Messages

messages.js

var msg = [
  "Starting to go just a little bit all-the-way",
  "Refactoring polynomials to get over a breakup",
  "Trying to get Swedish Lipton Blackcurrant tea imported",
  "Learning to truly love, without all that stupid compassion",
  "Blowing out other people’s birthday candles",
  "Remembering Jökulsárlón. Oh God I just remembered!",
  "Counting chickens before they hatch",
  "Walking on my hands, then on other people’s hands",
  "Tasting every animal on the farm (alive, not dead)",
  "Sailing into port, or maybe starboard",
  "Inventing acronymns for AWMNOITL",
  "Building sand from scratch",
  "Applying for a job as a speed bump",
  "Asking everyone what their gender is",
  "Re-assigning my birthday to a more appropriate day",
  "Leaving. More. Space. Between. Words. When. I. Speak.",
  "Screaming at squirrels like there’s no tomorrow",
  "Enjoying being unhappy, for the very last time",
  "Lifting as many feathers as possible",
  "Wishing I had a fetish",
  "Looking forward to my next rut",
  "Trying to remember what I was thinking about last time I forgot",
  "Selling the dream of failing better",
  "Offending people using only compliments",
  "Insulting clocks, right to their face",
  "Convincing Björk to go baritone",
  "Discovering what else I can water with my can",
  "Calling every stranger Tony until I finally get it right",
  "Gathering strange looks on the street",
  "Creatively scratching my back",
  "Visiting countries in alphabetical order",
  "Organizing water",
  "Practicing improvisational accounting",
  "Over-emphasizing random syllables in The Lord’s Prayer",
  "Planning last year’s memories",
  "Passive-aggressive napping",
  "Pivoting children",
  "Monetizing loved ones",
  "Leveraging loneliness",
  "Disrupting child-birth",
  "Sobbing controllably",
  "Helping German surfers transition to ostrich farming",
  "Grumbling about marmalade",
  "Waxing and waning, taxing and taming",
  "Training corporate communicators to use more tongue",
  "Subscribing Superman to self-help newsletters",
  "Looking for Belgian restaurants in small towns in Vietnam",
  "Repeating the word “monkey” until it loses all meaning",
  "Trying to remember every (any?) secret I’ve been told",
  "Answering emails using only intepretive dance",
  "Vengeful vacation!",
  "Practicing my resting bitch face",
  "Starting every sentence with “Listen! …”",
  "Winning all kinds of awards for apathy",
  "Consutling with cows to help them make a surprising new sound",
  "Restoring notoriously misguided etiquette guides",
  "Staring wide-eyed, full of wonder and judgement",
  "Making do with only the finest things in life",
  "Saying “Watch this!” to strangers, then walking off",
  "Mowing underwater seaweed to get this ocean looking nice",
  "Bringing butterflies to justice",
  "Charging $1 for every complaint ($2 if it’s about me)",
  "Telling customers at the supermarket to hide",
  "Making lists of all the letters in the alphabet I can think of",
  "Cutting back on the letter s",
  "Convincing Poland to get a little more pizzazz!",
  "Waving at strangers, then scowling when they wave back",
  "Organizing group gargling",
  "Regretting what I’m about to say next",
  "Petting statues in the park. Awwww… Nice statue…",
  "Swimming in scalding memories of my last love"
];