gistfile1.sql

SELECT STRAIGHT_JOIN
   LOWER(gs0.VARIABLE_NAME) AS variable_name,
   gs0.VARIABLE_VALUE AS variable_value_0,
   gs1.VARIABLE_VALUE AS variable_value_1,
   (gs1.VARIABLE_VALUE - gs0.VARIABLE_VALUE) AS variable_value_diff,
   (gs1.VARIABLE_VALUE - gs0.VARIABLE_VALUE) / 10 AS variable_value_psec,
   (gs1.VARIABLE_VALUE - gs0.VARIABLE_VALUE) * 60 / 10 AS
variable_value_pminute
FROM
   (
     SELECT
       VARIABLE_NAME,
       VARIABLE_VALUE
     FROM
       INFORMATION_SCHEMA.GLOBAL_STATUS
     UNION ALL
     (SELECT
       '',
       SLEEP(10)
     FROM 
       INFORMATION_SCHEMA.GLOBAL_STATUS LIMIT 1)
   ) AS gs0
   JOIN 
     (
     SELECT
       VARIABLE_NAME,
       VARIABLE_VALUE
     FROM
       INFORMATION_SCHEMA.GLOBAL_STATUS
     UNION ALL
     (SELECT
       '',
       0
     FROM 
       INFORMATION_SCHEMA.GLOBAL_STATUS LIMIT 1)
   ) as gs1 USING (VARIABLE_NAME)
WHERE
   gs1.VARIABLE_VALUE != gs0.VARIABLE_VALUE
;