gistfile1.txt

for (f in dbPerson.family) do
  // try and find the fm in the api
  foundFm = null
  for (apiFm in apiPerson.family) do
    if apiFm == f then
      foundFm = apiFm
      break
    end
  end
  if foundFm != null then
    // merge
  else
    // delete
  end
end

// now what about inserts? maybe this will do?
for (apiFm in apiPerson.family) do
  foundFm = null
  for (dbFm in dbPerson.family) do
    if apiFm == dbFm then
      foundFm = dbFm 
      break
    end
  end
  if foundFm == null then
    // insert apiFm
  end 
end