WP - Disable Site Health Altogether

wpDisableSiteHealth.php

<?php

// Plugin Name: wpDisableSiteHealth

// Create our namespace and define whether Wordpress is running or not
namespace wpDisableSiteHealth;

defined('ABSPATH') or exit;
if (!is_blog_installed()) return;

// Toggle on or off switch
// return;

// Breakdance on this metabox, BRO
add_action( 'wp_dashboard_setup', __NAMESPACE__.'\removeMetabox' );
function removeMetabox() {
	global $wp_meta_boxes;
	unset( $wp_meta_boxes['dashboard']['normal']['core']['dashboard_site_health'] );
}

// Cha cha this menu out of here!
add_action( 'admin_menu', __NAMESPACE__.'\removeMenuItem', PHP_INT_MAX );
function removeMenuItem() {
	$page = remove_submenu_page( 'tools.php', 'site-health.php' );
}

// Line step these security tests!
add_filter( 'site_status_tests', __NAMESPACE__.'\disableTests', PHP_INT_MAX );
function disableTests( $tests ) {
	unset( $tests['async']['background_updates'] );
	return $tests;
}