disgusting! ow! oh! oh, crap! [ device warbling ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
436,00:10:31.031,00:10:42.073,[ warbling ] [ all screaming ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
437,00:10:42.075,00:10:50.849,>> rick: huh. big star in the sky. [ inhales sharply ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
438,00:10:50.851,00:10:52.217,big star in the sky. [ inhales sharply ] oxygen-rich atmosphere.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
439,00:10:52.219,00:10:53.885,[ inhales sharply ] oxygen-rich atmosphere. giant testicle monsters.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
440,00:10:53.887,00:10:55.487,oxygen-rich atmosphere. giant testicle monsters. we'll be fine! let's party!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
441,00:10:55.489,00:10:57.355,giant testicle monsters. we'll be fine! let's party! [ all cheering ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
442,00:10:57.357,00:11:07.232,">> ♪ just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪ ♪ just shake that ass...",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
443,00:11:07.234,00:11:12.037,">> summer: i swear to god, morty, if it weren't for the fact that everyone's still",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
444,00:11:12.039,00:11:13.538,"morty, if it weren't for the fact that everyone's still having a blast in there, i would",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
445,00:11:13.540,00:11:14.673,"fact that everyone's still having a blast in there, i would be so furious with you right",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
446,00:11:14.675,00:11:15.006,"having a blast in there, i would be so furious with you right now.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
447,00:11:15.008,00:11:15.774,"be so furious with you right now. >> rick: oh, man.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
448,00:11:15.776,00:11:16.875,"now. >> rick: oh, man. y-you hear that, morty?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
449,00:11:16.877,00:11:17.909,">> rick: oh, man. y-you hear that, morty? you really lucked out with",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
450,00:11:17.911,00:11:18.843,"y-you hear that, morty? you really lucked out with summer o-on that one.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
451,00:11:18.845,00:11:19.944,you really lucked out with summer o-on that one. >> morty: how are you guys not,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
452,00:11:19.946,00:11:20.945,summer o-on that one. >> morty: how are you guys not freaking out right now?!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
453,00:11:20.947,00:11:22.547,>> morty: how are you guys not freaking out right now?! t-the whole house is sitting in,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
454,00:11:22.549,00:11:23.548,freaking out right now?! t-the whole house is sitting in another dimension!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
455,00:11:23.550,00:11:24.916,"t-the whole house is sitting in another dimension! i-i mean, w-what the hell are we",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
456,00:11:24.918,00:11:25.850,"another dimension! i-i mean, w-what the hell are we supposed to do?!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
457,00:11:25.852,00:11:27.218,"i-i mean, w-what the hell are we supposed to do?! m-m-mom and dad are gonna kill",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
458,00:11:27.220,00:11:27.719,supposed to do?! m-m-mom and dad are gonna kill us!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
459,00:11:27.721,00:11:28.720,"m-m-mom and dad are gonna kill us! i'm losing it here, rick!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
460,00:11:28.722,00:11:30.555,"us! i'm losing it here, rick! >> rick: relax, morty, relax!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
461,00:11:30.557,00:11:31.723,"i'm losing it here, rick! >> rick: relax, morty, relax! it's gonna be fine.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
462,00:11:31.725,00:11:33.625,">> rick: relax, morty, relax! it's gonna be fine. all we have to do is go out and",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
463,00:11:33.627,00:11:35.560,it's gonna be fine. all we have to do is go out and find us some kalaxian crystals.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
464,00:11:35.562,00:11:36.728,all we have to do is go out and find us some kalaxian crystals. [ detector beeping ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
465,00:11:36.730,00:11:38.063,"find us some kalaxian crystals. [ detector beeping ] oh, shit, mother[bleep]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
466,00:11:38.065,00:11:39.564,"[ detector beeping ] oh, shit, mother[bleep] kalaxian crystals, morty, just a",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
467,00:11:39.566,00:11:40.632,"oh, shit, mother[bleep] kalaxian crystals, morty, just a few miles south of here.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
468,00:11:40.634,00:11:41.900,"kalaxian crystals, morty, just a few miles south of here. >> morty: okay. let's go, then.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
469,00:11:41.902,00:11:43.068,"few miles south of here. >> morty: okay. let's go, then. w-w-we got to go get those",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
470,00:11:43.070,00:11:44.102,">> morty: okay. let's go, then. w-w-we got to go get those crystals right now, rick.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
471,00:11:44.104,00:11:45.236,"w-w-we got to go get those crystals right now, rick. >> rick: whoa, whoa, whoa.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
472,00:11:45.238,00:11:46.738,"crystals right now, rick. >> rick: whoa, whoa, whoa. morty, morty, i-i can't go with",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
473,00:11:46.740,00:11:46.971,">> rick: whoa, whoa, whoa. morty, morty, i-i can't go with you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
474,00:11:46.973,00:11:48.473,"morty, morty, i-i can't go with you. i got to hang back and make sure",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
475,00:11:48.475,00:11:49.741,"you. i got to hang back and make sure everything stays cool here, you",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
476,00:11:49.743,00:11:50.075,"i got to hang back and make sure everything stays cool here, you know?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
477,00:11:50.077,00:11:52.243,"everything stays cool here, you know? i mean, who knows what -- what",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
478,00:11:52.245,00:11:53.578,"know? i mean, who knows what -- what if somebody breaks something?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
479,00:11:53.580,00:11:54.646,"i mean, who knows what -- what if somebody breaks something? >> summer: yeah. me too.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
480,00:11:54.648,00:11:55.213,if somebody breaks something? >> summer: yeah. me too. i should stay.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
481,00:11:55.215,00:11:56.581,>> summer: yeah. me too. i should stay. >> you guys have any aspirin?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
482,00:11:56.583,00:11:57.882,"i should stay. >> you guys have any aspirin? >> rick: oh, hey, morty, this is",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
483,00:11:57.884,00:11:58.249,">> you guys have any aspirin? >> rick: oh, hey, morty, this is perfect!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
484,00:11:58.251,00:11:59.651,">> rick: oh, hey, morty, this is perfect! you can take lincoler with you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
485,00:11:59.653,00:12:00.752,"perfect! you can take lincoler with you. >> hey, man, i'm not going",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
486,00:12:00.754,00:12:01.252,"you can take lincoler with you. >> hey, man, i'm not going anywhere.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
487,00:12:01.254,00:12:01.986,">> hey, man, i'm not going anywhere. i'm injured.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
488,00:12:01.988,00:12:03.254,"anywhere. i'm injured. >> rick: shut up, lincoler.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
489,00:12:03.256,00:12:04.923,"i'm injured. >> rick: shut up, lincoler. it's the [burps] least you can",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
490,00:12:04.925,00:12:06.558,">> rick: shut up, lincoler. it's the [burps] least you can do for wrecking the living room.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
491,00:12:06.560,00:12:07.258,it's the [burps] least you can do for wrecking the living room. >> summer: yeah!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
492,00:12:07.260,00:12:08.827,"do for wrecking the living room. >> summer: yeah! and, nancy, you should go, too.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
493,00:12:08.829,00:12:10.595,">> summer: yeah! and, nancy, you should go, too. >> what? why -- why me?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
494,00:12:10.597,00:12:12.097,"and, nancy, you should go, too. >> what? why -- why me? >> summer: because, uh,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
495,00:12:12.099,00:12:14.065,">> what? why -- why me? >> summer: because, uh, you're -- you're so good at",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
496,00:12:14.067,00:12:17.936,">> summer: because, uh, you're -- you're so good at playing the flute.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
497,00:12:17.938,00:12:19.504,"you're -- you're so good at playing the flute. >> sorry for the inconvenience,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
498,00:12:19.506,00:12:19.904,"playing the flute. >> sorry for the inconvenience, folks.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
499,00:12:19.906,00:12:21.072,">> sorry for the inconvenience, folks. we should resume sinking",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
500,00:12:21.074,00:12:21.673,folks. we should resume sinking shortly.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
501,00:12:21.675,00:12:23.108,"we should resume sinking shortly. in the meantime, please, stay on",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
502,00:12:23.110,00:12:24.142,"shortly. in the meantime, please, stay on the ship and enjoy a",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
503,00:12:24.144,00:12:25.276,"in the meantime, please, stay on the ship and enjoy a complimentary plate of",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
504,00:12:25.278,00:12:26.611,the ship and enjoy a complimentary plate of james cameronion rings.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
505,00:12:26.613,00:12:27.278,complimentary plate of james cameronion rings. >> jerry: great.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
506,00:12:27.280,00:12:28.646,james cameronion rings. >> jerry: great. not only is the ship not,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
507,00:12:28.648,00:12:30.115,">> jerry: great. not only is the ship not sinking, but now the fourth wall",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
508,00:12:30.117,00:12:30.982,"not only is the ship not sinking, but now the fourth wall has been broken.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
509,00:12:30.984,00:12:31.950,"sinking, but now the fourth wall has been broken. >> beth: [ sighs ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
510,00:12:31.952,00:12:33.518,has been broken. >> beth: [ sighs ] i am gonna go back to the room,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
511,00:12:33.520,00:12:34.285,>> beth: [ sighs ] i am gonna go back to the room to finish my book.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
512,00:12:34.287,00:12:35.954,i am gonna go back to the room to finish my book. you should find that lucy woman.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
513,00:12:35.956,00:12:37.122,to finish my book. you should find that lucy woman. >> jerry: but -- but --,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
514,00:12:37.124,00:12:38.256,you should find that lucy woman. >> jerry: but -- but -- >> [ clears throat ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
515,00:12:38.258,00:12:39.124,">> jerry: but -- but -- >> [ clears throat ] you see, jerry?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
516,00:12:39.126,00:12:40.625,">> [ clears throat ] you see, jerry? may i show you something?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
517,00:12:40.627,00:12:42.093,"you see, jerry? may i show you something? had everything gone as planned,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
518,00:12:42.095,00:12:43.528,"may i show you something? had everything gone as planned, this entire area would be",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
519,00:12:43.530,00:12:44.129,"had everything gone as planned, this entire area would be underwater.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
520,00:12:44.131,00:12:45.130,this entire area would be underwater. >> jerry: [ sighs ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
521,00:12:45.132,00:12:46.765,underwater. >> jerry: [ sighs ] i would have liked to see it.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
522,00:12:46.767,00:12:48.166,">> jerry: [ sighs ] i would have liked to see it. this trip has been a ""titanic""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
523,00:12:48.168,00:12:49.601,"i would have liked to see it. this trip has been a ""titanic"" failure.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
524,00:12:49.603,00:12:50.668,"this trip has been a ""titanic"" failure. get it?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
525,00:12:50.670,00:12:51.035,failure. get it? ooh!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
526,00:12:51.037,00:12:52.203,"get it? ooh! >> draw me, jerry.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
527,00:12:52.205,00:12:53.605,"ooh! >> draw me, jerry. >> jerry: oh, boy.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
528,00:12:53.607,00:12:54.806,">> draw me, jerry. >> jerry: oh, boy. lucy, wow.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
529,00:12:54.808,00:12:57.542,">> jerry: oh, boy. lucy, wow. uh, this isn't what i had in",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
530,00:12:57.544,00:12:57.876,"lucy, wow. uh, this isn't what i had in mind.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
531,00:12:57.878,00:12:59.277,"uh, this isn't what i had in mind. >> but it's the perfect moment.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
532,00:12:59.279,00:13:00.812,mind. >> but it's the perfect moment. we've been dreaming about this,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
533,00:13:00.814,00:13:01.546,>> but it's the perfect moment. we've been dreaming about this for 16 years.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
534,00:13:01.548,00:13:02.814,"we've been dreaming about this for 16 years. >> jerry: um, not like this.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
535,00:13:02.816,00:13:03.848,"for 16 years. >> jerry: um, not like this. not -- not with you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
536,00:13:03.850,00:13:04.949,">> jerry: um, not like this. not -- not with you. [ chuckles nervously ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
537,00:13:04.951,00:13:05.683,not -- not with you. [ chuckles nervously ] [ gun cocks ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
538,00:13:05.685,00:13:06.885,[ chuckles nervously ] [ gun cocks ] >> you are gonna draw me.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
539,00:13:06.887,00:13:07.685,[ gun cocks ] >> you are gonna draw me. >> jerry: aah!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
540,00:13:07.687,00:13:09.120,>> you are gonna draw me. >> jerry: aah! >> then you're going to [bleep],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
541,00:13:09.122,00:13:11.022,>> jerry: aah! >> then you're going to [bleep] me in that car over there.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
542,00:13:11.024,00:13:12.290,">> then you're going to [bleep] me in that car over there. >> it's weird, 'cause i",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
543,00:13:12.292,00:13:13.892,"me in that car over there. >> it's weird, 'cause i definitely think that all men",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
544,00:13:13.894,00:13:14.959,">> it's weird, 'cause i definitely think that all men are created equal.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
545,00:13:14.961,00:13:16.194,"definitely think that all men are created equal. but, at the same time --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
546,00:13:16.196,00:13:17.162,"are created equal. but, at the same time -- >> morty: okay!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
547,00:13:17.164,00:13:18.663,"but, at the same time -- >> morty: okay! um, the crystals should be",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
548,00:13:18.665,00:13:19.330,">> morty: okay! um, the crystals should be really close.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
549,00:13:19.332,00:13:20.565,"um, the crystals should be really close. >> there they are!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
550,00:13:20.567,00:13:21.833,really close. >> there they are! [ detector beeps ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
551,00:13:21.835,00:13:22.634,>> there they are! [ detector beeps ] >> wait.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
552,00:13:22.636,00:13:24.035,[ detector beeps ] >> wait. something's not right.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
553,00:13:24.037,00:13:25.203,>> wait. something's not right. [ creature growls ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
554,00:13:25.205,00:13:27.071,something's not right. [ creature growls ] >> [ screams ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
555,00:13:27.073,00:13:27.906,[ creature growls ] >> [ screams ] [ creature roars ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
556,00:13:27.908,00:13:28.973,>> [ screams ] [ creature roars ] >> get the crystals!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
557,00:13:28.975,00:13:30.008,[ creature roars ] >> get the crystals! i'll handle the beast!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
558,00:13:30.010,00:13:32.076,>> get the crystals! i'll handle the beast! prepare to be emancipated from,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
559,00:13:32.078,00:13:33.845,i'll handle the beast! prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
560,00:13:33.847,00:13:35.847,prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes! [ grunting ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
561,00:13:35.849,00:13:36.314,your own inferior genes! [ grunting ] >> [ gasps ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
562,00:13:36.316,00:13:37.348,[ grunting ] >> [ gasps ] summer's gonna like me again.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
563,00:13:37.350,00:13:38.149,>> [ gasps ] summer's gonna like me again. [ creature growling ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
564,00:13:38.151,00:13:41.219,summer's gonna like me again. [ creature growling ] >> [ grunts ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
565,00:13:41.221,00:13:43.855,[ creature growling ] >> [ grunts ] [ grunts ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
566,00:13:43.857,00:13:45.056,">> [ grunts ] [ grunts ] >> morty: lincoler, come on!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
567,00:13:45.058,00:13:46.157,"[ grunts ] >> morty: lincoler, come on! let's get out of here!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
568,00:13:46.159,00:13:48.326,">> morty: lincoler, come on! let's get out of here! >> mein journey is over, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
569,00:13:48.328,00:13:50.595,"let's get out of here! >> mein journey is over, morty. [ groaning ] i have something",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
570,00:13:50.597,00:13:53.832,">> mein journey is over, morty. [ groaning ] i have something important to tell you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
571,00:13:53.834,00:13:55.600,"[ groaning ] i have something important to tell you. >> ♪ and the gears, they turned",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
572,00:13:55.602,00:13:57.902,"important to tell you. >> ♪ and the gears, they turned for a thousand years ♪",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
573,00:13:57.904,00:14:00.738,">> ♪ and the gears, they turned for a thousand years ♪ ♪ until the dark day that they",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
574,00:14:00.740,00:14:01.239,for a thousand years ♪ ♪ until the dark day that they stopped ♪,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
575,00:14:01.241,00:14:02.273,♪ until the dark day that they stopped ♪ >> morty: [ gasps ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
576,00:14:02.275,00:14:03.274,"stopped ♪ >> morty: [ gasps ] rick, i got them!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
577,00:14:03.276,00:14:04.342,">> morty: [ gasps ] rick, i got them! i got the crystals!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
578,00:14:04.344,00:14:05.176,"rick, i got them! i got the crystals! >> rick: all right!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
579,00:14:05.178,00:14:06.010,"i got the crystals! >> rick: all right! you did it, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
580,00:14:06.012,00:14:06.878,">> rick: all right! you did it, morty. >> morty: rick, wait!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
581,00:14:06.880,00:14:08.012,"you did it, morty. >> morty: rick, wait! there's something you need to",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
582,00:14:08.014,00:14:08.279,">> morty: rick, wait! there's something you need to know.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
583,00:14:08.281,00:14:09.614,there's something you need to know. i couldn't have done it without,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
584,00:14:09.616,00:14:10.048,know. i couldn't have done it without lincoler.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
585,00:14:10.050,00:14:11.349,i couldn't have done it without lincoler. he said that he was really sorry,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
586,00:14:11.351,00:14:12.717,lincoler. he said that he was really sorry and that he loves you like a,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
587,00:14:12.719,00:14:13.051,he said that he was really sorry and that he loves you like a father.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
588,00:14:13.053,00:14:14.252,and that he loves you like a father. he only wanted you to accept,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
589,00:14:14.254,00:14:15.753,"father. he only wanted you to accept him, and he hopes that his final",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
590,00:14:15.755,00:14:16.921,"he only wanted you to accept him, and he hopes that his final act would redeem him in your",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
591,00:14:16.923,00:14:17.355,"him, and he hopes that his final act would redeem him in your eyes.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
592,00:14:17.357,00:14:19.057,act would redeem him in your eyes. he sacrificed himself to save,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
593,00:14:19.059,00:14:20.058,"eyes. he sacrificed himself to save all of us, rick.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
594,00:14:20.060,00:14:20.725,"he sacrificed himself to save all of us, rick. he died.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
595,00:14:20.727,00:14:22.126,"all of us, rick. he died. >> rick: well, at least he",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
596,00:14:22.128,00:14:23.261,"he died. >> rick: well, at least he didn't die in vain.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
597,00:14:23.263,00:14:26.197,">> rick: well, at least he didn't die in vain. he got these crystals.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
598,00:14:26.199,00:14:26.931,didn't die in vain. he got these crystals. [ sniffs ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
599,00:14:26.933,00:14:28.733,he got these crystals. [ sniffs ] and these babies just saved this,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
600,00:14:28.735,00:14:29.701,[ sniffs ] and these babies just saved this lame-ass party!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
601,00:14:29.703,00:14:30.902,"and these babies just saved this lame-ass party! wubba, lubba, dub, dub!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
602,00:14:30.904,00:14:31.703,"lame-ass party! wubba, lubba, dub, dub! play something.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
603,00:14:31.705,00:14:32.737,"wubba, lubba, dub, dub! play something. s-somebody, play something.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
604,00:14:32.739,00:14:33.771,"play something. s-somebody, play something. [ clicks ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
605,00:14:33.773,00:14:35.073,"s-somebody, play something. [ clicks ] >> morty: wait a minute. what?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
606,00:14:35.075,00:14:38.076,[ clicks ] >> morty: wait a minute. what? [ hip-hop music plays ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
607,00:14:38.078,00:14:39.310,>> morty: wait a minute. what? [ hip-hop music plays ] >> rick: ♪ put your right foot,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
608,00:14:39.312,00:14:40.411,[ hip-hop music plays ] >> rick: ♪ put your right foot forward and your left foot,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
609,00:14:40.413,00:14:40.979,>> rick: ♪ put your right foot forward and your left foot back ♪,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
610,00:14:40.981,00:14:42.413,forward and your left foot back ♪ ♪ then slide around like on a,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
611,00:14:42.415,00:14:43.748,back ♪ ♪ then slide around like on a nordictrack ♪,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
612,00:14:43.750,00:14:44.916,♪ then slide around like on a nordictrack ♪ ♪ move to the left,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
613,00:14:44.918,00:14:46.084,nordictrack ♪ ♪ move to the left ♪ step to the right,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
614,00:14:46.086,00:14:47.719,"♪ move to the left ♪ step to the right ♪ wiggle your elbows, and look",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
615,00:14:47.721,00:14:49.787,"♪ step to the right ♪ wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light ♪",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
616,00:14:49.789,00:14:52.090,"♪ wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light ♪ >> ♪ it's the, it's the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
617,00:14:52.092,00:14:54.726,"up into the light ♪ >> ♪ it's the, it's the ♪ it's the rick dance",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
618,00:14:54.728,00:14:56.661,">> ♪ it's the, it's the ♪ it's the rick dance ♪ it's the, it's the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
619,00:14:56.663,00:14:57.896,"♪ it's the rick dance ♪ it's the, it's the ♪ it's the rick dance",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
620,00:14:57.898,00:14:59.264,"♪ it's the, it's the ♪ it's the rick dance >> rick: slow mobius, hit me",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
621,00:14:59.266,00:15:00.331,"♪ it's the rick dance >> rick: slow mobius, hit me with the clock beam!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
622,00:15:00.333,00:15:05.270,">> rick: slow mobius, hit me with the clock beam! [ warbling ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
623,00:15:05.272,00:15:07.772,"with the clock beam! [ warbling ] >> ♪ it's the, it's the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
624,00:15:07.774,00:15:09.073,"[ warbling ] >> ♪ it's the, it's the ♪ it's the rick dance",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
625,00:15:09.075,00:15:10.808,">> ♪ it's the, it's the ♪ it's the rick dance >> rick: that's the rick dance!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
626,00:15:10.810,00:15:11.409,♪ it's the rick dance >> rick: that's the rick dance! all right!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
627,00:15:11.411,00:15:12.777,">> rick: that's the rick dance! all right! [ burps ] whoa, man!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
628,00:15:12.779,00:15:13.778,"all right! [ burps ] whoa, man! [ all cheering ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
629,00:15:13.780,00:15:16.180,"[ burps ] whoa, man! [ all cheering ] >> morty: what the hell was",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
630,00:15:16.182,00:15:16.681,[ all cheering ] >> morty: what the hell was that?!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
631,00:15:16.683,00:15:17.782,>> morty: what the hell was that?! i thought those crystals were,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
632,00:15:17.784,00:15:18.950,that?! i thought those crystals were supposed to help us get home or,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
633,00:15:18.952,00:15:19.350,i thought those crystals were supposed to help us get home or something!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
634,00:15:19.352,00:15:20.351,"supposed to help us get home or something! >> rick: what? no, no, no.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
635,00:15:20.353,00:15:21.452,"something! >> rick: what? no, no, no. i can get us home whenever i",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
636,00:15:21.454,00:15:21.986,">> rick: what? no, no, no. i can get us home whenever i want to.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
637,00:15:21.988,00:15:23.121,"i can get us home whenever i want to. but, listen, speaking of those",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
638,00:15:23.123,00:15:24.289,"want to. but, listen, speaking of those crystals, can i get the rest of",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
639,00:15:24.291,00:15:24.789,"but, listen, speaking of those crystals, can i get the rest of them?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
640,00:15:24.791,00:15:25.957,"crystals, can i get the rest of them? i'm starting to come down,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
641,00:15:25.959,00:15:26.257,"them? i'm starting to come down, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
642,00:15:26.259,00:15:27.458,"i'm starting to come down, morty. crystal kalaxian is a really",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
643,00:15:27.460,00:15:29.127,"morty. crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
644,00:15:29.129,00:15:29.961,"crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high. [ door slides open ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
645,00:15:29.963,00:15:30.929,"strong, but fleeting high. [ door slides open ] >> morty: [ grunts ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
646,00:15:30.931,00:15:32.130,[ door slides open ] >> morty: [ grunts ] that's what i think of your,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
647,00:15:32.132,00:15:32.931,">> morty: [ grunts ] that's what i think of your crystals, rick!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
648,00:15:32.933,00:15:34.766,"that's what i think of your crystals, rick! >> rick: oh, morty, you idiot!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
649,00:15:34.768,00:15:36.434,"crystals, rick! >> rick: oh, morty, you idiot! does anybody else have any more",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
650,00:15:36.436,00:15:37.101,">> rick: oh, morty, you idiot! does anybody else have any more k-lax?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
651,00:15:37.103,00:15:37.869,does anybody else have any more k-lax? b-birdperson?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
652,00:15:37.871,00:15:38.469,"k-lax? b-birdperson? uh, squanchy?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
653,00:15:38.471,00:15:39.837,"b-birdperson? uh, squanchy? >> don't squaunch at me.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
654,00:15:39.839,00:15:41.272,"uh, squanchy? >> don't squaunch at me. >> morty: all right, everybody,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
655,00:15:41.274,00:15:42.473,">> don't squaunch at me. >> morty: all right, everybody, party is officially over!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
656,00:15:42.475,00:15:43.808,">> morty: all right, everybody, party is officially over! rick, take us home now.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
657,00:15:43.810,00:15:45.143,"party is officially over! rick, take us home now. >> rick: all right, all right,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
658,00:15:45.145,00:15:46.477,"rick, take us home now. >> rick: all right, all right, fine, morty, you party pooper",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
659,00:15:46.479,00:15:47.145,">> rick: all right, all right, fine, morty, you party pooper buzzkill!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
660,00:15:47.147,00:15:48.212,"fine, morty, you party pooper buzzkill! boo, boo! morty sucks!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
661,00:15:48.214,00:15:49.814,"buzzkill! boo, boo! morty sucks! >> boo! you suck, whatever your",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
662,00:15:49.816,00:15:50.281,"boo, boo! morty sucks! >> boo! you suck, whatever your name is.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
663,00:15:50.283,00:15:51.049,">> boo! you suck, whatever your name is. >> rick: boo!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
664,00:15:51.051,00:15:52.483,"name is. >> rick: boo! morty, you're the worst, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
665,00:15:52.485,00:15:53.051,">> rick: boo! morty, you're the worst, morty. >> boo!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
666,00:15:53.053,00:15:54.485,"morty, you're the worst, morty. >> boo! >> but these gears just started",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
667,00:15:54.487,00:15:55.320,>> boo! >> but these gears just started turnin'.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
668,00:15:55.322,00:15:56.988,">> but these gears just started turnin'. >> almost finished, jerry?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
669,00:15:56.990,00:15:59.223,"turnin'. >> almost finished, jerry? >> jerry: uh, almost.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
670,00:15:59.225,00:16:01.192,">> almost finished, jerry? >> jerry: uh, almost. i haven't quite captured your",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
671,00:16:01.194,00:16:02.126,">> jerry: uh, almost. i haven't quite captured your beautiful eyes.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
672,00:16:02.128,00:16:03.728,i haven't quite captured your beautiful eyes. >> i'm sure it's good enough.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
673,00:16:03.730,00:16:04.128,beautiful eyes. >> i'm sure it's good enough. move!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
674,00:16:04.130,00:16:05.730,">> i'm sure it's good enough. move! every weekend, jacks and roses",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
675,00:16:05.732,00:16:07.298,"move! every weekend, jacks and roses have their titanic experience in",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
676,00:16:07.300,00:16:09.734,"every weekend, jacks and roses have their titanic experience in this car, and i have to mop it",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
677,00:16:09.736,00:16:10.335,"have their titanic experience in this car, and i have to mop it up.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
678,00:16:10.337,00:16:11.836,"this car, and i have to mop it up. the floor drops out to make it",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
679,00:16:11.838,00:16:13.304,up. the floor drops out to make it easier.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
680,00:16:13.306,00:16:14.505,the floor drops out to make it easier. but now it's my turn.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
681,00:16:14.507,00:16:16.341,easier. but now it's my turn. we're going to get it nice and,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
682,00:16:16.343,00:16:18.309,"but now it's my turn. we're going to get it nice and steamy in there, and i'm going",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
683,00:16:18.311,00:16:20.311,"we're going to get it nice and steamy in there, and i'm going to slam my hand on the steam and",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
684,00:16:20.313,00:16:22.313,"steamy in there, and i'm going to slam my hand on the steam and leave a nice handprint, and then",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
685,00:16:22.315,00:16:24.182,"to slam my hand on the steam and leave a nice handprint, and then you're going to love inside of",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
686,00:16:24.184,00:16:24.882,"leave a nice handprint, and then you're going to love inside of me.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
687,00:16:24.884,00:16:26.517,you're going to love inside of me. no mess. no clean.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
688,00:16:26.519,00:16:27.385,me. no mess. no clean. >> beth: [ grunts ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
689,00:16:27.387,00:16:28.186,no mess. no clean. >> beth: [ grunts ] >> jerry: beth!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
690,00:16:28.188,00:16:29.387,>> beth: [ grunts ] >> jerry: beth! >> beth: bet you're glad i think,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
691,00:16:29.389,00:16:33.358,>> jerry: beth! >> beth: bet you're glad i think kindles are dumb now.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
692,00:16:33.360,00:16:34.826,>> beth: bet you're glad i think kindles are dumb now. i can't help but feel a little,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
693,00:16:34.828,00:16:35.226,kindles are dumb now. i can't help but feel a little guilty.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
694,00:16:35.228,00:16:36.928,i can't help but feel a little guilty. i didn't peg lucy for a rapist.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
695,00:16:36.930,00:16:38.329,guilty. i didn't peg lucy for a rapist. >> jerry: what does a rapist,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
696,00:16:38.331,00:16:39.831,"i didn't peg lucy for a rapist. >> jerry: what does a rapist look like exactly, beth?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
697,00:16:39.833,00:16:41.199,">> jerry: what does a rapist look like exactly, beth? is it a slavic man wearing a",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
698,00:16:41.201,00:16:42.900,"look like exactly, beth? is it a slavic man wearing a denim jacket with a patchy beard",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
699,00:16:42.902,00:16:44.435,is it a slavic man wearing a denim jacket with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
700,00:16:44.437,00:16:46.170,denim jacket with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne wafting over his blister-pocked,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
701,00:16:46.172,00:16:47.271,and the scent of cheap champagne wafting over his blister-pocked lips?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
702,00:16:47.273,00:16:49.507,wafting over his blister-pocked lips? >> beth: what?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
703,00:16:49.509,00:16:50.942,"lips? >> beth: what? well, at least you got all this",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
704,00:16:50.944,00:16:51.409,">> beth: what? well, at least you got all this free stuff.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
705,00:16:51.411,00:16:53.211,"well, at least you got all this free stuff. should be enough to satisfy your",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
706,00:16:53.213,00:16:54.846,free stuff. should be enough to satisfy your titanic jones for a while.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
707,00:16:54.848,00:16:55.947,should be enough to satisfy your titanic jones for a while. >> jerry: [ grunts ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
708,00:16:55.949,00:16:57.281,titanic jones for a while. >> jerry: [ grunts ] i'm not going to fit.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
709,00:16:57.283,00:16:59.050,">> jerry: [ grunts ] i'm not going to fit. beth, listen to me.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
710,00:16:59.052,00:17:00.218,"i'm not going to fit. beth, listen to me. you're going to get out of here.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
711,00:17:00.220,00:17:01.285,"beth, listen to me. you're going to get out of here. you're gonna go on, and --",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
712,00:17:01.287,00:17:02.420,"you're going to get out of here. you're gonna go on, and -- >> beth: jerry, just leave the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
713,00:17:02.422,00:17:02.920,"you're gonna go on, and -- >> beth: jerry, just leave the door.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
714,00:17:02.922,00:17:04.122,">> beth: jerry, just leave the door. >> jerry: it's not a door, beth.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
715,00:17:04.124,00:17:04.789,"door. >> jerry: it's not a door, beth. it's debris.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
716,00:17:04.791,00:17:05.556,">> jerry: it's not a door, beth. it's debris. >> beth: i don't care.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
717,00:17:05.558,00:17:06.924,it's debris. >> beth: i don't care. just leave it.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
718,00:17:06.926,00:17:09.227,>> beth: i don't care. just leave it. >> jerry: yeah. okay.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
719,00:17:09.229,00:17:18.536,">> [ laughs evilly ] ""cape fear""! ""cape fear""!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
720,00:17:18.538,00:17:20.038,"""cape fear""! ""cape fear""! i'm -- i'm doing -- i'm -- i'm",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
721,00:17:20.040,00:17:21.072,"""cape fear""! i'm -- i'm doing -- i'm -- i'm going to do like from",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
722,00:17:21.074,00:17:22.073,"i'm -- i'm doing -- i'm -- i'm going to do like from ""cape fear.""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
723,00:17:22.075,00:17:23.941,"going to do like from ""cape fear."" [ grunts, groans ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
724,00:17:23.943,00:17:26.744,"""cape fear."" [ grunts, groans ] [ moaning, screaming ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
725,00:17:26.746,00:17:35.386,">> hey, squanchers! the party's squanching on at my place!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
726,00:17:35.388,00:17:37.422,the party's squanching on at my place! [ all cheering ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
727,00:17:37.424,00:17:38.256,place! [ all cheering ] >> summer: cool.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
728,00:17:38.258,00:17:39.123,"[ all cheering ] >> summer: cool. i'm coming, too.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
729,00:17:39.125,00:17:39.590,">> summer: cool. i'm coming, too. >> uh, no.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
730,00:17:39.592,00:17:41.159,"i'm coming, too. >> uh, no. you're not squanchy enough for a",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
731,00:17:41.161,00:17:41.993,">> uh, no. you're not squanchy enough for a squanchy party.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
732,00:17:41.995,00:17:42.894,you're not squanchy enough for a squanchy party. >> summer: what?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
733,00:17:42.896,00:17:44.162,squanchy party. >> summer: what? >> nancy told us what a bitch,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
734,00:17:44.164,00:17:44.595,>> summer: what? >> nancy told us what a bitch you are.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
735,00:17:44.597,00:17:45.997,">> nancy told us what a bitch you are. >> summer: guys, seriously.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
736,00:17:45.999,00:17:46.330,"you are. >> summer: guys, seriously. nancy?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
737,00:17:46.332,00:17:48.266,">> summer: guys, seriously. nancy? >> summer, you're a bad person.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
738,00:17:48.268,00:17:49.500,"nancy? >> summer, you're a bad person. all you care about is having",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
739,00:17:49.502,00:17:50.835,">> summer, you're a bad person. all you care about is having popular people like you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
740,00:17:50.837,00:17:51.469,all you care about is having popular people like you. that's not what,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
741,00:17:51.471,00:17:52.970,popular people like you. that's not what abradolph lincoler stood for.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
742,00:17:52.972,00:17:55.173,"that's not what abradolph lincoler stood for. well, i-it was hard to pin down",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
743,00:17:55.175,00:17:56.574,"abradolph lincoler stood for. well, i-it was hard to pin down what he stood for, but it's",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
744,00:17:56.576,00:17:59.010,"well, i-it was hard to pin down what he stood for, but it's certainly not what he died for.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
745,00:17:59.012,00:18:06.017,">> summer: next time i party, i'm just gonna focus on getting totally wrecked.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
746,00:18:06.019,00:18:07.285,i'm just gonna focus on getting totally wrecked. you're so wise.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
747,00:18:07.287,00:18:09.287,totally wrecked. you're so wise. >> rick: [ mumbles ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
748,00:18:09.289,00:18:10.922,you're so wise. >> rick: [ mumbles ] >> may i assist you with that?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
749,00:18:10.924,00:18:12.156,">> rick: [ mumbles ] >> may i assist you with that? >> morty: uh, sure, yeah.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
750,00:18:12.158,00:18:12.590,">> may i assist you with that? >> morty: uh, sure, yeah. thanks.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
751,00:18:12.592,00:18:14.025,">> morty: uh, sure, yeah. thanks. >> morty, do you know what",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
752,00:18:14.027,00:18:15.426,"thanks. >> morty, do you know what ""wubba lubba dub dub"" means?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
753,00:18:15.428,00:18:17.095,">> morty, do you know what ""wubba lubba dub dub"" means? >> morty: uh, that's just rick's",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
754,00:18:17.097,00:18:18.463,"""wubba lubba dub dub"" means? >> morty: uh, that's just rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
755,00:18:18.465,00:18:19.964,">> morty: uh, that's just rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase. >> it's not nonsense at all.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
756,00:18:19.966,00:18:22.266,"stupid nonsense catchphrase. >> it's not nonsense at all. in my people's tongue, it means,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
757,00:18:22.268,00:18:23.201,">> it's not nonsense at all. in my people's tongue, it means, ""i am in great pain.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
758,00:18:23.203,00:18:24.102,"in my people's tongue, it means, ""i am in great pain. please help me.""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
759,00:18:24.104,00:18:25.369,"""i am in great pain. please help me."" >> morty: well, i got news for",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
760,00:18:25.371,00:18:25.636,"please help me."" >> morty: well, i got news for you.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
761,00:18:25.638,00:18:27.138,">> morty: well, i got news for you. he's saying it ironically.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
762,00:18:27.140,00:18:27.939,"you. he's saying it ironically. >> no, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
763,00:18:27.941,00:18:29.874,"he's saying it ironically. >> no, morty. your grandfather is, indeed, in",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
764,00:18:29.876,00:18:30.975,">> no, morty. your grandfather is, indeed, in very deep pain.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
765,00:18:30.977,00:18:32.477,"your grandfather is, indeed, in very deep pain. that is why he must numb",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
766,00:18:32.479,00:18:33.044,very deep pain. that is why he must numb himself.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
767,00:18:33.046,00:18:34.145,"that is why he must numb himself. >> morty: come on, um...",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
768,00:18:34.147,00:18:34.946,"himself. >> morty: come on, um... >> birdperson.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
769,00:18:34.948,00:18:36.180,">> morty: come on, um... >> birdperson. >> morty: come on, birdperson.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
770,00:18:36.182,00:18:37.515,">> birdperson. >> morty: come on, birdperson. rick's not that complicated.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
771,00:18:37.517,00:18:38.983,">> morty: come on, birdperson. rick's not that complicated. he's just a huge asshole.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
772,00:18:38.985,00:18:40.384,rick's not that complicated. he's just a huge asshole. >> then why do you care so much,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
773,00:18:40.386,00:18:42.019,he's just a huge asshole. >> then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed to,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
774,00:18:42.021,00:18:43.321,>> then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed to continue on your adventures,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
775,00:18:43.323,00:18:43.988,if you are no longer allowed to continue on your adventures together?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
776,00:18:43.990,00:18:45.323,continue on your adventures together? it appears fate has presented,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
777,00:18:45.325,00:18:46.557,together? it appears fate has presented you with an opportunity to free,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
778,00:18:46.559,00:18:47.658,it appears fate has presented you with an opportunity to free yourself of rick forever.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
779,00:18:47.660,00:18:48.893,you with an opportunity to free yourself of rick forever. >> morty: you know what?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
780,00:18:48.895,00:18:49.393,yourself of rick forever. >> morty: you know what? you're right.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
781,00:18:49.395,00:18:50.394,>> morty: you know what? you're right. i shouldn't even care.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
782,00:18:50.396,00:18:51.662,you're right. i shouldn't even care. this is probably the best thing,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
783,00:18:51.664,00:18:53.064,i shouldn't even care. this is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
784,00:18:53.066,00:18:54.298,this is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. i'm sick of having adventures,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
785,00:18:54.300,00:18:54.899,that could have happened to me. i'm sick of having adventures with rick.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
786,00:18:54.901,00:18:56.000,i'm sick of having adventures with rick. >> my people have another,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
787,00:18:56.002,00:18:57.969,"with rick. >> my people have another saying -- ""gubba nub nub doo rah",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
788,00:18:57.971,00:18:58.336,">> my people have another saying -- ""gubba nub nub doo rah kah.""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
789,00:18:58.338,00:19:00.138,"saying -- ""gubba nub nub doo rah kah."" it means, ""whatever lets you",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
790,00:19:00.140,00:19:01.172,"kah."" it means, ""whatever lets you sleep at night.""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
791,00:19:01.174,00:19:02.240,"it means, ""whatever lets you sleep at night."" [ cellphone beeps ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
792,00:19:02.242,00:19:03.674,"sleep at night."" [ cellphone beeps ] >> summer: guys, mom and dad",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
793,00:19:03.676,00:19:05.009,"[ cellphone beeps ] >> summer: guys, mom and dad are, like, right around the",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
794,00:19:05.011,00:19:05.409,">> summer: guys, mom and dad are, like, right around the corner.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
795,00:19:05.411,00:19:07.044,"are, like, right around the corner. >> this is your moment, morty.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
796,00:19:07.046,00:19:08.246,"corner. >> this is your moment, morty. choose wisely.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
797,00:19:08.248,00:19:09.580,">> this is your moment, morty. choose wisely. tammy!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
798,00:19:09.582,00:19:12.049,choose wisely. tammy! [ grunts ] caw!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
799,00:19:12.051,00:19:19.390,">> summer: wow. we are so screwed. >> morty: rick, wake up.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
800,00:19:19.392,00:19:20.525,"we are so screwed. >> morty: rick, wake up. >> rick: huh? what? wait? what?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
801,00:19:20.527,00:19:21.092,">> morty: rick, wake up. >> rick: huh? what? wait? what? what? stop.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
802,00:19:21.094,00:19:22.160,">> rick: huh? what? wait? what? what? stop. >> morty: rick, you got to do",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
803,00:19:22.162,00:19:22.660,"what? stop. >> morty: rick, you got to do something quick.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
804,00:19:22.662,00:19:23.427,">> morty: rick, you got to do something quick. my parents are home.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
805,00:19:23.429,00:19:24.228,something quick. my parents are home. >> rick: [ groans ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
806,00:19:24.230,00:19:25.396,"my parents are home. >> rick: [ groans ] uh, all -- all right.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
807,00:19:25.398,00:19:26.998,">> rick: [ groans ] uh, all -- all right. all right. hold -- hold on.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
808,00:19:27.000,00:19:28.232,"uh, all -- all right. all right. hold -- hold on. [ gulping ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
809,00:19:28.234,00:19:28.933,all right. hold -- hold on. [ gulping ] ahh! so good.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
810,00:19:28.935,00:19:29.667,"[ gulping ] ahh! so good. >> morty: oh, my god.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
811,00:19:29.669,00:19:31.035,"ahh! so good. >> morty: oh, my god. they're walking up the driveway.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
812,00:19:31.037,00:19:32.170,">> morty: oh, my god. they're walking up the driveway. >> rick: bring me the thing.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
813,00:19:32.172,00:19:33.271,they're walking up the driveway. >> rick: bring me the thing. >> morty: what -- what thing?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
814,00:19:33.273,00:19:34.405,>> rick: bring me the thing. >> morty: what -- what thing? >> rick: the thing. the thing.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
815,00:19:34.407,00:19:35.540,">> morty: what -- what thing? >> rick: the thing. the thing. the -- the -- it's got, like,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
816,00:19:35.542,00:19:37.041,">> rick: the thing. the thing. the -- the -- it's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
817,00:19:37.043,00:19:37.708,"the -- the -- it's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it. it -- it -- it beeps.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
818,00:19:37.710,00:19:38.409,buttons on it and lights on it. it -- it -- it beeps. >> morty: rick!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
819,00:19:38.411,00:19:39.510,it -- it -- it beeps. >> morty: rick! that describes everything in,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
820,00:19:39.512,00:19:40.111,>> morty: rick! that describes everything in your garage!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
821,00:19:40.113,00:19:41.212,that describes everything in your garage! >> summer: do you mean this?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
822,00:19:41.214,00:19:42.513,your garage! >> summer: do you mean this? >> rick: summer for [burps],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
823,00:19:42.515,00:19:45.082,>> summer: do you mean this? >> rick: summer for [burps] for the win.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
824,00:19:45.084,00:19:46.050,">> rick: summer for [burps] for the win. all right, that should do it.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
825,00:19:46.052,00:19:46.551,"for the win. all right, that should do it. >> morty: whoa!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
826,00:19:46.553,00:19:47.218,"all right, that should do it. >> morty: whoa! what did you do?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
827,00:19:47.220,00:19:50.054,">> morty: whoa! what did you do? >> rick: uh, s-see for yourself.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
828,00:19:50.056,00:19:50.721,"what did you do? >> rick: uh, s-see for yourself. >> summer: whoa!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
829,00:19:50.723,00:19:52.123,">> rick: uh, s-see for yourself. >> summer: whoa! >> rick: yeah, e-everything's",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
830,00:19:52.125,00:19:52.957,">> summer: whoa! >> rick: yeah, e-everything's frozen in time.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
831,00:19:52.959,00:19:54.192,">> rick: yeah, e-everything's frozen in time. yeah, and slow mobius thinks",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
832,00:19:54.194,00:19:54.959,"frozen in time. yeah, and slow mobius thinks he's all that.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
833,00:19:54.961,00:19:56.060,"yeah, and slow mobius thinks he's all that. >> morty: for how long?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
834,00:19:56.062,00:19:57.061,he's all that. >> morty: for how long? >> rick: i don't know.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
835,00:19:57.063,00:19:58.229,>> morty: for how long? >> rick: i don't know. how long do you guys want?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
836,00:19:58.231,00:19:59.730,>> rick: i don't know. how long do you guys want? a week? a month?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
837,00:19:59.732,00:20:01.032,how long do you guys want? a week? a month? >> summer: can we start cleaning,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
838,00:20:01.034,00:20:03.367,a week? a month? >> summer: can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
839,00:20:03.369,00:20:05.603,>> summer: can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel? [ mid-tempo rock music plays ],S01,E11,Ricksy Business
840,00:20:05.605,00:20:28.326,[  epic music plays] >> rick: worst movie ever. >> summer: dumb.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
841,00:20:28.328,00:20:29.427,">> rick: worst movie ever. >> summer: dumb. >> morty: ooh, boy, what a waste",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
842,00:20:29.429,00:20:29.760,">> summer: dumb. >> morty: ooh, boy, what a waste of time.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
843,00:20:29.762,00:20:31.262,">> morty: ooh, boy, what a waste of time. [ laughter ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
844,00:20:31.264,00:20:31.662,of time. [ laughter ] get it?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
845,00:20:31.664,00:20:33.231,"[ laughter ] get it? you know, 'cause it's frozen.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
846,00:20:33.233,00:20:34.665,"get it? you know, 'cause it's frozen. >> summer: this has been so much",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
847,00:20:34.667,00:20:35.166,"you know, 'cause it's frozen. >> summer: this has been so much fun.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
848,00:20:35.168,00:20:36.234,">> summer: this has been so much fun. >> morty: hey, rick.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
849,00:20:36.236,00:20:37.501,"fun. >> morty: hey, rick. you know, this whole time, i",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
850,00:20:37.503,00:20:39.003,">> morty: hey, rick. you know, this whole time, i haven't once heard you say that",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
851,00:20:39.005,00:20:40.171,"you know, this whole time, i haven't once heard you say that ""wubba lubba dub dub"" thing that",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
852,00:20:40.173,00:20:40.738,"haven't once heard you say that ""wubba lubba dub dub"" thing that you usually say.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
853,00:20:40.740,00:20:41.639,"""wubba lubba dub dub"" thing that you usually say. >> rick: don't need to.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
854,00:20:41.641,00:20:43.140,you usually say. >> rick: don't need to. i have [burps] a new,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
855,00:20:43.142,00:20:43.641,>> rick: don't need to. i have [burps] a new catchphrase.,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
856,00:20:43.643,00:20:44.575,"i have [burps] a new catchphrase. >> morty: oh, yeah?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
857,00:20:44.577,00:20:45.643,"catchphrase. >> morty: oh, yeah? what -- what's that, rick?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
858,00:20:45.645,00:20:47.078,">> morty: oh, yeah? what -- what's that, rick? >> rick: i love my grandkids.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
859,00:20:47.080,00:20:47.478,"what -- what's that, rick? >> rick: i love my grandkids. >> both: aww.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
860,00:20:47.480,00:20:48.145,>> rick: i love my grandkids. >> both: aww. >> rick: psych!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
861,00:20:48.147,00:20:49.013,>> both: aww. >> rick: psych! just kidding -- my new,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
862,00:20:49.015,00:20:50.448,">> rick: psych! just kidding -- my new catchphrase is, ""i don't give a",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
863,00:20:50.450,00:20:51.415,"just kidding -- my new catchphrase is, ""i don't give a [bleep]""",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
864,00:20:51.417,00:20:53.351,"catchphrase is, ""i don't give a [bleep]"" ♪ just shake that ass, bitch,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
865,00:20:53.353,00:20:55.086,"[bleep]"" ♪ just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
866,00:20:55.088,00:20:56.687,"♪ just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪ ♪ just shake that ass, bitch,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
867,00:20:56.689,00:20:58.356,"and let me see whatcha got ♪ ♪ just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
868,00:20:58.358,00:20:59.257,"♪ just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪ roll credits!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
869,00:20:59.259,00:21:00.358,and let me see whatcha got ♪ roll credits! ♪ just shake that a--,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
870,00:21:00.360,00:21:01.459,roll credits! ♪ just shake that a-- roll the credits! go!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
871,00:21:01.461,00:21:02.460,♪ just shake that a-- roll the credits! go! ♪ just shake that ass,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
872,00:21:02.462,00:21:04.128,roll the credits! go! ♪ just shake that ass that's the end of season one!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
873,00:21:04.130,00:21:05.529,"♪ just shake that ass that's the end of season one! that's the end, mother[bleep]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
874,00:21:05.531,00:21:07.131,"that's the end of season one! that's the end, mother[bleep] ""i don't give a [bleep]"" is my",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
875,00:21:07.133,00:21:07.798,"that's the end, mother[bleep] ""i don't give a [bleep]"" is my new catchphrase!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
876,00:21:07.800,00:21:09.300,"""i don't give a [bleep]"" is my new catchphrase! [bleep] you!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
877,00:21:09.302,00:21:11.302,new catchphrase! [bleep] you! that's season one! boom!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
878,00:21:11.304,00:21:13.271,"[bleep] you! that's season one! boom! season one up in your face,",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
879,00:21:13.273,00:21:14.505,"that's season one! boom! season one up in your face, mother[bleep]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
880,00:21:14.507,00:21:15.439,"season one up in your face, mother[bleep] yeah!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
881,00:21:15.441,00:21:52.543,>> revenge. what?!,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
882,00:21:52.545,00:22:02.853,">> party! >> whoo, baby! >> [ groans ] please, stop!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
883,00:22:02.855,00:22:04.322,">> whoo, baby! >> [ groans ] please, stop! >> hey, brah!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
884,00:22:04.324,00:22:05.690,">> [ groans ] please, stop! >> hey, brah! >> i don't understand.",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
885,00:22:05.692,00:22:07.191,">> hey, brah! >> i don't understand. are you enjoying this?",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
886,00:22:07.193,00:22:08.259,>> i don't understand. are you enjoying this? do you like this?,S01,E11,Ricksy Business
887,00:22:08.261,00:22:10.695,"are you enjoying this? do you like this? >> yeah, you know it, dawg!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
888,00:22:10.697,00:22:11.762,"do you like this? >> yeah, you know it, dawg! >> [ gags ]",S01,E11,Ricksy Business
889,00:22:11.764,00:22:13.064,">> yeah, you know it, dawg! >> [ gags ] >> whoo, baby!",S01,E11,Ricksy Business