So, everything is an object eh, JavaScript? Then every object should have a send method! This is just for fun of course and I pray to not be punished by the gods for extending native prototypes. How fun is it to have a ton of dynamic method dispatching at your hands though?

object_send.js

Object.prototype.send = function(methodName) {
  args = [].slice.call(arguments);
  args.shift()

  if (this.hasOwnProperty(methodName)) return this[methodName];

  if (args.length > 1) {
    return this[methodName].apply(this, args);
  } else {
    return this[methodName]();  
  }
};

var str = 'Hello';
str.send('replace', 'll', 'r');
// => 'hero'

str.send('slice', 0, 4);
// => 'Hell'

var arr = ['Please', "Don't", 'Kill', 'Me', 'JavaScript', 'Purists']
arr.send('length')
// => 6

arr.send('sort')
// => ["Don't", "JavaScript", "Kill", "Me", "Please", "Purists"]

var methods = ['toUpperCase', 'length']
methods.map(function(element) { return str.send(element) });
// => ['HELLO', 5]