Hostile XMLRPC Responder

hostile-xmlrpc-responder.php

<?php
/*
Plugin Name: Hostile XMLRPC Responder
Plugin URI: https://kneejerk.dev
Description: A MUST use plugin designed to respond to XMLRPC requests with a little hostility =]
Version: 2.8.1
Author: Ryan "Rohjay" Oeltjenbruns
Author URI: https://rohjay.one
Requires at least: 6.0
Requires PHP: 8.0

To install, simply drop this file in the wp-content/mu-plugins/ folder of your site!
*/

if ( !defined('XMLRPC_REQUEST') || XMLRPC_REQUEST == false ) {
    return;
}

// Ok - let's have some fun!
while ( ob_get_level() ) {
    ob_end_flush();
}

echo "Commencing hostile xmlrpc response... One second please!\n";
$random_string = str_repeat(md5( rand(10000,99999) . microtime(true) ), 1000);

// Dump for 1m straight. Hey - I'm not a monster!
$end_time = time() + 60;

while ( true ) {
    echo $random_string; // No line breaks. Initial tests indicate it crashes tabs 2x as fast!
    if ( time() > $end_time ) {
        break;
    }
}

echo "\nHostile XMLRPC response complete. Have a good day.";
exit();

I'm thinking perhaps "a little hostility" is a sliiiiight understatement 🤔