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<p name="621d" id="621d" class="graf--p graf--hasDropCapModel graf--hasDropCap graf--first">Two people I knew died this past week. I feel compelled to clarify these were people I met first online and then in real life. But then again, that happens to be just about everyone I know these days.</p>
<p name="997f" id="997f" class="graf--p">The first news came several days ago when I received an email from the leader of one of my online mastermind groups, with the subject line: “Brian and his family might be dead.” It was 4:30 in the afternoon. I ignored the email.</p>
<p name="af58" id="af58" class="graf--p">That evening, just before my son’s bedtime, I gave in to the nasty habit of checking email when I wasn’t supposed to be working and saw a long string of replies to that first email. That’s weird, I thought. All this for something that was surely a joke.</p>
<p name="920a" id="920a" class="graf--p">It wasn’t a joke. Brian and his family were all dead. And sadly, we would soon find out that the cause for what the police called an “apparent murder-suicide” was our friend. Brian <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/authorities-minnesota-family-died-murder-suicide-151435082.html" data-href="http://news.yahoo.com/authorities-minnesota-family-died-murder-suicide-151435082.html" class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor" rel="nofollow">killed his family</a>. And then he killed himself.</p>
<p name="ac89" id="ac89" class="graf--p">I knew Brian. Not well, but I had met him before. We chatted about life and business and even shared about our families. He was a nice guy. So how does any of this make sense?</p>
<p name="c10a" id="c10a" class="graf--p">It doesn’t.</p>
<p name="2432" id="2432" class="graf--p">A few days later, another member of that same small group of entrepreneurs sent a followup email saying, “The bad news keeps coming: Scott Dinsmore passed away yesterday climbing Kilimanjaro.” This time, I didn’t ignore it. It was true. Scott, another friend from the Internet, had died.</p>
<p name="282b" id="282b" class="graf--p">He was on month eight of a year-long, around-the-world adventure with his wife Chelsea. He had just <a href="http://liveyourlegend.net/disconnect-to-connect/" data-href="http://liveyourlegend.net/disconnect-to-connect/" class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor" rel="nofollow">written a blog post</a> announcing he was taking some time to disconnect from technology to be fully present to this adventure he was living.</p>
<h3 name="c800" id="c800" data-align="center" class="graf--h3 graf--startsWithDoubleQuote">“Death is still an enemy”</h3>
<p name="b571" id="b571" class="graf--p">Brian was in his late 40s. Scott was 32. Neither should have died, if you can ever say someone “should” die. And the truth is I don’t know how to process this. I’m feeling a bit numb, I guess, about the whole thing. It doesn’t seem real.</p>
<p name="3500" id="3500" class="graf--p">Brian, in the time that I knew him, was always smiling. He was quiet and pensive, more reserved than many members in the group that we both belonged to. To me, he seemed sensitive, like someone would rather listen than talk your ear off. From what I could tell, he was a happy person.</p>
<p name="b17d" id="b17d" class="graf--p">Scott was gregarious. In the words of a friend, he was a “Bro,” a jock who belonged to all the right clubs and sports in high school. But beneath that bravado was someone who was inquisitive and curious and surprisingly humble. He always had more questions than answers. He believed anything was possible and could never wipe that sometimes-ridiculous smile off his face. I liked Scott.</p>
<p name="804a" id="804a" class="graf--p">At this point, I am supposed to tell you that some good has come from all this tragedy. But I don’t think that’s fair, and it may not even be true. All too often, I think, we try to glorify death, try to minimize its destructive effects on our lives and pretend that it doesn’t wound us so.</p>
<p name="8ca0" id="8ca0" class="graf--p">But that is not how you grieve. And that is not how you heal.</p>
<p name="500c" id="500c" class="graf--p">I remember once at a funeral, my old pastor was eulogizing his mother-in-law and said the Bible said death was the last enemy to be defeated, “but death is still an enemy.” Those words give me comfort now when I don’t know what I should be feeling.</p>
<p name="4f0b" id="4f0b" class="graf--p">There’s something important, I suppose, in having an antagonist in any great story. It helps you remember that what you’re fighting for is worth the battle. Without an enemy, it’s hard to know what’s really at stake.</p>
<h3 name="8d6a" id="8d6a" data-align="center" class="graf--h3">The confusion</h3>
<p name="9135" id="9135" class="graf--p">The first time I experienced death in a very personal way, was when I was a Junior in high school. <a href="http://goinswriter.com/overcome-fear/" data-href="http://goinswriter.com/overcome-fear/" class="markup--anchor markup--p-anchor" rel="nofollow">Doug, one of the most popular kids in my class</a>, suddenly collapsed on the gym floor and died.</p>
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