RubyMine -> Preferences -> Appearance -> Show Memory Indicator
Open /Applications/RubyMine.app/Contents/bin/rubymine.vmoptions
# ~/Library/Preferences/RubyMine70/rubymine.vmoptions
-Xms512m
-Xmx4096m
-XX:MaxPermSize=250m
-XX:ReservedCodeCacheSize=128m
-XX:+UseCodeCacheFlushing
-XX:+UseCompressedOops
For the older versions, the settings are stored in /Applications/RubyMine[version].app/Contents/Info.plist.
Version 2016.3:
https://www.jetbrains.com/help/ruby/2016.3/tuning-rubymine.html#copy1