FedEx fails to deliver a package after a vacation hold and office closure due to fire, exhibiting algorithmic madness and baked-in customer disservice to accomplish this

FedEx-Algorithmic-Madness.txt

[A cautionary tale of FedEx competence and madness, shown via their email messages to me about an unexpectedly timed gift sent by my employer.]

Tue, Dec 21, 2021, 7:05 AM
Hi, {Employer}. Your package from {Gift Box Co} is scheduled for delivery tomorrow.

[Since I'm out of town, I requested a vacation hold through the 3rd of January. It seemed to work.]
Tue, Dec 21, 2021, 11:42 AM
We have updated your FedEx Delivery Manager® profile as requested. We have changed the following section:
Vacation Hold section

[Then again, perhaps the vacation hold didn't take hold?]
Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 10:16 AM
Hi, {Employer}. Your package from {Gift Box Co} is now out for delivery today.

[OK, maybe my backup "don't leave it unattended, but instead at the nearby FedEx Office", got through then.]
Wed, Dec 22, 2021, 10:54 AM
Hi, {Employer}. Your package from {Gift Box Co} is ready for pickup at the location below.
FedEx Office
976 W DILLON RD

[Hints of madness show. They're not supposed to deliver anywhere until 3rd.]
Wed, Dec 29, 2021, 5:13 PM
Hi, {Employer}. We were unable to complete delivery of your package from {Gift Box Co}.

[The FedEx bots descend completely into bureaucratic madness. Scheduled arrival after the delay is... in the past. It's the algorithm.]
Wed, Dec 29, 2021, 6:31 PM
Hi, {Employer}. Your package from {Gift Box Co} is delayed. It is scheduled to arrive on Wed, 12/22/2021 before 10:29am.

[Then... Marshall Fire burns 991+ homes and multiple commercial properties on 30 Dec 2021. Other units in the building housing FedEx Office at 976 W Dillon Road are damaged by fire. The shopping center's landscaping burns off.]

[I arrive home on Jan 1 2022, barely in time to drain the pipes before inside of house reaches hard freeze. Only blocks way, we have total destruction down to foundation stubble on entire neighborhoods. The FedEx Office at 976 W Dillon Rd is closed due to fire/water/smoke damage.]

[I restart USPS mail on Jan 4th. Mail was held without incident during my absence, even though I changed the end date twice. Even federal disaster areas don't seem to faze the USPS.]

[FedEx Office at 976 W Dillon Rd is still closed. It has not opened since the fire. I have checked daily since the exclusion zone was relaxed on the 2nd. Yet...]
Wed, Jan 5, 2022, 4:53 PM
Hi, {Employer}. We were unable to complete delivery of your package from {Gift Box Co}.
Exception Reason
1. Unable to deliver shipment, returned to shipper

[FedEx customer service was worse than useless on a phone call. Couldn't seem to even comprehend an office not being open. Why did I even waste my time calling and fighting through their nonsensical voice jail defaults to a representative? LOL.]

[I twitter-mentioned them, then after their twitter bots failed to provide customer support via social media, laughingly filled out their NPS survey with my true and honest opinions about whether customer service solved my problem, and whether I'd recommend FedEx. Yes, it was straight 0 across the board. Their systemic cultural competence failure resulting in algorithmic madness, and flappers instead of service reps, deserves full recognition and credit.]