(This is meant in response to this tweetstorm by TayDiscus.)
It's very easy for us to cast the world in black and white. Good and evil. But it's not a good model for every situation.
The enemy of love is not hate; it's fear. Anger can hurt your relationships, but it's fear that ultimately erodes them.
A lot of the pain I've endured in my life was caused by fear and fear itself. Let me explain.
I was sixteen years old when I realized I was attracted to men. My parents were very intolerant; my mom had been shitty and even violent towards homosexual women in bar settings, and my father's reaction to homosexual men was disgust.
I was afraid of what they would do if they ever found out, so I hid it from them. My trick for avoiding discussing sexual or romantic partners was simply not having any. I worked full time and went to college for at least 15 credit hours per semester.
After years of hiding, I moved to Orlando to attend UCF and wanted to start my own life. Be my own gay man. Join weird fandoms that I was afraid to show an interest in while living under my parents' roof (i.e. furry). I thought, maybe I'll even find a boyfriend?
That didn't happen. The fear of being homeless and abandoned was slowly replaced with a different fear: Of being inadequate and dying alone.
Over time, I began to cast aside the wall of fear that I had built for myself over the past decade or so. Brick by brick. I shamelessly posted lame jokes and puns on Twitter and told myself to disregard any groans or complaints I received, but I'd respond to playful ribbing in kind. The groans and complaints, by the way, never came.
I was more than a little nervous when I was mentioned by SwiftOnSecurity one Sunday for changing my Twitter display name to Cryptografur. Naturally, only good things followed. (I even have a boyfriend now.)
It is very easy-- almost tempting, even-- to look at the election this year and develop a sense of dread, especially when someone who's driven by both hate and fear tries to resonate with the insecurities of millions of people (many whom you probably love and don't want to quarrel with).
"Even if Trump loses, he'll still cause untold damage to the election process and to democracy itself." - Paraphrasing of a legitimate concern
Love can overcome hate.
Fear is the mechanism by which love is eroded.
Reason is how we defeat fear.
Reason is beautiful: You start with doubt and work your way towards certainty. Even if you never get to the 100% mark, you'll end up in a far better place than where you started.
A lot of people disagree with each other, then when confronted with opposing views, get hostile. Trump can feed this visceral reaction all he wants. It's up to us to decide to not give in. This means:
- Prioritizing. What matters more: Solving far-reaching socioeconomic problems as effectively, efficiently, and fairly as possible? Or being right and winning the argument? The solution should be the goal. Aim for the truth.
- Being empathetic. They aren't the physical manifestation of the opposition's campaign, they're a living breathing human being with values that might align differently from both candidates. Talk to them, listen, and try to learn as much as you can. Even if they don't do the same, even if they won't meet you halfway.
- Holding yourself accountable. If you're like most people, you've been in the wrong before. Apologize openly and genuinely without fear of reliation. (Don't demand others do the same. It's not about being a better person, it's about being a better you.)
By choosing reason and compassion, we will find ourselves living with greater integrity. We become more resilient to fear, and therefore more capable of love. Both loving and being loved.
Don't fear the words of scared men. Listen to the well-reasoned furry instead.
hug