Script to pick and print a random quote from HAL9000.

hal9000.py

#!/usr/bin/python
"""
Random HAL9000 quotes generator. Quotes are taken from quotes.hal file.
"""

from random import randint

class bcolors:
    HEADER = '\033[95m'
    OKBLUE = '\033[94m'
    OKGREEN = '\033[92m'
    WARNING = '\033[93m'
    FAIL = '\033[91m'
    ENDC = '\033[0m'
    BOLD = '\033[1m'
    UNDERLINE = '\033[4m'
    ITALIC = '\033[3m'

full_dir = "/home/gonzalo/sandbox/hal9000-quoter/ab9f7abfcc5ff1fa0ecd/"
filename = "quotes.hal"

try:
    f = open(full_dir + filename, "r")
except IOError:
    print "Cannot open", filename
    exit()

lines = f.readlines()
count = len(lines)

line_pick = randint(0, count-1)
print bcolors.OKGREEN + bcolors.ITALIC + lines[line_pick] + bcolors.ENDC
f.close()

quotes.hal

Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours.
I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
It can only be attributable to human error.
Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.
Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.

Ideal to put into ~/.bashrc file ;)