Geordi La Forge dialog generator

gistfile1.txt

//requires sugar.js (because I spent like 30 seconds on it)
//dialog source: http://stuff.mit.edu/afs/athena/activity/h/humor/Incoming/laforge.dialogue.generator

descriptor = 'electro-magnetic disruptive destructive'.words();
verbs   = 'reconfigure assemble bypass amplify re-route polarize'.words();
nouns   = 'field transducer coil dispersion phase-disruptor anus resonance sub-space tachyon induction pulse matrix baryon conduit wave-guide lepton discriminator polarization electro-magnetic frequency bandwidth antimatter diagnostic mode plasma spectral emitter'.words();
enemies = 'klingons romulans herpes'.words();

var laforge = "Captain, we're going to have to {verb1} the {descriptor1} {nouns1}, and {verb2} the {descriptor2} {nouns2} in order to prevent the {enemy} from penetrating our shields".assign({
  verb1:       verbs.sample(),
  verb2:       verbs.sample(),
  nouns1:      nouns.sample(Number.random(2,3)).join(' '),
  nouns2:      nouns.sample(Number.random(2,3)).join(' '),
  enemy:       enemies.sample(),
  descriptor1: descriptor.sample(),
  descriptor2: descriptor.sample()
});

alert(laforge);