Nginx - redirects php, asp, cgi (etc) to Recursive David Hasselhoff

nginx_vhost.conf

server {
  listen *:80;

  root /u/apps/...;

  passenger_enabled on;
  passenger_ruby /usr/local/rvm/gems/ruby-2.2.0/wrappers/ruby;
  rails_env staging;

  client_max_body_size 20M;

  # Give hackers that are probing for php, asp, cgi (etc) something to laugh
  # about with a bit of recursive David Hasselhoff :)
  
  location ~ \.(php.?|asp.?|cgi.?)$ {
    rewrite ^/(.*) https://i.imgur.com/Cu288Sy.gif permanent;
  }

  location ~ ^/manager/status {
    rewrite ^/(.*) https://i.imgur.com/Cu288Sy.gif permanent;
  }

  location ~* (translators|phpmyadmin) {
    rewrite ^/(.*) https://i.imgur.com/Cu288Sy.gif permanent;
  }

  #
  # End of funny redirects
  #
}