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@thedod
Created April 22, 2010 17:10
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Various srt captions for http://j.mp/hitlerdenial (be creative. contrib something silly)
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[Child is visible]
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[Child disappears]
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[Now you see him]
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[Now he is gone]
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*The Secret of Invisibility*
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Everyone are so afraid
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of Facebook selling their private
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information to anyone who pays
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but I think it's all for the best
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Ever since I was a little girl
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I dreamed of dropping off the grid
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becoming invisible, going rogue
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now my dream seems closer than ever
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No need to burn out my fingerprints
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no plastic surgery required
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all I need to do is not to join
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much cheaper than acid these days
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more effective than hiding behind a curtain
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also less time consuming
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[Click here to like this video]
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[Click again if movie is paused]
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[Stand up if you play FarmVille]
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[there are 82.4 million of you]
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[better sit down now]
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Nearly half a billion users worldwide
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close to 6% of the human race
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my dream creeps closer with every invite
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slouches towards your PC to be born
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My phone does not ring anymore
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only my friends even know I exist
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a few hundred million users more
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and the government will forget about me too
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One day soon, in a central database
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your fingerprint, your address and your browser history
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will sit together and listen to me
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playing the world's smallest open source violin
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celebrating my new found freedom
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until they come and make joining mandatory
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A warrant? Already?
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[Child thinking]
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[Child thinking off camera]
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*In the future*
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*All will be forgotten*
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*Even Hitler*
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*ESPECIALLY Hitler*
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[Child stops thinking]
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Youtube doesn't allow
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spoofs on Hitler anymore
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They have reasons, I am sure
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but it's all English to me
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Pushing down popular art
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always makes it sexier
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Hitler's still funny in HTML5
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or as MP4 on cellular
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You can not conduct our lives
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even Google can't
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we swap videos in the streets
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that you're afraid to enter
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What will you do, send in drones?
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much good it did you in Afghanistan
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[This space is intentionally left blank]
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[Be careful]
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[his bowtie is really a camera]
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Behind the wall, your kids sleep
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their router has parental locks
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but behind a russian proxy
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they see porn you wish YOU could
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This isn't bad, they'll need these skills
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to penetrate firewalls
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When social order goes down soon
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they will set you up with Fidonet
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In the 90s they've raided many raves
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made trance music popular
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now they're busting up THIS joint
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I just saw on twitter
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We [Chinese] are expendable
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there are more where I came from
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Do you have a warrant?
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[child is waiting]
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[waiting for something big]
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[what is it?]
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[what could it be?]
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*The Story of Creation*
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ask the seasoned author
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"what's your secret of success?"
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he'll answer: it's my publisher, this nasty
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bully, crazy ass.
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he tells me, give me book
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one year, or money back
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treats me like a child
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that's what makes it nice
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thanks I owe my editor
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who tells me all the time:
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"your words are my fucking birthright"
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"stay away, don't touch"
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"what, you are still here?"
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"I know Kung Fu. seriously, watch it"
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[here are your children's children]
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[and their children]
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[waiting for a good book to read]
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perfectionism is the only thing
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worse than mediocrity
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fight the enemy within
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and make your miracle reality
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i'll tell you a private secret
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I'm an anal girl
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all my childhood refused to take a dump
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honestly, nine years with no shit
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then daddy locked me in the toilet
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and said: "my precious Bao-Yu"
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"say 'bye bye! bye bye shit!'"
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"and let it go"
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replace all kaluski's drawings with
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pictures of your penis if you like, just get the -
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what? an announcement?
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