ercstuff.el

(defvar upside-down-alist
  '((?a . ?ɐ)
    (?b . ?q)
    (?c . ?ɔ)
    (?d . ?p)
    (?e . ?ǝ)
    (?f . ?ɟ)
    (?g . ?ƃ)
    (?h . ?ɥ)
    (?i . ?ı)
    (?j . ?ɾ)
    (?k . ?ʞ)
    (?l . ?l)
    (?m . ?ɯ)
    (?n . ?u)
    (?o . ?o)
    (?p . ?d)
    (?q . ?b)
    (?r . ?ɹ)
    (?s . ?s)
    (?t . ?ʇ)
    (?u . ?n)
    (?v . ?ʌ)
    (?w . ?ʍ)
    (?x . ?x)
    (?y . ?ʎ)
    (?z . ?z)
    (?A . ?∀)
    (?B . ?B)
    (?C . ?Ɔ)
    (?D . ?D)
    (?E . ?Ǝ)
    (?F . ?Ⅎ)
    (?G . ?פ)
    (?H . ?H)
    (?I . ?I)
    (?J . ?ſ)
    (?K . ?K)
    (?L . ?˥)
    (?M . ?W)
    (?N . ?N)
    (?O . ?O)
    (?P . ?Ԁ)
    (?Q . ?Q)
    (?R . ?R)
    (?S . ?S)
    (?T . ?┴)
    (?U . ?∩)
    (?V . ?Λ)
    (?W . ?M)
    (?X . ?X)
    (?Y . ?⅄)
    (?Z . ?Z)
    (?0 . ?0)
    (?1 . ?Ɩ)
    (?2 . ?ᄅ)
    (?3 . ?Ɛ)
    (?4 . ?ㄣ)
    (?5 . ?ϛ)
    (?6 . ?9)
    (?7 . ?ㄥ)
    (?8 . ?8)
    (?9 . ?6)
    (?, . ?')
    (?. . ?˙)
    (?? . ?¿)
    (?! . ?¡)
    (?\" . ?,)
    (?' . ?,)
    (?` . ?,)
    (?( . ?))
    (?) . ?()
    (?[ . ?])
    (?] . ?[)
    (?{ . ?})
    (?} . ?{)
    (?< . ?>)
    (?< . ?<)
    (?& . ?⅋)
    (?_ . ?‾)))

(defvar upside-down-table (make-translation-table upside-down-alist))

(defun flip-text (text)
  (with-temp-buffer
    (insert (apply 'string (reverse (string-to-list text))))
    (translate-region (point-min) (point-max) upside-down-table)
    (buffer-substring (point-min) (point-max))))

(eval-after-load 'erc
  '(progn
     (define-key erc-mode-map "\C-c\C-c" nil)
     (defadvice erc-send-current-line (before expand-input activate)
       "Expand input before sending"
       (expand-abbrev))))

(eval-after-load 'erc-button
  '(progn
     (defadvice erc-button-press-button (after end-on-press last nil activate)
       (end-of-buffer))

     (defun erc-next-link (arg)
       "Move point to the ARGth URL, or the end of the buffer if none."
       (interactive "p")
       (or (re-search-forward erc-button-url-regexp (point-max) t arg)
           (goto-char (point-max))))

     (defun erc-previous-link (arg)
       "Move point to the ARGth most recent URL."
       (interactive "p")
       (when (looking-at erc-button-url-regexp)
         (re-search-backward "\\\s"))
       (re-search-backward erc-button-url-regexp 0 t))

     (define-key erc-mode-map "\C-cp" 'erc-previous-link)
     (define-key erc-mode-map "\C-cn" 'erc-next-link)))

(defun erc-freenode ()
  (interactive)
  (erc-select :server "irc.freenode.net" :nick "sorenmacbeth"))

(defun erc-cmd-PUNCH (&rest nick)
  (let ((places  '("arm" "leg" "face" "gut" "neck" "head" "coccyx")))
    (erc-send-action (erc-default-target)
                     (concat "punches " (car nick)
                             " in the "
                             (nth (random (length places)) places)))))

(defun erc-cmd-CRICKETS ()
  (erc-send-message "http://instantcrickets.com/"))

(defun erc-cmd-RIMSHOT ()
  (erc-send-message "http://instantrimshot.com/"))

(defun erc-cmd-SADTROMBONE ()
  (erc-send-message "http://sadtrombone.com/"))

(defun erc-cmd-FORTUNE ()
  (erc-send-message
   (save-window-excursion
     (with-temp-buffer
       (fortune)
       (trim
        (replace-regexp-in-string
         "\n+" " " (buffer-substring (point-min) (point-max))))))))

(defun erc-cmd-EXCUSE ()
  (erc-send-message
   (save-window-excursion
     (with-temp-buffer
       (fortune "~/.fortune/bofh-excuses")
       (trim
        (replace-regexp-in-string
         "\n+" " " (buffer-substring (point-min) (point-max))))))))

(defun erc-cmd-FLIP (&rest words)
  (let ((subj (if words (flip-text (mapconcat 'identity words " "))
                "┻━┻")))
    (erc-send-message
     (mapconcat 'identity (list "(╯°□°）╯︵ " subj) ""))))

(defun erc-cmd-CALM ()
  (erc-send-message "┬─┬ノ(º_ºノ)"))

(defun erc-cmd-THROW (&rest words)
  (let ((subj (if words (flip-text (mapconcat 'identity words " ")) "┻━┻")))
    (erc-send-message (mapconcat 'identity (list "(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡" subj) ""))))

(defun erc-cmd-DUNNO ()
  (erc-send-message "¯\(°_o)/¯"))

(defun erc-cmd-WAVE ()
  (erc-send-message "http://i.imgur.com/jNFqw.gif"))

(defun erc-cmd-PIZZA ()
  (erc-send-message "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsJhfwbfMvU"))

(defun erc-browse-twitter-user (user)
  (browse-url (format "https://twitter.com/#!/%s" user)))

(defun erc-cmd-LMGTFY (what)
  (require 'url)
  (erc-send-message
   (format "http://lmgtfy.com/?q=%s" (url-hexify-string what))))