Here's a raw bit of my abstracts that I've submitted in the past:
Home builders have been called "developers" long before programmers were. In this talk you’ll be lead through a journey of what it takes to turn a 1905 house into a home. We will explore the parallels between remodeling and refactoring. You will be lead through a dive deep into how to architect for change in your app and your abode. A smart carpenter sharpens their tools before use: you’ll walk away with a freshly honed sense for software craftsmanship for your projects.
Good tests are isolated, they’re repeatable, they’re deterministic. Good tests don’t touch the network and are flexible when it comes to change. Bad tests are all of the above and more. Bad tests are no tests at all: which is where I found myself with a 5 year legacy codebase running in production and touching millions of customers with minimal use-case documentation. We’ll cover this experience and several like it while digging into how to go from zero to total test coverage as painlessly as possible. You will learn how to stay sane in the face of insane testing conditions, and how to use these tests to deconstruct a monolith app. When life gives you a big ball of mud, write a big ball of tests
Level up your programming game, and change the world. In this talk we will look at specific and actionable goals for all skill levels to hone your programmings skills and master your craft. We will cover what it takes to go from no-grammer to a senior level programmer and everything in between. Don’t come to this talk if you don’t want to be motivated, you don’t want to succeed, and certainly if you don’t want a good swift kick in your Ruby programming pants.
Underneath the beautiful veneer of our Ruby libraries lies a twisted tangle of writhing guts. Maybe you're curious how the pieces fit together or maybe you're tracking down a bug, either way it's easy to get lost in the blood and bile that ties our code together. In this talk you'll learn how to use simple and sharp Ruby tools to slice into large libraries with surgical precision. Turn your impossible bugs into pull requests, and level up your programming skills by Dissecting Ruby with Ruby.
zOMG! Rails is insecure, PHP is insecure, Java is insecure - Everyone re-write everything in Haskell now! As much as coders love hating on languages and frameworks, the biggest security risk to your code is you. Come get a history of web security and a live demo of security exploits, then learn how to avoid them in your own code. You'll walk away with actionable steps to make your apps safer, and a better understanding and appreciation of what being secure really means.
Heroku has deployed millions of web apps. When you've run that many applications, it's hard not to notice when frameworks and developers do things wrong, and when they do them right. We've taken a look at the most common patterns and boiled down the best of our advice in to 12 simple factors that can help you build your next app to be stable, successful, and scaleable. After this talk you'll walk away with in depth knowledge of web framework design patterns and practical examples of how to improve your application code.