What if science was capitalist?

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It's true. Remember that the so called "speed of light" was imposed by an atheist jew intellectual, and has since been propped up by an academic elitist cabal supported by big government's tax-and-spend agenda. In fact, the entire enterprise of physics is inherently statist. It spends essentially all its time and resources imposing as many universal laws as possible. If only physics were deregulated, and the behavior of matter and energy left to the free market, those particles whose behavior is best adapted to the demands of the marketplace would outcompete less efficient matter and create a utopia.