This essay is for all the founders who have the same strange voice inside their head that I do—the one that tells us that our business has to be a rocketship, that we have to work harder than anyone else, that we have to sacrifice everything for success.
That voice is lying to us.
It’s lying when it tells us that we have to go all out, all the time. That we have to check our email in bed. That we have to work until we can’t remember our kids’ names. That we have to forgo our health, our happiness, our relationships—all for the company.
It’s lying when it tells us that this is the only way to build a business. That the most successful founders are the ones who work the longest hours, who take the biggest risks, who never say no.
It’s lying when it tells us that we’re the only ones who can make this company work. That without us, everything will fall apart. That we have to be the hero, the savior, the only person who can solve the company’s problems.
We don’t have to be a hero. We don’t have to build a startup. We don’t have to sacrifice our lives for the company.
We can build a sustainable, profitable business that provides for our families, serves our customers, and supports our employees. We can work reasonable hours, take care of our health, and spend time with our loved ones. We can say no to the things that don’t matter, and yes to the things that do.
We can be happy. And we can be successful.
The problem is that we’ve been sold a lie. The startup myth—that if we just work hard enough, if we just hustle long enough, if we just keep grinding, we’ll build a unicorn, we’ll change the world, we’ll be the next Steve Jobs—is a dangerous, destructive lie.
It’s a lie that’s fueled by the media, by investors, by our peers. It’s a lie that’s built on survivorship bias—on the stories of the few founders who made it big, not on the stories of the millions who failed. It’s a lie that’s designed to make us feel inadequate, to make us feel like we’re not doing enough, like we’re not good enough.
The startup myth is a lie. But it’s a lie that we believe. And because we believe it, we sacrifice everything for our companies.
We sacrifice our health. We sacrifice our happiness. We sacrifice our relationships. We sacrifice our lives.
We do all of this because we think we have to. Because we think that building a startup is the only way to be successful, the only way to be happy, the only way to make a difference in the world.
But it’s not. We can be successful without sacrificing everything. We can be happy without working 100-hour weeks. We can make a difference without building a unicorn.
We can be ordinary. And that’s okay.
So don’t be a hero. Don’t build a startup. Build a business. Build a life. Build a legacy.
Build something that you’re proud of. Build something that provides value to the world. Build something that you can sustain for years, decades, generations.
Build something that makes you happy. And build it on your own terms.
Because the truth is that the startup myth is a lie. And the only way to break free from that lie is to realize that we don’t have to be heroes.
We can just be ourselves. And that’s more than enough.