if you need an insult to work faster...

insult.rb

require 'nokogiri'
require 'open-uri'

# thanks to Rosalily for the list of insults
doc = Nokogiri::HTML(open('http://www.cloudnet.com/~renfest/insults.htm'))
# works fine if you need positive feedback too ;)
# http://hubpages.com/hub/List-Of-Positive-Daily-Affirmations

insults = doc.at_css('body ul ul ul ul ul').children.select {|c| c.name =='li'}.map {|c| c.children[0].text}
loop { %x{ say "#{insults.shuffle.first.upcase}"; sleep #{rand(10000)+1000} } }