NYTCween.js

(function(){
  var $$ = function(query){
    !!(query && query.nodeType == 1) ?
      this.dom = query
    :
      this.dom = document.getElementById(query);
  };
  
  $$.prototype.remove = function(){
    this.dom.parentNode.removeChild(this.dom);
    return this;
  };
  
  $$.prototype.css = function(rules){
    for(i in rules)
      this.dom.style[i] = rules[i];
    return this;
  };
  
  $$.prototype.append = function(html){
    var el = document.createElement("div");
    el.innerHTML = html;
    for(var i = 0; i < el.children.length; i++)
      this.dom.appendChild(el.children[i]);
    return this;
  };
  
  $$.prototype.replaceWith = function(html){
    var parent = this.dom.parentNode;
    this.remove();
    $(parent).append(html);
    return $($(parent).lastChild); 
  };
  
  var $ = function(query){
    return new $$(query);
  };
  
  var hide = {};
  hide.the = function(el){
    $(el).replaceWith("<img src=" + enHatMan() + "/>");
    return this;
  };
  
  var enHatMan = function() {
    var hatMen = [
      'http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li7y79w7Ps1qzp87ao1_250.gif',
      'http://davidcole.me/drop/nytwhat.gif',
      'http://petervidani.com/images/nyt.gif'
    ];
    var getRandomHatMan = function() {
      return Math.floor(hatMen.length * Math.random());
    };
    return hatMen[getRandomHatMan()];
  };
  
  hide.and = hide;
                                                                                                                                                                           
  hide.the("overlay").and.the("gatewayCreative");
  $(document.body).css({overflow:'scroll'});
  // old school
  $(document.body).append('<audio controls="no" preload="auto" autoplay style="display:none"><source src="themessage.mp3" /></audio>');
})();