I am a member of the lgbt community in Denver, and in being part of this group many of us constantly are telling stories about how we grew up in households that were not supportive of who we were. When we tell these stories or hear them from friends we connect through empathy to the others in the conversation even if the stories are not the same. For me when I feel I am able to allow myself to listen with empathy to others I find I connect on a more real level with them and in the long term create more authentic friendships. As a partner in my romantic relationship, I also connect through empathy to my fiancé. By having both of us do this, often through regular check-ins, we ensure that we are remaining happy and loving.
Building software is a team sport. By this I mean that it is largely done in groups. Empathy is a very large part of interacting productively in a team environment. If all voices in that team are feeling heard, understood and valued, the team as a whole will make a better product and be more motivated to see it to completion. It is also important to remember that the software development world is growing to be more and more diverse and in my experience, diversity comes with a need for empathy.
I partially touched on this in the previous question. Specifically, empathy is what connects one member of a team to another on a level beyond that of "another hand in the pot." By connecting further the individuals start to see each other as valuable, and in doing so care for their emotional state. A strong team does well not because of the individuals' skills, but instead the ability of the team to come together and work with the skills of others to create a great product.
My work history has largely taken place in the military. In the services the individuals that you work with are from so many different walks of life. I was always doing my best to connect with all of the different soldiers by understanding not just their strengths in their assigned duties but also their personality and emotions. The prime example I can think of with this is, when a female soldier of mine grew very quite over the course of a training exercise. Seeing she had withdrawn I pulled her aside to listen to what was bothering her. She expressed how in her experiences with larger groups, being the woman in the unit her opinions were often pushed aside or overpowered by others. From that point on I took a more active roll of ensuring that the soldiers opinions and ideas were heard and her spirit was noticeably more positive from that point forward.
When do you find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings? How can you improve your skills when faced with these scenarios?
The times I find it most difficult to show empathy when working professionally is when a deadline is coming or there is pressure from management to move a project along faster. When this happens it is difficult to not push over the feeling of your teammates and let stress drive the workflow. I can see that in the past this does not produce the best results, as often I find the team no longer enjoys the work and puts forth a sub-optimal product. I try to improve on this by implementing a phase used in my military unit quite often. "Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast." In keeping calm and remembering that rushing things does not create faster or cleaner work I will be able to continue to use empathy and the team will hopefully show more pride and motivation for the job.