SeriousBot

gistfile1.txt

var config = {
    channels: ["#seriouslee"],
    server: "irc.esper.net",
    botName: "SeriousBot"
};

var MAX_RANDOM_TIMEOUT = 20000000;

var randomMessages = [
    "PRRRRRRRT!",
    "MHMMMMHHMMM!",
    "EEEEUEUUUHH!",
    "In je poep!",
    "Dat is niet verplicht, maar slechts een aanbeveling.",
    "Nog even wat YouTube filmpkes kijken...",
    "Moeie een koekske ein dikke lul?",
    "Ik heb kaka gedaan.",
    "dotdotdotdotdotdotdotdotdot..."
];

var joinMessages = [
    "ELLO {0}!",
    "{0}, we zijn blij dat je erbij bent.",
    "{0} ... dude ... welcome back...",
    "AAAAARGHHH, het is een {0}!",
    "Aah, die {0}poepoehoofd.",
    "En die {0} leeft ook nog"
];

var history = {};

String.prototype.format = function() {
    var formatted = this;
    for( var arg in arguments ) {
        formatted = formatted.replace("{" + arg + "}", arguments[arg]);
    }
    return formatted;
};

function escapeRegExp(string) {
        return string.replace(/([.*+?^=!:${}()|\[\]\/\\])/g, "\\$1");
}

String.prototype.replaceAll = function(find, replace) {
      return this.replace(new RegExp(escapeRegExp(find), 'g'), replace);
}

var irc = require("irc");

var bot = new irc.Client(config.server, config.botName, {
    channels: config.channels
});

// Listen for joins
bot.addListener("join", function(channel, who) {
    if(who != config.botName) {
        var i = Math.floor(Math.random() * joinMessages.length);
        var message = joinMessages[i].format(who);
        bot.say(channel, message);
    } else {
        newTimeout(channel);
    }
});

// Listen for any message, PM said user when he posts
/*bot.addListener("message", function(from, to, text, message) {
    bot.say(from, "Me stupid, no answer.");
});*/

// Listen for any message, say to him/her in the room
bot.addListener("message", function(from, to, text, message) {
    if(text.indexOf(config.botName) >= 0) {
        bot.say(config.channels[0], "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?");
    } else if(text == "random") {
        randomMessage(config.channels[0]);
    } else if(/s\/.*\/.*\//.test(text)) {
        if(!history.hasOwnProperty(from)) {
            bot.say(config.channels[0], "Dude, please say something before asking to replace something ... dumbass");
        } else {
            var parts = text.split(/[\/]/);
            var original = history[from];
            var newMsg = original.replaceAll(parts[1], parts[2]);
            //bot.say(config.channels[0], "Hold on, we have a substitute request!");
            bot.say(config.channels[0], from + ": " + newMsg);
        }
    }
    history[from] = text;
});

// Random message
newTimeout = function(channel) {
    setTimeout(function() {
        newTimeout(channel);
        randomMessage(channel);
    }, Math.floor(Math.random() * MAX_RANDOM_TIMEOUT));
};

randomMessage = function(channel) {
    var i = Math.floor(Math.random() * randomMessages.length);
    bot.say(channel, randomMessages[i]);
}