without bullshit

gistfile1.js

var request = require("request")

var parseBuoyData(buoyid, cb) {
  request(buoyURL(buoyid), function(e, r, b) {
    if (e) {
      throw new Error(e)
    }
    // do all that insane parsing nonsense here

    cb(results)
  });
}

// From the handler,

parseBuoyData(buoyID, function(results) {
  res.send(results);
})