TamperMonkey script for sterilizing the DWTF comments section

DailyWTF_Comment_Cleaner.user.js

// ==UserScript==
// @name         DailyWTF Comment Cleaner
// @namespace    https://github.com/styrofoamboy
// @version      0.5.7
// @description  Sterilize TDWTF Comments
// @author       Mike Unfried
// @match        http://thedailywtf.com/articles/comments/*
// @grant        none
// ==/UserScript==

// MasterX244 has created a full repo for this code here: 
//   https://github.com/masterX244/BlakeyNope

// I will try and keep this up-to-date from that repo, just in case the TamperMonkey auto-update thing actually starts working,
//   but his repo should be considered the "real" version.

//Accents killer from http://stackoverflow.com/a/18391901/1405227 by rdllopes
/*
   Licensed under the Apache License, Version 2.0 (the "License");
   you may not use this file except in compliance with the License.
   You may obtain a copy of the License at
       http://www.apache.org/licenses/LICENSE-2.0
   Unless required by applicable law or agreed to in writing, software
   distributed under the License is distributed on an "AS IS" BASIS,
   WITHOUT WARRANTIES OR CONDITIONS OF ANY KIND, either express or implied.
   See the License for the specific language governing permissions and
   limitations under the License.
*/
    var defaultDiacriticsRemovalMap = [
        {'base':'A', 'letters':'\u0041\u24B6\uFF21\u00C0\u00C1\u00C2\u1EA6\u1EA4\u1EAA\u1EA8\u00C3\u0100\u0102\u1EB0\u1EAE\u1EB4\u1EB2\u0226\u01E0\u00C4\u01DE\u1EA2\u00C5\u01FA\u01CD\u0200\u0202\u1EA0\u1EAC\u1EB6\u1E00\u0104\u023A\u2C6F'},
        {'base':'AA','letters':'\uA732'},
        {'base':'AE','letters':'\u00C6\u01FC\u01E2'},
        {'base':'AO','letters':'\uA734'},
        {'base':'AU','letters':'\uA736'},
        {'base':'AV','letters':'\uA738\uA73A'},
        {'base':'AY','letters':'\uA73C'},
        {'base':'B', 'letters':'\u0042\u24B7\uFF22\u1E02\u1E04\u1E06\u0243\u0182\u0181'},
        {'base':'C', 'letters':'\u0043\u24B8\uFF23\u0106\u0108\u010A\u010C\u00C7\u1E08\u0187\u023B\uA73E'},
        {'base':'D', 'letters':'\u0044\u24B9\uFF24\u1E0A\u010E\u1E0C\u1E10\u1E12\u1E0E\u0110\u018B\u018A\u0189\uA779\u00D0'},
        {'base':'DZ','letters':'\u01F1\u01C4'},
        {'base':'Dz','letters':'\u01F2\u01C5'},
        {'base':'E', 'letters':'\u0045\u24BA\uFF25\u00C8\u00C9\u00CA\u1EC0\u1EBE\u1EC4\u1EC2\u1EBC\u0112\u1E14\u1E16\u0114\u0116\u00CB\u1EBA\u011A\u0204\u0206\u1EB8\u1EC6\u0228\u1E1C\u0118\u1E18\u1E1A\u0190\u018E'},
        {'base':'F', 'letters':'\u0046\u24BB\uFF26\u1E1E\u0191\uA77B'},
        {'base':'G', 'letters':'\u0047\u24BC\uFF27\u01F4\u011C\u1E20\u011E\u0120\u01E6\u0122\u01E4\u0193\uA7A0\uA77D\uA77E'},
        {'base':'H', 'letters':'\u0048\u24BD\uFF28\u0124\u1E22\u1E26\u021E\u1E24\u1E28\u1E2A\u0126\u2C67\u2C75\uA78D'},
        {'base':'I', 'letters':'\u0049\u24BE\uFF29\u00CC\u00CD\u00CE\u0128\u012A\u012C\u0130\u00CF\u1E2E\u1EC8\u01CF\u0208\u020A\u1ECA\u012E\u1E2C\u0197'},
        {'base':'J', 'letters':'\u004A\u24BF\uFF2A\u0134\u0248'},
        {'base':'K', 'letters':'\u004B\u24C0\uFF2B\u1E30\u01E8\u1E32\u0136\u1E34\u0198\u2C69\uA740\uA742\uA744\uA7A2'},
        {'base':'L', 'letters':'\u004C\u24C1\uFF2C\u013F\u0139\u013D\u1E36\u1E38\u013B\u1E3C\u1E3A\u0141\u023D\u2C62\u2C60\uA748\uA746\uA780'},
        {'base':'LJ','letters':'\u01C7'},
        {'base':'Lj','letters':'\u01C8'},
        {'base':'M', 'letters':'\u004D\u24C2\uFF2D\u1E3E\u1E40\u1E42\u2C6E\u019C'},
        {'base':'N', 'letters':'\u004E\u24C3\uFF2E\u01F8\u0143\u00D1\u1E44\u0147\u1E46\u0145\u1E4A\u1E48\u0220\u019D\uA790\uA7A4'},
        {'base':'NJ','letters':'\u01CA'},
        {'base':'Nj','letters':'\u01CB'},
        {'base':'O', 'letters':'\u004F\u24C4\uFF2F\u00D2\u00D3\u00D4\u1ED2\u1ED0\u1ED6\u1ED4\u00D5\u1E4C\u022C\u1E4E\u014C\u1E50\u1E52\u014E\u022E\u0230\u00D6\u022A\u1ECE\u0150\u01D1\u020C\u020E\u01A0\u1EDC\u1EDA\u1EE0\u1EDE\u1EE2\u1ECC\u1ED8\u01EA\u01EC\u00D8\u01FE\u0186\u019F\uA74A\uA74C'},
        {'base':'OI','letters':'\u01A2'},
        {'base':'OO','letters':'\uA74E'},
        {'base':'OU','letters':'\u0222'},
        {'base':'OE','letters':'\u008C\u0152'},
        {'base':'oe','letters':'\u009C\u0153'},
        {'base':'P', 'letters':'\u0050\u24C5\uFF30\u1E54\u1E56\u01A4\u2C63\uA750\uA752\uA754'},
        {'base':'Q', 'letters':'\u0051\u24C6\uFF31\uA756\uA758\u024A'},
        {'base':'R', 'letters':'\u0052\u24C7\uFF32\u0154\u1E58\u0158\u0210\u0212\u1E5A\u1E5C\u0156\u1E5E\u024C\u2C64\uA75A\uA7A6\uA782'},
        {'base':'S', 'letters':'\u0053\u24C8\uFF33\u1E9E\u015A\u1E64\u015C\u1E60\u0160\u1E66\u1E62\u1E68\u0218\u015E\u2C7E\uA7A8\uA784'},
        {'base':'T', 'letters':'\u0054\u24C9\uFF34\u1E6A\u0164\u1E6C\u021A\u0162\u1E70\u1E6E\u0166\u01AC\u01AE\u023E\uA786'},
        {'base':'TZ','letters':'\uA728'},
        {'base':'U', 'letters':'\u0055\u24CA\uFF35\u00D9\u00DA\u00DB\u0168\u1E78\u016A\u1E7A\u016C\u00DC\u01DB\u01D7\u01D5\u01D9\u1EE6\u016E\u0170\u01D3\u0214\u0216\u01AF\u1EEA\u1EE8\u1EEE\u1EEC\u1EF0\u1EE4\u1E72\u0172\u1E76\u1E74\u0244'},
        {'base':'V', 'letters':'\u0056\u24CB\uFF36\u1E7C\u1E7E\u01B2\uA75E\u0245'},
        {'base':'VY','letters':'\uA760'},
        {'base':'W', 'letters':'\u0057\u24CC\uFF37\u1E80\u1E82\u0174\u1E86\u1E84\u1E88\u2C72'},
        {'base':'X', 'letters':'\u0058\u24CD\uFF38\u1E8A\u1E8C'},
        {'base':'Y', 'letters':'\u0059\u24CE\uFF39\u1EF2\u00DD\u0176\u1EF8\u0232\u1E8E\u0178\u1EF6\u1EF4\u01B3\u024E\u1EFE'},
        {'base':'Z', 'letters':'\u005A\u24CF\uFF3A\u0179\u1E90\u017B\u017D\u1E92\u1E94\u01B5\u0224\u2C7F\u2C6B\uA762'},
        {'base':'a', 'letters':'\u0061\u24D0\uFF41\u1E9A\u00E0\u00E1\u00E2\u1EA7\u1EA5\u1EAB\u1EA9\u00E3\u0101\u0103\u1EB1\u1EAF\u1EB5\u1EB3\u0227\u01E1\u00E4\u01DF\u1EA3\u00E5\u01FB\u01CE\u0201\u0203\u1EA1\u1EAD\u1EB7\u1E01\u0105\u2C65\u0250'},
        {'base':'aa','letters':'\uA733'},
        {'base':'ae','letters':'\u00E6\u01FD\u01E3'},
        {'base':'ao','letters':'\uA735'},
        {'base':'au','letters':'\uA737'},
        {'base':'av','letters':'\uA739\uA73B'},
        {'base':'ay','letters':'\uA73D'},
        {'base':'b', 'letters':'\u0062\u24D1\uFF42\u1E03\u1E05\u1E07\u0180\u0183\u0253'},
        {'base':'c', 'letters':'\u0063\u24D2\uFF43\u0107\u0109\u010B\u010D\u00E7\u1E09\u0188\u023C\uA73F\u2184'},
        {'base':'d', 'letters':'\u0064\u24D3\uFF44\u1E0B\u010F\u1E0D\u1E11\u1E13\u1E0F\u0111\u018C\u0256\u0257\uA77A'},
        {'base':'dz','letters':'\u01F3\u01C6'},
        {'base':'e', 'letters':'\u0065\u24D4\uFF45\u00E8\u00E9\u00EA\u1EC1\u1EBF\u1EC5\u1EC3\u1EBD\u0113\u1E15\u1E17\u0115\u0117\u00EB\u1EBB\u011B\u0205\u0207\u1EB9\u1EC7\u0229\u1E1D\u0119\u1E19\u1E1B\u0247\u025B\u01DD'},
        {'base':'f', 'letters':'\u0066\u24D5\uFF46\u1E1F\u0192\uA77C'},
        {'base':'g', 'letters':'\u0067\u24D6\uFF47\u01F5\u011D\u1E21\u011F\u0121\u01E7\u0123\u01E5\u0260\uA7A1\u1D79\uA77F'},
        {'base':'h', 'letters':'\u0068\u24D7\uFF48\u0125\u1E23\u1E27\u021F\u1E25\u1E29\u1E2B\u1E96\u0127\u2C68\u2C76\u0265'},
        {'base':'hv','letters':'\u0195'},
        {'base':'i', 'letters':'\u0069\u24D8\uFF49\u00EC\u00ED\u00EE\u0129\u012B\u012D\u00EF\u1E2F\u1EC9\u01D0\u0209\u020B\u1ECB\u012F\u1E2D\u0268\u0131'},
        {'base':'j', 'letters':'\u006A\u24D9\uFF4A\u0135\u01F0\u0249'},
        {'base':'k', 'letters':'\u006B\u24DA\uFF4B\u1E31\u01E9\u1E33\u0137\u1E35\u0199\u2C6A\uA741\uA743\uA745\uA7A3'},
        {'base':'l', 'letters':'\u006C\u24DB\uFF4C\u0140\u013A\u013E\u1E37\u1E39\u013C\u1E3D\u1E3B\u017F\u0142\u019A\u026B\u2C61\uA749\uA781\uA747'},
        {'base':'lj','letters':'\u01C9'},
        {'base':'m', 'letters':'\u006D\u24DC\uFF4D\u1E3F\u1E41\u1E43\u0271\u026F'},
        {'base':'n', 'letters':'\u006E\u24DD\uFF4E\u01F9\u0144\u00F1\u1E45\u0148\u1E47\u0146\u1E4B\u1E49\u019E\u0272\u0149\uA791\uA7A5'},
        {'base':'nj','letters':'\u01CC'},
        {'base':'o', 'letters':'\u006F\u24DE\uFF4F\u00F2\u00F3\u00F4\u1ED3\u1ED1\u1ED7\u1ED5\u00F5\u1E4D\u022D\u1E4F\u014D\u1E51\u1E53\u014F\u022F\u0231\u00F6\u022B\u1ECF\u0151\u01D2\u020D\u020F\u01A1\u1EDD\u1EDB\u1EE1\u1EDF\u1EE3\u1ECD\u1ED9\u01EB\u01ED\u00F8\u01FF\u0254\uA74B\uA74D\u0275'},
        {'base':'oi','letters':'\u01A3'},
        {'base':'ou','letters':'\u0223'},
        {'base':'oo','letters':'\uA74F'},
        {'base':'p','letters':'\u0070\u24DF\uFF50\u1E55\u1E57\u01A5\u1D7D\uA751\uA753\uA755'},
        {'base':'q','letters':'\u0071\u24E0\uFF51\u024B\uA757\uA759'},
        {'base':'r','letters':'\u0072\u24E1\uFF52\u0155\u1E59\u0159\u0211\u0213\u1E5B\u1E5D\u0157\u1E5F\u024D\u027D\uA75B\uA7A7\uA783'},
        {'base':'s','letters':'\u0073\u24E2\uFF53\u00DF\u015B\u1E65\u015D\u1E61\u0161\u1E67\u1E63\u1E69\u0219\u015F\u023F\uA7A9\uA785\u1E9B'},
        {'base':'t','letters':'\u0074\u24E3\uFF54\u1E6B\u1E97\u0165\u1E6D\u021B\u0163\u1E71\u1E6F\u0167\u01AD\u0288\u2C66\uA787'},
        {'base':'tz','letters':'\uA729'},
        {'base':'u','letters': '\u0075\u24E4\uFF55\u00F9\u00FA\u00FB\u0169\u1E79\u016B\u1E7B\u016D\u00FC\u01DC\u01D8\u01D6\u01DA\u1EE7\u016F\u0171\u01D4\u0215\u0217\u01B0\u1EEB\u1EE9\u1EEF\u1EED\u1EF1\u1EE5\u1E73\u0173\u1E77\u1E75\u0289'},
        {'base':'v','letters':'\u0076\u24E5\uFF56\u1E7D\u1E7F\u028B\uA75F\u028C'},
        {'base':'vy','letters':'\uA761'},
        {'base':'w','letters':'\u0077\u24E6\uFF57\u1E81\u1E83\u0175\u1E87\u1E85\u1E98\u1E89\u2C73'},
        {'base':'x','letters':'\u0078\u24E7\uFF58\u1E8B\u1E8D'},
        {'base':'y','letters':'\u0079\u24E8\uFF59\u1EF3\u00FD\u0177\u1EF9\u0233\u1E8F\u00FF\u1EF7\u1E99\u1EF5\u01B4\u024F\u1EFF'},
        {'base':'z','letters':'\u007A\u24E9\uFF5A\u017A\u1E91\u017C\u017E\u1E93\u1E95\u01B6\u0225\u0240\u2C6C\uA763'}
    ];

    var diacriticsMap = {};
    for (var i=0; i < defaultDiacriticsRemovalMap .length; i++){
        var letters = defaultDiacriticsRemovalMap [i].letters;
        for (var j=0; j < letters.length ; j++){
            diacriticsMap[letters[j]] = defaultDiacriticsRemovalMap [i].base;
        }
    }

    // "what?" version ... http://jsperf.com/diacritics/12
    function removeDiacritics (str) {
        return str.replace(/[^\u0000-\u007E]/g, function(a){
           return diacriticsMap[a] || a;
        });
    }



// Creates a case-insensitive version of the ':contains' selector
jQuery.expr[':'].Contains = jQuery.expr.createPseudo(function(arg) {
    return function ( elem ) {
        return removeDiacritics(jQuery(elem).text()).toUpperCase().indexOf(arg.toUpperCase()) >= 0;
    };
});
(function() {
    'use strict';
    var illegalText = ['this website sucks','delete this fucking website','FUCKING WEBSITE','stupid website','suxxx','remove this page from the internet.'];
    var names = ['B L A K E Y R A T','b?keyrat','blameyrat','Fuck you alex','bläkeyrat','blockyrat','B lALye key RraBlaRAT',
                 'Bla-key-rat','blaKEY RaT','CHARLIEMOUSE','blakeyrat','BonkeyRatt','BarfyRoot',
                'bakedrat','b!L ??? Ake ySD RATTT','b l LOL ake ( huh ) ey RaT','Blekyrat','drop-table BLKYRAT;',
                //Impersonators of registered accounts
                'Remy Porter'
                ];
    var nameList = '';
    var i;
    for (i = 0; i < names.length; i++) {
        if (i > 0) nameList += ", ";
        nameList += "span.poster:Contains('" + names[i] + "')";
    }
        // Set max-height for comments (prevents anyone from "taking over" the page with a paste-bomb.
    $(".comments > .comment").css({maxHeight: '24em', overflow: 'auto' });
    // Hides all images, pending a mouse over
    var images = $(".comments > .comment img");
    images.hide();
    images.each(function() {
        //$(this).prop("title", $(this).prop("src"));
        var img = $(this);
        var parent = img.parent();
        img.detach();
        var c = $("<span>", { css: { display: 'inline', position: 'relative' } } );
        var msg = $("<span>", { css: { fontSize: '0.8em', padding: '4px', cursor: 'pointer', border: '1px solid blue' } } );
        msg.append("Image");
        c.append(msg);
        c.append(img);
        parent.append(c);
        var tooltip = $("<span>", { css: { zIndex: '1000', display: 'none', padding: '2px', backgroundColor: 'white', border: '1px solid gray' } } );
        tooltip.append(img.prop("src"));
        c.append(tooltip);
        var msgPos = msg.position();
        var msgHt = msg.outerHeight();
        c.hover(function () {
            tooltip.css( { position: 'absolute', top: msgPos.top + msgHt, left: msgPos.left } );
            tooltip.fadeIn('fast');
        }, function () {
            tooltip.fadeOut('fast');
        });
        msg.on("click", function () {
            msg.slideUp('fast');
            img.slideDown('fast');
        });
    });
    // Now, we're going to "filter" comments containing the garbage that *rat frequently spams.
    var badComments = $("li.comment").filter(function(index) {
        var hasIllegalText = false;
        for(var i = 0; i < illegalText.length; i++) {
            if($(this).find(":Contains('" + illegalText[i] + "')").length > 0)
                hasIllegalText = true;
        }
        return (
            ($(this).children(nameList).length > 0 || hasIllegalText) &&
            $(this).children("span.poster-anon:contains('(unregistered)')").length > 0);
    });
    badComments.each(function(idx, key) {
        var p = $(this);
        var cmt = p.find("div[itemprop='text']");
        cmt.hide();
        var hdnMsg = $("<div>", { css: { padding: '4px', backgroundColor: 'silver', color: 'black', cursor: 'pointer', marginTop: '4px' } } );
        var posterName = p.find("span.poster").text();
        hdnMsg.append('Comment has been hidden due to content or poster name. Click to expand, but do so at your own peril...');
        hdnMsg.appendTo(p);
        hdnMsg.on("click", function() {
            hdnMsg.slideUp('fast');
            cmt.slideDown('fast');
        });
    });
})();

I have updated this Gist to match the PullRequest sent to the repo, which includes the beginnings of a content-filtering capability.

Also: installing from a real repo works, too since the "raw" link there contains the filename, too