nicesigs.txt

"Computers are useless; they can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso
"Emacs is a nice operating system, but I prefer UNIX." - Tom Christiansen
"Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with backup-tapes." - Linus Torvalds
"Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what they say if they had." - Linus Torvalds
"The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it." - John Gilmore
"The cheapest, fastest and most reliable components of a computer system are those that aren't there." - Gordon Bell
"There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies." - C A R Hoare
"Unix is simple, but it takes a genius to understand the simplicity." - Dennis Ritchie
A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.
A nerd is someone whose life revolves around computers and technology. A geek is someone whose life revolves around computers and technology, and likes it!!
A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.
And God said "Let there be light." But then the program crashed because he was trying to access the 'light' property of a NULL universe pointer.
Application has reported a 'Not My Fault' in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne 'Stumpy' Stroustrup
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog. -- Anonymous
Change is inevitable; progress is optional.
Claiming that your operating system is the best in the world because more people use it is like saying McDonalds makes the best food in the world.
Computers are like air conditioners - they stop working properly if you open WINDOWS.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Crashing is violent; that's why there are more violent games for Windows - and they'll always work.
Do you remember when you only had to pay for windows when *you* broke them?
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
Ever wonder what's really going on behind the scenes of a Windows machine?  So does everyone else...
Failure is not acceptable. It comes bundled with Windows.
Geeks aren't interested in politics because government doesn't double its efficiency and speed once every 18 months.
Given enough time and money, eventually Microsoft will re-invent UNIX.
Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).
God is real... unless declared an integer.
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Humans are slow, innaccurate, and brilliant; computers are fast, acurrate, and dumb; together they are unbeatable!
I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone. -- Bjarne Stroustrup
I love deadlines... I love the wooshing noise they make as they fly by. -- Douglas Adams
If Bill Gates had a cent for every time a Windows box crashed...oh, wait a minute - he already does.
If an infinite number of computer programmers programmed for an infinite number of years, they would eventually come up with a working operating system. Bill Gates, being impatient, gave them two days and took the first one that was finished.
If you wish to convince people of something, it is more useful to be entertaining than to be right.
Intel Inside, Idiot Outside.
It is better not to do something than to do it poorly.
Life's unfair - but root password helps!
Linux means productivity and fun. NT means 'Not Today'.
Linux: A re-Gnu-able resource.
Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
Linux: Where do you want to GO... Oh, I'm already there!
Love is Hate. War is Peace. Windows is stable.
MCSE: Minesweeper Consultant, Solitare Expert
Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. 'No' is the answer!
My terminal emulator grew legs -- Linus Torvalds
Name one nice thing about Windows? It doesn't just crash, it displays a dialog box and lets you press 'OK' first.
No trees were killed in the creation of this message. However, many electrons were terribly inconvenienced.
People nowadays, complaining they only get 5MBs of disk space! In my day we were lucky if we had one file, and that was /dev/null.
Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.
The Geek shall inherit the earth. - Linus 5:5
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
The extra cost only buys you *more* ways to break the network. The standard ways found on less costly hardware all come standard. --Samuel Thomas
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it is.
The relative speed of a computer, regardless of CPU architecture, is inversely proportional to the number of Microsoft products installed.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don't...
There's no obfuscated Perl contest because it's Pointless -- Jeff Polk
They have a rule that after you pass too many classes they give you a diploma and tell you to get lost. -- R.M.S.
To err is human; to really screw things up requires the root password.
To know recursion, you must first know recursion.
Unix is user-friendly - it's just choosy about who its friends are. --Anonymous
Why would people waste their time developing viruses for Microsoft products when Microsoft does such a good job itself of adding in bugs which crash your system?
Windows 2000, Users Zilch.
Windows hasn't increased computer literacy. It's just lowered the standard.
Welcome to Hell. Here's your copy of Windows.
We're sysadmins. To us, data is a protocol overhead. --Mans Nilsson
Windows: Microsoft's tax on computer illiterates.
Windows: The first user interface where you click "Start" to turn it off.
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]