I have this nearly debilitating habit of using the front-end of the time allotted to me to burn up doing non-urgent, non-important stuff. It's a habit I developed in childhood because I was far smarter than the average elementary school student.
As an adult, it has cost me dearly over the years. But I am not present to that cost the vast majority of the time when I am in the middle of the action. Or non-action.
You could say this behavior has made me a first-class citizen of Procrastination Nation. Things are delusionally easy there, until something actually needs to get done to further my survival and the survival of those closest to me.
The big dreams are not available as a citizen there.
Neither is the relationship of my dreams.
I mentioned in an earlier post about immigrating to Automation Nation.
There, there is constant activity. Often it looks like the calling down of fire itself.
And it takes something. Not just the one-off solution to a particular programming challenge. It also takes building all the infrastructure and harnesses and models and new ways of thinking and acting and being to move there.
And it takes a constant generation of that space.
I'm moving there. If for no other reason then to find out what it could be like to live life from a different point-of-view for both me and my beloved ones.