My Last Words - Ajahn Prawit

My Last Words - Ajahn Prawit
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:date: 2012-12-11 11:38
:author: Ajahn Prawit
:tags: Ajahn Prawit
:category: Ajahn Prawit
:summary: My Last Words - `Ajahn Prawit`_


Greetings everyone

Voice you are hearing right now is a dead man’s voice. Don’t be panic!
It’s been recorded before I passed away to thank and to give everyone who’s
attending at my funeral an aspect of dying.

I believed that my death may have been mourned by my relatives,
my co-religionists. It may not be that much but to comfort everyone who feels
their losses and giving them an advise for those who shall lose their love ones
in the future, I’d like to say some religion discourses to you such as

In 2006, I remained in Hadyaisitaraam monastery at Songkhla province during
rainey season. A few days after the end of Buddhist lent day, there was a man
who was shot dead nearby the monastery. While I was looking at the corpse, all
the sudden something came up in my head

1.Dead man didn’t suffer at all eventhough he was shot in the head three
times. Eventhough, he lied down on the ground without any mats, pillows or
blankets. Eventhough, he was laid eyes on by monks, polices and villagers around
hundreds of them. Even if the body was left like that, he wouldn’t be suffered
from flies or maggots at all. That means he didn’t feel any suffering
whatsoever, so why are we feeling sorry for him? This was the first thought that
came into my head while I was staring at the corpse. So, I’d like to say to you
all that right now I’m not suffering also. All the suffers in the world such as
suffers from hunger, thirst, cold or hot weather, illness, suffers from trying
to gain more money, keeping it or even losing it. Suffers from any fears or
other distresses, right now I have none of them. Therefore, all of you should
congratulate with me right? Likewise, in other cases, everyone shouldn’t be
distressed from passing away of your love ones also.

My second thought had happened while I was staring at the corpse, I was thinking
that his death may have been mourned by his love ones, shedding their tears for
his death. Although, none of the others cried for him because nobody knew him
but his relatives were definitely going to have their hearts broken especially
knowing that their love ones was shot to death.

I was thinking about the others who are still alive. If the person is dead, his
love ones must have cried their hearts out too. So, I was thinking of myself,
likewise if I’m dead, my mother and father, my sister and other relatives must
certainly have lost their tears for my death also.

With these thoughts made me think further that even if we live and die without
causing anyone’s tears will be considered living supreme lives.

I used to think when I was a novice that I didn’t want to cause anyone’s
suffering. I didn’t want to be anyone’s burden and I didn’t want anyone to be my
burden also. If I could have predicted the day I die, I would have died in the
wood or cave which no one could have found me but unfortunately I hadn’t
received that special gift yet.

From what I’m saying shows that I didn’t want anyone to lose their tears for me.
Now I’m dead and it’s your burden to arrange the funeral for me.

As I said about my opinion that if we live and die without causing anyone’s
tears will consider to be fantastic, so you guys please kindly give me that
honorable life which I deserved.

My third thought, while I was at the crime scene, I was thinking that what if
the dead one could have spoken his last words, it would have been not to be
sorry for him. In fact that, anyone who loves and cares for each other doesn’t
want his or her love lovers to suffer especially he’s the cause of it.

When I was young I used to swim in a canal, diving into a rock and got scratched
on my forehead. I was bleeding when I got home. My mom was frightened when she
saw me, rushing to see the wound and asked me what happened. She took care of it
so I felt minorly injured but when I saw her worried, I didn’t feel good at all.
Although, my forehead wasn’t that bad, why did she still suffer for me? But I
came to understand that’s because my mom loved and cared about me.

When I became a novice, I once went back home. Before I left, my dad came to sit
and chat with me. He wanted to give me some money for bus fares and for the time
of sickness but I refused. He kept telling me to take it, I still insisted.
Then, I noticed that my dad’s eyes started to turn red, tears were coming out. I
knew he worried about me a lot so I said something to comfort him that it’s ok
not to have any money. I could ask for a ride, if not I was just going to walk
but they allowed me to go with them so far. My dad hadn’t said another one word.
After this incident, I didn’t feel so good also because knowing that my dad had
the same feeling as me concerning my refusal to take the money.

I gave this second incident to support my point of view that love ones doesn’t
want the others to suffer especially he or she’s the cause of it. I believed you
all must have had the same experience to support my point of view also.

I personally give my best regards to all of you, not to see you all suffer. If
my death has made you all mourned and suffered, I would have felt uncomfortable
also. Do you want me to suffer from you suffering?

My fourth thought, I felt that lying corpse was the garbage whose he was left
behind. How can a corpse become garbage? All of you think about it.

Being a garbage didn’t come from the start but it’s the effect from a changed
valuable thing which was worn down by time until its value had vanished. Then,
it started from that point on.

How’d flowers look after seven days you guys have bought to worship Buddha’s
image?

When you had your favorite meal, why’d you still need to go to toilet? Fancy
clothes you’ve bought five or ten years ago, do you still wear them?

Beautiful bride who’s so hard to get, saving money thousands and thousands were
spent on marriage, finally they’re divorced. Don’t these incidents happen
everywhere?

Very expensive cars or not will finally be a piece of junk, etc.

This example shows that time changes precious things into disgusted rubbish at
the end.

People’s life doesn’t make much difference although life is the most precious
thing for everyone. Feeding and taking care of them the best we could but when
life gets old, young and soft skins of ours become withered, eyes that used to
see things clearly become blurred or even blind at last. Body strength become
weakened, people who used to walk fine has to walk with a cane. Bright and smart
brains become slow and rusty. Every decayed parts are ready to cause some damage
for their owners any moment, or caused by any accidents, deceases like AIDS or
cancer, precious life of ours become garbage that’s waiting to be disposed. In
the moment of death began when the owner had decided to abandon their lives,
what‘s left was just a corpse like a piece of stiff wood.

Right now my life has become a piece of garbage so I dumped it like you all see
at the moment. Therefore, you shouldn’t be mourning of my death. Instead, you
all ought to be delighted that I could finally dump this disgusting garbage.
From now on, it’s your burden to dispose this pile of junk for me.

This was my feelings happened while I was staring at the corpse, so I’d like
conclude them once more, such as

First feeling: Dead people didn’t suffer so why are we suffering for them? Now,
I’m dead who’s feeling the same as those corpses, so why will you all be
suffering for me then?

Second feeling: If we live and die without causing anyone’s tears will
consider to be living supreme lives, so you all please kindly give me that
superb life that I deserved.

My third feeling: Dead people didn’t want his love ones to be suffering for him,
including me also.

My fourth feeling: Corpse is a piece of junk which was dumped by the owner, and
I did exactly the same with this junk. So, why’s everyone going to be suffering
for a piece of junk?

I still have many things to say to you all, please hang on and keep paying
attention.

I felt that I wasn’t going to have a long life, actually I didn’t want it
because knowing that long life people usually gets weak, having illness take
over, depending on others all the time which I wanted none of those. In a matter
of having a short life or long one, I’ve had an opinion I’d like to share with
all of you.

Normally when people see someone dies young, they feel sad for the shorty life
that could have reached 60 or 70 years old. When they see someone who dies at
the age of almost hundred years old, they’re delightful of living a long life
and wanted to live that long too. This’s what most people think.

But for The Arahant monk who has no pleasure in life, there’s not much
difference between dying young or living a long life because his mind has no
pleasure or sorrow in life that’s why.

People needs to live longer without knowing that it means suffering longer too.

In contrast, dying young is considered short suffering. For those who has great
wisdom, seeing the truth and out of pleasure in life, dying young is actually
better than living a long life because being able to finally leave the burden
which is this pile of garbage if living longer means heavier burden.

It’s like two people carries 50 kilos of something, a person carry it for 50
meters and drop it, the other carry it for 100 meters then drop it, who is
heavier and more tired?

Likewise, dying at young age better than living a long life, isn’t it?

After you guys have heard this message, you may have an opposite point of view.
I’m also considering it, please look at the benefit of message I mentioned
before.

I used to regret that many masters have passed away with just 50-60 years of
age, if they had gone 80 or 90 years old, they would have done much more good
then, but after I thought it over, I came to understanding then.

Today I may have died young, you all may feel regret for me. If being so, please
consider the message I said before more often and you’ll leave that sadness and
not feeling hurt for yourself if you must have died at a young age also.

I didn’t know what’s the cause of my death, where and when to die. How I would
look when I die. So, I always prepared to die and no matter how I die, It would
always have been appropriated.

If you saw me die in an unpleasant pity way, how would you all feel? Grieved,
disgusted, pity, laugh at or what? No matter how you feel, do not concern me at
all. It’s your responsibility for your own feeling.

I’d like to tell all of you that

Once I was out for alms-gathering, I saw a dog lying dead on the side of the
road, from dying fresh until skin got swollen, maggots were everywhere and
started to smell very bad. I asked myself if I must die like this stray dog, how
would I feel?

It might have been uglier, my feeling answered.

I asked myself further that lying in a gorgeous coffin, having an honorable
funeral or drop dead like a stray dog, what difference does it make?

lying dead on the side of the road, rotten. It looked indecent, a feeling
answered once more.

Did dead people indecent? Or that’s how living ones felt. A feeling questioned.

Living ones!

So, I gave myself an opinion that

Therefore, dead people didn’t suffer no matter where He’s dead or how. Being so,
how did stray dog die make any difference?

Then, I’d like to tell you that no matter what condition I’d have died in, I
wouldn’t have held it to suffer myself, and why have you?

Please, everyone be listened further.

In order for us to have a person be with us as long as it takes, that’s because
we’re selfish. We’re happy to be with him, not seeing him left because we won’t
be happy anymore if he did. So, being with that person as long as it takes is
considered selfishness.

We’re got to look at another angle, it’s that person’s angle not ours, we’ll
find out that sometimes that person wanted to leave us in order for him to be
more happy without us, or sometimes he’s still care about us, and didn’t want to
leave us also but knowing that when he left us, he’ll meet a new thing which was
going to make him be much happier than before, so he’s got to leave us no matter
what. We must understand that leaving us makes him happier so why should we
contain him for? We ought to let him go his way, don’t we?

Loving him isn’t supposed to only makes us happy but It means making him happy
too. Today when he’s going to be more delighted leaving us to find a better
thing, we should congratulate him, don’t we?

Relationship of people’s always got to have passion one way or the other, mom
and dad love their kid, kid loves mom and dad, husband loves his wife, brother
and sister, close friends love each other, when someone we love is passed away,
we must try to see it according to what I said before, suffering from losing
someone will be decreased.

Today I left all of you on the way I supposed to go, you guys please have got to
join together to congratulate me.

Once I’d thought of my mom, how’s she doing at the moment? And thought that my
mom must have been fine. Otherwise, if she’s sick, someone would have given me a
call because she that’s all I need to know. Before this I didn’t think of my mom
even she’s still alive but I didn’t recognize of her existence. Being alive is
like being dead to me because I didn’t think of her, I wasn’t happy or suffered
of her at all while I hadn’t thought of her but when I had and I knew it for
sure that she’s still alive, I’d be pleased.

So, my point of view was

Being alive or being a part of one thing didn’t make us suffer as long as we
didn’t recognize of it.

But when we’ve thought or recognize of its existence or apart, then makes us
happy or suffer more or less depending on how much passion we had for that thing
and how much we could understand and handle the truth.

I felt that no matter what my mom’s still alive or not, if I had thought of her
even she’s dead, she’s still alive to me because my mom’s been in my heart. In
contrast, if I didn’t think of her even if she’s still alive, she’d have been
dead to me anyway. Because we haven’t known and not suffering of her existence
at all. From this story, I’d like to tell you all that today I’m dead to you but
that’s not important, I would still be in your heart if you think of me even you
won’t be able to see my face anymore.

In case which other are your love ones have died from you, you should do the
same by missing them and they’ll be in your heart.

Once I went to stay at khao rungnok chalermprakiet monastic residence at Phuket
province during Buddhist lent day season where I really liked it, when I was on
the way back to khao sanamchai monastery, Huahin where I became a monk, I asked
myself while I was sitting in the bus from Phuket

If I wasn’t be able to come back to Phuket, how’d I feel?

The answer was

Never mind, even I must leave Phuket without coming back but I’m on my way to
Huahin where I prefered, plus I’ve been in Phuket many times, I won’t be sorry
if I can’t come back no more.

Next time, I might be able to find a place where I’ve never been to which may be
more beautiful than Phuket, who knows.

From these questions and answers on my thought makes me understand that losing
something’s never suffering us at all if we haven’t mourned for that thing or
equally having other stuff waiting for us. We’re willing to be pleased to leave
for a better thing.

Today I died from this world without feeling any mourns. Anyway I might be able
to born again in this world or born in a better place than this world.

Therefore, I wanted to tell you all not to be mourned for my death and when you
must die won’t feel any sorry for this world by having all your hearts for a
better place.

That’s all I wanted to say to all of you for right now.


.. _Ajahn Prawit: https://plus.google.com/111833191493338940077